2017 Offseason Power Rankings - Part I: The Basement-Dwellers

So. That was an offseason.

After Kevin Durant kind of changed the game last year, this summer became an utter clusterfuck of star - and superstar - movement.

As the salary cap bonanza continued, teams threw astronomical amounts of money around, even with the cap coming up shorter than projected.

Rumors, beefs and demands completely flooded the internet. The soap opera and hype machine factors were higher than ever before.

A deep draft loaded with (what else) point guards gave the league a huge supplement at what was already its most talented position.

And while the Warriors still stand alone as the NBA's best, the power dynamic beneath them has shifted noticeably amid the dustup over the past few months.

So who came out on top of all this madness? Focusing purely on this summer's impact, Banter's attempting to rank how the NBA's various entities fared over the offseason, starting at the bottom with the Basement-Dwellers:

Last Place: The Eastern Conference
It was already long the crappier of the two conferences, but this summer for the East was like Season 3 for the Barksdale crew.

Two of the East's four best players were traded to the West for virtually nothing. A third All-Star left for absolutely nothing. As such, the Hawks, Pacers and Bulls are about to nosedive down the standings, leaving a huge void at the bottom of the playoff bracket.

Concurrently, there was little-to-no progress from East doormats like Orlando, Brooklyn and New York. With the possible exception of the Celtics, every East team top-to-bottom is now crappier than its West counterpart.

While we struggle to justify Eastern All-Stars this year, there will be incessant discussion of LeBron James' apparent intent to also skip town for the West, which would basically be the basketball equivalent of this conversation.

987. Dan Gilbert
Gilbert's Summer started by panic-firing the GM who put the Cavs' championship team together, as he was working a deal for Jimmy Butler no less. Then came the realization that nobody wanted to work for the Comic Sans Bandit when all his target candidates declined.

One of the key factors in their skepticism were rampant rumors - so many that it's hard to just call them rumors - of LeBron's imminent departure. As if that weren't enough, Kyrie Irving then forced his way out of town, capping a total shit-typhoon of a summer for Gilbert's franchise and reputation.

955. Chicago Bulls

Having your former coach commit grand larceny for your franchise player is never a great place to start.

Da Bulls gave up a top 10-15 player, netting a lot of question marks in return: Lauri Markkanen's recent triumphs at Eurobasket are encouraging, but he's still very much a project. Zach LaVine's entire value hinges on a torn ACL. Kris Dunn is somehow an even worse shooter than last season's Rondo/Carter-Williams point squad.

Hours after the Butler debacle, they literally sold Jordan Bell to the Warriors, which is beginning to look like an extremely stupid decision.

Elsewhere, the Bulls overpaid Cristiano Felicio, while the Cameron Payne deal continues to be awful, adding only more cringe to Chicago's offseason.

928. Doc Rivers 
A respected coach who repeatedly sabotaged himself by making dumb moves as GM, Doc's spotty history in the dual-role finally caught up with him this summer.

Chris Paul forced his way out of town amid trepidation of GM Doc's ineptitude, costing Coach Doc his best player. It proved costly for GM Doc too, as he no longer exists.

901. Indiana Pacers 
Much like the Bulls, were completely robbed of an elite swingman. Despite potentially an even worse return, Indiana was severely handicapped by PG wanting to leave them - and likely any team he was traded to - specifically for the Lakers. It can't be frowned upon quite as much as the Bulls' blunder.

874. Nerlens Noel
Pretty awkward summer for Noel, who had 4 years/$70 million on the table, shunned the contract, sat unclaimed for two months, fired his agent, and finally inked the paltry qualifying offer.

While he's free to roam unrestricted in 2018, an injury-heavy past haunts him as he plays for a long-term deal. He's unlikely to find much better next summer, and the potential downside if he gets hurt again is heavy.

858. The Trade Market for Superstars 
Superstars have become a very tricky asset in NBA trade markets. In such a star-driven league, there seems to be no more ground between "this guy's untouchable, we want a king's ransom" and "we're fucked, the league knows he's leaving and they're lowballing us".

The reverse-leverage created by a superstar's flight risk led to absolute robberies of Jimmy Butler and Paul George, while the Clippers only got a pu-pu platter deluxe for Chris Paul. The Cavs might actually win the Kyrie Irving trade, but only because they miraculously targeted the one good team with the right asset mix.

If you're a shitty franchise with a young superstar (looking your way New Orleans), maybe get the jump on the trade market before your situation's obviousness buries you.

834. Utah Jazz
The Jazz were already a grind-it-out defensive team who finished dead last in team scoring last year. Then their two best offensive players left them. Ricky Rubio's a decent pickup who should mesh well with Derrick Favors and Rudy Gobert, but for their biggest needs - scoring and shooting - he's pretty useless.

815. Patrick Patterson

When you're an established NBA veteran who's been a key role player for a winning franchise, and Cristiano Felicio is suddenly signing for twice as much as you, things need to be re-evaluated.

797. New York Knicks
They shed themselves of Phil Jackson, but the same institutional nightmares remain. They proceeded to sign Tim Hardaway Jr to the summer's most-trolled contract, then had to learn the Porzingis drama they thought they killed with Phil could be alive and well.

778. Atlanta Hawks
Whatever siege the city of Atlanta is waging upon pop culture, the Hawks aren't going to be a part of it. With Paul Millsap now in new threads, ATL's entire "Spurs East" roster has been shed, leaving in its wake the likes of Ersan Ilyasova, Miles Plumlee and Luke Babbitt. (Hooray!). They're in full-on rebuild mode with no foundation players or identity.

764. Cleveland Cavaliers
Not quite as insulting an offseason for Cleveland as its owner, but still mildly disastrous. Sure, they got a good return for Kyrie (assuming Isaiah Thomas' hip stays together). They still had to trade a bonafide superstar, worse yet to the only team in the East that threatens them.

Between the trade, its surrounding drama, the opportunity cost of firing David Griffin, the incessant LeBron exodus talk and Boston's power moves, just a bad scene all around for the Cavs.

741. Dallas Mavericks
Because it's the Mavericks, their plans to sign a free-agent center obviously went horribly awry with the lose-lose Nerlens Noel crisis. They also struck out on other key free agent targets, but pulled another season out of Dirk for the legacy bargain of $5 million.

Dennis Smith could be a killer pickup, however the Mavericks are still several steps behind the rest of the West's perennial basement - the Wolves, Suns, Lakers and, yes, somehow even, the Kings - who at least have multiple assets and/or a long-term plan. They're likely to be leapfrogged by several teams in the standings.

711. New Orleans Pelicans
Took without question the summer's biggest gamble giving Jrue Holiday $125 million, and are still painfully thin around Boogie & Brow. Holiday's potential is capped, and his injury risk is severe, leaving only potential downside to a bloody expensive five-year commitment.

The Pelicans also needed spacing around their superstar big men, proceeding to sign Rajon Rondo and Tony Allen; two the weaker shooters by reputation in the NBA. Don't be shocked if this roster flops and the Cousins trade winds start blowing again.

707. Kyle Lowry
Lowry got shafted by the free agency market again, this time due to the ubiquity of the point guard, suddenly a need for fewer teams than ever. Franchises that had cap space and a point void were slim, forcing Lowry to take a shorter deal as his prime fades.

698. Dwight Howard
Shipped out of yet another city after his negligible impact on their franchise (moreover his hometown team). The Hawks knew they overpaid Howard, cutting him loose after just one season to key their rebuild.

He does still stand to make $23.5 million this year, but it's hard to picture a guy who once punched a teammate in the face putting up with much of Howard's immaturity.

679. Los Angeles Clippers

The Clippers definitely can't be happy about their offseason, but given how bad things turned out for other teams that traded superstars, they can't be too upset either.

The Paul haul (plus Danilo Gallinari) leaves them a balanced rotation, with upside to spare from Montrezl Harrell, Sam Dekker and a first-round pick.

Their main concern will be playmaking, particularly for DeAndre Jordan, who will feel CP3's absence the most. They'll have to succeed with Blake Griffin running a lot of point forward; the Clippers currently deploy Pat Beverley, Austin Rivers and second-round pick Jawun Evans at the one.

661. Brooklyn Nets
The Nets got a little cred towards the end of last season when they started busting ass and playing actual edible basketball. But these were baby steps in a cosmic sense. This team is still two years away from being two years away.

While they wrangled D'Angelo Russell from the offseason waters, they hauled in the whale contracts of Timofey Mozgov and Allen Crabbe. Brooklyn also took on the last two years of DeMarre Carroll's gross deal, all together wasting them just around $100 million through 2018-19.

Stay tuned for Part Two: The Half-Steppers, coming soon.

Rubber Soul: Cavs-Warriors Part III

So we've finally arrived at a 2017 Finals matchup that was preordained the moment Kevin Durant joined the dark side.

After a quasi-inconsequential regular season, we were treated to the least suspenseful playoffs in recent memory, hurt not only by the obviousness of its destination, but everything from Toronto's indifference to Zaza Pachulia's defensive fundamentals.

We can lament what could've been over the past few months, but instead let's focus on the legendary potential of what's about to unfold in front of us.

To start, we're going to see a Finals rubber match for the first time in history. Never happened. Not even in the multiple epochs of Celtic-Laker rivalries (they've squared off in back-to-back years on four separate occasions). So that's pretty cool, if not slightly redundant.

The perpetual battle has spawned some not-so-awesome sentiment between these teams, which will make for peak intensity, and increased potential for hilarious animosity-fueled antics (especially when the likes of JR Smith and Javale McGee are involved).

This epic rivalry should also inspire great basketball porn from two simply remarkable teams. The symphony of offensive destruction - orchestrated by likely the NBA's three biggest superstars - should be a classic.

So let's get the obvious out of the way first: YES the Cavaliers do have a chance in this series, just not an incredibly good one.

Golden State completely decimated the West bracket, sporting not only a flawless record, but the highest point differential in playoff history; they certainly look unbeatable. That said, who could've realistically challenged them? The Blazers were a .500 team (#blowoutfodder). The Jazz were (obviously) below full-strength and couldn't have hoped to score with GSW. The Spurs became the first team ever to lose a playoff series while being up 23 in Game 1. The Warriors have been tested very poorly thus far.

The Cavs pose the first serious threat that Golden State has seen all season. After cruising through their schedule like an Easy Rider scene, they'll get their first taste of Fury Road, though it's unclear just how rough things will get for them.

We know that theoretically Golden State should be heavily favored. After all, they likely could've won the title last year if Draymond Green didn't bag-tag LeBron, but still added the NBA's 2nd-best player anyway. Instead of examine what the Warriors need to do to win (show up, play basketball, don't get injured or suspended), let's look at what factors might help the Cavs pull this off:



Defend the Land

The big question obviously is whether the Cavs' defense - which looked suspect for large chunks of this season - can withstand perhaps the best offensive team ever. At first glance it seems like a hard "no", but Cleveland has a few cards to play here.

First off is LeBron; a mirror-image of Draymond Green in his ability to matchup with virtually anyone defensively, and snuff a variety of attacks. They'll be getting Bron's 100% effort on D for likely the first time all year, which could have an immense impact.

Liable defenders Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love have both visibly raised their effectiveness vs. Golden State. Tristan Thompson is also a great insurance policy against the Death Lineup; a rim protector who can switch on pick & rolls, and close out on perimeter players among the best bigs in the league. Steph Curry will not be doing this to him.

Last June, Cleveland did a stellar job of closing the perceived defensive gap between these teams, holding the Dubs to 99.9ppg, while posting similar turnover%, true shooting% and d-rating. That will prove tougher this year, but to suggest the Cavs won't improve their D for this series could be dubious.

Pray for Klay to Stay Down
Also decent news for the Cavs' D is that Klay Thompson is mired in one of the worst offensive stretches of his career. Thompson averaged 22.3 ppg on .468 from the field this season. Last year's playoffs saw him post 24.3 on .444. This postseason, those numbers have plummeted to 14.4 on .383. You certainly can't be leaving him - he can erupt at a moment's notice - but against an attack where Curry and Durant have to be your focus, not having Klay On Fire punish slow rotations is a huge advantage. An off game or two from Thompson could be costly enough.

Test Iguodala
Containing LeBron James is a very relative term, and it's not a great sign for the Warriors that their main means of guarding him is dealing with a bum knee. Not only will a hobbled or absent Andre Iguodala stretch the Warriors that much thinner on D, but will force either Durant or Green to spend the bulk of their minutes on James, burning max effort and potentially risking foul trouble.

Iggy says his knee is "good" (really, what else would he say?) but he'll need to be at his best vs what has all the makings of an apex LeBron performance. Having LBJ attacking his lateral movement (more drives, fewer 3s) could expose weakness and force the Dubs to adjust.

Win the Grit N Grind Battle

One of the biggest keys to Cleveland's win last year was exerting both a physical and mental edge on the suddenly-shook Warriors. The Cavs were running Curry into pick-and-rolls on every possible possession; throwing him into hard screens and physical switches. They were waxing glass with an added nastiness, bodying perimeter movement, and - most valuably - getting inside the heads of their best opponents.

Granted Curry isn't hurt this year, but the same beat-em-up grind can take him off his game. Draymond Green is every bit the same liability if provoked. Zaza Pachulia's thuggish antics will be under the tightest of scrutiny. And the Warriors - even with their pristine playoff record - come into this series still wrestling with demons of the 3-1 collapse, and LeBron quite literally testing them by himself in 2015. Saying they're vulnerable mentally isn't really an overstatement.

Let Mike Brown Live
While coaching the Warriors is more or less cruise control, there's no doubt that they'll miss Steve Kerr, from whom Mike Brown is a reasonable downgrade on the bench. While the Warriors' D - Brown's specialty - will be their main edge in this series, he scores demerits in almost every other key attribute, from in-game adjustments to offensive creativity and motivational appeal. There's a reason why he flamed out in three consecutive head coaching gigs of sharply decreasing length.

A contested playoff series is an on-the-fly battle of wits between coaches, and thus far there's been no example of how Brown responds if this team is threatened. The Finals aren't exactly the time to be figuring those things out, perhaps the only downside of their total blitzkrieg in the West.

Beat the Warriors at Their Own Game
Any team that hopes to beat Golden State over seven games had better be packing heavy artillery, having to out-gun a team that's averaging a ridiculous 118ppg. Their numbers are vaulted slightly by their massacre of the Kawhi-less Spurs: 124.5ppg on .538 and .406 from three. Perhaps the greatest testament to Kawhi's defensive value, the league's #1 D was gruesomely flayed without him.

Meanwhile, the Cavs played the Celtics largely without their worst defender, facing a tough matchup and still dropping 120ppg on .534 and .436. For the Playoffs, they're averaging only 1.5ppg fewer than the Warriors, arguably against tougher overall defense (GSW got complete walks vs the D of 2/3 opponents thus far), while shooting an outrageous 43.5% from long range, hitting 2.5 more per game than the Warriors. They can put numbers on the board in a hurry.

It was long posited that Golden State couldn't be beaten in a shootout series. But the Cavs, having finally flipped "The Switch", look ready to challenge that notion.

Have a LeBron Moment

Much as the Warriors have an array potential gamebreaking stars, the Cavs have LeBron. He's the one human capable of dominating a basketball game in more ways than anyone in history. He's playing some of the best ball of his career right now. And the once-mocked possibility of being mentioned as the G.O.A.T is very much in play for him.

The crescendo towards this series suggests, both in narrative and basketball precedent, that we're about to witness LeBron's piece de résistance. Not only has he never faced greater motivation than to crush the Warriors in this fabled grudge match and enter the Jordan debate, but LeBron has a lengthy history of exceeding big expectations.

Excluding the 2011 Finals - which any rational person can accept as an outlier that will never repeat itself - King James has managed to rise beyond pretty much every occasion, and this shouldn't be any exception.

While there are a number of catalysts for Cleveland to pull off four wins, several of them will likely have to happen at once for the Cavs to prevail. Golden State has an on-paper edge on both sides of the ball, only one of which can really be overcome. Cleveland cracked Boston's rotation-heavy pressure, but the Warriors are longer, better built to stop LeBron, and will have Draymond at peak badass. This team also has another level to attain offensively if Klay Thompson wakes up, at which point the rain might be too much.

It's frustrating that the Warriors are likely going to be validated for concocting a team so unfairly. Golden State benefitted from extremely good fortune on numerous counts, the Durant signing seemingly so flukey and greasy that the league immediately introduced measures to prevent it from happening again. Still, the Warriors pulled it off, and will carve their own niche in the NBA's annals. They'll either be remembered among the greatest teams ever, or as the team LeBron beat to become perhaps the greatest player ever. The stakes could not be higher.

If this series ran 100 times, the Cavs project to win roughly 25-28 of them (based on an advanced algorithmic system that exists only as a front for me just guessing).

Over one series? WARRIORS IN SIX. 

Cleveland and Golden State - Too Good for Their Own Good?

So the NBA playoffs have kind of sucked this year.

Sure there have been some isolated examples of great basketball, but not only has the sense of a Cavs-Warriors inevitability tarnished the overall suspense of this spectacle, many of the individual series have been washes that were hardly ever in doubt.

Cleveland and Golden State's collision course has been about as smooth as possible. The Dubs haven't lost a game yet, while the Cavs hadn't either until Sunday night's outlying Celts comeback. Even that lone loss appears like a glitch, since Boston was without their best player, and down 16 at the half to a team that had spent the past six games beating them and Toronto more savagely than Michael's stepdad in The Wire.

Even the opportunities for intrigue have been sabotaged. As I write this, the Warriors are completing a sweep of the Spurs, one engineered largely in part by a probably-intentional attempt on Kawhi Leonard's weak ankle while the Spurs were up 23 in Game 1. The Bulls seemed to have an 8-1 upset en route vs Boston, then lost #PlayoffRondo along with the next four games. James Harden legitimately appeared to have dropped acid before the most important game of his best season. The only upset we've seen was entirely probable after Blake Griffin (obviously) went down vs the Jazz.

The playoffs have never been so uninvolving. I've voluntarily missed several conference finals games, which says something considering I take in mid-January Bucks-Bobcats games and spend more time with the TNT crew than I do with my family on Christmas. I'm sure a decent portion of the population feels the same - certainly a fair number of dedicated viewers I know - and have tuned out. This can't be a great look for the league, especially in the first year of the new TV deal that lined their checkbooks so excessively last summer.

Much has been made of this predestined dominance being harmful long-term; that competitive parity is damaged and indicative of a trend in the wrong direction. Despite the short-term monotony, I'm not feeling as gloomy about the outlook NBA fans should have, for a number of reasons:

The Finals Haven't Even Happened Yet
First, most of this can be forgiven if the Cavs and Warriors deliver a Finals anywhere even near as epic as 2016's down-to-the-last-second clash. Years from now, maybe we'll look back on the historical significance of this heated matchup trilogy. And if the Cavs somehow pull off a victory, as sacrilegious as it sounds, we're going to have to start realistically talking about LeBron James being the GOAT (sorry, not the only one saying it). We could still witness both history and amazing basketball.

The Warriors Are an Evolutionary Fluke
OK, so the Golden State Warriors are kind of ridiculous. Sure they play an aesthetically pleasant, statistic-obliterating form of basketball, but they seem almost unfairly stacked with talent. Because they are. Consider the catalysts that had to align for this team to materialize:

First, they signed Steph Curry to a long-term deal back when he was a fringe star with glass ankles. Not only has his health since improved considerably, but he's evolved into a two-time MVP. He was the NBA's 73rd-highest paid player this year. John Henson, DeMarre Carroll and Brandon Knight cost their teams more money. Think about that for a few minutes.

Then they had a second-round pick turn into an All-NBA player basically overnight, making Draymond Green one of history's biggest draft steals. Not exactly par for the course.

And obviously this past summer, league payrolls skyrocketed due to a cash influx from a new TV deal. Since the previous deal was struck, basketball's popularity has grown more globally than likely any sport in history over such a short span, creating a spike in revenue - and thus salaries - that had literally never been seen in pro sports. That wild outlier gave the Warriors enough cap space to sign Kevin Fucking Durant, comparatively giving up pennies.

An NBA team would be ridiculously lucky to have any one of those things happen to them; all three is basically a Powerball win.

The Cavs Kind of Are Too
There are a few factors at play here as well. One is obviously that the Cavs employ, in his prime, a guy who by most calculations is one of the two best basketball players ever.

The second are the measures a team is willing/able to make to maximize said player's prime. The Cavs can justify heavy luxury tax when LeBron can guarantee them an annual Finals appearance, while getting commitment from both high-value assets like Kevin Love, and discounted veterans seeking a ring.  LeBron is not only an otherworldly talent, but one who's perpetually lifted the play of those around him; his allure as a teammate is arguably unmatched since Bill Russell.

Also, mere weeks before LeReturn, the Cavs pulled one of the biggest Draft Lottery heists in history, not only binking a #1 pick they had a 1.7% chance at, but then flipping it for Kevin Love. How many times in NBA history has a team - already with an All-Star - added the league's best player plus a third All-Star in one month for absolutely nothing?

What Lies Beneath
It's not like the rest of the NBA is completely lost. While playoff stalwarts like the Clippers and Grizzlies are at an awkward crossroads, plenty of franchises have bright visions for the future after this historic rivalry plays out.

The recently-eliminated Wizards have a young star-studded backcourt and the NBA's best center openly talking about joining them. The Raptors have assets & youth to re-tool while staying competitive, something the Celtics are already doing patiently. The Bucks have a great young core and a future MVP. The Jazz will be an emerging threat if they keep Gordon Hayward. The Spurs will be OK because, well, they're the Spurs. Even a franchise like the Sixers could be excited if Joel Embiid wasn't such a massive injury risk, and Bryan Colangelo wasn't running their team.

There's plenty of competition and parity waiting in the wings, some intentionally delaying their rise to outlast the peaks of the seemingly-unbeatable Warriors and Cavs. When their icy grip on supremacy inevitably melts, the water underneath is far from settled.

Superteams Are Nothing New
And while two teams dominating the league this thoroughly is something we've yet to see, the concept of teams being this stacked with talent dates all the way back to the Lakers of the late 60s when Wilt Chamberlain, Elgin Baylor and Jerry West - three of the consensus 15 best players ever - shared a locker room. Since that time (and really before it too), most championship teams have been similarly loaded with Hall-of-Famers in or close to their primes:

-'70 & '73 Knicks: Walt Frazier, Willis Reed, Dave DeBusschere
-'70s Celtics: John Havlicek, Dave Cowens, Jo Jo White
- 80's Celtics: Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Robert Parish, Dennis Johnson
- Showtime Lakers: Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, James Worthy
- Bad Boys Pistons: Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Dennis Rodman
- 90s Bulls: Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman
- Popovich Spurs: Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili/Kawhi Leonard/David Robinson
- Ubuntu Celtics: Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen
- Banana Boat Heat: LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh
- 2015 Warriors: Steph Curry, Draymond Green, (likely) Klay Thompson
- 2016 Cavs: LeBron James, (likely) Kyrie Irving & Kevin Love

Counting whoever wins in 2017, these teams will have combined for 30 of the 50 NBA titles since the Celtics reeled off eight straight. An additional nine ('06 Heat, '00-'02 Lakers, '91-'93 Bulls, '83 Sixers and '71 Bucks) saw two Top-50 all-time players join forces at or near the height of their powers. Simply put, basketball is a star-driven sport, and the vast majority of title winners have had to top-load their rosters accordingly. That the Warriors and Cavs have had to up the ante under highly anomalous circumstances shouldn't be cause for long-term concern.

LeBron won't be this good forever, nor will the Warriors - or any franchise - be able to pay for such a team much longer. The lack of suspense plaguing this year's playoffs hurts now no doubt, but should hardly be seen as a threat to the NBA's burgeoning global dominance.

Yes, in a two-month vacuum, Golden State and Cleveland have likely had a detrimental effect on the NBA's overall appeal. But with eyes on the big picture - once variance rights parity from this schism askew - this stretch of painfully predictable basketball will seem like a harmless blemish.

Playoff Hot Takes!

As we meander towards what looks like an increasingly inevitable Warriors-Cavs rubber match, the playoffs have been developing somewhat predictably:

- The Jazz pulled off the only first-round upset
- Russell Westbrook Westbrook'd himself out in the first round
- The Raptors are playing inconsistently
- Gregg Popovich is the adjustment master
- The Celtics and Wizards might kill each other before the series is decided
- Rob Hennigan got fired
- As expected, a team looks unbeatable in each conference

Despite its seemingly predestined result, there are still a few noteworthy things developing in these playoffs - a few random thoughts:

The Clippers Are Cursed

It just seems unfair at this point.

Years upon years of trash basketball; the franchise run in reprehensible manner by a notorious bigot. When they drafted a franchise guy in Blake Griffin, and were gifted Chris Paul (I use that term literally), there was finally reason to hope for this team. A few years later they ousted Donald Sterling and brought in a coach with a championship pedigree; the pieces were falling into place.

Little did the Clippers know, they were just setting themselves up for disappointment in larger moments. The franchise is still yet to make its first West Finals, pulling an incomprehensible meltdown the one time they seemed headed there. A combination of injuries and indifference have betrayed them annually, not to mention that GM Doc Rivers is nowhere near the same level as Coach Doc Rivers.

LAC heads into what is likely the most crucial offseason in the NBA. The writing seems to be on the wall in bold font that this roster core has run its course. Not only is their own fate in serious flux, but the potential repercussions - a departure of Paul, Griffin or JJ Redick - could alter the league's power balance, perhaps significantly.

So Is This Jazz Team
Not that they were beating the Warriors anyway, but was it too much for Utah to ask that they gauge their playoff ceiling at full strength? Obviously yes. After another injury-riddled regular season, they lost both Rudy Gobert and Gordon Hayward briefly in the first round, and now George Hill against Golden State.

If Hayward bolts this summer (something that very well could happen), we'll be forced to wonder if this team's accomplishments at anywhere near normal health would've been too much to walk away from.

Only Playoff Rondo Can Stop Playoff Rondo
Raise your hand if, at any point in the past three years, you thought that Rajon Rondo's absence could swing a playoff series.

It's no coincidence that the Bulls nosedove as soon as he broke his thumb, unable to soul-read Brad Stevens any longer. After a regular season that bordered on absurdity at times, Chicago is left with a very big playoff "What If", potentially joining a small handful of teams to pull off the 8 vs 1 upset.

Of course Rondo's injury perhaps has given way to other greatness:

Isaiah Thomas is a Superhero
There's really no other way to describe the guy. First off, he's 5-foot-fucking-9, a half-inch shorter than the average american male. Being that small and challenging the World's tallest athletes as unfettered as he does is heroic in its own right.

But more to the point, the guy transcended an unspeakable personal tragedy, got his mouth demolished, and then dropped a historic game that stands out among Boston's historic array of historic games.

While he mourned, a sad number of people inappropriately critiqued his decision to play; to stick by a team that would surely be burnt toast without him. His response has been pure 🔥🔥🔥.

Dwane Casey's Glue Factory Grade
I've been of the not-so-small school for Casey's replacement since the Wizards full-palm slapped Toronto in 2015's first round. Since then, he's oscillated between Coach of the Year contender and thin-ice scrutiny magnet, seemingly doing just enough to not get himself fired.

Yes, the Raptors made the Eastern Conference Finals last year, but they really didn't win two series insofar as Indiana and Miami respectively, lost them. Their odds of returning there seem close to nil after Cleveland drop-kicked them in two straight games; Casey bringing panicked rotations and a seemingly unprepared team.

Casey is what he is: a good regular season coach. Toronto has proven themselves a good regular season team. If they're going to topple LeBron anytime soon - difficult as that may currently seem - they'll need someone else putting the pieces in play. The Raptors just too often seem to be performing below the sum of their parts. They have a good roster with a variety of looks, but Casey isn't great with lineups, or consistently getting the best from his guys - two playoff must-haves.

Kyle Lowry and Demar DeRozan seemingly never play well in the same playoff game. Patrick Patterson is misused. In a league where teams like Golden State, Houston and *cough* Cleveland are succeeding by spacing the floor and moving the ball, the Raptors ran a clogged offensive set and ranked dead last in assists per game this year.

It took the entire internet telling Casey to play Norman Powell against Milkwaukee for him to do so. It marked not only the turning point of that series, but the first time Casey hadn't been outcoached by his opponent in the playoffs. He promptly returned Powell to the bench vs Cleveland, and the same process occurred.

It won't be enough this time, a fitting metaphor for his time on Toronto's bench.

The Switch Has Flipped
Despite Casey's flaws as a coach, it's slightly unfair when you're pitted against a team dropping 119 ppg, while shooting 50% from beyond the arc.

Even through their defensive meltdown over the past few months, it seemed mostly as a "when" not "if" matter that the Cavs would channel a higher level and begin completely bushwhacking their way through the East. After a disconcerting Indiana series that easily could've gone six games, they've made the Raptors look like the Toon Squad's first half vs. the Monstars.

Small sample size be damned, the Cavs look like they've snapped out of it.


RIP GNG
As a Grizzlies fan, watching the first round was painfully bittersweet. 

The Spurs had swept Memphis in both of their last two playoff meetings; this one seemed destined for a third when Grindfather Tony Allen went down. But after "Take That For Data" went viral, Memphis put up the gulliest of fights, taking two from the Spurs, including an overtime thriller in what was likely Kawhi Leonard's best game ever. 

At the same time, it was merely a spirited final effort from a dying beast. The rugged, physical, underdogging Grit N Grind era that defined the Grizzlies through their rise to NBA prominence (endearing them deeply to the blue-collar city of Memphis) is dying out. Fiz Markee throwing Zach Randolph back into the starting lineup for one last run was a fitting touch. 

The truth is Memphis is too old, too unathletic, too shallow, and can't shoot well enough. They have holes fill, but they're financially strained after lighting $94 million on fire in giving it to Chandler Parsons. They'd ideally have younger, cheaper players waiting in the wings, but it's unclear if any of their prospects beyond JaMychal Green and perhaps James Ennis are ready for bigger roles. 

Roster changes seem almost imminent, and whether the tweaks are minor or major, they seem likely to be a shift away from Grit N Grind as the Grizzlies try and survive a changing climate. So a toast to GNG, it was a fun ride. 

Banter's 2015-16 NBA Preview: Part I - The East

It's that time again.

After months of baseball, tennis and televised darts, the NBA is returning in a blaze of glory. This season has the potential to be especially epic, and though I'm a die-hard fan who gets excited about anything basketball-related, we're truly blessed to be witnessing the NBA's current evolutionary epoch.

Not only is the talent in professional basketball absurdly stacked right now - a testament to the sport's exponential growth in popularity - but more refined training and conditioning have taken athleticism to new speeds and heights.

The game itself is growing rapidly as well; the advent of analytic stats, and revolutionary technology like SportVu have allowed us to understand basketball in ways never possible before, and for the game's best tacticians to use that knowledge to their advantage.

And all that talent is being put to use; front offices have undergone a rapid upgrade in overall intelligence in this era of the "NBA as a Business", and far fewer teams are lighting money on fire without coherent strategies. The result has been more fast-paced, polished, calculated, competitive team basketball. Unless you live in Philly, there's never been more to be excited about.

So with the preseason underway and Opening Night mere weeks beyond us, let's break down who's going to be doing what in the NBA this year, beginning with the East.

EAST STANDINGS: 

15- Philadelphia 76ers 
It must be awesome having Brett Brown's job. Can you plausibly imagine any scenario other than the current Sixers front office, in which the company mandate is to be shamelessly awful and you're paid millions of dollars to coach without any pressure to perform (other than, you know, not winning too many games) or job security issues? This is going on year three now guys. Your fans deserve better, and the rest of us are just getting bored.

14- Brooklyn Nets
Brooklyn limped into last year's playoffs almost by default, after the rest of the contenders for the East's final spot self-destructed for various reasons down the stretch. With several of those teams making noticeable offseason upgrades, the Nets lost four rotation players and pulled in... Andrea Bargnani? While Jarrett Jack may end up being an upgrade over the flaky Deron Williams, his move to a starting role stretched the Nets' bench thin. Shane Larkin will likely see most of the backup PG minutes, and though he showed flashes last season, he's no Jack. Brook Lopez is always a few steps away from a leg injury, and Joe Johnson's legitimately graying now. It's unclear how Brooklyn will embrace their imminent rebuild with no cap space or draft picks, but no matter your squad it's gonna be a long season in Gotham (to be continued shortly).


13- Orlando Magic
How this team managed to theoretically "win" the Dwight Howard trade and still hasn't cracked the playoffs in the East is completely beyond me. They've stockpiled a nice young core of talent, but still aren't winning, mostly because they can't defend anybody. Lineups with as many defensive leaks as Orlando (especially close to the hoop) need to be historically great offensively to succeed, and the Magic, well... aren't. Team Disneyland is loaded with upside and could make a playoff push but would likely need some help from a rival injury and a big leap from one of its young guards (after Vic Oladipo's growth curve more or less flat-lined last year). Scott Skiles is a large upgrade running the show, but they've been "a couple years away" for a couple years now, and it looks very likely like a couple more.

12- Detroit Pistons
The Pistons are a weirdly interesting bunch heading into this season. They're deeper than last year, and have a reasonable ceiling, but there's quite a few yellow flags around this team - two big ones in particular. The first is obviously that they lost their best player in the offseason. Greg Monroe leaves a large scoring void, and his absence will make it easier for defenses to key on Andre Drummond. The other is the perplexing thought of Reggie Jackson and Brandon Jennings co-existing in a backcourt on any level. Stranger things have happened, but if Stan Van pulls that off without any brawls or social media feuds it'll be impressive. There's potential for things to go either way here, but I feel like south (as in vacation in April) is where Detroit's headed.

11- New York Knicks
The Knicks will be a better team this year. They upgraded several positions in the offseason, and have a healthy Carmelo Anthony (in body, though perhaps not in mind). But when you were as putrid as the Knicks were last year, only dramatic turnarounds will equate to success, and they don't appear to be there yet. New York's fans shouldn't have expected a free agency jackpot; Robin Lopez and Arron Afflalo are nice lures for a franchise in the Knicks' state. Lopez instantly gives the Knicks a nice defensive presence inside after they foolishly dealt Tyson Chandler, and Afflalo can be a second or third-option type that New York's struggled to put around Melo since Amar'e Stoudemire's knees went all Ewing. And if this Porzingis kid gives them anything in year one, it's just icing on the cake.

10- Charlotte Hornets

The big brass coming out of Charlotte this summer was the pilfering of Nic Batum from the Blazers, and his apparent "bigger role" in the Hornets' offense. Coach Steve Clifford has suggested Batum as the "1st or 2nd" option on a team that already has Al Jefferson and Kemba Walker. The gamble is obviously in whether Batum's ready to take on such a role; a proposition I'm fairly confident will be a losing one. Batum's an overly-passive player whose biggest faults are his lack of primacy and inability to make defenders pay for mistakes. It surely won't be as disastrous as their last swingman acquisition; at-worst he's a uniquely versatile role-player (and a huge safety net with Michael Kidd-Gilchrist done for the year). But getting your hopes up about Batum being the answer might not be a healthy idea. I'd rather put stock in better post-Lance Stephenson cohesion and a more consistent Jefferson keeping the Hornets anywhere near the playoffs.

9- Boston Celtics
The Celtics were a walking anachronism last year; a team that by all logic should've tried to make the lottery, but was too well-coached to suck as much as the rest of the East. Then they made a trade for a guy who would become their best player down the stretch, and fumbled towards a tragic game of Red Rover with Kevin Love. The David Lee trade was a nice move, but not really enough to keep up with an Eastern Conference whose playoff picture suddenly isn't so pathetic anymore. Adding Amir Johnson on a short-term deal (and a relative bargain considering what Tristan Thompson has the Cavs up against) might prove redundant. Boston is now armed with a glut of depth at the 4/5 spots, and no clear starters, though lineup creativity has never been an issue for Brad Stevens. The Celtics seem to be stockpiling assets rather than building a team; there's a good chance that Danny Ainge blows some (or all) of this up while hoarding draft picks, so the Celtics might be (wisely) headed to the lotto this year.

8- Indiana Pacers
So they lost Roy Hibbert. Whatever. He was quickly becoming a proverbial "box of chocolates" (word to Sally Field) in which two-thirds of said chocolates were the crappy jam-filled ones. David West's departure is a blow to this team's toughness, leaving a void at power forward that hopefully someone other than the returning Paul George can fill. But getting George back - and Monta Ellis to boot - is a much-needed adrenaline shot to an offense that went full Bernie Lomax for much of last season. This prediction obviously hinges on George being in good health, but all signs point to that being the case. If he's anywhere close to his old self, PG and Ellis will aptly lead what last year was an often rudderless quest to put the ball in the hoop. The question is whether the Pacers can sustain their defensive identity without Hibbert, to which the answer should be yes.

7- Toronto Raptors

I like what the Raptors did this offseason. They were a woeful defensive unit last year and took steps to shore up their D without shaking the team's core. Corey Joseph and Bismack Biyombo will be large pluses for the second unit's resistance, and DeMarre Carroll upgrades their large wing defender (Terrence Ross) from an inconsistency to a strong point that can even match with the every-trendy 'stretch four'. Carroll's issue will be his ability to integrate into an offense that last season was the polar opposite of the Hawks's swing-heavy team harmony. Kyle Lowry and Demat DeRozan are ball-dominant stars; either they or Carroll will have to adjust for him be as effective as he was in ATL. This team is still relatively young, and has upside to spare if the pieces come together. Hopefully they - and coach Dwayne Casey - learned a thing or two about focus and toughness after the pistol-whipping Washington laid on them last spring. Speaking of the Wizard Party...

6- Washington Wizards
The Wizards basically stood pat this offseason, losing Paul Pierce to the Clippers and seemingly betting that Otto Porter is ready for a starter's role. Bradley Beal will happily accept the increased looks he's sure to get as a result. While John Wall continues to propel this team, it will be a leap from Beal - one that was curiously absent in his career arc last season - to take this team a notch higher. I'm willing to treat their post-All-Star meltdown as part growing pain, part anomaly; the Wizards should be more consistent this year. That said, the middle of the East playoff bracket is noticeably better this year, and "more consistent" isn't going to lift you with the tide.

5- Milwaukee Bucks
Welcome to team "What If" of the 2015-16 Eastern Conference. They're young and somewhat tough to gauge but the pieces are all here for a potential 'team leap'. First off they addressed their pitiful scoring by injecting Greg Monroe into the pivot, who immediately becomes their go-to guy. They'll also get Jabari Parker back, who should be (at worst) a good second-unit option once he's operational. Then figure in an increased role for John Henson; perhaps the NBA's most criminally under-utilized player last season, who the Bucks recently sunk $44 million into - presumably not to ride the pine. And then there's that Antetokounmpo kid, who could very easily take another large stride this season (pun completely intended), at which point the All-Star game would be in his sights. Basically, a lot of things would have to go wrong for the Bucks to not be a significantly better team this year; place bets accordingly.

4- Atlanta Hawks
There's no question that losing DeMarre Carroll hurts the Hawks. He was about as close to a perfect role player for Atlanta's system as you could ask for. This is a strong unit though, and they shouldn't be crippled by his departure. Millsap and Horford still form one of the NBA's best frontcourts. Jeff Teague is still a borderline-elite PG. They're still a lethal team from long-range (#Korver). Dennis Schroder is ready to make a larger impact, and upgrading from Pero Antic to Tiago Splitter is massive for their bench. They'll stumble, but not far.

3- Miami Heat

As if there was any doubt that a Pat Riley team would be on the mat for too long, the Heat have bounced back with a loaded lineup that will break the East's upper tier if healthy. Miami will pair Goran Dragic and Chris Bosh for the first time, allowing Dwyane Wade to play at a far more sustainable pace. Hassan Whiteside is a defensive monster providing elite, athletic rim protection even amid the more-than-occasional headache. Luol Deng is still a two-way horse and a guy any team would love to have as a fourth option. And that's just the starting lineup. They thieved Gerald Green and Amar'e Stoudemire with veteran's minimum deals, giving their bench instant scoring and a dose of whatever Amar'e has left. They also managed to parlay their near-playoff miss into Justise Winslow, who many pundits feel will go down as the steal of the 2015 Lottery. Add a dash of Josh McRoberts back to the lineup, and this is suddenly a pretty scary rotation if Whiteside doesn't cause an extinction-level event.

2- Chicago Bulls
In the wake of Tom Thibodeau's unceremonious departure from the Windy City, plenty has been made of the physical demands on his players, and the toll it took on their health records - particularly that of one Derrick Rose. With Thibs out the door, the Bulls should be more rested if nothing else this year, which may (probably) translate to being healthier. See, the Bulls weren't really at full strength at any point last year (or any long stretch of Thibs' tenure for that matter). And at full strength this a really fucking good basketball team. Give them the continuity factor (roster is virtually unchanged) and the freedom from Thibs' iron-fisted rule, and they're likely the best of the East's bridesmaids.

1- Cleveland Cavaliers

It happened in Miami the last time around; it's surprising that it was such a big deal when it happened in Cleveland. There was an awkward feeling-out period for three go-to superstars sharing the court; these things take time. But then it clicked, and the Cavs started crushing the East, something not even Kevin Love's injury could offset. Although the back-alley standoff with Tristan Thompson is still awkwardly marring their season preparations, it's highly likely Thompson will cave and negotiate after letting the mid-level exception expire, burning his "I can bolt next summer" leverage. But even without Thompson this is the East's best team - they lost two All-Stars and almost won the title for fuck's sake, And though several rivals should be stronger, it's doubtful they'll have enough to topple the Cavs.

That's it for Part I, stay tuned for Part II (The West) and Part III (The Hardware), dropping soon...

Golden State Indeed

...And just like that, another NBA season's over.

The conclusion was fitting, if not seemingly inevitable. The critically-wounded Cavaliers put up more of a fight than anyone thought was left in them, but the Golden State Warriors punctuated their season-long dominance with a Larry O.

It was the essence of a team effort; while it wasn't pretty at times (Cleveland forced them into some decidedly un-Warriors rhythm for large chunks of this series) the Dubs got contributions from all the right places, and proved once again the power of numbers.

These Finals were the ultimate testament to Golden State's versatility, something I've lauded all season long. They were like a poisonous chameleon, able to take on many deadly forms seamlessly. Give much credit to Steve Kerr for making all the right adjustments - knowing when to suffocate LeBron, going so small as to force the Cavs' destructive front line out of the lineup, clogging the paint on D and letting JR Smith and Matthew Dellevadova shoot the Cavs out of games, the David Lee Experience, the list goes on - he coached LeBron James David Blatt into the corner.

But while the Warriors ride off into the Moet-soaked sunset, the Cavs, and LeBron James (as he usually is) remain under the microscope. What happened in this series was very simple: the better team won, but the losing team came in (literally) without an arm and a leg. After LeBron's cinematic return to Cleveland, there was bound to be much said about their season either way, and now it's ended in the most bitter way imaginable. There's no telling how exactly a healthy Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving would've impacted this series (especially with Cleveland's defense being their sudden calling card), but for most of the Finals, four of the five best players on the court were Warriors.

The LeBron haters are coming out in droves to give him the Cersei treatment, like he just did something other than average 36/13/9 in the fucking NBA Finals. Give him, and me a break. Sure, his legacy in a vacuum is beginning to look like a cross between Jordan and Karl Malone, but nobody has ever won a title with as little talent as LBJ had around him the past couple weeks. Blaming him for losing in these Finals (even  if he was kind of a jackass about it) is completely ridiculous and unfair.


Another thing that seems pretty ridiculous is this whole notion of knocking LeBron (or any superstar for that matter) for 'losing' in the Finals. Even without a title, it's not like the season was a massive disappointment, or that he didn't totally put the team on his back. I get that it's in the East and all, but five straight trips to the Finals is something I think should be celebrated rather than "shame"d.

But enough about LeBron. Much as it was last year, this shouldn't be about him, but about the awesome team that just beat him. There's so much to be happy for with the Warriors:

Steph Curry is not only the MVP, but the NBA's burgeoning media darling and arguably most exciting player, and now a champion. This is the perfect moment for him. (a Finals MVP would've been a nice touch, but an unnecessary one. That said, it's shocking that he didn't even get a single vote).

Andre Iguodala humbly took a bench role for the first time in his career, and now he's a Finals MVP (!!!).

Steve Kerr proved how great of a hire he was, got rewarded for wisely choosing the Warriors over the Knicks last summer, and won as graciously as possible.

While Draymond Green isn't the most gracious player at times, he's certainly among the most hard-working, hilarious, and likable. And now he's got a ring to back up the talk; #swagonfleek.

Shaun Livingston battled back from one of the most injury-ravaged careers in NBA history to be a vital bench contributor for this team. After the Dubs' backup PG spot was a major issue last season, Livingston was a steady veteran presence, and one of the most deserving champions imaginable. (side note: while the Warriors were best team in the NBA this year, they were also unequivocally the healthiest)

And if you aren't happy for Festus 'The Court Fester' Ezeli, then screw you. Straight up.

The 2014-15 Warriors were a landmark NBA team; one that thrived on both sides of the ball, could play big or small, and gave teams problems in every permutation. They spent the entire season running roughshod through the league, blowing out opponents with stunning basketball and demoralizing flair. We wondered all year if anyone could stop them; apparently not even the "best player in the World" was enough.

The Start of Something Good

I usually try and avoid writing too much at the beginning of the NBA Season for 3 reasons that all stem from the same root - the small sample size of games we've seen:

1. Opinions and analysis are fickle and changing at an NFL-like rate
2. It's much harder to make educated observations and not use terms like "so far" and "it seems"
3. Many assertions are totally liable to turn upside-down and make me sound like an idiot

That said, with nearly a month gone by in the season, and 10+ games for all teams, we're beginning to see what trends are emerging with serious traction, and will play a relevant role in how this season plays out. The good news for NBA junkies is that most of it points to this season being one of heavy competition - at least outside of Philadelphia, which is where I begin my rants about some of the things that have stood out to me this season:

The Sixers are Historically Awful
Philadelphia was clearly shook after gracefully losing 26 straight games last year and not getting the Draft's top pick, or even a guy who'd play his rookie season for the second straight year. So they gutted their roster even further and now pose a very realistic threat at breaking the NBA's all-time mark for the worst single-season record at 9-73 - also held by the Sixers.

I don't like using my own NBA knowledge as a benchmark for a team's relevance, but have to in this case. I know very little about most of Philadelphia's roster (and don't feel compelled to since most of them will be out of the league soon enough) which says a thing or two about just what they're fielding this season. I take Michael Carter Williams' open letter at face value; they are  trying, it's just that their talent level is woefully outmatched by every other team in the league.

This roster's worse than the one the the that preceded it, and unfortunately for the Sixers (or perhaps fortunately for their clear motives) there aren't two handfuls of teams chasing Lotto balls this year, which makes for far fewer winnable games.


The Kings are This Year's Suns (Or are the Pelicans?)
Last night's NBA slate saw an intriguing encounter between two West upstarts seeking to break onto the Playoff scene. One of them was highly probably to ascend the conference's stiff hierarchy this year, while the other has instantly vaulted itself from lottery doormat to early-season powerhouse.

Let's settle something quickly: the Sacramento Kings aren't as good as the season's first couple of weeks suggested. Granted, they beat up on some tough competition, but have shown cracks in their consistency over the past few games, allowing New Orleans to overwhelm them offensively in last night's third quarter, while themselves losing their offensive rhythm and playing sloppy, turnover-prone ball. The same sort of meltdown cost them a seemingly-inevitable W against Memphis last week. They should be in the mix for a lower-tier Playoff spot however, with both their team defense and ball movement having improved noticeably from last year, and DeMarcus Cousins playing like a can't-miss All Star.

New Orleans will also contend for the postseason barring a serious injury. Their roster is undeniably shallow, but they field a killer 7/8-man rotation that can contort to pretty much any size opposition, and score at absurd rates when they're all clicking (and Tyreke Evans isn't in pseudo-LeBron mode). Which brings us to:

Anthony Davis Probably Isn't Human
Quick question: Who holds the NBA's all-time record for single-season PER?

You'll have to go diggin' in the crates for the answer, all the way back to Wilt Chamberlain's 1962-63 season: a PER of 31.82. For the record, he averaged 45 points & 24 rebounds per game that year.

He's closely followed by a slew of seasons in the 31 PER range by somewhat-notable names like Michael Jordan. LeBron James, and Shaquille O'Neal. Kevin Garnett's best season was a 29.44, Dirk Nowitzki's a 28.06, and Tim Duncan's a 27.06.

Keep that in mind when noting that 21-year-old Anthony Davis is currently on pace for a PER of 36.16, or in basic English, the most efficiently dominant NBA season in history by a considerably wide margin. 

The Thunder Are In Trouble
My title here was going to be "Thunder Can't Catch a Break" but that would just be, as politically-correct people say, 'too soon'.

Two broken bones - one in Kevin Durant's foot, the other in Russell Westbrook's hand - have put OKC's season in serious turmoil, as their offensively-challenged teammates struggle to keep pace in the meantime. Even Perry Jones couldn't stay on the floor once he emerged as the unlikeliest of point-producers.

Whether you want to blame God, Lil' B, or some Sonics fan with a Clay Bennett voodoo doll, the Thunder are suddenly in a deep hole when you consider how competitive the West has become. Last year, in a nightmare conference that was still softer than this year's version, the 8th seeded Mavs lost 33 games. By that loose standard (which should be give-or-take about this year's mark), OKC will currently have to win 65% of its remaining games just to make the Playoffs.

That number will only amplify the more they dip beneath .500 with fewer games remaining. Westbrook is still around two weeks away from returning, and there's been a conspicuous lack of updates surrounding Durant's progress. Any delays to their rehab, or extended periods of acclimation, will likely sink the Thunder's season.


David Lee Should be Dealt
A lot has been made about the Warriors' roaring start to this season, particularly their having been able to do so 'without David Lee'. Well, allow me to posit another take on things: The Warriors are better 'without David Lee'.

Golden State's M.O. is pretty clear: They're a strong defensive team who relies more offensively on floor-spacing and wing scoring than any other roster. A truly strong defensive  team is a lot like a Greek phalanx, with each part protecting not only itself, but another; one glitch in the armor exposes the whole unit. The Warriors already field one "glitch" in Steph Curry, who gambles too much and is bullied by bigger guards. In addition, Lee - rebounding aside - is, by some metrics, the very worst post defender in the NBA. That's 40% of your 'strong defensive team''s starting lineup being somewhere between "sketchy" and "complete fucking liability" on defense.

Meanwhile, Lee's replacements - Marreese Speights, and lots of small-ball sets with Draymond Green and Harrison Barnes - have provided the Warriors with more toughness and mobility on D, and better offensive spacing; they patch up Lee's gaping defensive shortcomings while conforming to the team's scoring M.O. This is to say that Lee's net detriment to the Dubs' defense is greater than his marginal benefit on offense. It's pure addition by subtraction; we saw it in 2013 when they over-performed without him in the Playoffs, and we're seeing it again now. It should become an issue when Lee makes his return.

The Concern About Cleveland was Misplaced
First of all, the obvious: Cleveland is absolutely abhorrent defensively. Everyone suspected as much with their leaks at PG and PF and no semblance of a post-bound rim protector, but the results have been rock-bottom. Their 104 oppg is the worst mark of any likely Playoff team, and their offense hasn't yet reached the consistent level of omnipotence it was pegged for (though since their six-assist game it's definitely turned a corner).

But there's room for this figure to improve: first, the Cavs have faced an inordinately high number of good offensive teams; only two of their opponents so far (Utah, and of course, the Knicks) rank in the League's bottom half scoring-wise. Second, their poor team defense should improve marginally over time, not only in welcoming back Matthew Dellavedova (by far their best-defending guard), but becoming more accustomed to each others' habits and deficiencies. Third, Cleveland holds a valuable trade exception, which will almost certainly be used to pilfer a rim protector from one of the many teams hoarding cap space like food before a nuclear holocaust.

The real problem: Cleveland is relying far too heavily on its Big 3, who presently rank 3rd, 4th, and 5th in minutes per game. This is bad for a number of reasons; not only does it make Cleveland more of a static roster that doesn't conform well to mismatches, but it obviously puts them an injury away from serious issues (see: Thunder, Oklahoma City). More damning, it wears down their stars for an expected Playoff run, which is terrible news since a) LeBron has more miles on his body in the last decade than anyone in the NBA and, b) Neither Irving nor Love has ever been to the Playoffs, and have no concept of saving something in the tank for the postseason grind.

How 'Bout Them Grizzlies?!?!
And then there were my beloved Grizzlies, atop the West at 10-1 after a miraculous comeback against the Kings, and total ass-kicking of Houston in a battle of the West's best. This comes as a surprise to many, but not necessarily myself, all bias aside.

Memphis was saddled by injury for most of last season, missing Tony Allen and two-way beast Marc Gasol for large chunks of the regular season. When healthy, they sported one of the West's best records, and then came within a Zach Randolph suspension hair of knocking off the Thunder in the first round.

This year they return the same suffocating defense, only with an added boost on offense, not only from the continuity of a revitalized Courtney Lee (a midseason addition last year), but the arrival of Vince Carter, who suddenly actually plays defense. As a plus, Mike Conley's becoming ever-more proficient as a scorer-distributor, and Allen's made up for his critical lack of shooting and ballhandling by becoming one of the NBA's best guards at moving without the ball, whether it be well-timed screens, or back-door cuts on sleeping defenders. This overall attack has made it much harder for opposing defenses to sag down on Gasol and Randolph in the post, which used to be an easy foil for the Grizzlies' offense (anyone who watched the 2013 West Finals knows this all too well).

So for those of you who seem to think another team is destined to rise to the West's penthouse, be warned that it won't be an easy entry. Whether it's the Warriors, Clippers, Spurs, or eventually Thunder who come knocking, this is a different iteration of the Grizzlies; a much more capable two-way team, and one who will play with a constant chip on its shoulder, in one of the NBA's most uninviting home arenas. I'm not prepared to call Memphis the West's undisputed best team, but if they're still here in April, don't act surprised.

Banter's 2014-15 NBA Preview

"Guess who's back in the muthafuckin' house..."


What's up everyone, hope your summer went better than Paul George's.

Banter took another prolonged sabbatical this offseason as I helped open up a restaurant and was otherwise heavily devoted to my traditional summer routine of Beer-BQs, cottage parties, Floatie Nation, and aggressive patio-surfing.

But as it tends to in Canada, the weather's grown crappier of late, conveniently coinciding with the buildup to an event I fiend for like a hyperactive child does Christmas morning: the start of the NBA Season. Pro basketball's return is a perfect excuse for me to me to spend more time inside, avoiding the eventual snow, wind and -20 abyss, while binge-watching League Pass like a perpetual Netflix series.

The NBA has its own prime-time drama's worth of compelling storylines this year; from LeBron's "Return" to KD's sudden injury (#BasedGodCurse), D-Rose's latest comeback, a loaded rookie class, and the Zen Master's attempt to rescue the New York Knicks. Anthony Davis will continue evolving into a MUTO, James Harden's defense will continue amusing us, and we'll be served up steady script material for the inevitable Kobe-Nick Young buddy comedy. We'll get to devise some "Lob City"-ish nickname for the T-Wolves, sweat a Western Conference that's somehow even more competitive than last year's, and rejoice that the Charlotte Hornets - albeit minus the pinstriped teal - exist again. Not to mention there's a wide-open race for the Larry O; the Spurs have plenty of hungry foes aiming for the crown.

So what can we expect amid all the excitement? Here's Banter's preview, starting with the Top 9 Bold Predictions for 2014-15:

DISCLAIMER: As Grantland tends to do, they beat me to the punch with a recent article that makes predictions about every possible angle of the upcoming season (33 in all). Unavoidably, some of their thought processes overlap with mine, but their logic did nothing to influence what you're about to read. Every prediction I've made here was drafted before their article was published. 

9. Dwyane Wade will begin unraveling

I placed this so low because it's sort of already started happening, but I see the next few months as the beginning of the end. Wade's played his career with the reckless abandon of an NFL running back, and as I'd seen coming miles away, the strain caught up with him sooner than any Heat "fan" had hoped. Even as LeBron's second fiddle last year, he was only effective when rested, and wore down disturbingly quickly as the Playoff intensity took its toll.

So what's to be of him now that the best player alive is no longer his running mate? He won't be able to take as many games off, and will be counted on more and more each night for Miami to remain competitive, increasing the demands on his body. He'll turn 33 before the All-Star break, and age is a much greater factor for someone with Wade's checkered injury history. There's several factors working against him concurrently; all added up, it could spell the untimely demise of a truly special player.


8. The Raptors will continue to rise

Being a Canadian, I by default hear more about the Raptors than just about any NBA team, especially now that they're finally relevant on the league-wide scene. I've faced many questions about whether they've plateaued with this roster, or whether they'll improve, and I'm highly convinced that their ceiling hasn't been reached for several reasons:

1) They'll benefit from the continuity of bringing back an almost identical rotation (swapping Lou Williams in for John Salmons is hardly a crucial shift). 2) They'll be playing with more of a purpose; an experienced squad looking to avenge a bitter playoff upset, rather than riding a momentum wave as a surprise overachiever. And most importantly; 3) With the exception of Kyle Lowry (who's never played better basketball), their whole roster still undeniably has growth and improvement to realize before hitting their prime.

They're young, they're hungry, and while we can't expect Toronto to finish any higher in the East (with the Conference's top 4-5 teams becoming much better overall), there's no reason the Raptors shouldn't be rising with the tide.


7. In-season job security among NBA head coaches will remain record-high

Last season's startlingly-low total of one axed coach leveled off this summer when more bodies hit the floor than the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan. Looking around the NBA, there doesn't appear to be many coaches left on the proverbial "hot seat". As noted above, many teams - the Knicks, Warriors, Nets, Bucks, Jazz, Cavs, Pistons and Lakers - have undergone coaching changes since April, meaning their new guys will get a fair bit of patience.

Elsewhere, there's plenty of coaches who will never, ever be fired (Pop, Thibs, etc), are doing very well in new roles (Jeff Hornacek, Mike Bundeholzer, Steve Clifford), recently survived a front-office shredding (Dave Jeorger), have the co-sign from rebuilding franchises (Brett Brown, Brad Stevens) or who probably would've been fired already if it were going to happen (Kevin McHale, Frank Vogel, Scott Brooks). So sleep easy, NBA coaches, there probably won't be many of you getting canned this season.

6. The Trade Deadline will be a dud again
Perhaps the dominant theme from this summer was the notion that the Free Agency period has almost become its own season, engulfing the trade market and making (most) teams far less anxious to pull the trigger on mid-season deals. That trend is almost certainly going to amplify in the coming months.

Thanks to the NBA's new multi-quadrillion-dollar TV deal,  the salary cap (as currently projected) will undergo far-and-away its biggest single-year increase in history next summer, giving almost every team cap room, and leading any player with wiggle room in his contract to opt out and cash in. The market is going to be absolutely ridiculous next July, so while a few contenders might be looking to tweak their lineups come February, the vast majority of teams will be biding their time and slow-playing their hands.

5. Rajon Rondo will be traded to the Houston Rockets

First off: Rondo's gonna get dealt this year, don't kid yourself. His recent trade request is the final nail in a coffin Danny Ainge had been slowly building for the past few seasons by dangling him at every opportunity. Rondo's injury last season (resulting in a temporary trade value dip) is probably the only reason he's still a Celtic. With Kevin Love off the trade slate, Rondo is the lone All-Star who's openly available right now, and if he's going to be traded (which he is) Houston is the most logical destination.

Not only do the Rockets fancy themselves contenders (though they currently have no chance in hell of even making it out of the Playoffs' first round), but they just took a step back this offseason, that included whiffing on several would-be star signings. They must be feeling somewhat desperate right now, and have enough assets to cobble together an attractive offer for Boston (something like Pat Beverley, Terrence Jones, a few of the shitload of draft picks they have stashed, and cash). They also have one of the most ballsy and persistent GMs in the NBA; they'll pursue this. Pairing Rondo with James Harden and Dwight Howard also makes sense on paper; a versatile PG who can quell Harden's shitty defense without depleting his shot count, and has a dangerous penetrate-and-kick game that fits Morey's "key or three" model very well.

4. The Indiana Pacers will miss the Playoffs; it won't even really be close

Toss up: what was the uglier tumble, Paul George's gruesome crash landing into a basket support, or the fall from grace Indiana's been in the midst of since last February? Already mired in an identity crisis that ruined last season, the reigning #1 seed lost George and Lance Stephenson, and will field easily the weakest offensive squad in the NBA this season.

This team will be comically terrible in its efforts to score; David West is their only consistent threat, and defense-belying Rodney Stuckey will likely see heavy minutes just to keep them afloat. Roy Hibbert can't be counted on, George Hill's unproven as a score-first guard, and Luis Scola was basically a Walking Dead extra for most of last year. Even if Chris Copeland comes out on some PED shit, it's going to be a painfully dull season in Indiana.

3. The Knicks' revival will get off to a slow start

Much like the Pacers will struggle to score, the Knicks will struggle to prevent their opponents from doing it to them at will. New York was atrocious defensively last season, and of course, addressed the problem by trading their former DPOY for a center with positioning A.D.D (Sam Dalembert), and one of the two or three worst defensive point guards in the NBA (Jose Calderon). Surround them with guys like JR Smith, Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire (who've never been committed defenders), and Andrea Bargnani (not even going there), and there's no hope of them stopping anyone. Iman Shumpert can't do it all by himself. The Zen Master's rebuild looks more like a 2-3 year plan.

2. Anthony Davis will come very close to winning the MVP

There's a perfect storm of momentum drumming up this year that will almost lift Davis to the game's most exalted individual honor. First off, he's really fucking good, and getting better every month; he's going to absolutely wreck shit on both sides of the ball this year. Second, the Pelicans are going to be better than anyone thinks; they'll win 45+ games and are a rival injury away from being a Playoff Team in the West. Third, and I hate using this excuse because it shouldn't be valid, but there will inevitably be a wave of boredom bias from media who are tired of the LeBron vs. KD debate, and will look to inject new blood into the MVP race. As we all know, some of the voters aren't exactly the most enlightened minds, and will get swept up the hoopla regardless of how deserving Davis may be. It probably won't be enough to tip the scales, but it's gonna be damn close. 

1. The Spurs will repeat
More on this in a second...

EAST STANDINGS                                       WEST STANDINGS
1. Chicago Bulls                                                1. San Antonio Spurs
2. Cleveland Cavaliers                                      2. Los Angeles Clippers
3. Washington Wizards                                     3. Oklahoma City Thunder
4. Toronto Raptors                                            4. Memphis Grizzlies
5. Charlotte Hornets                                          5. Golden State Warriors
6. Miami Heat                                                   6. Portland Trail Blazers
7. Brooklyn Nets                                               7. Houston Rockets
8. Atlanta Hawks                                               8. Dallas Mavericks
9. Detroit Pistons                                               9. New Orleans Pelicans
10. New York Knicks                                       10. Phoenix Suns
11. Indiana Pacers                                             11. Denver Nuggets
12. Orlando Magic                                            12. Los Angeles Lakers
13. Boston Celtics                                             13. Minnesota Timberwolves
14. Milwaukee Bucks                                       14. Sacramento Kings
15. Philadelphia 76ers                                       15. Utah Jazz

East Finals: Cavs over Bulls                           West Finals: Spurs over Thunder

Rookie of the Year: Jabari Parker
This one's a no-brainer. Easily the most NBA-ready rookie in terms of skill set and polish, Parker gets dumped on a decrepit roster (especially on offense) where he'll be the undisputed man. He's a heavy favorite for this award, and anyone who tells you otherwise is either being a contrarian or experiencing a mild seizure.
Contenders: Marcus Smart, Andrew Wiggins, Nerlens Noel 

Defensive Player of the Year: Anthony Davis

As mentioned above, Davis is growing more into his immeasurable potential seemingly by the game. Watching his evolution is truly special (or terrifying if you're affiliated with any of the other 29 teams); he grasps such vast aspects of basketball stupidly quick, and shifts between them seamlessly like he's just discovered a cheat code in a video game. His specialty of course is making life hell for opposing offenses pretty much anywhere inside the arc. With Omer Asik now patrolling the low post, Davis is going get an absolutely mind-numbing amount of weak-side blocks this year, and many more off the lost fools who try to actually score on him. We're likely looking at the highest stocks average (word to Bill Simmons) since Hakeem the Dream, and for that, the Brow gets the DPOY.
Contenders: Joakim Noah, Serge Ibaka, LeBron James

Sixth Man of the Year: Isaiah Thomas
Now that the Suns finally came to their senses and paid Eric Bledsoe, Thomas figures to be a highly over-qualified backup as the third "starting" point guard on their roster. Though he's drastically under-sized and will only see minutes at the true PG spot, he's bound to work his way into a bunch of quirky Jeff Hornacek lineups, where he'll be an instant dose of scoring on a high-octane roster. So long as he and Dragic don't share the floor for extended stretches against attacking two guards (and there's fewer of them today than there's ever been in the NBA), it shouldn't be hard to make this odd PGx3 rotation work in the Suns' favor.
Contenders: Jamal Crawford, Pau Gasol/Taj Gibson, whichever Pelican winds up not starting

Coach of the Year: David Blatt
I always love (read: fucking hate) trying to predict this award because it's so subjective and results-oriented that picking someone this far in advance is a general waste of time. Usually, it goes to a coach who overcame a serious hurdle to have a successful season, over-performed greatly, or - as was the case last year - was so clearly head-and-shoulders above the competition that he had to be crowned. Gregg Popovich's much-deserved love-fest hit its apex with their much-lauded Finals romp last June; it seems pretty unlikely that he'll repeat while still basking in the afterglow of his finest hour. So I'm putting my money on David Blatt, because Cleveland's going to be very good, and anyone - LeBron or no LeBron - will look good filling Mike Brown's shoes.
Contenders: Tom Thibodeau, Stan Van Gundy, Rick Carlisle

Most Improved Player: Giannis Antetokounmpo
This is the year he makes a huge leap. He's got a full season of NBA play and conditioning under his belt, has figured out a fair deal about his capabilities, can focus on games instead of answering a zillion stupid questions about his hand size and his name's pronunciation, and has just been handed the keys to his team's starting PG spot by one of the position's all-time greats. The sky's the limit for a kid with such gazelle-like athleticism and diverse skill set, and 2014-15 should see it all come together.
Contenders: Anthony Bennett, Terrence Jones, Victor Oladipo

Most Valuable Player: LeBron James 
1. He's the best player alive.
2. Everyone and their grandma's back on his nuts after he came back to Cleveland.
3. The Cavs might have some adjustment issues at first, but are still a mortal lock for a top-2 seed in the suddenly-not-so-pitiful East.
4. Kevin Durant's going to miss the season's first month+ and will be shaking off his foot injury for the next few weeks after that.
5. Anthony Davis - explosion of momentum and dominance aside - isn't quite there yet.
6. I have as good a chance of winning this award as any remaining NBA player.
Contenders: Anthony Davis, Kevin Durant

All-Rookie Teams
First:  G-Marcus Smart, G-Andrew Wiggins, F-Jabari Parker, F-Aaron Gordon, C-Nerlens Noel
Second: G- Nik Stauskas, G-Rodney Hood, F-Doug McDermott, F-Adreian Payne, C-Mitch McGary

All-Defense Teams
First: G-Chris Paul, G-Tony Allen, F-Anthony Davis, F-Serge Ibaka, C-Joakim Noah
Second: G-Mike Conley, G-Kyle Lowry, F-LeBron James, F-Kawhi Leonard, C-Marc Gasol

All-NBA Teams
First: G-Chris Paul, G-Russell Westbrook, F-LeBron James, F-Anthony Davis, C-Dwight Howard
Second: G-Steph Curry, G-James Harden, F-Kevin Durant, F-LaMarcus Aldridge, C-Marc Gasol
Third: G-Damian Lillard, G-Bradley Beal, F-Carmelo Anthony, F-Blake Griffin, C-Al Jefferson

NBA Champions: San Antonio Spurs

And, I mean, why bet against them? They have by far the best coach in the NBA, by far the deepest and most cohesive team unit, and by far the most experience down the stretch of the Playoffs. Through a combination of magic elixirs and Pop's playing-time constraints, they've combated the aging of their stars flawlessly. Their reigning Finals MVP is a timid giant-killer who's only scratching the surface of consistent dominance. And they'll be playing with plenty of motivation to send Timmy D off into the sunset with a title in what's surely his last NBA season.

Cleveland may get it together (though they're going to suffer heavily on defense), Chicago may hold it together (though a lot is going to depend on D-Rose's shaky knees and rusty jumper), the Thunder will no doubt dump Kendrick Perkins' expiring deal at the Deadline for a useful upgrade, and the Clippers might be a viable threat this year without the Sterling Saga distracting them at the worst possible time. But for now, I see the Spurs as the team to beat, and look forward to having a team prove me wrong, because anyone who beats this team over seven games will truly deserve the title.

Here's to another awesome NBA season.

Time Capsule 2014

The NBA is a relative newcomer to the realm of big-league professional sports.

Vs. its direct competition - the NHL, NFL and MLB - it debuted decades later, delaying the process of building a fanbase. Said process was further inhibited by a multitude of issues through its formative years; everything from the league's poor decision-making and the rival ABA's emergence, to drugs, brawling, and greater, longer-lasting racism bias from the public than in any other sport.The Playoffs weren't even broadcast live until the 80's; it wasn't exactly successful at times.

As a result, there's a large gap between today's generation and the NBA's past. Not only did the league's infrastructure not allow for much preservation of its history, but its presence didn't resonate as much culturally; society as a whole wasn't as connected to it. Both in artifact and anecdote, there's relatively little by which to remember the Old School.

Jump in the DeLorean for a few decades - both the NBA and technological ubiquity have taken a Hodor-sized growth spurt, creating a contrasting predicament: Suddenly, everything is caught on camera - whether those of TV stations, media foot-soldiers, or some dude with an iPhone outside IHOP at 3am. The noteworthy moments have been diluted by an onslaught of peripheral distraction. There's so much by which to remember the "New School" that it's nearly impossible to take it all in.

It's hard to tell at this point how future generations will remember the 2013-14 NBA Season; in what ways the passing years will distort what now are very vivid memories. Thanks to the internet, we're assured that these moments won't be lost, but in today's age where instant information from countless sources changes perspectives so rapidly, they could just as easily be buried and forgotten.

With this season fresh in the rear-view mirror, let's take a look back at the people, things, and ideas that stood out among all the fluff in 2014; filling up a hypothetical time capsule with what to remember the NBA by this year:

- a pair of KD VIs
Kevin durant left his mark all over the regular season, somehow adding another layer to his dominance as a scorer, while also taking his defense and especially playmaking to new heights. With Russell Westbrook down, he kept OKC at or near the top of one of the most competitive conferences ever all year. In a season when the MVP was LeBron's to lose, Durant grabbed it decisively and then re-wrote the book on awards speeches. A return to the Finals eluded him this year, but it's only a matter of time for this guy. He's that good.

(He needs a post-up game though, and that's another story, but speaking of which:)

- a copy of the April 30, 2014 edition of the Oklahoman

- Doc Rivers' vocal cords 
Rivers was a massive influence in his first year on the bench for the Clippers - helping to usher in seasons of vast improvement for both Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan - with whom he wore out his signature hoarse voice regularly. You can assume he also may have yelled at someone when he found out Paul George (apparently his daughter's boyfriend) got a stripper pregnant on the side.

- Derrick Rose's knee braces
Rose's supposed year of redemption got put on hold again, when his meniscus snapped 10 games into his much-anticipated return from ACL rehab. Shelved again for the season, he joined the already-injured Rajon Rondo in setting an unfortunate trend that plagued NBA one-guards this year: Steve Nash, Russell Westbrook, Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Jrue Holiday, Eric Bledsoe, Kemba Walker, and even heir apparents Trey Burke and Michael Carter-Williams were all stung by the injury bug this year.

- a bank statement in the name of Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo, showing frequent transactions at Carl's Jr. in excess of $100, between the hours of 12 and 6 am.

- a copy of Donald Sterling's Anderson Cooper interview
Because it really sums up all you need to know about this situation. Thank God Adam Silver the NBA's done with him. (OK so maybe not entirely done...)

- Luis Scola's hairband, coupled with a signed Andrew Bynum Pacers jersey
It doesn't happen too often that a single trade defines a season for both teams involved, or that Larry Bird looks like an idiot, but sure enough it all happened when his Pacers gave the Phoenix Suns Gerald Green, Miles Plumlee, and a draft pick for Luis Scola.

At the time, the trade seemed like a sage move, giving up two players who didn't fit into Indiana's scheme, for a guy who'd ostensibly help bolster their pitiful bench.

Then of course, Green and Plumlee caught fire for the Suns, whose entire roster experienced a breakout that took the whole NBA off guard before capturing its attention with a thrilling season. Meanwhile, Scola was a beacon of inconsistency all year for the Pacers; a word that suddenly began to define their whole team, and consumed their season in disturbing fashion.

- one of those sideline monitors used for referee reviews

- LeBron's black facemask
(I don't know why this was such a big deal, but it was LeBron, and it was, so it's in here)

- Kevin Love's 2012 contract (four years, $62 million, opt-out clause in final year)
Everything seemed good a couple years ago when The Love Below re-upped; initially the impression was that he'd taken a below-max deal, helping keep Minnesota's chequebook open to surround him with talent and build a contender.

Eventually word got out that then-GM David Kahn had stupidly lowballed Love, which only served to amplify the young star's open displeasure with the team's direction. Though this contract gaffe was one of many nails driven into Kahn's coffin, it still haunts the team after his firing; the Wolves listened to the rumors about Love's inevitable exodus build all year.

Love's almost certainly going to be dealt this summer, and Minnesota - already on the wrong side of a brutal fight for Playoff seeds in the West - will take a further step back. Few players in the NBA have a higher trade value, but he's the kind of guy you want to be trading up for in these deals, not the other way around.

- Pierre the Pelican's pre-facelift costume

- an Official OVO Lint Roller
And the microphone Masai Ujiri blurted the words "Fuck Brooklyn" into.

- Josh Smith's shot chart:                                
- a threatening letter to James Dolan
Surely thousands of these things have been written, it couldn't be that hard to track one down.

Phil Jackson's hiring appeared as a bright halo to Knicks fans amid the raging shitstorm that was their 2013-14 season; a storm so violent and damaging that it would've fit better in a Michael Bay movie than on a basketball court. Everything that possibly, conceivably could have gone wrong in New York this season did, and then Raymond Felton pulled a gun on his girlfriend. Good grief.

Regardless of Phil's levels of authority and involvement next season, Dolan's mere presence atop this team is a toxic reminder of how he's run the NBA's most valuable franchise into the ground in every possible way for years and years, embarrassing the league and disappointing the team's fans. Jackson will be severely handicapped by Dolan's post-dated ineptitude; well over the cap, with few assets and no draft picks to leverage, and in imminent danger of losing the best player they've had since Ewing's knees gave out.

The saying "If you build it, they will come" definitely applies to a city like New York and a name like Phil Jackson, but thanks to Dolan, no one will be able to come for a couple more years anyway.

- 'Life After Death' by the Notorious B.I.G
...oh wait, you mean the Grizzlies' Chris Wallace is a different guy? And that album has nothing to do with him surviving several house-cleanings in the Memphis front office? Shucks, my bad... 

- Kevin Garnett's Geritol supply

- Mann's Chinese Theatre-style hand-prints from Kawhi Leonard and Giannis Antetokounmpo

- Kent Bazemore's warmup duds and bench towel

- This YouTube Tribute:


And This One:

- Rihanna's collection of Playoff ticket stubs

- a strand of hair from Anthony Davis' unibrow
(for potential cloning purposes)

- the Prozac prescription Gregg Popovich made some poor beat writer get after this happened.

- March's issue of GQ Magazine.

- a judges' Slam Dunk Contest scorecard, displaying a '2'
The Dunk Contest was in critical need of tweaking, and though that's exactly what it got this year, it somehow came out far worse. Everywhere: the confusing and simply stupid rule changes, the use of Samsung tablets instead of the judges' classic scorecards, featuring more of Nick Cannon than actual dunking, and then pulling the plug on itself just as things were getting exciting. John Wall sort of, maybe won ('Dunker of the Night' really doesn't have the same ring as 'Champion') but pretty much everyone involved in this mess lost somehow.

- a disco ball
Because Dirk was groovin' this year. In a different sense, so was Larry Sanders.

- an array of Lance Stephenson memes

- a Charlotte Bobcats promotional pamphlet (RIP)

- Shawn Marion's left shoelace
(and the fifty thousand dollars it cost JR Smith to untie it)

- a collection of Dwyane Wade's suits
Because he spent far too much time on the bench wearing them for the performance he put up in the Finals. After sitting a third of the season to rest his legs so he wouldn't suck so much down the stretch again, Wade teased us with a couple dominant stretches against Brooklyn and Indiana, then completely crapped the bed against the Spurs for the second straight year. His absence left LeBron to battle seemingly by himself some nights, and all for his presence to have the same effect when it mattered most.

Then he blithely dismisses his milk carton showing saying he's healthy and just not playing well. Dwyane, Miami paid you 18.5 MILLION DOLLARS to spend the entire season resting yourself for one series. Get real.

- a plate of Continental Breakfast, as selected by Boris Diaw
Because after how he played in this year's playoffs, he can pile on as many croissants as he damn well pleases. Go ham, Boris.

- Kawhi Leonard's Finals MVP Trophy
When he's a perennial All-Star in a couple years (and I do mean 'a couple', as in 'this is happening in the immediate future'), this will be remembered as the moment he arrived.

- a serving of "BBQ perogies"

- Steve Kerr's awards ballot
Because the guy who voted LeBron for Defensive Player of the Year, as well as Tim Hardaway Jr for Rookie of the Year, and the guy who weeks later was the prized coaching hire of the offseason, are the same person.

- Shaun Livingston's season stats, with the "G" column highlighted

- Cleveland's Winning Lottery Combination
One way this season will no doubt leave its mark on history and resonate for years will be its impact on the NBA's more-than-likely adoption of some anti-tanking mechanism.

Left right and center, teams raced to the bottom, eyeing the upcoming Draft as their chance to get a headstart on a needed rebuild. Tanking stole an unfortunate amount of this season; it was discussed too often in media circles, but then almost half of the NBA was either actively doing it, or contemplating it at some point. It was a waste of 82 games for some fans, and ruined a large portion of the overall picture league-wide. This season was like a delicious pie that was baked in a crappy oven, burning a whole side of it beyond enjoyment.

Onward stumbled the Cavs, landing in the Lottery despite every attempt on their part not to. In the ultimate of ironies, they outdrew every team who tried to suck, landing the coveted first pick. It didn't exactly reward smart management, but few teams really 'deserved' their reward this year, which is why league policy towards tanking will almost certainly change as a result.

- Adam Silver's glasses
A big reason why ^those policies are likely to change is the decisive precedents set by Adam Silver in the opening months of his tenure as commissioner. Besides his legendary axing of Donald Sterling, Silver also took quick measures to re-tool the Dunk Contest (though that didn't exactly work), instantly canned the noxious ref reviews, and has pushed the issue on reform for minimum age requirements. It's been anything but a "get a feel for the job" type of debut.

Silver's an open-minded, forward-thinking tactician, who's clearly very intelligent, and has a strong appreciation for the game's history and evolution. While his ideas may not mesh well with everyone, he's far more progressive in his approach than David Stern had grown recently, which is definitely a good sign for the NBA's continued success.

- This Picture:












And This One:

...And This One:

...And Finally:
- the flags from the Spurs' title celebration 
This was a beautiful moment, for a beautiful team, who played a beautiful game beautifully. After digging through everything else, this was what really mattered this year. That they all bonded together in a display of their team's unprecedented international flavor was a poignant reminder of basketball - and the NBA - blossoming globally. For a league whose beginnings were challenging, and its past so disconnected from today, it was an undeniable sign that its future is headed in the right direction.