This Week's Water Cooler

What's up everyone? Sorry I didn't get anything up this weekend; apparently you can't ignore your overdue internet bill forever. I had planned to spend most of yesterday writing a preview for some college tournament that's starting this week, but instead sacrificed about 3 hours of my life to the inefficiency of bank clearances and cable company payment processes. If this is what real life's like then I'm cool just staying in school. That's all straightened out tho and Basketball Banter's back in all its couch-surfing glory for another deep run into the NCAA Tournament. Before we dive into the Madness however, let's take a little breather from our hectic lives and chill out at the Water Cooler:

- First and foremost, the playoff races are close to over. The Ailblazers have finally strung enough healthy bodies together to put some space between themselves and the Western Conference Stragglers. Valiant efforts by the Rockets, Grizzlies and Hornets, who all battled varying degrees of injury and dysfunction to stay in the hunt, but unless the Spurs suffer a memorable meltdown (and as awful as they've been playing, who really believes this will happen?) it's time for a little high-stakes lottery. The East, while not exactly set in stone, seems to be about finished. Despite the best efforts of the Raptors, the Chicago Bulls have been sucking like a Hoover; their best two players injured, their losing streak at 7. Canadian basketball fans had better hope that's enough to seal their fate; at least with a playoff appearance Bosh might agree to a sign and trade.

- Gilbert Arenas managed to sneak out of David Stern's doghouse long enough to scribble a couple-hundred words for Esquire about - what else - what went down with his boy Javaris during that fateful locker-room mishap. His take's kind of funny, in typical Gilbert fashion, and while we can all have a good laugh in hindsight, let's not forget the monumental stupidity of what transpired here. Definitely worth checking out.

Meanwhile, Arenas also announced his intentions to change his number to 6 next season. Was there rampant speculation as to why? Reckless accusations of dishonorable motives? Nobody

seemed to care. Let's keep it that way.

- Speaking of Esquire, this might be one of the best ideas ever. Probably way behind fire but just ahead of the wheel in a historical context. Don't sleep on Adriana Lima out of the 4-seed; I still don't know what she seed in Marko Jaric, but between the massive paycheck and the supermodel wife, dude's a serious contender for Luckiest Man Alive.

- ...And the good news just keeps on coming: the NBA Jam trailer just came out. Looks sick.

- Tracy McGrady: ‘I Know I’m Not Healthy’. Amazing revelations. This is truly compelling stuff.

- The Los Angeles Clippers, speaking realistically about making a run at Lebron this summer (insert requisite punchline here), finally strayed from ineptitude by severing ties with Mike Dunleavy, the man who's become reknowned around the NBA for doing just enough not to get himself fired. Apparently not anymore. Clearly this is a step in the right direction for the Empty Clipps, but counting on them to stagger backwards soon is an even-money bet.

This weekend, the Madness will consume us all. I'll be doing live notes for most of the first round to stay tuned...