"What do you get someone who has it all?"

'Twas long, long ago in a far away land, God (allegedly) sent a Son to live amongst man. Many years later, we celebrate and remember the birth of Christ every 25th of December. It's once again that time of year, when Christmas comes with all its cheer; carols are sung, and malls are packed, bells get rung and presents wrapped. Santa brings gifts to the good girls and boys, though NBA players can still enjoy toys. Some have been naughty and some have nice, either way, here's some last-minute Christmas advice:

For Chris Paul: a Slam Man, roll of tape, and pictures of New Orleans' roster. The Hornets are so devoid of the type of offensive arsenal the league's best PG needs to operate. Hopefully this'll help him take out some of the frustration that mounts every time he busts his ass to create a wasted shot for Peja.

For Greg Oden: Operation. Not only will it help him pass the time while he's on the shelf for the forseeable future, G.O. could use some positive motivation at this point in his career, and the Operation dude's about the only person who can make Oden look healthy by comparison.

...and on that note, for the Blazers: a Ouiji Board, so that they might make contact with the evil spirit that feels the need to cripple every potential franchise center they draft, and ask him to knock it off.

For Vinnie Del Negro: a pound of the finest kush you can get south of the border. He'll have a lot of free time pretty soon.

For Derek Fisher: one of those memory-erasing thingys from Men In Black.

For the LA Lakers: a set of Nerf guns and targets. With Pau two weeks off an injury and already complaining about a lack of touches, it's clear that there won't be enough shots on the court to please all their trigger-happy stars.

For Brandon Jennings: a sumo suit, to cushion the blow when he inevitably charges full-on into the Rookie Wall.

For The New Jersey Nets: an extensive arts and crafts set. After a historically abysmal start to the season, the Nets' young and lacking roster could use some wholesome distraction where nobody ever loses.

For the Toronto Raptors

For Antoine Walker: Monopoly Jr. Given the prolonged problems between 'Toine's real estate company and the city of Chicago, sounds like dude could use a more elementary lesson in property management. Then again, having a bunch of fake money to throw around might plant the wrong seed in his mind.

For the Cleveland Cavaliers: a fitting metaphor for the rest of their season.

And finally, for Tim Donaghy: With hope, it will consume his life and we won't have to hear from him anymore.