Banter's 2017 All-Star Reserves

The NBA All-Star reserves were announced last night, rounding out the rosters that will be lacing up their exclusive-makeup kicks in Charlotte New Orleans next month.

It's sure to be an unreal offensive display, and while puritans whine about the game's lack of defense and competitive nature, the All-Star Game is what it is; a showcase for all fans that's supposed to maximize highlights and minimize injuries. Those same talking heads would likely be crowing about the ASG's danger to players if someone were to Paul George themselves.

Regardless of your view on its pure basketball value, the All-Star Game is the single best collection of basketball players on the same court, anywhere, every year. For that reason alone, it should always be significant.

So who are those players this year anyway? Before we get to the reserves, a quick refresher on my starters:

EAST STARTERS
G - Kyle Lowry
G - Isaiah Thomas
F - Jimmy Butler
F - LeBron James
F - Giannis Antetokounmpo

WEST STARTERS
G - Russell Westbrook
G - James Harden
F - Kevin Durant
F - Kawhi Leonard
F - Marc Gasol

As I alluded to in my starters column, the conferences have been two vastly different landscapes in terms of top-tier talent this season. The voting tribunal selected the exact same 12 players I did in the East and it couldn't have been more obvious, while with so much talent in the West there were bound to be a slew of worthy snubs. Let's dive in:

EAST RESERVES

G - Kyrie Irving, Cleveland Cavaliers 

All-Star Because: He's having by far the best scoring season of his career for a first-place team
Not Starting Because: Defense remains an issue, Playoff Kyrie > Regular Season Kyrie

G - John Wall, Washington Wizards
All-Star Because: Absolutely crushing statisically for a team that's suddenly an overperformer
Not Starting Because: Washington sucked for the first quarter of the season

F - Kevin Love, Cleveland Cavaliers
All-Star Because: Has cracked the 20-point & double-double avg plateaus; both firsts as a Cavalier
Not Starting Because: LeBron

F - Paul Millsap, Atlanta Hawks
All Star Because: His all-around excellence has kept Atlanta competitive amid a minor identity crisis
Not Starting Because: He started the season in a major slump, and Giannis isn't human

F - Paul George, Indiana Pacers
All-Star Because: Even on cruise control, he's still likely a top-15 player league-wide
Not Starting Because: Of the time he's spent on cruise control & Indiana's somewhat lackluster start

WC - Demar DeRozan, Toronto Raptors
All-Star Because: Has taken the mid-range game to new heights this year for Toronto's elite offense
Not Starting Because: He's not even the best guard in his own backcourt

WC - Kemba Walker, Charlotte Hornets 
All-Star Because: Having a remarkably efficient career-year for a team that needs his scoring
Not Starting Because: Lowry and Thomas are having more apex-efficiency seasons for better teams

EAST SNUBS
Kristaps Porzingis - The Knicks have underwhelmed, and Melo/Rose prevent a full unleashing
Joel Embiid - Undeniable impact aside, he's spent too much time on the pine for a 17-27 team
Dwight Howard - The Hawks aren't quite good enough to justify a 2nd All-Star
Bradley Beal - Neither are the Wizards
Andre Drummond - Detroit has been one of the NBA's biggest disappointments

WEST RESERVES

G - Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers


All Star Because: He's the same sublime 2-way monster he's been his whole career
Not Starting Because: Harden and Westbrook are having two of the best seasons in modern history

G - Stephen Curry, Golden State Warriors
All-Star Because: If you're a reigning unanimous MVP, your All-Star spot is a mere formality
Not Starting Because: Kevin Durant's clearly established himself as the Warriors' alpha dog

F - Anthony Davis, New Orleans Pelicans
All-Star Because: He's having an absurd statistical season, even by his own lofty standards
Not Starting Because: The Pelicans continue to surround him with crap

F - DeMarcus Cousins, Sacramento Kings 
All-Star Because: He's too good for his team to consider trading someone so volatile
Not Starting Because: He plays for a team with perhaps the sketchiest braintrust in professional sports

F - Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors
All-Star Because: He's a historically versatile force and DPOY frontrunner for NBA's best team
Not Starting Because: The West is unfairly stocked with talent right now

WC - Damian Lillard, Portland Trailblazers
All Star Because: He's one of most feared scorers in the league
Not Starting Because: He's one of the most inviting defenders in the league

WC - Rudy Gobert, Utah Jazz
All-Star Because: Utah succeeds by their D, and Gobert is quite arguably the NBA's best defender
Not Starting Because: Still not a massive offensive presence,

WEST SNUBS
Klay Thompson - The Warriors' fourth-best player, and thus, odd man out
Gordon Hayward - Very possibly not the Jazz's most important player
Mike Conley - Broke his back (though somehow only missed three weeks)
CJ McCollum - Just wayy too many elite guards in the West
LaMarcus Aldridge - Having his least impactful statisical season in a decade
Blake Griffin - got himself injured for the like 80th straight season
DeAndre Jordan - Still a give/take player, while Clippers have cooled off
Karl-Anthony Towns - Give Minnesota a couple years
Eric Bledsoe - Give him a better team

Banter's 2014 All-Star Ballot

Every NBA season, I leave my All-Star voting as late as possible, not because I'm a huge procrastinator (guilty), but to make the most developed and informed selections. As flawed as this democratic process may be, I'll be damned if my vote's going to waste.

So with voting closing in a couple days, who deserves to go to the show? Which players have been the most dominant and influential on this season so far? In the case of most of the Eastern Conference, who has simply sucked the least? Let's start with something my vote actually counts for; the Starters:

Leastern Conference

G. John Wall, Washington Wizards
The East's guard scene is dangerously anemic this year; not only are perennial All-Stars Rajon Rondo and Derrick Rose goners, but Dwyane Wade's sat a quarter of this season, and it's showing both in the Heat's record, and LeBron James showing signs of fatigue for the first time in his life. Deron Williams' injuries have been the key contributor to Brooklyn's train-wreck season, and even heir apparent Kyrie Irving's stuck in reverse with Cleveland being all kinds of awful under Mike Brown.

So ring up a vote for Wall, by default the best guard in the East so far this season. He's averaging career highs in points, assists and steals, and while his overall shooting % is down slightly due to his sudden love of 3-pointers (3.8/game up from 0.9), he's at least managed to crack 32% from beyond the arc. While Wall might be one of the NBA's more egregious jump-shooters, he's a lightning-quick athletic beast who scores well near the hoop and becoming one of the NBA's better playmakers. This year, that makes him the most suitable candidate to suit up among East guards.

G. Kyrie Irving, Cleveland Cavaliers
I tried to give this spot to both Demar DeRozan and Lance Stephenson; the Cavs have been mostly putrid (only compounded by their League Pass announcers) and Kyrie continues to be one of the worst starting PGs in the NBA on the defensive end. Still, he's rebounded from a slow start under the constraints of Mike Brown, while no other guards in the East have truly stepped up to take what was his spot to lose.

Giving this spot to someone else would be as much punishing Irving for his franchise's ridiculous decisions this offseason (hiring Brown again, drafting Anthony Bennett, signing Andrew Bynum - although they could've done much worse than flipping him into a Luol Deng freeroll) as anything, and against this weak a field, it seems like too much.

F. Paul George, Indiana Pacers 
His numbers have tapered off slightly from a torrid start that had him in the thick of the MVP discussion, but George has firmly delivered on the promise he signaled last spring as an elite swingman. Both Indiana's go-to scorer and top perimeter defender, he's the man on the East's best team, making his presence here a given.

F. Carmelo Anthony, New York Knicks
It's no secret the Knicks have been God-awful this year, but if there's one person who can't really take any of the blame, it's Melo. Stat-wise, his season has been more or less on par with last year (a couple fewer points, a couple more rebounds, and basically identical %s), when he was garnering MVP buzz. Meanwhile, the team around him has basically imploded; from Tyson Chandler's leg injuries, to JR Smith's head injury, to the roster injury the Knicks suffered by acquiring Andrea Bargnani. It's mostly gone to shit, but few things haven't in the East this season .


F. LeBron James, Miami Heat
He's better at the game of basketball than anyone on Earth right now. Let's save some time and move along...

Bestern Conference

G. Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers
Even if CP3 won't be able to lace up for this year's game, it would be a theft not to acknowledge yet another brilliant season. Before his shoulder injury, Paul was his typical self; the most complete point guard on both sides of the ball, and the only NBA player averaging double-digit assists on the year.

G. Steph Curry, Golden State Warriors
One of the toughest decisions this year (other than picking at the leftovers of the East Guard Buffet Platter) was Steph Curry vs James Harden for the 2nd guard spot. Both the lead triggermen in high-octane offenses. Both are capable of suspect defense. Their teams have nearly identical records. And both are doing impressive numbers that leave little room to differ; in fact their PER is within .14 of each other.

The edge goes to Curry for his superiority as a scorer/playmaker, accounting for a higher clip from scoring+assists while turning the ball over at a lower rate. Curry also rebounds nearly as much as Harden from the PG spot, so yeah, I'm starting four point guards in the All-Star Game. Deal with it.

F. Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder There's one guy in each Conference who doesn't need an explanation. This is the West's.

F. Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves
The Wolves have been kind of a bummer this year, but kinda like Kyrie in Cleveland, it's hard to fault Love much. Beyond Kyrie, Love is having a monster 25/13/4 season as the 3rd-most efficient player in the NBA behind LeBron and Durant. And this is the All-Star Game.

F. LeMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trailblazers 
Having a career year for the West's surprise contender, Aldridge has emerged as perhaps the A's best midrange scorer, anchoring a Blazers offense that's, well, (sorry) blazing. Always one of the League's quieter stars, he's announced himself on the highest level very loudly.

(Write In: Miles Plumlee, Phoenix Suns)

As for the reserves, I don't happen to be coaching an NBA team at the moment, so my vote doesn't really mean much, but if I had a ballot, here's what it would look like:

Leastern Conference

G. Demar DeRozan, Toronto Raptors
Well, this happened. I'm not entirely sure how, but I'm voting a Toronto Raptor into the All-Star Game. DeRozan's been a consistent spark for the Raptors, not only becoming a legitimate first scorer in Rudy Gay's absence, but dialing up his defensive focus as T-Dot has begun taking the Atlantic by storm. Double D's been the go-to guy on - gulp - the East's third-best team so far, good enough for a Least nod.

G. Lance Stephenson, Indiana Pacers
Sudden triple-double machine Sir-Lance-Alot is racking up impressive numbers, confined within one of the NBA's slowest-paced teams, playing with the kind of swagger reminiscent of another Coney Island veteran. Lance has made 'em dance all season, and his emergence is one of several reasons why the Pacers are safely atop the East for now.

F. Chris Bosh, Miami Heat
Bosh, if nothing else, is staying balanced as an NBA entity. As he continues his seemingly eternal evolution as an awkward internet meme, and is on the butt end of endless jokes, his play leaves less and less room for criticism. His embracing of (and improvement in) the center position has allowed Miami to do what they do, so don't let the falling numbers fool you into thinking he can be excluded.

F. Paul Millsap, Atlanta Hawks
Millsap's developed a reputation as one of the NBA's most sneakily-skilled power forwards; an ace second-fiddle behind guys named "Al" in post tandems. Horford's pectoral injury has not only put P-Milly on an island as the lone interior scorer for the Hawks, but left a vacant spot on this roster for him to assume.

Like many names you're seeing here, the "All-Star" prefix may seem excessive, but understand what we're working with here.

F. Roy Hibbert, Indiana Pacers
It's fairly evident what Hibbert is at this point: a 12/8 guy who plays at a slightly higher level in the Playoffs, especially (and understandably) vs Miami. More valuable to Indiana, Hibbert is the new Dwight Howard; that interior force who disrupts everything around the hoop and forces many teams to alter their attack plan. It's because of him that "Verticality" is the second-trendiest NBA term behind "Corner Three" right now, and Indy's ruled the East enough to deserve an All-Star triad.

W.C. Luol Deng, Chicago Bulls Cleveland Cavaliers
I can't punish Luol for Derrick Rose's injury and recently being traded to a team that by no other measure deserves a second All-Star. Not in such a weak Conference. Deng's ability to deliver top-level play on both sides of the ball, with unwavering consistency, makes him one of the League's most undervalued players. It's a shame the Bulls didn't get more for him.

W.C. Andre Drummond, Detroit Pistons
Some may see this as mildly premature, but again, this is this season's Eastern Conference, and the pickin's for healthy and worthy All-Stars have maybe never been slimmer. Meanwhile, Drummond's been beasting for Detroit, emerging as one of the A's best young big men in his first season as a starter. You just have to ignore certain things in the East, like Drummond's 38% foul shooting, or how only 27% of the Conference is over .500.

Snub Squad (if such a thing exists for the East): Kemba Walker, Jeff Teague, Greg Monroe, Kyle Lowry, Joakim Noah, Dwyane Wade, Michael Carter-Williams

Bestern Conference

G. James Harden, Houston Rockets
As explained above, almost had Harden starting, but ultimately Steph Curry's just more dynamic on offense and more influential to what makes his team successful. Not to knock Harden; 25/5/5 on a good West team is a strong season, especially with individual scoring rates falling with the rise of metrics-based analysis.

G. Tony Parker, F. Tim Duncan, San Antonio SpursNow that all of us have finally gotten used to the idea that the Spurs aren't going to fall off until Parker and Tim Duncan's appendages do, it's only right that the best team in the West be properly repped for its methodical excellence. They've been doing what Miami's trying this year by pacing themselves 'til the Playoffs for several seasons now. It shows in that they're keeping their stars fresh, while sitting atop the far tougher Conference. With Pop coaching again, it's only appropriate.

F. Blake Griffin, Los Angeles ClippersAnyone who still thinks of Blake Griffin as a one-dimensional athletic finisher needs to wake up to the progress he's steadily made. This season in particular has seen marked improvements in his toughness, jump-shooting, decision making, passing, and attention on defense under Doc Rivers. He's not quite on the Love/Aldridge level, but he's not far beneath it.

F. Dwight Howard, Houston RocketsHoward's days as the undisputed ruler of the NBA Paint may be behind him, but this season he's denied those who hinted at his demise, by turning back the clock - slightly - with a rejuvenated game hardly seen with the Lakers. If Marc Gasol had been healthy, this spot would've been a fight, but D12's back in All-Star form.

W.C. Damian Lillard, Portland TrailblazersThe West bench wouldn't be complete without Dame Dash; a terror for the League's best offense, and saving his best play for the most crucial moments. He remains a defensive liability in most matchups, but Lillard propels the Blazers to the tune of 109ppg - most since the D'Antoni Suns - and Portland's 2nd in the West.

W.C. Anthony Davis, New Orleans Hornets
With the final spot on the West roster, I'm invoking the Kevin Love clause yet again, because Davis is exploding in his second season as a two-way franchise force, despite the Pelicans' reluctance to, er, take flight. Regardless if his team doesn't really deserve the recognition, this is a game that's supposed to honor the NBA's best players and at a certain point, you have to draw the line. And they're hosting All-Star Weekend, which apparently means something, so here he is.

Snub Squad: DeMarcus Cousins, Dirk Nowitzki, Goran Dragic/Eric Bledsoe, Serge Ibaka, Klay Thompson, Monta Ellis, Ty Lawson

Top 9s - Show and Prove

Welcome to Banter's newest feature: Top 9s.

The temptation to rank players, teams, events, dunks, plays or whatever else is almost inescapable for anyone with a brain and an opinion. I also happen to have an outlet, a boredom problem, and suffer from separation anxiety between early June and late October, so I figured having some rankings on here to pass time and spark discussion every now and then wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Why the Top 9? Well, it's just a 9.

Coming into every NBA season, there's players with something to prove: a spot in the NBA to secure, a starting job to battle for, a contract year to put on for. But some stakes are even higher; reputations, legacies: historical shit, not only for the players themselves, but sometimes they carry the weight of entire franchises and the expectations of countless fans on their shoulders. This adds another compelling layer to the NBA's dynamic story and lets us see who's truly made of fire underneath it all. So without further ado, the first edition of Top 9s: The Most to Prove This Season

9. Jeremy Lin

Seems like a logical place to start. Lin's flash in the pan last season caught the NBA's entire stove on fire and made a World-wide celebrity of a player who was out of work just weeks earlier. His controversial offseason departure from the team he'd briefly resurrected - something about a grown billionaire holding an insecure grudge like an 11 year-old girl - not only landed him on a new squad suddenly bereft of talent, but promised to make him a very rich man relative to his NBA accomplishments. We've seen plenty of guys go on tears for crappy teams and disappear before (the name Ronald Murray comes to mind) but Lin flipped the script involuntarily. When Houston inked him that back-loaded offer sheet, they promised to make him a poster boy for the League's spending issues, but when James Dolan felt spited and refused to match (which was just monumentally stupid. I know it's a lot of money, but this guy just made your team over twice the amount you're going to pay him over the next three years. In two months. Get over yourself.) Lin became a focal point of whatever the hell Houston's got going on this season. If he keeps up his level of play from last season, he'll easily be the best player on their team, put talks of his contract to rest, and ensure James Dolan get less of it. But it's that "if" part that has everyone wondering...

8. Zach Randolph

Last season was an absolute disaster for the Grizzlies. They came into 2012 with serious playoff ambitions for the first time in their franchise's history, and Randolph was being celebrated as the NBA's most lethal low-post threat. Well, Z-Bo tore his MCL and missed 37 games, throwing Memphis' season into a flux that set a dubious record along the way to putting the words "playoff disappointment" in a Grizzlies fan's vocabulary. After returning, Randolph wasn't his same self. Part of this was due to Memphis' inability to align him offensively with Rudy Gay, but also that Randolph tends to put on a rather convincing Yokozuna impersonation when sedentary. The months on the shelf made it harder to regain his form, being rushed back into the lineup in time for the playoffs. Reports from apparently reliable sources point to Randolph now being fully healed from the injury, and carrying around several less pounds than last year, which is sure to be easier on his legs. He'll have to be healthy and motivated to re-assert himself on the level he did in 2011, which the Grizzlies need wholly if they want to get back on the right end of playoff dream-crashing.

7. Deron Williams

Time was, a lot of people in the know considered Deron Williams the best point guard in the NBA. "Time" seems like an eternity ago, but this "was" around 2009 and since then, not only has the League's overall point guard talent blown up like the Gangnam Style video, but Williams has spent time on some very questionable teams, not to mention the wrong end of a feud that apparently ended Jerry Sloan's career (seriously, we're talking a 23-year tenure in a field where the average life expectancy of a position is worse than a hemophiliac wrapped in barbed wire in a shark tank - must've been some deep shit). Now that the Nets have found a new home with Deron locked into a long-term deal, they can start to build towards the lofty goals their celebrated owner has set for them, with Williams steering the ship. A lot of eyes will be on Brooklyn; they've been much-ballyhooed over everything from their flashy new arena, to their owner's ambitious 5-year title plan, to their attempt to resurrect a borough and revitalize The Mecca's basketball scene. And I also remember reading somewhere that Jay-Z's involved with the team apparently? Sounds cool. With the ante as high as it possibly could be for a team in a new city, a lot of it will rest of D-Will's shoulders after Dwight didn't happen and the team overpaid for the rest of its roster. If ever there was a time to boldly re-claim his status on the shaky PG totem pole, it's now.

6. Kobe Bryant

Regardless of how much he accomplishes in his storied career, Kobe's more or less a formality on this list. He's spent the past 15 years cultivating a niche as by far the most polarizing figure in the NBA (you hear that so much it becomes trite) by giving puritans, underdogs and most casual fans every reason to hate him, while spellbinding others with undeniable talent, bulletproof work ethic, and an indomitable love for the game. This season is the same story: coming off an inevitably-much-scrutinized 6th place showing in ESPN's #NBArank, Bryant will have to adjust his Bieber-like usage rate from last season and mesh his offensive tyranny with the Lakers' new arrivals if they hope to live up to the hype surrounding them. As his legacy would dictate, most of the skeptics' questions surround his role: "Will Kobe be OK with Nash controlling the tempo?", "How's he going to react when his shots get cut in half?", "Is the Staples Center locker room big enough for his and Dwight's ego?", "He's not the man anymore. He won't like it." But, as is perpetually the case with Kobe, no matter how he addresses these issues this season, you can count on there being more for him to face.

5. James Harden
In most cases, having a career year where you exceeded lofty expectations and won the 6th Man of the Year award would put you far away from having anything to prove. I use the word "you" because, unless you're James Harden, this hasn't happened to you. Setting the tone for this contradiction was Small Game James's complete dud of a Finals: put bluntly, he played by far his worst ball of the season when it mattered the most. As if that weren't enough, he spent the offseason watching free agents get thrown money like GMs were drunken, insecure recent Bellagio jackpot winners at the Spearmint Rhino, and demanded his own max money, driving a very awkward curveball into the Thunder's long-lingering long-term financial dilemma. Playing in a small market, with two max deals already on their roster (at least they extended Ibaka before he played himself into that conversation) Harden's threatened a divide in Sam Presti's plan to keep this young core together. He's currently a fringe max player at best (at least in anything even vaguely resembling a sustainable economic model) and Presti could get heaps in return from a team more able fork over the money Small Game James is seeking. The future of the Thunder's composition could very well lie on Harden's play this season, and whether he proves himself too valuable to lose.

4. Roy Hibbert

As you've probably figured out by now, the words "max deal" are being tossed around the NBA these days like "swag" and "YOLO" are by hip-hop wannabes, nowhere more evident than in Indiana, where ascribed All-Star Hibbert (who for argument's sake posted career bests of 12.8/8.8 last year, offering a defensive presence that, while valuable, was at-most 4th best among East centers) will be raking in as much money as he possibly can next season. The obvious questions are 1. "Does he deserve it?" and more importantly, 2. "Does this completely screw over the Pacers?" Neither can really be answered right now, because Hibbert is still only 25, has improved very dramatically over the past two years, and from all skills, conditioning, and attitude perspectives seems bound to continue. But the Pacers aren't prime candidates to bite the luxury tax bullet, and now have a ton of money tied up in Hibbert, while having made no significant upgrades this offseason. This means it'll up to guys like breakout-ready Paul George, and more so the dude this paragraph's about, to take Indiana further in a conference where they almost beat the NBA champs last spring, but have seemingly regressed against the competition up top.

3. John Wall
It was all too good to be true. Wall showed almost too much potential, his athletic ability was so far ahead of its time when he was drafted. He was Derrick Rose, only faster end-to-end; a perfect palette with which to paint a legendary point guard. Something had to go wrong. Enter the Washington Wizards. Enter Andray Blatche. Enter Nick Young. Enter Javale McGee. Rather than let his quarterbacking talents blossom, Wall was a relative daycare employee, and after a promising rookie campaign, hit a serious sophomore slump last season. Fortunately for him, the headaches appear to be gone; the immature mess that once marred the Wiz's roster has been replaced by stable veterans down low, and given way to another promising young gun (3rd pick Bradley Beal) to share Wall's backcourt. All the pieces appear to be in place for him to get back on the path to superstardom, but sometimes it's the immense amount of talent that's so difficult to harness. John Wall has all the potential in the World, but along with the possibilities, comes the potential for so much to go wrong.

2. Carmelo Anthony
Carmelo Anthony and Lebron James have been on very contrasting NBA journeys since their once-storied rivalry as high school and NBA rookie phenoms. Their stories met again this past year, linking up as Olympic teammates and putting on clinics as the US took the expected Gold. They face yet another indirect crossing as they return: in the same season James took himself from clear first to dead last (as in the entire League) on this list, Melo's inability to win became a popular topic among hoops pundits who wondered if he'd ever make the leap from hardcourt gunner to transcendent winner; be the Slim Charles of the NBA game (he's from B-More after all). Now almost a decade into his career with 0 Finals appearances under his belt, Anthony will be under the microscope like never before; his Olympic outbursts and triumph are fresh in everyone's minds, but we've all known he was a World-class scorer from Day One. What remains to be seen is everything else: Can he defend? Can he defer? Can he make those around him better? And, obviously, Can he win? Your move, Melo.

1. Dwight Howard
I'm sorta out of words at this point, not because I have a hard time justifying this slot or had a Writer's Block dropped on me, but there's really nothing more to be said about Dwight Howard that hasn't over the past 18 months. To sum things up for anyone who might be a new NBA fan or is simply nauseous from all the bullshit: Howard demanded a trade from Orlando, publicly denied it, then publicly confirmed, then denied it again (shit, who even really knows), mailed in all of last season, got his coach fired, attempted to model the team in his own image, got his GM fired when that didn't work, all the while acting immaturely in the media and with a lack of transparency that sabotaged his team's ability to move him effectively, so that when they ultimately were forced to, they got completely and utterly shafted. To say that he's humiliated the NBA would be a minor understatement, surely substantiating every negative stereotype about professional athletes held by the conservative public. The bad news for Dwight is that he's got a lot of making-up to do in the eyes of basketball fans. The good news for Dwight is that he landed in the proverbial Pot of (Purple and) Gold at the end of this shit-rainbow: he's on a team that's seriously threatening to take the NBA by storm, and as still the most dominant center in the League, he'll be right in the eye of it. Cue up "All Eyez on Me" and enjoy your season. 

Call Rasheed Wallace, It's Prediction Time

Training camps opened up league-wide a couple days ago, ringing in the beginnings of a new NBA season. Every basketball addict who spends the summer months struggling with few places to turn for a fix (there were even dry spots in this summer, which even more people were waiting on than Detox) savors this time of year; another eight months of the best hoops on the planet, and with a lockout on the horizon, maybe the last full season we'll get for a while.

With the preseason tipping off next week, this seemed like an ideal time to write up the Official Basketball Banter 2010-11 Preseason Predictions, my hopefully accurate insights about who's going to define the upcoming season. Before I begin, a quick confession: I think predictions are kinda stupid. As Tracy McGrady and Rasheed Wallace before us have proven, they're bold and falliable presumptions that we can see into the future and things will play out to our expectations...But man it's fun when you're right. Here goes nothing...

Rookie of the Year: John Wall, Washington Wizards

This is gonna be really tough. Both Wall and the belated Blake Griffin figure to be immediate impact players for teams that are supposed to be much better than last year. Griffin will surely bring solid rebounding and scoring help to a team that could use both, Wall's cieling is tremendous and his momentum much greater, having not just sat out an entire year. His dynamic with Gilbert will be fun to watch, but Arenas himself is coming off another season in suits, one that may have finally humbled one of the league's brashest personalities. If he cedes control to Wall's superior playmaking, it won't surprise me much, and might line the rookie up for this award and (!) maybe even a playoff spot in the suddenly wide-open bottom of the East bracket.

The Contenders: Blake Griffin, Demarcus Cousins, Evan Turner

Defensive Player of the Year: Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

This is kinda obvious. Howard's a safe bet to lead the League in rebounds and blocks, which would make it very hard to argue against him come April. You know what to expect from D12, and although his numbers dipped slightly last year (party due to teams becoming increasingly wary of his presence), he'll be the most dominant post defender in the NBA this year, and by far the most automatic award prediction.

The Contenders: Josh Smith, Rajon Rondo, Andrew Bogut

Coach of the Year: Erik Spoelstra, Miami Heat

Trying to predict this award's a bit of a crapshoot; winning it involves improving a battling through injury and other roster adjustments, and generally getting more out of your players than was expected. Although said expectations are tremendous in Miami this year, Spoelstra seems like a good coach who's respected by his players and has a team talented enough to spark talk of a 72 win season. The NBA brass didn't shy away from giving Mike F***ing Brown the COY when the Cavs won 67 games, so if Miami dominates the regular season and doesn't get complacent, and Spoelstra manages three superstars well amid more media sctrutiny than any team before, it'll be tough to deny him.

The Contenders: Scott Brooks, Scott Skiles, Jerry Sloan

Most Improved Player: JJ Hickson, Cleveland Cavaliers

Again, a tough one, simply because the guy who won it usually wasn't supposed to. "Improvement" often gets quantified by statisical margins when voters get down to it, and Hickson's an athletic beast who will have tons of minutes for the rebuilding Cavs after he destroyed Summer League and they lost their two centers (not to mention the biggest 3 in the league). With all the opportunity he'll have, it's hard not to see him becoming much more of a force by default; if his game's even a slight bit nicer than last year, it might be enough to lock this up for him.

The Contenders: Eric Gordon, Anthony Randolph, Goran Dragic

6th Man of the Year: Goran Dragic, Phoenix Suns

With Leandro Barbosa gone in Phoenix, Dragic becomes the de-facto backup in the rotation, who will see an increased presence as Father Time slowly creeps up on Steve Nash. Dragic likely won't start if the Suns are healthy, but he'll bring witty playmaking and dangerous scoring off the bench. Just ask the Spurs. He'll get plenty more time to shine, but with Nashty still playing at an MVP level, probably not enough to rule him out for this award.

The Contenders: Carl Landry (if he doesn't end up starting), Corey Maggette, Jamal Crawford

MVP: Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder

The fate of the MVP award this year might hinge on Miami doing something historic. If the Heat win 70+ games, then Lebron or Wade is clearly going to be the MVP. In any other situation, their great seasons are likely to have a counter-productive effect on each other's chances, much like Shaq and Kobe in LA. Meanwhile, Durant is the poised leader of an improving team, fresh off a runner-up in last year's voting and a dominant romp at the Worlds this summer. The Thunder are sure to improve as they mature and under a player whose leadership has been highly touted, they will become a true force; an MVP-caliber team for a guy who's already got those letters written all over him.

The Contenders: Lebron James/Dwyane Wade, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard

East All-Stars: G - Dwyane Wade, G - Derrick Rose, F - Lebron James, F - Chris Bosh, C- Dwight Howard, Bench: Joe Johnson, Rajon Rondo, Paul Pierce, Gerald Wallace, Amare Stoudemire, Andrew Bogut, Carlos Boozer

West All-Stars: G - Chris Paul, G - Kobe Bryant, F - Kevin Durant, F - Dirk Nowitzki, C - Chris Kaman, Bench: Steve Nash, Deron Williams, Tim Duncan, Rudy Gay, Al Jefferson, Brandon Roy, Russell Westbrook

East Bracket

1. Miami Heat - Easy choice here. Their offseason remodeling was the most impressive makeover since She's All That. Everyone and their grandma has them atop the East.

2. Boston Celtics - They got older, but also deeper; there won't be as much of a strain on their frontcourt's hobbled bodies. Should win 50+ easily if they stay healthy.

3. Orlando Magic - A few questions surround them now after Vince and Rashard regressed so much last year and Dwight failed to become a lethal offensive presence. Still very dangerous, but not the team that made the Finals two years ago.

4. Chicago Bulls - Landing Boozer and Korver helped ease the burn of missing out on the big fish in the Free Agent pool. They'll be much improved with the new faces, the continued growth of Rose and Noah, and not having their coach and GM brawling in the locker room.

5. Atlanta Hawks - You have to wonder how much better this team can get, or if they'll be as hungry now that JJ's Paid in Full and they know they have no chance of winning the East.

6. Milwaukee Bucks - Regardless of Michael Redd's health, this team is well-rounded and young enough that they could still surprise a few people with their developments. Fear the Deer.

7. New York Knicks - They're much more suited to D'Antoni's high-scoring antics with Felton and Stoudemire joining Gallinari, and much deeper than last year. They were dreaming of what Miami got, but after what they put themselves through to get there, any step forward is big.

8. Washington Wizards - Forget the abysmal season they had last year. They've got Arenas back, will have John Wall running the point, a healthy Josh Howard and the continued beasting of Andray Blatche. They have several young guys with lots of potential, and a chance to make this re-building thing pretty quick and painless.

West Bracket

1. Los Angeles Lakers - Last year they were the best team in the West by a large margin with both their bigs missing long stretches. Then they got deeper. Why bet against them now?

2. Dallas Mavericks - Adding Chandler to a full season of Butler and Haywood might make this the best team Cuban's thrown together, certainly the toughest defensively. Chances are it won't be enough for that title though...

3. Oklahoma City Thunder - As Durant continues to torment Seattle basketball fans, this team will be served much more notice this year, but also might have the highest cieling of any squad in the NBA.

4. San Antonio Spurs - The Spurs were much unhealthier last year than they've ever been (funny how that comes with age) but with Parker and Ginobili allegedly back at 100%, they stand a good shot at homecourt.

5. Utah Jazz - Losing Boozer stings, but Jefferson's a proven scorer who can hopefully develop some defensive intensity to endear Jerry Sloan. They covered themselves pretty well.

6. Houston Rockets - Things kinda hinge on the health of their two star players, but if Kevin Martin and Yao Ming can stay on the court, they'll bring the postseason with them.

7. Portland Trailblazers - I've kinda given up on bloating this team's preseason hopes on the hope that Greg Oden can redeem himself. They've lost both their backup points, Travis Outlaw, and a lot of faith in their big man's long-term durability.

8. Memhpis Grizzlies - This is my gamble. History and logic both would suggest that something will go horribly wrong in Graceland this season, but they've certainly got the talent to get here.

East Finals: Heat over Celtics

West Finals: Lakers over Thunder

NBA Finals: Heat over Lakers. I don't wanna see this happen, but I can't help but think it will. A lot of people seem to underestimate the devastation that Dwyane Wade and Lebron James will cause on the same team. Throw Chris Bosh in the mix, add a bunch of veterans who wants titles and know their roles, this team has size, skill and experience in spades. They're gonna put on one hell of a show, one that even us who are rooting against them will have to appreciate.

This Week's Water Cooler

It's Wednesday. You're deeply mired in the mid-week doldrums; work stacked above your head, too far removed from last weekend to be re-vitalized by it, not close enough to Friday to taste your freedom yet. You've got a murderous headache, it's raining harder than Dale Ellis outside, your fifth coffee just isn't doing the trick and by the boss' mood today, it's evident that things with the Mrs. haven't been at their best. It feels like you've been on the clock for many hours, and you reluctantly glance at your watch to find that it's only 9:30. Damn... As you reach for the pre-drafted resignation letter in your bottom drawer, you somehow manage to fight off every impulse in your aching body, take a deep breath, stand up and calmly stride over to that holy shrine of useless gossip, trivial ranting, and the rare token of indispensible wisdom. It's time for a break at the Water Cooler.

- While we're on the topic of beverages, it appears his daughter's ailments are far from the only tragedy plaguing the life of Allen Iverson these days. Allegations by Philadelphia-based NBA journalist Steven A Smith - a personal friend of Iverson's - point to AI being a problem alcoholic and gambler, whose life appears to be on a slippery downward slope. Iverson's responded to these developments only through his Twitter account, acknowledging that he's going through hardships (without elaborating) and thanking his fans for their support. Although I've had some very harsh words for Allen about how he's managed his legacy(I'm sure, of course, that he's read them many times and seriously taken them to heart), I can't help but feel for the guy. Iverson's had to abruptly face the cold reality that he's no longer a dominant basketball player, which has been his life for as long as he can remember. A steep fall from grace can really mess someone up, and despite (or perhaps becasue of) his reclusiveness, it's clear that things aren't A-OK for AI (alright, that was lame). All we can do is wish the best for him as he soldiers on, and hope that this intervention can stay amongst friends instead of evolving into a public meldodrama.

- Moving from something completely un-funny to something that might be slightly funny (or completely hilarious) depending on your disposition. Blazers center Ghostface Przybilla, recovering from season-ending knee surgery, managed to re-injure himself, not on the treadmill, not in rebounding drills, but by slipping the shower, just the latest in a long line of devastating blows to Portland's health this year. As unfortunate and terrible as this is, the irony of this a) happening to the Blazers and b) not happening to Greg Oden, is pure gold.

- Interesting work from my main man Frank Hughes, who sees some confusion for whichever team happens to land John Wall's services. Of all the teams with any hope of nabbing the first pick, only Indiana (and really, who wants to see Wall play there?) hasn't made deep financial or developmental commitments at the one-spot, so he might have to share a spotlight or be forced out of position. It'll be an interesting dilemma, but the lottery winners, if they are crazy enough to trade Wall's rights, should have no shortage of enticing offers. God, I hope it's the T-Wolves.

(Also in the same link, check out Frank's take on Jordan's new ownership of the Bobcats. Reailty bites.)

- Speaking of Jordan, of course he will. It's only a matter of time before they acquire Tyler Hansbrough, sign Joe Forte to replace Flip Murray, and formally apply for a move to Chapel Hill.
- Michael Finley is now a Boston Celtic, marking just the third time in NBA history that a team has suited up four players with 1000 games on the 'ol odometer. There's plenty of stances to take on the experience vs. youth debate, but the way Doc Rivers' squad's been playing these days, he's not happy about that stat.

- History was made yesterday when the Warriors announced that F/C Andris Biedrins would be missing the remainder of the season to undergo surgery on a torn abdominal muscle. Biedrins' latest injury cements his dubious honor as the worst single-season free-throw shooter the NBA has ever seen, hitting on 4 of 25 attempts for a scintillating 16% clip. Somewhere, Joakim Noah is smiling.

- On a closing note, I'll leave you with this: With the reigning champs looking very human and a number of teams seemingly ready to seize the crown, could The Larry O'Brien Trophy be more up for grabs right now than it was all last decade? Discuss.

Good luck surviving 'til the weekend everyone. Don't sleep on the Bucks. Peace.