2016-17 NBA Preview - Part 1: The East

Ah, October.

The air is crisply cooling, the leaves are going all Bob Ross, pumpkins are being carved, pumpkin pie is being served, and everything else is pumpkin spiced. Most importantly, the struggle through baseball, golf and televised darts felt by NBA fans is on its last whimper.

After a historic offseason, we've been left with what seems like a foregone conclusion: the Warriors and Cavaliers will meet again in the Finals, with the Dubs looking unbeatable if healthy.

But between now and an inevitable ending, a very dynamic and delicate power struggle will play out among the NBA's middle tier. Venture far out of either conference's top-3 and the pecking order is very unclear. With so much player movement this summer, not only are some variables unknown, but the resulting margins slim - playoff spots should be a dogfight in both conferences.

Speaking of conferences, let's jump into a breakdown of each in Part 1 of Banter's 100% Guaranteed, Flawlessly Hypothesized NBA Preview; starting with the East:

LOTTERY LOCKS: 


15. Brooklyn Nets
As laughable as this roster is, it's still similarly talented on paper to a Simmons-less Sixers, and certainly more experienced. That said, they have far less upside and no means whatsoever to better themselves mid-season.

It's going to be a close race for the bottom between the two. If only Brooklyn had any incentive to be bad; forking over their next two first-round picks, both sure bets for the Top-5.

14. Philadelphia 76ers

The Ben Simmons injury hurts a lot. He was a Sixers rookie, so odds are it was happening, but it's a swift kick in the head to Philly's momentum. It also doesn't bode well for #TheProcess that their likely three best players are all centers.

Philly will now have to scrap either way to escape their token role as the NBA's Worst, but a seemingly inevitable trade of either Noel or Jahlil Okafor could put Philly in a better position to weather Simmons' loss and actually make sense as a basketball team.

13. Miami Heat
xThe bigger they come the harder they fall. By LeBron's count, Miami should still be defending an NBA championship; instead they find themselves unexpectedly thrust into a rebuild.

Losing both Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh signals a new era for the Heat, and knocks them down to the East basement where tanking is a very real possibility. They lack consistent scoring outside of Goran Dragic; relying on increased roles from a Josh Richardson/Hassan Whiteside/Dion Waiters/Derrick Williams quartet that cumulatively went for a whopping 35 ppg last year.

Even if Tyler Johnson lives up to his comical new contract, it's hard to see them winning any more than 30 games. Miami might be better off punting with their sights on 2017's plentiful Draft Class.

PLAYOFF CONTENDERS:

12. Charlotte Hornets

Last season the Hornets re-discovered themselves, playing at a top-10 pace with a balanced and varied scoring attack. After losing three key cogs, Charlotte will have to lean much more heavily on Kemba Walker and Nicolas Batum to put the ball in the basket.

While the defensive versatility of the Batum/Marvin Williams/Michael Kidd-Gilchrist trifecta gives the Hornets lots of options and a long presence on the perimeter, MKG's sub-par shooting will only further serve to constrict the offense, and subsidize double-teams of Walker drives.

Charlotte could potentially create headaches on D for certain small-ball lineups, but overall have lost enough scoring punch to suggest a regression back to the lottery.

11. Orlando Magic

So much nonsense going on here. Deal-happy Magic GM Rob Hennigan might be executing a thinly-veiled asset horde, but their awkward glut of big men serves to stymie both trade value and their progress as a basketball team.

So much of this bizarre experiment hinges on Aaron Gordon's transition to "small forward" (if positions still exist). While Gordon gives them a wide athletic framework within which to work, it's nearly impossible to see all of Orlando's bigs fitting into the rotation without marginalizing each other to some extent.

Rumors abound suggest that Nikola Vucevic may be on the trading block, but the market for a center who offers no rim protection and can't quite hit 3s might be dry. A forthcoming deal may help this team find an identity; as of right now it's nebulous at best.

10. Milwaukee Bucks 

Losing Khris Middleton for possibly the entire year hits the Bucks like a Ford Expedition, especially in terms of their spacing-challenged offense. Relics Jason Terry and Steve Novak might be forced into bigger roles out of pure necessity.

Milwaukee seems bent on replicating the Thunder's recently-dismantled Long Ball blueprint, and while all their limbs project as a strong defensive unit, they really couldn't afford to lose their best shooter.

The Bucks' best hopes of salvaging this season come in trading Greg Monroe, who's on a great deal and would fit better on just about any other team. They could fetch a badly-needed perimeter threat and open up the starting center spot for John Henson, one of the NBA's most comically-underused players.

9. Washington Wizards

Maxing out Bradley Beal was a gamble the Wizards had to take after completely fanning on the Kevin Durant Sweepstakes, especially in this summer's apocalyptic Free Agency market. That said, it pins a lot of resources on a player who's missed a quarter of his NBA career so far, while spending another third of it playing through or recovering from injury. At full health, Beal is a borderline All-Star, but our glimpses of it have been fleeting.

John Wall is obviously a franchise building block, but his greatest weakness - his shooting - is only exacerbated without Beal flanking him. In fact most of Washington's roster, like several other lower-rung East teams, seems bereft of en-vogue floor-spacing, unless the petulant Markieff Morris is suddenly becoming an offensive centerpiece.

8. Chicago Bulls 

A peculiar and lateral offseason for "Da Bulls". They traded Derrick Rose, presumably aware that he was ball-stopping Jimmy Butler and clogging their already-shaky spacing with his awful outside shooting.

Now with Robin Lopez as insurance for the imminently-departing Pau Gasol, the Bulls needed to get Butler some help on offense. They thus proceeded to sign not one, but two high-cost players who - maddeningly similar to Rose - will keep the ball out of Butler's hands and do little-to-nothing to space the floor.

It's unclear if this ill-advised hodgepodge of perimeter talent qualifies as a Big 3, but if so the Butler-Wade-Rondo trio is probably the most dysfunctional ever.

PLAYOFF PROBABLES: 


7. New York Knicks
The Knicks made progress this summer. There's no two ways about it; they'll be a better basketball team in 2016-17. But the pidgeon-steps they took towards contention with Melo's window dwindling are far from flattering for Phil Jackson's third offseason. Going almost-all-in on Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah is a serious gamble; the Knicks will be lucky to get a healthy season out of both, never mind their pre-injury selves.

Brandon Jennings will be a welcome addition to their scoring-bound bench, but behind him it's dental floss-thin. Meanwhile Kristaps Porzingis (he of the Latvian rap video) is the team's only significant realizable upside, and his development risks being stymied while Rose and Carmelo Anthony dominate the ball. Their ceiling seems fairly capped even at perfect health - which is far from guaranteed.

6. Atlanta Hawks  

The Hawks aren't in that bad shape for a team that lost two of its three best players over the summer, but maintaining their mid-level playoff spot will depend on several variables:

- that Dennis Schroder will make a leap from stud backup to above-average starter (possible)
- that Kent Bazemore's worth all the money they just gave him (probable)
- and that the Dwight Howard signing won't go up in flames (anyone's guess)

Howard certainly renders Atlanta more combustible than they've been since the Josh Smith era, and poses difficulties for Coach Bud's fluid offense if unwilling to seriously adjust. Paul Millsap is a beast, but there's only so much he can do to keep ATL's system together as the team around him gradually erodes.

5. Detroit Pistons 

Losing Reggie Jackson for the first month-plus of the season blows for a team that many are picking to rise to the top of the East's clusterfucked middle tier. Ish Smith is far from a bad replacement (he'll be great for Andre Drummond on the pick-n-roll), but that stretches an already-thin backcourt bench further.

Their sans-Jackson schedule isn't overly hard, but Tobias Harris is unproven as a primary scorer, and openings for 3's from KCP and Marcus Morris won't be as wide or frequent without Jackson's slashing.

But once Jackson returns, they field a fearsome starting five, well equipped for the space-and-pace offense Stan Van Gundy's so fond of. Not to mention they have Boban.

THE BRIDESMAIDS:

4. Indiana Pacers

The Pacers might've taken a step back defensively with their summer makeover, but the gains on offense - an area which has plagued Indiana for several seasons - are considerable. With a new scoring-friendly coach in the driver's seat, Indiana now has threats from every position to surround Paul George, who seemed like a one-man army at times last year.

Plus it's not like they're suddenly awful on D now. They only have leaks in a couple spots (#MontaEllis), Paul George is still a multi-positional defensive monster, and Myles Turner will become a truly elite rim protector as his IQ and positioning develop.

The net result of the Pacers' shift in philosophy may be a moot point overall. They're much deeper and more talented than last year's iteration, which is why they've returned to the East's upper tier.

3. Toronto Raptors

At first glance it seems like the Raptors had a blah offseason aside from the somewhat-likely Demar DeRozan re-up. Losing breakout Bismack Biyombo while some of their direct competition re-tooled heavily isn't a great start.

But the Jared Sullinger acquisition is large for a rotation that saw Luis Scola log heavy minutes last year. The Raptors now can time-share between two competent, multi-skilled fours without feeding Scola's corpse to opposing athletes.

The Six's summer also saw their All-Star backcourt win Olympic gold medals, an experience whose impact has translated dramatically to the NBA for a number of players. It's not irrational to expect some net positive effect after a summer of playing/training with a handful of the World's truly elite, and - more importantly - getting the best coaching Lowry or DeRozan have ever had. At the absolute least, Toronto's two most important pieces are riding a wave of confidence after inconsistent postseasons.

DeMarre Carroll missed a big chunk of last year and will certainly have a two-way impact, while any development from stashes Bruno Caboclo or Lucas Nogueira would only be icing on the cake. The East's top four will be tougher this year, but the Raps won't be helpless to defend themselves.

2. Boston Celtics

It can't be underscored how huge the Al Horford signing is for a team that hoarded assets in search of a star, then had one dropped in their lap, at their shallowest position no less. Horford would've fit well just about anywhere, but especially so in Boston, who retain their disposable youth and Rolodex of draft picks for the next move.

With lots of available talent, and now two All-Stars to beckon potential trade targets, the odds of Danny Ainge pulling the trigger on a blockbuster aren't bad, raising the Celtics' projected ceiling. But even at present they're probably the East's 2nd-best team, with depth at every position behind a sneaky-good starting lineup.

Losing alpha sixth-man Evan Turner hurts a varied roster like Boston's a lot less, especially given his price tag. Brad Stevens has an absurd knack for maximizing his talent's effectiveness, so he'll find innovative ways to replace Turner's production and continue the Celts' ascent.

HOMECOURT GOES TO:

1. Cleveland Cavaliers This just is happening. Long live JR Smith.

Stay tuned for Part 2: The West, and Part 3: The Hardware, coming soon to a smartphone screen near you...

Blips and Clips: This Week in the NBA

The NBA Playoffs have been unusually hectic this year, not only cluttered with a litany of compelling on-court subplots, but significant re-tooling after a season in which only one coach was fired, and the ever-lingering Donald Sterling Saga.

I've avoided discussing Sterling for the most part - in this blog, across social media, and in person - because I'm against propagating the issue. This was hardly a revelation for anyone who's followed the NBA closely, and if anything was overdue in being dealt with. The man is senile, bigoted, and carries a prolonged history of racism; not only are his sad perspective and ideas unworthy of the attention they've garnered, but are callous distractions as "his" team fights for their Playoff lives.

The sad reality is that Sterling may continue to loom over the franchise, intent on challenging his forced sale of the team. While he's highly unlikely to win, the litigation could take far longer than the NBA would like to rid themselves of someone whose parasitic mentality has festered for years.

Every minute spent discussing Sterling is something that could, and should, be focused on what's going on with his team, and the rest of the Playoff survivors. So while The Donald digs himself deeper, let's not give him an audience.

Sunken Opportunity 
Speaking of the Clippers, their nebulous meltdown last night - after an incredible comeback in Game 4 - adds yet another layer to one onion of a season for this team. Needless to say a couple of pretty questionable calls went against them, but L.A. shot themselves in the foot repeatedly down the stretch, making it hard to lean on the officials.

The poor reffing comes as an unfortunate non-surprise, in a postseason where an abnormally high number of weird whistles and rampant reviews are hampering the NBA's entertainment value pretty noticeably. There have been blown calls benefiting teams both ways throughout every series; officiating, basketball in particular, is far from a perfect science. The Clippers' referee variance, while guilty of very, very, very bad timing, also directly resulted from their own mistakes.

Deliver Us From Otis
Mistakes are something Joe Dumars made plenty of in Detroit's front office, and just as he'd worn out his welcome, the Pistons may be opening their door to another notorious party-crasher.

Stan Van Gundy has been hired to run the show for the Bad Boys (as in 'their team is really bad'), named both Head Coach and President. They could've done far worse; SVG had a productive run with Orlando, before Dwight Howard's awkward coup d'etat cost both him and GM Otis Smith their jobs. What should terrify Pistons fans is that Van Gundy's considering handing Smith the keys to their team; great news for upcoming Free Agents seeking a bloated contract, or the fans of any team the Pistons might trade with down the road.

Why Stan would trust this guy again, after he butchered several moves and allowed the Howard fiasco to escalate to the point where it consumed the Magic for well over a year and got them both fired, is beyond me.

Everybody Loves Steve
While the Pistons tagged a reputable bench boss to turn their team around, he was more or less a second-tier hire right now. The coach-to-be with by far the hottest current stock is, for some reason, Steve Kerr; being fought over by several teams. Personally, I don't really get it.

I understand fully that Kerr's a knowledgeable, connected, experienced and respected figure in NBA circles, but I'm not sold that these qualities make him a good coaching candidate, or at least one every team with a vacancy should be clamoring to hire.



Kerr is an experienced player, and five-time champion, but was never more than an eighth-man shooting-specialist, and not really known as a leader. His time in Phoenix as GM was uninspiring; three years of mostly-backwards movement that saw him bow out before an inevitable rebuild. His analysis on TNT is usually strong, but his neglect of the 2014 awards ballot (including LeBron for DPOY and Tim Hardaway Jr for ROY) makes you wonder just how much basketball he watched this year.

The teams tug-of-warring for his services are both high-profile voids. The Knicks are looking to rebound from a disastrously stressful season, under the Zen Master's calm aura, while the Warriors need to rectify a controversial axing that most of their players were openly against. In both cases, there will be heavy expectations, perhaps too much for the shoulders of someone with no coaching experience. But hey, who needs a strong coach when your owner's James Dolan?

Everybody Hates Roy (and Russell) 
The narratives of two NBA stars continue to swing wildly, taking those of their teams with them as the internet's fickle masses chime in. Russell Westbrook and Roy Hibbert have been the targets for plenty of social media vitriol over the past few weeks; the former for his ostensible neglect of Kevin Durant, the latter for simply playing like garbage far too often.

Hibbert's case looks like a pretty clear mental disconnect, although it's difficult to call anything "clear" when discussing the often-misunderstood and largely-unexplored realms of the human mind. His sudden revival showed that he isn't completely broken, and Frank Vogel the Pacers need him to channel that level more if they're going to live up to expectations. Even then, through Indiana's disconnected play, with Hibbert in flux, Paul George randomly disappearing, Lance Stephenson being totally erratic, Luis Scola's uselessness, and the team having no idea how to even begin trying to score most nights, his best might not even be enough.

Westbrook is also a puzzling conundrum, but for different reasons. He is who he is; a highly-manic player who spends every possession hungrily attacking. Aside from insane athleticism and great skill, his game thrives on his primal, reckless instinct to take the ball from the other team and put it in their basket. It's a big part of what makes him arguably a Top-5 NBA player; a good thing an overwhelming majority of the time. . But a direct by-product of this mindset are his occasional defensive gambles and offensive tunnel-vision, segregating one of the best scorers ever.

The question's been posed many times if the Thunder would be better suited trading Westbrook; a risky proposition, due to both his top-tier value, and Sam Presti's track record on major trades. Dealing such an elite player in his prime is a tough concept for OKC to wrap their heads around, but the team seems stubbornly unwilling to break the luxury tax threshold (ask this guy) or amnesty Kendrick Perkins, and forking over the Max to a player whose absence they weathered very well this year might not be optimal. Any trade would hinge on this season's title chase and whether the franchise's lofty character arc can be fulfilled, but it wouldn't be totally illogical if the Thunder fall short.

Westbrook's Westbrookness is a smaller problem than some critics make it out to be, and one that virtually any team in the NBA would happily live with. But for the Thunder - who ran their offense almost entirely through Kevin Durant and Reggie Jackson this year, scoring 106 ppg - you can't help but wonder if giving Durant more shots and bolstering other positions would be a bad idea.

Of course, Scott Brooks' either unwillingness or inability to run any kind of coherent offense with these two dynamic talents is perhaps the bigger issue for the Thunder; that they can still maybe win a title in spite of his coaching is a testament to just how good Westbrook and Durant really are.

Grading Day

Last October, I rolled out nine predictions for 2013-14, ranking them based on an arbitrary mix of boldness and importance to the overall scheme of the NBA. My plan was to review them sometime late in the season, and see how each turned out. The campaign's winding down to single-digit-games for half the Association, and since most of these predictions had nothing to do with the Playoffs, I'm turning back time, looking through hindsight's lens, and assigning grades to each one. Where's the DeLorean...

"9. The '73 Sixers are safe"

There was plenty of buzz in the preseason about just how bad some of this season's write-offs could be, and whether any of them would challenge the single-season mark for futility. The prevailing logic seemed to be "so many of these teams look awful, odds are one might be that bad" and not "so many of these teams look awful, and they're all going to play each other enough".

I figured it wasn't much of a stretch that a widening gap between the top and bottom of the League - combined with so much tanking - would make for many more winnable games between two weak opponents. Enough that the worst single-season record would be more than safe.

It played out somewhat predictably; even with this season's incarnation of the Sixers recently putting on a memorable nose-dive to challenge Milwaukee for the Undisputed World Tanking Champion status, there were simply too many other bad teams for any of this season's hackjob rosters to register historically, or even realistically challenge. This was a pretty safe call, so I won't pat myself on the back too much for it.

Grade: B+

"8. D-Rose won't miss a step"

This one went horribly awry, no two ways about it. In October, all indications pointed to Rose reminding everyone just how good he was. He had just spent a full year-plus recovering from his knee injury, and was talking the same confident game he did prior to his MVP season. "I'm faster". "I can jump higher". "My mom can get it". He seemed like he was taking no prisoners, and had forced us to take his talk seriously.

Unfortunately for Bulls fans, Heat haters, and this prediction, Chi-Town's favorite son was barely starting to knock the rust off after ten games, before going down again and seemingly taking his team's season with him. In a twist that should be surprising us less and less, Tom Thibodeau (the Gregg Popovich to Adam Silver's David Stern) milked 150% out of his roster, and the Bulls wound up doing better without Rose, even after salary-dumping Luol Deng.

This result was somewhat of a fluke overall, especially with Rose injuring his other knee, but even the tiny glimpse we caught of him was far from the player we all remembered. I'll be less presumptuous about his next comeback; he might be too.

Grade: D-


"7. Joe Dumars will seal his coffin"

I've spent a few years feeling very bad for Pistons fans. Basically ever since Joe Dumars traded Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson and forced us all to wonder if the Darko pick wasn't a one-off aberration.

In the years since, Joey D's been one of the worst GMs in the NBA, botching trades and signings left-right-and-center, while his pedigree as a legendary player and architect of the '04 title team have bought him rope within the franchise and clouded judgement of the Motor City faithful.

I saw his latest rebuild attempt as a textbook mismatch of talent that wouldn't live up to expectations, and bashed the Josh Smith (and to a lesser extent Brandon Jennings) signings, but even my negative outlook for the Pistons couldn't compare to the turd of a season they put together.

Missing the Playoffs in maybe the weakest Conference ever, notching the season's only coach firing to date (hold that thought) and submitting a very strong bid for this year's Unintentional Hilarity Award. With the internet's proliferation allowing fans to be heard more, they've slowly joined a growing number of analysts in scrutinizing Dumars, but he runs deep with the Pistons, he'll be tough to uproot.

Grade: B+

"6. There will be a record-low number of coach firings"

This one could've gone either way.

Mo Cheeks was the only bench boss to be axed when the situation in Detroit became comically bad, but several others could've easily bowed out. Mike Woodson somehow survived New York's biggest disaster outside a generic blockbuster movie. Larry Drew didn't take the fall when Milwaukee accidentally tanked. The Cavs haven't realized how much Mike Brown's part of their problem, Jason Kidd turned the Nets around to dodge Prokhorov's hit squad, and it's only a matter of time with Ty Corbin.

Any number of things going slightly the other way could've blown this one for me, but getting through a whole season with just one coach losing his job is a total outlier in today's NBA, and when a team can blatantly lose 26 games in a row without a murmur of firings, it's not total coincidence.

Grade: A

"5. The Cavs will begin The Redemption"

Oops.

Looking back on it, I should've seen the signs. Mike Brown. Andrew Bynum. The Cavs with any kind of debatable lottery selection.

My optimism here was based around Kyrie Irving hitting another level (didn't happen), Dion Waiters adjusting as an off-the-ball scorer (unlikely, especially in a Mike Brown offense), and getting anything out of Bynum (statistically less likely this year than him messing around with a coach's wife).

They turned the Bynum Tax Credit into an All-Star (Luol Deng) and will probably have to watch him walk away in the summer, left with another void to fill on a sketchy roster, with a horribly overrated coach, and possibly-insane owner whose regime is beginning to look very shaky.

And I haven't even gotten to Anthony Bennett yet...

Grade: D-

"4. OKC will make a big move; It will be questionable"

Quite a few things went against me here, negating the need for OKC to even consider making moves:

- First, the Thunder were much better at team defense than I figured them to be with so many new, young bodies,

increased doses of Derek Fisher, and Kendrick Perkins getting more and more obsolete. I thought they'd slide noticeably and it just hasn't been the case.

- Jeremy Lamb and Steven Adams were two complete question marks coming into this season; both have become solid role players who've fit well within what the Thunder need: a rangy defender who can space the floor, and a center who isn't Kendrick Perkins. Hardly enough to make up the margin between five years of James Harden and eight months of Kevin Martin, but hey, who's counting?

- Reggie Jackson made the leap from "guy who put up an inspiring late-season run" to "landslide 6MOY winner if Westbrook stayed healthy"; instant energy and offense, solving the "who will take pressure off Durant?" query with no hesitation.

- And then Durant spent most of the season in Doom Mode, taking his transcendent game to yet another level.

As a result, the Thunder have looked like a top-two team in the West, even through Russ' injuries. As it played, the season couldn't have gone much smoother for them, which crushes this prediction's "trade", even there's still a decent chance Presti could've botched it.

Grade: D-

"3. The Knicks will completely implode"

We've all heard enough about this.

Grade: A+

"2. The Clippers will have the West's best record (and worst Alternate Jersey)"

The jerseys were a close call; so many total eye-sores. The sleeves movement was an awkward shift that the NBA's thankfully moving to ditch, which is great news for everyone, especially the Clippers and their powder-blue pyjamas.

The "best record" part, was a little further off. San Antonio has the West's top seed locked up, but L.A. is still tight with OKC for the 2-spot, having battled numerous injuries all season, especially their biggest new addition (JJ Redick). The immense upgrade from Vinny D to Doc Rivers has done wonders for this team, especially their defensive cohesion and both Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan taking their games to the next level. At full strength, many are giving them credit as strong West contenders.

Injuries are part of the game, so it's hard to use them as a crutch when this whole process is pretty results-oriented, and the Spurs and Thunder weren't exactly models of health this year. The Clippers could've taken the top seed at full strength, but close, no cigar.

Grade: B-

"1. The Heat will Three-Peat"

My #1 prediction was pretty cliché, but I felt it had the right mix of importance and uncertainty to be a pretty standard slot-in. It's also (obviously) incomplete, but based on what we know right now, doesn't look totally awful.

Miami's hit a relative lull at a bad time, but still has three weeks until the Playoffs to flip what we all know is the most automatic "switch" of any team in the NBA. Fortunately for them, the Pacers are in the midst of a meltdown, have surrendered the #1 seed, and are raising their first serious doubts all season, in a drastic way, at a really bad time. Concurrently, the rest of the East - despite revivals from Chicago and Brooklyn, and the deserved optimism in Toronto - just can't challenge the Heat, rested, with D-Wade, in a Playoff series. There's no way.

The picture is far murkier out West, where any number of teams can cause serious problems, and the battle will be infinitely more competitive: More games will be hard-fought and go into overtime. More series will be stretched the distance. More players will have to exert themselves to the Nth degree, risking injury and exhaustion just to survive 'til the next round.

The West is the far better Conference, but that's to its severe detriment in this year's title race. Miami faces a soft schedule, will play fewer games, and spend plenty of time resting (especially Wade) while waiting for the West schedule to catch up as its teams beat on each other. The Playoff landscape couldn't look much better for them right now.

That said, whatever team comes out of the West, besides being well-tested, is obviously going to be very, very good. Miami played poorly almost too often last spring, catching several lucky breaks to prevail in what was likely the tightest NBA Finals ever. If they're not playing a notch above consistently this year, I don't like their chances too much.

Grade: an incomplete B

Overall, I averaged out to a B-, not incredible, but not Eastern Conference-caliber either. My 3-Peat prediction could do me some favors, but I'm not entirely confident in this Miami team down the stretch of an intense Finals (under the assumption they get there). There's a lot riding on a supporting cast that just hasn't looked as sharp this year, and the load LeBron's had to carry (especially with Wade sitting so often) worries me.

Only time will tell, but before it does, we have some trophies to hand out, so check for the 2014 Banter Awards next week...

After The Goldrush: Looking Back and Forward on the New NBA Season

Well, it wasn't so much of a goldrush, maybe more like a pyrite rush after some of the ridiculousness we saw over the first few weeks of a belated, official NBA "offseason". It was a bizarre, hectic and in some cases league-altering couple of weeks, so now that most of dust's settled and we're just days away from what's sure to be the best Christmas ever, let's take a look back at the madness, and try to make some sense of it:

- Surely the story of the past weeks was the Chris Paul trade odyssey and David Stern's repeated attempts to get his Gaddafi on, blocking completely legitimate offers for his adopted team's prized PG not once, but twice. Finally enough league and public outcry forced him to realize he was being an irrational asshole, and he let the re-submitted deal pass. The result: the Empty Clips now look like legit homecourt threats in the West, and we've been blessed with the divine privilege of watching CP throw Blake Griffin oops all year. This trade made sense on too many levels: Paul wanted to play in LA. The Clippers had considerably the best package to offer. It would be the ultimate "Fuck You" to a Lakers team that's had the odds stacked in their favor for decades and just got denied their own shot at Paul. We now get to indulge in what could become the best highlight reel tandem ever, finally spared of an increasingly delusional tyrant's iron fist.

- Not too far behind the trend-meter was Dwight Howard's "they love me, they love me not..." trade drama in Orlando, which is making Dwight look more like a child every day, and leading me to think he'd be best off just staying with the Magic and being so close to Disney World. Dude, just be straight with Otis Smith; the poor guy already has a very difficult time with his job, and you changing your mind about your trade desires every time a Twitter follower talks you into it isn't gonna make this go any smoother.

- In missing out on CP3, the Lakers continued the implosion that seemed to have reached its peak with the their 2nd-round sweep last spring. Lamar Odom, upset that his team felt was good enough to trade for the BEST POINT GUARD ALIVE, felt betrayed and demanded a trade. So where do they send him? Obviously to the team that knocked them out last year. And what'd they get in return? Oh ya, absolutely nothing! Great move! Now the Odom giveaway has angered Kobe Bryant (who's also getting divorced and has a legion of NBA heads telling him he's not that great anymore), Metta World Peace (...really?) is dawning upon the most useless season of his career, the words "condensed schedule" might as well mean "injured reserve" for Andrew Bynum, and your nefarious, two-headed point guard demon of Derek Fisher and Steve Blake? Probably the worst in the NBA. That Jerry Buss decided to replace the modern era's greatest coach with a McDonald's mascot didn't help matters much. When the Lakers lose in the first round this year, count me unsurprised.

- I know big men are scarce in the NBA today, but was it REALLY necessary to give Nene, a guy with a heavy injury/illness record who's never been a top-2 player on his team or averaged 8 rebs/game, 14/mil a year?? Didn't we just have a lockout because of shit like this?

- Speaking of stupid contracts, Joe Dumars sealed his nosedive in complete senility last week when he spent $40million locking up his team's 3rd and 4th small forwards; Tayshaun Prince (who hasn't wanted to play in Detroit for like 5 years) and Jones Jerebko (who played pretty well for 6 months and then sat out all last year). For the record Joe, you'll be committing roughly 25% of your team's cap space next year to three reserve small forwards while your starter makes less money than all of them. It looks like Joe's trying to get himself fired, but I find it far more likely a bunch of angry Pistons fans will just put him in ICU instead.

- The Big Apple just got bigger: The Knicks have picked up Khalid El-Amin.....er, sorry Baron Davis, to shore up their pathetic backcourt. whether Baron has anything left in the tank remains to be seen, but if he can lose the In N Out addiction and his un-entitled air of accomplishment, his coupling with Tyson Chandler could take the Knicks' renaissance to yet new heights. At the very least, all the running he'll be doing in Mike D'Antoni's system should be good cardio.

- KAAAHHHHHHHHNNNN. Why did you sign JJ Barea when you already had four guards? Moreover, why did you sign JJ Barea for $20mil when you already had four guards? We knew somebody was going to overpay Barea after last year's inevitable "I'm going to play the best basketball of my career for these six weeks, sign a fat deal, then never do anything relevant again" run, but that it ended up being David Kahn couldn't have been more appropriate.

- David West also spurned Boston, in what Ray Allen called an "ego-driven" move, to sign with Indiana(right, like anyone with a fucking ego goes and plays for the Pacers). They now sport a slightly-frightening frontcourt corps (aided greatly by Mike Dunleavy no longer being a part of it), some promising young talent, and have the advantage of a solid headstart on the rebuilding effort that's sure to face many teams...Which leads us to....

THE LEAGUE IN FLUX
The ultimate effect of the lockout and its subsequent few weeks of open-market madness is that the NBA is in a state of serious transition that is sure to engulf an overwhelming majority of the league's teams. Right now, only three squads (Miami, Chicago, OKC) can safely call themselves contending teams with absolutely no reason to blow things up. Everybody else is vulnerable; that includes the Lakers, Mavs, Celtics, Spurs, Magic, Hawks, and even teams on the rise like the Knicks and Grizzlies. Plenty of other teams didn't get what they were looking for in the offseason, and still more over-rate their contention chances and feel they're "one piece away" from grabbing a Larry.O trophy that, like last year, could be anyone's. This might be most uncertain season we've ever embarked upon, and with 66 games coming in 120 days between under-prepared teams on unfamiliar schedules and regimens, with plenty of trades and free agency rumors circling like an annoying flock of shrieking vultures, things may only get crazier from here. If ever there an NBA season where "anything can happen", well this is it. Get ready to expect the unexpected.... Which is why I'm counting on the predictions I'm dropping here to blow up in my face, but oh well, what can ya do:

MVP - Lebron James. I just think he'll hungrier. He just spent a whole summer listening to people say he cost his team an NBA title, which you can trust he took much more personally than everything else he heard the summer before. Look for a serious "fuck off" statement.

DPOY - Dwight Howard. Not even gonna bother explaining this.

ROY - Kyrie Irving. Being Rookie of the Year is usually all about opportunity and how you respond to it. Irving will have plenty of opportunity now that Baron Davis is out of Cleveland and he'll have the point guard duties all to himself. There's sure to be a steep learning curve, but in a shallow class, there's no reason to bet against him.

MIP - Serge Ibaka. A lot of people like to overlook this, but Ibaka first picked up a basketball at age 18. That was three years ago. He's now one of the premiere defensive bigs in the NBA, has improved in bounds each season, and now as a full-time starter is primed to make "the leap".

6th Man - James Harden. This is a stretch, because a big part of me is convinced he'll punk Thabo Sefolosha's starting spot by the All-Star break (is there even one this year?). But most of me hopes he remains on the bench, where he's a dangerous 2nd scoring punch, who can also see minutes at the point and aptly playmake, because I think it makes the Thunder a better team, and so I look smarter.

COY - Fuck, I dunno, is Hubie Brown still coaching?

EAST PLAYOFF TEAMS - 1.Miami 2.Chicago 3.Boston 4.Indiana 5.New York 6.Atlanta 7. Philadelphia 8. Orlando

WEST PLAYOFF TEAMS - 1.OKC 2.Dallas 3.Memphis 4.LA Clippers 5.LA Lakers 6.San Antonio 7.Denver 8.Portland

EAST FINALS: Heat over Bulls
WEST FINALS: Thunder over Grizz
NBA CHAMPS: Miami Heat (let's all pray this doesn't actually happen. Last June was way too much fun)

Before I wrap this up, just wanted to offer some proper dues to a few we lost this week: Brandon Roy, who was tragically cut down in the prime of an All-Star career, Peja Stojakovic, who also retired after terrorizing perimeters all decade, and Jeff Green, the latest in a disturbing line of heart ailment suffered by NBA players, will be sidelined all season. All the best to Roy and Peja in their future endeavors, and our thoughts and wishes should be with Jeff Green and his family, that he might overcome this illness and return to the Celtics soon.

Well, sure enough, it's almost here. The regular season's tipping off in 5 days and has me sleeplessly awaiting Sunday like a giddy 5-year-old. Merry Christmas indeed everyone, enjoy the season.

"...Still a Whole Lot to Lose"

..So what now? It seemed like the entire Association was on guard for years, eagerly awaiting the summer of 2010 and gutting their rosters for the best chance at cashing in on the free agent jackpot. Most of them now return to the drawing board with their hands empty and their dreams dashed, facing the very daunting task of competing with a potential dynasty in Miami to deliver the title their fans all hoped this offseason would help bring home.

As the aftershocks from a ridiculous summer begin to settle, so too does the reality that the Heat are going to be very difficult to contend with this year. Few people on any side of the argument think that anyone besides the current champs and maaaybe a healthy Celtics squad could realistically beat them, and the teams with even a remote chance at doing so can be counted on a single hand. What for the past few seasons had looked like a wide open title chase is suddenly an exclusive endeavor that few teams will even catch a glimpse of.

Despite this cold new frontier, those that won't be playing for a championship will still have lots to lose, if not little to win. Without even mentioning a potential lockout, there's plenty of reason for urgency in many NBA cities; everything from plummeting profits and attendance to unhappy superstars and reputations to protect. Even in the ominous shadow of the league's best teams, the pressure will be immense and the outcomes potentially devastating. Someone's bound to get the worst of it, so giving some benefit of the doubt to the champs and the heir apparents (who, despite having a title to defend and expectations higher than Method Man to meet, are clearly on top of things), here are the ten teams with the most on the line this year:

10. Houston Rockets
Eight years ago, the Rockets drafted Yao Ming first overall in the hopes that he would be a dominant big man and ambassador of a game whose popularity was exploding in his native China. They managed to build a solid cast around he and T-Mac, every season promising a title run to its fans, every season ended prematurely by a fatal array of injuries to their stars. While Yao's done admirably when able, the toll that a decade of non-stop basketball (thanks to ridiculous offseason demands from the Chinese national team) took its toll on his brittle body, keeping him on the chilling list for large slumps of his career. This season will be his most important ever, as Yao, his doctors, and the Rockets all point to another injury being the end of his career. If he stays healthy, pairing him with Kevin Martin will give the Rockets an offensive punch they sorely lacked all last year and surely put them in the West playoffs, but if Yao succumbs to his ailments, we'll have lost a great talent, and Rockets season ticket holders will have been stymied yet again.

9. Detroit Pistons
Not only is this team struggling to keep their heads above water in the East, their fan base grew tired of stale, crappy basketball last season and attendance at Pistons games sank like employment rates in Michigan during the recession. Things have gone from good to bad deplorable too quickly in disinterested and economically-challenged Motown; the once Shaft-esque front office smoothness of Joe Dumars has become as coarse as the sandpaper his balls will soon meet after the bandsaw. Drafting Darko Milicic in the deepest class ever, trading your franchise player inexplicably for a reputed selfish tyrant, signing two third-tier talents to half your team's cap space to have them come off the bench...this is not the kind of decision making that builds winning teams or keeps people their jobs. If Dumars isn't able to put the brakes on this disaster very soon, he might be thrown on the grenade, but even that should do little to prevent this entire team from being blown up if they don't improve vastly. Don't count on it happening.

8. Toronto Raptors
The other squads on this list are rolling the dice on more tangible assets like players and season ticket holders. The Raps come into this season still reeling from their franchise icon's unceremonious exit, facing the implicit task of carrying an entire country's waning basketball interest on their shoulders. Well over half of the games broadcast on Canadian cable tv feature Toronto (...can't wait for this League Pass subscription), meaning most of the basketball we're being exposed to is flimsy, uninspiring crap that's sure to only get worse after RuPaul wasn't traded at the deadline, the team crashed their 5th seed into the lottery over the final 25 games, and he inevitably left. Canadians who (relatively) have little connection to the NBA beyond this shitstorm won't forever hold interest in a team that perpetually loses too many games and All-Star talents (don't forget about T-Mac) for nothing at all. Expectations won't be very high for this team, but the pressure has to be mounting for Toronto to at least come close to meeting them.

7. New York Knicks
What was once basketball's undisputed holy ground became its laughing stock over the last ten years as the Knicks took stupidity to new heights both on and off court. Their salvation was supposed to have arrived this past summer, but endless rumors, perennial tanking, and relentless hope amounted to only marginal improvements and a sense of uncertainty. Not only is this team's range of potential success as wide as any other's in the East, the swirling rumors of Chris Paul and Melo's interest now torment a team that just spent four seasons tanking for Lebron and probably came nowhere close to getting him. If the team plays well and the Knicks can lure both, or even one of their targets, then this year will be a success...If things don't play out so well, the basketball-crazed Garden regulars and boisterous media could turn on this team quickly and be a negative catalyst to any even slight progress. They have the largest window of opportunity of all these teams, but their situation can also become the most volatile if they don't capitalize on it; they haven't done much to make up for the past decade so far.

6. Orlando Magic
It was a summer of slight setback in Orlando; one where the competition got much, much better, and the Magic struggled to stay in neutral, losing Matt Barnes and overpaying to keep JJ Redick. Vince and Rashard aren't getting any younger, Jameer's health is becoming an annual concern, and Dwight's offensive game actually regressed last year as he was frustrated by incessant fouling and forced to earn more of his points at the stripe. Especially now in the imposing shadow of their stateside rivals, things aren't so sunny in Orlando; even Stan Van Gundy's been admitting to the media that the Heat are virtually unbeatable. He might just be trying to motivate his team, but they'll be hard pressed to make it back to the Finals with this squad. Having few big names they'll be willing to or able to trade, and a bloated payroll that will brutally handicap their ability to maneuver, this team will just have to dig deep and exceed all expectation to protect their contender status and prove their coach wrong.

5. New Orleans Hornets
Now that Lebron James is no longer in Leveland, Chris Paul holds the honor of being the single most important player to his team's success in the entire NBA. That he's publicly unhappy with the state of the franchise has to be of concern to a front office in a small, challenged market. The Hornets will have a difficult time being relevant in a city that just won a Super Bowl and a country that (not to sound insensitive) is further removed from the devastation of Katrina, if Paul ends up forcing his way out. It would be easier for Shawn Kemp to get hired at Planned Parenthood than it will be for New Orleans to get equal return on CP3, so being forced into dealing the league's best point guard could be devastating. They'd better hope Trevor Ariza's really that answer nobody expects him to be and the potential of Peja's expiring deal is enticing enough for Paul Wall to stay...But who honestly believes it is?

4. San Antonio Spurs
For the first time since Tim Duncan's rookie season, (think about it, this was back when we all thought baseball players were honest athletes, had no clue who Britney Spears was, and thought the World was going to end because of a misplaced computer digit) the Spurs are a few steps removed from the title conversation. They lucked out into landing one of the best big men ever and have milked four championships out of him, but face a serious crossroads this year with their often-injured trio of stars (especially Duncan) on aging legs, their competition getting much tougher, and their roster virtually unchanged from last season. Rebuilding seems almost unfathomable and probably too drastic, but something's gonna have to give here before Timmy D's knees do. Another title's out of the question, and last year's team gave little reason to suggest a slight-shake up's a bad idea.

3. Dallas Mavericks
It's hard to fault the Mavs. They've upgraded what was already one of the best rosters in a deep Western pool and should easily win 50 games this year while being cheered on by a raucous home crowd...But beneath that sugar-coating, this Dallas team is a perennial playoff disappointment that faces an ever-shrinking window to win a title. Disco's failed more often than succeeded with assorted arrays of talent around him, and Mark Cuban's undivided attention - the catalyst that elevated this franchise from lottery doldrum to playoff staple - is clearly wandering after numerous attempts to buy other teams. Like the Spurs, they're too good of a team to be rebuilding, but their feeble playoff track record only increases their need (and unlikelihood) to outperform teams that are simply much better than them to finally get that elusive title. Another first round exit would almost certainly amount to the end of Dirk's status as a franchise player, and the tossing of this roster into the proverbial blender.

2. Denver Nuggets
The Nuggets faced a tragic obstacle last year when a terrific campaign was derailed by coach George Karl's second bout with cancer, almost directly coinciding with a nose dive that ended their season far earlier than they'd hoped. With Karl's health hanging in the balance, an already delicate situation was suddenly dropped on the pavement when stories of Carmelo Anthony's imminent departure began surfacing. Denver now must placate their displeased franchise player, while trying to move him in a market that's ulikely to return equal value, working against a ticking clock that every other GM is aware of. So while the careful maneuvering continues and 'Melo plays the waiting game, the Nuggets and their fans are consumed by uncertainy, knowing only for sure that their best player wants out. For a team that's a lock for homecourt in the West at full strength, this is no way to start the season.

1. Boston Celtics
More than any other team in the NBA, the Celtics are built for the right now. Although their best player's barely grazing his prime (and to think three years ago he was a potential liability), this team's core is more susceptible to injury and age than anyone else's. Vulnerability to fatigue and fragility only heightens the urgency of this being perhaps their last shot at another title with the seniors' squad. This team went through a vicious mid-season down swing, but entered the playoffs armed with full health and their A-game, silencing critics and supposedly better teams with a defiant run to within an untimely injury and some Ron Artest (?!?!?!?!) heroics of a title. That bitter ending should only serve as motivation on what will be a very difficult road through Miami and/or LA; the Celts probably feel as though they need to redeem themselves, or at least Kevin Garnett has probably frightened them into believing it. Not that they need any extra motivation. This season could likely be the final shot at the Finals, the last chance for this crew to build their legacies and probably the last time the Celtics will be this close to contending for a while.

"He Who Hesitates is Lost"

This year's trade deadline was more exciting than most, with several big names on the move after months of rampant speculation and incessant rumors. That being said, for every move that was made, we saw teams fail to pull the trigger on anticipated deals that could have serious implications over the coming months and seasons. Let's take a look at who didn't make a deadline move, why not, and how seriously it could fuck them over:

- The most surprising move, or lack thereof, was Phoenix deciding not to ship Amar'e Stoudemire to any of the many interested teams. The problem here was that Stoudemire had been held onto for too long; the Suns have been talking about trading him for years and could never make their mind up whether or not to hit the switch on rebuilding mode. This hurt Amar'e's trade value, as every team knew Phoenix was willing to part with him (and needed to, lest they risk losing him for nothing in July), making it impossible to get equal value in return. If the rumored Hickson/Ilgauskas package was truly the best offer they received for an elite big man, then this card was played terribly. Consequently, you can probably pencil the Suns in for a low playoff seed and the worst month of June possible as they clamor to work a sign-and-trade (which is sure to be even more of a lowballing than their refused deadline deals) before Stoudemire bolts like Usain to a better situation.

- Also, the Utah Jazz held onto their prized-but-long-time-trade-bait big man after several offers for Carlos Boozer fell through. Despite informing 'Los and the rest of the NBA that he wasn't part of their long-term plans months ago, Utah is contending for a division crown and trading a borderline All-Star for pennies on the dollar would've been a hasty move. Instead, they shipped their starting shooting guard for absolutely nothing, pissing off their franchise player

and confusing the hell out of everyone else. Maybe they thought Wesley Matthews could fill the void (...not saying he can't), but blatantly dumping one of your core guys to save a few dollars when your team's among the best in the conference doesn't send the right message to players or fans. Now, much like Phoenix, Utah can only pray that Boozer allows them to work a sign-and-trade, which given his history in such situations, is a sketchy proposition.

- Third in our series of Teams That Might Regret Holding Onto Their All-Star Big Man are the Toronto Raptors. A few months ago, mired in their usual nonchalance and defensive ineptitude, the Craptors were almost certainly going to have to deal Chris Bosh. Since 2010 dawned, they've played enough inspired basketball to make Bryan Colangelo think he's got a chance of holding onto his soon-to-be free agent. It's a tough read. Bosh has repeatedly stated that he 'loves' Toronto as a city and as a team, but he's also expressed a desire to play for a contender; something the Raptors are far from being. If he does re-sign, he'll be committing to a team that has $50 in dead money committed to The Remains of Hedo Turkoglu, has a poor track record of appeasing its star players, and an worse one when it comes to steadily building a winning franchise. He might claim he loves being the man on a mediocre team, but even though Bosh is a stand-up guy and least likely of these three players to bail unceremoniously, he'll have to weigh options and priorities very carefully this summer. 'Loving' a team is a different story from making the most important decision of your life in the faith that they'll show you that love in return.

- On the flipside, you have the teams that should've been looking to acquire a piece or two, and for whatever reason didn't get it done. Take the Miami Heat; a team that four years ago made some short-sighted moves that got them a title but now has left them in a serious hole. Since then, they've tumbled from the NBA's penthouse to the East's basement, and though they've attempted to climb out, look like they can't find the door. Dwyane Wade once affirmed his desire to be in Miami hiw whole career, but since making that statement has seen his team fall apart around him, forcing him to exert himself more than he should ever have to keep them in the playoff hunt while his GM publicly puts him on blast. It's obvious he's not happy here and will have teams lining up to deliver a franchise to his feet in mere months. The lack of activity by the Heat is alarming; deadline rumors had them aggressively pursuing Stoudemire and Boozer, but they shot themselves in foot by not really having any promising trade bait. The chance of luring a big-name free agent still might save them when Jermaine O'Neal's whale expires in June, but with so many teams waiting to gamble this summer, getting a jump on the market would've been key to cinvincing Wade to stay.

- The Golden State Clusterfucks also stood pat after dangling everyone on their roster short of Stephen Curry all season. I wish I knew why. Not only do they hold several intriguing, young trade prospects, but they have no identity within which to worry about the fit of a potential acquisition. They weren't even mentioned to be pursuing many offers, which given the disarray of their roster and record, just seems lazy.

- Although they weren't talked about as much, I sincerely expected the Pistons to shake things up because a) they have lots of talented pieces, b) Joey D's never shied away from triggering a big deal, and c) they're fucking pitiful this year. This seemed like a perfect time to jettison one/some of their young studs in what was clearly a buyers' market, but admittedly their recent decision to commit a third of their cap space to two guys who aren't currently starting hasn't given them much room to work with. Although he'll no doubt be working the phones to make something happen in June, Mr. Dumars' early summer plans will likely involve much more leisure time than if he had been in a different frame of mind back on that fateful June night in 2003. Hopefully visions of Carmelo and Dwyane re-upping with his team won't haunt him while he's putting to save par.

Of course, we'll need wait and see what develops over the next few months before we can cast a final judgement on the Trade Deadline. Maybe the passive route was the best idea and the waiting game will pay off for these franchises, but the trade market we just saw is a rare breed and passing it up is a serious roll of the dice at a high stakes game. Things are only going to get zanier this summer, and only time will tell if these teams came out for the better. But with so much talent and cap space readily available, there might be a lot of GMs soon spending time near the bottom of a bitter whiskey bottle, lamenting what might've been.

Have a good weekend everyone, I'll be back in a few days.

Makin' Moves: The Offseason's in Full Swing

Now that the shockwaves sent through the NBA by the summer's early blockbusters have settled, we're settling into a more familiar offseason routine; ludicrous lowballing, obnoxious over-paying, shitty trades and contract re-neging: it's all become disturbingly familiar. Here's a quick recap of what we've seen so far:

- Surprising nobody, the Ricky Rubio tug-o-war ended with the Spanish prodigy returning to Europe to fulfill his current contract and mature as a player. A lot of people get caught up in the hype and forget that, despite the poise he showed in the Olympics last summer, he's still 18 and has a lot of improving to do. He'll be much more ready to contribute in a couple years and will keep potential NBA employers anxiously watching Euroleague Pass at 3 am far too often.

Shrewd move by Minnesota; a lot of people questioned their tactics on draft night, but they now have a promising, athletic (albeit undersized) guard and the league's most intriguing trading chip.

- The Pistons made the biggest free agent splash, tossing big dollars at Charlie V and Ben Gordon to replace the aging stars that are presumably leaving gaps at the 2 and 4. While it's debatable whether this was money well spent (staying under the cap for next summer anyone?), it's hard to argue with the addition of an explosive scorer and a versatile forward who can spread the floor. Something about these acquisitions (namely the abysmal thought of Gordon and Rodney Stuckey co-existing in a backcourt) and the nature of Joe Dumars makes me feel like some more moves might be made...

- Speaking of Dumars, his most illustrious draft selection is on the move again: the New York Knicks are the new proud owners of Darko Milicic, the papier-mache figurine that Detroit decided was more worthy of their draft pick than..well..the legnthy list doesn't need to repeated again, you all know. It's anyone's guess if Mike D'Antoni can summon a shred of the basketball ability Darko was once thought to have, but I'd have to assume a player who's shown all the offensive prowess of a confused giraffe won't be a good fit here either.

- And speaking of troubled big men, the Clippers ousted Wack Randolph; a move that rids of them of a complacent locker room deadweight and leaves an unmolested starting spot for that Griffin kid everyone's talking about. Had to be done. They had 4 potential starters at the 4 and 5, Randolph was the most obvious casualty.

- Not resting on their laurels, the champs went out and added Ron Ron the Rottweiler to replace Trevor Ariza, who assumes Artest's old post at the 3 in the Houston Rocket Crash (honestly..has a squad that took the eventual champs to game seven 2 months ago ever looked so bleak?). He'll be looked upon to fill the same role; be an aggressive wing defender and hit open 3's. While he's older and slower, Ron Ron's a tougher player, better scorer, passer and ballhandler; generally an upgrade. Artest can be the ultimate catalyst in LA, and most indications from last season point to him being a reformed psychopath, one who focuses his intensity on winning games instead of demolishing media equipment. If his ego can remain unphased by the LA aura and Kobe's omnipotence, then the Lakers will only be tougher to beat.

- ...And no offseason would be complete without a quizzical blunder from the Toronto Raptors, who recently saved the Blazers from overpaying for Hedo Turkoglu with an 11th-hour screwball that commits $50mil + to a 30-year old who barely averages Eastern All-Star numbers and waited a decade to prove himself as more than a seventh man. Real Cool. They now boast yet another soft player who can stretch defenses and score from a lot of places, but does nothing to address their glaring deficiencies. What's Hedo going to do for them that Bargs and Delfino aren't already? O yeah, shackle them financially when he's a washed up plug averaging 15/3 with an untradebale contract. Next season.

What's going down next? Will the Phoenix firesale finally consume Amare? Is Joey D done re-tooling the Piston engine? Are the Raptors going to become the next NBA name to relocate to Europe? Stay tuned folks...

Playoff Diary: 6 Days In

Almost a week into the NBA playoffs and nothing overly shocking has happened yet. Amid some highly competitive (..well, in some cases) basketball, there aren't too many amazing developments or shocking revelations to speak of. Here's a few things we can take away from what we've seen so far:

- Jason Kidd's a defensive liability. I know it's been said many times before, but with his team's playoff life hinging on how badly Tony Parker exploits him, it bears repeating. His lateral quickness has sunk to Oliver Miller-esque levels, and regardless of his cunning playmaking ability, he's a disruptive presence when the entire Mavs squad needs to play help every possession. It seemed to work in game 3, but San Antonio hasn't collectively shot that poorly since the late Jurassic, so constantly collapsing on Pretty Tony may not win them the series so easily.It's been happening all season; it's surprising Dallas doesn't fall into a zone more. Regardless, if the Mavs survive the first round, it'll be in spite of Kidd's shortcomings.

- The Celtics are cooked. Their big men have stepped up to fill the voids left by Leon Powe and some guy named Kevin's absences, but the Bulls are giving them far too many problems for them to have ambitions of returning to the Finals. Garnett's dynamic court presence is critical to their success and Powe's injury leaves an already-hurt team stretched further. They pounded the Bulls last night, but an opening round trouncing of the least experienced team in the postseason is nothing to suggest they won't be beasted next round (or even next game). 

- If there's a fringe contender at this point, it's gotta be the Nuggets (raise your hand if you thought back in October that those words would be soberly uttered this year). Chauncey's been flawless, even squared up with the league's best point, and as a team they've arguably payed the best ball in this young postseason. 

- As if Greg Oden hadn't hurt himself enough times this year with his bumbling clumsiness, his stupidity has now cost one of the game's most revered players his final playoff run. Dikembe Mutombo; league ambassador, humanitarian, and defensive demigod, has fallen victim to an inadvertent Oden stumble, and says his career is now over. Ironic that a week after I crown him with the Kevin Willis Award, this happens; Deke deserved better. Not only was he a dominant defender, but the league's elder statesmen and one of its nicest guys (and most hilarious characters). He'll be sorely missed. Assault charges against Oden are pending, but defense attorneys are seeking to have the charges dismissed on the grounds that their client isn't fit to stand trial.

- Brandon Roy's no fucking joke. His game and poise are years ahead of their time, and if his name's a big part of MVP talk in years to come as the Blazers continue to come of age, I won't be surprised at all. 

- ...Aaaand then there was the Detroit Pistons: An awkward assembly of savvy veterans and energetic youngsters that, after Chauncey's questionable shipping, look completely lost. Iverson's absence has, not surprisingly, done little to mend issues that have been plaguing them all year. They've lost their heart; they look deflated. They aren't very tough inside. Their point guard wants to score all the time. They don't have a prime-time scorer or game-changing talent. Kwame Brown is in their post rotation. This is a very flawed roster that Iverson's impending free agency will greatly benefit; they've got moves to make. 

- Most Impressive so far? Lebron's been unguardable, Chauncey's been unfaultable, but seriously, did anybody ever think Rajonn Rondo would be playing this well, at any point in his career? Fuck, this guy couldn't hit an open jumper for a 10 sheet two years ago and now he's playing some of the best two-way basketball in the league. 

 

Enjoy the ball this weekend, I'll be back in a few days.