Requiem for a Career

"Microfracture surgery" and "Greg Oden" are probably the most devastating injury-related terms in pro basketball right now, so when they're mentioned in the same sentence, you know not to take the situation lately. News broke last night of yet another devastation, the latest in a list longer than Shawn Kemp's baby mamas, one that will keep the former no. 1 pick in suits for the rest of the season.

The easy assumption is that his career is over. There have been too many long-term issues with this dude's entire anatomy for any GM off the Great Lakes to want to invest in him; forget the wear-and-tear of an NBA season, Oden's body has regularly succumbed to rehab. In terms of on-court development, he's essentially still in his first year; he's not getting any younger and, at this rate, will be ordering off the senior's menu at IHOP by the time he fulfills his rookie contract. With every passing season, and every awkward, dubious ailment, there was always that slight hope that "maybe, just maybe, Greg Oden can stay on the court this year", but any optimism the Blazers and their fans could've held onto must be dead now. We hardly knew ya.

Whether Oden's ever healthy enough to return to pro basketball, this latest setback will likely cement a historical draft day faux-pas; one that reeks eerily of Portland's immortal fuck-up in '84. Although Oden was touted as a revolutionary defensive presence, nobody needs Captain Hindsight to point out the meteoric rise of the neglected Kevin Durant, only adding insult to injury, after injury, after injury. There's no telling where the Blazers would be had they gone the other route on that fateful day (clearly much closer to a title), but at least they walk away from this mess finally knowing damn well never, under any circumstances, to draft a center with their top pick.

While we're witnessing history here, we're also caught up in a young man's tragedy. I'll be the first to admit that I've had many laughs at Greg's expense, from his bumbling injuries, to him awkwardly and unintentionally ending Dikembe Mutombo's career, to him getting his penis shown to way more people than was ever hoped. But you can't help but feel terrible for this guy right now. His entire life, he was touted as basketball's next big thing; a can't-miss prospect bound for NBA stardom, success and (obviously) millions upon millions of dollars...And now that's all in serious jeopardy. Even if Oden's able to bounce back and have a productive career (which seems very f***ing unlikely at this point), it certainly won't be like it was supposed to.

Never mind Lebron, Greg Oden's really the one asking himself "What should I do?". Hell if I know; he's in an unbearable predicament none of us should envy. All the best going forward, Mr. Oden.

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I'm still not sure whether I should be ROTFLMFAO, or horrified for the millions of innocent children who might stumble across this atrocity. The internet was never a safe place, but it just became far more troublesome.

I'll be back Friday to break down what's going on around the League as teams continue to find themselves and prepare for the trade deadline. Til then, peace.

Playoff Diary: 6 Days In

Almost a week into the NBA playoffs and nothing overly shocking has happened yet. Amid some highly competitive (..well, in some cases) basketball, there aren't too many amazing developments or shocking revelations to speak of. Here's a few things we can take away from what we've seen so far:

- Jason Kidd's a defensive liability. I know it's been said many times before, but with his team's playoff life hinging on how badly Tony Parker exploits him, it bears repeating. His lateral quickness has sunk to Oliver Miller-esque levels, and regardless of his cunning playmaking ability, he's a disruptive presence when the entire Mavs squad needs to play help every possession. It seemed to work in game 3, but San Antonio hasn't collectively shot that poorly since the late Jurassic, so constantly collapsing on Pretty Tony may not win them the series so easily.It's been happening all season; it's surprising Dallas doesn't fall into a zone more. Regardless, if the Mavs survive the first round, it'll be in spite of Kidd's shortcomings.

- The Celtics are cooked. Their big men have stepped up to fill the voids left by Leon Powe and some guy named Kevin's absences, but the Bulls are giving them far too many problems for them to have ambitions of returning to the Finals. Garnett's dynamic court presence is critical to their success and Powe's injury leaves an already-hurt team stretched further. They pounded the Bulls last night, but an opening round trouncing of the least experienced team in the postseason is nothing to suggest they won't be beasted next round (or even next game). 

- If there's a fringe contender at this point, it's gotta be the Nuggets (raise your hand if you thought back in October that those words would be soberly uttered this year). Chauncey's been flawless, even squared up with the league's best point, and as a team they've arguably payed the best ball in this young postseason. 

- As if Greg Oden hadn't hurt himself enough times this year with his bumbling clumsiness, his stupidity has now cost one of the game's most revered players his final playoff run. Dikembe Mutombo; league ambassador, humanitarian, and defensive demigod, has fallen victim to an inadvertent Oden stumble, and says his career is now over. Ironic that a week after I crown him with the Kevin Willis Award, this happens; Deke deserved better. Not only was he a dominant defender, but the league's elder statesmen and one of its nicest guys (and most hilarious characters). He'll be sorely missed. Assault charges against Oden are pending, but defense attorneys are seeking to have the charges dismissed on the grounds that their client isn't fit to stand trial.

- Brandon Roy's no fucking joke. His game and poise are years ahead of their time, and if his name's a big part of MVP talk in years to come as the Blazers continue to come of age, I won't be surprised at all. 

- ...Aaaand then there was the Detroit Pistons: An awkward assembly of savvy veterans and energetic youngsters that, after Chauncey's questionable shipping, look completely lost. Iverson's absence has, not surprisingly, done little to mend issues that have been plaguing them all year. They've lost their heart; they look deflated. They aren't very tough inside. Their point guard wants to score all the time. They don't have a prime-time scorer or game-changing talent. Kwame Brown is in their post rotation. This is a very flawed roster that Iverson's impending free agency will greatly benefit; they've got moves to make. 

- Most Impressive so far? Lebron's been unguardable, Chauncey's been unfaultable, but seriously, did anybody ever think Rajonn Rondo would be playing this well, at any point in his career? Fuck, this guy couldn't hit an open jumper for a 10 sheet two years ago and now he's playing some of the best two-way basketball in the league. 

 

Enjoy the ball this weekend, I'll be back in a few days.

2008-09 Basketball Banter Awards

...So now that we've got the standard season-ending awards out of the way, it's time to turn our attention to those that fell short of the NBA's top honors; those whose achievements didn't fall into the narrow focus of six categories but still accomplished something special in 2008-09. What follows are a variety of honors exclusive to Basketball Banter; some glorious, some dubious, all deserved of some recognition.

Here it goes...

The Canibus Award - Greg Oden, Portland Trailblazers
Given to the player who was supposed to blow up do something huge this year, but never really accomplished much.

I know it seems unfair giving this to a 21 year-old rookie, but this disappointment of Oden's NBA debut is too profound. Here was a guy who was so highly touted coming out of college, a player whose undeniable future as the league's dominant big man made him the top draw ahead of scoring machine Kevin Durant. Expectations were high, but even after a year of rehabbing his injury-prone leg, Oden fell shorter than his own vertical. He was regularly sidelined with minor injuries that spoke to how poorly his body was holding up to the NBA; when he did play, the 9/7 he put up were underwhelming. He spent more than his share of time on bench in foul trouble and clearly hasn't grasped many basic fundamentals like passing out of double-teams and jumping for rebounds. Oden's offensive game is uglier than Tori Spelling and he just seems lost out there most of the time, botching plays and running the floor with the grace of a stoned hippopotamus. He showed some progress as the season went on, but it's going to take a lot of work for GO to justify the hype.
Regards to: Luol Deng, Bulls; Yi Jianlian, Nets; Richard Jefferson, Bucks

The Shawn Kemp Memorial Award - Lebron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
Given to the player who through demoralizing swats and/or vicious facials has emasculated the most grown men this season.

You saw it far too many times this season. It was horrifying. A small, defenseless guard would be fast-breaking to the hoop, nothing standing between his stride and an open layup. He'd see it coming over his shoulder, knowing what lurked behind, closing in ever faster, but also knowing he could not outrun his predator. He'd go strong to the hole, at least as strong as he could, only to have his feeble attempt sent off the backboard into the mid-court 5th row. Or a big man lumbering through the post, distracted by a baseline cutter or post screen, unaware of the imminent attack by flying terror. They'd always see it coming a second too late, arrive a step too slow and have their clumsy attempts at defending the basket re-played on SportsCenter enough for us to never forget. We were subjected to suh brutal assaults every time LeBron James played this year. What's even more disturbing is that there's no end in sight to this madness...
Regards to: Dwyane Wade, Heat; Dwight Howard, Magic; Nene, Nuggets

Ham of the Year- Tracy McGrady, Houston Rockets
Given to the player who through on and off-court incompetence failed to meet any/all expectations.

Quite rarely does a bonafide superstar suffer a season-ending injury and have his team respond with an unquestionable improvement. Such was the case of McGrady this season, whose Rockets contended for home-court in the West only after his dysfunctional jumpers and general indifference were removed from the equation. Selfish, inconsistent play and clashes with teammates highlighted a season that ended even more prematurely than T-Mac's gotten used to. Ironic because this was the the year McGrady was finally supposed to pull it together and get out of the first round; he had the squad to do it. Now the Rockets will be paying him $21 million to hang courtside and watch an over-achieving team potentially break the first-round curse that's plagued him his entire career.
Regards to: Eddy Curry, Knicks; Greg Oden, Blazers; Elton Brand, Sixers

The Flavor Flav Award - Nene, Denver Nuggets

Goes to the player who, against all odds, had the most significant comeback in the league.

I was trying to give this award to Shaq; what he did this season impressed me a lot; after a few years of (as I see it) coasting, he committed himself to getting in shape and became a legitimate All-Star again. The Phoenix training staff seemed to think O'Neal could still play at this level when they acquired him and, and if their best player didn't go down, he'd be a huge part of a team that could've made some noise this year...But as nice as Diesel's comeback was, Nene was facing a far greater obstacle than slight nonchalance and some extra pounds. Testicular cancer; a crippling and humbling ordeal that sidelined him all last year. He came back nastier than ever; 14/8 on 60%, dunking on everyone in sight with over a steal & block every game. Denver has to still be kicking themselves for dumping Marcus Camby last summer, but Nene's resurgence has lessened the blow.

Regards to: Shaquille O'Neal, Suns; Dwyane Wade, Heat; Chris Andersen, Nuggets

The Kevin Willis Memorial Award - Dikembe Mutombo, Houston Rockets

Given to the player who shows outstanding commitment to the game through a complete unwillingness to retire.

One of the disadvantages of coming from a technologically-challenged tribal settling in Zaire; you don't really know how old you are. Deke's listed at 40, but it's painfully apparent that he's no younger than 65 and should long ago have been honored as the league's oldest player. And retired. It's a miracle that the Elmer's holding his knees together can support his 7'2" frame anymore, but before Mutombo completely fossilizes mid-shot-block, he should just hang them up and let everyone salute one of the dominant defenders the league's ever seen.

Regards to: Donyell Marshall, Sixers; Theo Ratliff, Sixers; Grant Hill, Suns

The King Leonidas Award - Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder

Goes to the player who valiantly led his squad against unbeatable foes, putting up heroic performances on a horribly overmatched team.

I was overly critical of Durant last year; in my mind Al Horford had a more significant rookie campaign after Durant shot the ball poorly (albeit to the tune of 20/game) with the green light on the league's sorest team. The progress that Durant showed this season is making me wonder what my herb was laced with back then; how I didn't give a guy this nice the ROY. Durant's game showed much more maturity this season; apart from showing signs of beginning to acknowledge defense, he improved his shot selection and diversified his offensive set; showing the kind of improvement that should truly horrify every other GM. He'll continue to get stronger, to get smarter, to improve upon a raw talent that's already among the League's top 5 scorers. If his team can show the same growth, it'll be time to crown a new champion next season.

Regards to: Al Jefferson, T-Wolves; Danny Granger, Pacers; Devin Harris, Nets

The Bobby Boucher Trophy - Chauncey Billups, Denver Nuggets
Awarded to the player whose addition to a team created the greatest positive impact.

While the Nuggets may have only won five more games than they did last year, they enter the Playoffs as the West's second seed with a far more composed approach to basketball, largely thanks to Billups' early-season arrival. Chauncey initiated a far less erratic attack o n offense and instilled some defensive discipline in the league's most blatantly one-way team; restoring order to a team that had all the talent but was lacking that intangible glue to hold it all together. Billups proved a strong adhesive; not only mentoring Denver's immature roster but putting up All-Star numbers. Consequently, the Nuggets are looking like the favorites to be humbled by the Lakeshow in the West Finals, which given their pre-season outlook is nothing short of astonishing.
Regards to: Mo Williams, Cavs; Ron Artest, Rockets; Shawn Marion, Raptors

The Biggie Smalls Award - Amar'e Stoudemire
Given to the player whose loss hurt his squad the most.

It was a tough year in Phoenix; the Suns were forced to play a suffocated form of basketball under an uninspiring coach for the first half of the season. They were losing games, losing patience, losing hope. Something had to give, and after management openly shopped Stoudemire, they shrewdly canned Terry Porter and let the team continue doing what it was built to do: score. Lots. Things appeared to be returning to normal; Phoenix was winning, dropping 120+ nightly, looking dangerous again; it was too good to be true. A week after Alvin Gentry rejuvenated a morbid roster, Stoudemire's freak eye injury sidelined him for the year and essentially sent Phoenix's season into the tank. With him, they'd be a team nobody wanted to face in the playoffs; but the reality of his absence leaves the Suns with a few extra weeks of vacation time and Stoudemire as this award's clear-cut winner.
Regards to: Michael Redd, Bucks; Al Jefferson, T-Wolves; Carlos Boozer, Jazz

The Titanic Trophy - Toronto Raptors

Given to the league's biggest disaster this season.

It's really a toss-up between these guys and the Clips, both of whom made big off-season acquisitions that had them thinking playoffs, both of whom bottomed-out in their respective conferences and generally just shat the bed all year. I gave it to the Raptors because LA plays a much tougher schedule and, really, it's the Clippers here; something always goes wrong with them so my expectations are never really that high. Unfortunately, I'm starting to feel the same way about Canada's last link to (real) professional basketball. Toronto spent this year playing uninspired, confused basketball against weak opposition, only to finally pull it together over the season's final month and play to the level everyone considered them on. The requisite "...we're building towards next season" that Raps GMs have been spitting out for the last decade or so seemed especially tired given the pre-season hype. Instead, the Raps are stuck leaving their fate to a bunch of bouncing balls, hoping something can go their way this year.

Regards to: Los Angeles Clippers, Washington Wizards, Detroit Pistons

Congrats to all the winners. The Playoffs kick off this weekend (and either San Antonio or Dallas is going home in the first round!!), so stay tuned for previews and game notes this weekend.

The Week that Was

So I've been a little lazy lately about posting anything; not that there hasn't been plenty to discuss around the League this week but I've spent almost every waking hour of the past ten days either working, drinking or gambling, leaving school and (more importantly) Basketball Banter seriously neglected. I'd like to offer sincere apologies to all three of you that read my blog; I've been irresponsible and you deserve better. With that out of the way, here's some thoughts on what's happening around the NBA:

- After the trade deadline passed without anything monumental happening, the focus now turns to free agents and recently-released veterans who can fill voids on contending teams. Boston traded in Sam Cassell and PJ Brown for Starbury and Mikki Moore, hoping their other players have gained the experience they gave up in the process. The Spurs added Drew Gooden after he was bought out by Sacramento, a move which I could see working because it's the Spurs and they find a way to work anyone into their system, even a guy who plays basketball as incoherently as my man Drew. The Cavs signed Joe Smith, who will provide the vetern savvy and solid D they'll miss while Big Ben's broken leg heals. The Lakers meanwhile, having recently dumped two rotation players for a few cans of baked beans and Adam Morrison's old wig, are nonchalantly doing nothing.

- Meanwhile, at the bottom of the standings, the race for Blake Griffin heats up as Memphis has lost 8 in a row to plummet within 3 games of the lowly Kings. Hot on their heels after losing Al Jefferson for the season are the T-Wolves, who've dropped seven straight and are making the race for last out West as compelling as the race for second. Out East, Washington continues to hold down the basement despite Toronto's best efforts. Will the Grizzlies continue to slide like the Dow Jones? Does Minnesota have enough time left to catch up with the rest of the lottery hopefuls? Can Sacramento win a single game against an Eastern opponent this year? Stay tuned folks...

- The Nuggets recently suspended Carmelo Anthony for being Carmelo Anthony; he was barred from their recent loss to Detroit after refusing to exit the pervious game during a fourth-quarter timeout. As talented as Melo is, he's gotta grow the fuck up. Dude, realize that you're a professional athlete and heavily marketed celebrity. Every little fuck up you have (and between this, the bar fight, the DUI, the "accidental" weed bust, the sucker-punch and the street gang DVD cameo, they're becoming quite numerous) is going to be scrutinized by a jaded mass media; each mishap building upon the rest and making your reputation more irreparable. You've finally got a team you can accomplish something of note with, so get your head in game, and get out of it if your coach says to.

- Detroit was able to recently end their 8-game skid, their return to respectability co-inciding with Allen Iverson's recent injury. Hate to say it but at this point I think it's going to be extremely hard for AI to win a title. His style of offense too often leaves four guys standing around, which isn't going to fly on any team competent enough to compete for a title. Really, his best-case scenario was the Sixers team he dragged to the Finals; he was their only remotely dangerous scorer so it was legit for him to jack 30 shots every game and keep the likes of Tyrone Hill and Eric Snow uninvolved. Everybody else played tough D and did all the dirty work that defined their squad...and to say they were arguably the worst Finals team ever is entirely legitimate. As incredible as Iverson's career has been, it's growing increasingly clear that he's just not a winner.

- Shaq was on fire this week, dropping 33 on the Lakers in a big-time win for the Suns (minus their two best players) after murdering the Raptors for 45 (on 20-25). His words echoed as loud as his play, ripping into Stan Van Gundy, drawing the open ire of Superman heir Dwight Howard and dropping the "RuPaul" tag on Chris Bosh. Legendary. If the League doesn't give him Player of the Month honors I'm filing a formal complaint.

- Speaking of on fire; ladies and gentlemen, Dwyane Wade. Wow. He's delivered on so many levels, providing scoring, ballhandling, distributing and All-League D to a team that wouldn't win ten games without him. In my books he's MVP-worthy but anyone trying to say he should get the award after Lebron was snubbed the past two years is a Wade-jocking hypocrite. I think the voting panel puts way too much clout in a team's final record, but in staying consistent with a system that saw the Mavs win Dirk an MVP, Wade can't really hold much contention.

- And finally, surprising nobody, Greg Oden's on the chilling list again. The often-hobbled Blazers big man will miss another week while recovering from a chipped kneecap, his latest setback suffered during a fall while attempting to board the team bus.

I'll be back in next few days with some stuff from the League and thoughts from the AUS Playoffs. Until then, peace.