Top 9s - Show and Prove

Welcome to Banter's newest feature: Top 9s.

The temptation to rank players, teams, events, dunks, plays or whatever else is almost inescapable for anyone with a brain and an opinion. I also happen to have an outlet, a boredom problem, and suffer from separation anxiety between early June and late October, so I figured having some rankings on here to pass time and spark discussion every now and then wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Why the Top 9? Well, it's just a 9.

Coming into every NBA season, there's players with something to prove: a spot in the NBA to secure, a starting job to battle for, a contract year to put on for. But some stakes are even higher; reputations, legacies: historical shit, not only for the players themselves, but sometimes they carry the weight of entire franchises and the expectations of countless fans on their shoulders. This adds another compelling layer to the NBA's dynamic story and lets us see who's truly made of fire underneath it all. So without further ado, the first edition of Top 9s: The Most to Prove This Season

9. Jeremy Lin

Seems like a logical place to start. Lin's flash in the pan last season caught the NBA's entire stove on fire and made a World-wide celebrity of a player who was out of work just weeks earlier. His controversial offseason departure from the team he'd briefly resurrected - something about a grown billionaire holding an insecure grudge like an 11 year-old girl - not only landed him on a new squad suddenly bereft of talent, but promised to make him a very rich man relative to his NBA accomplishments. We've seen plenty of guys go on tears for crappy teams and disappear before (the name Ronald Murray comes to mind) but Lin flipped the script involuntarily. When Houston inked him that back-loaded offer sheet, they promised to make him a poster boy for the League's spending issues, but when James Dolan felt spited and refused to match (which was just monumentally stupid. I know it's a lot of money, but this guy just made your team over twice the amount you're going to pay him over the next three years. In two months. Get over yourself.) Lin became a focal point of whatever the hell Houston's got going on this season. If he keeps up his level of play from last season, he'll easily be the best player on their team, put talks of his contract to rest, and ensure James Dolan get less of it. But it's that "if" part that has everyone wondering...

8. Zach Randolph

Last season was an absolute disaster for the Grizzlies. They came into 2012 with serious playoff ambitions for the first time in their franchise's history, and Randolph was being celebrated as the NBA's most lethal low-post threat. Well, Z-Bo tore his MCL and missed 37 games, throwing Memphis' season into a flux that set a dubious record along the way to putting the words "playoff disappointment" in a Grizzlies fan's vocabulary. After returning, Randolph wasn't his same self. Part of this was due to Memphis' inability to align him offensively with Rudy Gay, but also that Randolph tends to put on a rather convincing Yokozuna impersonation when sedentary. The months on the shelf made it harder to regain his form, being rushed back into the lineup in time for the playoffs. Reports from apparently reliable sources point to Randolph now being fully healed from the injury, and carrying around several less pounds than last year, which is sure to be easier on his legs. He'll have to be healthy and motivated to re-assert himself on the level he did in 2011, which the Grizzlies need wholly if they want to get back on the right end of playoff dream-crashing.

7. Deron Williams

Time was, a lot of people in the know considered Deron Williams the best point guard in the NBA. "Time" seems like an eternity ago, but this "was" around 2009 and since then, not only has the League's overall point guard talent blown up like the Gangnam Style video, but Williams has spent time on some very questionable teams, not to mention the wrong end of a feud that apparently ended Jerry Sloan's career (seriously, we're talking a 23-year tenure in a field where the average life expectancy of a position is worse than a hemophiliac wrapped in barbed wire in a shark tank - must've been some deep shit). Now that the Nets have found a new home with Deron locked into a long-term deal, they can start to build towards the lofty goals their celebrated owner has set for them, with Williams steering the ship. A lot of eyes will be on Brooklyn; they've been much-ballyhooed over everything from their flashy new arena, to their owner's ambitious 5-year title plan, to their attempt to resurrect a borough and revitalize The Mecca's basketball scene. And I also remember reading somewhere that Jay-Z's involved with the team apparently? Sounds cool. With the ante as high as it possibly could be for a team in a new city, a lot of it will rest of D-Will's shoulders after Dwight didn't happen and the team overpaid for the rest of its roster. If ever there was a time to boldly re-claim his status on the shaky PG totem pole, it's now.

6. Kobe Bryant

Regardless of how much he accomplishes in his storied career, Kobe's more or less a formality on this list. He's spent the past 15 years cultivating a niche as by far the most polarizing figure in the NBA (you hear that so much it becomes trite) by giving puritans, underdogs and most casual fans every reason to hate him, while spellbinding others with undeniable talent, bulletproof work ethic, and an indomitable love for the game. This season is the same story: coming off an inevitably-much-scrutinized 6th place showing in ESPN's #NBArank, Bryant will have to adjust his Bieber-like usage rate from last season and mesh his offensive tyranny with the Lakers' new arrivals if they hope to live up to the hype surrounding them. As his legacy would dictate, most of the skeptics' questions surround his role: "Will Kobe be OK with Nash controlling the tempo?", "How's he going to react when his shots get cut in half?", "Is the Staples Center locker room big enough for his and Dwight's ego?", "He's not the man anymore. He won't like it." But, as is perpetually the case with Kobe, no matter how he addresses these issues this season, you can count on there being more for him to face.

5. James Harden
In most cases, having a career year where you exceeded lofty expectations and won the 6th Man of the Year award would put you far away from having anything to prove. I use the word "you" because, unless you're James Harden, this hasn't happened to you. Setting the tone for this contradiction was Small Game James's complete dud of a Finals: put bluntly, he played by far his worst ball of the season when it mattered the most. As if that weren't enough, he spent the offseason watching free agents get thrown money like GMs were drunken, insecure recent Bellagio jackpot winners at the Spearmint Rhino, and demanded his own max money, driving a very awkward curveball into the Thunder's long-lingering long-term financial dilemma. Playing in a small market, with two max deals already on their roster (at least they extended Ibaka before he played himself into that conversation) Harden's threatened a divide in Sam Presti's plan to keep this young core together. He's currently a fringe max player at best (at least in anything even vaguely resembling a sustainable economic model) and Presti could get heaps in return from a team more able fork over the money Small Game James is seeking. The future of the Thunder's composition could very well lie on Harden's play this season, and whether he proves himself too valuable to lose.

4. Roy Hibbert

As you've probably figured out by now, the words "max deal" are being tossed around the NBA these days like "swag" and "YOLO" are by hip-hop wannabes, nowhere more evident than in Indiana, where ascribed All-Star Hibbert (who for argument's sake posted career bests of 12.8/8.8 last year, offering a defensive presence that, while valuable, was at-most 4th best among East centers) will be raking in as much money as he possibly can next season. The obvious questions are 1. "Does he deserve it?" and more importantly, 2. "Does this completely screw over the Pacers?" Neither can really be answered right now, because Hibbert is still only 25, has improved very dramatically over the past two years, and from all skills, conditioning, and attitude perspectives seems bound to continue. But the Pacers aren't prime candidates to bite the luxury tax bullet, and now have a ton of money tied up in Hibbert, while having made no significant upgrades this offseason. This means it'll up to guys like breakout-ready Paul George, and more so the dude this paragraph's about, to take Indiana further in a conference where they almost beat the NBA champs last spring, but have seemingly regressed against the competition up top.

3. John Wall
It was all too good to be true. Wall showed almost too much potential, his athletic ability was so far ahead of its time when he was drafted. He was Derrick Rose, only faster end-to-end; a perfect palette with which to paint a legendary point guard. Something had to go wrong. Enter the Washington Wizards. Enter Andray Blatche. Enter Nick Young. Enter Javale McGee. Rather than let his quarterbacking talents blossom, Wall was a relative daycare employee, and after a promising rookie campaign, hit a serious sophomore slump last season. Fortunately for him, the headaches appear to be gone; the immature mess that once marred the Wiz's roster has been replaced by stable veterans down low, and given way to another promising young gun (3rd pick Bradley Beal) to share Wall's backcourt. All the pieces appear to be in place for him to get back on the path to superstardom, but sometimes it's the immense amount of talent that's so difficult to harness. John Wall has all the potential in the World, but along with the possibilities, comes the potential for so much to go wrong.

2. Carmelo Anthony
Carmelo Anthony and Lebron James have been on very contrasting NBA journeys since their once-storied rivalry as high school and NBA rookie phenoms. Their stories met again this past year, linking up as Olympic teammates and putting on clinics as the US took the expected Gold. They face yet another indirect crossing as they return: in the same season James took himself from clear first to dead last (as in the entire League) on this list, Melo's inability to win became a popular topic among hoops pundits who wondered if he'd ever make the leap from hardcourt gunner to transcendent winner; be the Slim Charles of the NBA game (he's from B-More after all). Now almost a decade into his career with 0 Finals appearances under his belt, Anthony will be under the microscope like never before; his Olympic outbursts and triumph are fresh in everyone's minds, but we've all known he was a World-class scorer from Day One. What remains to be seen is everything else: Can he defend? Can he defer? Can he make those around him better? And, obviously, Can he win? Your move, Melo.

1. Dwight Howard
I'm sorta out of words at this point, not because I have a hard time justifying this slot or had a Writer's Block dropped on me, but there's really nothing more to be said about Dwight Howard that hasn't over the past 18 months. To sum things up for anyone who might be a new NBA fan or is simply nauseous from all the bullshit: Howard demanded a trade from Orlando, publicly denied it, then publicly confirmed, then denied it again (shit, who even really knows), mailed in all of last season, got his coach fired, attempted to model the team in his own image, got his GM fired when that didn't work, all the while acting immaturely in the media and with a lack of transparency that sabotaged his team's ability to move him effectively, so that when they ultimately were forced to, they got completely and utterly shafted. To say that he's humiliated the NBA would be a minor understatement, surely substantiating every negative stereotype about professional athletes held by the conservative public. The bad news for Dwight is that he's got a lot of making-up to do in the eyes of basketball fans. The good news for Dwight is that he landed in the proverbial Pot of (Purple and) Gold at the end of this shit-rainbow: he's on a team that's seriously threatening to take the NBA by storm, and as still the most dominant center in the League, he'll be right in the eye of it. Cue up "All Eyez on Me" and enjoy your season. 

Got It Twisted: The MVP Ballots

Well, what we long suspected is official: Lebron James has etched his name in another Podoloff trophy, cementing his legacy among the greatest in NBA history, and making him likely, already, the best player to not have won a title. But not only should we be celebrating Lebron's maturation instead of still slighting him for last season, there isn't much to really talk about here; Lebron completely dominated every possible facet of a basketball game this year (even slightly improving his Achilles-esque free throw shooting) and as good as Kevin Durant, Chris Paul, and yes even Kobe were this year, if you don't think Lebron deserves the MVP, then you don't deserve a say in who gets these awards. In fact, one apparent "expert" gave Queen James a fifth-place vote (and another a fourth) which just hurts my brain trying to put into words, so after about ten minutes, I've pretty much given up.

The NBA intentionally allows voters to vaguely interpret "Value" by not setting out specific criteria. While this sparks debate, curiosity, and competition, it also promotes lunacy and bias, allowing for some completely dubious selections, and subsequent fodder for verbal warfare. While I wish the minds that decided these matters were keen enough to steer such an important task through abstraction, it's highly obvious that they need to be kept on a tighter leash, as evidenced not only by Lebron's anomalous 5-slot, but by the following examples of utter ridiculousness:

Dwight Howard - 3rd (1), 4th (1), 5th (5)

This might seem a bit hypocritical; I gave Howard the DPOY a few weeks ago without holding his year's worth of shenanigans against him. I tried to separate his immature mentality from his on-court performance, and felt that even at 75%, he was still he best defender in the League this year, his constant ability to alter a team's gameplan by mere presence still resonating. But this is a whole different story. Let's talk about "Value", principally defined by Merriam Webster as 'a fair return or equivalent in good, services, or money, for something exchanged'.  

The Orlando Magic paid Dwight Howard $17,149,243 this year to help them win an NBA championship. Instead of play his hardest and focus on the team, as he should, Howard half-assed it, coasting through games, expanding nothing about his game, having an obvious disconnect with his teammates, and committing more to his Twitter account than the Magic organization. All year this went on; you could call it pretentious if people weren't eating InDecision up like McNuggets. We thought it had finally come to an end when Howard re-upped at the deadline......But no. After already handcuffing the Magic's ability to build for the future for entire year, Dwight then sought to re-model the team in his eye, beginning with the attempted covert mid-season offing of Stan Van Gundy. As usual, Howard didn't handle things very smoothly and the news became public, creating an awkward rift that conveniently led to his first prolonged injury absence ever and the end of his time in Orlando, as they bowed out of the Playoffs' first round. Aside from being by far the most irritating, Dwight Howard was, at least by some definitions, the least valuable player in the NBA this season. 

Derrick Rose - 3rd (1) 

Not sure what logic led to this selection (likely a couple draught and an Illinois area code), but it's pretty mind-numbing. Derrick Rose is a very good basketball player; the reigning MVP and a consensus Top-10 player. That being said, if you were a die-hard Bulls fan who'd just awoken from a coma, and immediately asked how the Bulls did this year, if I told you Derrick Rose sat out almost half of this season, I could take everything you own on a bet that they tied for the League's best record. Not only is it ridiculous to be giving a vote to a player who spent as much time in Versace as Adidas, this season proved, if anything,    Chicago's a lot better without Rose than any of us thought. 

Dirk Nowitzki - 4th (1), 5th (1)

OK, Dirk put a ring on it, and he was amazing, we all saw. This year? Granted, he was coming back from an offseason of injury recovery and admitted complacency, but let's look at the raw numbers (I hate leaning on stats but this is an easy way to prove a redundant argument): Dirk averaged 21.6 ppg/6.7 rpg this season, shooting .457 from the field. You've gotta dig back to 99-00 - Diggler's second season - to find lower scoring and rebound averages, and he hasn't shot so poorly since his rookie season. The Mavs finished seventh in the West. And two people with the power to alter the course of basketball's most important regular season award think he was a top-five player this year? ......Yeahhhh, fuck off.

Tim Duncan - 4th (1)

This just kinda makes me laugh. All due respect to Tim Duncan and his legendary career, but I can't even really take this seriously, so I'm going to have some fun here; let's lean on more stats: If Brandon Jennings, DeMarcus Cousins, Chris Bosh, Antawn Jamison, Demar DeRozan, Paul Millsap, Tyreke Evans, John Wall, Ty Lawson and Ryan Anderson averaged more points than you did this season, while playing fewer minutes than Hedo Turkoglu, Jared Dudley, Gordon Hayward, Marco Benlinelli, Alonzo Gee, Chandler Parsons and Zaza Pachulia, then you have no place on the MVP ballot. Some moron looked at San Antonio in first place, saw the forest for the trees, then clear-cut the entire thing with his giant theoretical bulldozer.  

Joe Johnson - 5th (1) 

After getting a good giggle in, this just kind of depresses me. It's sad for so many reasons: Joe Johnson's constantly playing at about 85-90%; the Hawks are paying him wayyyy too much money to lead them into a purgatory of mediocrity; Josh Smith has to endure yet another reminder of how much his season was slept on, and Larry Drew will have to deal with another quasi-meltdown as a result. Mostly it saddens me to think that someone who respects their knowledge of basketball enough to cover the NBA as a professional is either corrupted or stupid enough to think Joe Johnson was the 5th-best player in the League this year. In all honesty without a shred of bias of misconception, this guy wasn't definitely the best player on his own team this season, and they middled out in what's still the shallower playoff bracket. What the flying fucking hell is he doing anywhere near the MVP trophy? This is too much: the NBA needs to do something, ANYTHING between guiding these voters and replacing them, because anyone with half a brain who knows basketball and looks at these results has to start taking this as a bit of a joke. And any true NBA fan who has respect for the game and wants the best for it wants to see this award celebrated, not mocked. So, with that in mind, let's salute something they did get right: Your 2012 MVP, Lebron James. 

2012 Banter Awards: Part 2

The NBA needs some new awards. Seriously. Six trophies isn't nearly enough to honor all that transpires during the regular season. Even if they did it on-the-low, less-publicized awards like those ones that get handed out before the Grammy telecast because nobody really cares about them. Plenty of players had seasons that demanded recognition, so giving nods to both the good and bad, here's Part 2 of the 2012 Banter Awards:

Bobby Boucher Trophy - Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers

The player whose arrival on a new team created the greatest positive impact.

The Clippers knew this guy was worth the trouble. Even after their first attempt was stymied, they continued pushing, and haven't come close to a shred of regret. Paul's been almost Frankenstien-like with his ability to assemble such maligned talent and create such a scary monster of a team that has far too many point guards, depth issues, a lethal combination of defensive amnesia and apathy, and a clueless coach whose word his players probably value less than CP3's. The Clips have always been a wayward vessel, but at least they have the steadiest hands possible at the helm.

Regards to: Jeremy Lin, Tyson Chandler, Ramon Sessions

Simmons Beauty Rest Award: Tyson Chandler, New York Knicks

The player who had a ridiculously good year, and everybody slept on very hard.

Safe to say this is not what Tyson Chandler thought he was getting himself into. His offseason departure from the reigning champs was a much-scrutinized pass by a team he'd played a vital role for, but he'd landed in an ideal situation: basketball's Mecca needed a center badly, preferably a defensive-minded one, and had plenty of money to throw at a recent championship catalyst to help their own efforts. Chandler held up his end of the bargain; having his best season ever, completely dummying the FG% category while basically playing 1-5 defensively. And all year, few said a fucking word about his play or gave him any credence for the All-Star spot that ROY HIBBERT was awarded, while his team (bar a certain #17) garnered national headlines all season about how they were imploding around him.

Regards to: Josh Smith, Greg Monroe, Ersan Ilyasova

Canibus Award - Demar DeRozan, Toronto Raptors

The player who looked like he was going to blow up this year, and never became much.

Derozan looked to have it all this year; he was coming off a strong campaign for a rebuilding team that was ready to give him all the shine he needed as a vital cog to their young core. Instead of continue to grow, Demar almost regressed; often playing without the vigor that fueled him last season, and showing a wavering commitment to everything but scoring. Even with Andrea's Bargnani's prolonged absence, Derozan's failed to make an impact anywhere near what his potential suggests. It's certainly not too late for him, but, well... I feel like the LL Cool J beef isn't far off.

Regards to: Javale Mcgee, Nicolas Batum, Deandre Jordan

Justin Bieber Award - Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

The player who was everywhere this year for the wrong reasons; over-exposed through foolishness that warrants some serious down time.

It was Dwight's year; but we all knew that coming in. The looming drama surrounding his impending free agency - and his desire to milk it 'til it bled - was bound to dominate this season from the moment we found out we'd have a season at all. Of course, apart from extremely annoying, this was entirely unfair to the Magic, who had their attempts to reconfigure their roster sidetracked by a year or so.... And even after the months of pretentious indecision, he couldn't even wait 'til after the season to try and get his coach fired. I hate using chat acronyms, but f***ing SMH... That's 2/2 on superstars openly trying to build their brand/public profile in the past couple years, making themselves look like idiots and becoming targets for widespread public scorn in the process. Just give it up and play basketball.

Regards to: Javale Mcgee, Andrew Bynum, Dwyane Wade

Kevin Willis Memorial Award - Grant Hill, Phoenix Suns

The player who nobody could've blamed for retiring a long time ago, and still grinds it out.

Why is Grant Hill doing this? He's 38. He's in his 16th season. He's playing a supporting role on a team stuck in NBA purgatory. That's he's even walking at this point after his busted wheels stole a first-ballot-HOF career from him is astounding. That he's still balling with enough heart to heave led the league in charges drawn last season (I know, it was last season, but still) is truly unique. But why? It's not for the money; Hill comes from a wealthy, well-educated family and has made more himself than even Antoine Walker could blow (ok, maybe not). It's not for a title, otherwise he would've discretely asked for a trade (because he's far too classy to just demand one) long ago. It's for the love of the Game. And that's what this award's about.

Regards to: Kurt Thomas, Anthony Carter, Juwan Howard

JR Rider Memorial Trophy: Dunk of the Year - Gerald Green, New Jersey Nets

Regards to: Lebron James over John Lucas III, the families of Blake Griffin's many victims

Christopher Wallace Award - Ricky Rubio, Minnesota Timberwolves

The fallen player whose team was most hurt by his absence.

Rubio's much-delayed arrival in Minnesota obviously reaped massive benefits; the team that had acquired his rights, and then hoarded point guards as though a nuclear holocaust were approaching (where were Ramon Sessions' minutes) could finally hand the keys over to their quarterback of the future. The on-court translation was almost immediate: Rubio was taking the League by storm with his dynamic court vision and defensive precision, while the Wolves were contending for the playoffs?? And Nikola Pekovic was absolutely destroying people?? Okay, obviously Pekovic's explosion and Rubio's arrival are only loosely connected, but the young Spaniard brought with him something that Minnesota hadn't had in a while: hope. There was a buzz about the Wolves this year; they were competitive, and their disparate parts were playing with a well-oiled cohesion and sense of purpose that nobody expected. That it all basically fell apart when Rubio went down for the season should surprise nobody.

Regards to: Nobody, really. The top three candidates here: Chicago, Memphis, and Atlanta, all played remarkably well in their stars' absences.

Hindenburg Award - Charlotte Bobcats

Given to the NBA's biggest disaster.

It seems redundant and downright cruel to continue bashing the Housecats at this point, but...DAMN. I just slid over to their website to check out their roster for my own amusement, and was greeted with a full-page popup excitedly announcing that the team had signed Jamario Moon?!?!?! Fuck, I'm sorry. This is supposed to be a somewhat-serious award rationale, but I can't even keep a straight face doing this. If Corey Maggette's the best scorer on your team and even a headstrong gunner like him can only muster 15/game...Just fold. No wonder MJ wants out.

Regards to: Washington Wizards, New Jersey Nets, Golden State Warriors (Want to make some easy money? Go find a sports book/dumb friend, throw down on a progressive bet of the Warriors' two best players never making it through a full season together, and wait.)

Congrats to all the winners! Playoff previews coming this week, stay tuned...

Hardware Section: The 2012 NBA Awards

Quite the season it's been.

Considering us fans were 99.8% into the ditch of having no season at all, we should've been grateful for anything, but as we near the end of the most frenetic pre-playoff stretch in NBA history, we can at the very least say we've been thoroughly entertained. The quality of play may have been fleeting, as unpracticed, jet-lagged squads struggled through a workload that even their elite conditioning hadn't prepared them for, but we still had plenty to be happy about:

We got to watch two of the game's greats humbly dominate and lead their teams to the conference penthouse; Derrick Rose and Kevin Durant are still coming of age and have also become legends in the making. Meanwhile, we got to laugh at Dwight's INDecision, and saw the League's former favorite punching bag finally seem to have turned the corner with his unreal play and a sudden air of maturity. The NBA's most tantalizing highlight-reel-wet-dream of a combo was paired up and brought a playoff rivalry to the city of LA for the first time ever, while Kobe turned back the clock and reminded us that '06 wasn't THAT long ago. Kevin Love managed to blow up even bigger somehow, teaming with an almost-forgotten Spanish prodigy and an out-of-nowhere Montenegrin monster to lead the unlikeliest of revivals in Minnesota. We had plenty more to celebrate: Kyrie Irving, Serge Ibaka's Block Parties, Gerald Green (for one night), Javale Mcgee, and the awkwardly ironic sense of competitive parity that this season's hectic nature wrought upon professional basketball....And then there was Jeremy Lin.

So now, let us celebrate the best of the best, the truly elite; those who've beasted 66 games in 120 nights and laid claim to the most prestigious hardware in hoops, the 2012 Basketball Banter Awards:

Rookie of the Year: Kyrie Irving, Cleveland Cavaliers

Just as they were drying their tears from the Lebron era, Cleveland fans were blessed with another first overall pick; a parting gift after a season of misery. They invested it in Irving, who although having missed 9/10ths of his year at Duke, was a can't miss scorer/playmaker.

Few shrugged at the pick, and those who did developed season-ending shoulder stiffness very quickly. Irving was an instant offensive boost who performed in the clutch with veteran sagacity and made this a one horse race even before Rubio's wheels fell off. He may not be Queen James, but really, who is?

Regards to: Ricky Rubio, Kemba Walker, Kawhi Leonard

Defensive Player of the Year: Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

I have a really, really tough time doing this. It's tough because Dwight spent the entire year coasting, his thoughts more directed at the offseason than the postseason; he generally played with the relative intensity of a hormone-injected flamingo. It's tougher because he also undermined his entire team all year, distracting the players with his ongoing foolishness, while handicapping the front office, who lost a year to rebuild while their star flopped about until he got exactly his way. It's even tougher because many worthy competitors made compelling cases, especially Lebron James and Josh Smith, who have re-defined defensive versatility. But nonetheless, even at his worst, Howard's still the best defender in the league. He's just that good. If only he didn't know it.

Regards to: Lebron James, Josh Smith, Serge Ibaka

Coach of the Year: Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs

Some might call this a reputation pick. If you do, I really don't care because it's a total joke that Pop only has one of these trophies, and what happened in San Antonio this season was nothing short of miraculous. The Spurs were write-offs after their first-round dismissal last April; the Death of a Dynasty was proclaimed and people were realistically floating around the once inane concept of breaking up their Big 3. Obviously immune to that nonsense, Pop did as he's always done; made subtle lineup adjustments that kept the Spurs above water, instilling confidence that they'd play through and persevere, while making possibly the fewest XnO errors along the way. After a season that both pundits and fans agreed would be brutal on their aging stars, Pop has steered the Spurs to within two games of the best record in the West, and he's again managed to keep Tim Duncan as fresh as possible for their playoff run. It's a reputation that deserves padding.

Regards to: Tom Thibodeau, Lionel Hollins, Doug Collins

Sixth Man of the Year: James Harden, Oklahoma City Thunder

Very rarely does a player come into the race for an award like this with "it's his to lose" status. Watching him then not only meet those expectations, but laugh at them as Harden did this season, happens about as often as a Dr. Dre album release party. Harden made the entire league Fear the Beard with his adept combination of scoring and playmaking - the kind of seamless balance that's eluded a certain other OKC guard - while playing with a very high IQ that belies his bench status and suggests his ceiling's still a ways off. The numbers are huge, but even they don't tell the whole story. This was romp.

Regards to: James Harden's Beard, Lou Williams, Jamal Crawford

Most Improved Player: Nikola Pekovic, Minnesota Timberwolves

Thanks to a certain New York Knick, the MIP is sure to be more talked about this year than most; Jeremy Lin came out of absolutely nowhere at the perfect time for a reeling squad, and made an epic run that became the story of the season. The hype was incredible, somehow managing to distort reality to the point that something so sudden and historic seemed over-rated. That aside, I've thought about this one very hard, and can't give Lin the MIP for two reasons: first, obviously, he just didn't play enough; his emergence was late into an already-pint-sized season, and was unfortunately cut short. Second, I'm not so much convinced that Jeremy Lin improved as a basketball player, as that he exposed perhaps the greatest collective scouting fuck-up in NBA history.

Meanwhile, Pekovic spent last season as a 6-man, in that he came off the bench and was largely only useful for six fouls. Then this year, Darko Milicic went down (oh no!!), and by the second week of his baptism-by-fire as a replacement starter, Pekovic had evolved into a walking double-double who absolutely punished defenders on the low block and finished with the soft touch Darko couldn't develop after nine years. Nobody saw this coming. Nobody had Nikola Pekovic on their "breakout players" list going into this season; his evolution as a player was exactly what this award's about: a player who rose to the occasion when his team needed it, working his ass off to take his game beyond where anyone thought possible.

Regards to: Ryan Anderson, Jeremy Lin, Kyle Lowry

Most Valuable Player: Lebron James, Miami Heat

Hail the Queen! Two years ago, in my MVP writeup, I said it was going to be very difficult for Lebron James to impress us in the regular season anymore; that even at such a young age his dominance seemed redundant. Well, consider words eaten, as James hit a whole 'nother level this year: the ridiculous numbers were still there, only in fewer minutes. He notched even higher in the PER record books, upping his FG% by adding a once-absent low-post dimension to his game. He burned any faint memories of the once-nonchalant defender, becoming a guy who can now selectively take over games on D and makes a very convincing argument for being the most versatile defensive player in the history of the NBA. All he has to do now, is do it in the Finals.

Regards to: Kevin Durant, Kevin Love, Chris Paul

Congrats to the Official Winners! Part 2, the UnOfficial Awards, drop later this week.

The Requisite MVP Odds Column

It's what everyone's talking about right now, and rightfully so.

Every year, around this time, the MVP discussion blows up the NBA blogosphere (ya, I'm sorry for using that word), and even this season of 11-game nights and mass confusion has been no exception.

Tonight, the Podoloff's two front-runners are facing off in the game that will probably carry the single most weight in the MVP discussion - a clash that couldn't have come at a better time; right as Durant stole the momentum from what seemed like a snap-vote for Queen James. Last year Derrick Rose went completely postal in this such game, actively deconstructing the Heat down the stretch of an ABC Sunday victory that solidified Chicago's 1-seed and his status as MVP, as well as - literally - sending Miami away in tears.

With the debate heating up, now seems like a prime time to lay some MVP gambling guidelines, so here's Banter's Official (don't blame me if you lose a mortgage) 2012 MVP Odds:

Jeremy Lin, New York Knicks: Just kidding.

Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks: 525:1 - This isn't really serious either. It's just a nod to one of the most criminally underrated seasons in NBA history, in which a fringe All-Star stepped up his post presence when his team's center went down for the count, kept them afloat, had one of the most impressively versatile seasons in recent memory, and was cheated out of the Midseason Classic by his own teammate's reputation nod. Shame.

Tony Parker, San Antonio Spurs: 37:1 - If there was ever a doubt about Pretty Tony's HOF credentials, this season bagged it. He's improbably led the Spurs to within striking distance of 1st in the West when everyone had written them off, with Timmy D at a career-high level of irrelevance. With Duncan on the court so little (if you think Zach Randolph and Marc Gasol manhandling an exhausted TD last spring wasn't permanently seared into Gregg Popovich's mind you're mistaken), much of the offense - playmaking and scoring - has rested on Parker's shoulders, and he's responded with the finest season of his career.

Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic: 25:1 - This is right for all the wrong reasons. Sure, Howard's by far the most dominant two-way center in the League, but he seems to lack the intensity and focus that still separate him from someone like, say, David Robinson (not that anyone's ever made that comparison before). Sure, he's the single reason the Magic are in the playoffs, but his year-long InDecision saga is also the reason they haven't been able to position themselves to contend (and also likely responsible for massive levels of stress increase among Magic fans). Sure, he's probably going to be in the MVP conversation every year for the foreseeable future, but it's looking like a longshot that he'll grasp it.

Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers: 18:1 - Kobe's on the rebound. Not only did he just get divorced, but was also just torn away from the most profound basketball relationship of his life, and found Mike F***ing Brown in its place. The result has been an Iversonian offensive reign that has stat geeks spewing rhetoric about his usage rate, and the traffic on a certain German physician's website going through the roof. In essence, Kobe's been the Lakers this year: he sees his window closing, wants to make an impact on the record books, saw the 8th on #NBARank, and has the same respect for his coach's leash as you did for a substitute teacher in the 5th grade. So it's safe to say he deserves most of the credit for them being 3rd in the West and above everyone's expectations.

Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers: 13:1 - Let's call Chris Paul what he is: the NBA's only modern-day Player-Coach. His contributions to the Clippers - particularly in the fourth quarter, where they'd be absolutely rudderless without him - are horrifically underrated and the ultimate testament to how the value of a player can truly transcend the numbers. "Making those around you better" has become such a cliche MVP argument that it almost insults the way he sucks defenders far enough away from Caron Butler for the easiest looks of his career (that he still misses...), creates DeAndre Jordan's entire offensive game or places alley-oops passes too perfectly for Blake Griffin to catch them behind his head. He's the glue holding together a team of talented, maligned pieces and making them a playoff team. That he pulls a Peyton Manning during the fourth quarter of every close game, still has the Clippers (yes, THE CLIPPERS) holding down homecourt, and probably has no chance of winning, is by far the season's most ridiculous MVP fallacy (there's always a few). Which leads me to...

Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves: 12:1 - Love can't be this year's MVP fallacy because his leading of Minnesota's unlikely resurrection has garnered enough fringe MVP buzz that I'm sure a few of the loopier voters are going to give him plenty of love (pun intended). What he is is a perhaps more-poignant 2005 Lebron James: an absolutely dominant player on a (once) hopeful playoff team that has done everything short of filling Gatorade coolers, and calls into debate the true context of "value" as the MVP voting precedent has addressed it. If you took Kevin Love away from the Wolves, it would arguably have more of a devastating impact on Minnesota than any other team losing its ace. In that sense, he should definitely be in the conversation, but because his team was only an 8-seed, and now worse, he stands no legitimate chance, unless the same type of political nonsense that's persisted in any kind of NBA voting (I know how weird that sounds) for years gets completely turned on its head. As much as I'd love to see this guy do it, I'd put my money on one of these two...

Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder: 2:1 - Durant's kind of a weird guy. I don't mean that in a "he strikes me as strange" way (even after that whole backpack thing), but in that he's done something this season that many superstars would never even consider: he's seemingly almost ceded in the Russell Westbrook Power Struggle that cynics feared would ruin their season. He's allowing Westy to continue getting his at an abnormal rate, and being perhaps the most submissive MVP candidate on this list, while still spearheading a trio that, along with Westbrook and Harden is scoring at a more efficient rate on the floor together than any team in NBA history (seriously, look it up). He's one of the League's most feared clutch assassins, and has delivered to the tune of a season-long stint atop the West. Oh, and he completely ruined Lebron James' shit last week.

Lebron James, Miami Heat: 1.2:1 - Obviously, Durant's trending right now after he embodied an OKC trouncing of the Heat and sent today's ever-fickle masses into pandemonium about how there was a new MVP favorite. I'm a firm believer that the human brain has yet to evolve at the same rate as technology to properly handle all the information we're perpetually bombarded with, and I feel like that might be causing some slight amnesia in a lot of NBA "heads". They've forgotten that before an injury brought on the first real regular-season slump of the Queen's career (and, yes I plan on calling him that until he wins a title), he'd spent months making a mockery of the MVP race, putting up the same ridiculous numbers in fewer minutes, creating points with historic efficiency and aptly defending all five positions, lifting the Heat while Dwyane Wade has sunk to (relatively) unfathomable lows. Well, he's broken out of that slump. So my money's on him.

Good luck with your bets, and enjoy your winnings responsibly.

"I Am Not A Role Model"

Immortal words from a man who's dropped almost as many memorable quotes as double doubles over the years. Charles Barkley was talking about all the troubling behavior most parents sneer at and fear from their children's idols: arguing with referees, brawling with the opposition, spitting on fans and talking more shit than anyone around the NBA would dare these days.

But while the NBA's definitely adopted a more (fan-) friendly approach since the M@P unleashed an almost 9/11-esque overhaul of public policy, basketball's very essence has allowed the league to manufacture a product that's very quickly creating a different kind of harmful role model.

Let's call the NBA what it is: the most star-driven of the Big 4 North American team sports. Not only is basketball the only one where any given star doesn't spend half the game on the bench, but its nature fosters the potential for players to dynamically affect the game in so many ways. Knowing this (and also knowing that Michael Jordan was a once-in-eternity blessing for them) the Sternbot and his cronies have gradually developed (through everything from their promotion style to hand-checking rules that pamper perimeter scorers) a league that puts even more emphasis on their best players, which has shown to exacerbate the already-bloated ego of the typical professional athlete.

The drama unfolding as we speak is pathetic: A guy who's far and away the most dominant two-way player at his position in the NBA (and has been for years despite not having given 110% in any game for about three seasons now) is holding a franchise, hell an entire city of sports fans, hostage at the trade deadline, feigning a slight interest in commitment so he can be courted in Free Agency. This guy (it's Dwight Howard for those of you who haven't figured out by now) has become just the latest in a long line of players who've manipulated franchises - usually for the worse - to get what their way (as if they didn't have enough), taking advantage of how important an asset they know themselves to be. It's a new breed of NBA star: the Diva. It's a disturbing and ridiculous trend.

Vince Carter. Stephon Marbury. Kobe Bryant (the OLD Kobe Bryant...Might also be worth noting that his diva act directly led to two championships). Lebron James. Chris Bosh. Carmelo Anthony. Add Howard to the list after yet another Twitter misstep (you'd think these guys would figure it out by now) made either of two things very clear: 1. Dwight Howard, despite being a nice guy, is clearly indecisive and insincere, two things you'd hope not to see in a franchise guy or anyone that had matured at all since leaving high school for the NBA. 2. Dwight Howard is a lying, attention-starved douchebag.

There's really no other way to look at it. Even if Howard truly is torn and loves Orlando as a city and team, they'd both be better off if he let them down easy and told them it wasn't going to work. Seriously. Dwight Howard is close to a decade into his NBA career and surely must know by this point if he's motivated by money or glory. Either way his decision's easy: The Magic can give him far more money than any other team, but aren't close to winning a title this season, or next season, and have someone who gave Rashard Lewis $400 quadrillion to shoot threes and ignore defense steering the helm of their franchise.

For the past eight months, Magic fans everywhere have been sleeping on beds of nails, while Howard's been happily Twittering around and listlessly dominating the paint, caught up in this fantasy while he captures headlines and sparks debate; the entire league caught up in his indecisiveness.

This is not what basketball's about.

It's about guys like Derrick Rose and Kevin Durant; guys who catch headlines with their play instead of their childish behavior. When it came time for them to make their future-binding decisions, they didn't flop their intentions around, hold nationally-televised events or ask their fans where to go, they just put pen to paper with the teams that drafted them and continued playing, sorry dominating, as if it had never happened. They're team guys; guys you'd want to bring home to Mom if you were a scout and "Mom" was an NBA GM. They're humble, work their asses off, and are never going to do what Dwight Howard is doing to basketball, hell pro sports, right now. What's sad and telling is that remarkably few players have been able to take heed from Rose and Durant, and that the masses continue to fuel their antics; giving the Dwights of the World satisfaction every time we click a trade rumor link.

I'd love, just for once to see a headline like "Rose keeps word, signs extension" or "Durant re-signs without first demanding trade". Because the guy who's just trying to go out there and win basketball games is becoming a rare breed.

Rollin' a .5 - The Halftime Awards

As we creep up to the earliest All-Star game ever, the race for the NBA's annual awards is heating up and sure to be trendy conversation among hoop-heads over the next two months. Here's an early look at who should be getting some recognition; Banter's Halftime Awards

MVP - Lebron James, Miami Heat

It's kind of sick when you think about it really. The guy who'd been the NBA's #1 or #1a in everyone's eyes for several years came out and got noticeably better. Obviously shook by coming closer than he ever has to a title, only to spend a prolonged offseason hearing how he cost his team the chance to grasp it, Bron's been putting up ridiculous numbers while (understandably) playing the fewest minutes of his career. He's scoring at an insanely efficient rate and has Miami right where they should be despite injuries to Wade, roster shuffles, and the thrills of a 3 on 5 offense. It'll take a lot for someone to snare this from him.

Regards to: Derrick Rose, Chris Paul, Kevin Durant

Rookie of the Half - Kyrie Irving, Cleveland Cavaliers

This award was seemingly Irving's to lose from the get-go, and despite a rookie class that's outperformed its diminutive expectations, Irving's been its top performer and an instant dose of hope to a city whose basketball fans had no reason to have any. Ricky Rubio's been putting on a very impressive show with his flashy passing and incredible defense (seriously, he's on pace to become the first rookie to lead the L in steals. Ever.), but it almost seems as though his familiarity with the European game has lulled him into a false sense of security, thinking he can get away with a lot of fancy bullshit on offense that just doesn't fly in the NBA, and has cost his team multiple games down the stretch. Still should be a tight race, but give Irving the edge.

Regards to: Ricky Rubio, Kemba Walker, Iman Shumpert

Coach of the Half - Doug Collins, Philadelphia 76ers

Normally this award's a clusterfuck of subjectivity and misled voters who look at a team's improvement and automatically assume the coach had everything to do with it. Well, in this case, he did. Philly has (with one exception) the exact same roster as last season, and are on pace to improve from the 7th to 3rd seed in a suddenly tougher East. None of their players have had breakout seasons, just another year of tutelage from an underrated coach with a proven track record of successfully developing young talent. This one should be a no-brainer.

Regards to: Rick Adelman, Gregg Popovich, Frank Vogel

Defensive Player of the Half - Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

Tough call here, especially when you consider that the Magic aren't playing up to potential and Howard's listlessly cruising through the first half of this season while his this whole "trade" thing plays out. But even on cruise control, Howard's a game-changing force on D night-in and night-out (which, this year is tougher than any season), anchoring what, around him, are mostly average-at best defenders who've gotten comfortable having such a huge beast protecting the rim. This trophy's supposed to go the league's best defensive player, so that's who's getting it.

Regards to: Andre Iguodala, Tyson Chandler, Josh Smith

Sixth Man of the Half - James Harden, Oklahoma City Thunder

You could've safely made a bet on this one before the season started, and although Lou Williams is giving Harden some heat, he's even better than last year's playoff run and the most consistent, multi-faceted bench player in the NBA right now. His emergence as a legit 3rd scoring option has been critical for an OKC bench that would otherwise rely on their stars for half their points every night. His team's on top of the West and Harden's looking as though his ceiling hasn't been hit yet.

Regards to: Lou Williams, Mo Williams, Al Harrington

Most Improved Player: Jeremy Lin, New York Knicks

This pick might be....Controversial. I figure not everyone's on board as the only person I've really discussed this with this week (someone whose opinion I value) thinks I'm dead wrong. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm a victim of the hype; this guy was a nobody two weeks ago. But the way I see it, in the context of this award, Jeremy Lin has just had the most impressive two weeks in NBA HISTORY. Surely that's enough to make him the favorite in a season we haven't even played two months of yet.

Regards to: Kyle Lowry, Ryan Anderson, Nikola Pekovic

After The Goldrush: Looking Back and Forward on the New NBA Season

Well, it wasn't so much of a goldrush, maybe more like a pyrite rush after some of the ridiculousness we saw over the first few weeks of a belated, official NBA "offseason". It was a bizarre, hectic and in some cases league-altering couple of weeks, so now that most of dust's settled and we're just days away from what's sure to be the best Christmas ever, let's take a look back at the madness, and try to make some sense of it:

- Surely the story of the past weeks was the Chris Paul trade odyssey and David Stern's repeated attempts to get his Gaddafi on, blocking completely legitimate offers for his adopted team's prized PG not once, but twice. Finally enough league and public outcry forced him to realize he was being an irrational asshole, and he let the re-submitted deal pass. The result: the Empty Clips now look like legit homecourt threats in the West, and we've been blessed with the divine privilege of watching CP throw Blake Griffin oops all year. This trade made sense on too many levels: Paul wanted to play in LA. The Clippers had considerably the best package to offer. It would be the ultimate "Fuck You" to a Lakers team that's had the odds stacked in their favor for decades and just got denied their own shot at Paul. We now get to indulge in what could become the best highlight reel tandem ever, finally spared of an increasingly delusional tyrant's iron fist.

- Not too far behind the trend-meter was Dwight Howard's "they love me, they love me not..." trade drama in Orlando, which is making Dwight look more like a child every day, and leading me to think he'd be best off just staying with the Magic and being so close to Disney World. Dude, just be straight with Otis Smith; the poor guy already has a very difficult time with his job, and you changing your mind about your trade desires every time a Twitter follower talks you into it isn't gonna make this go any smoother.

- In missing out on CP3, the Lakers continued the implosion that seemed to have reached its peak with the their 2nd-round sweep last spring. Lamar Odom, upset that his team felt was good enough to trade for the BEST POINT GUARD ALIVE, felt betrayed and demanded a trade. So where do they send him? Obviously to the team that knocked them out last year. And what'd they get in return? Oh ya, absolutely nothing! Great move! Now the Odom giveaway has angered Kobe Bryant (who's also getting divorced and has a legion of NBA heads telling him he's not that great anymore), Metta World Peace (...really?) is dawning upon the most useless season of his career, the words "condensed schedule" might as well mean "injured reserve" for Andrew Bynum, and your nefarious, two-headed point guard demon of Derek Fisher and Steve Blake? Probably the worst in the NBA. That Jerry Buss decided to replace the modern era's greatest coach with a McDonald's mascot didn't help matters much. When the Lakers lose in the first round this year, count me unsurprised.

- I know big men are scarce in the NBA today, but was it REALLY necessary to give Nene, a guy with a heavy injury/illness record who's never been a top-2 player on his team or averaged 8 rebs/game, 14/mil a year?? Didn't we just have a lockout because of shit like this?

- Speaking of stupid contracts, Joe Dumars sealed his nosedive in complete senility last week when he spent $40million locking up his team's 3rd and 4th small forwards; Tayshaun Prince (who hasn't wanted to play in Detroit for like 5 years) and Jones Jerebko (who played pretty well for 6 months and then sat out all last year). For the record Joe, you'll be committing roughly 25% of your team's cap space next year to three reserve small forwards while your starter makes less money than all of them. It looks like Joe's trying to get himself fired, but I find it far more likely a bunch of angry Pistons fans will just put him in ICU instead.

- The Big Apple just got bigger: The Knicks have picked up Khalid El-Amin.....er, sorry Baron Davis, to shore up their pathetic backcourt. whether Baron has anything left in the tank remains to be seen, but if he can lose the In N Out addiction and his un-entitled air of accomplishment, his coupling with Tyson Chandler could take the Knicks' renaissance to yet new heights. At the very least, all the running he'll be doing in Mike D'Antoni's system should be good cardio.

- KAAAHHHHHHHHNNNN. Why did you sign JJ Barea when you already had four guards? Moreover, why did you sign JJ Barea for $20mil when you already had four guards? We knew somebody was going to overpay Barea after last year's inevitable "I'm going to play the best basketball of my career for these six weeks, sign a fat deal, then never do anything relevant again" run, but that it ended up being David Kahn couldn't have been more appropriate.

- David West also spurned Boston, in what Ray Allen called an "ego-driven" move, to sign with Indiana(right, like anyone with a fucking ego goes and plays for the Pacers). They now sport a slightly-frightening frontcourt corps (aided greatly by Mike Dunleavy no longer being a part of it), some promising young talent, and have the advantage of a solid headstart on the rebuilding effort that's sure to face many teams...Which leads us to....

THE LEAGUE IN FLUX
The ultimate effect of the lockout and its subsequent few weeks of open-market madness is that the NBA is in a state of serious transition that is sure to engulf an overwhelming majority of the league's teams. Right now, only three squads (Miami, Chicago, OKC) can safely call themselves contending teams with absolutely no reason to blow things up. Everybody else is vulnerable; that includes the Lakers, Mavs, Celtics, Spurs, Magic, Hawks, and even teams on the rise like the Knicks and Grizzlies. Plenty of other teams didn't get what they were looking for in the offseason, and still more over-rate their contention chances and feel they're "one piece away" from grabbing a Larry.O trophy that, like last year, could be anyone's. This might be most uncertain season we've ever embarked upon, and with 66 games coming in 120 days between under-prepared teams on unfamiliar schedules and regimens, with plenty of trades and free agency rumors circling like an annoying flock of shrieking vultures, things may only get crazier from here. If ever there an NBA season where "anything can happen", well this is it. Get ready to expect the unexpected.... Which is why I'm counting on the predictions I'm dropping here to blow up in my face, but oh well, what can ya do:

MVP - Lebron James. I just think he'll hungrier. He just spent a whole summer listening to people say he cost his team an NBA title, which you can trust he took much more personally than everything else he heard the summer before. Look for a serious "fuck off" statement.

DPOY - Dwight Howard. Not even gonna bother explaining this.

ROY - Kyrie Irving. Being Rookie of the Year is usually all about opportunity and how you respond to it. Irving will have plenty of opportunity now that Baron Davis is out of Cleveland and he'll have the point guard duties all to himself. There's sure to be a steep learning curve, but in a shallow class, there's no reason to bet against him.

MIP - Serge Ibaka. A lot of people like to overlook this, but Ibaka first picked up a basketball at age 18. That was three years ago. He's now one of the premiere defensive bigs in the NBA, has improved in bounds each season, and now as a full-time starter is primed to make "the leap".

6th Man - James Harden. This is a stretch, because a big part of me is convinced he'll punk Thabo Sefolosha's starting spot by the All-Star break (is there even one this year?). But most of me hopes he remains on the bench, where he's a dangerous 2nd scoring punch, who can also see minutes at the point and aptly playmake, because I think it makes the Thunder a better team, and so I look smarter.

COY - Fuck, I dunno, is Hubie Brown still coaching?

EAST PLAYOFF TEAMS - 1.Miami 2.Chicago 3.Boston 4.Indiana 5.New York 6.Atlanta 7. Philadelphia 8. Orlando

WEST PLAYOFF TEAMS - 1.OKC 2.Dallas 3.Memphis 4.LA Clippers 5.LA Lakers 6.San Antonio 7.Denver 8.Portland

EAST FINALS: Heat over Bulls
WEST FINALS: Thunder over Grizz
NBA CHAMPS: Miami Heat (let's all pray this doesn't actually happen. Last June was way too much fun)

Before I wrap this up, just wanted to offer some proper dues to a few we lost this week: Brandon Roy, who was tragically cut down in the prime of an All-Star career, Peja Stojakovic, who also retired after terrorizing perimeters all decade, and Jeff Green, the latest in a disturbing line of heart ailment suffered by NBA players, will be sidelined all season. All the best to Roy and Peja in their future endeavors, and our thoughts and wishes should be with Jeff Green and his family, that he might overcome this illness and return to the Celtics soon.

Well, sure enough, it's almost here. The regular season's tipping off in 5 days and has me sleeplessly awaiting Sunday like a giddy 5-year-old. Merry Christmas indeed everyone, enjoy the season.

The 2011 NBA Awards (or at least how they should be)

I wish I could plan an awards show for the NBA. It would kick so much ass.

I'd start by scrapping the voting process, assigning 25% of the vote value to the players, another 25% to the coaches (applying the "other team" rule), and the remaining 50% to media members, pending the results of clinical bias and GED exams (we need to weed out whoever gave Mike Bibby, Sam Cassell and PJ Brown MVP votes). Those who passed would be required to sit at the front of the crowd during a televised ceremony, and hold up their vote as the award is announced, Slam Dunk Contest-style. Everyone's accountable.

Next, rent out some sick Las Vegas venue, the MGM or something, because this is a celebration, and if you're gonna do it big, that's where you go; a bigger party makes for a more entertaining show. The invitation list would be far from exclusive; obviously all the players and staff, owners and friends, relevant celebrities, former players and superfans (I see you Nav Bhatia! ), but let anybody with the dollar who enjoys the game come be a part of it. Make this the biggest fucking party in the World; get Patron and Grey Goose to sponsor, have bars (with waterfalls) everywhere, hire a few roadies under the table to hand out illicit substances in the bathroom, dancing ladies, fireworks, the whole nine. David Stern would fire me immediately.

Obviously, EJ, Kenny and Chuck would host, with Craig Sager roaming the crowd to harass the attendees, contractually obligated to change suits every commercial break.

The show gets set off with a performance from Deadmau5, with Lupe and Kid Cudi on the mic to set a hype mood. TNT's Big 3 are introduced for a brief comedy intro (you know, where the hosts make fun of people in crowd and they pretend to find it funny 'cause they're on TV while throwing a mental hissy-fit) before getting down to business....

The evening's first two awards are given out Miss USA-style to acknowledge the All-Rookie and All-Defense teams, with the players being called onstage for recognition before the nominees get read:

All Rookie - Second Team: G-Greivis Vasquez, Grizzlies; G-Jordan Crawford, Wizards; F- Patrick Patterson, Rockets; F-Paul George, Pacers, C-Greg Monroe, Pistons

First Team: G-John Wall, Wizards; G-Landry Fields, Knicks; F-Blake Griffin, Clippers; F-Ed Davis, Raptors; C-DeMarcus Cousins, Kings

Evelope please, onto the first award...

Rookie of the Year, presented by Tim Duncan and Darko Milicic

Nominees: John Wall, Washington Wizards; DeMarcus Cousins, Sacrameto Kings; Landry Fields, New York Knicks; Greg Monroe, Detroit Pistons

Winner: Blake Griffin, LA Clippers

The crowd gives him a hearty, yet subdued ovation; one that's slightly muffled by this award having been decided in December, unlike those that so many of his electric dunks evoked. He calmly struts to the stage and accepts the award with Ray Allen-like class, thanks his teammates, family, fans, God of course (he makes no mention of his coach or owner...), formally apologizes to Gallinari and Mozgov, and tells us he's "just getting started" before popping out the mouthguard and sliding off stage.

As a tribute, Griffin's highlight reel from this season runs, beginning with a few nice finesse plays, building up with some nice transition dunks, and gradually ascending towards his truly humiliating facials (showing live reactions from his victims out in the crowd on a picture-in-picture). The hour of footage might be the most entertaining of the broadcast; it's shame it had to come so early. Oh well, on with the show...

Before DPOY, the All-Defense teams get their due:

Second Team: G- Chris Paul, Hornets; G-Andre Iguodala, Sixers; F-Luol Deng, Bulls; F-Tim Duncan, Spurs; C-Tyson Chandler, Mavs

First Team: G-Dwyane Wade, Heat; G-Rajon Rondo, Celtics; F-Kevin Garnett, Celtics; F-Josh Smith, Hawks; C-Dwight Howard, Magic

Defensive Player of the Year, presented by Bill Russell

Nominees: Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics; Tyson Chandler, Dallas Mavericks; Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks; Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat

Winner: Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

Another landslide winner, Howard's all smiles as he hits the stage, especially giddy to be handed the trophy by the greatest defender who ever lived. He leans in to shake Russell's hand, but is met with an icy grip, and the smile quickly fades from his face as Russ shoots him a scornful glare. They awkwardly man-hug for appearances' sake, when Russ, out-of-touch with technology and unaware that his mic hears every word, whispers "Stop being so f***ing friendly to the other team. They're your enemies. And you know they get the ball back every time you needlessly swat it into the stands right?" Howard seems stunned as they part ways, Russell glaring in disdain over his shoulder as he exits stage right. Dwight, appearing shameful and sheepish for the first time in his life, says nothing and shyly saunters offstage. It's sad, but somewhat appropriate, as Howard quite literally had nobody to thank; he was the Orlando Magic's defense this season.

The mood gets lightened by some uplifting music courtesy Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg, dropping several blunts per song while they move the crowd. The atmosphere immediately improves, which is a nice interlude to the next award;

Most Improved Player, presented by the homeless dude the Cavs hired for their play-by-play

Nominees: Dorrell Wright, Golden State Warriors; LaMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trailblazers; Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls; Demar DeRozan, Toronto Raptors

Winner: Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves

In a category that had so many worthy contenders, it took something historic to set a guy on the lowly Timberwolves apart. The place goes bananas as K-Love, wearing jeans and a "Numb#rs" t-shirt, also accepts the "Best Unathletic White Guy" and "Unlikely Fantasy Monster" awards. Several posses of nominated players begin fights in the crowd, including Master P and Lil Romeo brawling with Michael Beasley and David Kahn (who actually holds his own, landing a few solid hooks). The beef's understandable; this was a heated category, by far the toughest decision this year, but regardless of how shitty his team was, Love's leap from bench utility guy to franchise player couldn't be ignored.

The next segment honors Javale McGee, the Washington Wizards center who made it to the Dunk Contest with his fearless, irrational, and hilarious forays to the hoop, and almost won the damn thing. The big screen displays his Greatest Hits (most of which are Misses), while R Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" plays gently. Everybody gets a great laugh, and Craig is of course there to embellish upon every minute of Javale's misery. (I'd be crooked not to admit that this video was entirely my buddy Potter's idea, but it had to be a part of any legitimate tribute to the NBA season)

The next musical interlude comes courtesy of Rihanna, followed by Drake; the two join forces in between for a brief medley of "Whats My Name", during which Drizzy finally breaks down tells her everyone on the planet knows her name and to please shut up.

Sixth Man of the Year, presented by Gary Sinise and Paul Giamatti

Nominees: Jason Terry, Dallas Mavericks; Jamal Crawford, Atlanta Hawks; Marcin Gortat, Orlando Magic/Phoenix Suns; George Hill, San Antonio Spurs

Winner: Lamar Odom, Los Angeles Lakers

In a year many contenders spent lots of time starting for injured teammates, Odom made the most of Andrew Bynum's annual breakdown and was a model of consistency and hard work on a Lakers' supporting cast that fluctuated all season. He's (naturally) accompanied to the stage by Ms. Kardashian (who manages to snag half the camera time), and tries to get a few thank-yous out, but has a hard time keeping a straight face amid a downpour of perfume-commercial-related verbal barbs from some buddies out in the crowd.

The mood then turns somber for a tribute to those we've lost since last season: John Wooden, Manute Bol, Lorenzen Wright, Mel Turpin, Shaquille O'Neal... a moving couple of minutes.

Coach of the Year, presented by Gene Hackman and Samuel L. Jackson

Nominees: Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs; Doug Collins, Philadelphia 76ers; George Karl, Denver Nuggets; Nate McMillan, Portland Trailblazers

Winner: Tom Thibodeau, Chicago Bulls

Thibodeau is curiously absent from the ceremony (rumored to be studying Lakers game tape), so Bulls GM John Paxson accepts the award on his behalf: "Landing Tom was a miracle for us; needless to say he worked out a little better than our last coach. He took a talented bunch of players and brought out the best in all of them, adjusted through injuries to key guys, and kept them focused on a goal that exceeded all our expectations. In his first year on the job." Couldn't have said it better.

Prior to the MVP, the All-NBA teams get some respect, being introduced in an All-Star starter-type spectacle with Kanye and Jeezy dropping "Amazing":

Third Team: G-Russell Westbrook, Thunder; G-Rajon Rondo, Celtics; F-Pau Gasol, Lakers; F-LaMarcus Aldridge, Blazers; C-Al Horford, Hawks

Second Team: G-Chris Paul, Hornets; G-Kobe Bryant, Lakers; F-Kevin Durant, Thunder; F-Kevin Garnett, Celtics; C-Amare Stoudemire, Knicks

First Team: G-Dwyane Wade, Heat; G-Derrick Rose, Bulls; F-Lebron James, Heat; F- Dirk Nowitzki, Mavs; C-Dwight Howard, Magic

The stage then clears for the moment everyone's been waiting for...

MVP, presented by Michael Jordan and Charlie Sheen

Nominees: Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic; LeWyane Jade, Miami Heat; Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks

Winner: Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

As Rose, the youngest MVP ever; clearly humbled by this honor, gets up to accept, a highly inebriated Stan Van Gundy rushes the stage and attempts to steal the trophy, screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs while security removes him. After the brief interruption, Rose says all the right things and leaves to the clicheed "MVP!" chant from the crowd; only this time its legitimacy resonates much deeper. "Why not me?" he asked back in November; seemed crazy at the time, but he backed up every bit of it; his entire team rode his swagger and poise all the way to the East's #1 seed, while he created most of their offense and played out of his mind when they needed him the most; whether during injuries to key guys or against their toughest opponents. The "rose is all in" adidas ads that have been running all night are no joke, he gave the Bulls an incredible season.

The evening concludes with David Stern making a surprise appearance onstage, thanking the fans for their ongoing support, and announcing that there won't be a lockout next season. Or at least that's how it should be.

Halftime Hardware: The Mid-Season Awards

The regular season grind's just about hit its mid-point; as teams cross the 40-game mark, the conversation's shifted from early season adjustments to All-Stars, deadline deals and the earliest glimpses of the playoff bracket (only 3 more months...). Seems like an appropriate time to revisit the race for the NBA's individual awards and hand out a little Halftime Hardware:

Rookie of the Half - Blake Griffin, LA Clippers
Getting the obvious out of the way, Griffin's taken the League by storm like few rookies ever have; dropping double-doubles almost as often as his devastating dunks that have fans itching for All-Star Saturday (sorry, Lamar). What's more, he's made people care about the Clippers; a dynamic talent that's already borderline dominant in the NBA after three months and putting LA's Other Team on the map. Looks like they found a keeper, hopefully they dont screw this one up.
Regards to: Landry Fields, John Wall, Demarcus Cousins

Most Improved Player - Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves
From the obvious to the opposite; the MIP race is not only very crowded but comprised of players from all walks of life. MVP-calibre point guards, wily veterans, young gunslingers, emerging journeymen; there's a dozen players who could make a very legitimate claim to this trophy. Love gets it because he came into this season facing an unclear role and inconsistent minutes, and immediately forced Kurt Rambis to keep him on the court with his versatile offensive array and utter dominance on the glass. People spoke of Moses Malone's 30/30 30 years ago, well that's also the last time somebody other than Dennis Rodman (also Malone) averaged more rebounds than Love is this season. Over one summer he seamlessly made the transition to legitimate star player; a much tougher leap than the typical breakout year that wins a player this award, especially on a team as dysfunctional as the Wolves. A lot of guys in this running simply adapted to increased roles; Love demanded one with his play and has done nothing but prove himself right.
Regards to: Raymond Felton, Dorrell Wright, Wesley Matthews

Coach of the Half - Erik Spoelstra, Miami Heat
Don't think there's much to discuss here. Miami came into the season with insurmountable expectations, started as horribly as anyone could've imagined; everyone was calling for Spoelstra's head. Spo made some defensive tweaks, began fast breaking and moving the ball more, commanded the respect of his players; suddenly Miami's the hottest team in the NBA. It's almost as open-and-shut as the ROY race, and almost as many innocent people are being shamelessly dunked on.
Regards to: Doc Rivers, Tom Thibodeau, Nate McMillan

Defensive Player of the Half - Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic
It seems almost redundant giving this trophy to Dwight again, and I tried long and hard to find someone who could legitimately swipe it way from him. But Howard's been way too much of a force; 2nd in rebounds, 3rd in blocks, becoming more and more the focus of dramatic overhauls to the opposition's offensive scheme. The numbers don't tell the whole story because Howard's long been the NBA's MAP (most avoided player); his mere presence lowers comfort levels, while also being the safety net for the likes of (formerly) Vince Carter, and (currently) Hedo Turkoglu. His importance can't be understanted because because of a few missing digits.
Regards to: Rajon Rondo, Tyson Chandler, Andrew Bogut

Sixth Man of the Half - George Hill, San Antonio Spurs
A fair share of the blame for the Spurs still being on top of the West (with Timmy D playing such a small role) can be pinned on Hill's emergence as a versatile cog off the bench; a combo guard who can score and distribute, always playing aggressive defense and carrying the business-like edge of a veteran Spur, and not a ringless newcomer. The Spurs hardly lose a step with him in the backcourt alongside Parker or (more rarely) Ginobili; another diamond dug out of the deep rough by RC Buford.
Regards to: Jamal Crawford (barely eligible), Serge Ibaka, JR Smith

MVP - Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls
In what's shaping up to be the most compelling MVP race in recent memory, Rose has backed up his early season boasting with outstanding play that's kept Chicago near the top of the East despite injuries to both their other stars. Rose has been attacking the hoop with the same devastating quickness and athleticism that's scared defenders since he came onto the scene, although the sudden range he's developed has forced respect of his jumper and given him all the more room to operate, to the tune of almost 9 assists a game to run with 24 points. His biggest game have come against top competition and his attack has seamlessly shifted between assaulting weak perimeters and exploiting mismatches in the post, as needed. What more could you ask of the guy?
Regards to: Amar'e Stoudemire, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwight Howard

All-NBA

First Team - G- Derrick Rose/Kobe Bryant F- Dirk Nowitzki/Amar'e Stoudemire C-Dwight Howard

Second Team - G- Rajon Rondo/Russell Westbrook F- Lebron James/Kevin Durant C-Pau Gasol (because he's played half the season there and no true center deserves this)

Third Team - G- Deron Williams/Chris Paul F- Carmelo Anthony/Kevin Love C- Lamarcus Aldridge (see above comment)

While the League's individual Awards do a good job of singling out the most significant accomplishments among the season's many, their scope's pretty narrow, leaving plenty of deserving players without recognition. To celebrate their efforts, check back later this week for the Halftime version of the Basketball Banter Awards; celebrating the best (and worst) of the rest of the NBA...

To Sad Endings & New Beginnings...

When news broke earlier this week of a stress fracture in Yao Ming's foot ending his season for the zillionth time, reactions throughout the basketball community were, well, subdued. Although this was obviously a tragic setback for a star who put retirement ahead of more rehab, there was an utter lack of surprise; to some extent, we all knew this was coming. Like Greg Oden before him, we'd all seen Yao succumb to his own body too many times to expect he'd get it together.

Yao was different though, in that he had already established himself as a star in this League, and probably would've been fine if the commies running China's national team had bothered to let him rest for a few weeks during the prime of his career. Yao played in 82, 82 and 80 his first three seasons, and was becoming a dominant talent. But the second Houston's seasons ended, he was shipped back to the homeland for a busy international schedule that often had him arriving late for training camp and certainly betrayed the concept of an "offseason". As the constant pounding took its toll (remember, 350 pounds is a lot to carry around), Yao averaged an anemic 58 games over the next four seasons, before shutting it down all of last year, and now facing a similar fate.

It seems far safer to call Yao's career over, relative to Oden's. He's older, has nothing really to prove, owns his own pro team in China, and has already hinted at this being the end. It's also far more difficult; he was a much better player and a noble, gregarious global ambassador for a league that's clearly looking to grow its international influence. If this is the last we see of him - and all signs point to it being that way - what a shitty (albeit predictable) way for it all to end. Keep your head up Yao, hope that "fried chicken and beer" tastes damn good.

Only a few days of mourning passed before Yao's dilemma was sidetracked by the season's first blockbuster(s), which dramatically overhauled the floundering Orlando Magic. Their first deal shipped Vincent Lamar to Phoenix, along with Mickael Pietrus and Marcin Gortat, in exchange for Jason Richardson, Earl Clark and the ghost of Hedo Turkoglu. As though that weren't enough of a dice roll, the Magic then shipped Rashard Lewis to Washington for Gilbert Arenas, setting a new Guinness record for "shitty NBA contracts traded in a single day".

Phoenix, caught in that awkward no-mans-land between contending and rebuilding, now at least has a more functional team. While they shed two of their 90 small forwards, they gained a legitimate centre and probably the only defensive-minded player on their roster. Gortat will allow Channing Frye and Robin Lopez to spend more time at the 4 (where both of them should be more effective), helping to shore up the league's worst-rebounding team. The jury's still out on whether Vince can provide any positive effect, but I can already envision Steve Nash becoming frustrated with him and freezing him out of the offense. In about two weeks. Ultimately, these Suns, (read:Nash) have made offensive contributors out of anyone they've plugged in, so the versatility they gained should outweigh the firepower they lost.

Washington, meanwhile, made a dubious decision. Trading Gilbert was an obvious move; after last season's handgun mishap and John Wall's drafting, he made (Agent) Zero sense for them. What made even less sense (I know it's mathematically impossible, but work with me here) was for them to take on what's very likely, dollar-for-dollar, the worst contract in the NBA in return. Lewis' monster of a deal comes off the books a year later than Gilbert's, forcing a rebuilding team that's losing money even more than easy games into deeper financial commitment. Although Wall will have a much more freedom now, the team as a whole might've just enslaved themselves.

...Which brings us to Orlando; the centrepiece of these blockbusters and the team with, far and away, the most to lose. After losing 5 of 6 and watching Boston and Miami reel off double-digit win streaks, I've heard this makeover get called everything from a panic move to a calculated gamble. The Magic gained a lot of offensive potency, picking up two bonafide scorers and returning Hedo to a city that clearly has some sort of PED-type effect on his game. Vince and Rashard were both having their worst seasons in recent memory, so getting rid of them wasn't hard, but fitting the new pieces together may be harder than it looks... (disclaimer: I'm of the firm belief that the Magic aren't done dealing yet, but let's proceed under the necessary assumption that they're going to try and win a title with this team)

First of all, this was a very expensive move for the Magic. They shed Lewis and Carter's bloated contracts, but also took on those of Arenas, Turkoglu and (to a lesser extent) Richardson, while burying JJ Redick (35$ mil this past offseason) on the bench. Obviously they're a successful team in a competitive market, but they just raised their risk profile considerably.

Defense also becomes a serious achilles heel for this team. Forget that they have Howard in the middle, the Magic have now lost their only potent wing defenders (Pietrus, and previously Matt Barnes), and given up Gortat; an excellent defender himself, and one of the NBA's best backup big men. Not that Carter or Lewis was a great defender, but all this does is increase the reliance on Howard, with more holes to patch, which will likely lead to more help-D fouls and less time on the court for their franchise player.

Orlando now possesses the weapons to be an offensive nightmare, but leaves serious doubts about its ability to succeed in the physical, halfcourt grind of the playoffs. They made it to the Finals two years ago with Dwight drawing coverage and open 3's raining from all angles, but the competition is far tougher this year. Dwight will have a much harder time dominating Boston's deep frontcourt than he did the Cavs' joke of one, and Miami's Superfriends will be much harder to match up with in an up-tempo shootout.

Orlando looks to be on Phoenix's flipside after this trade; they're certainly more talented, but perhaps less functional. In any event, it looked like a move needed to be made, and the front office certainly can't be blamed for a lack of balls. Regardless of whether this team's done shuffling, it'll be a serious adjustment for Stan Van Jeremy, D12, Jameer, hell the rest of the East's contenders. The Magic seriously shook things up here; it's gonna take a while for it to settle and see just what the payoff is. That being said, there's been an epidemic of complacency around the NBA lately when moves clearly need to be made, so Orlando should be applauded for pulling the trigger and at least rolling the dice before the season slid further.