The All-League Pass Team

As most of you already know, NBA League Pass is probably the greatest invention since the wheel and has revolutionized the way we watch our favorite game (and if you don't, you really need to).

Not only are all games available at the touch of a button, but teams and players who were seldom seen outside the quiet realms of local TV are now being exposed to a national audience, their status only further proliferating with the explosion of social media and the (awesome) sudden ability for the random thoughts of JR Smith to make him an internet celebrity. 

The excessive abundance of selection forces one to prioritize: There's certain players who are simply must-see additions to any well-balanced night of NBA channel-surfing; guys who for a variety of reasons - both related to their basketball skills and otherwise - are simply too entertaining to pass up. 

The regular season's winding down, and awards are due out soon. So as a warm-up, here's a nod to the excellence of those who, night in and night out, kept us on the edge of our seats; who threaten to do something completely unforgettable whenever they step onto the court: The All-League Pass Team

Close Cuts - Michael Beasley (the prototype for a "guy who should be really good, is amusing to watch from an unintentional hilarity point of view, but ultimately too frustrating), Gerald Green (stopped dunking a lot/playing basketball well), Ricky Rubio (spent too much of this year injured/on early curfew), Tim Duncan and Kobe Bryant (as amazing as they are at this age, it's not like we're seeing anything new from them), Steph Curry (casualty of an elite PG class), Josh Smith (has toned down his dunking, can no longer fight w/ Mike Woodson nightly), JR Smith (has toned down his erratic shooting and refuses to fight w/ Mike Woodson nightly), Tony Allen (one of the NBA's best players at losing the ball on the way to the hoop, regaining possession, drawing contact from an innocent bystander and completing the and-one defenders) the J. Crawfords (painful exclusions), Blake Griffin (a unanimous pick if Lebron and Durant weren't having two of the best seasons in recent memory) and DeMarcus Cousins (I really enjoy watching highly-skilled big men who regularly scream at their teammates mid-game for not getting them the ball enough, but every time I tune into a Kings game, I'm expecting to hear he's caught a CDT suspension and isn't with the team)

and now without further ado, the 2013 All-League Pass Team:

G - Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers  

Only so much needs to be said about the brilliance of a player who consistently averages more steals than turnovers and is a Lebron James-in-his-prime away from being the NBA's most complete offensive player. Paul - in his awe-imposing physical stature - regularly and methodically destroys opposing defenses however he sees fit, utilizing his own seemingly endless arsenal of moves, while also conducting a smooth-flowing basketball symphony, helping teammates hit high notes they couldn't without him. He plays with a tremendous IQ and the leadership ability to make it permeate through the rest of a once-mocked franchise that's considered among the legit contenders. It's must-see TV.

G - Russell Westbrook, Oklahoma City Thunder

Westbrook's (by a very wide margin) the sharpest double-edge entertainment threat in professional basketball. Not only is he an insanely athletic, skilled and well-built guard who goes hard every game and is never short on highlight-reel material, but he's also one of the League's most highly-combustible players, prone to emotional blowups and occasional spans of on-court judgement that force you to question his mental development. There's very few point guards who cram on seven-footers as regularly and casually as Westbrook, and even fewer who've let a 5-second violation create a fight during and timeout and then flee to the locker room in distress. When their team was up 20. 

F- Lebron James, Miami Heat
This weighs on me personally because I don't want to watch the Miami Heat. I hate most things about their team, and find myself rooting against them in 99% of games. Despite this, the rational side of me usually wrestles some screen time for South Beach, because despite my feelings, it's hard to turn away. They play an engaged, unique, and energetic brand of basketball that's well-executed and (pretty much naturally) produces more than its share of poster shots. While the entire team has been playing out of their minds - not only individually but as a unit - a lot of this stems from Lebron James quite simply dominating this game on a level right now that only Michael Jordan has ever exceeded. Plain and simple. And if you don't want to watch that, then you're not a basketball fan.

F - Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder
"Video Game Mode" is a term that's been gaining some steam in sports conversations these days. For those born after 1980 and not living in Siberia, it's an obvious reference, but in case you're a Siberian NBA fan, "Video Game Mode" is an homage to NBA Jam/Courtside with Kobe Bryant/Hangtime/Live/Street/ 2KWhatever, and the unrealistically good play spawned therein. Whether through poor game design, the "Easy" difficulty setting and "Off" fatigue toggling, a user calling his superstar's number on every single play, or the sudden ability to leap 40 feet in the air for a quintuple-flip while igniting the ball in flames during a dunk, players just seemed to be able to do a lot of shit that just seemed... Skeptical. This term most often applies to cases of overt offensive dominance, where a particular player shows a ruthless unwillingness to miss, as though he's discovered a cheat code that sends every shot out his hands straight through the mesh. This term also most often applies to Kevin Durant, which is why he's a no-brainer starter on this team.

C - Javale McGee, Denver Nuggets
What Javale McGee has managed to do with his NBA career is truly fascinating. He exists in the minds of some as much (and in others even more) a social media entity as an actual basketball player. McGee became a staple of the YouTube/Twitter generation with his death-defying dunk attempts, and displays of general cluelessness both on-court (sprinting back on D when his own team had possession, or perhaps nearly killing James Jones after attempting to jump over him from the foul line and dunk), and on the mic (making an ambiguously-racist, live-national-TV reference to a certain Shaquille O'Neal segment), while confounding coaches with his inconsistent play. Javale is helping to maintain the NBA's social media profile with his tomes of wisdom and sagacious antics is almost like a second job; the Denver Nuggets are paying him a shade under $11 million this season, and bringing him off the bench for 18 minutes/game, so he has plenty of time on his hands. You might think such sparse appearances would make him a longshot for this team, but call McGee this team's "character guy" - if you're only looking at his on-court production, you're missing the whole picture.

Enter The GrindHouse - Denver vs The Grizz

The Memphis Grizzlies have been the talk of this young NBA season, reeling off a string of impressive wins over tough competition, which has earned them the early consensus of Top Dog while the picture continues to take form. The Grizz have been scoring more easily while playing a suffocating team defense that gleans back to the '08 Celtics (note the Tony Allen connection), balancing the scoring with Russian Roulette-like variance and appear to be clicking on most (if not all) cylinders through the whole rotation.

This can be blamed on a whole array of things, from Zach Randolph's apparent P90x training, to he and Rudy Gay having more time to gel on-court, the relentless bench production, the bitter taste of Playoff disaster lingering in their mouths all summer, OJ Mayo being in a different uniform, Marc Gasol channeling Mark Jackson, Mike Conley looking every bit worth the contract I spit out half my tea (yes, I drink tea) upon reading he signed...

Of course, as is with every team that exceeds pre-season projections, the question is: can they keep it up? Tonight, the Grizz face off against the Nuggets; a team many see them fighting for playoff position with, as they chase a franchise-record 9th straight win. Banter's got the play-by-play: welcome to the GrindHouse.

- Zach Randolph hit with a delay of game warning before tipoff. Astounding.

- Tony Allen "looking for his offense early but not shooting the ball very well". Not so astounding.

- The Grizz's first bucket comes off a nice Conley 3 after Gasol gets crowded in the high post and (as usual) finds the open man. Hitting the 3 has been one of Memphis' new weapons; should be of note tonight against a reputedly tough Nuggets' perimeter D

- Lebron James is the only non-guard with more assists this year than Marc Gasol. That's just impressive, even nine games in.

- Grizz timeout early after their effort on D looks very Knick-like

- Midway through the first, the Grizz have been attacking the post and the Nuggets have been hitting easy jumpers. Knotted at 11.

- Again, Denver's defenders overload the post, leave the top of the perimeter wide open, and get stung with a 3, this time by Rudy Gay.

- Iggy with the game's first dunk; a nice 2-handed baseline reverse off a pump fake that just looks TOO casual for what it is.

- Enter: Quincy Pondexter. This is bad news for you, Denver.

- Memphis has been murdering the offensive glass early, but having a player named "The Manimal" is a great equalizer. He forces two second-chance points to cap a Denver run that gives them a 17-14 lead... Until a Mike Conley 3 from the corner in transition knots it again.

- Lotta turnovers by Memphis, and Denver isn't playing particularly great D

- The Grizz are just murdering the Nuggets down low right now, between offensive-rebounds and feebly-contested penetration, it's been ugly, and every time Denver's stacked the key to compensate, they've given up an open 3. Memphis at their best is certainly not a team you want to play small-ball against, and...

- Yes! stealing my thought, George Karl has checked Javale McGee into the game over the break. Instant entertainment spike. On cue, McGee catches an Andre Miller backdoor lob.

- Enter: the rest of Memphis' super-subs, Speights, Bayless and Ellington.

- McGee confusedly dribbles into a triple-team with no teammates within 15 feet, jumps as if he's going to try and dunk over everyone from the dotted line, and gets stripped. Such a majestic game.

- The pace picks up as Speights finishes a near-dunk over Brewer on the break to give Memphis the lead, but a pair of free throws put Denver back up 27-26 after 1 quarter.

- The announcers talking about Memphis' "15-game home winning streak" makes me laugh. Let's just conveniently forget about the Playoffs and that 27-point 4th Quarter collapse. At home. Led by Nick Young.

- Both teams come out of the gates running in the 2nd, looking to set the tone. The result? More turnovers. McGee appears to have Pondexter sealed in the post, but falls over while establishing position after Miller creates what in his mind is another easy bucket. The ball rolls by - just out of his massive reach - and the Grizz get back and score in transition.

- Commercial break: 32-32.

- After the break, McGee is curiously absent.

- Jordan Hamilton checks in, tries to make a move off the pass, and blatantly travels. The announcer deadpans: "It does not end well for him".

- 3 more Memphis turnovers to start the 2nd. Hard to score at that rate.

- When they're not losing the ball, the Grizz are finding Randolph for nice looks in the post; keeping it simple, exploiting the edge.

- Pondexter cages the Manimal, taking a charge on the break well ahead of the play; the kind of consistent gritty effort we've learned to expect from them.

- Gallinari catches a lob into the post off a switch with Miller and finishes maybe the toughest shot of his career over three Grizzlies; game's high scorer with 9. Not to be outdone, Gay comes back and sticks one of those 3's that makes the rim mic twang; game's high scorer with 11.

- "Danillo Gallinari, who did NOTHING against the Grizzlies in three games last year, has been the man of the match for the Nuggets so far." Flattering. 45-45 with 2:37 left in the half. Very tight game so far, but if Memphis could just take care of the f***ing ball, they'd be not only scoring more (clearly) but preventing the  fast breaks that have led to fouls and enough of Denver's points.

- The Nuggets have been playing some very sloppy transition ball themselves; numerous lucky deflections are the only reason they're still in single-digit TOs.

- A couple pretty bad no-call fouls have the GrindHouse raining boos on the refs, and the Grizzlies trailing 52-49. The Nuggets are shooting are 54% and the Grizz's D looks about as confused as you would if you saw a grizzly bear in the city of Memphis.

- Time for some blueberry pancakes while some Grizzlies "legend" gives weak halftime analysis.

- Players I pictured doing that segment: Bonzi Wells, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Blue Edwards

- Tip for blueberry pancakes, put more emphasis on the "blueberry", less on the "pancake"

- The first half was scrappy; the 2nd half at first impression won't be any different.

- Faried picks up 2 quick fouls - terrible news for the Nuggets as he now has 4. Karl isn't calling anyone off the bench though...oh...no...wait...here comes...JAVALE MCGEE! Who immediately throws up an awkward runner, but gets his own rebound over everyone for an easy putback, hardly jumping.

- Curious officiating. A lot of close calls going against Memphis nebulously, and a lot of swallowed whistles on close fouls. The Grizz are laughing, but what else can you do?

- More exploiting the post from Memphis; Denver's countered with a Koufos/McGee frontline that's getting confused on switches more than contesting shots.

- By the way, a quick shoutout to NBA League Pass for leaving this game and the Clippers/Spurs tilt untouched while blacking out the thrilling Magic/Hawks showdown. A rare treat.

- Memphis has grinded away, back to a 67-64 lead. As advertised their scoring is balanced: Gasol leads three in double-figures, Bayless has 9, Conley has 8, and only Ellington has yet to score.

- While Mcgee isn't doing much to prevent Gasol from scoring, he's at least answering with a few nice post moves of his own. There might be hope yet for the kid...

- A contested Corey Brewer 3 goes in (somehow) to bring Denver within one; 70-69 Grizz at the end of three.

- McGee's single greatest attribute might be his length allowing him to contest every single rebound; Z-Bo's working on the glass like Ruth's Chris is full and they lost his reservation.

- Nuggets on an 11-3 run up 73-70 early; the bench getting it done. Andre Miller's presence at least triple's McGee's value on offense.

- Admission: I went into this saying to myself "try not to talk about Javale McGee the whole game". Fail.

- If "50/50 balls" were an actual statistical category, Denver would just be completely pummeling Memphis. Then there's the 17 offensive rebounds - in which the Nuggets lead the NBA - but damn. The Manimal is just wreaking havoc.

- Speaking of which, Gay pulls down a board off a Pondexter miss for an uncontested two-handed slam that sends Denver to a time-out clinging to a 79-76 lead, and puts some much-needed wind back in Memphis' sails. It's their first bucket in the paint so far in the 4th, coming at 7:39.

- Conley for 3! Ties the game, validates that contract juuuuuuust a bit more. Gay swats a Ty Lawson floater on the other end, and Memphis is starting to bring out that energy. Tony Allen sinks two at the line and Grizz are up 83-81.

- The refs blow another call (a loose ball Faried knocks out - I swear, he chases every loose ball like he's a Season 3 Wire extra after "that WMD", the refs should just employ a "Faried rule" for sketchy plays they're not sure of)  that leads to a tying bucket for Denver.

- LEAVE TONY ALLEN OPEN FROM 18 FEET! I DARE YOU! Grizzlies up 87-83

- Allen makes a slightly less valuable play, getting T'd up for pulling Faried's hair after they fought for a loose ball. The ensuing free throw knot the game yet again at 87; the 12th time tonight.

- The refs blow another call (God this game's getting repetitive), but tony Brothers steps in off the ball to set things straight and cut Memphis some slack, after they've been on the bum end of virtually every close/blown call.

- The Grizz run an extremely dangerous play with Gasol isolated in the high post and slashers from the right baseline and flashing on the left perimeter. Rudy streaks baseline, Gasol with the beautiful drop pass, and-one.

- The quizzical officiating continues as McGee grabs Gasol's jersey while they fight for a rebound, and Gasol gets nailed with the call.

- I love how the GrindHouse routinely plays the instrumental to "Yonkers" in the 4th quarter. Apparently, Tyler does too:

Tyler, The Creator ‏@fucktyler

DUDE MY SONG WAS PLAYING DURING A FUCKING BASKETBALL GAME!!! THATS TIGHT CAUSE I DONT REALLY KNOW SHIT ABOUT BASKETBALL BUT HELL YEAH

- With the game under 2 minutes and Memphis up 92-90, the two teams trade deadly offensive possessions: a Tony Allen running pump scoop over 2 defenders with the shot clock dwindling, and an Iggy 3 off a broken play. Deadly.

- The offensive glass continues to be Denver's savior; two straight 2nd chance opportunities put them back up 93-92. Javale Mcgee, ladies and gentlemen.

- Gay picks up his dribble in an iso set with nobody near him, awkwardly tries to lob the ball back out to Conley, and gets picked off by Gallinari, comes back down and drills what appears to be the dagger off a Lawson drive-and-kick. 96-92 with 12 seconds left.

- ANOTHER Grizzlies turnover. Laaaaaate.

- Final score 97-92, the Nuggets end the Grizzlies' "15-game home winning streak", sending them to 8-2 after a pretty flat performance.

I recall reading a Randolph quote a few days ago, something about his team "thriving off the underdog role". Well tonight, they certainly played like a team who knew they were 8-1; they were too casual on offense, and turned the ball over a lot. They didn't challenge shots very well, and Denver hit a lot of them. Their effort on glass was so shoddy that Denver grabbed 21 offensive boards, which led to virtually all of their key baskets down the stretch. The officiating wasn't great, but Memphis did themselves no favors along the way to disappointing first home loss.

This wasn't the Grizz we've seen over the past few weeks; this team looked lost, careless and lethargic more often tonight than in their past eight games combined. Maybe this is just a crack in the proverbial windshield, but these kinds of lapses in effort are reminiscent of the Game 1 Incident, and the Grizzlies simply aren't talented enough to win a best-of-seven against a team like the Lakers - whom they face next on Friday - playing this carelessly. Three days off until then, hopefully they can get it together.

Javale Mcgee Knows No Fear

One of the many highlights of League Pass this season has been getting to watch Javale Mcgee on a regular basis. Washington's highly athletic, highly inconsistent starting centre is truly unique. He's versatile; comfortable both posting and facing up far from the basket, where his go-to move is typically an unconscious dribble in the general area of the hoop, followed by a long-jump-style leap into an awkward floater over 3 defenders, while Andray Blatche and Al Thornton stand wide open in disgust. It's absolutely hilarious. (Every now and then, when he's motivated, he turns into a one-man shot-blocking production line, sending anything that comes near the net into the 20th row, but back to the point...)

Last week, the Wiz were being completely waxed by the Kings in a mundane affair that obviously left Mcgee craving more excitement. In the game's waning moments, he found himself on a wide open break, decided to attempt a free-throw line dunk, and missed it as horribly and awkwardly as humanly possible (...and believe me, I know a thing or two about embarrassing missed dunks).

Evidently, the jeers from the crowd, the laughs from his teammates, and the dubious internet stardom (his shank was featured on Yahoo's homepage, among other places) haven't phased him. A few nights later, well...if you haven't seen this already, you really need to just take it in and come up with your own ridiculous adjective for it; the title says it well. This guy might be my new favourite player in the league.