Banter's 2014-15 NBA Preview

"Guess who's back in the muthafuckin' house..."


What's up everyone, hope your summer went better than Paul George's.

Banter took another prolonged sabbatical this offseason as I helped open up a restaurant and was otherwise heavily devoted to my traditional summer routine of Beer-BQs, cottage parties, Floatie Nation, and aggressive patio-surfing.

But as it tends to in Canada, the weather's grown crappier of late, conveniently coinciding with the buildup to an event I fiend for like a hyperactive child does Christmas morning: the start of the NBA Season. Pro basketball's return is a perfect excuse for me to me to spend more time inside, avoiding the eventual snow, wind and -20 abyss, while binge-watching League Pass like a perpetual Netflix series.

The NBA has its own prime-time drama's worth of compelling storylines this year; from LeBron's "Return" to KD's sudden injury (#BasedGodCurse), D-Rose's latest comeback, a loaded rookie class, and the Zen Master's attempt to rescue the New York Knicks. Anthony Davis will continue evolving into a MUTO, James Harden's defense will continue amusing us, and we'll be served up steady script material for the inevitable Kobe-Nick Young buddy comedy. We'll get to devise some "Lob City"-ish nickname for the T-Wolves, sweat a Western Conference that's somehow even more competitive than last year's, and rejoice that the Charlotte Hornets - albeit minus the pinstriped teal - exist again. Not to mention there's a wide-open race for the Larry O; the Spurs have plenty of hungry foes aiming for the crown.

So what can we expect amid all the excitement? Here's Banter's preview, starting with the Top 9 Bold Predictions for 2014-15:

DISCLAIMER: As Grantland tends to do, they beat me to the punch with a recent article that makes predictions about every possible angle of the upcoming season (33 in all). Unavoidably, some of their thought processes overlap with mine, but their logic did nothing to influence what you're about to read. Every prediction I've made here was drafted before their article was published. 

9. Dwyane Wade will begin unraveling

I placed this so low because it's sort of already started happening, but I see the next few months as the beginning of the end. Wade's played his career with the reckless abandon of an NFL running back, and as I'd seen coming miles away, the strain caught up with him sooner than any Heat "fan" had hoped. Even as LeBron's second fiddle last year, he was only effective when rested, and wore down disturbingly quickly as the Playoff intensity took its toll.

So what's to be of him now that the best player alive is no longer his running mate? He won't be able to take as many games off, and will be counted on more and more each night for Miami to remain competitive, increasing the demands on his body. He'll turn 33 before the All-Star break, and age is a much greater factor for someone with Wade's checkered injury history. There's several factors working against him concurrently; all added up, it could spell the untimely demise of a truly special player.


8. The Raptors will continue to rise

Being a Canadian, I by default hear more about the Raptors than just about any NBA team, especially now that they're finally relevant on the league-wide scene. I've faced many questions about whether they've plateaued with this roster, or whether they'll improve, and I'm highly convinced that their ceiling hasn't been reached for several reasons:

1) They'll benefit from the continuity of bringing back an almost identical rotation (swapping Lou Williams in for John Salmons is hardly a crucial shift). 2) They'll be playing with more of a purpose; an experienced squad looking to avenge a bitter playoff upset, rather than riding a momentum wave as a surprise overachiever. And most importantly; 3) With the exception of Kyle Lowry (who's never played better basketball), their whole roster still undeniably has growth and improvement to realize before hitting their prime.

They're young, they're hungry, and while we can't expect Toronto to finish any higher in the East (with the Conference's top 4-5 teams becoming much better overall), there's no reason the Raptors shouldn't be rising with the tide.


7. In-season job security among NBA head coaches will remain record-high

Last season's startlingly-low total of one axed coach leveled off this summer when more bodies hit the floor than the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan. Looking around the NBA, there doesn't appear to be many coaches left on the proverbial "hot seat". As noted above, many teams - the Knicks, Warriors, Nets, Bucks, Jazz, Cavs, Pistons and Lakers - have undergone coaching changes since April, meaning their new guys will get a fair bit of patience.

Elsewhere, there's plenty of coaches who will never, ever be fired (Pop, Thibs, etc), are doing very well in new roles (Jeff Hornacek, Mike Bundeholzer, Steve Clifford), recently survived a front-office shredding (Dave Jeorger), have the co-sign from rebuilding franchises (Brett Brown, Brad Stevens) or who probably would've been fired already if it were going to happen (Kevin McHale, Frank Vogel, Scott Brooks). So sleep easy, NBA coaches, there probably won't be many of you getting canned this season.

6. The Trade Deadline will be a dud again
Perhaps the dominant theme from this summer was the notion that the Free Agency period has almost become its own season, engulfing the trade market and making (most) teams far less anxious to pull the trigger on mid-season deals. That trend is almost certainly going to amplify in the coming months.

Thanks to the NBA's new multi-quadrillion-dollar TV deal,  the salary cap (as currently projected) will undergo far-and-away its biggest single-year increase in history next summer, giving almost every team cap room, and leading any player with wiggle room in his contract to opt out and cash in. The market is going to be absolutely ridiculous next July, so while a few contenders might be looking to tweak their lineups come February, the vast majority of teams will be biding their time and slow-playing their hands.

5. Rajon Rondo will be traded to the Houston Rockets

First off: Rondo's gonna get dealt this year, don't kid yourself. His recent trade request is the final nail in a coffin Danny Ainge had been slowly building for the past few seasons by dangling him at every opportunity. Rondo's injury last season (resulting in a temporary trade value dip) is probably the only reason he's still a Celtic. With Kevin Love off the trade slate, Rondo is the lone All-Star who's openly available right now, and if he's going to be traded (which he is) Houston is the most logical destination.

Not only do the Rockets fancy themselves contenders (though they currently have no chance in hell of even making it out of the Playoffs' first round), but they just took a step back this offseason, that included whiffing on several would-be star signings. They must be feeling somewhat desperate right now, and have enough assets to cobble together an attractive offer for Boston (something like Pat Beverley, Terrence Jones, a few of the shitload of draft picks they have stashed, and cash). They also have one of the most ballsy and persistent GMs in the NBA; they'll pursue this. Pairing Rondo with James Harden and Dwight Howard also makes sense on paper; a versatile PG who can quell Harden's shitty defense without depleting his shot count, and has a dangerous penetrate-and-kick game that fits Morey's "key or three" model very well.

4. The Indiana Pacers will miss the Playoffs; it won't even really be close

Toss up: what was the uglier tumble, Paul George's gruesome crash landing into a basket support, or the fall from grace Indiana's been in the midst of since last February? Already mired in an identity crisis that ruined last season, the reigning #1 seed lost George and Lance Stephenson, and will field easily the weakest offensive squad in the NBA this season.

This team will be comically terrible in its efforts to score; David West is their only consistent threat, and defense-belying Rodney Stuckey will likely see heavy minutes just to keep them afloat. Roy Hibbert can't be counted on, George Hill's unproven as a score-first guard, and Luis Scola was basically a Walking Dead extra for most of last year. Even if Chris Copeland comes out on some PED shit, it's going to be a painfully dull season in Indiana.

3. The Knicks' revival will get off to a slow start

Much like the Pacers will struggle to score, the Knicks will struggle to prevent their opponents from doing it to them at will. New York was atrocious defensively last season, and of course, addressed the problem by trading their former DPOY for a center with positioning A.D.D (Sam Dalembert), and one of the two or three worst defensive point guards in the NBA (Jose Calderon). Surround them with guys like JR Smith, Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire (who've never been committed defenders), and Andrea Bargnani (not even going there), and there's no hope of them stopping anyone. Iman Shumpert can't do it all by himself. The Zen Master's rebuild looks more like a 2-3 year plan.

2. Anthony Davis will come very close to winning the MVP

There's a perfect storm of momentum drumming up this year that will almost lift Davis to the game's most exalted individual honor. First off, he's really fucking good, and getting better every month; he's going to absolutely wreck shit on both sides of the ball this year. Second, the Pelicans are going to be better than anyone thinks; they'll win 45+ games and are a rival injury away from being a Playoff Team in the West. Third, and I hate using this excuse because it shouldn't be valid, but there will inevitably be a wave of boredom bias from media who are tired of the LeBron vs. KD debate, and will look to inject new blood into the MVP race. As we all know, some of the voters aren't exactly the most enlightened minds, and will get swept up the hoopla regardless of how deserving Davis may be. It probably won't be enough to tip the scales, but it's gonna be damn close. 

1. The Spurs will repeat
More on this in a second...

EAST STANDINGS                                       WEST STANDINGS
1. Chicago Bulls                                                1. San Antonio Spurs
2. Cleveland Cavaliers                                      2. Los Angeles Clippers
3. Washington Wizards                                     3. Oklahoma City Thunder
4. Toronto Raptors                                            4. Memphis Grizzlies
5. Charlotte Hornets                                          5. Golden State Warriors
6. Miami Heat                                                   6. Portland Trail Blazers
7. Brooklyn Nets                                               7. Houston Rockets
8. Atlanta Hawks                                               8. Dallas Mavericks
9. Detroit Pistons                                               9. New Orleans Pelicans
10. New York Knicks                                       10. Phoenix Suns
11. Indiana Pacers                                             11. Denver Nuggets
12. Orlando Magic                                            12. Los Angeles Lakers
13. Boston Celtics                                             13. Minnesota Timberwolves
14. Milwaukee Bucks                                       14. Sacramento Kings
15. Philadelphia 76ers                                       15. Utah Jazz

East Finals: Cavs over Bulls                           West Finals: Spurs over Thunder

Rookie of the Year: Jabari Parker
This one's a no-brainer. Easily the most NBA-ready rookie in terms of skill set and polish, Parker gets dumped on a decrepit roster (especially on offense) where he'll be the undisputed man. He's a heavy favorite for this award, and anyone who tells you otherwise is either being a contrarian or experiencing a mild seizure.
Contenders: Marcus Smart, Andrew Wiggins, Nerlens Noel 

Defensive Player of the Year: Anthony Davis

As mentioned above, Davis is growing more into his immeasurable potential seemingly by the game. Watching his evolution is truly special (or terrifying if you're affiliated with any of the other 29 teams); he grasps such vast aspects of basketball stupidly quick, and shifts between them seamlessly like he's just discovered a cheat code in a video game. His specialty of course is making life hell for opposing offenses pretty much anywhere inside the arc. With Omer Asik now patrolling the low post, Davis is going get an absolutely mind-numbing amount of weak-side blocks this year, and many more off the lost fools who try to actually score on him. We're likely looking at the highest stocks average (word to Bill Simmons) since Hakeem the Dream, and for that, the Brow gets the DPOY.
Contenders: Joakim Noah, Serge Ibaka, LeBron James

Sixth Man of the Year: Isaiah Thomas
Now that the Suns finally came to their senses and paid Eric Bledsoe, Thomas figures to be a highly over-qualified backup as the third "starting" point guard on their roster. Though he's drastically under-sized and will only see minutes at the true PG spot, he's bound to work his way into a bunch of quirky Jeff Hornacek lineups, where he'll be an instant dose of scoring on a high-octane roster. So long as he and Dragic don't share the floor for extended stretches against attacking two guards (and there's fewer of them today than there's ever been in the NBA), it shouldn't be hard to make this odd PGx3 rotation work in the Suns' favor.
Contenders: Jamal Crawford, Pau Gasol/Taj Gibson, whichever Pelican winds up not starting

Coach of the Year: David Blatt
I always love (read: fucking hate) trying to predict this award because it's so subjective and results-oriented that picking someone this far in advance is a general waste of time. Usually, it goes to a coach who overcame a serious hurdle to have a successful season, over-performed greatly, or - as was the case last year - was so clearly head-and-shoulders above the competition that he had to be crowned. Gregg Popovich's much-deserved love-fest hit its apex with their much-lauded Finals romp last June; it seems pretty unlikely that he'll repeat while still basking in the afterglow of his finest hour. So I'm putting my money on David Blatt, because Cleveland's going to be very good, and anyone - LeBron or no LeBron - will look good filling Mike Brown's shoes.
Contenders: Tom Thibodeau, Stan Van Gundy, Rick Carlisle

Most Improved Player: Giannis Antetokounmpo
This is the year he makes a huge leap. He's got a full season of NBA play and conditioning under his belt, has figured out a fair deal about his capabilities, can focus on games instead of answering a zillion stupid questions about his hand size and his name's pronunciation, and has just been handed the keys to his team's starting PG spot by one of the position's all-time greats. The sky's the limit for a kid with such gazelle-like athleticism and diverse skill set, and 2014-15 should see it all come together.
Contenders: Anthony Bennett, Terrence Jones, Victor Oladipo

Most Valuable Player: LeBron James 
1. He's the best player alive.
2. Everyone and their grandma's back on his nuts after he came back to Cleveland.
3. The Cavs might have some adjustment issues at first, but are still a mortal lock for a top-2 seed in the suddenly-not-so-pitiful East.
4. Kevin Durant's going to miss the season's first month+ and will be shaking off his foot injury for the next few weeks after that.
5. Anthony Davis - explosion of momentum and dominance aside - isn't quite there yet.
6. I have as good a chance of winning this award as any remaining NBA player.
Contenders: Anthony Davis, Kevin Durant

All-Rookie Teams
First:  G-Marcus Smart, G-Andrew Wiggins, F-Jabari Parker, F-Aaron Gordon, C-Nerlens Noel
Second: G- Nik Stauskas, G-Rodney Hood, F-Doug McDermott, F-Adreian Payne, C-Mitch McGary

All-Defense Teams
First: G-Chris Paul, G-Tony Allen, F-Anthony Davis, F-Serge Ibaka, C-Joakim Noah
Second: G-Mike Conley, G-Kyle Lowry, F-LeBron James, F-Kawhi Leonard, C-Marc Gasol

All-NBA Teams
First: G-Chris Paul, G-Russell Westbrook, F-LeBron James, F-Anthony Davis, C-Dwight Howard
Second: G-Steph Curry, G-James Harden, F-Kevin Durant, F-LaMarcus Aldridge, C-Marc Gasol
Third: G-Damian Lillard, G-Bradley Beal, F-Carmelo Anthony, F-Blake Griffin, C-Al Jefferson

NBA Champions: San Antonio Spurs

And, I mean, why bet against them? They have by far the best coach in the NBA, by far the deepest and most cohesive team unit, and by far the most experience down the stretch of the Playoffs. Through a combination of magic elixirs and Pop's playing-time constraints, they've combated the aging of their stars flawlessly. Their reigning Finals MVP is a timid giant-killer who's only scratching the surface of consistent dominance. And they'll be playing with plenty of motivation to send Timmy D off into the sunset with a title in what's surely his last NBA season.

Cleveland may get it together (though they're going to suffer heavily on defense), Chicago may hold it together (though a lot is going to depend on D-Rose's shaky knees and rusty jumper), the Thunder will no doubt dump Kendrick Perkins' expiring deal at the Deadline for a useful upgrade, and the Clippers might be a viable threat this year without the Sterling Saga distracting them at the worst possible time. But for now, I see the Spurs as the team to beat, and look forward to having a team prove me wrong, because anyone who beats this team over seven games will truly deserve the title.

Here's to another awesome NBA season.

Top 9s: The Tank Brigade

Welcome to the Tank Brigade; where the race for professional basketball's worst record is heating up.

Tanking has never been trendier; a shift induced not only by the massive talent pool in next year's Draft, but by a dynamic historical precedent. Not only does it (with very rare exception) take elite talent to win an NBA title - we're talking at least one bonafide Top-10 guy - but with stars aligning in big cities and taking salary cuts to help their teams dodge the cap, it's never been harder for small market/less established teams to land the best players.

The mentality that competing for a low Playoff spot is the League's worst position has never been so prevalent, leading most teams to shoot for the stars, or lie down in the dirt. While the likes of the Thunder and Pacers battle for the Association's best record, there's a more subtle fight in full force. One for the best odds in a gamble to determine a complete gutterball of a season's ultimate worth.

The very worst team stands only a 1 in 4 chance of landing the top pick on a record-based scale, and even a loaded Draft class like the one upon us can have its busts.The Lottery is still very much a gamble. This is degeneracy at its highest stakes; snuffing seasons and making fans wait on a relative dice roll. In a league where owners spent a lockout griping about "competitive parity" just over two years ago.

Some franchises are more or less banking on a lottery miracle, while others have set themselves up nicely for whatever they net in this Draft to join a promising foundation; stockpiling other assets and clearing cap space.

So here are the NBA's Nine worst teams as of today, ranked from worst to first in order of how well they've managed through this whole "Tanking" thing:

9. New York Knicks
Woops.

So this season hasn't been great for the Knicks; the kind that's swiftly gone from alarming, to laughable, to downright tragic.

Their presence here is dubious for any number of reasons, from their Playoff ambitions and gaudy payroll, to the future picks they stupidly dealt, crippling their rebuilding effort. The Knicks will have no first-round pick this season, or in 2016; saved by the Stepien Rule from burying themselves deeper.

They've also traded a slew of second-rounders, to make sage, competitively-priced acquisitions like Andrea Bargnani. This was a total dud of the contract that the Raptors were just praying to unload on some GM who, like most of America, had mostly ignored them and didn't know just how bad Bargs was. Then along comes New York, offering to give them three draft picks, along with cheaper, shorter-term deals, to take him off their hands.

They literally yanked their own safety net before nose-diving down the East standings, and now face an offseason of many questions, with no idea where to begin on an answer.

8. New Orleans Pelicans 
The Pels bought up their own stock prematurely, and currently owning the NBA's second-longest losing streak, are cruising towards an early summer, likely with no redemption in sight.

Like the Knicks, they mortgaged their Lottery equity for current assets, figuring their team to be better and the pick much lower. Sure enough, as soon as you could say "Point Guard Injury Epidemic" and "Tyreke Evans was a waste of money", the Pelicans tilted the scales of the Jrue Holiday deal heavily.

Unless they luck out and land in the top-5, Philly will get the Pels' first-rounder, ironically in exchange for the very player whose absence (along with Ryan Anderson) made this pick become so attractive.

So far, we've learned that Tanking is mostly sub-optimal strategy when you've given away your Draft picks and are among the worst teams by accident.


7. Sacramento Kings
That so much of Sacramento's next season lies in Rudy Gay's $19million player option is a mildly terrifying predicament, especially for a rebuilding team that gave up a bunch of expiring deals for him.

Working in their favor is that Gay has been playing arguably the best ball of his career, able to dominate the rock and shoot with no conscience on a team with low expectations. This might lean him towards putting himself on the market now while his stock's high; locking up another deal before he's dealt to a stricter team ('Rudy Gay's Expiring Contract' would be the most-floated piece in trade rumors next year) and his shot selection becomes an international punchline again.

With Boogie beasting, and a reasonable cap scenario long-term, this could be a solid team in a few years if the pieces come together properly, but so far the movement under new owner Vivek Ranadive has been mostly lateral.

6. Utah Jazz
The Jazz have done an outstanding job of clearing cap room and producing a 2013-14 on-court product that would surely suck enough to get a high Lotto pick.

The problem for them is they may have done it too well.

This team has few attractive pieces, with Enes Kanter, and to a lesser extent Derrick Favors, failing to make much of a leap in their expanded roles, and meshing poorly together as a tandem. Trey Burke will remain, as will Gordon Hayward (for a year, at least) but it's hardly enough to convince the kind of talent Utah's banking on to come spend most of their year in a trendy, must-visit NBA locale like Salt Lake City.

I'm predicting a Jazz offseason that exemplifies why not all cap space is created equal, and leaves them short on the Free Agent Haul.

5. Boston Celtics
The Celtics' season has been somewhat confounding. The two apparent objectives this year were: 1) Trade Rajon Rondo, and 2) Lose as many games as possible. The former didn't happen, and the latter only did after a counter-productively hot start under Brad Stevens.

The good news is that Stevens was an ace hire, and that several Celtics pieces - most notably Jared Sullinger - have seen a spike in value, both to the team and on the trade market. The bad news is that they still have to pay Gerald Wallace $20million over the next two years, and the continuing Rondo uncertainty makes their future very hard to define.

4. L.A. Lakers

The Lakers' range of possibilities for next season is extremely wide:

They currently have over half their cap next year (roughly $35million) invested in two guys who've each played less than ten games this year. That said, the latest round of Steve Nash retirement rumors seem more well-founded than in the past, possibly shaving $10m off the tab.

Since a very large chunk of their roster is off the books this summer, the Lakers (if Nash does hang 'em up) could have safely over $30million in cap space, along with a decent-at-worst Lottery pick.

How all that potential comes together is obviously a tricky variable; TinselTown has always been a favorite destination for big names, but there's no telling just how willing Player X will be to team with Kobe or commit to a rebuild.

With such a large window, the Lakers are sure to come back reloaded, but they only have to rewind their franchise one year to see how throwing a bunch of talent together can be an unmitigated disaster.

3. Milwaukee Bucks
John Hammond is a genius.

I don't say this in any facetious regard; I really think the guy's a mastermind. Last summer, the Bucks were staring an obvious rebuild in the face, with senile owner Herb Kohl demanding that the team stay "competitive" (read: pick in the late Lottery or get swept by Indiana/Miami).

Instead of condemning them to middling mediocrity, Hammond had a plan; he knew his owner was being an idiot, but he didn't want to get himself fired. So he went about his mandate under the appearance of legitimacy, inking deals and making trades that seemed aimed at the short-term, but weren't making Milwaukee any better . He even coerced sports' trendiest website into exaggerating his team's worth in their season preview.

Then when the curtains came up, the Bucks confirmed everyone's suspicions that they couldn't score. At all. Hammond then hired local goons to provoke new-signed defensive backbone Larry Sanders into injuring himself in a drunken nightclub meltdown. As a result, they own the NBA's worst record (/best Lottery odds), two promising prospects in John Henson and Giannis Antetokounmpo (it's his name, get over it), and little long-term financial commitment.

2. Orlando Magic
Few teams made being bad look as easy this season as the Magic, who have a bottom-3 record in the East and plenty going in their favor:

- they have two legitimate foundation pieces (Nik & Vic); they're the only serious tankers who can say that.

- their whole team is bathing in upside; a roster to which they'll add a potential stud in late June

- they have oodles of cap space, and play in Orlando, which between the sunshine, Disney World, and the lack of state income tax, is relatively prime Free Agent real estate


All added up, this should be a pretty quick turnaround for the Magic, which after Dwight Howard hijacked their franchise for 18 months, should come as comfort to their fans.

1. Philadelphia 76ers
THIS is how you suck. The Sixers have by far the largest pot of gold of at the end of this season's shit-rainbow.

First they snaked likely future-All Star Michael Carter-Williams late in last year's Lottery and had him miss a convenient amount of games. They'll get continued growth moving forward from a guy nobody thought would be this good. Then they whittled their payroll down to the bare bones; with somewhere between 17-32million on tap for next year, they'll be the least-constricted team in this summer's spending spree. All the while, losing almost methodically by playing a frenetic pace with a D-League roster.

The plot thickens with the oncoming arrival of potentially game-changing defensive center Nerlens Noel, along with (and here's the best part) not one, but two Lotto picks from the much-ogled 2014 Class. Not only do the 76ers have their own selection, but that of the Pelicans in the highly likely event it lands outside the Top 5.

After the Bynum disaster, the floor fell out beneath the Sixers quickly, but this team has enough going for it beyond this season that they'll likely wind up reaping the greatest spoils of the Tank Brigade.

Top 9s - PED Watch 2012

The Most Improved Player award is always one of the most exciting every season; not only did its recipient probably surprise us, but we got to watch someone make a name for themselves, forging a new star in the NBA that shone brighter than the many that battle for MIP every year.

As usual, the competition's been furious out of the gate, with many making bold claims that this is their year. Some do it for the team (injuries, new roles), some do it for self (playing time, contracts) and some do it out of pure love for the game, so here's a nod to the Top 9 guys who've taken their game (or HGH schedule - just kidding) to new heights: PED Watch 2012

9. Larry Sanders
It's taken a while for me not to picture Garry Shandling every time I hear this guy's name, but Sanders is making us forget all about subpar sitcoms with his play so far this year. Left with a void in their frontcourt by Ersan Ilyasova's inexplicably sudden crappiness (didn't seem like the "get paid and stop trying" type), Sanders has assumed a pivotal - and growing- role off the bench, providing capable mid-range scoring and staunch defense to backup their gamble-heavy perimeter. He plays with the all the hustle Ilyasova's lacked this year, so with increased playing time, his name (and face) could start to ring out much louder.

8. Kenneth Faried
Faried was a standout as a rookie last year, but is bending the NBA learning curve to his own standards this season, outweighing skill and size with raw motor and athleticism. The guy just does not stop moving on the court, and every single one of his steps or leaps is of benefit to his team. He cuts relentlessly, he screens constantly, he challenges for EVERY SINGLE loose ball, and generally makes whoever's facing him on either end of the court earn their paycheck twice-over that night. He's already arguably Denver's most effective player, and is still developing an offensive game beyond his off-the-ball activity. Cheesy as it sounds (but also fitting) the sky's the limit for a guy with so much hunger who's shown such steady strides.

7. Mike Conley
Many things have accounted for Memphis' surprise romp to open the season, but chief among them has been Conley's completion of his evolution into (and even beyond) what the Grizz saw when they gave him all that money. Conley's an excellent defender who's become a dangerous offensive presence; an extremely efficient scorer who can morph aptly in between attacker and playmaker modes as the defense dictates. He isn't afraid to take big shots and has been hitting 43% beyond the arc, as one of several D-stretching threats that have made the Grizz so dangerous this year. It's getting crowded in the "Elite Point Guard" mansion, but anyone who doesn't leave Conley's keys does so at their own risk.

6. OJ Mayo
Meanwhile, Conley's one-time running mate has found a new home in Dallas, and somewhat of a renaissance on a team that was suddenly bereft of explosive scorers. Vince Carter was too old. Dirk was too injured. Jason Terry was too in Boston. Well, if there's one thing Mayo likes to do, it's score, and he's responded to the Mavs' void by dropping 20/game and significantly lifting his shooting percentages across the board. What remains to be seen is if the historically streaky and zone-loving Mayo (meant both as "oh, they're in a zone, awesome!" and "no guys, I'm in a zone here, not passing") can maintain the consistent shooting as the second option once Dirk returns, but the early signs have been promising.

5. Anderson Varejao
Ok, so we all knew Varejao was a sneaky-effective monster on the glass, but this season he's become a completely different kind of beast, taking his rebounding to league-leading heights while becoming an increasingly large factor on offense, scoring 4 more points/game and doubling his assist avg to over 3/game. You can appreciate the work this guy's put into his game watching his crafty post moves and smooth finish, knowing this was the same kid that used to make Lebron James cringe with bobbled passes and botched layups several times a night. All it takes is a game, no a quarter, of Cavs basketball to see he's one of the hardest-working players in the NBA, and the effort's paying off huge this year.

4. Goran Dragic
It was evident Goran Dragic was a skilled player when he dropped 23 points in a single quarter... the 4th...On the Spurs....In the Playoffs. It seemed like he was primed for his breakout eons ago, but stuck behind Steve Nash in Phoenix (and then Kyle Lowry in Houston), Dragic was a victim of circumstance and never had the chance to blossom. Now back with the post-Nash Suns, Dragic has been everything he promised to be given starter's minutes; quick on both sides of the ball, with a nice shooting touch and playmaking abilities that would be much better suited to a team with so few options. It's not unfair to say Dragic might have been deserving of Suns teams past, but at least he's finally getting the chance to run the show.

3. Omer Asik
I'll admit, I thought the contract he got this summer was absolutely fucking ridiculous. I'll also admit, I was wrong, as Asik has taken absolutely no time to adapt to a much-expanded role in Houston, becoming a rebounding machine and improving his finishing around the basket seemingly every game. He was pegged by many for a breakout year (I'm far from the only person who's happy they swiped him in their fantasy draft) and so far might even be exceeding expectations. But then there's these two:

2. Greivis Vasquez
General Greivis showed off a solid shooting touch, gritty defending and even a minor clutch factor during Memphis' playoff run two seasons ago; it was evident then that he'd be a solid player. "Solid player" has been a significant insult to the improvement he's shown this year after winning New Orleans' starting PG spot almost by default. His career averages have doubled in every major category, while working with a young, raw, often confused roster that's hardly seen Anthony Davis yet, hasn't seen Eric Gordon at all, and can credit Vasquez's sudden uprising with keeping their early season afloat.

1. Jrue Holiday
Often, a player makes the boldest claim for this award by taking what pretty much every avid sports fan refers to as "The Leap": that breakout season where they ratcheted up from solid role player to unquestioned star, leaving little to no doubt despite the impressive efforts of others (see: Love, Kevin; 2010). Holiday, by all indications, is in the midst of said "Leap" with Philly's point guard reins all to himself. Good for 19/9 with 1.5 steals through the first 15 games, Holiday is adding yet another name to the seemingly endless tally of top-notch NBA point guards, and giving the 76ers a reason to pull the theoretical gun out of their mouths after news broke that their new franchise player indefinitely aggravated his injury bowling. If the Uhu putty holding Bynum's knees together ever settles properly, then these two could be a fearsome duo with Thad Young lurking, but for now, Holiday might have to be content with this trophy, as it's the only hardware he has a chance of winning this season.

Top 9s: Greatest Facials

The term "facial" has taken on a rather loose meaning since its inception as a pre-Botox cosmetic treatment to smooth wrinkles and cleanse the skin.

Depending on who you ask, it could mean anything from a re-styling from the shoulders-up to an adult film shower on a (potentially) unsuspecting victim.

Ask any basketball fan, and the first thing that comes to mind (other than Tori Black) is a vicious assault on a (potentially) unsuspecting victim of a totally different variety: The Poster Shot.

We pray for it every game we watch: some lumbering lummox to be caught off-guard by an athletic skywalker who's beaten his man and is streaking to the hoop like an Aston on the Autobahn. They put in a valiant effort: defending their team's goal like the last man at the Alamo (ok, enough with the "A" similes), only to wind up permanently seared into our memories and on YouTube (and now, in this blog) as casualties of the Greatest Facials:

...Ok, honesty time, I've spent the last twenty minutes trying to cut some of these out and just can't, so before we get down to the Top 9, here's a rather extensive Honorable Mention: (writing this was basically just an excuse for me to watch a bunch of demoralizing dunks, so I might as well share the experience)

Dwyane Wade on Anderson Varejao

Andy Varejao has had an extremely effective, underrated NBA career. He does all the gritty things that help a team win without demanding touches while always playing his ass off. Parcel and package with this of course, is cagey defense that plays heavily to the refs and has led to many accusations of flopping, or as Varejao puts it, "I don't flop, I Samba". Regardless, the NBA has put rules in place this year to crack down on excessive flopping, but Dwyane Wade seemed to have his own solution years ago: (rule of note: a facial is automatically anywhere between 15-30% better if Marv Albert is commentating)




Kevin Johnson on Hakeem Olajuwon

KJ was always an courageous player; one who battled through early failures in his career and numerous injuries to help lead the Suns to several deep playoff runs as a premiere point guard among a cast that resembled today's talent-packed quarterbacks. Even beyond his playing days, he ran a successful mayoral campaign in Sacramento, and is now fighting the League's bureaucratic bullshit to keep the Kings in town. But perhaps nothing took more ambition than this baseline foray against the greatest shot-blocker of the modern era, that took a surprising turn for Olajuwon.



Taj Gibson on Dwyane Wade

Gibson always had the kind of dynamic, athletic talent that would lend himself well to the evolving NBA game. He can defend multiple positions, score, rebound, and unleash the occasional monster dunk. He was all set to blossom in Chicago as part of an emerging Bulls core, until they dumped Carlos Boozer enough money to buy Western Samoa, forcing Gibson to the bench behind him and Bulls fans to plead for Amnesty. Unfortunately for Dwyane Wade, this also meant that Gibson's frustration mounted every time Boozer would botch a defensive assignment, trot casually by the bench downcourt or force an awkward baseline jumper. He felt the need to deliver not-so-subtle reminders of what he was capable of, and the occasional monster dunk just had that added little something to it.



Lebron James on Kevin Garnett

The Celtics always seemed to have Lebron's number while he was in wine & gold, but even if for one brief moment, he completely and utterly owned them.



Vince Carter on Alonzo Mourning


Vince was always a frustrating player that casually toyed with otherworldly talents and left the fans constantly asking for more: "Why aren't you playing defense?", "Why are you just shooting jumpers all the time?", "Are you actually just not trying until the Raptors trade you?...For real?...Aw, C'mon Mannnnn". His time in New Jersey was par for the course: lots of scoring and All-Star appearances, sparse playoff victories. Even less frequent were his demolitions of elite shot-blockers, which when you witness below, just makes you wonder "Why?".


 Scottie Pippen on Patrick Ewing 

Patrick Ewing had a pretty rough career. He had to deal with the expectation of being the first ever Draft Lottery prize and resurrecting a proud basketball tradition under rabid fans and a raging media. He had to deal with immense pressure. He had to deal with papier-maché knees. He had to deal with Michael Jordan. Well, 1994 came around, and Jordan had dominated Ewing (and everybody else) to the point where he felt basketball had nothing left to offer him, and suddenly there was this window of hope that the Bulls could be beaten. Although they eventually succeeded in toppling their rivals while Jordan was smashing dingers, Scottie Pippen was not about to go down without a fight, as this visceral reminder shows.



Blake Griffin, et al

We've all seen these. We could all stand to again.




9. Tracy  McGrady on Shawn Bradley

No list of Top Facials would be complete without a nod to Shawn Bradley; the human birch tree that seemed to be getting banged on every time we turned around. Of all the abuse Bradley endured over the years, none was more malicious than this particular attack, where Tracy McGrady (perhaps frustrated by his perpetual inability to win a playoff series) displayed emotion for the one time in his career, breaking furiously baseline and riding poor Bradley to the hoop like a pony at the carnival. McGrady didn't make it out of this first round - or any other - but will live on in the annals of NBA cult lore as the guy who did Shawn Bradley the worst.




8. Baron Davis on Andrei Kirilenko

Certain dunks are about so much more than the play itself. Pippen's cram on Ewing encapsulated the intensity of a bitter playoff rivalry, compacting all the emotion of an entire series' aura into a single play that perfectly defined it. Consider this the 2K remix: the Warriors were a brash, loud, free-wheeling team that played like they were defending home court at Venice Beach and had just rode their aggressive swagger to an upset of the #1-seeded defending champs that drove the Bay Area into a completely ballistic frenzy. Laying in their path was a boring team of mostly white dudes from a city of Mormons, who were for some reason called the Jazz. Shit was about to go down. (note the "Sound Level Meter" not only existing, but hitting 100+)

 
 7. Corey Brewer on Derek Fisher

Thoughts going through Derek Fisher's head as he collects himself from the basket support: (in order)
"Am I dead?"
"Let's never try that again."
"Maybe I should remove SportsCenter from Tivo record..."
 
  6. Dominique Wilkins on Larry Bird

Borrowed from Bill Simmons' epic The Book of Basketball : "During the '87 season, Larry Legend made the mistake of challenging 'Nique on a fast break and got dunked on so violently that the momentum sent him sprawling into the basket support like he had been struck by a car. This nearly caused a bigger Atlanta riot than the bomb that spoiled the '96 Olympics. People went berserk. they almost charged the court."


5. Kobe Bryant on Dwight Howard

The announcers make reference to Kobe's foot being hurt, but the only thing ailing after this crowning was Dwight's ego.

4. Tom Chambers on Mark Jackson
So many things are awesome about this dunk:

- Tom Chambers is an anglo-saxon, and therefore not one you'd expect to do something like this
- Tom Chambers looks like a supporting character from an 80's action movie
- Tom Chambers found a glitch in the Law of Gravity, and humbly chose not to accept his Nobel Prize
- Most of you have probably never heard of Tom Chambers
 
3. Michael Jordan on Patrick Ewing
No single play better epitomizes Jordan's oppressive dominance of the Knicks than this hallowed murking from the '91 ECF that set professional basketball in New York back far enough that it hasn't recovered yet. The Knicks threw everything they could at Jordan, and he was just too fucking good. Ewing was brave in his efforts to protect the hoop with all his knees would give him, but as was so often the case with MJ, resistance was futile. Poor old Patrick hadn't even been served by Scottie yet.
2. Shawn Kemp on the Golden State Warriors

Before cocaine, alcohol, Jim McIlvaine's contract and pro basketball in Cleveland turned him into a whale among men, Shawn Kemp was the most feared high-flying assassin in the NBA, routinely humbling those who dared to step between him and an NBA Jam moment. Things got particularly devastating in the '92 playoffs for the front line of the Golden State Warriors; first Kemp set a still-standing professional basketball record by being the only player to cram an opponent hard enough to get props from him (as Chris Gatling obliged). But the respect didn't seem to be enough, as that was only a set-up for the immortal Lister Blister.







1. Vince Carter over Frederic Weis

You all knew this was going to be here. Really, it's just beyond words ("He jumped over his HEAD!"), so enjoy the French commentary. And the view.

Top 9s - Show and Prove

Welcome to Banter's newest feature: Top 9s.

The temptation to rank players, teams, events, dunks, plays or whatever else is almost inescapable for anyone with a brain and an opinion. I also happen to have an outlet, a boredom problem, and suffer from separation anxiety between early June and late October, so I figured having some rankings on here to pass time and spark discussion every now and then wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Why the Top 9? Well, it's just a 9.

Coming into every NBA season, there's players with something to prove: a spot in the NBA to secure, a starting job to battle for, a contract year to put on for. But some stakes are even higher; reputations, legacies: historical shit, not only for the players themselves, but sometimes they carry the weight of entire franchises and the expectations of countless fans on their shoulders. This adds another compelling layer to the NBA's dynamic story and lets us see who's truly made of fire underneath it all. So without further ado, the first edition of Top 9s: The Most to Prove This Season

9. Jeremy Lin

Seems like a logical place to start. Lin's flash in the pan last season caught the NBA's entire stove on fire and made a World-wide celebrity of a player who was out of work just weeks earlier. His controversial offseason departure from the team he'd briefly resurrected - something about a grown billionaire holding an insecure grudge like an 11 year-old girl - not only landed him on a new squad suddenly bereft of talent, but promised to make him a very rich man relative to his NBA accomplishments. We've seen plenty of guys go on tears for crappy teams and disappear before (the name Ronald Murray comes to mind) but Lin flipped the script involuntarily. When Houston inked him that back-loaded offer sheet, they promised to make him a poster boy for the League's spending issues, but when James Dolan felt spited and refused to match (which was just monumentally stupid. I know it's a lot of money, but this guy just made your team over twice the amount you're going to pay him over the next three years. In two months. Get over yourself.) Lin became a focal point of whatever the hell Houston's got going on this season. If he keeps up his level of play from last season, he'll easily be the best player on their team, put talks of his contract to rest, and ensure James Dolan get less of it. But it's that "if" part that has everyone wondering...

8. Zach Randolph

Last season was an absolute disaster for the Grizzlies. They came into 2012 with serious playoff ambitions for the first time in their franchise's history, and Randolph was being celebrated as the NBA's most lethal low-post threat. Well, Z-Bo tore his MCL and missed 37 games, throwing Memphis' season into a flux that set a dubious record along the way to putting the words "playoff disappointment" in a Grizzlies fan's vocabulary. After returning, Randolph wasn't his same self. Part of this was due to Memphis' inability to align him offensively with Rudy Gay, but also that Randolph tends to put on a rather convincing Yokozuna impersonation when sedentary. The months on the shelf made it harder to regain his form, being rushed back into the lineup in time for the playoffs. Reports from apparently reliable sources point to Randolph now being fully healed from the injury, and carrying around several less pounds than last year, which is sure to be easier on his legs. He'll have to be healthy and motivated to re-assert himself on the level he did in 2011, which the Grizzlies need wholly if they want to get back on the right end of playoff dream-crashing.

7. Deron Williams

Time was, a lot of people in the know considered Deron Williams the best point guard in the NBA. "Time" seems like an eternity ago, but this "was" around 2009 and since then, not only has the League's overall point guard talent blown up like the Gangnam Style video, but Williams has spent time on some very questionable teams, not to mention the wrong end of a feud that apparently ended Jerry Sloan's career (seriously, we're talking a 23-year tenure in a field where the average life expectancy of a position is worse than a hemophiliac wrapped in barbed wire in a shark tank - must've been some deep shit). Now that the Nets have found a new home with Deron locked into a long-term deal, they can start to build towards the lofty goals their celebrated owner has set for them, with Williams steering the ship. A lot of eyes will be on Brooklyn; they've been much-ballyhooed over everything from their flashy new arena, to their owner's ambitious 5-year title plan, to their attempt to resurrect a borough and revitalize The Mecca's basketball scene. And I also remember reading somewhere that Jay-Z's involved with the team apparently? Sounds cool. With the ante as high as it possibly could be for a team in a new city, a lot of it will rest of D-Will's shoulders after Dwight didn't happen and the team overpaid for the rest of its roster. If ever there was a time to boldly re-claim his status on the shaky PG totem pole, it's now.

6. Kobe Bryant

Regardless of how much he accomplishes in his storied career, Kobe's more or less a formality on this list. He's spent the past 15 years cultivating a niche as by far the most polarizing figure in the NBA (you hear that so much it becomes trite) by giving puritans, underdogs and most casual fans every reason to hate him, while spellbinding others with undeniable talent, bulletproof work ethic, and an indomitable love for the game. This season is the same story: coming off an inevitably-much-scrutinized 6th place showing in ESPN's #NBArank, Bryant will have to adjust his Bieber-like usage rate from last season and mesh his offensive tyranny with the Lakers' new arrivals if they hope to live up to the hype surrounding them. As his legacy would dictate, most of the skeptics' questions surround his role: "Will Kobe be OK with Nash controlling the tempo?", "How's he going to react when his shots get cut in half?", "Is the Staples Center locker room big enough for his and Dwight's ego?", "He's not the man anymore. He won't like it." But, as is perpetually the case with Kobe, no matter how he addresses these issues this season, you can count on there being more for him to face.

5. James Harden
In most cases, having a career year where you exceeded lofty expectations and won the 6th Man of the Year award would put you far away from having anything to prove. I use the word "you" because, unless you're James Harden, this hasn't happened to you. Setting the tone for this contradiction was Small Game James's complete dud of a Finals: put bluntly, he played by far his worst ball of the season when it mattered the most. As if that weren't enough, he spent the offseason watching free agents get thrown money like GMs were drunken, insecure recent Bellagio jackpot winners at the Spearmint Rhino, and demanded his own max money, driving a very awkward curveball into the Thunder's long-lingering long-term financial dilemma. Playing in a small market, with two max deals already on their roster (at least they extended Ibaka before he played himself into that conversation) Harden's threatened a divide in Sam Presti's plan to keep this young core together. He's currently a fringe max player at best (at least in anything even vaguely resembling a sustainable economic model) and Presti could get heaps in return from a team more able fork over the money Small Game James is seeking. The future of the Thunder's composition could very well lie on Harden's play this season, and whether he proves himself too valuable to lose.

4. Roy Hibbert

As you've probably figured out by now, the words "max deal" are being tossed around the NBA these days like "swag" and "YOLO" are by hip-hop wannabes, nowhere more evident than in Indiana, where ascribed All-Star Hibbert (who for argument's sake posted career bests of 12.8/8.8 last year, offering a defensive presence that, while valuable, was at-most 4th best among East centers) will be raking in as much money as he possibly can next season. The obvious questions are 1. "Does he deserve it?" and more importantly, 2. "Does this completely screw over the Pacers?" Neither can really be answered right now, because Hibbert is still only 25, has improved very dramatically over the past two years, and from all skills, conditioning, and attitude perspectives seems bound to continue. But the Pacers aren't prime candidates to bite the luxury tax bullet, and now have a ton of money tied up in Hibbert, while having made no significant upgrades this offseason. This means it'll up to guys like breakout-ready Paul George, and more so the dude this paragraph's about, to take Indiana further in a conference where they almost beat the NBA champs last spring, but have seemingly regressed against the competition up top.

3. John Wall
It was all too good to be true. Wall showed almost too much potential, his athletic ability was so far ahead of its time when he was drafted. He was Derrick Rose, only faster end-to-end; a perfect palette with which to paint a legendary point guard. Something had to go wrong. Enter the Washington Wizards. Enter Andray Blatche. Enter Nick Young. Enter Javale McGee. Rather than let his quarterbacking talents blossom, Wall was a relative daycare employee, and after a promising rookie campaign, hit a serious sophomore slump last season. Fortunately for him, the headaches appear to be gone; the immature mess that once marred the Wiz's roster has been replaced by stable veterans down low, and given way to another promising young gun (3rd pick Bradley Beal) to share Wall's backcourt. All the pieces appear to be in place for him to get back on the path to superstardom, but sometimes it's the immense amount of talent that's so difficult to harness. John Wall has all the potential in the World, but along with the possibilities, comes the potential for so much to go wrong.

2. Carmelo Anthony
Carmelo Anthony and Lebron James have been on very contrasting NBA journeys since their once-storied rivalry as high school and NBA rookie phenoms. Their stories met again this past year, linking up as Olympic teammates and putting on clinics as the US took the expected Gold. They face yet another indirect crossing as they return: in the same season James took himself from clear first to dead last (as in the entire League) on this list, Melo's inability to win became a popular topic among hoops pundits who wondered if he'd ever make the leap from hardcourt gunner to transcendent winner; be the Slim Charles of the NBA game (he's from B-More after all). Now almost a decade into his career with 0 Finals appearances under his belt, Anthony will be under the microscope like never before; his Olympic outbursts and triumph are fresh in everyone's minds, but we've all known he was a World-class scorer from Day One. What remains to be seen is everything else: Can he defend? Can he defer? Can he make those around him better? And, obviously, Can he win? Your move, Melo.

1. Dwight Howard
I'm sorta out of words at this point, not because I have a hard time justifying this slot or had a Writer's Block dropped on me, but there's really nothing more to be said about Dwight Howard that hasn't over the past 18 months. To sum things up for anyone who might be a new NBA fan or is simply nauseous from all the bullshit: Howard demanded a trade from Orlando, publicly denied it, then publicly confirmed, then denied it again (shit, who even really knows), mailed in all of last season, got his coach fired, attempted to model the team in his own image, got his GM fired when that didn't work, all the while acting immaturely in the media and with a lack of transparency that sabotaged his team's ability to move him effectively, so that when they ultimately were forced to, they got completely and utterly shafted. To say that he's humiliated the NBA would be a minor understatement, surely substantiating every negative stereotype about professional athletes held by the conservative public. The bad news for Dwight is that he's got a lot of making-up to do in the eyes of basketball fans. The good news for Dwight is that he landed in the proverbial Pot of (Purple and) Gold at the end of this shit-rainbow: he's on a team that's seriously threatening to take the NBA by storm, and as still the most dominant center in the League, he'll be right in the eye of it. Cue up "All Eyez on Me" and enjoy your season.