Banter's 2017 All-Star Reserves

The NBA All-Star reserves were announced last night, rounding out the rosters that will be lacing up their exclusive-makeup kicks in Charlotte New Orleans next month.

It's sure to be an unreal offensive display, and while puritans whine about the game's lack of defense and competitive nature, the All-Star Game is what it is; a showcase for all fans that's supposed to maximize highlights and minimize injuries. Those same talking heads would likely be crowing about the ASG's danger to players if someone were to Paul George themselves.

Regardless of your view on its pure basketball value, the All-Star Game is the single best collection of basketball players on the same court, anywhere, every year. For that reason alone, it should always be significant.

So who are those players this year anyway? Before we get to the reserves, a quick refresher on my starters:

EAST STARTERS
G - Kyle Lowry
G - Isaiah Thomas
F - Jimmy Butler
F - LeBron James
F - Giannis Antetokounmpo

WEST STARTERS
G - Russell Westbrook
G - James Harden
F - Kevin Durant
F - Kawhi Leonard
F - Marc Gasol

As I alluded to in my starters column, the conferences have been two vastly different landscapes in terms of top-tier talent this season. The voting tribunal selected the exact same 12 players I did in the East and it couldn't have been more obvious, while with so much talent in the West there were bound to be a slew of worthy snubs. Let's dive in:

EAST RESERVES

G - Kyrie Irving, Cleveland Cavaliers 

All-Star Because: He's having by far the best scoring season of his career for a first-place team
Not Starting Because: Defense remains an issue, Playoff Kyrie > Regular Season Kyrie

G - John Wall, Washington Wizards
All-Star Because: Absolutely crushing statisically for a team that's suddenly an overperformer
Not Starting Because: Washington sucked for the first quarter of the season

F - Kevin Love, Cleveland Cavaliers
All-Star Because: Has cracked the 20-point & double-double avg plateaus; both firsts as a Cavalier
Not Starting Because: LeBron

F - Paul Millsap, Atlanta Hawks
All Star Because: His all-around excellence has kept Atlanta competitive amid a minor identity crisis
Not Starting Because: He started the season in a major slump, and Giannis isn't human

F - Paul George, Indiana Pacers
All-Star Because: Even on cruise control, he's still likely a top-15 player league-wide
Not Starting Because: Of the time he's spent on cruise control & Indiana's somewhat lackluster start

WC - Demar DeRozan, Toronto Raptors
All-Star Because: Has taken the mid-range game to new heights this year for Toronto's elite offense
Not Starting Because: He's not even the best guard in his own backcourt

WC - Kemba Walker, Charlotte Hornets 
All-Star Because: Having a remarkably efficient career-year for a team that needs his scoring
Not Starting Because: Lowry and Thomas are having more apex-efficiency seasons for better teams

EAST SNUBS
Kristaps Porzingis - The Knicks have underwhelmed, and Melo/Rose prevent a full unleashing
Joel Embiid - Undeniable impact aside, he's spent too much time on the pine for a 17-27 team
Dwight Howard - The Hawks aren't quite good enough to justify a 2nd All-Star
Bradley Beal - Neither are the Wizards
Andre Drummond - Detroit has been one of the NBA's biggest disappointments

WEST RESERVES

G - Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers


All Star Because: He's the same sublime 2-way monster he's been his whole career
Not Starting Because: Harden and Westbrook are having two of the best seasons in modern history

G - Stephen Curry, Golden State Warriors
All-Star Because: If you're a reigning unanimous MVP, your All-Star spot is a mere formality
Not Starting Because: Kevin Durant's clearly established himself as the Warriors' alpha dog

F - Anthony Davis, New Orleans Pelicans
All-Star Because: He's having an absurd statistical season, even by his own lofty standards
Not Starting Because: The Pelicans continue to surround him with crap

F - DeMarcus Cousins, Sacramento Kings 
All-Star Because: He's too good for his team to consider trading someone so volatile
Not Starting Because: He plays for a team with perhaps the sketchiest braintrust in professional sports

F - Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors
All-Star Because: He's a historically versatile force and DPOY frontrunner for NBA's best team
Not Starting Because: The West is unfairly stocked with talent right now

WC - Damian Lillard, Portland Trailblazers
All Star Because: He's one of most feared scorers in the league
Not Starting Because: He's one of the most inviting defenders in the league

WC - Rudy Gobert, Utah Jazz
All-Star Because: Utah succeeds by their D, and Gobert is quite arguably the NBA's best defender
Not Starting Because: Still not a massive offensive presence,

WEST SNUBS
Klay Thompson - The Warriors' fourth-best player, and thus, odd man out
Gordon Hayward - Very possibly not the Jazz's most important player
Mike Conley - Broke his back (though somehow only missed three weeks)
CJ McCollum - Just wayy too many elite guards in the West
LaMarcus Aldridge - Having his least impactful statisical season in a decade
Blake Griffin - got himself injured for the like 80th straight season
DeAndre Jordan - Still a give/take player, while Clippers have cooled off
Karl-Anthony Towns - Give Minnesota a couple years
Eric Bledsoe - Give him a better team

Banter's 2017 NBA All-Star Starters

I usually spend this opening paragraph rattling off some semi-cliché rant about the bastardization of the All-Star selection process, tainted by the competency of the average voter (which seems to be a common issue these days).

But just as the situation reached peak popularity contest and Zaza Fucking Pachulia was about to start in an actual NBA All-Star Game, the Adam Silver Innovation Wave washed over, giving me slightly less to worry about.

Half of the voting is now comprised of ballots from the media and players, who while capable of dubiousness themselves, are generally far more sane and educated than NBA Fan X. This adjustment may just push us past the days of the Yao Ming Exception, much like the elimination of the center position on the ballot delivered us from Jamal Magloire.

The system still isn't perfect - a guy averaging a triple-double apparently isn't starter-worthy - but it's absolutely a step in the right direction. A title that will eventually help shape a player's legacy (and in some cases be used as a Hall of Fame yardstick) deserves as much respect.

With the voting in safer hands, the competition for All-Star spots has fallen into a predictable pattern this year; a facile cakewalk in the East and an absolute bloodbath out West. Who's shone brightest so far? Here are the most deserving participants, beginning with the Starters:

EAST STARTERS

G - KYLE LOWRY, TORONTO RAPTORS
Even though the Celtics are only just now finding healthy legs, the Raptors have held

court as the East's 2nd-best team, led by Lowry's sublimely efficient scoring/playmaking, and bulldog defense. Scoring a career-high 22ppg on a completely incredulous .589 eFG% (ninth in the NBA and tops among all guards), Lowry's a staple in all of the Raptors' best lineups, leading a historically-great offense. His dominance is so consistent that one of the NBA's deadliest lineups this year - simply called "Lowry + Bench", features him and four Raptors reserves.

Some misled pundits and fans have attributed Toronto's offensive ascent to Demar DeRozan's scoring spree, slotting him as a backcourt starter. But both the eye test and RPM (where Lowry sits second league-wide, to DeRozan's 114th) suggest Lowry's all-around superiority, and true vitality in the Raptors' success.


G - ISAIAH THOMAS, BOSTON CELTICS
Lowry isn't the only East guard on a torrid offensive streak. Thomas is currently dropping 28.7ppg on .537 eFG%, which is great for any guard, and outright absurd for one who's 5'9". Thomas has become a fearless neo-Iverson, only smaller and more efficient. His whirlwind attacks of the hoop keep defenses constantly guessing, and powered the Celtics through a slew of early key injuries.

Thomas may be a bit of a one-way player, but it's tough to blame a guy for defensive shortcomings (get it) when any player he faces can easily outreach or shoot over him. I'd prefer to focus on his league-leading fourth-quarter scoring, on a team currently ranked fifth in close-game win %. Thomas is a flat-out killer.

While John Wall's been sublime this season, the Wizards started off pitifully, and only recently broke the .500 barrier. Thomas has led a better, injury-hampered team all season, giving him the edge in a close race.

F - JIMMY BUTLER, CHICAGO BULLS

Things are kind of going to shit in Chicago, now that their early 3-point charade has been exposed, and the Rajon Rondo Experience has hit worst-case-scenario. While the Bulls franchise implodes around him, Butler's been his ever-stellar self; a top-tier player on both sides of the ball with an underrated killer instinct.

Despite ball-stopping and lane clogging from Wade and (before his benching) Rondo, Butler's boosted his scoring by 19% to a career-high 24.8, getting to the line far more (9.7 FTA vs 7.1 last year) and hitting a career-best .866 while there. He's also posted a noticeable career-best in rebounds, while matching his best assist numbers, doing so with peak efficiency - his 25.9 PER is good for 10th overall.

The Bulls owe Butler a great debt for being anywhere near the playoffs right now (he's third in the league in win shares; mildly anomalous on a sub-.500 team). With justice it will come in the form of better surroundings, whether in Chicago or elsewhere.

F - LEBRON JAMES, CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

LeBron's write-up for an East starting spot might be the most trite, useless words I wrangle together on a yearly basis. You know why he's here, and that he has to be, and that him starting in this game has become as much an annual certainty as taxes, Christmas, and DeMarcus Cousins trade rumors.

But just so he's not taken completely for granted, let the record show Bron has resurrected his 3-point shot (.375 on 4.8 attempts vs .309 on 3.7 last year), while tying his career high rebs+assts in his 14th season.

F - GIANNIS ANTETOKOUNMPO, MILWAUKEE BUCKS

This escalated quickly. Most of us knew to brace ourselves for more exponential improvement from the Greek Freak, but he's unleashing an extinction-level event upon the NBA. He's lifted the Bucks to improbable status as a likely playoff team, while leading them in points, rebounds, assists, blocks, steals and field goal%. If you think that's impressive, he's also threatening to be the first player to Top-20 all those categories since nobody. Ever.

We're witnessing a revolution, it is televised (if you have League Pass or live in Wisconsin), and it literally defies adjectives. Antetokounmpo does things we've never seen before, with gazelle-like grace and Stretch Armstrong-like elasticity. He's already a historically versatile force, sits 2nd in the NBA in PER, has arguably been the East's best player so far, and - here's the fun part - is 22 years old.


WEST STARTERS

G - RUSSELL WESTBROOK, OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

There's really only so much that needs to be said here beyond "He's averaging a triple-double", but I'll entertain the explanation:

Westbrook's not only on a shocking course to contest one of sports' most untouchable records, but he's doing so as the league's leading scorer, on a team that's a mortal lock for the playoffs. Westbrook is the Thunder as they weather Kevin Durant's departure, on pace to shatter the NBA's single-season usage rate record. His offensive RPM is bested only by James Harden, while sitting fifth in overall RPM.

What he lacks in efficiency, Westbrook more than makes up for in pure omnipresence, even amid a constant defensive swarm as his team's only major threat. Bound by laws of physics and energy unfamiliar to us mere mortals, he's a thrill to watch, and a total nightmare to try and contain.

G - JAMES HARDEN, HOUSTON ROCKETS

While Harden was already essentially a point guard (and MVP candidate), his insertion into the Mike D'Antoni Stat Steroid System has produced some incredible results. The Beard is accounting for the most offense of anyone in the NBA, scoring just under 29/game while dishing a (by far) league-leading 11.7 dimes.

Pick on his defense if you will (at least he's starting to show signs), but Houston isn't about D; they're openly bad at it. They're just going to outscore you, and so far they've done it far beyond anyone's expectations, as the 3-seed out West, once projected as low-rung playoff fodder at best.

Moreyball found its apex coach, and surrounded Harden with a bounty of elite shooters - he's taken full advantage.

F - KEVIN DURANT, GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

It takes a pretty darn good player to walk into a whirlwind offensive juggernaut like the Golden State Warriors, and firmly commandeer it from the two-time reigning MVP.

Durant has done just that, relegating Steph Curry's role with a sublime offensive display. Aside from performing his most efficient scoring masterpiece yet, Durant's elevated his D to arguable All-Defense contention, finally tapping into the disruption his length allows him to cause on that end.

The Warriors have undoubtedly had a couple hiccups; every alignment of superstars does while they feel each other out. But they're still the NBA's best team, and Durant's their best player, so he has to be here.

F - KAWHI LEONARD, SAN ANTONIO SPURS

It's sickening how consistent the Spurs are. In what's very much a transition season for them - as much as transition exists in San Antonio - they're still motoring along exactly where they should be; slightly behind Golden State and slightly ahead of everyone else.

Leonard, as expected, has taken on a greater offensive load, while posting an elite 28.35 PER (good for third overall), and providing the same peerless defense. Leonard's defensive RPM has taken a hit (down to a pedestrian .99 - by far a career-low) because he now shares the court with several minus defenders instead of Tim Duncan, but he still manages to post a top-10 6.22 RPM overall.

Leonard's come along steadily; gradually evolving each season to a new level of beast. He's the NBA's two-way zenith, and enough reason in himself for Pop to keep coaching in the AD (anno Duncan).

F - MARC GASOL, MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES
I tried my damndest to give this spot to Anthony Davis. The Brow's put up a superlative season so far, but ultimately the Pelicans just suck a little too much.

While Gasol might seem like a homer pick by a Grizzlies fan, he's got a ton working in his favor. Memphis is sixth in the West; somewhere they have absolutely no business being, given they lost Mike Conley for 12 games, have hardly seen Chandler Parsons, and sport a new coach with a rag-tag supporting cast that was wholly unproven prior to this year.

Heaps of credit have to go to Gasol; beyond his usual all-around beastery, he's extended his range on offense, giving the Grizz the spacing they need to adapt and survive in the modern NBA. He operates outside his traditional comfort zone, moonlighting as both perimeter gunner and playmaker. The ensuing space allows Zach Randolph to operate in the post undeterred, opens cutting lanes for Tony Allen, and gives Memphis' youngsters plenty of room to breathe.

He's also been a cold-hearted murderer down the stretch in a litany of close Memphis wins, coming up with huge plays on both sides of the ball, and nailing numerous game-winners. His stats don't jump off the page like Davis', but he's as well-rounded as elite centers come, and has done as much through adjustments and clutch performances to help his team as anyone in the league this year.

Stay tuned for the reserves, coming next week! 

The Best Dunk Contest Ever.

I figured I should cut to the chase here and let title speak for itself. 

Apologies to Mike and 'Nique. Too bad for Vince and the No-Contest in Oakland.

The circus that Zach LaVine and Aaron Gordon just put on was the most innovative, thrilling and generally jaw-dropping display in the history of NBA All-Star Weekend. Regardless of Will Barton and Andre Drummond's somewhat-likely flameouts, this was always going to be a two-man show that the league smartly set up by pitting the reigning champ and possible Dunk Contest GOAT against a guy with well-documented past exploits.

Even the most naive optimists couldn't have fathomed the level on which LaVine and Gordon delivered; the script they wrote tonight was too ridiculous for anyone else to conceive. We actually watched a guy pass the ball underneath both his legs while jumping over his mascot's head. And he didn't win.

It's the boundless creativity that separated this contest from the hallowed Wilkins/Jordan showdowns of the 80s. Back then, the surface of contest dunking was only being scratched and it wasn't that tough for transcendent athletes like those guys to deliver something we'd never seen. But there's really only so much a guy can do with a ball in mid-air while also slamming it into a ten-foot hoop. A lack of creative progress crippled the Dunk Contest for years; most forays into new dunking realms ended with a painful blooper reel of botched attempts.

The Lavine & Gordon Show constantly pushed the envelope though; time after time delivering not only never-before-seen dunks, but ones that were put down crisply on the first or second attempt while the anticipation was still peaking. Despite Shaq's stingy judging, there were more 50's being thrown up than a circa-2004 G Unit song. Andrew Wiggins looked like he'd just watched a

cherished pet get hit by a car.

Their efforts were so insane that determining a winner took double overtime, for which both competitors somehow had extra shells in the chamber after their imaginative plans unfolded. While LaVine ultimately took the crown, Gordon matched - and perhaps surpassed - him dunk-for-dunk throughout, assisted by Stuff the Magic Dragon, easily the NBA's best-named mascot, and now also the runaway best cameo ever in the Dunk Contest.

It's easy to say that Gordon was robbed - as plenty about the internet have done in the half-day since. His energy was boundless, his creativity was limitless, his execution was spot-on, and his head was quite literally above the fucking rim on most of his dunks. What he did last night would've toppled just about any dunker in the contest's history.

But perhaps the lone exception is LaVine. He's an absolute zenith of contest dunking. The boundaries

of possibility that he stretches so casually are changing the game. As Kenny Smith pointed out last night, it used to be a big deal when Dr. J or Mike dunked from the free-throw line, but LaVine just used their iconic moment as an easel: I'll catch an alley-oop from there. Then I'll windmill. Next I'll put the put the ball through my legs from a step inside it. And act all "no biggie" while my teammates spaz out like 4-year-olds at a bouncy castle.

Last night not only brought the Dunk Contest "back" but injected an aggressive HGH schedule into its veins. Any of the rumblings that the 3-Point Shootout becoming All-Star Saturday's main card were viciously gunned down. It was a thrilling back-and-forth joust, a legendary game of "Can You Top This?", and may even be guilty of setting the bar too high for the future.

LaVine, Gordon, and the NBA really outdid themselves last night. There's lots of superlatives to lace the events with, but the result is simple: the league has never seen a better Dunk Contest.

Banter's 2016 All-Stars

All-Star voting. Don't get me started.

Whatever, too late. The whole process is backwards; starting with the fan voting. It's a popularity contest, which at the same time is used as a highly-touted yardstick when measuring a player's legacy and/or Hall-of-Fame credentials. The sometimes-quizzical coaches do a by-and-large better job of putting the right guys on the bench, but even they are subject to bias and error.

The NBA made a nice adjustment a few years back, eliminating the forced "Center" position to reflect the increasingly perimeter-oriented nature of the game. But even that measure has left out many deserving players, with more All-Star caliber guards than the NBA has ever seen.

Put simply, there's fewer All-Star spots available to the positions with the most talent. A "Perimeter"/"Frontcourt" designation with more spots allocated to the former would make a logical next step for wing players- we live in a world where Kobe Bryant was somehow just voted in as a Forward.

While the coaches did a mostly solid job of mopping up the mess left by the starters' voting, let's wipe the slate clean and travel to an alternate universe where I decide the All-Stars because I'm clearly smarter than every NBA coach, and the millions of fans who cast votes.

Using an abstractly weighted assessment of the player's overall season (Personal Performance x Team Success), I've come up with the 24 guys who truly deserve to be repping the title "All-Star" this season; the guys who have defined the season with outstanding play. Here are Banter's 2016 All-Star picks:

EAST STARTERS

G - Kyle Lowry

Lowry was already an elite two-way PG, but over the summer he lost a visible amount of weight and has thus attacked this season with the voracity of his former self at In-N-Out. Still an aggressive bull on both ends, Lowry's now a step quicker, and possesses greater bounce. It's translated to him averaging career-highs in (points+assists), rebounds, and steals - the latter of which he sits 2nd in the league.

Meanwhile the Raptors have somewhat-surprisingly been perhaps the East's steadiest team this year, and the only ones really threatening Cleveland's #1 seed. Canadian fans pulled a last-ditch rally to bump Lowry into the starting lineup for the 2nd straight year, and there's no question this time it was deserved.

G - Jimmy Butler
Much like Lowry, Butler's a menace on both ends of the court for one of the conference's best teams. While the Bulls have had some periods of adjustment through a new coach and their usual boatload of injuries, Jimmy's been a monstrous presence, carrying Chicago offensively for stretches and willing them to wins by himself on several occasions.

Unfortunately it's doesn't look like the Windy City has enough huff & puff to challenge Cleveland in the East this year, but even with John Wall's recent rampage of box score destruction, Butler's been the better season-long player for a top-3 team, making this spot his.

F- LeBron James
25/7/6, with a combined 2 steals/blocks per game would be a banner year for 99.9% of the NBA. For LeBron, it's become routine, beyond the point of being taken for granted. The Cavs have coasted to the #1 spot, even through chemistry issues, injuries and unforeseen coach-firings, and LeBron's pretty much been LeBron; as automatic an All-Star starter as has existed in the NBA.

F- Paul George
Both the Pacers and George have cooled off slightly after completely scintillating starts to the season, but in a conference somewhat light on compelling cases for starters, PG is a total no-brainer. He's rebounded from his injury-porn broken leg to have his best year statistically so far.

Moreover the Pacers have been pleasantly competitive over a first half marred by injuries and large doses of unfamiliarity on a mostly-flipped roster. Even if they'd slid outside the playoff bracket, George would still be a must-start.

F - Paul Millsap
Lost in the usual rhetoric about the Hawks' team play and their slight stumble in the East standings is that Millsap is having an absolute monster of a season. Already one of the NBA's most versatile players, he's currently averaging career highs in all five of the major statistical categories. He sits top-10 in steals, top-20 and blocks and rebounds, and top-30 in scoring. Millsap's brilliance has been subtle (aside from this vicious assault on John Henson) and unheralded, but he rounds out a fairly obvious East frontcourt. #SmallBall.

EAST BENCH

G - John Wall
Has been playing the best ball of his career over the past six weeks. Even with the Wizards decimated by injury and performing well below par, he needs to be here.

G - Demar DeRozan
DeRozan's smoothly transitioned from a mid-range gunner to a relentless attacker who shoots the third-most free throws in the NBA. He's top-ten scorer on a top-two team, making it very hard not to give the host Raptors a 2nd All-Star.

F - Carmelo Anthony
Melo has been getting jerked off a lot lately for trusting his teammates, trying on defense, and more or less playing the way everyone's been wishing he would for a decade now. Regardless, the Knicks are far less of a laughing stock, so Anthony's All-Star stock has risen as well.

F - Chris Bosh
Not that the Heat "need" an All-Star by any logical stretch, but both Bosh and Dwyane Wade (who's been remarkably durable this year) carry decent cases for bench spots. In the end, the Boshtrich gets the nod, largely due to having more potential roster spots and less competition.

F - Andre Drummond
If you can stomach the absolutely abhorrent free-throw shooting, Drummond's a destructive force that's cleared a path for Detroit's seemingly likely return to the playoffs. Hasn't dropped as many 20/20s lately, but still has left a large crater in this season.

WC - Isaiah Thomas
The first Wild Card spot goes to Thomas, who's having a borderline-dominant offensive season as the heartbeat of the wily, cagey Celtics, who thanks to the new division champs rules, are a game back of homecourt in the East.

WC - Pau Gasol
This spot comes down to a bunch of guys with somewhat-compelling cases. I changed my mind 2 or 3 times and went with Pau, still putting gaudy numbers on the board for a top-3 team, which none of the guys below can really front on.

REGARDS TO: Kemba Walker, Al Horford, Reggie Jackson, Dwyane Wade, Nicolas Batum, Kevin Love

WEST STARTERS

G - Stephen Curry
Duh.

G - Russell Westbrook
Westbrook's been a supremely destructive force on box scores and defenders alike, offset only slightly by Kevin Durant's return to health. Russ sits 7th in scoring and 2nd in assists, accounting for more raw offensive output than anyone but Chef Curry. For good measure, he also leads all guards in rebounding, and the entire league in steals.

Westbrook's relentlessly undying energy is a perpetual force of nature on the basketball court. You can expect the reigning All-Star MVP to put up a solid title defense, simply because he doesn't understand the meaning of "not trying".

F - Kevin Durant
It hasn't taken long for the Slim Reaper to slay all that preseason fretting about his foot and the total hatchet job OKC's medical staff pulled on it last year. Playing slightly fewer minutes than seasons past, his output is par for the Durant course, among the league's scoring leaders, shooting dangerously close to 50/40/90. Welcome back KD.

F - Kawhi Leonard

That season we were all waiting for, when Timmy, Tony and Manu finally turned the reigns over and Kawhi Leonard was fully unleashed, is happening. Not only is he continuing to wreak utter havoc on the defensive end, he's dropping a career-high 20/game on arguably the most efficient-shooting season in NBA history. Not even LaMarcus Aldridge's arrival has been enough to offset the assertion that it's Leonard Time.

F- Draymond Green
You have to love Draymond Green. He backs up every single brash and/or boisterous statement he makes with a pure embodiment of (sorry, Grizzlies) Grit and Grind. This guy isn't a transcendent athlete, he wasn't blessed with any otherwordly talents (like, say one of his teammates). He's just a very smart basketball player who hustles on every play and has busted his ass over the past 18 months to expand his game.

As a result, you'd be very hard-pressed to name a more versatile player in the league, such that he's averaging numbers nobody has since Grant Hill 19 years ago. To boot, Dr. Dray kicks in almost 3 steals/blocks per game, while capably guarding as wide a range of opponents as anyone. Curry may be the Warriors' best player, but Green is their heart, hustle, and a borderline MVP candidate himself.


WEST BENCH

G - Chris Paul
The Clippers were a sinking ship in November, but Paul's return to full health has sparked a dramatic resurgence in Blake Griffin's absence. They're back in the top-4, largely due to CP3's dominance on both ends.

(side note: I single out "CP3" as one of two examples of those dumb, once-trendy initial-to-number nicknames that should be used. The monosyllabic rhyme-rattle just works too well. The other is CB4, which is probably the coolest thing Chris Bosh has ever initiated, even if unwittingly.

G - James Harden
Houston's been a pretty big disappointment this year, but Harden's been a beast. You can only penalize a guy so much for his team, and there's no denying The Beard belongs. He's still putting up LeBron-esque numbers, so book his ticket.

F - Dirk Nowitzki
The Mavs aren't quite a team that demands an All-Star, but their unexpected status as mortal locks for the West playoffs is noteworthy, as is Dirk's refusal to quit leading a competitive team. This isn't a "Legacy Nod" like the fans gave Kobe, this is a "Still Got It" nod.

F - Anthony Davis
The Pels have been bit by the injury bug, the inconsistency bug, and the "All our Centers Suck" bug, but Davis is doing what he can. He hasn't yet displayed the growth many had hoped for this year, but the player he already was is really fucking good.

F- DeMarcus Cousins
Another West star who started the season in an injury-mired funk, Cousins has been Godzilla on the block this month, averaging an absurd 34 & 14 on 61% True Shooting. The Kings are also fighting for a suddenly-available playoff spot, making the All-Star game an official Boogie Nights production.

WC - Klay Thompson
The competition for the final two spots here was a lot fiercer than in the East, but Klay seems like a relatively easy pick. His numbers have dipped ever-so-slightly with Curry in GodMode, but Golden State might be the best team in history, so, you know...

WC - Damian Lillard
Finally there's the often slept-on Damian Lillard, who's been putting up outrageous numbers for a Portland team that maybe five people on Earth thought would fight for the playoffs this year. Even if he's a crappy defender, he's a destructive offensive player whose team's highly-unlikely 'success' propels his case.

Regards To: Marc Gasol, LaMarcus Aldridge, DeAndre Jordan Gordon Hayward, Rajon Rondo

Zach LaVine: Dunk Contest Hero

So obviously Zach LaVine just totally owned the 2015 Dunk Contest last night. Despite a spirited effort from Victor Oladipo, there was very little to be done about LaVine's seemingly imminent victory. 

His first dunk was an instant classic, entering to the Space Jam theme performed live by the Quad City DJs, rocking a Tune Squad jersey, and then - on his first attempt - unleashing a seamless off-the-bounce between-the-legs reverse that made some of the World's most gifted athletes prance around like hyperactive children and broke Julius Erving's face:

You knew then and there this thing was a wrap, the broadcast had been switched to the Zach LaVine Hour.

He proceeded to go on a rampage the likes of which the Dunk Contest hadn't seen in years, breathing fresh air into the lungs of a rapidly-dying event. Over the past decade or so, everything from a lack of star power, to gimmicky sideshows (The Kia, 'The Wheel', Nate Robinson), corrupt judging (#FreeDemar) and some insidiously stupid rule changes had maimed what was once All-Star Saturday's marquee draw. After last year's unmitigated disaster (which had exactly one exciting moment, and then abruptly ended), there was extra pressure on the '15 contest, especially the 3-Point Shootout trotting out the A-Team and threatening to steal much of the spotlight.

LaVine's performance last night was an inspiring declaration that the Dunk Contest still mattered; that it wasn't broken beyond repair. Even in an underwhelming field (Giannis Antetokounmpo was a dud and I'm unsure as to why Mason Plumlee was selected to begin with), he carried the show and more than made up for the total lack of outcome-related suspense by building huge anticipation and delivering time and again. Further, he finished very difficult dunks on the first or second try, a refreshing display after years of painfully drawn-out brick reels. It was dominant, transcendent, and couldn't have come at a better time for an event that desperately needed a jolt.

Extra kudos has to go to Adam Silver, or whoever he appointed to scrap the heinous bastardization of a Dunk Contest the NBA tried to serve us last year: the one that had the dunkers on teams, got rid of the first round, gave everyone a single dunk in the finals, and technically didn't crown a champion in the end. The quick return to the classic format was a must; a step back from the contest being in full-on crisis mode. But then Lavine shoved it a few yards further for good measure, delivering a bunch of 'holy shit!' moments, and giving people good reason to be excited about the contest again.

Having LaVine back to defend his crown will give next year's contest default excitement, and with hope the buzz he's created will stir up more competition - although after what we witnessed last night, it's hard to picture what someone beating him might look like.

There's little telling where the Dunk Contest will go from here, but Zach LaVine rescued it from its darkest hour, and gave it hope for a brighter future.

Banter's 2015 NBA All-Stars

Basketball Banter has returned after a(nother) prolonged absence, to break down the All-Star ballot and figure out who should really be playing under the Garden's bright lights next month.

Normally I'd also be handing out some midseason awards this time of year, but I just finished those up for BallOverAll this weekend as most teams crossed the 40-game threshold. I figured re-typing the whole thing would be a pretty futile exercise, so you can check out the picks here.

Now onto the All-Stars, for whom fan voting officially ended yesterday. While the 'fans' have generally gotten better at actually paying attention to the league and not just voting for the most recognizable names, their collective appraisal of a few players (#Kobe) still leaves a lot to be desired. As such we're likely to see a few deserving players get the dreaded snub, but that's something to bitch about later. For now all that can be done is to hope to coaches get it right when casting their ballots for reserves - a process that is usually a challenge in itself.

My logic in voting is based on a somewhat-abstract weight of individual performance, and team relevance so far this season. Obviously there's a certain floor for teams standards; someone on, oh...I dunno, let's just say...the Knicks, can't even be brought up. But barring a complete Hindenburg of a season by a given player's team, they'll be considered. This is the All-Star Game after all, the best teams will get their due in the Playoffs.

Further, I take into account the player' entire body of work - including the 'popcorn stats' (pts/rebs/asts, etc), efficiency indicators, importance of their contributions to the team's success, and any other intangibles (like Damian Lillard's pathological cold-bloodedness in the waning minutes of close games).

What follows is a breakdown of each conference: The Starters (two guards, three frontcourt), The Bench (two guards, three frontcourt, and two "wild card" players of any position), as well as the "Regards To" (your basic snubs, the guys who I actually considered at some point), and "Milk Carton" (perennial All-Stars who, for a variety of reasons, just weren't in the conversation).

Let's get into it:

EAST ALL-STARS
STARTERS:

Kyle Lowry, Toronto Raptors
Lowry easily could've been Toronto's All-Star last year in Demar DeRozan's stead. But this season he's channeled yet another level, becoming an elite point guard in an era where the position's just completely, utterly stacked. He's been the pace-setter for the best NBA team Canada's ever put forth, looking svelte, and playing with a gritty tenacity that belies his new fat contract (among by buddies he's affectionately known as "Pudge Lowry", a nickname we might have to retire). One of the very best guards on both sides of the ball this year, Lowry's not only a no-brainer All-Star, but a fringe MVP candidate.

Jimmy Butler, Chicago Bulls
Somewhere between sorta and completely out of nowhere, Butler evolved into one of the NBA's most effective two-way players. This past summer, he summoned a quasi-deadly off-the-bounce game from scratch, and improved his shaky jumper, becoming a welcome offensive presence for the Bulls. He still plays suffocating defense, only with the added cachet of being the go-to perimeter option that Derrick Rose hasn't consistently provided. Like Lowry, he's been a monster on both sides of the ball, and his inclusion here - despite a strong showing from John Wall - is a must.

LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
So let's face facts: The Cavs have been depressingly underwhelming over the first half of this year, and the Default MVP is having a blatantly pedestrian season by his standards. But this is LeBron we're talking about here, the Best In The Game, the guy who was relevant, pompous, good enough to have brought the NBA to a standstill and caused pop-culture cataclysm with his last two free agencies. The only thing keeping him from being a starter in this Eastern Conference is a JR Smith-related suspension.

Paul Millsap, Atlanta Hawks

The Hawks are absolutely crushing right now - winners of 13 straight, comfortably atop the East, and playing a selfless, balanced game that reflects Mike Budenholzer's 17-year tenure as an assistant on the Spurs bench. They could field (in some people's opinion) as many as four contenders for spots on this team. Despite a recent a surge from Al Horford, Millsap has been their best big man, comfortable shooting form distance or in the post, and leading all PF/Cs in steals. He's also pulling down over a rebound more than Horford each game, and looking like a great alternative to the guy he replaced in ATL.

Pau Gasol, Chicago Bulls
He's still got it. Buried on some gawdawful Lakers teams for a few injury-nagged seasons, the O.G. (Original Gasol) is back, as nasty as he ever was. Pau's giving Chicago 19/game with career-bests in rebounds and blocks, as one of the rare uninjured Bulls this season. His recent 46/18 pulverization of Milwaukee was one of the season's standout performances thus far, and his play is one of the main reasons nobody's counting Chicago out in the East.

BENCH:

Jeff Teague, Atlanta Hawks
Teague's been monstrous for the Hawks, and is even getting some distant MVP burn. He plays with deadly quickness, but precise control, and is piloting the NBA's hottest team right now.

John Wall, Washington Wizards
Speaking of deadly quickness, Wall's playing extremely well and buoying the East's Dark Horse through early injuries. A near-starter.

Chris Bosh, Miami Heat
While the Heat have been pretty suspect this year, Bosh is doing what he can; rediscovering his identity as a go-to option. An easy selection in a weak conference.

Nikola Vucevic, Orlando Magic
It's hard to penalize Voose for playing on a crappy team, not in the East where most of the teams are pretty crappy, and he's basically doing 20/11 for a squad that's only four games back of 8th in the East, despite being fourteen games under .500.

Andre Drummond, Detroit Pistons

Since exorcising Josh Smith from their roster, the Pistons are on a serious Playoff push, and Drummond has gone full Hulk Smash after a very shaky start to this year.

Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat
I honestly thought Wade was going to start coming apart at the seams this year - so much for that. He's been impressive when suiting up and - despite recent shooting woes - appears to have something left in the tank.

Brandon Knight, Milwaukee Bucks
The last wild-card spot came down to a deathmatch between a bunch of guys who really didn't scream "All Star!". Knight takes the last East jersey with his strong, efficient line for (Hawks aside) the East's surprise team.

Regards to: Al Horford, Joakim Noah, Kyrie Irving, Kevin Love, Marcin Gortat, Kyle Korver, Kemba Walker

Milk Carton: Al Jefferson, Derrick Rose, Carmelo Anthony

...And now to head out West, where we find perhaps the most confusing, abstract clusterfuck of potential title contenders in NBA history. A lot of very talented players make up those teams, and plenty of deserving candidates won't be getting the All-Star spot they'd surely earn in the East. Life's unfair sometimes I guess.

WEST ALL-STARS
STARTERS:

Stephen Curry, Golden State Warriors

Let me first start this off by pointing out how ludicrously unfair it is to have to pick two starters from a flock of West guards that's playing in the ether right now. A theoretical MVP Top-10 right now could plausibly be half-filled with players eligible for these spots; cutting so many to the bench seemed insulting.

With that said, Steph Curry might be the MVP at this point. So he's here. Curry's just been nothing short of lethal for the NBA's surprise best team. His gaudy numbers have slid inches with Klay Thompson and Draymond Green becoming more diverse and integral offensive cogs, but the Warriors' dominance this year makes Curry's lines all the more impressive.

James Harden, Houston Rockets
Neck-and-neck with Curry for MVP, and perhaps slightly ahead by most definitions, Harden's been a nuclear force on offense (and noticeably improved defender), carrying the Rockets to one of the West's best records through a slew of first-half injuries.

Anthony Davis, New Orleans Pelicans
Just when every prototype of a future power forward was supposedly a floor-spacing perimeter gunner, along came the Brow and reminded us that there will always be a place for omni-talented freak athletes with massive wingspans who bounce off the hardcourt like a trampoline. Such has been Davis' year, putting up eye-popping stat lines off of minimal touches (his usage rate is fucking 36th in the NBA. Actually.), producing one of the most all-around efficient seasons in NBA history.

Marc Gasol, Memphis Grizzlies
He's been argued as the NBA's best all-around big man for a couple seasons now, but this year Gasol's come out and just ended the debate with a well-rounded romp that's put him in the center (accidental pun) of the MVP discussion. He does everything short of filling the Gatorade coolers for Memphis, who have solidified themselves in the upper tier of West contenders.

DeMarcus Cousins, Sacramento Kings
The NBA (properly) developed the "Frontcourt" designation for All-Star voting a few seasons back, to recognize the more abstract and perimeter-oriented nature of positions in today's game (and spare us from the token mediocre, clearly-not-an-"All Star" center getting an ascribed nod). Well, with freedom comes excess, and I'm using it to start two centers, along with a guy who could be one in most systems. Screw it - needs to be done.

Boogie's been Godzilla on the block this year, demoralizing teams from the low-post while becoming one of the NBA's best-passing centers, and actually trying on defense. The Kings' performance during his bout with viral meningitis was a night-and-day difference, as this former-headcase of a behemoth is finally "getting it".

BENCH:

Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers
The Clips have been inconsistent through stretches this year, but it's hard to blame CP3, who's putting in a monstrous year in terms of point guard efficiency.

Damian Lillard, Portland Trailblazers
Illard, Killard, Thrillard; whatever you want to call him, he's become the most feared late-game gunner in the NBA (with good reason), and has taken his defense to new heights, propelling the Blazers to a higher level.


Blake Griffin, Los Angeles Clippers
Griffin's fallen in love with his jumper a bit too much at times, which has seen his shooting dip below 50%. but he's still one of the game's better all-around bigs and can't be excluded from the bench.

Tim Duncan, San Antonio Spurs
Father Time once came knocking for Tim Duncan, and got a bank shot nailed from the high post over his outstretched arm. This season's been a vintage Timmy performance, still so smooth after all these years.

LaMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trailblazers
Lillard's been Portland's most high-profile monster this year, but Aldridge has been no slouch himself, defying the stigma of the mid-range jumper as the NBA's best PF with two eyebrows.

Russell Westbrook, Oklahoma City Thunder
He may have been injured for the season's first month, but Westbrook has just been devastating since returning, putting up MVP numbers and loudly demanding a spot, regardless of time missed.

Klay Thompson, Golden State Warriors
The other Splash Brother's broken through to bonafide All-Star status, with his more diverse offensive arsenal playing a key role in the Warriors' dominance this year.

Regards to: (clears throat) Mike Conley, Monta Ellis, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwight Howard, Serge Ibaka, DeAndre Jordan, Tyson Chandler, Zach Randolph, Eric Bledsoe, Rudy Gay, Ty Lawson, Jrue Holiday & Draymond Green

Milk Carton: Kevin Durant, Kobe Bryant, Tony Parker, Rajon Rondo, Goran Dragic, David Lee

And that's the truth. Let's hope the real rosters look something like this next month in the Big Apple.

Banter's 2014 All-Star Ballot

Every NBA season, I leave my All-Star voting as late as possible, not because I'm a huge procrastinator (guilty), but to make the most developed and informed selections. As flawed as this democratic process may be, I'll be damned if my vote's going to waste.

So with voting closing in a couple days, who deserves to go to the show? Which players have been the most dominant and influential on this season so far? In the case of most of the Eastern Conference, who has simply sucked the least? Let's start with something my vote actually counts for; the Starters:

Leastern Conference

G. John Wall, Washington Wizards
The East's guard scene is dangerously anemic this year; not only are perennial All-Stars Rajon Rondo and Derrick Rose goners, but Dwyane Wade's sat a quarter of this season, and it's showing both in the Heat's record, and LeBron James showing signs of fatigue for the first time in his life. Deron Williams' injuries have been the key contributor to Brooklyn's train-wreck season, and even heir apparent Kyrie Irving's stuck in reverse with Cleveland being all kinds of awful under Mike Brown.

So ring up a vote for Wall, by default the best guard in the East so far this season. He's averaging career highs in points, assists and steals, and while his overall shooting % is down slightly due to his sudden love of 3-pointers (3.8/game up from 0.9), he's at least managed to crack 32% from beyond the arc. While Wall might be one of the NBA's more egregious jump-shooters, he's a lightning-quick athletic beast who scores well near the hoop and becoming one of the NBA's better playmakers. This year, that makes him the most suitable candidate to suit up among East guards.

G. Kyrie Irving, Cleveland Cavaliers
I tried to give this spot to both Demar DeRozan and Lance Stephenson; the Cavs have been mostly putrid (only compounded by their League Pass announcers) and Kyrie continues to be one of the worst starting PGs in the NBA on the defensive end. Still, he's rebounded from a slow start under the constraints of Mike Brown, while no other guards in the East have truly stepped up to take what was his spot to lose.

Giving this spot to someone else would be as much punishing Irving for his franchise's ridiculous decisions this offseason (hiring Brown again, drafting Anthony Bennett, signing Andrew Bynum - although they could've done much worse than flipping him into a Luol Deng freeroll) as anything, and against this weak a field, it seems like too much.

F. Paul George, Indiana Pacers 
His numbers have tapered off slightly from a torrid start that had him in the thick of the MVP discussion, but George has firmly delivered on the promise he signaled last spring as an elite swingman. Both Indiana's go-to scorer and top perimeter defender, he's the man on the East's best team, making his presence here a given.

F. Carmelo Anthony, New York Knicks
It's no secret the Knicks have been God-awful this year, but if there's one person who can't really take any of the blame, it's Melo. Stat-wise, his season has been more or less on par with last year (a couple fewer points, a couple more rebounds, and basically identical %s), when he was garnering MVP buzz. Meanwhile, the team around him has basically imploded; from Tyson Chandler's leg injuries, to JR Smith's head injury, to the roster injury the Knicks suffered by acquiring Andrea Bargnani. It's mostly gone to shit, but few things haven't in the East this season .


F. LeBron James, Miami Heat
He's better at the game of basketball than anyone on Earth right now. Let's save some time and move along...

Bestern Conference

G. Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers
Even if CP3 won't be able to lace up for this year's game, it would be a theft not to acknowledge yet another brilliant season. Before his shoulder injury, Paul was his typical self; the most complete point guard on both sides of the ball, and the only NBA player averaging double-digit assists on the year.

G. Steph Curry, Golden State Warriors
One of the toughest decisions this year (other than picking at the leftovers of the East Guard Buffet Platter) was Steph Curry vs James Harden for the 2nd guard spot. Both the lead triggermen in high-octane offenses. Both are capable of suspect defense. Their teams have nearly identical records. And both are doing impressive numbers that leave little room to differ; in fact their PER is within .14 of each other.

The edge goes to Curry for his superiority as a scorer/playmaker, accounting for a higher clip from scoring+assists while turning the ball over at a lower rate. Curry also rebounds nearly as much as Harden from the PG spot, so yeah, I'm starting four point guards in the All-Star Game. Deal with it.

F. Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder There's one guy in each Conference who doesn't need an explanation. This is the West's.

F. Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves
The Wolves have been kind of a bummer this year, but kinda like Kyrie in Cleveland, it's hard to fault Love much. Beyond Kyrie, Love is having a monster 25/13/4 season as the 3rd-most efficient player in the NBA behind LeBron and Durant. And this is the All-Star Game.

F. LeMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trailblazers 
Having a career year for the West's surprise contender, Aldridge has emerged as perhaps the A's best midrange scorer, anchoring a Blazers offense that's, well, (sorry) blazing. Always one of the League's quieter stars, he's announced himself on the highest level very loudly.

(Write In: Miles Plumlee, Phoenix Suns)

As for the reserves, I don't happen to be coaching an NBA team at the moment, so my vote doesn't really mean much, but if I had a ballot, here's what it would look like:

Leastern Conference

G. Demar DeRozan, Toronto Raptors
Well, this happened. I'm not entirely sure how, but I'm voting a Toronto Raptor into the All-Star Game. DeRozan's been a consistent spark for the Raptors, not only becoming a legitimate first scorer in Rudy Gay's absence, but dialing up his defensive focus as T-Dot has begun taking the Atlantic by storm. Double D's been the go-to guy on - gulp - the East's third-best team so far, good enough for a Least nod.

G. Lance Stephenson, Indiana Pacers
Sudden triple-double machine Sir-Lance-Alot is racking up impressive numbers, confined within one of the NBA's slowest-paced teams, playing with the kind of swagger reminiscent of another Coney Island veteran. Lance has made 'em dance all season, and his emergence is one of several reasons why the Pacers are safely atop the East for now.

F. Chris Bosh, Miami Heat
Bosh, if nothing else, is staying balanced as an NBA entity. As he continues his seemingly eternal evolution as an awkward internet meme, and is on the butt end of endless jokes, his play leaves less and less room for criticism. His embracing of (and improvement in) the center position has allowed Miami to do what they do, so don't let the falling numbers fool you into thinking he can be excluded.

F. Paul Millsap, Atlanta Hawks
Millsap's developed a reputation as one of the NBA's most sneakily-skilled power forwards; an ace second-fiddle behind guys named "Al" in post tandems. Horford's pectoral injury has not only put P-Milly on an island as the lone interior scorer for the Hawks, but left a vacant spot on this roster for him to assume.

Like many names you're seeing here, the "All-Star" prefix may seem excessive, but understand what we're working with here.

F. Roy Hibbert, Indiana Pacers
It's fairly evident what Hibbert is at this point: a 12/8 guy who plays at a slightly higher level in the Playoffs, especially (and understandably) vs Miami. More valuable to Indiana, Hibbert is the new Dwight Howard; that interior force who disrupts everything around the hoop and forces many teams to alter their attack plan. It's because of him that "Verticality" is the second-trendiest NBA term behind "Corner Three" right now, and Indy's ruled the East enough to deserve an All-Star triad.

W.C. Luol Deng, Chicago Bulls Cleveland Cavaliers
I can't punish Luol for Derrick Rose's injury and recently being traded to a team that by no other measure deserves a second All-Star. Not in such a weak Conference. Deng's ability to deliver top-level play on both sides of the ball, with unwavering consistency, makes him one of the League's most undervalued players. It's a shame the Bulls didn't get more for him.

W.C. Andre Drummond, Detroit Pistons
Some may see this as mildly premature, but again, this is this season's Eastern Conference, and the pickin's for healthy and worthy All-Stars have maybe never been slimmer. Meanwhile, Drummond's been beasting for Detroit, emerging as one of the A's best young big men in his first season as a starter. You just have to ignore certain things in the East, like Drummond's 38% foul shooting, or how only 27% of the Conference is over .500.

Snub Squad (if such a thing exists for the East): Kemba Walker, Jeff Teague, Greg Monroe, Kyle Lowry, Joakim Noah, Dwyane Wade, Michael Carter-Williams

Bestern Conference

G. James Harden, Houston Rockets
As explained above, almost had Harden starting, but ultimately Steph Curry's just more dynamic on offense and more influential to what makes his team successful. Not to knock Harden; 25/5/5 on a good West team is a strong season, especially with individual scoring rates falling with the rise of metrics-based analysis.

G. Tony Parker, F. Tim Duncan, San Antonio SpursNow that all of us have finally gotten used to the idea that the Spurs aren't going to fall off until Parker and Tim Duncan's appendages do, it's only right that the best team in the West be properly repped for its methodical excellence. They've been doing what Miami's trying this year by pacing themselves 'til the Playoffs for several seasons now. It shows in that they're keeping their stars fresh, while sitting atop the far tougher Conference. With Pop coaching again, it's only appropriate.

F. Blake Griffin, Los Angeles ClippersAnyone who still thinks of Blake Griffin as a one-dimensional athletic finisher needs to wake up to the progress he's steadily made. This season in particular has seen marked improvements in his toughness, jump-shooting, decision making, passing, and attention on defense under Doc Rivers. He's not quite on the Love/Aldridge level, but he's not far beneath it.

F. Dwight Howard, Houston RocketsHoward's days as the undisputed ruler of the NBA Paint may be behind him, but this season he's denied those who hinted at his demise, by turning back the clock - slightly - with a rejuvenated game hardly seen with the Lakers. If Marc Gasol had been healthy, this spot would've been a fight, but D12's back in All-Star form.

W.C. Damian Lillard, Portland TrailblazersThe West bench wouldn't be complete without Dame Dash; a terror for the League's best offense, and saving his best play for the most crucial moments. He remains a defensive liability in most matchups, but Lillard propels the Blazers to the tune of 109ppg - most since the D'Antoni Suns - and Portland's 2nd in the West.

W.C. Anthony Davis, New Orleans Hornets
With the final spot on the West roster, I'm invoking the Kevin Love clause yet again, because Davis is exploding in his second season as a two-way franchise force, despite the Pelicans' reluctance to, er, take flight. Regardless if his team doesn't really deserve the recognition, this is a game that's supposed to honor the NBA's best players and at a certain point, you have to draw the line. And they're hosting All-Star Weekend, which apparently means something, so here he is.

Snub Squad: DeMarcus Cousins, Dirk Nowitzki, Goran Dragic/Eric Bledsoe, Serge Ibaka, Klay Thompson, Monta Ellis, Ty Lawson

My 2013 All Star Ballot

Voting for the NBA All-Stars is always a painful process for me.

While it only takes a couple of minutes, and doesn't cost a penny, it's an attempt to put forth an honest assessment of the NBA season so far; casting a vote for the players I truly feel deserve to be there, that generally represents a flawed system. I know any attempt to have the most deserving players in the game will be bastardized.

See, anyone with a rational understanding of basketball and/or politics knows that NBA All-Star voting is no less a popularity contest than a 5th Grade class president election. Fans of all ages, exposures to the game, and levels of bias/education/intelligence have a say as to who starts (as it technically should be in any democracy) but it all too often sees the wrong players donning the All-Star threads (for dramatic examples see Ming, Yao and Carter, Vincent Lamar).

To make matters worse, both fans and coaches (who vote for reserves and often suffer from the same bias/ineptitude issues) were shackled by position restrictions that mandated the inclusion of dubious players. Thankfully, the League has spared us the Jamal Magloire Experience this year and abandoned the forced inclusion of centers, finally realizing that evolving athleticism has almost caught up with size and a lot of their best players aren't big men anymore.

While this revelation takes some of the pain away, it still numbs my brain to know that 218,246 people think Kevin Garnett deserves to be starting (as he likely will be), and Ray Allen has the 5th-most votes of any guard in the East. Before I vomit all over my keyboard and can't write the rest of this, let's get to the rational side of the argument (I know mine's just an opinion too, but at least it's thought out and backed up), Banter's 2013 All-Star Ballot:

EAST

Lebron James
I'll get the obvious one out of the way after Lebron spent 2012 jamming his size 17 signature Nikes down every hater in the World's throat and shows no signs of his reign ending anytime soon, now that he's shooting 3's at a 40%+ clip and looking even more unguardable. He's done settling the "best player on Earth" status, so while he works on the "best of all time" spot, he's a lock for this game.

Carmelo Anthony
Aside from a certain incident involving a bus and some Honey Nut Cheerios, 'Melo's been everything the skeptical masses demanded from him coming into this season from a basketball standpoint. He's still scoring at an All-World rate, but within the flow of his team's offense and not to the detriment of New York's win total, which is higher at this point in the season than it's been since Patrick Ewing was in town. It was a given that fans would be voting him in anyway, but unlike last year, Anthony has a positive leader on an East contender, making his place here well-earned.

Josh Smith
There were several deserving big men for this spot (Tyson Chandler and Joakim Noah most notably) but consider my inclusion of three swing forwards in the East's frontcourt as a slight "Fuck You" to the NBA for the years lacking centers appearing in this game. Smith was a deserving candidate last year, but had his spot given to his own overrated teammate by the coaches. Now that Joe Johnson's being paid too much money by another team, Smith has singled himself out as the biggest reason why Atlanta's performing at a level above last season, and everyone's expectations. He's an all-around beast of an athlete who stuffs stat sheets like few others and will be good for at least a few jaw-droppers when he makes his first All-Star appearance (keep in mind this guy tried to do a between-the-legs dunk in a playoff game once).

Paul George
Speaking of athletic stat-stuffers, George has come into his own this year as the bona-fide Man on the Pacers. Long-considered their most talented player, PG's rise was somewhat hesitant after Danny Granger went down and left a scoring void that he was capable of filling, but hadn't been called upon to at the pro level. When it became apparent that newly-minted Max-Man Roy Hibbert wasn't getting the job done, George came out in beast mode, not only filling the scoring void, but doing just about everything for the Pacers, who still lead the Central despite the absence of their most accomplished player. George has been a capable scorer from inside and out, and will only become more dangerous as his confidence grows, showing enough stride over the past couple months to reduce Indiana's former All-Star swingman to trade bait.

Rajon Rondo
Stat-padding aside, Rondo's been by far the best point guard in the East so far this season, and although it's becoming apparent he'll likely never be a consistent outside threat or decent free-throw shooter, he affects the game in so many other ways that borderline on dominance. His awkward effectiveness is only heightened by the fact that he both looks and plays like an extra-terrestrial, but there's no denial of his being elite on both sides of the ball, and though Boston's typical early-season quagmire's been murky this year, Rondo still has to be here.

WEST 

Tim Duncan
The Spurs are again defiantly staring Father Time in the face, rocking a top-3 record in the West and looking every bit like the legit Title threat we've learned not to count them out as. At the forefront of this (all respect due to Tony Parker) has been Duncan's trademark methodical brilliance, which to still be doing at his age, after so many deep playoffs runs, is just remarkable. There really isn't much to go on about here, Duncan's been an elite NBA player for longer than most of us can vividly remember, and his regulated-minutes numbers are incredible for one of the League's most dangerous teams. He's blocking 2.6 shots/game this year. In 30 mins. At age 36. Seriously.

Kevin Durant
One of two no-brainers in the West, Durant has been playing above adjectives as OKC shook off the sudden James Harden trade, started completely obliterating teams at Durant's whim, and now look like the favorites in June. He's taken his D to another level and is fucking with the offensive Holy Grail of .50/.40/.90. If you cast a ballot that didn't have his name on it, you should try watching curling, you're not a basketball fan.

Marc Gasol
Either Gasol or Zach Randolph had to be here, and choosing between the two was relatively difficult. It ultimately came down to Gasol's versatility: he's a capable scorer who's also the best playmaking big man in the NBA and the backbone of a defense that ranks near the top of every major stat category league-wide. Randolph might be Memphis' go-to guy in the clutch, and he's a couple of monster nights that have single-handedly won them games, but Gasol's subtle brilliance is more important to the Grizzlies in an all-around sense, and the once-infamously one-sided trade that saw him swapped for his brother has been re-written.

Chris Paul
As increasingly difficult as it is to wrap my head around the concept that the Los Angeles Clippers have the 2nd-best record in the NBA, there should be little doubt in the ability of this young man to bring out the best in even the most historically flawed franchise in pro sports. Paul's credentials really don't need to be repeated; he's by a wide margin the League's best quarterback, and his presence gave the stingiest billionaire in the World enough confidence to invest in this team and provide a pleasant contrast to the depressing mess going on with LA's other team.

James Harden
The irony is that BY FAR the toughest decision on this ballot was choosing between Harden and his former OKC running mate, Russell Westbrook. The reality is that Harden has been an absolute monster on Houston so far, completely justifying his unwillingness to take less money from the Thunder by proving himself  as an elite 2-way player that a franchise can build around; exactly the kind of player Houston had been trying to land for years, and the only reason they'll be challenging for a playoff spot down the stretch. The further irony, of course, being that after several seasons of All-Star searching after Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming drifted away, Rockets fans will get to see Harden rep their team in the big game on their home floor.

Your REAL 2011 All-Stars

Let's face facts: the All-Star voting process is a joke. It starts with the fans: yeah, the ones who voted AI in last year (and Yao every year); the ones who clearly, for the most part, have no fucking clue what's going on. It continues with the coaches: the ones who toss votes at guys who torched their teams because of mismatches and who ignore the obvious merits of good players in favor of good teams, the ones who, to a lesser extent, have no fucking clue what's going on (I'm looking at you, Rambis). It's even further constrained by position restrictions on bench players; ones that ensure that every year, at least 2 or 3 undeserving players will be annointed 'All-Stars' by exemption...and only adding to the list of deserving snubs.

So here's the 24 guys who deserve to be there; the ones who have been the best players in the NBA this year (while respecting the League's right to still mandate backup centers). Not the ones who play roles on the best teams, but the ones who have, through a combination of excellence and relevance, defined this season.

EAST STARTERS

G - Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

In a game where there's sure to be lots of debate about selections, this spot is a rare lock. Rose has been a monster this year; abbrasively assaulting so-called "defenses" while keeping the Bulls near the top of the East amid key injuries. The best-scoring PG in the league and early MVP hopeful.

G - Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics

Without question the most dominant non-scorer in the NBA, Rondo's taken his already unfathomable improvement to new heights this year, racking up Stockton numbers in assists while providing transcendant defense and excellent rebounding. He's even starting to ice his jumper more comfortably, which is a truly frightening development...

F - Lebron James, Miami Heat

The Hometown Hero's now the Twisted Villain, but regardless of his public persona 180, James has remained the game's most feared player, and had the Heat coasting until his recent injury. Some still claim he's MVP-worthy (hard to justify with two others playing so well) but there's no question; he has to be here.

F - Amar'e Stoudemire, New York Knicks

While the MVP talk has hushed with the Knicks' recent struggles, Stoudemire has remained a top-notch scorer and sudden defensive presence who has contributed most heavily to New York's return to respectability. Not to mention, his pairing with James and Howard in the frontcourt makes for an alley-oop tandem that could only be topped if Blake got traded East.

C - Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

A sudden explosion of quality East big men might make for more deserving reserves, but Dwight's starting spot is far from being challenged; only a season-ending injury could keep him out of this spot and let's face it; that's not ever going to happen.

THE BENCH MOB

G - Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat

Wade's been everything he has expected to be when Miami's Superfriends joined forces. While Miami's no longer solely looked upon as "his team", he's clearly still a no-brainer for this game on star power and reputation, if not for another year of All-NBA production.

G/F - Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics

Seems kind of dramatic, but it needs to be done. All three of these guys are having amazingly efficient a productive seasons for the team that's still leading the East despite more injuries than any playoff contender. Allen has been one of the most clutch and effective scorers in the League, while Garnett's regained his legs and looks like his '07 self, and Pierce still has barely lost a step.

C - Al Horford, Atlanta Hawks

While the Hawks' general play this year has been nebulous, Horford has served as a model of consistency and toughness; arguably their best player. He might be the quietest All-Star ever, but his play has been remarkably efficient and absent of the mental lapses and cold streaks that have troubled Atlanta.

Wild Card - Chris Bosh, Miami Heat

He's sure to be accused of riding coattails to this spot, but Bosh was an All-Star long ago (some would say since the Jurassic) and has been even more of a contributor to Miami's recent success than many figured him to be.

Wild Card - Carlos Boozer, Chicago Bulls

I feel like a Loozer putting two ower forwards at each of the spare spots, but in a conference as shallow and top-heavy as the East, it's hard to deny 'Los when he's been a complete monster for a top-3 team when the other two teams have 3 and 4 players on this squad.

THE SNUB SQUAD

Raymond Felton, New York Knicks

Felton's career year has surpassed even the lofty expectations of those who expected him to excel in D'Antoni's open system. He's putting up ridiculous numbers night after night, and probably would've had Boozer's spot if New York had kept up their December play.

Joe Johnson, Atlanta Hawks

Johnson got overpaid last summer, then came back underperforming. Can't say this any better than Bill Simmons, so I'll let him handle it: "This would be a reputation pick. Like when you start watching an Ed Norton movie you've never heard of on cable just because Ed Norton was starring in it. And if Ed Norton was making $120 million to be in the movie." Sorry Joe.

Danny Granger, Indiana Pacers

The former All-Star's seen his scoring dip for a Pacers squad that's struggled to keep up with their early hot start and slid out of the playoff bracket. In a year when many forwards are making a strong case for the "good player, shitty team" nod, Granger's failed to plead much.

WEST STARTERS

G - Chris Paul, New Orleans Hornets

He has to be here, in a very deep pool of West guards; not only because Paul is (no disrespect) the best point guard in the NBA, he has the Hornets in the thick of the West, with trade and relocation rumors swirling. The continued overachivement of this Hornets team is testament to just how much better he makes them.

G - Kobe Bryant, LA Lakers

Despite the Lakers' minor turbulence and Bryant's injury concerns, he's remained one of the game's most automatic players; a lethal scorer who can toy with defenses as a playmaker and locks down anyone he faces. He leads the defending champs, who are hosting the All-Star game, and hasn't come off the bench in a decade, no time to demote him now.

F - Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder

Durant's early-season troubles were quickly rectified as he began filling up buckets at a league-leading rate. Expectations on him and his team may have been a tad lofty this year, and defensive toughness might be the key to both, but KD's spot here is unquestioned.

F - Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks

Garnett got traded, Duncan got old, but Dirk still lurks in the West as a threat to eat the starting spots of deserving would-bes. Before he got hurt, Dallas was one of the best teams in the league and he was an MVP candidate. Now that his team's shown how bad they are without him, he's solidified this spot, still, after all these years.

C - Pau Gasol, LA Lakers

Pau may have slid back to his natural 4 spot, but spent enough time dominating as a center in the early season to merit this spot over, well...to put things into perspective, the second-leading vote getter among centers in the West (after Yao) is Pau's often-injured and clearly-inferior teammate, Andrew Bynum. Clearly, an exception must be made.

THE BENCH MOB

G - Russell Westbrook, Oklahoma City Thunder

Westbrook's blown up; like most of the World Champion USA squad, he returned this year with boosted confidence and polished skills. Unlike most of the squad, he's become a triple-double machine who's also put his name in the MVP conversation, and was a very close snub as a starter.

G - Deron Williams, Utah Jazz

The Jazz have been somewhat of an enigma; very talented, not exactly shallow, well-coached underachievers. The one thing keeping them afloat has been Williams' stellar play; those who call him the league's best PG have a legit claim.

F - Blake Griffin, LA Clippers

Yup. I don't care how poorly the Clippers started. Griffin's been the most exciting -and simply the best - rookie we've seen in a long, long time. As soon as he toppled the rookie wall, his team began rallying around his dominant play and merciless Youtube classics; he beasted any opposition. If he isn't a part of this game, it'll be one of the coldest (and stupidest...you know it'll be good for the game) snubs of all time.

F - Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves

...But what about Melo? Meh, he's (predictably) drifted in and out of attack mode while his trade drama plays out. All Love's done is make nights like 25/18 look redundant, redefining dominance on the glass while banging 3's at a steady clip and passing better than any West big man East of Gasol. Again, let's not penalize him for playing on the NBA's most dysfunctional team; his play has raised eyebrows league-wide, all season in spite of the Wolves' struggles.

Wild Card - LaMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trailblazers

That the Blazers are still breathing in the West now that Greg Oden and Brandon Roy's careers are on very thin ice can be blamed principally on Aldridge raising his play to the upper echelon of big men. This team got decimated by injuries, and robbed of the guy that usually saves them, they might've found their new franchise guy.

Wild Card - Manu Ginobili, San Antonio Spurs

Ok, so I've got some explaining to do here. The team on top of the West and on pace for 70 wins (and yet to hit their patented late-season stride) has only one All-Star. Sounds weird, but the Spurs' success this year might be the ultimate testament to the success of cohesive, balanced teams, certainly the best we've seen since the '04 Pistons. Timmy D has been a shadow of his former self, while Pretty Tony can't make much of a case against his competition for the guard spots. Manu gets the nod as their best all-around player; though him being the only one still seems odd.

THE SNUB SQUAD

Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, San Antonio Spurs

See Above.

Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets

Again, see above. Got ahead of myself I guess.

Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns

This one hurts; Nash has been his usual self this season, but the Suns, sans Amar'e now look like lottery fodder and have people screaming "rebuild"....And people were wondering how Stoudemire would fare after the breakup.

Zach Randolph, Memphis Grizzlies; Monta Ellis, Golden State Warriors

Two very talented players who are simply victims of circumstance: they play on mediocre teams in an extremely talented conference where deserving players are a dime a dozen. Maybe all those trade rumors will fall through and we'll have a better chance of seeing them next year.

Advanced apologies to the many deserving players who will be watching from the sidelines after the fans and coaches are done mangling this roster. Let's hope they get it right for the most part.

Get Your Popcorn: The 2010 NBA All-Star Game, (not really) Live on Basketball Banter!

In about 5 minutes, the NBA's midseason classic will be getting underway. The 2010 All-Star Game has been billed a spectacle unlike any before. Mark Cuban's idiotic hyperbole ("It will make the Super Bowl look like a bar mitzvah") aside, this will be a huge event for the NBA; its 90,000+ attendees make up the largest crowd ever to watch a basketball game. Despite some key injuries, it's also the best collection of talent on a court together this year...and after the joke of a dunk contest we all labored through last night, us NBA fans are hungry for some highlights. After some Usher-led intros, tipoff's getting set, so let's get involved:

- West wins the tip. Quick Nash to Nowitzki for an 18-foot jumper. Early MVP favorite? After a Lebron miss, another Dirk jumper...not convinced yet?

- A whole lot of jumpers so far. A couple airballs. Melo just made the first move to the hoop but couldnt hit the rim either...Lebron finally responds with a trey to put the East on the board.

- Amare puts back a yet another bricked jumper for the game's first dunk. Not to be outdone, Dwyane comes back off the backboard and onto Steve Nash.

- The game's starting to open up a bit now, the West is driving, dunking...hahaha aaaand Dwight hits a 3. Career first? Then he bricks one off the dribble next time up court? Stan must have a good sense of humor. He gets back to business quickly, pinning Melo 10 seconds later, then finishing with an and-1 tomahawk at the other end.

- Apparently the behemoth this game's taking place in will also host the Super Bowl and Final Four in the next 3 years. Jerry Jones is doin' his damn best to get his $1.5 billion worth.

- 5 left in the first and we're knotted at 20. The refs are calling a clean game so far, couple surprising whistles. The East is still bricking a lot of jumpers, the latest offender: 3-Point champ Paul Pierce.

- Dallas heroes collide as Chris Bosh cleans up an inevitable East brick and puts a disheartening crowning on the Dirkster. Bad news for Diggler all around as Melo's doing his best to stymie the MVP early; he's already halfway back downcourt by the time his 11th, 12th and 13th points fall through the net.

- We hear from Craig Sager; haven't seen his suit yet.

- The East's jumper woes are finally cured by...Rajon Rondo? Somehow they're up.

- Gasol gets mugged by Bosh and Howard and the refs give him a goaltending call? The elephants (..can't really call them zebras..) are really earning those paychecks tonight. 37-34 East after one.

- As the 2nd quarter starts....shit Deron can get UP!..sorry, the broadcast highlights the elevated court the game's being played on, a recent trend in new arenas. I dont get this. Has 'severe injury' written all over it if a player chases a ball out of bounds...not that we'll see that tonight tho...

- The boys are starting to put on a show now; Wade's dunking on everyone, Deron's pushing everything, tossing and catching alley-oops, really making the most of it now that he's finally here.

- TNT's about to air a segment called "What It Takes to Be an All-Star". In the West? Don't get injured. in the East? A playoff team.

- D-Fish in the house. The NBAPA pres is on hand with more nervous kids than a Neverland Ranch party for a special 'NBA Cares' presentation. Couldn't they do the CSR bit at halftime?

- Back to the game; Derek Rose gets loose in transition...Deron to KD for a huge cram...DWade puts down his 27th dunk of the night, a nice slashign tomahawk. Been a nice game so far....not enough to make upfor last night but its a start.

- Finally we get a Craig sighting sideline with Kevin Durant. His attire's surprisingly subdued this evening; a red blazer dapperly adorned by what appears to be a black suede suit. He's got these stupid shiny things on his tie though...he just couldn't resist.

- We also have our first Chris Kaman sighting. Enjoy it folks, won't last long.

- The East is starting to hit a few jumpers now, has a few nice transition buckets, and a 7-point lead at the half. Melo's got 17, but the East has 4 guys in double figures. Between the lax D and these guys being the best players on the planet, you have to think the home team's gonna start finding the net in the second half.

- Halftime performers: Alicia Keys and Shakira...Well done, Mr Stern.


- Shakira ascends to the stage in a cage, has apparently hired Britney Spears' old wardrobe manager, and the camera's giving ample attention to her..um..ass(ets). I can't stand the song she's singing, but still enjoying this as much as the game.


- Now for some Songs in A Minor. This lady's got one of the smoothest voices out there. Unfortunately, Alicia went a more conserative route with her attire...still though...damn.


- USA Basketball introduces their squad for the upcoming World Championships, offering up what has to be a somewhat sarcastic "we wish the best of luck to all teams competing in Turkey" while lining up the best players in tonight's game and flanking them with some of the nicest young guns in the L.


- Alright, 40 minutes later, it's back to the game. Opens with...another ugly brick from the East.


- Dwight decides to man the point and goes coast to coast for a dotted-line slam. Shaq can say what he wants about the guy but he's a fucking monster and he knows how to put on a show. That being said, nobody should try to punk Superman's nickname, he sparked that beef.


- Wade to D12 for a nice one hand slam on the break. His head's well above the rim on the replay...with the East up 14, Howard's suddenly making an MVP push.


- Lebron airballs a trey...and just when I was about to write something slanderous, he catches a feed from Wade, clutches a reverse slam and sits on Tim Duncan's head...and serves a nice encore on the next play.


- Out of a timeout, Bron returns the favor a tosses Wade a lob on the break. James is even hitting jumpers now. My Dirk prediction's looking worse every minute.


- This is getting ridiculous. As Bron skies for a soaring 2-hander on the break, we're reminded that Wade's got a double-double with 20 and 10 dimes. The West is looking gassed, like they really coulda used those injured bodies.


- Durant ices one from the parking lot as the buzzer sounds. It's 118-109 for the East going into the fourth. Melo's got 25 to lead all scorers.

- 108,000 and change in attendance. Not shabby.

- West comes out on a tear and cuts it to two in just over a minute. Guess we're gonna have a game on our hands here.

- Celeb Watch: Jigga, P Diddy, TO, Chris Tuckered; lookin like he's 60, Gabrielle Union (anyone got her on Facebook?), The Governator, and of course Spike Lee.

- Wade saves/lobs behind his back to Lebron on the break...who saves it between his legs to Rondo...who dishes behind the back to Wade.........who loses it as he goes up and gets fouled. Rats.

- Next time up the floor, Zach Randolph lays the hardest foul in All-Star history on Wade as he flies baseline.

- The odd whistles continue, a backcourt violation leads to a goaltend to knot the score at 124.

- Rondo pilfers the rock, straddles the sideline, and hits Wade for a nice oop (I'm pretty sure all Wade's field goals tonight are dunks); East up 4.

- For some reason, they're still showing those lame dunk contest ads with those spoken-word poets begging for a night that "goes down in history" and "gives us something to read about"...were they watching? Fuck off already.

- Wade with another steal, another dunk, another nail in the MVP coffin?. The East is looking like they're in control, up nine with 3:30 to go.

- A pair of free throws from Dirk cut it to 5 a minute later. The East is back to bricking jumpers...stay tuned....oops another steal leads to a Lebron breakaway dunk...and Chauncey comes back with an icy 3. Mr Big Shot indeed.

- Another Nowitzki trip to the charity stripe, and it's a two point game with a buck thirty left. Too early to ask for overtime?

- Chaaauuuunceyyyyyy. Billups ties it with a stepback right in Wade's mug.

- The game is tied, 30 seconds left, 100, 000 people on their feet, Deron Williams....dribbles into traffic and turns it over...and then fouls Wade with 11.2 left under the false pretense that his team was down two. Dwyane hits both, setting up what's either going to be a very thrilling or very stupid conclusion.

- They draw up a screen to free Dirk for a triple. Dwight bites on a pump fake and sends Nowitzki to the line, where he inevitably hits both. Tie game with 7.7 left...

- So who's getting the shot? My money's on a Lebron iso...but no a screen for Bosh off his own inbound. He gets tripped and wets both at the line...enough with the free throws already.

- 5 seconds left...does Dirk get another shot at the win? Instead Melo bails on a trey, the East wins a tight one 141-139. Wade's gotta be the MVP. Between the high-flying antics of Howard, Wade and James, a halftime show that looked (..and mostly sounded) better than The Who, and a relatively thrilling game down the stretch, the largest crowd ever to watch a basketball game got their money's worth. Even at like $500 a pop for nosebleeds.

- Confirming the obvious, Dwyane Wade takes down the MVP. All in all, a pretty entertaining evening, but I'm all outta popcorn. I'll get back later this week to break down the trade deadline madness, til then, peace.