Behind the Headlines

- The 76ers, down a trigger-happy point guard and in desperate need of a proverbial shot in the arm, have signed maybe the most prolific trigger-happy point guard ever; franchise icon Allen Iverson. The move ends maybe the shortest retirement in pro sports history and gives Iverson another, perhaps final, chance to right the sinking ship his legacy's riding. While he's still capable of top-notch scoring, I can only pray that AI buckles down and plays within the team; accepting that he won't be the man all the time and keep his mouth shut about it. Sure, the 76ers are going nowhere fast, but if the Answer can prove his value in a more balanced role, he could be an attractive free agent for a contender next summer and deal with the Question that's plagued him his whole career: his ringless fingers. The Philly fans are the clear winners here; their one-time savior returns to maybe once again rescue them from mediocrity, but Iverson could come out of this on top regardless of how well the Sixers do this year...or it could drive the nail in his career's coffin. The stakes are high but regardless, it's good to have him back.

- In unrelated (also unsurprising) news, Ron Artest, he of the Late-Night nudity, recently admitted to a Sporting News reporter that he used to keep Henny stashed in his locker when he played for the Bulls, and get his sip on at halftime. Apparently he had some difficulty kicking old habits, as Ron explains: "When I was a 19-year-old father, whew. I was a single pimp! I was wild...A lot of marijuana and alcohol -- even before [that age]. ... I [still] party and I have fun, but not like I used to. I used to drink every night and party every night." While this helps to explain some of the on-court antics we've seen from Mr. Artest over the years, it creates plenty of questions for his employer, and further skews the already distorted lens through which everyone observes him. I really don't know what to say about the guy at this point, other than it's clear he's not going to change. He's a grown man with a tormented yet goofy spirit who's been doing crazy shit in the NBA for damn near a decade. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the damage he's doing to his own image, but at least he's learned to stop doing damage to the team (...and Knicks TV equipment...and Detroit Pistons fans).

- Speaking of forwards whose lives have become running punchlines, Antoine Walker was in the news again this week. Last time we heard from the Round Mound of Ill-Advised 3's, he had tilted off nearly a million bucks at various Las Vegas casinos and bounced on the tab. Apparently 'Toine's patterned his business ventures after his gambling habits: several buildings owned by his Chicago-based realty company (which was already facing 12 incompetence-based lawsuits) have been cited by the city as a 'slum nuissance'. Respect the grind.

- Amare Stoudemire and Tyson Chandler's fans just had to know what was going down during their games last weekend, and their wallets are a little lighter thanks to new NBA rules that prohibit Tweeting during games. I don't know what's more ridiculous; that players can't focus enough on a game to leave their pretentious Twitter accounts alone for a few hours, or that League actually feels the need to regulate this kind of activity.

- And special shout-outs to the reeling Nets, whom the Lakers recently sent to a historical low: their failure to cop a W in any of their first 17 games is the worst start in NBA history. With Sacramento playing well, New Jersey is officially set to take over "Most Irrelevant Team" status once Devin Harris wins them a few games and people stop talking about them. All thirteen of you Nets fans out there, our prayers are with you.