The Best Dunk Contest Ever.

I figured I should cut to the chase here and let title speak for itself. 

Apologies to Mike and 'Nique. Too bad for Vince and the No-Contest in Oakland.

The circus that Zach LaVine and Aaron Gordon just put on was the most innovative, thrilling and generally jaw-dropping display in the history of NBA All-Star Weekend. Regardless of Will Barton and Andre Drummond's somewhat-likely flameouts, this was always going to be a two-man show that the league smartly set up by pitting the reigning champ and possible Dunk Contest GOAT against a guy with well-documented past exploits.

Even the most naive optimists couldn't have fathomed the level on which LaVine and Gordon delivered; the script they wrote tonight was too ridiculous for anyone else to conceive. We actually watched a guy pass the ball underneath both his legs while jumping over his mascot's head. And he didn't win.

It's the boundless creativity that separated this contest from the hallowed Wilkins/Jordan showdowns of the 80s. Back then, the surface of contest dunking was only being scratched and it wasn't that tough for transcendent athletes like those guys to deliver something we'd never seen. But there's really only so much a guy can do with a ball in mid-air while also slamming it into a ten-foot hoop. A lack of creative progress crippled the Dunk Contest for years; most forays into new dunking realms ended with a painful blooper reel of botched attempts.

The Lavine & Gordon Show constantly pushed the envelope though; time after time delivering not only never-before-seen dunks, but ones that were put down crisply on the first or second attempt while the anticipation was still peaking. Despite Shaq's stingy judging, there were more 50's being thrown up than a circa-2004 G Unit song. Andrew Wiggins looked like he'd just watched a

cherished pet get hit by a car.

Their efforts were so insane that determining a winner took double overtime, for which both competitors somehow had extra shells in the chamber after their imaginative plans unfolded. While LaVine ultimately took the crown, Gordon matched - and perhaps surpassed - him dunk-for-dunk throughout, assisted by Stuff the Magic Dragon, easily the NBA's best-named mascot, and now also the runaway best cameo ever in the Dunk Contest.

It's easy to say that Gordon was robbed - as plenty about the internet have done in the half-day since. His energy was boundless, his creativity was limitless, his execution was spot-on, and his head was quite literally above the fucking rim on most of his dunks. What he did last night would've toppled just about any dunker in the contest's history.

But perhaps the lone exception is LaVine. He's an absolute zenith of contest dunking. The boundaries

of possibility that he stretches so casually are changing the game. As Kenny Smith pointed out last night, it used to be a big deal when Dr. J or Mike dunked from the free-throw line, but LaVine just used their iconic moment as an easel: I'll catch an alley-oop from there. Then I'll windmill. Next I'll put the put the ball through my legs from a step inside it. And act all "no biggie" while my teammates spaz out like 4-year-olds at a bouncy castle.

Last night not only brought the Dunk Contest "back" but injected an aggressive HGH schedule into its veins. Any of the rumblings that the 3-Point Shootout becoming All-Star Saturday's main card were viciously gunned down. It was a thrilling back-and-forth joust, a legendary game of "Can You Top This?", and may even be guilty of setting the bar too high for the future.

LaVine, Gordon, and the NBA really outdid themselves last night. There's lots of superlatives to lace the events with, but the result is simple: the league has never seen a better Dunk Contest.