Behind the Headlines

- The 76ers, down a trigger-happy point guard and in desperate need of a proverbial shot in the arm, have signed maybe the most prolific trigger-happy point guard ever; franchise icon Allen Iverson. The move ends maybe the shortest retirement in pro sports history and gives Iverson another, perhaps final, chance to right the sinking ship his legacy's riding. While he's still capable of top-notch scoring, I can only pray that AI buckles down and plays within the team; accepting that he won't be the man all the time and keep his mouth shut about it. Sure, the 76ers are going nowhere fast, but if the Answer can prove his value in a more balanced role, he could be an attractive free agent for a contender next summer and deal with the Question that's plagued him his whole career: his ringless fingers. The Philly fans are the clear winners here; their one-time savior returns to maybe once again rescue them from mediocrity, but Iverson could come out of this on top regardless of how well the Sixers do this year...or it could drive the nail in his career's coffin. The stakes are high but regardless, it's good to have him back.

- In unrelated (also unsurprising) news, Ron Artest, he of the Late-Night nudity, recently admitted to a Sporting News reporter that he used to keep Henny stashed in his locker when he played for the Bulls, and get his sip on at halftime. Apparently he had some difficulty kicking old habits, as Ron explains: "When I was a 19-year-old father, whew. I was a single pimp! I was wild...A lot of marijuana and alcohol -- even before [that age]. ... I [still] party and I have fun, but not like I used to. I used to drink every night and party every night." While this helps to explain some of the on-court antics we've seen from Mr. Artest over the years, it creates plenty of questions for his employer, and further skews the already distorted lens through which everyone observes him. I really don't know what to say about the guy at this point, other than it's clear he's not going to change. He's a grown man with a tormented yet goofy spirit who's been doing crazy shit in the NBA for damn near a decade. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the damage he's doing to his own image, but at least he's learned to stop doing damage to the team (...and Knicks TV equipment...and Detroit Pistons fans).

- Speaking of forwards whose lives have become running punchlines, Antoine Walker was in the news again this week. Last time we heard from the Round Mound of Ill-Advised 3's, he had tilted off nearly a million bucks at various Las Vegas casinos and bounced on the tab. Apparently 'Toine's patterned his business ventures after his gambling habits: several buildings owned by his Chicago-based realty company (which was already facing 12 incompetence-based lawsuits) have been cited by the city as a 'slum nuissance'. Respect the grind.

- Amare Stoudemire and Tyson Chandler's fans just had to know what was going down during their games last weekend, and their wallets are a little lighter thanks to new NBA rules that prohibit Tweeting during games. I don't know what's more ridiculous; that players can't focus enough on a game to leave their pretentious Twitter accounts alone for a few hours, or that League actually feels the need to regulate this kind of activity.

- And special shout-outs to the reeling Nets, whom the Lakers recently sent to a historical low: their failure to cop a W in any of their first 17 games is the worst start in NBA history. With Sacramento playing well, New Jersey is officially set to take over "Most Irrelevant Team" status once Devin Harris wins them a few games and people stop talking about them. All thirteen of you Nets fans out there, our prayers are with you.

Welcome Back

We're now a month into the 2009-10 NBA season; seems like just yesterday we were plotting fantasy drafts and being teased by preseason action. Close to a quarter of the games have been played already and most of the cobwebs have been knocked off; any benefit of the doubt we could give teams and players for early season adjustments is waning: it's time for the gloves to come off...

- As I've grown uncomfortably used to doing, I'll start this one off with the Toronto Raptors; the team that every Canadian loves to hate, and who keeps giving them every reason to. They took cap space and several intriguing trade pieces into an offseason that demanded big moves. One would've hoped they were bent on addressing their glaring need for toughness size and general defensive competency. Instead they over-paid Hedo Turkoglu, a redundant talent who I spent the whole summer denying would vault the Raps into the East's upper tier. While Turkoglu has played acceptably and helped ignite a high-octane offense, his presence does little to change the fact that nobody on this team can play a lick of defense. While Reggie Evans' abesence hasn't helped (former league leader in rebs/48. Don't sleep.), that this team's under .500 and the Eastern playoff border, giving up 116 to the Bobcats, with Chris Bosh playing the best ball of his career, is unacceptable. Bryan, I know you're a smart businessman and shrewd basketball mind, otherwise you wouldn't have the job you do, but your squad in Phoenix hit its ceiling before the Finals, and they were infinitely more talented than the Raptors, so why are you trying to do the same thing here?

- Another East team that's looking a little shaky are (gulp) Lebron 'n Friends. I've held my tongue enough on the topic: Mike Brown is to offensive coordination what Lindsay Lohan is to sober driving. I hate calling out the guy at the helm of my favorite squad, but c'mon man, you house an enviable stable: a legit post threat who can outmuscle almost anyone in the L and a 7'3" giant with a smooth mid-range stroke who beasts the offensive glass and keeps big men honest 5 or 18 feet from the hoop. They're surrounded by a bunch of lethal shooters who can punish most collapsed defenses, and although one of your energetic forwards is a weak finisher with a tendency to do too much, this is generously offset by the other one being arguably the most dynamic offensive talent ever to play basketball. Surely when the Cavs are down against the Wizards and Bobcats they can resort to better looks than Lebron isolating a helpless defender atop the key and firing a 20-foot-fadeaway while four guys gather dust around him.

- The Nets finally did what had been speculated for over a year and canned Lawrence Frank after their humiliating 0-16 start. Frank becomes the latest in a mile-long line of Eastern Conference coaches who were shipped to the slaughterhouse by rebuilding teams with maligned rosters that any coach would struggle to squeeze wins out of. Especially with Devin Harris injured, this team was painfully inferior to any opposition, and instead of having faith in a man who coached their team well when they didn't toally suck, New Jersey's new owners can now shell out a couple more millions for a guy who MIGHT do a better job.

- It's not all bad though; the Suns shed a couple pounds over the offseason and, now more tailored to Alvin Gentry's run-and-gun, seem to be back to their old selves. They've got Amare back and surrounded him with a lethal long-range arsenal while Steve Nash Bridges continues to defy father time's will with another MVP-ish season. Channing Frye might be the perfect center for what the Suns are trying to do, Grant Hill's doing his best to channel his pre-2000 self and J-Rich has been lights out; if this team can keep up their high-octane act, they'll be a team nobody will want to face in the postseason. Regardless, League Pass owners everywhere are thankful.

- While alleged Clippers savior Blake Griffin (I say that not doubting his ability but aware of just how much it'll take to rescue a franchise as historically fucked-up as the Clippers) has yet to see the court, one of the draft's biggest question marks has silenced any doubters with his unreal play. Many questioned Brandon Jennings' unprecedented decision to spend his mandated year out of high school overseas; a loophole that the NBA overlooked when it banned prep-to-pro draftees a few years back. Brandon decided to get his; getting paid lots of money to play in a league that would test his endurance and talent more than the NCAA, and broaden his horizons in a distant country. So far, few would question his decision, but the success of his groundbreaking moveis no doubt going to usher in a new wave of college-ducking prep stars like Kevin Garnett did in '95. Some will flourish, others will fail, and before long the League will intervene to protect its teams from Rubio-esque contract wars. While we can, let's appreciate the beauty of Brandon Jennings' independence (dude drops 55 in a comeback win a week into his rookie season?), and wish Jeremy Tyler the same luck.

- So who's looking the best out of the gate? The prohibitive favorites have been getting mixed results: Boston's looking very thorough with KG's role rescinded and Big Baby in streets; their goal is sustainability, but a healthy season might also mean a #1 seed the way they're playing. The Magic and Cavs have both looked lost while losing some very winnable games, and the Spurs have been equal parts hurt and surprisingly flat. The Nuggets are playing even more legit than last year; Melo's inner superstar seems to have finally conquered his inner 4-year-old and he's scoring at will. This may be the season he demands inclusion among Wade and Lebron as the league's best, and the deep playoff run Denver's capable of won't hurt his cause. If we're talking a favorite though, nobody's stepped up enough to steal that status from the Lakeshow. Kobe's been unreal in helping maintain LA's championship swag with Pau on the bench and their bench on the wrong side of mediocre. With Gasol back and showing no ill effects, Bynum finally beasting like he's capable of, and question mark Ron Artest being more of a comma than an exclamation point, they can now look to truly hit their stride and rule the West again.