Welcome to the Water Cooler

The NBA's an interesting place. Well beyond the game itself, pro basketball culture is inundated with intriguing characters, dilemmas, policies and sub-plots that spark discussion among Hoop Heads, but fly below the radar of the casual fan. Like a box of chocolates (or an acid trip), you never know what you're gonna get with pro basketball players (and the suits that govern them); there's always something banter-worthy happening. So here's the first edition of the Water Cooler; the spot where you can learn all you probably don't need to know about the NBA.

- Dominating headlines for most of last week was the apparent petitioning of the NBA by several contending franchises to bar Cleveland from re-signing Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Their longtime center, as you likely recall, was dealt for Antawn Jamison at the deadline so Washington could buy him out and save some of the money they're not making. This leaves Ilgauskas on the open market, where it widely believed Cleveland will scoop him up after the mandatory 30-day waiting period...I'm still confused about how the League's front office is supposed to intervene here. This isn't some communist regime, it's a very competitive high-stakes game in which teams are clearly going to take every edge they can. The Cavs found a team in a desperate situation and made a deal that, although one-sided in talent, worked for both parties, just like Celtics and Lakers (two of the teams crying foul) did in acquiring Kevin Garnett and Pau Gasol. That they might be able to retain Big Z's services only compounds the move's shrewdness, not by deceit or manipulation, but through a loophole that was equally available to every other franchise out there. So quit bitching about it.

- The League Office did decide to assert itself last week, not in any manner of relevance, but to crush the dreadedly nefarious...um...straw chewing... of new Mavs forward Caron Butler. Yeah. Plastic straws. Caron apparently chewed them on the bench, at a 12/game clip, since his rookie season, to calm his nerves. Given that he'd spent time in solitary as a juvenile offender, this seemed like a relatively passive form of stress management that invaded nobody's space and helped Caron keep his inner Artest at bay. Especially considering that Caron came into the League eight years ago and nobody's bothered to notice until now, this seems unnecessary. Why a League already hemorrhaging money and facing a lockout would want to be an annoying over-bearing parent to its stars is beyond me, but this is ridiculous.

- Once again, Allen Iverson's abbreviated tenure with a franchise will end with him gradually withdrawing himself from the team before bashfully parting ways in a seemingly inevitable resolution. With an ill daughter to care for and the Sixers going nowhere, it's hard to question his decision, but it's even harder to see him back in the NBA in any relevant role. I find myself writing the same thing every couple of months when AI fails to conform to a team concept, but the truth in it grows each time. I'll spare you guys the tirade again, but if this is truly the last we see of Iverson, what a sham it was.

- Speaking of writing the same thing, a friend of mine recently called out my high number of Lebron-related posts, claiming my fandom was creating repetition. While I'll be the first to admit that I built the Lebron Bandwagon and obnoxiously drive it through town honking the horn all the time, I write a lot about Lebron because he's not only the best but (pretty comfortably) the most newsworthy player in the NBA. An isolated example: This past week, Lebron won the Eastern Conference Player of the Month for the 849th time, but all anyone was talking about - on PTI, on internet forums, around actual water coolers - was his formal application to change his number from 23 to 6. Speculation abounded: James made it clear he wanted 23 to be honored as MJ's, but why 6? Was it to honor Dr J, or Bill Russell? Was it to align with his Team USA number? Is it a subliminal goal for MVPs and Championships?...Am I the only person who doesn't give two shits? Let him throw the Prince symbol on his jersey if he wants. When Kobe switched his digits a few years back, some questions were asked but there was nowhere near the media uproar there's been this week, all over something so trivial. If Lebron's involved these days though, a bar mitzvah would be headline news. Anyways, we should remember the man by his game, not his number.

- And finally, a certain sub-par BET reality series has a new co-star. Had no idea this was going on . Congrats, Boobie.