Banter's 2019 NBA Awards

Welcome, one and all to Basketball Banter's 2019 NBA Awards!

Obviously, it's been a while since I've posted on here; my last Banter post was 2018's Awards, exactly a year ago today.

I unfortunately have less time for writing these days, and that quota is largely devoted to my Memphis Grizzlies work for Beale Street Bears. But I felt inspired to knock the dust off my Blogger account this week, and toss my 2019 awards picks (however insignificantly) into the internet zeitgeist.

Let's get into it (stats accurate as of 04/10):

All-Rookie Teams
First Team: Luka Doncic, Trae Young, DeAndre Ayton, Marvin Bagley, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander


Second Team: Jaren Jackson Jr, Mitchell Robinson, Collin Sexton, Kevin Knox, Kevin Huerter

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: LUKA DONCIC
With his soggy build and lack of athleticism, many pundits questioned Doncic's NBA impact, despite him having dominated the World's second-best basketball league as a teenager.

It took just games for him to silence even the staunchest critics. Within weeks he was an internet phenomenon. By December, he was being compared to the best rookies ever. And by 2019, he was a nightly threat to drop a triple-double.

The end result is an absolute romp of a debut: 21.2/7.8/6.0. For context, Doncic averaged more points, assists and rebounds than LeBron James did in his rookie year, despite playing 23% fewer minutes per game. He also topped Rookie LeBron in most major advanced metrics.

Doncic was a one-man offense; converting on high-difficulty shots and passes time and again. His pedigree and instant success denied him any early grace period where a rookie is taken lightly. Guys went at him from the get.

The Rookie 20/5/5 Club is pretty exclusive: Doncic and James join Oscar Robertson, Michael Jordan, and for some reason Tyreke Evans. Unless we're being guided by the outlier, this is indicative of a generational talent.

Much respect to Trae Young, who went completely nuclear over the season's second half, triggering a surprisingly-competent Hawks turnaround (despite being the NBA's literal worst defender). Notwithstanding, Doncic's rookie season was one of the finest on record; pure piff from the first tip.

Regards To: Trae Young, DeAndre Ayton, Marvin Bagley


SIXTH MAN OF THE YEAR: MONTREZL HARRELL

Ironically, this award mainly comes down to two teammates. Un-ironically, they both hail from the scrappy, star-less overachievers that were this season's Los Angeles Clippers.

Lou Williams is a two-time former 6MOY winner, who dropped 20/game this year and was constant offense for a team that had often had no alpha scorer.

But if you dig a little deeper than points, Harrell's all-around impact on the Clippers is not debatable. He led the entire team in VORP, BPM, DBPM, win-shares, and PER (among qualifying players, sorry Boban). He also posted significantly higher ratings than Williams on both sides of the ball.

While there's plenty of blame to go around for the Clippers' refusal to die this season, many of the numbers paint Harrell as the chief culprit. His rugged hustle, relentless motor and consistent, high-IQ play were a model for the rest of L.A. (the Clippers, at least) to follow.

Regards To: Lou Williams, Domantas Sabonis, Derrick Rose

COACH OF THE YEAR: MIKE MALONE

As it's consistently been in years past, Coach of the Year was a bastion of arbitrariness again this year, fought for by several deserving candidates.

I can't knock a vote for Nate McMillan, who dragged the Pacers to another over-achieving season despite a slew of injuries. Nor for Doc Rivers, who Frankensteined a playoff team out of the Clippers' attempted rebuild.

Fringe contenders like Dave Jeorger, Kenny Atkinson, Nick Nurse and Steve Clifford also hold weight, but two candidates stand above the rest here: Mike Budenholzer, and Malone.

All due respect to Budenholzer, but I generally feel Milwaukee's season is as much an indictment of previous coaching as it is his triumph. It's also a massive chicken-or-egg race between he and Executive of the Year contender Jon Horst.

Last year's Bucks were a stacked squad that was highly maligned and misused. Adding Brook Lopez and a couple other pieces unlocked their potential, but spacing the floor around a player like Giannis Antetokounmpo is pretty basic stuff.

What sets Malone apart is how multi-faceted his performance was. The Nuggets were primed to make a leap this year, but many had them pegged for a mid-playoff team. Instead they jostled with the Warriors atop the West for months, despite prolonged absences to several key players.

Malone got the Nuggets to play top-10 defense, turning everyone's preseason concern about them into a strength. He milked max value out of former nobodies like Malik Beasley, Torrey Craig and Monte Morris, the latter of whom is now among the NBA's best backup PGs. And he maintained consistent success amid a violently oscillating lineup structure, with guys like Gary Harris out every other night, Trey Lyles wildly inconsistent, and Isaiah Thomas ultimately a dud.

Lots of deserving campaigns again, but Malone perhaps did the most with the least, and it was more than anyone - even at full strength - expected of Denver.

Regards to: Mike Budenholzer, Nate McMillan, Doc Rivers

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER: PASCAL SIAKAM

What after a few weeks looked like De'Aaron Fox's award to lose was snared by Siakam's out-of-nowhere ascent to likely future All-Star. Fox could've put up a fight, but he staggered a bit as the season went on, along with the Kings' playoff hopes.

Conversely Siakam became a breakout sensation for a Raptors team that went almost half the season missing Kawhi Leonard, Kyle Lowry, or both. They still managed to win almost 60 games, buoyed by amazing depth and Siakam's two-way brilliance.

Siakam's numbers surged across the board, including a leap from .508 to .549 shooting, despite almost doubling his attempts per game, and certainly commanding more attention from defenders. Siakam was indispensable on D himself, one of the league's most switchable players, with long limbs, ridiculous motor, and an increasing sense of awareness.

Siakam's case is more bolstered by Toronto's success, and the organic nature of his development therein. Nothing was ascribed about his role this season, nor was there much room for error in the pressure cooker of a Leonard contract year.

What Siakam's given the Raptors is instant Leonard insurance. If Kawhi stays, they'll have one of the scariest frontcourts in the NBA. But even if he leaves, Toronto might not be in such bad shape.

Regards To: De'Aaron Fox, D'Angelo Russell, Paul George

All-Defense Teams
First Team: G-Marcus Smart, G-Jrue Holiday, F-Giannis Antetokounmpo, F-Paul George, C-Rudy Gobert

Second Team: G-Eric Bledsoe, G-Patrick Beverley, F-Derrick Favors, F-Anthony Davis, C-Myles Turner

DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR: GIANNIS ANTETOKOUNMPO

Lots of people are going to try and give this award to somebody else, on account of Antetokounmpo's MVP-esque campaign, and that somehow cannibalizing his case here.

If you're looking at the DPOY race impartially, it has to go to either Antetokounmpo, or reigning champ Rudy Gobert. And there are mere hairs between them as candidates. Both are ultimate disruptions, who shoulder each other at or near the top of every major defensive metric, and anchor the NBA's two best team defenses. Both grab a ton of rebounds, and avg 2.5-3 stocks per game.

While Gobert is both the ultimate deterrent and penalty against ill-advised forays to the rim, Giannis is a shape-shifting eraser, who can lock up swingmen as easily as snuff the league's best center. His position-amorphous style is increasingly indicative of NBA trends, and thus of great advantage to the Bucks, who can switch him onto literally any attacker, and bust up otherwise-commonplace pick-n-rolls. It's not an exaggeration that Antetokounmpo is the NBA's single most versatile defender.

As recently as last month, Giannis had a decent edge. Gobert made an impressive late season rally to tighten the individual metrics gap, pull Utah to 50 wins, and nudge them right behind Milwaukee in team defense.

It's at least made the decision extremely difficult, but if we're judging the entire body of work here, and analyzing within the context of an increasingly perimeter-oriented league, Giannis wins by the slimmest of margins.

Regards To: Rudy Gobert, Paul George, Myles Turner

All-NBA Teams
First Team: G-James Harden, G-Stephen Curry, F-Giannis Antetokounmpo, F-Paul George, C-Joel Embiid

Second Team: G-Damian Lillard, G-Kyrie Irving, F-Kevin Durant, F-Kawhi Leonard, C-Nikola Jokic

Third Team: G-Bradley Beal, G-Russell Westbrook, F-Blake Griffin, F-LeBron James, C-Rudy Gobert


MOST VALUABLE PLAYER: GIANNIS ANTETOKOUNMPO

This was tough. This was really, really tough. Honestly, I'd have voted for co-MVP between Giannis and James Harden if I could, but that's too much of a cop-out.

Harden pulled possibly the biggest "Team On My Back" in NBA history. The Rockets confounded the entire NBA with their ineptitude over the season's first two months, but Harden righted the ship with a simply staggering offensive display.

Let the record show that he averaged almost 44 points for an entire fucking month, and had teams literally opening driving lanes for him to prevent his patented step-back three.

Even amid his exaggerated sometimes-sleepy defense, Harden's contributions were Herculean. His 36 ppg average is the most ever by someone not named Michael Jordan or Wilt Chamberlain; his game log peppered with triple-doubles and single-handed victories. As a result, Houston skyrocketed (sorry) from the West's basement to a homecourt seed, without both Chris Paul and Clint Capela for long stretches. It was nothing short of a historic season.

But Antetokounpo's case is just too bulletproof. He too had a historic year; the first guy to post averages of 27/12/5 in over 50 years. Of that rarefied list - on which he joins four straight-up NBA legends - Giannis posted by far the best eFG%, adding all-World defense for good measure. He sits neck-and-neck with Harden atop virtually every major advanced stat, bolstering one of the finest all-around statistical displays ever.

With two all-time great seasons placing Harden vs Antetokounmpo head & shoulders above the rest, Freak has the decisive edge in two areas:

1 - Defense. Harden's defensive commitment wanes from night to night, and even play to play. He's capable of heads-up stopping, but often mails in plays to save himself in between offensive possessions. As noted above, Antetokounmpo was (in my opinion) the NBA's best defender this year.

2 - Dominance. Houston was a total train wreck for the season's first six weeks, which definitely  can't be ignored. The Bucks' season was unimpeachable from the get; owning the NBA's best record and net rating, largely because of Giannis, and the system his unique physique and skill set permit.

It seems like robbery for Harden yet again. This could be his third narrow MVP loss in the past four years. But Giannis' steady ascent to the NBA's very peak reached its destination this season. He's 24 years old; his best is still yet to come.

Regards To: James Harden, Paul George, Joel Embiid

Basketball Banter's 2018 NBA Awards

Coming to you live from my parents' place where I'm recovering from foot surgery, it's the 2018 Basketball Banter Awards!

Let's face it; you're not here for an intro. You're going to read fourteen awards columns this week anyway, most with intros saying more or less the same thing. I'll spare you the agony here; on with the show:

ALL-ROOKIE TEAMS
FIRST
G-Ben Simmons, G-Donovan Mitchell, F-Kyle Kuzma, F-Jayson Tatum, C-Lauri Markkanen

SECOND
G-Dennis Smith Jr, G-Bogdan Bogdanovic, F-Dillon Brooks, F-John Collins, C-Jarrett Allen

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - BEN SIMMONS
In a harvest plentiful of talent, two first year (technically) phenoms rose above the rest and made this award truly painful to figure out. The beef is legit here; it's a very close race.

In one corner, Donovan Mitchell single-handedly saved Utah's season, coming out of nowhere as a dynamic lead scorer on a team bereft of offense. His unlikely role in the Jazz's equally-unlikely ascension to homecourt in the West is a convenient narrative.

But there's also Simmons, who despite his much-trumpeted aversion to threes does so much at an elite level right from the get.

He's already one of the NBA's best playmakers, with that rare  LeBron/Nash/Rubio third eye for passing lanes. He's lethal off the dribble; a soft finisher who's too long for guards and too quick for bigs. And on D he's a prototypical uber-stopper who can switch between all positions and is highly mismatch-proof.

His numbers are unique and speak for themselves. Unlike virtually all top picks, he earned his for a playoff team that - pending Joel Embiid's return - will be terrifying for a core making its postseason debut.

Regards To: Donovan Mitchell, Jayson Tatum, Kyle Kuzma

SIXTH MAN OF THE YEAR - LOU WILLIAMS 

Any time a sixth man is legitimately part of the All-Star discussion (let alone in a conference as
talent-packed as the West), this award is pretty much a wrap.

The Clippers were hit with wave after wave of injuries and seismic trades this year. Nightly they trotted out hastily-cobbled replacement rosters whose anonymity quickly became a running joke in NBA circles.

Yet somehow they remained competitive far longer than conceivable, clawing for a playoff berth until the season's final days. Doc Rivers seriously redeemed himself as a coach, but Williams was indispensable as go-to offense while Blake Griffin was either injured or traded. Lou BBQ'ed just about every team in the league during a Dec-Jan stretch that ranked among the season's loudest statements by any team or player.

Sure, he's not exactly a stout defender, and the Clippers did end up missing the playoffs. But this award has never been about two-way play or team success. Lou only checks a couple boxes, but does them with enough force to make this a landslide win.

Regards To: Fred VanVleet, Eric Gordon, Will Barton

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER - VICTOR OLADIPO

The most obvious of the award winners is also perhaps the most unlikely. Oladipo arrived in Indiana with his career firmly in neutral after several seasons of Orlando’s dysfunction and Russell Westbrook’s megalomania. He had the pedigree of a #2 pick, but doubts were beginning to grow that any upside remained.

We'll never know exactly what got to Vic. Maybe it was one too many look-offs from Russ. Maybe it was hearing all summer how badly Indiana was ostensibly robbed for Paul George. Whatever it was, something....changed.

Like he stumbled across a video game power-up, Oladipo ascended overnight to a level none of us knew he had. He was dropping 20+ nightly on more efficient shooting clips, while also raising his stats across the board; enough so in steals to lead the league.

Oladipo's emancipation coincided with the Pacers' wholly-unforeseen return to the West playoffs. He firmly claimed Indiana's top-dog status before Myles Turner could even get back on the court. As a result, the George trade has been heavily re-evaluated (word to Domantas Sabonis), and Indiana's "rebuild" lasted only a couple of weeks. 

Regards To: Spencer Dinwiddie, Demar DeRozan, Andre Drummond

ALL-DEFENSE TEAMS
FIRST
G-Chris Paul, G-Jimmy Butler, F-Draymond Green, F-Anthony Davis, C-Rudy Gobert

SECOND
G-Ben Simmons, G-Jrue Holiday, F-Giannis Antetokounmpo, F-Kevin Durant, C-Joel Embiid

DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR - ANTHONY DAVIS

Very strange year for DPOY voting. Kawhi Leonard - the default pick - played in like two games. Draymond Green - the reigning champ - spent many games in cruise control, and had his candidacy largely neutered  by his own teammate.

Rudy Gobert - who was widely-regarded as being an injury-free season away from the award - inevitably got injured. What this award comes down to is whether anyone else did enough to outweigh the 26 games he missed.

Some may see Gobert's impact as undeniable for a Jazz team that played within a hair of the league's best defensive rating and far exceeded projections. But Davis was just too much of a force, particularly over the back half of the season when he turned the NBA into his own Marvel movie.

Brow led the league in blocks by a mile, while finishing fifth in rebounds and 15th in steals. If the raw numbers don't impress enough, he was third in defensive win shares, and 11th in defensive rating. He was also practically the only Pelican with over 50 appearances and a positive DBPM (Jrue Holiday's 0.3 hardly counts).

A motivated Davis is also one of the rare players whose absurd numbers still betray "eye test" intangibles. The Brow offers dynamic disruption unlike few others; a high-IQ stopper with an apex combination of length and quick leaping, who can close out on a quick wing just as easily as he can erase a floater or smother a low-post brute.

It was long-posited that Davis had all the tools to become a revolutionary stopper. He hasn't even given us the full treatment yet, but in this season of would-be candidates, it's enough for the trophy.

Regards To: Rudy Gobert, Draymond Green/Kevin Durant, Joel Embiid

COACH OF THE YEAR - BRAD STEVENS 

Trying to sort out coach of the year is always s bit of a mindfuck, since it’s arguably the most arbitrary of all the awards, and usually predicated on some unforeseen circumstance altering a team’s season (#narratives). 

This year was especially difficult with a litany of coaches running convincing campaigns: Terry Stotts defied expectations again by piloting the Blazers to the top of the West’s bloated midsection. Nate McMillan did the same with the Pacers in the East, in an even less likely case. Dwayne Casey re-animated Toronto’s offense, unearthing the NBA’s best bench in the process.

Quin Snyder dealt with his usual onslaught of injuries, keeping the lotto-projected Jazz competitive. Doc Rivers went from "how does he still have a job" to "how is his team still in the playoff hunt". And even reigning champ Mike D’Antoni put on an epic title defense, withstanding injuries to both his stars while snaring the seemingly-untouchable #1 seed from Golden State.  

But Stevens was Optimus Prime this year. The Celtics have absolutely zero business being anywhere near the East’s #1 seed. Not after flipping 2/3 of their roster, losing Gordon Hayward five minutes into the season, and having their last month torpedoed by injuries to their best player and whole rotation. 

There’s a mounting body of evidence that suggests Stevens is the NBA’s neo-Popovich: from his teams annually exceeding expectation, to his X and Os wizardry, maximization of unconventional lineups, and the ongoing regressions of players Boston trades away. One could make the argument that Stevens is beginning to deserve the same default vote of confidence many voters have awarded Pop for years. 

Weigh the result of his season against all the obstacles he faced, and it’s tough to compute a different winner for this award.

Regards To: Quin Snyder, Nate McMillan, Terry Stotts

ALL NBA TEAMS
FIRST
G-James Harden, G-Damian Lillard, F-LeBron James, F-Kevin Durant, C-Anthony Davis

SECOND
G-Russell Westbrook, G-Demar DeRozan, F-Giannis Antetokounmpo, F-LaMarcus Aldridge C-Joel Embiid

THIRD 
G-Chris Paul, G-Victor Oladipo, F-Jimmy Butler, F-Karl-Anthony Towns, C-Al Horford

MOST VALUABLE PLAYER - JAMES HARDEN 

And so, the odyssey of a player who seemed destined for Susan Lucci status after several seasons of narrow MVP misses is capped.

While LeBron James and Anthony Davis both mounted formidable late rallies and made this award at least a debate, ultimately Harden's candidacy had built itself too strong a stratosphere to be punctured.

Davis responded to DeMarcus Cousins' injury with a catastrophic 30/12/3.5blk/1.5stl post-All Star
split that has - against all likelihood - kept the Pelicans in the playoffs. LeBron had flat-out one of the best seasons in a 15-year career that is unequaled in the longevity of its all-around dominance.

On the flip side, when Cousins was healthy, Davis wasn't even the Pelicans' best player for stretches. And LeBron's agelessness aside, this season was a multi-faceted disaster for the rest of the Cavs, which - fair or not - kind of hurts his case.

Harden meanwhile has meshed seamlessly with Chris Paul, without giving up an iota of his role as Houston's driving force. His assists and rebound numbers dipped (natural with Paul's arrival and Clint Capela's emergence), but Harden's 31/5/9 line is a monster output, on a sublime .620 TS%.

For those unimpressed by "popcorn stats", he demolished advanced metrics, leading the league in win shares, PER, BPM and USG%, finishing behind only LeBron in VORP.

All this while powering a 66-win juggernaut that did the almost-unthinkable in nabbing the West's #1 seed from Golden State, despite on-the-low not being so healthy themselves.

Reputation nods aside, it was Harden's turn this year, and he made a case that was impossible to ignore.

Regards To: LeBron James, Anthony Davis, Damian Lillard

Banter's 2017-18 NBA Season Preview

Another NBA season is upon us, this one bookending perhaps the single most ridiculous summer in league history. With dominoes freshly scattered all over the board, there's plenty of uncertainty abound, but we're going to figure it all out here (or least go down trying).

Here are Banter's predictions for the 2017-18 season, starting with possibly the single crappiest  geographic grouping of basketball teams since the early 90's California high school scene:

LEASTERN CONFERENCE

15. Chicago Bulls
Well that whole "Three Alphas" thing sure worked out didn't it. With Rajon Rondo, Dwyane Wade and Jimmy Butler all now playing in different cities (definitely for the better), the Bulls are left at ground zero. That they got such a crappy, high-risk return for Butler will only spike the pain of their self-inflicted rebuild.

14. Atlanta Hawks
The Hawks full-on nose-dove this summer, deciding to bottom out after years of competitive mediocrity. As a result, Dennis Schroder is now their best player, which doesn't bode well for his ego or Atlanta's season.

13. Brooklyn Nets 
Still haunted by the ghost of Billy Kings Past, the Nets are only ready for baby steps at this point. Gaining a few picks by taking on the burdens of Timofey Mozgov, Allen Crabbe and DeMarre Carroll's contracts will help them salvage some draft equity, but won't move the needle much on-court this year.


12. Orlando Magic
It's still tough to expect much from the Magic, who are now basically the Wooderson of NBA rebuilds. They've stunted their own growth with mismanaged assets; their progress this year relies on maligned talent without much of an identity or pecking order.

11. Indiana Pacers
Will go as far as Myles Turner can take them. Their veteran-laden rotation, while not as pitiful as the rest of the East's basement, is largely capped in terms of upside.

10. New York Knicks
The Knicks can now unleash Porzingis fully, which is more than any of the East's other lottery bound teams can say. Their rotation isn't awful relative to their neighbors, several youngsters could over-perform, and there should be a sense of relief amid this roster without the Phil-based negativity clouding their franchise.

9. Philadelphia 76ers
In this shallow of a conference, they're a playoff team with a healthy Embiid. But at this point betting on a healthy Embiid is foolhardy, so a narrow miss - trust #TheProcess - seems like the call.

8. Charlotte Hornets
Will likely make the East playoffs by mere virtue of not being as crappy as the rest of their competition. The forthcoming Michael Jordan/Dwight Howard owner-employee dynamic could be one of the season's most entertaining subplots.

7. Detroit Pistons
The Pistons had just about as bad a season as possible in 2016-17, and get to clap back with a renewed Reggie Jackson, ostensibly-upgraded shooting, and seriously inferior resistance. They can probably book playoff tickets.

6. Miami Heat
After least season's improbable midseason 180, Miami are suddenly deep rotation with an effective space-and-pace mandate. Sustaining last season's second-half success may not be unrealistic; they'll be playing a lottt of winnable games against East fodder.

5. Toronto Raptors

For a competitive team, the Raptors have adapted amazingly poorly to the evolving NBA game, with tons of midrange jumpers, a clunky center, and abhorrent ball movement (dead last in virtually every assist metric last year).

Attempting to reinvent themselves as 3-point gunslingers isn't going incredibly well so far. They can't sink too far in such a shallow conference, but they'll struggle to maintain footing with the rise of...

4. Milwaukee Bucks
Already having rattled the Raptors' cage last April, the Bucks appear set to leapfrog them this year. They'll benefit from strong continuity, a full season of Khris Middleton, a year of growth for Thon Maker, and Giannis probably uncorking an MVP-type campaign.

And this is to say nothing of Jabari Parker, who looms in rehab as one of the NBA's biggest x-factors. If he returns healthy, they're a mortal lock for the Top 4.

3. Washington Wizards
The Wizards came within Kelly Olynyk on PEDs of the East Finals last season and are returning virtually the same team. They have to be here.

2. Cleveland Cavaliers
The defending East champs enter the season with their new starting point guard shelved indefinitely, and far more adjustments than a Finals three-peater would like to make.

Between their numerous new bodies and health risks, shifting identity, and the token "Playing for June" mentality, a first seed might not be all that likely.


1. Boston Celtics
They consolidated their talent, but also lost several valuable role players. Even with a questionable defense and some mismatched talent pairings, Brad Stevens is a lineup wizard who's repeatedly found ways maximize unconventional edges. The Celts nabbed the first seed last year and probably got better; expect it to happen again.


BESTERN CONFERENCE

15. Phoenix Suns
"Two years away from being two years away" applies heavily here. The Suns are stocked with upside, but short on experience and anemic on both sides of the ball.


14. Sacramento Kings
Signing George Hill, Zach Randolph and (to a lesser extent) Vince Carter might stymie their youth movement, but should keep Sacramento slightly off the West floor. It's fair to question why they wouldn't just hand De'Aaron Fox the keys while gaining 2018 lotto equity, but Vivek sees things the rest of us don't.

13. Dallas Mavericks
After another summer of free agency shenanigans, the Mavs bring back a largely-unchanged roster from their unmemorable 33-49 run last year (plus Dennis Smith Jr). Given how much better the West has gotten, expect them to stumble a bit.

12. Los Angeles Lakers
The Lakers upgraded pretty much their entire roster through almost every medium: trades, the draft, free agency and player development. There will definitely be a learning curve though; anyone expecting this team to make the playoffs - rebuilding from the very bottom - is lying to themselves.

11. New Orleans Pelicans
More time for Boogie and Brow to coalesce can only be a good thing for the Pelicans. But they're also embarrassingly thin around their stars, and just handed $125 million to a guy who's pretty likely to get injured at some point this year. Stealing Cousins from the Kings might be the only thing saving Dell Demps' job right now.

10. Utah Jazz
The Jazz will probably still be an elite defensive team, but are going to have a wonderfully difficult time scoring with the rest of the lottery, never mind the West's best. Ricky Rubio can find easy looks for Rudy Gobert and Derrick Favors, but spacing will be limited since all three are total non-threats from distance. Look for Rodney Hood to have a large year.

9. Memphis Grizzlies
The West's ultimate dice roll, with everything in the air from Marc Gasol's future, to the development of several projects, and the perilously expensive health of Chandler Parsons. They're younger and more athletic, but likely not talented enough for their playoff streak to survive.

8. Portland Trailblazers
A full season with the Bosnian Bear on board might mean a return to the playoffs for Portland, who also added potential impact rookies in Zach Collins and Caleb Swanigan. They also won't have to live with the daily burden of Allen Crabbe's contract on their conscience.


7. Denver Nuggets 
Will be a wildly entertaining League Pass watch; a high-energy team with several gunners, built around a center who thinks he plays on the Harlem Globetrotters. They'll score on everyone. Everyone will score on them (except the Jazz). Good times.

6. Los Angeles Clippers
To state the obvious the Clippers will miss Chris Paul, but should fare OK for a team that just traded a top-10 player. Their rotation is deeper and more balanced, with upside potential in several spots and - finally - a starting 3 in Danilo Gallinari. If Blake Griffin stays healthy, they're playoff-bound.

5. Minnesota Timberwolves
Huge upgrades for the Wolves, who are now far deeper, far more talented, far more experienced, and far more functional than last year's iteration. The West's homecourt scene will be difficult to crash, but the 5-seed seems like - barring injury - the Wolves' floor.

4. Oklahoma City Thunder 
A newly-united "Big 3" of stars usually takes time to adjust to each other. It happened in Miami. It happened in Cleveland. It sure as shit happened to the Lakers. Given the heavy overlap in skill sets of the Westbrook/George/Anthony Scylla-monster, we can expect it to happen here.

OKC's going to need some time to get their stuff together, hell they barely beat an Australian League team the other night. Even if their ceiling's high, the Thunder will probably lose enough early games to squander a top-3 seed.

3. San Antonio Spurs
Betting against the Spurs is one of the most consistently-tested ways to make yourself look like an idiot. Time and time again, they've come into a season with naysayers doubting their age, depth and competitive edge, which has almost always resulted in humble pie. So yes, even amid the vastly improved competition, they'll probably still be here.

2. Houston Rockets
They were already an elite regular season team (trademark 2006, Mike D'Antoni), but adding Chris Paul to the existing space-heavy pick-and-roll horror show will be deadly.

The Rockets - overperformers on D last year - should also be a better defensive unit with PJ Tucker and Luc Mbah a Moute joining their perimeter. They'll steamroll enough weaker teams for the 2-seed, then flame out in the second round.

1. Golden State Warriors
Duh.


ALL-STARS
East Starters: G-John Wall, G-Kyrie Irving, F-LeBron James, F-Giannis Antetokounmpo, F-Kevin Love

East Bench: G-Kyle Lowry, G-Bradley Beal, F-Gordon Hayward, F-Kristaps Porzingis, F-Al Horford, WC-Kemba Walker, WC-Goran Dragic


West Starters: G-Stephen Curry, G-Russell Westbrook, F-Kevin Durant, F-Kawhi Leonard, F-Anthony Davis

West Bench: G-James Harden, G-Chris Paul, F-Draymond Green, F-Paul George, F-Jimmy Butler, WC-Blake Griffin, WC-Karl-Anthony Towns


AWARDS
As some of you know, I recently took a gig writing for the Memphis Grizzlies site Beale Street Bears of the Fansided network. Part of the arrangement is an exclusivity clause that my work for them not be duplicated elsewhere.

I recently submitted my picks for the NBA's regular season awards as part of BSB's preseason Roundtable series; in an effort to not potentially plagiarize myself, I've linked my predictions below:


ROY: Lonzo Ball

COY: Tom Thibodeau

6MOY: Jae Crowder
(Submitted the above pick before all this nonsense about Kevin Love starting at center - thus creating room for Crowder to start - began leaking. Still possible that doesn't happen and/or work, so I'll stand by my pick)

MIP: Myles Turner

DPOY: Rudy Gobert

MVP: Kawhi Leonard


ALL-NBA

First Team: G-Russell Westbrook, G-Steph Curry, F-Kawhi Leonard, F-Kevin Durant, C-Anthony Davis

Second Team: G-James Harden, G-John Wall, F-LeBron James, F-Giannis Antetokounmpo, C-Karl-Anthony Towns 

Third Team: G-Chris Paul, G-Kyrie Irving, F-Draymond Green, F-Paul George, C-Nikola Jokic


PLAYOFFS
East First Round: Celtics > Hornets, Cavs > Pistons, Wizards > Heat, Bucks > Raptors
West First Round: Warriors > Blazers, Rockets > Nuggets, Spurs > Clippers, Thunder > Wolves

East Semis: Celtics > Bucks, Cavs > Wizards

West Semis: Warriors > Thunder, Spurs > Rockets

East Finals: Cavs > Celtics

West Finals: Warriors > Spurs

NBA Finals:  Warriors > Cavs

Here's to another great NBA season - enjoy the action!

Offseason Power Rankings Part III: The Top 100

We've been through the losers and the have-whats, now it's time to count down the Top 100 of the Offseason Power Rankings.

(If you're not up date and have some time on your hands, check out Part I and Part II)

This is the top 10%; anyone who's here was a clear winner of one of the zaniest offseasons ever, so congrats to all. Without further ado...

100. Nike's New Jerseys

Clean, bold, well-received in an era where things like jerseys, logos and even court designs are hyper-analyzed. The addition of corporate logos - once a widely-feared new realm - went over very smoothly, and generates new revenue for an increasingly-progressive league.

91. Denver Nuggets
Whether or not Paul Millsap makes long-term sense for such a young team, the Nugs now have a valuable asset that lifts them cleanly into the playoff picture of a loaded West. They also score high in the upside/continuity index that benefits a roster on the come-up.

It's unclear whether Millsap himself will be enough to make their comical defense respectable, but after years of failed Kenneth Faried-based attempts to land an All-Star, Denver's done it while retaining all their assets.

82. JJ Redick
Redick's upcoming season is a perfect NSA arrangement; a fat one-year contract so he can help an upstart team hit the salary floor, have the green-light on 3s, and tap Joel Embiid for his podcast.

74. Manu Ginobili
Screw the "help-the-team" loyalty discount a-la Tim Duncan. Manu still pocketing $14 million on his new one-year deal.

67. Philadelphia 76ers
Already in the midst of inspiring progress last year, the Sixers added two #1 overall picks to the mix, while retaining the best long-term financial situation of any NBA team.

They'd be much higher if it weren't for the lingering double-edged dilemma of Joel Embiid's unreliable health and ill-timed contract extension. Inking him is the ultimate gamble; not since Bill Walton has a player shown both such immense talent and injury risk.

59. Joe Ingles

Few players will ever get as much money for accomplishing so little.

58. Cristiano Felicio
OK, maybe more than a few.

50. The Nick Young-JaVale McGee Reunion
The Ringer's Shea Serrano explains:

"I’m excited for, like, eight months into the season when Nick goes missing for two days and everyone’s in a panic but then it turns out that he and JaVale were playing a game of hide-and-seek and JaVale just forgot to look for him."

42. Kristaps Porzingis
He still plays for the Knicks so we can't put him too high, but Zinger had a pretty kick-ass summer.

First, Phil Jackson got fired for even talking about trading him, which is the best thing that's happened to the Knicks' personnel in memory. Not even recent memory, just memory period.

Not only is Porzingis now free of the triangle, but also possession czars Carmelo Anthony and Derrick Rose. He'll now have all the touches he wants, and can begin to test his immense ceiling as a player.

37. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope
Despite only getting one year of guaranteed money, KCP hit a solid paycheck and landed in an ideal situation for a contract year. He'll have ample touches playing with a pass-first point guard and for a player's coach, on a team set to make upward moves with few expectations.

I could be wrong, but I'm also pretty confident Caldwell-Pope was the only free agent signee who got compared to a biblical miracle by their new GM this summer.

32. Kawhi Leonard's MVP Stock
Last year's third-place finisher might be the current frontrunner for MVP, with a mob of the league's best players all nullifying each other on the same teams. There's also enough haze surrounding Cleveland's season to feel leery of the default MVP's odds.

If Kawhi does win, he'll join Michael Jordan and Hakeem Olajuwon as the only winners of the MVP-Finals MVP-DPOY triple crown (Olajuwon won all three in the same season #beast).

29. Blake Griffin
Griffin took two large W's this summer. First, Chris Paul's departure left him solo as the team's biggest star in a massive market; something that will probably matter to the brand-savvy Griffin more than most.

Better yet, one of the NBA's most often-injured players just locked up $170 million. In Griffin's case, his ailments have been usually minor, non-repeating, and occasionally self-inflicted, but anyone with his rap sheet has to be happy the ink on that contract's dry.

25. Tracy McGrady 
A guy who spent a solid decade as a walking Hall of Fame debate finally gets to end the speculation.


22.  Magic Johnson and Rob Pelinka
Magic someday running the Lakers just seemed like manifest destiny. You can almost picture Jerry Buss on his deathbed telling Magic: "It's all set up. I'll pass control of the team to Jimmy so he gets his inheritance and feels fulfilled. But he'll screw it up horribly and force himself to be replaced. That's where you step in... Sorry one of my call girls gave you HIV."

Meanwhile Pelinka's made gradual power moves from the Fab Five's supporting cast, to high-level NBA agent, and now GM of one of the biggest sports franchises in the world. Impressive laddering.

20. The Drive-By Dunk Challenge
Because "NBA Stars Dunk and Run at Random Homes" is a real, actual headline from CNN.

19. Myles Turner and Rodney Hood's Fantasy Stock
There's gonna be a lotttt of touches to go around in Indiana and Utah this year. Bet on these guys being the prime beneficiaries.

18. Boston Celtics
Much can be said about Danny Ainge's whirlwind offseason, most of which is positive:

- He traded for a quasi-superstar
- He netted an All-Star for absolutely nothing
- He flipped a #1 overall pick and still got his target player
- He bailed on the Isaiah Thomas experience at what's looking like the perfect time
- Boston's one of the NBA's six best teams and might not have even come close to its ceiling yet

But then there's the flipside that the Celts probably overpaid for Kyrie, while fanning on Jimmy Butler and Paul George when their prices couldn't possibly have been lower. Ainge stockpiled assets masterfully, but his payout might leave something to be desired.

17. Dion Waiters
Contract-wise, by far the Most Improved Player of the NBA offseason: Waiters Island GDP is up from 2 yrs/$6 million to 4 yrs/$52million.

16. Stephen Curry
Chef Curry was cookin' everywhere this summer; from winning history's most ridiculous basketball game on a Korean TV show, to showing out at a professional golf tournament.

Meanwhile, Curry's kitchen budget got a boost with his $200 million contract, finally paid like the mega-star he is.

15. Otto Porter
Porter's uber-efficient breakout 2016-17 season netted him a max deal, underscoring the inflated market value of a solid 3 & D guy. Otto may yet grow into his contract, but is undoubtedly a beneficiary of the recent free agency spending spree. Speaking of which:

14. The 2016 & 17 Free Agent Classes
Because this pattern is financially unsustainable. When the guys who signed pre-2016 deals all expire, demand this kind of money, and the free agency market slowly crashes, the Bismack Biyombos and John Leuers of the world will only be able to sit back and smile.

13. Carmelo Anthony

Finally escaped New York, finding refuge with the best team he's ever played on. Melo's arrival in OKC allows him to chase his perpetually-elusive playoff relevance, in what's probably the end of his prime.

Better yet, it's a perfect situation for Team USA Melo to finally emerge in the NBA. Anthony is a dangerous spacing threat when not clogging the ball in the midrange. He dominated Olympic play for years in this role, and sneakily shot better than 42% on catch-n-shoot threes last year. With all the defensive confusion Russell Westbrook and Paul George will cause, there should be more open treys for Melo than ever before.

He's been set up perfectly to re-invent himself and perhaps steer his legacy in a better direction. If Hoodie Melo is any indication, that may have already begun.

12. Dwyane Wade
Distancing himself from the train wreck in Chicago was a winning move for a guy whose years of relevance as an NBA player might be numbered. But joining the Cavs and reuniting with LeBron to chase another title? I can't recall the last time a player instantly upgraded his team - and legacy potential - so significantly. #BananaBoat!

11. Los Angeles Lakers
Jimmy Buss is gone. So is Timofey Mozgov's Hindenberg of a contract, and that snitch D'Angelo Russell. Inbound are Lonzo Ball (more on him later), Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Brook Lopez and potential draft steal Kyle Kuzma, plus a lean, mean Julius Randle, and more comfortable, less string-beany Brandon Ingram.

Also, while it may still be forecasting, the entire NBA community did spend the summer yammering about Paul George and possibly LeBron signing next year. This is the Lakers though, they could only be irrelevant for so long.

10. Houston Rockets
They may have missed out on Melo, but landing Chris Paul is a slam-dunk win for a team that's whiffed on superstars time and again. Credit Daryl Morey for steadily building assets while also remaining competitive, getting max return when he deployed them.

Paul and James Harden will both have to get used to sharing ball control and playmaking duties, but are set up ideally; running pick-and-rolls with Clint Capela, surrounded by an elite corps of shooters. If there's one coach who can make this work, it's Mike D'Antoni.

9. Sam Presti's Trading Acumen
Similar to players, GMs have attributes. Sitting a decade at the helm of the Thunder's front office, Presti had developed a consistent reputation as a master of the draft board, and perhaps a bit of a minus on the trade market (see: Harden, James; 2012 et al).

This was particularly problematic to the Thunder, a free-agency pariah who currently weren't bad enough for a lottery pick, and needed to pull rabbits out of hats to keep the reigning MVP in town.

But what Presti accomplished this summer was a stark antithesis to his trading track record. He landed not one but two star players for pennies on the dollar, while looking ever smarter for dumping Cameron Payne on the lowly Bulls for a king's ransom.

In the midst of reverse-engineering his reputation, Presti also swiped Melo from the rival Rockets, and gave Westbrook the assurance he needed to ink long-term. OKC's outlook can only improve if Presti's new competitive edge continues trending.

8. Tim Hardaway Jr
This year's recipient of the "Why??" Award, for the contract that was offered in the moment of most profound weakness, impulsivity, and possible intoxication.

7. Oklahoma City Thunder

Against every conceivable odd, the Thunder landed two star players for virtually nothing, and will reclaim a spot in the West's top four. Granted, it all comes with a large asterisk.

Uniting the Westbrook/George/Melo triad optimally will be tricky, and there's a solid chance their new stars could peace out next summer. The Thunder are possibly setting themselves up for yet another superstar breakup; they're like the Taylor Swift of the NBA.

Of course, locking up Russell Westbrook is a massive safety net for OKC. If the new Big 3 mesh, it's incentive for PG to reconsider his Lakers dreams, and for Melo, his best chance to be relevant on a contender. Even if they do leave, the Thunder still have an MVP to build around. 

Regardless of outcomes, PG and Melo were a must-take gamble for the Thunder given the price. If the team remains together, Sam Presti's summer will go down among the trade market's greatest all-time heists.

OKC is, if nothing else, refusing to be complacent while showing strength in the trade market for perhaps the first time. For a franchise and fanbase that lost James Harden for pennies and Kevin Durant for zilch, it has to be a feel-good moment.


6. Jrue Holiday
Gifted a lavish $125 million contract in what can only be deemed an act of desperation from the Pelicans' front office. Holiday has been a consistent ailment risk since arriving in New Orleans, averaging only 51 games per season over four years.

Despite his effectiveness in that limited role, he's now paid like a star for the next half-decade. Inking such an injury-prone player for so much and so long opens the Pels up to a multitude of issues, especially given their training staff's poor track record.

As such, Holiday should've been subject to a handicapped contract, but got stacks thrown at him. His new fortune is especially lucky given how bad the market was for good point guards with checkered injury records - just ask Kyle Lowry.

5. Kevin Durant
KD absolutely crushed the NBA Offseason Social Media Sweepstakes, roasting numerous haters on Twitter, while randomly (but hilariously) picking off Adreian Payne in the crossfire.

He also ensured Golden State could keep their core together by taking a massive pay cut, a move whose true altruism is debatable but nonetheless is a huge plus for the Warriors and Durant's legend growth.

But most importantly, this offseason was Durant's Moment. He had ascended to the peak, dominated the NBA Finals, and smothered every hater in a shower of championship confetti. He clearly didn't give a flying fuck what anyone said about him. Nor should he have. Durant was untouchable this summer; the single player with the least to prove coming into this season.

4. Leslie Alexander
Buys Rockets in 1993 for $85 million. Immediately wins back-to-back titles. Enjoys hordes of Yao Ming and James Harden merchandising revenue. Sells Rockets in 2017 for $2.2 billion. Good game, sir.


3. Minnesota Timberwolves
This is how you offseason. The Jimmy Butler heist set basketball in Chicago back a half-decade. It gave the Wolves a two-way beast who creates buckets for himself that Ricky Rubio no longer will for others, and allows Andrew Wiggins to guard worse players (instead of being the NBA's  most picked-on defender).

As if that weren't enough, they inked another Tom Thibodeau alum in the versatile Taj Gibson, while getting great value on the Jeff Teague signing. Add Jamal Crawford to only juice the veteran presence on what's now one of the NBA's deepest rotations.

Concerns about their spacing and shooting are overblown. While they lack 3-point marksmen, pretty much their whole rotation are average or slightly-above gunners from distance. They can play five-out capably and no longer field the NBA's worst-shooting PG duo in the Rubio/Kris Dunn two-headed monster.

Either way, the Wolves took the express elevator to NBA relevance; they should leap a good seven spots - at least - in the standings this season.

2. Lonzo Ball

Regardless of what you think about Lonzo or his inflammatory dad, he absolutely killed it this offseason.

Being drafted by his hometown Lakers sets him up to lead their rebuild while in a perfect market to grow his brand. It also enables him to be close to his mother as she recovers from a recent stroke.

The Vegas Summer League was basically the Lonzo Ball Show, where he toyed with the opposition, averaged a boisterous 16/9/7/3.5 stocks, and won both the MVP and championship. Recently it came time for training camp, where Lonzo is torching his new teammates, leading a squad of bench scrubs and rookies to an unbeaten record in scrimmages.

Ball's obvious ambitions to develop a personal brand also took flight. Lonzo was inescapable this summer; from his shoes, to his raps, to his reality TV show, and soon to be a Facebook documentary.

Even if his opinions about classic hip-hop are dubious, the mere fact that such things register as news are proof that Lonzo Ball has made it. He firmly emerged from LaVar's ominous shadow this summer, which could be considered the biggest victory of all.

1. Golden State Warriors

Everything's coming up Warriors.

This may seem like an easy way out, but even for the defending champs the Warriors had a simply incredible offseason that registered on so many levels:

Merely kicking the summer off with a championship parade is good for a strong ranking, but the Warriors weren't satisfied. Draymond Green spent the celebration mercilessly trolling the Cavs (the "Quickie" tee was pure genius) and publicly unnerving LeBron.

Next came draft night and robbing the Bulls of Jordan Bell, who spent Summer League putting on a frightening display of freakishly athletic defense that set the whole internet - and NBA - on notice.

Kevin Durant then took a 20% pay cut, immediately making him the NBA's best-value contract. The salvaged cap room enabled Golden State to give Steph Curry a much-deserved max deal while retaining their entire core of free agents - even JaVale McGee!

They signed Swaggy Mothafuckin' P.

They united the two guys responsible for one of history's greatest "Fuck You" shootouts.

Their stars were everywhere in the offseason, maintaining a pulse that permeated the NBA fandom bubble and resonated heavily in new markets and countries.

But most importantly, they served as a galvanizing force in the ongoing struggle against Trump's tempestuous tirades. The controversy surrounding their White House (dis)invitation became a lightning rod the entire World - not just the sports world, everyone - rallied around. The Warriors handled a difficult situation with class and aplomb, sending a powerful message to - like it or not - a very powerful person.

While this all happened, NBA GMs unloaded the full clip on them, pulling off innumerable blockbuster trades and signings to horde stars and rattle GSW's grip on the Larry O. Not only do none of these new "superteams" appear worthy challengers yet, the only team posing a realistic threat to the Warriors began actively decomposing.

I was recently explaining all this offseason madness to a casual-fan friend who was big into Game of Thrones: "All these teams making splashy trades and overpaying free agents in a pseudo-power struggle are basically the houses of Westeros. The Warriors are the White Walkers." And not even George RR Martin could've scripted them such an offseason.

Offseason Power Rankings Part II: The Half-Steppers

The 2017 NBA Offseason was a chaotic mess of player movement, shifting power dynamics, nefarious rumors, social media beefs and more cap space incineration.

It left many teams and players in a hazy flux; neither clear winners nor losers. Banter's Offseason Power Rankings turns the spotlight on them with Part II: The Half-Steppers.

(Missed Part I? Check it out here.)

655. D'Angelo Russell
Russell got high-profile dumped by the Lakers to kick his summer off, with Magic throwing not-so-thinly veiled shade at him on the way out. Landing on the Nets is a mixed bag of results; with low expectations and great opportunity, but also a rag-tag roster and sudden onus for a breakout year.

638. LeBron James
Though his recent Twitter jabs at "President" Trump have been stand-up displays in needed times, this summer wasn't great overall for King James. Sure he's got plenty of new reinforcements to fill the Kyrie Irving void, but he still endured an ugly breakup with the best teammate he's ever had in Cleveland.

Furthermore, most signs point to LeBron bailing next summer, departing his hometown yet again. There's also been much talk of him moving West, dealing yet another blow to the East's talent pool, which is a decidedly a bad thing.

The only silver lining to a LeBron-Cleveland exodus would be that it isn't humanly possible to do it as poorly as his last one.

614. Memphis Grizzlies
Z-Bo and The Grindfather may be gone, but Memphis enters this season with a wide range of
possible outcomes.

The best of them (if by some miracle Tyreke Evans and Chandler Parsons are both healthy), makes them a likely playoff team. The worst of those short-term - dealing Marc Gasol and tanking - could set Memphis up nicely for next year's draft. Not awful either way, but a large dice roll this season.

587. Charlotte Hornets
Sort of a blah offseason. Malik Monk could be one of the draft's semi-steals at #11, but his union with Kemba Walker might be a tricky one. The Hornets also got Dwight Howard for a pair of socks, but now have to pay him, and run the not-so-small risk of him completely ruining their franchise.

The upside is that the Bulls, Pacers and Hawks are all awful now. Count Charlotte among the favorites to grab one of the empty playoff slots.

545. San Antonio Spurs
Losing Jonathon Simmons was a bit of a kick in the nuts, but snagging Rudy Gay is a plus move for the Spurs. He'll come in handy as a secondary scorer on those ever-more-frequent nights when LaMarcus Aldridge disappears.

A slight loss on the offseason overall, as the West's penthouse is now far more crowded beneath the Warriors, and Houston or OKC may well overtake them as the 2-seed if their superteams mesh.

513. Tony Allen

Gifted us with a hilariously insightful interview at the Basketball Hall of Fame, during which he called out Rudy Gay's role in the birth of the Grit N Grind Grizzlies. On the flipside, his (and Zach Randolph's) exit from Memphis marked #GNG's official passing, as Allen was left on the free agency scrapheap to sign with the floundering Pelicans.

499. Detroit Pistons
The Pistons are still rocking the tenth-highest team payroll, for a roster that might not crack the league's top-20. Their offseason mainly consisted of swapping Kentavious Caldwell-Pope for Avery Bradley, losing Marcus Morris as collateral.

They're still a mostly-gross squad, but should improve if for no other reason than Reggie Jackson can't possibly be as bad as he was last year. Like the Hornets, they're now among the most likely teams to ascend to the East playoffs.

477. Milwaukee Bucks
Though a highly uneventful offseason in Milwaukee, they get another year of growth and continuity for a simply frightening young core. First-round pick DJ Wilson adds to the Bucks' long, athletic and defense-minded stable of talent.

Despite the progress, there's been some ugly subplots to the Bucks' summer, like Jabari Parker's supreme-risk contract dilemma, and murmurs of Giannis Antetokounmpo's departure (already). They'll make strides in the East, but both stakes and expectations will be high. 

458. Washington Wizards
A highly break-even offseason for the Wizards. Slightest of demerit points for being forced into (probably) over-paying Otto Porter.

427. Zach Randolph
The Good: Ended his tenure with the Grizzlies to an ovation of appreciation and an instant number-retiring.

The Bad: Got arrested for weed for like the 40th time.

402. Miami Heat
Retained the key pieces from last season's miracle turnaround, but probably overpaid to do so. Import Kelly Olynyk - despite likely having tilted the outcome of the East semifinals - will have to grow into his contract.

They're now a sure-bet playoff team in the East, but currently have the league's fourth-highest payroll, still owing Chris Bosh $52 million over the next two seasons.

381. Toronto Raptors
Losing Patrick Patterson and PJ Tucker hurts their frontcourt, but the Raptors caught Kyle Lowry exactly where they wanted him, got good value on Serge Ibaka, and shed the DeMarre Carroll mistake. Coming into an offseason of mass uncertainty, that has to be viewed as a mild success for Toronto. 


355. Phoenix Suns
Another team who should benefit heavily from an offseason of youngster development. They also added a coveted draft prospect in Josh Jackson, presenting high value both as a player and trade asset.

While the Suns failed yet again to make a big offseason splash, they were prudent not to just light cap space on fire like so many others, leaving immense financial freedom going forward.

304. Derrick Rose
Say what you want about LeBron's expectations, or (maybe, if Isaiah Thomas' hips don't fall apart) losing his starting spot, Rose got the hell out of New York, a win in itself.

286. Orlando Magic
Another offseason of relative standstill for a team that's spent over a half-decade trying to kickstart their rebuild. Jonathon Isaac is an enticing prospect, but only complicates their current confusion about which position Aaron Gordon plays.

Ultimately this summer has to be seen as a win, for finally canning Rob Hennigan after he grossly mismanaged the team's assets and cap space throughout his tenure.

255. Paul George

Interesting spot for PG13. On one hand, he's gotten out of Indiana, and much like Jimmy Butler won't have to waste his prime with a lost franchise any longer. His new squad is much-watch basketball that will heavily shake the Western power balance.

Much unlike Butler, he's landed in a highly-combustible short-term situation. He'll likely have to bend the most within OKC's new supersystem, while also implicitly setting himself up as a scapegoat for the league's small market sympathy if he does in fact bolt for L.A.

232. Danilo Gallinari
At least he got the order of operations right: sign lucrative new deal, then break your hand punching a guy.

209. Portland Trail Blazers
Dumping Allen Crabbe's monstrosity of a contract was a mild blessing for Portland, who could now possibly duck the luxury tax this year.

They also nailed their biggest need - a defensive big man - by drafting Zach Collins, whom you might remember from snuffing everything that came near him during Gonzaga's NCAA Final run last March.

185. Russell Westbrook
Now supplemented with Carmelo Anthony and Paul George, Westbrook won't have to do everything for the Thunder anymore, and will be competing with the NBA's best teams again. That said, you know deep down that Russ had more fun doing everything - averaging and triple-double and winning MVP - than any other time in his life.

164. Sacramento Kings
Year 1 AB (Anno Boogie) is off to a not-awful start. They landed what could turn out to be the best draft haul of any team, while adding George Hill at good value, stymie De'Aaron Fox as he may. The Kings also raided Memphis' veteran fire sale for Vince Carter and Zach Randolph, adding two still-functional veterans who've seen just about everything in the NBA (except a championship parade).

136. Dwane Casey
Somehow managed to not get fired for the like fifteenth consecutive summer. Will probably be a hot-seat candidate for the like sixteenth consecutive season.

114. Kyrie Irving
Got his wish for a trade granted swiftly by the Cavs, who shipped them to their only potential East rival, immediately adding immense revenge appeal to their matchups. He's now The Man, and can flaunt his desired ability to lead a winning team.

Of course, with that potential comes the possibility it all falls flat and Kyrie doesn't lift the Celtics to the next level. Questions abound about his defense, playmaking and leadership ability; whether he's truly better off without LeBron is heavily debatable.

Much will be made of the price the Celtics paid for him, and the spotlight is now very much in his eyes.

Stay tuned for Part III: The Top 100, coming soon...

2017 Offseason Power Rankings - Part I: The Basement-Dwellers

So. That was an offseason.

After Kevin Durant kind of changed the game last year, this summer became an utter clusterfuck of star - and superstar - movement.

As the salary cap bonanza continued, teams threw astronomical amounts of money around, even with the cap coming up shorter than projected.

Rumors, beefs and demands completely flooded the internet. The soap opera and hype machine factors were higher than ever before.

A deep draft loaded with (what else) point guards gave the league a huge supplement at what was already its most talented position.

And while the Warriors still stand alone as the NBA's best, the power dynamic beneath them has shifted noticeably amid the dustup over the past few months.

So who came out on top of all this madness? Focusing purely on this summer's impact, Banter's attempting to rank how the NBA's various entities fared over the offseason, starting at the bottom with the Basement-Dwellers:

Last Place: The Eastern Conference
It was already long the crappier of the two conferences, but this summer for the East was like Season 3 for the Barksdale crew.

Two of the East's four best players were traded to the West for virtually nothing. A third All-Star left for absolutely nothing. As such, the Hawks, Pacers and Bulls are about to nosedive down the standings, leaving a huge void at the bottom of the playoff bracket.

Concurrently, there was little-to-no progress from East doormats like Orlando, Brooklyn and New York. With the possible exception of the Celtics, every East team top-to-bottom is now crappier than its West counterpart.

While we struggle to justify Eastern All-Stars this year, there will be incessant discussion of LeBron James' apparent intent to also skip town for the West, which would basically be the basketball equivalent of this conversation.

987. Dan Gilbert
Gilbert's Summer started by panic-firing the GM who put the Cavs' championship team together, as he was working a deal for Jimmy Butler no less. Then came the realization that nobody wanted to work for the Comic Sans Bandit when all his target candidates declined.

One of the key factors in their skepticism were rampant rumors - so many that it's hard to just call them rumors - of LeBron's imminent departure. As if that weren't enough, Kyrie Irving then forced his way out of town, capping a total shit-typhoon of a summer for Gilbert's franchise and reputation.

955. Chicago Bulls

Having your former coach commit grand larceny for your franchise player is never a great place to start.

Da Bulls gave up a top 10-15 player, netting a lot of question marks in return: Lauri Markkanen's recent triumphs at Eurobasket are encouraging, but he's still very much a project. Zach LaVine's entire value hinges on a torn ACL. Kris Dunn is somehow an even worse shooter than last season's Rondo/Carter-Williams point squad.

Hours after the Butler debacle, they literally sold Jordan Bell to the Warriors, which is beginning to look like an extremely stupid decision.

Elsewhere, the Bulls overpaid Cristiano Felicio, while the Cameron Payne deal continues to be awful, adding only more cringe to Chicago's offseason.

928. Doc Rivers 
A respected coach who repeatedly sabotaged himself by making dumb moves as GM, Doc's spotty history in the dual-role finally caught up with him this summer.

Chris Paul forced his way out of town amid trepidation of GM Doc's ineptitude, costing Coach Doc his best player. It proved costly for GM Doc too, as he no longer exists.

901. Indiana Pacers 
Much like the Bulls, were completely robbed of an elite swingman. Despite potentially an even worse return, Indiana was severely handicapped by PG wanting to leave them - and likely any team he was traded to - specifically for the Lakers. It can't be frowned upon quite as much as the Bulls' blunder.

874. Nerlens Noel
Pretty awkward summer for Noel, who had 4 years/$70 million on the table, shunned the contract, sat unclaimed for two months, fired his agent, and finally inked the paltry qualifying offer.

While he's free to roam unrestricted in 2018, an injury-heavy past haunts him as he plays for a long-term deal. He's unlikely to find much better next summer, and the potential downside if he gets hurt again is heavy.

858. The Trade Market for Superstars 
Superstars have become a very tricky asset in NBA trade markets. In such a star-driven league, there seems to be no more ground between "this guy's untouchable, we want a king's ransom" and "we're fucked, the league knows he's leaving and they're lowballing us".

The reverse-leverage created by a superstar's flight risk led to absolute robberies of Jimmy Butler and Paul George, while the Clippers only got a pu-pu platter deluxe for Chris Paul. The Cavs might actually win the Kyrie Irving trade, but only because they miraculously targeted the one good team with the right asset mix.

If you're a shitty franchise with a young superstar (looking your way New Orleans), maybe get the jump on the trade market before your situation's obviousness buries you.

834. Utah Jazz
The Jazz were already a grind-it-out defensive team who finished dead last in team scoring last year. Then their two best offensive players left them. Ricky Rubio's a decent pickup who should mesh well with Derrick Favors and Rudy Gobert, but for their biggest needs - scoring and shooting - he's pretty useless.

815. Patrick Patterson

When you're an established NBA veteran who's been a key role player for a winning franchise, and Cristiano Felicio is suddenly signing for twice as much as you, things need to be re-evaluated.

797. New York Knicks
They shed themselves of Phil Jackson, but the same institutional nightmares remain. They proceeded to sign Tim Hardaway Jr to the summer's most-trolled contract, then had to learn the Porzingis drama they thought they killed with Phil could be alive and well.

778. Atlanta Hawks
Whatever siege the city of Atlanta is waging upon pop culture, the Hawks aren't going to be a part of it. With Paul Millsap now in new threads, ATL's entire "Spurs East" roster has been shed, leaving in its wake the likes of Ersan Ilyasova, Miles Plumlee and Luke Babbitt. (Hooray!). They're in full-on rebuild mode with no foundation players or identity.

764. Cleveland Cavaliers
Not quite as insulting an offseason for Cleveland as its owner, but still mildly disastrous. Sure, they got a good return for Kyrie (assuming Isaiah Thomas' hip stays together). They still had to trade a bonafide superstar, worse yet to the only team in the East that threatens them.

Between the trade, its surrounding drama, the opportunity cost of firing David Griffin, the incessant LeBron exodus talk and Boston's power moves, just a bad scene all around for the Cavs.

741. Dallas Mavericks
Because it's the Mavericks, their plans to sign a free-agent center obviously went horribly awry with the lose-lose Nerlens Noel crisis. They also struck out on other key free agent targets, but pulled another season out of Dirk for the legacy bargain of $5 million.

Dennis Smith could be a killer pickup, however the Mavericks are still several steps behind the rest of the West's perennial basement - the Wolves, Suns, Lakers and, yes, somehow even, the Kings - who at least have multiple assets and/or a long-term plan. They're likely to be leapfrogged by several teams in the standings.

711. New Orleans Pelicans
Took without question the summer's biggest gamble giving Jrue Holiday $125 million, and are still painfully thin around Boogie & Brow. Holiday's potential is capped, and his injury risk is severe, leaving only potential downside to a bloody expensive five-year commitment.

The Pelicans also needed spacing around their superstar big men, proceeding to sign Rajon Rondo and Tony Allen; two the weaker shooters by reputation in the NBA. Don't be shocked if this roster flops and the Cousins trade winds start blowing again.

707. Kyle Lowry
Lowry got shafted by the free agency market again, this time due to the ubiquity of the point guard, suddenly a need for fewer teams than ever. Franchises that had cap space and a point void were slim, forcing Lowry to take a shorter deal as his prime fades.

698. Dwight Howard
Shipped out of yet another city after his negligible impact on their franchise (moreover his hometown team). The Hawks knew they overpaid Howard, cutting him loose after just one season to key their rebuild.

He does still stand to make $23.5 million this year, but it's hard to picture a guy who once punched a teammate in the face putting up with much of Howard's immaturity.

679. Los Angeles Clippers

The Clippers definitely can't be happy about their offseason, but given how bad things turned out for other teams that traded superstars, they can't be too upset either.

The Paul haul (plus Danilo Gallinari) leaves them a balanced rotation, with upside to spare from Montrezl Harrell, Sam Dekker and a first-round pick.

Their main concern will be playmaking, particularly for DeAndre Jordan, who will feel CP3's absence the most. They'll have to succeed with Blake Griffin running a lot of point forward; the Clippers currently deploy Pat Beverley, Austin Rivers and second-round pick Jawun Evans at the one.

661. Brooklyn Nets
The Nets got a little cred towards the end of last season when they started busting ass and playing actual edible basketball. But these were baby steps in a cosmic sense. This team is still two years away from being two years away.

While they wrangled D'Angelo Russell from the offseason waters, they hauled in the whale contracts of Timofey Mozgov and Allen Crabbe. Brooklyn also took on the last two years of DeMarre Carroll's gross deal, all together wasting them just around $100 million through 2018-19.

Stay tuned for Part Two: The Half-Steppers, coming soon.