Time Capsule 2014

The NBA is a relative newcomer to the realm of big-league professional sports.

Vs. its direct competition - the NHL, NFL and MLB - it debuted decades later, delaying the process of building a fanbase. Said process was further inhibited by a multitude of issues through its formative years; everything from the league's poor decision-making and the rival ABA's emergence, to drugs, brawling, and greater, longer-lasting racism bias from the public than in any other sport.The Playoffs weren't even broadcast live until the 80's; it wasn't exactly successful at times.

As a result, there's a large gap between today's generation and the NBA's past. Not only did the league's infrastructure not allow for much preservation of its history, but its presence didn't resonate as much culturally; society as a whole wasn't as connected to it. Both in artifact and anecdote, there's relatively little by which to remember the Old School.

Jump in the DeLorean for a few decades - both the NBA and technological ubiquity have taken a Hodor-sized growth spurt, creating a contrasting predicament: Suddenly, everything is caught on camera - whether those of TV stations, media foot-soldiers, or some dude with an iPhone outside IHOP at 3am. The noteworthy moments have been diluted by an onslaught of peripheral distraction. There's so much by which to remember the "New School" that it's nearly impossible to take it all in.

It's hard to tell at this point how future generations will remember the 2013-14 NBA Season; in what ways the passing years will distort what now are very vivid memories. Thanks to the internet, we're assured that these moments won't be lost, but in today's age where instant information from countless sources changes perspectives so rapidly, they could just as easily be buried and forgotten.

With this season fresh in the rear-view mirror, let's take a look back at the people, things, and ideas that stood out among all the fluff in 2014; filling up a hypothetical time capsule with what to remember the NBA by this year:

- a pair of KD VIs
Kevin durant left his mark all over the regular season, somehow adding another layer to his dominance as a scorer, while also taking his defense and especially playmaking to new heights. With Russell Westbrook down, he kept OKC at or near the top of one of the most competitive conferences ever all year. In a season when the MVP was LeBron's to lose, Durant grabbed it decisively and then re-wrote the book on awards speeches. A return to the Finals eluded him this year, but it's only a matter of time for this guy. He's that good.

(He needs a post-up game though, and that's another story, but speaking of which:)

- a copy of the April 30, 2014 edition of the Oklahoman

- Doc Rivers' vocal cords 
Rivers was a massive influence in his first year on the bench for the Clippers - helping to usher in seasons of vast improvement for both Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan - with whom he wore out his signature hoarse voice regularly. You can assume he also may have yelled at someone when he found out Paul George (apparently his daughter's boyfriend) got a stripper pregnant on the side.

- Derrick Rose's knee braces
Rose's supposed year of redemption got put on hold again, when his meniscus snapped 10 games into his much-anticipated return from ACL rehab. Shelved again for the season, he joined the already-injured Rajon Rondo in setting an unfortunate trend that plagued NBA one-guards this year: Steve Nash, Russell Westbrook, Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Jrue Holiday, Eric Bledsoe, Kemba Walker, and even heir apparents Trey Burke and Michael Carter-Williams were all stung by the injury bug this year.

- a bank statement in the name of Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo, showing frequent transactions at Carl's Jr. in excess of $100, between the hours of 12 and 6 am.

- a copy of Donald Sterling's Anderson Cooper interview
Because it really sums up all you need to know about this situation. Thank God Adam Silver the NBA's done with him. (OK so maybe not entirely done...)

- Luis Scola's hairband, coupled with a signed Andrew Bynum Pacers jersey
It doesn't happen too often that a single trade defines a season for both teams involved, or that Larry Bird looks like an idiot, but sure enough it all happened when his Pacers gave the Phoenix Suns Gerald Green, Miles Plumlee, and a draft pick for Luis Scola.

At the time, the trade seemed like a sage move, giving up two players who didn't fit into Indiana's scheme, for a guy who'd ostensibly help bolster their pitiful bench.

Then of course, Green and Plumlee caught fire for the Suns, whose entire roster experienced a breakout that took the whole NBA off guard before capturing its attention with a thrilling season. Meanwhile, Scola was a beacon of inconsistency all year for the Pacers; a word that suddenly began to define their whole team, and consumed their season in disturbing fashion.

- one of those sideline monitors used for referee reviews

- LeBron's black facemask
(I don't know why this was such a big deal, but it was LeBron, and it was, so it's in here)

- Kevin Love's 2012 contract (four years, $62 million, opt-out clause in final year)
Everything seemed good a couple years ago when The Love Below re-upped; initially the impression was that he'd taken a below-max deal, helping keep Minnesota's chequebook open to surround him with talent and build a contender.

Eventually word got out that then-GM David Kahn had stupidly lowballed Love, which only served to amplify the young star's open displeasure with the team's direction. Though this contract gaffe was one of many nails driven into Kahn's coffin, it still haunts the team after his firing; the Wolves listened to the rumors about Love's inevitable exodus build all year.

Love's almost certainly going to be dealt this summer, and Minnesota - already on the wrong side of a brutal fight for Playoff seeds in the West - will take a further step back. Few players in the NBA have a higher trade value, but he's the kind of guy you want to be trading up for in these deals, not the other way around.

- Pierre the Pelican's pre-facelift costume

- an Official OVO Lint Roller
And the microphone Masai Ujiri blurted the words "Fuck Brooklyn" into.

- Josh Smith's shot chart:                                
- a threatening letter to James Dolan
Surely thousands of these things have been written, it couldn't be that hard to track one down.

Phil Jackson's hiring appeared as a bright halo to Knicks fans amid the raging shitstorm that was their 2013-14 season; a storm so violent and damaging that it would've fit better in a Michael Bay movie than on a basketball court. Everything that possibly, conceivably could have gone wrong in New York this season did, and then Raymond Felton pulled a gun on his girlfriend. Good grief.

Regardless of Phil's levels of authority and involvement next season, Dolan's mere presence atop this team is a toxic reminder of how he's run the NBA's most valuable franchise into the ground in every possible way for years and years, embarrassing the league and disappointing the team's fans. Jackson will be severely handicapped by Dolan's post-dated ineptitude; well over the cap, with few assets and no draft picks to leverage, and in imminent danger of losing the best player they've had since Ewing's knees gave out.

The saying "If you build it, they will come" definitely applies to a city like New York and a name like Phil Jackson, but thanks to Dolan, no one will be able to come for a couple more years anyway.

- 'Life After Death' by the Notorious B.I.G
...oh wait, you mean the Grizzlies' Chris Wallace is a different guy? And that album has nothing to do with him surviving several house-cleanings in the Memphis front office? Shucks, my bad... 

- Kevin Garnett's Geritol supply

- Mann's Chinese Theatre-style hand-prints from Kawhi Leonard and Giannis Antetokounmpo

- Kent Bazemore's warmup duds and bench towel

- This YouTube Tribute:


And This One:

- Rihanna's collection of Playoff ticket stubs

- a strand of hair from Anthony Davis' unibrow
(for potential cloning purposes)

- the Prozac prescription Gregg Popovich made some poor beat writer get after this happened.

- March's issue of GQ Magazine.

- a judges' Slam Dunk Contest scorecard, displaying a '2'
The Dunk Contest was in critical need of tweaking, and though that's exactly what it got this year, it somehow came out far worse. Everywhere: the confusing and simply stupid rule changes, the use of Samsung tablets instead of the judges' classic scorecards, featuring more of Nick Cannon than actual dunking, and then pulling the plug on itself just as things were getting exciting. John Wall sort of, maybe won ('Dunker of the Night' really doesn't have the same ring as 'Champion') but pretty much everyone involved in this mess lost somehow.

- a disco ball
Because Dirk was groovin' this year. In a different sense, so was Larry Sanders.

- an array of Lance Stephenson memes

- a Charlotte Bobcats promotional pamphlet (RIP)

- Shawn Marion's left shoelace
(and the fifty thousand dollars it cost JR Smith to untie it)

- a collection of Dwyane Wade's suits
Because he spent far too much time on the bench wearing them for the performance he put up in the Finals. After sitting a third of the season to rest his legs so he wouldn't suck so much down the stretch again, Wade teased us with a couple dominant stretches against Brooklyn and Indiana, then completely crapped the bed against the Spurs for the second straight year. His absence left LeBron to battle seemingly by himself some nights, and all for his presence to have the same effect when it mattered most.

Then he blithely dismisses his milk carton showing saying he's healthy and just not playing well. Dwyane, Miami paid you 18.5 MILLION DOLLARS to spend the entire season resting yourself for one series. Get real.

- a plate of Continental Breakfast, as selected by Boris Diaw
Because after how he played in this year's playoffs, he can pile on as many croissants as he damn well pleases. Go ham, Boris.

- Kawhi Leonard's Finals MVP Trophy
When he's a perennial All-Star in a couple years (and I do mean 'a couple', as in 'this is happening in the immediate future'), this will be remembered as the moment he arrived.

- a serving of "BBQ perogies"

- Steve Kerr's awards ballot
Because the guy who voted LeBron for Defensive Player of the Year, as well as Tim Hardaway Jr for Rookie of the Year, and the guy who weeks later was the prized coaching hire of the offseason, are the same person.

- Shaun Livingston's season stats, with the "G" column highlighted

- Cleveland's Winning Lottery Combination
One way this season will no doubt leave its mark on history and resonate for years will be its impact on the NBA's more-than-likely adoption of some anti-tanking mechanism.

Left right and center, teams raced to the bottom, eyeing the upcoming Draft as their chance to get a headstart on a needed rebuild. Tanking stole an unfortunate amount of this season; it was discussed too often in media circles, but then almost half of the NBA was either actively doing it, or contemplating it at some point. It was a waste of 82 games for some fans, and ruined a large portion of the overall picture league-wide. This season was like a delicious pie that was baked in a crappy oven, burning a whole side of it beyond enjoyment.

Onward stumbled the Cavs, landing in the Lottery despite every attempt on their part not to. In the ultimate of ironies, they outdrew every team who tried to suck, landing the coveted first pick. It didn't exactly reward smart management, but few teams really 'deserved' their reward this year, which is why league policy towards tanking will almost certainly change as a result.

- Adam Silver's glasses
A big reason why ^those policies are likely to change is the decisive precedents set by Adam Silver in the opening months of his tenure as commissioner. Besides his legendary axing of Donald Sterling, Silver also took quick measures to re-tool the Dunk Contest (though that didn't exactly work), instantly canned the noxious ref reviews, and has pushed the issue on reform for minimum age requirements. It's been anything but a "get a feel for the job" type of debut.

Silver's an open-minded, forward-thinking tactician, who's clearly very intelligent, and has a strong appreciation for the game's history and evolution. While his ideas may not mesh well with everyone, he's far more progressive in his approach than David Stern had grown recently, which is definitely a good sign for the NBA's continued success.

- This Picture:












And This One:

...And This One:

...And Finally:
- the flags from the Spurs' title celebration 
This was a beautiful moment, for a beautiful team, who played a beautiful game beautifully. After digging through everything else, this was what really mattered this year. That they all bonded together in a display of their team's unprecedented international flavor was a poignant reminder of basketball - and the NBA - blossoming globally. For a league whose beginnings were challenging, and its past so disconnected from today, it was an undeniable sign that its future is headed in the right direction.
                             
                            

Grading Day

Last October, I rolled out nine predictions for 2013-14, ranking them based on an arbitrary mix of boldness and importance to the overall scheme of the NBA. My plan was to review them sometime late in the season, and see how each turned out. The campaign's winding down to single-digit-games for half the Association, and since most of these predictions had nothing to do with the Playoffs, I'm turning back time, looking through hindsight's lens, and assigning grades to each one. Where's the DeLorean...

"9. The '73 Sixers are safe"

There was plenty of buzz in the preseason about just how bad some of this season's write-offs could be, and whether any of them would challenge the single-season mark for futility. The prevailing logic seemed to be "so many of these teams look awful, odds are one might be that bad" and not "so many of these teams look awful, and they're all going to play each other enough".

I figured it wasn't much of a stretch that a widening gap between the top and bottom of the League - combined with so much tanking - would make for many more winnable games between two weak opponents. Enough that the worst single-season record would be more than safe.

It played out somewhat predictably; even with this season's incarnation of the Sixers recently putting on a memorable nose-dive to challenge Milwaukee for the Undisputed World Tanking Champion status, there were simply too many other bad teams for any of this season's hackjob rosters to register historically, or even realistically challenge. This was a pretty safe call, so I won't pat myself on the back too much for it.

Grade: B+

"8. D-Rose won't miss a step"

This one went horribly awry, no two ways about it. In October, all indications pointed to Rose reminding everyone just how good he was. He had just spent a full year-plus recovering from his knee injury, and was talking the same confident game he did prior to his MVP season. "I'm faster". "I can jump higher". "My mom can get it". He seemed like he was taking no prisoners, and had forced us to take his talk seriously.

Unfortunately for Bulls fans, Heat haters, and this prediction, Chi-Town's favorite son was barely starting to knock the rust off after ten games, before going down again and seemingly taking his team's season with him. In a twist that should be surprising us less and less, Tom Thibodeau (the Gregg Popovich to Adam Silver's David Stern) milked 150% out of his roster, and the Bulls wound up doing better without Rose, even after salary-dumping Luol Deng.

This result was somewhat of a fluke overall, especially with Rose injuring his other knee, but even the tiny glimpse we caught of him was far from the player we all remembered. I'll be less presumptuous about his next comeback; he might be too.

Grade: D-


"7. Joe Dumars will seal his coffin"

I've spent a few years feeling very bad for Pistons fans. Basically ever since Joe Dumars traded Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson and forced us all to wonder if the Darko pick wasn't a one-off aberration.

In the years since, Joey D's been one of the worst GMs in the NBA, botching trades and signings left-right-and-center, while his pedigree as a legendary player and architect of the '04 title team have bought him rope within the franchise and clouded judgement of the Motor City faithful.

I saw his latest rebuild attempt as a textbook mismatch of talent that wouldn't live up to expectations, and bashed the Josh Smith (and to a lesser extent Brandon Jennings) signings, but even my negative outlook for the Pistons couldn't compare to the turd of a season they put together.

Missing the Playoffs in maybe the weakest Conference ever, notching the season's only coach firing to date (hold that thought) and submitting a very strong bid for this year's Unintentional Hilarity Award. With the internet's proliferation allowing fans to be heard more, they've slowly joined a growing number of analysts in scrutinizing Dumars, but he runs deep with the Pistons, he'll be tough to uproot.

Grade: B+

"6. There will be a record-low number of coach firings"

This one could've gone either way.

Mo Cheeks was the only bench boss to be axed when the situation in Detroit became comically bad, but several others could've easily bowed out. Mike Woodson somehow survived New York's biggest disaster outside a generic blockbuster movie. Larry Drew didn't take the fall when Milwaukee accidentally tanked. The Cavs haven't realized how much Mike Brown's part of their problem, Jason Kidd turned the Nets around to dodge Prokhorov's hit squad, and it's only a matter of time with Ty Corbin.

Any number of things going slightly the other way could've blown this one for me, but getting through a whole season with just one coach losing his job is a total outlier in today's NBA, and when a team can blatantly lose 26 games in a row without a murmur of firings, it's not total coincidence.

Grade: A

"5. The Cavs will begin The Redemption"

Oops.

Looking back on it, I should've seen the signs. Mike Brown. Andrew Bynum. The Cavs with any kind of debatable lottery selection.

My optimism here was based around Kyrie Irving hitting another level (didn't happen), Dion Waiters adjusting as an off-the-ball scorer (unlikely, especially in a Mike Brown offense), and getting anything out of Bynum (statistically less likely this year than him messing around with a coach's wife).

They turned the Bynum Tax Credit into an All-Star (Luol Deng) and will probably have to watch him walk away in the summer, left with another void to fill on a sketchy roster, with a horribly overrated coach, and possibly-insane owner whose regime is beginning to look very shaky.

And I haven't even gotten to Anthony Bennett yet...

Grade: D-

"4. OKC will make a big move; It will be questionable"

Quite a few things went against me here, negating the need for OKC to even consider making moves:

- First, the Thunder were much better at team defense than I figured them to be with so many new, young bodies,

increased doses of Derek Fisher, and Kendrick Perkins getting more and more obsolete. I thought they'd slide noticeably and it just hasn't been the case.

- Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams were two complete question marks coming into this season; both have become solid role players who've fit well within what the Thunder need: a rangy defender who can space the floor, and a center who isn't Kendrick Perkins. Hardly enough to make up the margin between five years of James Harden and eight months of Kevin Martin, but hey, who's counting?

- Reggie Jackson made the leap from "guy who put up an inspiring late-season run" to "landslide 6MOY winner if Westbrook stayed healthy"; instant energy and offense, solving the "who will take pressure off Durant?" query with no hesitation.

- And then Durant spent most of the season in Doom Mode, taking his transcendent game to yet another level.

As a result, the Thunder have looked like a top-two team in the West, even through Russ' injuries. As it played, the season couldn't have gone much smoother for them, which crushes this prediction's "trade", even there's still a decent chance Presti could've botched it.

Grade: D-

"3. The Knicks will completely implode"

We've all heard enough about this.

Grade: A+

"2. The Clippers will have the West's best record (and worst Alternate Jersey)"

The jerseys were a close call; so many total eye-sores. The sleeves movement was an awkward shift that the NBA's thankfully moving to ditch, which is great news for everyone, especially the Clippers and their powder-blue pyjamas.

The "best record" part, was a little further off. San Antonio has the West's top seed locked up, but L.A. is still tight with OKC for the 2-spot, having battled numerous injuries all season, especially their biggest new addition (JJ Redick). The immense upgrade from Vinny D to Doc Rivers has done wonders for this team, especially their defensive cohesion and both Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan taking their games to the next level. At full strength, many are giving them credit as strong West contenders.

Injuries are part of the game, so it's hard to use them as a crutch when this whole process is pretty results-oriented, and the Spurs and Thunder weren't exactly models of health this year. The Clippers could've taken the top seed at full strength, but close, no cigar.

Grade: B-

"1. The Heat will Three-Peat"

My #1 prediction was pretty cliché, but I felt it had the right mix of importance and uncertainty to be a pretty standard slot-in. It's also (obviously) incomplete, but based on what we know right now, doesn't look totally awful.

Miami's hit a relative lull at a bad time, but still has three weeks until the Playoffs to flip what we all know is the most automatic "switch" of any team in the NBA. Fortunately for them, the Pacers are in the midst of a meltdown, have surrendered the #1 seed, and are raising their first serious doubts all season, in a drastic way, at a really bad time. Concurrently, the rest of the East - despite revivals from Chicago and Brooklyn, and the deserved optimism in Toronto - just can't challenge the Heat, rested, with D-Wade, in a Playoff series. There's no way.

The picture is far murkier out West, where any number of teams can cause serious problems, and the battle will be infinitely more competitive: More games will be hard-fought and go into overtime. More series will be stretched the distance. More players will have to exert themselves to the Nth degree, risking injury and exhaustion just to survive 'til the next round.

The West is the far better Conference, but that's to its severe detriment in this year's title race. Miami faces a soft schedule, will play fewer games, and spend plenty of time resting (especially Wade) while waiting for the West schedule to catch up as its teams beat on each other. The Playoff landscape couldn't look much better for them right now.

That said, whatever team comes out of the West, besides being well-tested, is obviously going to be very, very good. Miami played poorly almost too often last spring, catching several lucky breaks to prevail in what was likely the tightest NBA Finals ever. If they're not playing a notch above consistently this year, I don't like their chances too much.

Grade: an incomplete B

Overall, I averaged out to a B-, not incredible, but not Eastern Conference-caliber either. My 3-Peat prediction could do me some favors, but I'm not entirely confident in this Miami team down the stretch of an intense Finals (under the assumption they get there). There's a lot riding on a supporting cast that just hasn't looked as sharp this year, and the load LeBron's had to carry (especially with Wade sitting so often) worries me.

Only time will tell, but before it does, we have some trophies to hand out, so check for the 2014 Banter Awards next week...

Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison for Chicago

What's been a pretty weird NBA season so far just took a turn for the unexpected worse today; Derrick Rose tore the meniscus in his other knee, and will miss the rest of the season after surgery. This more or less detonates the Bulls' 2013-14 season (and Bill Simmons' title prediction), after enduring Rose's epic ACL recovery and setting their sights on the NBA Finals.

This is troubling not only for the obvious implications to the city of Chicago, but to the legions of Heat Haters and those who were praying for some depth of competition in the East after Brooklyn had the most horrendous opening month possible for a team paying its starting five a combined $82 million (seriously).

It's also troubling because Derrick Rose will now have played 49 games in three seasons (well, technically 50...) heading into what's supposed to be the prime of a Hall-of-Fame career. His story was too good; the hometown high-school hero who was going to lead a talented team to a title. He was what we all wanted LeBron to be. And at full strength he was an incredible talent.

Now his career's in a serious flux; rather than continuing to knock rust off through his return, he'll be gathering more, as his team continues to adjust and evolve around his absence. Unless his mentality toward rehab has changed, he'll be taking his time coming back, and while the long-term prognosis is good, Rose's place among the A's elite - now on two shaky knees and approaching Greg Oden recovery status - has become a much shakier issue than it already was.

The best of wishes are with Rose, and I'm sure he'll beast through his rehab with gritty determination, but by the end of it he'll have spent plenty of time away from the court, and the explosive nature of Rose's game thrives on youthful athleticism and strong legs - two things that are escaping him.

Speaking of elite guards whose status has been recently put in the air, Kobe Bryant inked a two-year $48 million extension with the Lakers, taking an 18% pay cut that will still make him the highest-paid player in the NBA. The benefits of seniority.

While inevitable, Bryant signing an extension of this size severely handicaps the Lakers' dream cap space situation entering an offseason as juicy as next summer's Draft. With over half their space now tapped on two aging players (as good as Kobe is, it's just a fact) the Lakers have played themselves into the epitome of employee loyalty. Whether Bryant has enough pull to fill out this roster with similar pay cuts remains to be seen.

Even if the Lakers can pair Kobe with a max player, they'll have $10-12 million left in cap space to fill out 8-9 roster spots, and are going to be razor-thin next year unless Mitch Kupchak has another "franchise player from nothing"-type Pau Gasol deal up his sleeve (side note: has any recent trade been such a win-win for both teams? Memphis signs Zach Randolph, becomes Playoff threat, Marc Gasol evolves from a throw-in into possibly the NBA's best center; Lakers win back-to-back titles)

These aren't really odds Lakers fans want to bank on, particularly with Nash denying the rumored retirement that would conveniently free up space for a third max contract. With Bryant having more or less stopped playing defense most nights, and Nash never having really been able to, they'll be left with two of the oldest players in the A (Stevie Wonder being the oldest) coming back from injuries to form an offense-polar backcourt at a "Buy It Now!" of over $34 million.

Clearly the Lakers could never trade Bryant or let him walk without both causing complete anarchy among their own fanbase and fueling the evil aura every other fan already has about the organization. But from a rational perspective, so, so, so rarely does a team in rebuilding mode go into a deluxe Free Agency
 buffet with a clean payroll and an area code no pro athlete wouldn't at least consider. And now that opportunity - to sign Bryant for something less imposing after beginning to form a contender around him - is gone.

But hey, these are the Lakers, and if one team knows a thing or two about stumbling ass-backwards into All-Stars, it's them. It might have to happen again for Kobe to go out on top, and for his final ride in L.A. - after two decades of legendary basketball - to not end up costing his team a perfectly clean slate.

Got It Twisted: The MVP Ballots

Well, what we long suspected is official: Lebron James has etched his name in another Podoloff trophy, cementing his legacy among the greatest in NBA history, and making him likely, already, the best player to not have won a title. But not only should we be celebrating Lebron's maturation instead of still slighting him for last season, there isn't much to really talk about here; Lebron completely dominated every possible facet of a basketball game this year (even slightly improving his Achilles-esque free throw shooting) and as good as Kevin Durant, Chris Paul, and yes even Kobe were this year, if you don't think Lebron deserves the MVP, then you don't deserve a say in who gets these awards. In fact, one apparent "expert" gave Queen James a fifth-place vote (and another a fourth) which just hurts my brain trying to put into words, so after about ten minutes, I've pretty much given up.

The NBA intentionally allows voters to vaguely interpret "Value" by not setting out specific criteria. While this sparks debate, curiosity, and competition, it also promotes lunacy and bias, allowing for some completely dubious selections, and subsequent fodder for verbal warfare. While I wish the minds that decided these matters were keen enough to steer such an important task through abstraction, it's highly obvious that they need to be kept on a tighter leash, as evidenced not only by Lebron's anomalous 5-slot, but by the following examples of utter ridiculousness:

Dwight Howard - 3rd (1), 4th (1), 5th (5)

This might seem a bit hypocritical; I gave Howard the DPOY a few weeks ago without holding his year's worth of shenanigans against him. I tried to separate his immature mentality from his on-court performance, and felt that even at 75%, he was still he best defender in the League this year, his constant ability to alter a team's gameplan by mere presence still resonating. But this is a whole different story. Let's talk about "Value", principally defined by Merriam Webster as 'a fair return or equivalent in good, services, or money, for something exchanged'.  

The Orlando Magic paid Dwight Howard $17,149,243 this year to help them win an NBA championship. Instead of play his hardest and focus on the team, as he should, Howard half-assed it, coasting through games, expanding nothing about his game, having an obvious disconnect with his teammates, and committing more to his Twitter account than the Magic organization. All year this went on; you could call it pretentious if people weren't eating InDecision up like McNuggets. We thought it had finally come to an end when Howard re-upped at the deadline......But no. After already handcuffing the Magic's ability to build for the future for entire year, Dwight then sought to re-model the team in his eye, beginning with the attempted covert mid-season offing of Stan Van Gundy. As usual, Howard didn't handle things very smoothly and the news became public, creating an awkward rift that conveniently led to his first prolonged injury absence ever and the end of his time in Orlando, as they bowed out of the Playoffs' first round. Aside from being by far the most irritating, Dwight Howard was, at least by some definitions, the least valuable player in the NBA this season. 

Derrick Rose - 3rd (1) 

Not sure what logic led to this selection (likely a couple draught and an Illinois area code), but it's pretty mind-numbing. Derrick Rose is a very good basketball player; the reigning MVP and a consensus Top-10 player. That being said, if you were a die-hard Bulls fan who'd just awoken from a coma, and immediately asked how the Bulls did this year, if I told you Derrick Rose sat out almost half of this season, I could take everything you own on a bet that they tied for the League's best record. Not only is it ridiculous to be giving a vote to a player who spent as much time in Versace as Adidas, this season proved, if anything,    Chicago's a lot better without Rose than any of us thought. 

Dirk Nowitzki - 4th (1), 5th (1)

OK, Dirk put a ring on it, and he was amazing, we all saw. This year? Granted, he was coming back from an offseason of injury recovery and admitted complacency, but let's look at the raw numbers (I hate leaning on stats but this is an easy way to prove a redundant argument): Dirk averaged 21.6 ppg/6.7 rpg this season, shooting .457 from the field. You've gotta dig back to 99-00 - Diggler's second season - to find lower scoring and rebound averages, and he hasn't shot so poorly since his rookie season. The Mavs finished seventh in the West. And two people with the power to alter the course of basketball's most important regular season award think he was a top-five player this year? ......Yeahhhh, fuck off.

Tim Duncan - 4th (1)

This just kinda makes me laugh. All due respect to Tim Duncan and his legendary career, but I can't even really take this seriously, so I'm going to have some fun here; let's lean on more stats: If Brandon Jennings, DeMarcus Cousins, Chris Bosh, Antawn Jamison, Demar DeRozan, Paul Millsap, Tyreke Evans, John Wall, Ty Lawson and Ryan Anderson averaged more points than you did this season, while playing fewer minutes than Hedo Turkoglu, Jared Dudley, Gordon Hayward, Marco Benlinelli, Alonzo Gee, Chandler Parsons and Zaza Pachulia, then you have no place on the MVP ballot. Some moron looked at San Antonio in first place, saw the forest for the trees, then clear-cut the entire thing with his giant theoretical bulldozer.  

Joe Johnson - 5th (1) 

After getting a good giggle in, this just kind of depresses me. It's sad for so many reasons: Joe Johnson's constantly playing at about 85-90%; the Hawks are paying him wayyyy too much money to lead them into a purgatory of mediocrity; Josh Smith has to endure yet another reminder of how much his season was slept on, and Larry Drew will have to deal with another quasi-meltdown as a result. Mostly it saddens me to think that someone who respects their knowledge of basketball enough to cover the NBA as a professional is either corrupted or stupid enough to think Joe Johnson was the 5th-best player in the League this year. In all honesty without a shred of bias of misconception, this guy wasn't definitely the best player on his own team this season, and they middled out in what's still the shallower playoff bracket. What the flying fucking hell is he doing anywhere near the MVP trophy? This is too much: the NBA needs to do something, ANYTHING between guiding these voters and replacing them, because anyone with half a brain who knows basketball and looks at these results has to start taking this as a bit of a joke. And any true NBA fan who has respect for the game and wants the best for it wants to see this award celebrated, not mocked. So, with that in mind, let's salute something they did get right: Your 2012 MVP, Lebron James. 

"I Am Not A Role Model"

Immortal words from a man who's dropped almost as many memorable quotes as double doubles over the years. Charles Barkley was talking about all the troubling behavior most parents sneer at and fear from their children's idols: arguing with referees, brawling with the opposition, spitting on fans and talking more shit than anyone around the NBA would dare these days.

But while the NBA's definitely adopted a more (fan-) friendly approach since the M@P unleashed an almost 9/11-esque overhaul of public policy, basketball's very essence has allowed the league to manufacture a product that's very quickly creating a different kind of harmful role model.

Let's call the NBA what it is: the most star-driven of the Big 4 North American team sports. Not only is basketball the only one where any given star doesn't spend half the game on the bench, but its nature fosters the potential for players to dynamically affect the game in so many ways. Knowing this (and also knowing that Michael Jordan was a once-in-eternity blessing for them) the Sternbot and his cronies have gradually developed (through everything from their promotion style to hand-checking rules that pamper perimeter scorers) a league that puts even more emphasis on their best players, which has shown to exacerbate the already-bloated ego of the typical professional athlete.

The drama unfolding as we speak is pathetic: A guy who's far and away the most dominant two-way player at his position in the NBA (and has been for years despite not having given 110% in any game for about three seasons now) is holding a franchise, hell an entire city of sports fans, hostage at the trade deadline, feigning a slight interest in commitment so he can be courted in Free Agency. This guy (it's Dwight Howard for those of you who haven't figured out by now) has become just the latest in a long line of players who've manipulated franchises - usually for the worse - to get what their way (as if they didn't have enough), taking advantage of how important an asset they know themselves to be. It's a new breed of NBA star: the Diva. It's a disturbing and ridiculous trend.

Vince Carter. Stephon Marbury. Kobe Bryant (the OLD Kobe Bryant...Might also be worth noting that his diva act directly led to two championships). Lebron James. Chris Bosh. Carmelo Anthony. Add Howard to the list after yet another Twitter misstep (you'd think these guys would figure it out by now) made either of two things very clear: 1. Dwight Howard, despite being a nice guy, is clearly indecisive and insincere, two things you'd hope not to see in a franchise guy or anyone that had matured at all since leaving high school for the NBA. 2. Dwight Howard is a lying, attention-starved douchebag.

There's really no other way to look at it. Even if Howard truly is torn and loves Orlando as a city and team, they'd both be better off if he let them down easy and told them it wasn't going to work. Seriously. Dwight Howard is close to a decade into his NBA career and surely must know by this point if he's motivated by money or glory. Either way his decision's easy: The Magic can give him far more money than any other team, but aren't close to winning a title this season, or next season, and have someone who gave Rashard Lewis $400 quadrillion to shoot threes and ignore defense steering the helm of their franchise.

For the past eight months, Magic fans everywhere have been sleeping on beds of nails, while Howard's been happily Twittering around and listlessly dominating the paint, caught up in this fantasy while he captures headlines and sparks debate; the entire league caught up in his indecisiveness.

This is not what basketball's about.

It's about guys like Derrick Rose and Kevin Durant; guys who catch headlines with their play instead of their childish behavior. When it came time for them to make their future-binding decisions, they didn't flop their intentions around, hold nationally-televised events or ask their fans where to go, they just put pen to paper with the teams that drafted them and continued playing, sorry dominating, as if it had never happened. They're team guys; guys you'd want to bring home to Mom if you were a scout and "Mom" was an NBA GM. They're humble, work their asses off, and are never going to do what Dwight Howard is doing to basketball, hell pro sports, right now. What's sad and telling is that remarkably few players have been able to take heed from Rose and Durant, and that the masses continue to fuel their antics; giving the Dwights of the World satisfaction every time we click a trade rumor link.

I'd love, just for once to see a headline like "Rose keeps word, signs extension" or "Durant re-signs without first demanding trade". Because the guy who's just trying to go out there and win basketball games is becoming a rare breed.

The 2011 NBA Awards (or at least how they should be)

I wish I could plan an awards show for the NBA. It would kick so much ass.

I'd start by scrapping the voting process, assigning 25% of the vote value to the players, another 25% to the coaches (applying the "other team" rule), and the remaining 50% to media members, pending the results of clinical bias and GED exams (we need to weed out whoever gave Mike Bibby, Sam Cassell and PJ Brown MVP votes). Those who passed would be required to sit at the front of the crowd during a televised ceremony, and hold up their vote as the award is announced, Slam Dunk Contest-style. Everyone's accountable.

Next, rent out some sick Las Vegas venue, the MGM or something, because this is a celebration, and if you're gonna do it big, that's where you go; a bigger party makes for a more entertaining show. The invitation list would be far from exclusive; obviously all the players and staff, owners and friends, relevant celebrities, former players and superfans (I see you Nav Bhatia! ), but let anybody with the dollar who enjoys the game come be a part of it. Make this the biggest fucking party in the World; get Patron and Grey Goose to sponsor, have bars (with waterfalls) everywhere, hire a few roadies under the table to hand out illicit substances in the bathroom, dancing ladies, fireworks, the whole nine. David Stern would fire me immediately.

Obviously, EJ, Kenny and Chuck would host, with Craig Sager roaming the crowd to harass the attendees, contractually obligated to change suits every commercial break.

The show gets set off with a performance from Deadmau5, with Lupe and Kid Cudi on the mic to set a hype mood. TNT's Big 3 are introduced for a brief comedy intro (you know, where the hosts make fun of people in crowd and they pretend to find it funny 'cause they're on TV while throwing a mental hissy-fit) before getting down to business....

The evening's first two awards are given out Miss USA-style to acknowledge the All-Rookie and All-Defense teams, with the players being called onstage for recognition before the nominees get read:

All Rookie - Second Team: G-Greivis Vasquez, Grizzlies; G-Jordan Crawford, Wizards; F- Patrick Patterson, Rockets; F-Paul George, Pacers, C-Greg Monroe, Pistons

First Team: G-John Wall, Wizards; G-Landry Fields, Knicks; F-Blake Griffin, Clippers; F-Ed Davis, Raptors; C-DeMarcus Cousins, Kings

Evelope please, onto the first award...

Rookie of the Year, presented by Tim Duncan and Darko Milicic

Nominees: John Wall, Washington Wizards; DeMarcus Cousins, Sacrameto Kings; Landry Fields, New York Knicks; Greg Monroe, Detroit Pistons

Winner: Blake Griffin, LA Clippers

The crowd gives him a hearty, yet subdued ovation; one that's slightly muffled by this award having been decided in December, unlike those that so many of his electric dunks evoked. He calmly struts to the stage and accepts the award with Ray Allen-like class, thanks his teammates, family, fans, God of course (he makes no mention of his coach or owner...), formally apologizes to Gallinari and Mozgov, and tells us he's "just getting started" before popping out the mouthguard and sliding off stage.

As a tribute, Griffin's highlight reel from this season runs, beginning with a few nice finesse plays, building up with some nice transition dunks, and gradually ascending towards his truly humiliating facials (showing live reactions from his victims out in the crowd on a picture-in-picture). The hour of footage might be the most entertaining of the broadcast; it's shame it had to come so early. Oh well, on with the show...

Before DPOY, the All-Defense teams get their due:

Second Team: G- Chris Paul, Hornets; G-Andre Iguodala, Sixers; F-Luol Deng, Bulls; F-Tim Duncan, Spurs; C-Tyson Chandler, Mavs

First Team: G-Dwyane Wade, Heat; G-Rajon Rondo, Celtics; F-Kevin Garnett, Celtics; F-Josh Smith, Hawks; C-Dwight Howard, Magic

Defensive Player of the Year, presented by Bill Russell

Nominees: Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics; Tyson Chandler, Dallas Mavericks; Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks; Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat

Winner: Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

Another landslide winner, Howard's all smiles as he hits the stage, especially giddy to be handed the trophy by the greatest defender who ever lived. He leans in to shake Russell's hand, but is met with an icy grip, and the smile quickly fades from his face as Russ shoots him a scornful glare. They awkwardly man-hug for appearances' sake, when Russ, out-of-touch with technology and unaware that his mic hears every word, whispers "Stop being so f***ing friendly to the other team. They're your enemies. And you know they get the ball back every time you needlessly swat it into the stands right?" Howard seems stunned as they part ways, Russell glaring in disdain over his shoulder as he exits stage right. Dwight, appearing shameful and sheepish for the first time in his life, says nothing and shyly saunters offstage. It's sad, but somewhat appropriate, as Howard quite literally had nobody to thank; he was the Orlando Magic's defense this season.

The mood gets lightened by some uplifting music courtesy Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg, dropping several blunts per song while they move the crowd. The atmosphere immediately improves, which is a nice interlude to the next award;

Most Improved Player, presented by the homeless dude the Cavs hired for their play-by-play

Nominees: Dorrell Wright, Golden State Warriors; LaMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trailblazers; Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls; Demar DeRozan, Toronto Raptors

Winner: Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves

In a category that had so many worthy contenders, it took something historic to set a guy on the lowly Timberwolves apart. The place goes bananas as K-Love, wearing jeans and a "Numb#rs" t-shirt, also accepts the "Best Unathletic White Guy" and "Unlikely Fantasy Monster" awards. Several posses of nominated players begin fights in the crowd, including Master P and Lil Romeo brawling with Michael Beasley and David Kahn (who actually holds his own, landing a few solid hooks). The beef's understandable; this was a heated category, by far the toughest decision this year, but regardless of how shitty his team was, Love's leap from bench utility guy to franchise player couldn't be ignored.

The next segment honors Javale McGee, the Washington Wizards center who made it to the Dunk Contest with his fearless, irrational, and hilarious forays to the hoop, and almost won the damn thing. The big screen displays his Greatest Hits (most of which are Misses), while R Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" plays gently. Everybody gets a great laugh, and Craig is of course there to embellish upon every minute of Javale's misery. (I'd be crooked not to admit that this video was entirely my buddy Potter's idea, but it had to be a part of any legitimate tribute to the NBA season)

The next musical interlude comes courtesy of Rihanna, followed by Drake; the two join forces in between for a brief medley of "Whats My Name", during which Drizzy finally breaks down tells her everyone on the planet knows her name and to please shut up.

Sixth Man of the Year, presented by Gary Sinise and Paul Giamatti

Nominees: Jason Terry, Dallas Mavericks; Jamal Crawford, Atlanta Hawks; Marcin Gortat, Orlando Magic/Phoenix Suns; George Hill, San Antonio Spurs

Winner: Lamar Odom, Los Angeles Lakers

In a year many contenders spent lots of time starting for injured teammates, Odom made the most of Andrew Bynum's annual breakdown and was a model of consistency and hard work on a Lakers' supporting cast that fluctuated all season. He's (naturally) accompanied to the stage by Ms. Kardashian (who manages to snag half the camera time), and tries to get a few thank-yous out, but has a hard time keeping a straight face amid a downpour of perfume-commercial-related verbal barbs from some buddies out in the crowd.

The mood then turns somber for a tribute to those we've lost since last season: John Wooden, Manute Bol, Lorenzen Wright, Mel Turpin, Shaquille O'Neal... a moving couple of minutes.

Coach of the Year, presented by Gene Hackman and Samuel L. Jackson

Nominees: Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs; Doug Collins, Philadelphia 76ers; George Karl, Denver Nuggets; Nate McMillan, Portland Trailblazers

Winner: Tom Thibodeau, Chicago Bulls

Thibodeau is curiously absent from the ceremony (rumored to be studying Lakers game tape), so Bulls GM John Paxson accepts the award on his behalf: "Landing Tom was a miracle for us; needless to say he worked out a little better than our last coach. He took a talented bunch of players and brought out the best in all of them, adjusted through injuries to key guys, and kept them focused on a goal that exceeded all our expectations. In his first year on the job." Couldn't have said it better.

Prior to the MVP, the All-NBA teams get some respect, being introduced in an All-Star starter-type spectacle with Kanye and Jeezy dropping "Amazing":

Third Team: G-Russell Westbrook, Thunder; G-Rajon Rondo, Celtics; F-Pau Gasol, Lakers; F-LaMarcus Aldridge, Blazers; C-Al Horford, Hawks

Second Team: G-Chris Paul, Hornets; G-Kobe Bryant, Lakers; F-Kevin Durant, Thunder; F-Kevin Garnett, Celtics; C-Amare Stoudemire, Knicks

First Team: G-Dwyane Wade, Heat; G-Derrick Rose, Bulls; F-Lebron James, Heat; F- Dirk Nowitzki, Mavs; C-Dwight Howard, Magic

The stage then clears for the moment everyone's been waiting for...

MVP, presented by Michael Jordan and Charlie Sheen

Nominees: Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic; LeWyane Jade, Miami Heat; Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks

Winner: Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

As Rose, the youngest MVP ever; clearly humbled by this honor, gets up to accept, a highly inebriated Stan Van Gundy rushes the stage and attempts to steal the trophy, screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs while security removes him. After the brief interruption, Rose says all the right things and leaves to the clicheed "MVP!" chant from the crowd; only this time its legitimacy resonates much deeper. "Why not me?" he asked back in November; seemed crazy at the time, but he backed up every bit of it; his entire team rode his swagger and poise all the way to the East's #1 seed, while he created most of their offense and played out of his mind when they needed him the most; whether during injuries to key guys or against their toughest opponents. The "rose is all in" adidas ads that have been running all night are no joke, he gave the Bulls an incredible season.

The evening concludes with David Stern making a surprise appearance onstage, thanking the fans for their ongoing support, and announcing that there won't be a lockout next season. Or at least that's how it should be.

Things Done Changed...

Every now and then, sudden and illogical absences arise at the worst of times; Jordan spent a year of his prime on his Field of Dreams. Family Guy got cancelled when it was just getting started. And, on a much more inconsequential level, I fucked off Banter for the last three weeks, a stretch that covered the Trade Deadline, All-Star Weekend, and a whole bunch of important games that are shaping the playoff picture as the season winds down. While I wish I could consistently devote more time to this thing, partying, poker, school-related procrastination, and (clearly) watching ball have been ruling me, and the time to rant about the NBA for free on a website that like 5 people read isn't always found.

Timing was never my strong suit, and a whooooole lot done changed over the past couple weeks. The Passion of the Carmelo came to an end the only way Spike Lee could see it. Jerry Sloan got his revenge on Deron. Blake Griffin somehow managed to underwhelm us in the Dunk Contest. Boston did the un-thinkable and shook up their core. All the Lakers shook was some rust, and look like the contenders we always knew they were. The Heat can't beat the elite (I guess some things actually don't change), and Derrick Rose straight up took the MVP trophy from Lebron on national TV. Hell, the Blazers are suddenly healthy and the Cavs could sweep the season series from the Knicks. It's a vastly altered landscape, one marked by uncertainty; only fitting for a League potentially headed into a lockout. Here's a quick recap of the chaos: the Top 10 moments from the past three weeks.

10. Craig Sager on All-Star Friday Night

TNT's sideline vet, infamous for his shamelessly tasteless attire, wore somewhat normal clothing in LA this year, but made up for the muted suit by providing several hilarious moments, first when he took the Ben Roethlisberger approach to interrogating Carmelo Anthony about his ongoing trade drama, then drawing some much-unneeded publicity to the plight of embattled rookie DeMarcus Cousins (..you know, the guy who beat up his teammate for icing him out on the last possession of a game) while giving John Wall the MVP trophy. The NBA: Where Awkwardness Happens!

9. Rupaul's Softer Side

Admit it, you laughed a bitwhen you heard Chris Bosh - the same guy who has a mild seizure when he hits big baskets and sees fit to talk shit to Kevin Durant - broke down and wept in the locker room after the Heat blew yet another lead to a good team on national TV. 

8. The Dunk Contest: upgraded from "critical" to "stable" condition

Say what you will about the car dunk and the seemingly pre-odrained outcome and DeRozan being robbed like the bank in Heat (I will, I thought it was pretty fucking lame), the Dunk Contest was twenty-thousand times better than last year. The excitement was contagious, and even as The Highlight Clip struggled to duplicate his in-game exploits, the dunkers all came with imaginative, high-concept attempts that were even impressive after five botched attempts. That the contest came down to a leaked Kia commercial was unfortunate, but we saw enough hype to bring the contest off life support. We probably won't ever see Lebron, but at least we were spared Brandon Jennings....and Nate.

7. Gilbert Arenas (insert joke about "'open firing") on Miami

So much was important about Agent Zero channeling his '07 self and scorching Miami last week. We saw Gilbert come out of his shell and have a relevant big game for the first time in three years. We saw Orlando stick it to their cross-state rivals and re-assert themselves as threats in the East. We saw the Heat melt themselves, losing a massive lead in a statement game, dropping them to a pitiful 1-8 (soon to be 1-9) against the NBA's top teams. Suddenly, Miami was exposed, the panic button was within reach, players were on the verge of tears...The likelihood of a Gilbert Arenas 3-point barrage being the turning point of Miami's season might have ranked right up there with Jerry Sloan quitting. Which brings us to...

6. Miami's Meltdown

The Heat are in full-out crisis mode again, and since nobody's memory is faint enough to forget their lame-ass, boisterous welcome party last July, everybody outside of South Beach is enjoying it. Just when Lebron was starting to convince some people he was still MVP-worthy alongside Bosh and Wade, the Heat dropped four in a row - including national TV games against top East foes - and brought in a whole new wave of doubts regarding their title aspirations. Wade and Lebron STILL aren't really clicking in the halfcourt. Mike Miller's turned out to be completely useless. And they're a stunning .100 against top competition. This was not what anyone had in mind.

5. Danny Ainge's Massive Balls

Trading a piece of a title contender's core is very risky move. Doing so when your team's core is as close-knit and revenge-hungry as Boston's, and at the risk of pissing off Kevin Garnett, demands immense testicular fortitude. Ainge shipping Perkins to OKC was the ultimate dice roll on a team that's leading the East despite not being fully healthy all year. It doesn't make sense because Boston's core chemistry was unrivaled by any other team in pro sports, because Perkins could protect the rim against Wade, Lebron and Rose and defend Dwight Howard better than anyone in the league, and because, well, they're leading the East despite not being healthy all year. It also makes a lot of sense because Boston was 4 deep in serviceable big men, gained depth and versatility (not to mention a player with much more upside), and (to hush those concerned about the O'Neals' durability) was arguably a Perkins injury away from a title last year. But the balls to pull it off...

4. Derrick Rose: Your 2011 NBA MVP

Sorry, I know a lot of people have plenty of reasons why he shouldn't win it, but barring the most dramatic turnaround ever from Orlando or Miami (and I'm talking them winning every game for the rest of the season), Rose is going to be the MVP. The icing was his cold dismissal of Miami's comeback attempt on Sunday, literally making them cry as he stole their 2-seed in the East. Rose is playing lights-out and saving his best games for big opponents, has a healthy team for the first time all year and has people who know things realistically talking about Chicago winning the conference. Actually. Give me a list of reasons why he shouldn't be MVP, I'll give you a bigger one for your guy, and an offer to wager any amount of money that Rose won't falter enough down the stretch to lose his grip.

3. LA Completely Ruining San Antonio

All season, the Lakers and Spurs were on opposite courses; one cruising beyond expectations while the other insulted them and drifted listlessly. Still, there was this lurking feeling that the Lakers were going to wake up and Sunday it happened, when the defending champs blew out their biggest threat on their home floor. It wasn't even close; a loud statement from a team who's apparently not set to roll over. Better yet, it was by far the Spurs' worst loss of the season, and the first sign of them faltering in a very long time. Those who predicted their eventual collapse are clearing their throats, but San Antonio still has a cushy lead in the West and enough time to rest their aging stars for a playoff run. Let's not get ahead of ourselves - the Spurs break our hearts every time we do - but the Champs are here.

2. The Return of the East

Used the be the West was running s*** in the NBA. The deadline delivery of two superstars to rebuilding Eastern teams was the latest in a series of moves that's beginning to restore some geographic equilibrium. While the East still lacks the depth and competitive balance of the West, its top tier is making the contender conversation two-sided again, sporting as many as four legit threats depending on who you ask. The Melo and Deron acquisitions highlight the urgency of the other teams to keep up and if it can light a flame under the likes of Michael Jordan and Bryan Colangelo, we might not be calling it the Leastern for too much longer.

1. Officially never having to hear the term 'Melo-Drama again

Well, it's over. The latest in a long line of Knicks-related soap operas that consumed headlines ever since Miami's big free agency score finally ended when Carmelo Anthony finally forced his way through to the Big Apple. It was fucking painful. The months of speculation, the sad attempts to feign loyalty and nonchalance, the media shitstorm because this involved a team from New York, the uncertainty that unjustly plagued an emerging team and a coach who just defeated cancer to put up with this crap. The Knicks now have their man and are a Chris Paul theft away from making everyone forget about Lebron signing with Miami, but more importantly, the latest stupid NBA media saga is beyond us, let us rejoice, and enjoy the rest of the season.

Halftime Hardware: The Mid-Season Awards

The regular season grind's just about hit its mid-point; as teams cross the 40-game mark, the conversation's shifted from early season adjustments to All-Stars, deadline deals and the earliest glimpses of the playoff bracket (only 3 more months...). Seems like an appropriate time to revisit the race for the NBA's individual awards and hand out a little Halftime Hardware:

Rookie of the Half - Blake Griffin, LA Clippers
Getting the obvious out of the way, Griffin's taken the League by storm like few rookies ever have; dropping double-doubles almost as often as his devastating dunks that have fans itching for All-Star Saturday (sorry, Lamar). What's more, he's made people care about the Clippers; a dynamic talent that's already borderline dominant in the NBA after three months and putting LA's Other Team on the map. Looks like they found a keeper, hopefully they dont screw this one up.
Regards to: Landry Fields, John Wall, Demarcus Cousins

Most Improved Player - Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves
From the obvious to the opposite; the MIP race is not only very crowded but comprised of players from all walks of life. MVP-calibre point guards, wily veterans, young gunslingers, emerging journeymen; there's a dozen players who could make a very legitimate claim to this trophy. Love gets it because he came into this season facing an unclear role and inconsistent minutes, and immediately forced Kurt Rambis to keep him on the court with his versatile offensive array and utter dominance on the glass. People spoke of Moses Malone's 30/30 30 years ago, well that's also the last time somebody other than Dennis Rodman (also Malone) averaged more rebounds than Love is this season. Over one summer he seamlessly made the transition to legitimate star player; a much tougher leap than the typical breakout year that wins a player this award, especially on a team as dysfunctional as the Wolves. A lot of guys in this running simply adapted to increased roles; Love demanded one with his play and has done nothing but prove himself right.
Regards to: Raymond Felton, Dorrell Wright, Wesley Matthews

Coach of the Half - Erik Spoelstra, Miami Heat
Don't think there's much to discuss here. Miami came into the season with insurmountable expectations, started as horribly as anyone could've imagined; everyone was calling for Spoelstra's head. Spo made some defensive tweaks, began fast breaking and moving the ball more, commanded the respect of his players; suddenly Miami's the hottest team in the NBA. It's almost as open-and-shut as the ROY race, and almost as many innocent people are being shamelessly dunked on.
Regards to: Doc Rivers, Tom Thibodeau, Nate McMillan

Defensive Player of the Half - Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic
It seems almost redundant giving this trophy to Dwight again, and I tried long and hard to find someone who could legitimately swipe it way from him. But Howard's been way too much of a force; 2nd in rebounds, 3rd in blocks, becoming more and more the focus of dramatic overhauls to the opposition's offensive scheme. The numbers don't tell the whole story because Howard's long been the NBA's MAP (most avoided player); his mere presence lowers comfort levels, while also being the safety net for the likes of (formerly) Vince Carter, and (currently) Hedo Turkoglu. His importance can't be understanted because because of a few missing digits.
Regards to: Rajon Rondo, Tyson Chandler, Andrew Bogut

Sixth Man of the Half - George Hill, San Antonio Spurs
A fair share of the blame for the Spurs still being on top of the West (with Timmy D playing such a small role) can be pinned on Hill's emergence as a versatile cog off the bench; a combo guard who can score and distribute, always playing aggressive defense and carrying the business-like edge of a veteran Spur, and not a ringless newcomer. The Spurs hardly lose a step with him in the backcourt alongside Parker or (more rarely) Ginobili; another diamond dug out of the deep rough by RC Buford.
Regards to: Jamal Crawford (barely eligible), Serge Ibaka, JR Smith

MVP - Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls
In what's shaping up to be the most compelling MVP race in recent memory, Rose has backed up his early season boasting with outstanding play that's kept Chicago near the top of the East despite injuries to both their other stars. Rose has been attacking the hoop with the same devastating quickness and athleticism that's scared defenders since he came onto the scene, although the sudden range he's developed has forced respect of his jumper and given him all the more room to operate, to the tune of almost 9 assists a game to run with 24 points. His biggest game have come against top competition and his attack has seamlessly shifted between assaulting weak perimeters and exploiting mismatches in the post, as needed. What more could you ask of the guy?
Regards to: Amar'e Stoudemire, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwight Howard

All-NBA

First Team - G- Derrick Rose/Kobe Bryant F- Dirk Nowitzki/Amar'e Stoudemire C-Dwight Howard

Second Team - G- Rajon Rondo/Russell Westbrook F- Lebron James/Kevin Durant C-Pau Gasol (because he's played half the season there and no true center deserves this)

Third Team - G- Deron Williams/Chris Paul F- Carmelo Anthony/Kevin Love C- Lamarcus Aldridge (see above comment)

While the League's individual Awards do a good job of singling out the most significant accomplishments among the season's many, their scope's pretty narrow, leaving plenty of deserving players without recognition. To celebrate their efforts, check back later this week for the Halftime version of the Basketball Banter Awards; celebrating the best (and worst) of the rest of the NBA...

Envelopes Please...

It's everybody's (or at least my) favorite time of year again; the days are getting longer and warmer, school's drawing to a close and the NBA Playoffs are upon us, mere days away. There's sure to be plenty of incredible ball in the weeks ahead, but it's important not to lose sight of the amazing individual displays that players have put on this year. With that in mind, here's the Basketball Banter 2008-09 Awards; a chance for those who truly achieved greatness this year to be honored properly: in a lightly-read, highly irrelevant blog. Today we'll recognize the winners of the league's official awards with some fictional, but entirely deserved, trophies being handed out later this week.

Without further ado...

Rookie of the Year -- Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

Rose's selection above Michael Beasley in last year's draft raised a few eyebrows and set the bar very high for a guy who'd be expected to quickly restore order to one of the league's schizophrenic offenses while learning the ropes of the big leagues. Any doubters were hastily silenced as Rose jumped out early as the best among a talented crop of rookies and never hit the proverbial wall. Although his jumper's been suspect, his quickness allows him to get to the hoop at will, where here's proven equally lethal at finishing among bigger bodies and setting up open shooters. His toughness and speed on defense are admirable and allow him to hold down even the league's biggest 1's. Even beyond pure talent, which he has in bundles, is his court presence; his poise and clutch playmaking have been the main reason the Bulls are back in the playoffs. Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf called this season a "disaster" back in February, and if not for Rose, it likely would've been. Instead, the Bulls are headed back to the playoffs, and finally in the right direction.

Regards to: OJ Mayo, Grizzlies; Russell Westbrook, Thunder; Brook Lopez, Nets

Defensive Player of the Year - Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

This might've been the easiest award to decide, Howard's leading the league in blocks and rebounds, imposing his will in the paint on D like no one since the Admiral. He's the defensive backbone of a team that isn't great at it, preventing more would-be attackers from entering the paint than any other just by suiting up. His combination of size and freakish athleticism are unmatched, and he's showing a better understanding of court positioning with each season. While his offensive game continues to (slowly) develop, Howard's already mastered the game's more disciplined practice and there's no reason to suspect he won't be raking in a lot more of these in seasons ahead.

Regards to: Dwyane Wade, Heat; Ron Artest, Rockets; Tim Duncan, Spurs

Most Improved Player - Andrea Bargnani, Toronto Raptors

Tough call here. There were a lot of guys who had breakout seasons; a couple swingmen took over and became straight-up dominant scorers, a point guard used a much-needed change of scenery to crack the starting lineup and double-up on his stats. Two more young 1's evolved into All-Star caliber players for top-tier teams, even an old warrior who once ruled the league shook off the rust and became a factor again. Despite all this it was Bargnani whose late-season stride showed the most growth in his game. Last season "Il Mago" (The Magician) was unimpressive, being bitched around on D by bigger pivots, and playing like the awkward shy kid at a junior high dance with the rock in his hands; never quite sure what to do with himself. This year, forced back into starting out-of-position by the O'Neal debacle, Bargs found some confidence, began taking better shots, attacking the rim more and at least standing up for himself in the post against stronger foes. Over the season's second half, he was perhaps the Raps' most potent offensive weapon, regularly droppin' 20's on an impressive variety of aggressive drives and long-range bombs. His numbers may not have jumped as much as some other contenders', but Bargnani defied expectations in a difficult situation and was the only bright spot in a disgraceful season for Toronto.

Regards to: Kevin Durant, Thunder; Chris Duhon, Knicks; Devin Harris, Nets

Sixth Man of the Year - Jason Terry, Dallas Mavericks

This became a serious race when perennial favorite Manu Ginobili missed considerable time this year, and the newly-benched Terry's embracing of his new role made him the immediate favorite; he had his best season as a Mav, doing almost 20/game as their only b ackcourt scoring threat. Instead of causing a fuss about losing his starting spot to a less talented player, Terry accepted the demotion and breathed life into a languid Mavs second line, becoming more of a pure scorer, true to his skill set. His brief injury absence brought on Dallas' worst ball of the season, so believe he'll be a key to any noise (however hushed) Dallas makes in the playoffs.

Regards to: Nate Robinson, Knicks; Lamar Odom, Lakers; Michael Beasley, Heat

Coach of the Year - Stan Van Gundy, Orlando Magic

Winning this award is increasingly impressive in today's age where coaches are canned like tuna and the bench boss' efforts often lie in the shadows of his players' exploits. 2008-09 was no exception; changes on the sideline were made early and often, poor Terry Porter didn't even make it through his first All-Star break with Phoenix. But it wasn't all bad. This year, Van Gundy was the unsung star for a Magic team that exceeded all realistic expectations through the usual early-season hype and loss of their All-Star point guard. He seamlessly incorporated Rafer Alston, he of the turbulent offense, as a replacement and Orlando hardly skipped a beat. In the process they managed to avoid the mid-season meltdown that's plagued them in recent years, and performed well against Boston and Cleveland, recently breaking the Cavs' spirits with a 30-point ass-whupping. This Orlando squad, despite going through numerous roster adjustments and having some very glaring weaknesses, is their best bet to return to the Finals since Diesel rocked Magic threads, and Van Gundy should be commended for it.

Regards to: Mike Brown, Cavaliers; Rick Adelman, Rockets; Nate McMillan, Blazers

Most Valuable Player - LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers

It was a season of great importance for the Cavs; they were drawing ever closer to the summer of 2010, the day of reckoning when a hometown kid who just happened to be (arguably) the best basketball player alive would surely desert them if they didn't put a winner around him. There was a lot of talk about Lebron's supposedly imminent departure, and recent roster moves left plenty of uncertainty about what the Cavs were going to do this season. For the first time, King James' surroundings were as consistent as he was, but His Excellence's excellence managed to surpass even his own lofty standards this year. He improved his free-throw percentage and shot selection, became a more committed defender while continuing to score at will and create open shots for teammates where no others could. The Cavs consequently own the league's best record and its best player will almost certainly get to wear the MVP crown.

Regards to: Dwyane Wade, Heat; Kobe Bryant, Lakers; Chris Paul, Hornets

Congrats to all the winners. Part II drops in a few days...

It's Halftime

We're roughly halfway through the Association's 82-game schedule; as the All-Star break nears, it's a great time to look back over what we've seen so far and give some respect where it's due: it's time for the Haltime Awards.

Rookie of the Half
Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls
There's been a heavy load on Rose's shoulders this year; Duhon's gone, Hinrich's been hobbled. He's been looked upon to not only lead an offense that's politely called disorganized (remember he shares a backcourt with Larry Hughes) and features no low post scorers, but do it pretty much on his own. His outside touch needs work, but his ability to get into the lane makes him an extremely dangerous scorer and few point guards are strong and quick enough to stop him. 17 with over 3 and 6 each game; it's hard to say Chicago made the wrong pick.
Regards to: OJ Mayo, Russell Westbrook, Michael Beasley

Sixth Man of the Half
Jason Terry, Dallas Mavericks
Giving this award to a Mav pains me, especially since they're a serious question mark for the postseason now for a second straight year. Still, Terry's responded to his recent bench demotion by averaging a career-high 20/game, hitting .466 from the field. He's provided a push to Dallas' second unit on both ends of the floor with his speedy playmaking and pesky defending; one of Mavs' few bright spots over what's been a consistently inconsistent first half of the season.
Regards to: Manu Ginobili

Defensive Player of the Half
Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic
Superman's having another monster year, leading the league in rebounds and blocks and making a strong push for an award he could very well own for most of the next decade. His presence in the post probably deters more would-be penetration than anyone else in the league, and those who do test him are more likely to be swatted than fouled. No player his size can cover ground so quickly; his patrol of the paint looms large enough for him to challenge shots and wax glass like The Admiral used to. His squad's unexpected ascent to the top of their conference can only help his cause.
Regards to: Dwyane Wade, Kevin Garnett, Marcus Camby

Coach of the Half
Stan Van Gundy, Orlando Magic
Proving why Pat Riley was right to trust him with the reigns to his franchise, and why he was wrong to show him the door after his coaching hiatus, Van Gundy's quietly steered the Magic to the league's upper echelon. While he leads a talented roster that's managed to remain healthy and, in the eyes of many, overachieve this season, the Magic's perennial early success has never sen them hold the league's best record after 41 games. They're the league's best road team and recently knocked off three division leaders on a tough Western road trip. No wonder Jeff's reluctant to head back to the bench.
Regards to: Mike Brown, Eric Spoelstra, George Karl

Most Improved Player
Chris Duhon, New York Knicks
After years of oppression under the cold rule of Scott Skiles, Duhon booked it to the bright lights of the Big Apple to play for the stat steroid master, Mike D'Antoni. As a result, his scoring, rebound and assist numbers have all doubled (along with his minutes) and he's posted improvements in every major statistical category (including turnovers, which is to be expected playing 40 minutes as the main ballhandler on a team that leads the league in possessions per game). When the rest of the Knicks start playing with his poise and consistency, they might become a team to respect again.
Regards to: Devin Harris, Jameer Nelson, Danny Granger

MVP
Lebron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
Finally surrounded by a team that can win enough games to solidify his MVP credentials, Lebron's having another unreal season. With Cleveland on pace for 60-something wins and part of every title conversation, his ridiculous numbers are somehow viewed in a more elite context, even though he's averaging fewer points, assists, rebounds and minutes than last year. Adding a second scorer/ballhandler has helped ease his burden on offense, evidenced by a much more energetic commitment on D. As a result, the Cavs are cruising and the dudes nipping at 'Bron's heels in the MVP race will need to do something legendary to catch him.
Regards to: Kobe Bryant, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard

...and now for a few awards the league doesn't dish out, but are still well deserved:

Disappointment of the Half
Toronto Raptors
After acquiring Jermaine O'Neal and locking up Jose Calderon, there was big talk north of the border prior to this season, but the Raps came out flatter than month-old soda and have played disorganized, brutally soft and defensively challenged ball all season. Injuries aside, their lack of cohesion's led to a 16-28 mark, good for 13th in the East and far from what Chris Bosh is willing to stick around for next summer.

Surprise of the Half
Denver Nuggets
Steadied by the presence of Chauncey Billups, the Nuggets are holding court among the West's top teams, even through the prolonged absence of their most talented player. No longer a one-way, free-wheeling bunch of self-serving scorers, The Nugs have buckled down on defense thanks to the addition of lynchpins Renaldo Balkman and Chris Andersen (bbbbroooooo!) and the newfound health of K-Mart and Nene. The absence of AI (his talents just weren't a good fit for their roster) has no doubt helped them climb into the conference's upper reaches and maybe even finally escape the first round.

Best Acquisition
Mo Williams, Cleveland Cavaliers
While Elton Brand's stuggled to find his spot in Philly, the other big addition out East has git in quite nicely alongside Lebron. Williams filled two voids for Cleveland, giving them another steady ballhandler/distributor and a second player who could create his own shot on the perimeter. As mentioned earlier, he's allowed Lebron to exert himself less on offense which allows him to save energy for D, and barring a serious meltdown, a deep playoff run. As a result the Cavs are on pace to eclipse last year's win total and are winning games more comfortably than any other team in the league. Hard to argue with those results.

Comeback of the Half
Nene, Denver Nuggets
Last season was one Nene would like to forget. He played all of 16 games, sidelined by a bout with cancer that was no doubt indescribably painful and cost him one of his nuts. The way he's played so far this year should help him put his past to rest, dropping carrer-highs of 15/8 while shooting 60% from the field to lead the league. His convalesence couldn't have come at a better time for a team that dumped its starting center for a bucket of Big League Chew over the offseason, and is a big reason why Denver's turning heads around the league with their recent success.

Ham Sandwich of the Half
Eddy Curry, New York Knicks
Curry wins this award not only because, much like a side of ham he's a large, immobile slab of meat, but because he's played an outstanding two minutes all season. Needless to say that for whatever reason (most likely his rubenesque physique and inability to bend at the waist or casually jog), he hasn't commanded a huge role in an offense that thrives on the run, but for a player who dropped 19/7 just two seasons ago, his disappearing act is too disturbing. More disturbing is that with the $10 million he's paying Curry this year, James Dolan could buy a fleet of 40 Bentleys that would provide similar levels of on-court productivity.