Top 9s: Greatest Facials

The term "facial" has taken on a rather loose meaning since its inception as a pre-Botox cosmetic treatment to smooth wrinkles and cleanse the skin.

Depending on who you ask, it could mean anything from a re-styling from the shoulders-up to an adult film shower on a (potentially) unsuspecting victim.

Ask any basketball fan, and the first thing that comes to mind (other than Tori Black) is a vicious assault on a (potentially) unsuspecting victim of a totally different variety: The Poster Shot.

We pray for it every game we watch: some lumbering lummox to be caught off-guard by an athletic skywalker who's beaten his man and is streaking to the hoop like an Aston on the Autobahn. They put in a valiant effort: defending their team's goal like the last man at the Alamo (ok, enough with the "A" similes), only to wind up permanently seared into our memories and on YouTube (and now, in this blog) as casualties of the Greatest Facials:

...Ok, honesty time, I've spent the last twenty minutes trying to cut some of these out and just can't, so before we get down to the Top 9, here's a rather extensive Honorable Mention: (writing this was basically just an excuse for me to watch a bunch of demoralizing dunks, so I might as well share the experience)

Dwyane Wade on Anderson Varejao

Andy Varejao has had an extremely effective, underrated NBA career. He does all the gritty things that help a team win without demanding touches while always playing his ass off. Parcel and package with this of course, is cagey defense that plays heavily to the refs and has led to many accusations of flopping, or as Varejao puts it, "I don't flop, I Samba". Regardless, the NBA has put rules in place this year to crack down on excessive flopping, but Dwyane Wade seemed to have his own solution years ago: (rule of note: a facial is automatically anywhere between 15-30% better if Marv Albert is commentating)




Kevin Johnson on Hakeem Olajuwon

KJ was always an courageous player; one who battled through early failures in his career and numerous injuries to help lead the Suns to several deep playoff runs as a premiere point guard among a cast that resembled today's talent-packed quarterbacks. Even beyond his playing days, he ran a successful mayoral campaign in Sacramento, and is now fighting the League's bureaucratic bullshit to keep the Kings in town. But perhaps nothing took more ambition than this baseline foray against the greatest shot-blocker of the modern era, that took a surprising turn for Olajuwon.



Taj Gibson on Dwyane Wade

Gibson always had the kind of dynamic, athletic talent that would lend himself well to the evolving NBA game. He can defend multiple positions, score, rebound, and unleash the occasional monster dunk. He was all set to blossom in Chicago as part of an emerging Bulls core, until they dumped Carlos Boozer enough money to buy Western Samoa, forcing Gibson to the bench behind him and Bulls fans to plead for Amnesty. Unfortunately for Dwyane Wade, this also meant that Gibson's frustration mounted every time Boozer would botch a defensive assignment, trot casually by the bench downcourt or force an awkward baseline jumper. He felt the need to deliver not-so-subtle reminders of what he was capable of, and the occasional monster dunk just had that added little something to it.



Lebron James on Kevin Garnett

The Celtics always seemed to have Lebron's number while he was in wine & gold, but even if for one brief moment, he completely and utterly owned them.



Vince Carter on Alonzo Mourning


Vince was always a frustrating player that casually toyed with otherworldly talents and left the fans constantly asking for more: "Why aren't you playing defense?", "Why are you just shooting jumpers all the time?", "Are you actually just not trying until the Raptors trade you?...For real?...Aw, C'mon Mannnnn". His time in New Jersey was par for the course: lots of scoring and All-Star appearances, sparse playoff victories. Even less frequent were his demolitions of elite shot-blockers, which when you witness below, just makes you wonder "Why?".


 Scottie Pippen on Patrick Ewing 

Patrick Ewing had a pretty rough career. He had to deal with the expectation of being the first ever Draft Lottery prize and resurrecting a proud basketball tradition under rabid fans and a raging media. He had to deal with immense pressure. He had to deal with papier-maché knees. He had to deal with Michael Jordan. Well, 1994 came around, and Jordan had dominated Ewing (and everybody else) to the point where he felt basketball had nothing left to offer him, and suddenly there was this window of hope that the Bulls could be beaten. Although they eventually succeeded in toppling their rivals while Jordan was smashing dingers, Scottie Pippen was not about to go down without a fight, as this visceral reminder shows.



Blake Griffin, et al

We've all seen these. We could all stand to again.




9. Tracy  McGrady on Shawn Bradley

No list of Top Facials would be complete without a nod to Shawn Bradley; the human birch tree that seemed to be getting banged on every time we turned around. Of all the abuse Bradley endured over the years, none was more malicious than this particular attack, where Tracy McGrady (perhaps frustrated by his perpetual inability to win a playoff series) displayed emotion for the one time in his career, breaking furiously baseline and riding poor Bradley to the hoop like a pony at the carnival. McGrady didn't make it out of this first round - or any other - but will live on in the annals of NBA cult lore as the guy who did Shawn Bradley the worst.




8. Baron Davis on Andrei Kirilenko

Certain dunks are about so much more than the play itself. Pippen's cram on Ewing encapsulated the intensity of a bitter playoff rivalry, compacting all the emotion of an entire series' aura into a single play that perfectly defined it. Consider this the 2K remix: the Warriors were a brash, loud, free-wheeling team that played like they were defending home court at Venice Beach and had just rode their aggressive swagger to an upset of the #1-seeded defending champs that drove the Bay Area into a completely ballistic frenzy. Laying in their path was a boring team of mostly white dudes from a city of Mormons, who were for some reason called the Jazz. Shit was about to go down. (note the "Sound Level Meter" not only existing, but hitting 100+)

 
 7. Corey Brewer on Derek Fisher

Thoughts going through Derek Fisher's head as he collects himself from the basket support: (in order)
"Am I dead?"
"Let's never try that again."
"Maybe I should remove SportsCenter from Tivo record..."
 
  6. Dominique Wilkins on Larry Bird

Borrowed from Bill Simmons' epic The Book of Basketball : "During the '87 season, Larry Legend made the mistake of challenging 'Nique on a fast break and got dunked on so violently that the momentum sent him sprawling into the basket support like he had been struck by a car. This nearly caused a bigger Atlanta riot than the bomb that spoiled the '96 Olympics. People went berserk. they almost charged the court."


5. Kobe Bryant on Dwight Howard

The announcers make reference to Kobe's foot being hurt, but the only thing ailing after this crowning was Dwight's ego.

4. Tom Chambers on Mark Jackson
So many things are awesome about this dunk:

- Tom Chambers is an anglo-saxon, and therefore not one you'd expect to do something like this
- Tom Chambers looks like a supporting character from an 80's action movie
- Tom Chambers found a glitch in the Law of Gravity, and humbly chose not to accept his Nobel Prize
- Most of you have probably never heard of Tom Chambers
 
3. Michael Jordan on Patrick Ewing
No single play better epitomizes Jordan's oppressive dominance of the Knicks than this hallowed murking from the '91 ECF that set professional basketball in New York back far enough that it hasn't recovered yet. The Knicks threw everything they could at Jordan, and he was just too fucking good. Ewing was brave in his efforts to protect the hoop with all his knees would give him, but as was so often the case with MJ, resistance was futile. Poor old Patrick hadn't even been served by Scottie yet.
2. Shawn Kemp on the Golden State Warriors

Before cocaine, alcohol, Jim McIlvaine's contract and pro basketball in Cleveland turned him into a whale among men, Shawn Kemp was the most feared high-flying assassin in the NBA, routinely humbling those who dared to step between him and an NBA Jam moment. Things got particularly devastating in the '92 playoffs for the front line of the Golden State Warriors; first Kemp set a still-standing professional basketball record by being the only player to cram an opponent hard enough to get props from him (as Chris Gatling obliged). But the respect didn't seem to be enough, as that was only a set-up for the immortal Lister Blister.







1. Vince Carter over Frederic Weis

You all knew this was going to be here. Really, it's just beyond words ("He jumped over his HEAD!"), so enjoy the French commentary. And the view.

Top 9s - Show and Prove

Welcome to Banter's newest feature: Top 9s.

The temptation to rank players, teams, events, dunks, plays or whatever else is almost inescapable for anyone with a brain and an opinion. I also happen to have an outlet, a boredom problem, and suffer from separation anxiety between early June and late October, so I figured having some rankings on here to pass time and spark discussion every now and then wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Why the Top 9? Well, it's just a 9.

Coming into every NBA season, there's players with something to prove: a spot in the NBA to secure, a starting job to battle for, a contract year to put on for. But some stakes are even higher; reputations, legacies: historical shit, not only for the players themselves, but sometimes they carry the weight of entire franchises and the expectations of countless fans on their shoulders. This adds another compelling layer to the NBA's dynamic story and lets us see who's truly made of fire underneath it all. So without further ado, the first edition of Top 9s: The Most to Prove This Season

9. Jeremy Lin

Seems like a logical place to start. Lin's flash in the pan last season caught the NBA's entire stove on fire and made a World-wide celebrity of a player who was out of work just weeks earlier. His controversial offseason departure from the team he'd briefly resurrected - something about a grown billionaire holding an insecure grudge like an 11 year-old girl - not only landed him on a new squad suddenly bereft of talent, but promised to make him a very rich man relative to his NBA accomplishments. We've seen plenty of guys go on tears for crappy teams and disappear before (the name Ronald Murray comes to mind) but Lin flipped the script involuntarily. When Houston inked him that back-loaded offer sheet, they promised to make him a poster boy for the League's spending issues, but when James Dolan felt spited and refused to match (which was just monumentally stupid. I know it's a lot of money, but this guy just made your team over twice the amount you're going to pay him over the next three years. In two months. Get over yourself.) Lin became a focal point of whatever the hell Houston's got going on this season. If he keeps up his level of play from last season, he'll easily be the best player on their team, put talks of his contract to rest, and ensure James Dolan get less of it. But it's that "if" part that has everyone wondering...

8. Zach Randolph

Last season was an absolute disaster for the Grizzlies. They came into 2012 with serious playoff ambitions for the first time in their franchise's history, and Randolph was being celebrated as the NBA's most lethal low-post threat. Well, Z-Bo tore his MCL and missed 37 games, throwing Memphis' season into a flux that set a dubious record along the way to putting the words "playoff disappointment" in a Grizzlies fan's vocabulary. After returning, Randolph wasn't his same self. Part of this was due to Memphis' inability to align him offensively with Rudy Gay, but also that Randolph tends to put on a rather convincing Yokozuna impersonation when sedentary. The months on the shelf made it harder to regain his form, being rushed back into the lineup in time for the playoffs. Reports from apparently reliable sources point to Randolph now being fully healed from the injury, and carrying around several less pounds than last year, which is sure to be easier on his legs. He'll have to be healthy and motivated to re-assert himself on the level he did in 2011, which the Grizzlies need wholly if they want to get back on the right end of playoff dream-crashing.

7. Deron Williams

Time was, a lot of people in the know considered Deron Williams the best point guard in the NBA. "Time" seems like an eternity ago, but this "was" around 2009 and since then, not only has the League's overall point guard talent blown up like the Gangnam Style video, but Williams has spent time on some very questionable teams, not to mention the wrong end of a feud that apparently ended Jerry Sloan's career (seriously, we're talking a 23-year tenure in a field where the average life expectancy of a position is worse than a hemophiliac wrapped in barbed wire in a shark tank - must've been some deep shit). Now that the Nets have found a new home with Deron locked into a long-term deal, they can start to build towards the lofty goals their celebrated owner has set for them, with Williams steering the ship. A lot of eyes will be on Brooklyn; they've been much-ballyhooed over everything from their flashy new arena, to their owner's ambitious 5-year title plan, to their attempt to resurrect a borough and revitalize The Mecca's basketball scene. And I also remember reading somewhere that Jay-Z's involved with the team apparently? Sounds cool. With the ante as high as it possibly could be for a team in a new city, a lot of it will rest of D-Will's shoulders after Dwight didn't happen and the team overpaid for the rest of its roster. If ever there was a time to boldly re-claim his status on the shaky PG totem pole, it's now.

6. Kobe Bryant

Regardless of how much he accomplishes in his storied career, Kobe's more or less a formality on this list. He's spent the past 15 years cultivating a niche as by far the most polarizing figure in the NBA (you hear that so much it becomes trite) by giving puritans, underdogs and most casual fans every reason to hate him, while spellbinding others with undeniable talent, bulletproof work ethic, and an indomitable love for the game. This season is the same story: coming off an inevitably-much-scrutinized 6th place showing in ESPN's #NBArank, Bryant will have to adjust his Bieber-like usage rate from last season and mesh his offensive tyranny with the Lakers' new arrivals if they hope to live up to the hype surrounding them. As his legacy would dictate, most of the skeptics' questions surround his role: "Will Kobe be OK with Nash controlling the tempo?", "How's he going to react when his shots get cut in half?", "Is the Staples Center locker room big enough for his and Dwight's ego?", "He's not the man anymore. He won't like it." But, as is perpetually the case with Kobe, no matter how he addresses these issues this season, you can count on there being more for him to face.

5. James Harden
In most cases, having a career year where you exceeded lofty expectations and won the 6th Man of the Year award would put you far away from having anything to prove. I use the word "you" because, unless you're James Harden, this hasn't happened to you. Setting the tone for this contradiction was Small Game James's complete dud of a Finals: put bluntly, he played by far his worst ball of the season when it mattered the most. As if that weren't enough, he spent the offseason watching free agents get thrown money like GMs were drunken, insecure recent Bellagio jackpot winners at the Spearmint Rhino, and demanded his own max money, driving a very awkward curveball into the Thunder's long-lingering long-term financial dilemma. Playing in a small market, with two max deals already on their roster (at least they extended Ibaka before he played himself into that conversation) Harden's threatened a divide in Sam Presti's plan to keep this young core together. He's currently a fringe max player at best (at least in anything even vaguely resembling a sustainable economic model) and Presti could get heaps in return from a team more able fork over the money Small Game James is seeking. The future of the Thunder's composition could very well lie on Harden's play this season, and whether he proves himself too valuable to lose.

4. Roy Hibbert

As you've probably figured out by now, the words "max deal" are being tossed around the NBA these days like "swag" and "YOLO" are by hip-hop wannabes, nowhere more evident than in Indiana, where ascribed All-Star Hibbert (who for argument's sake posted career bests of 12.8/8.8 last year, offering a defensive presence that, while valuable, was at-most 4th best among East centers) will be raking in as much money as he possibly can next season. The obvious questions are 1. "Does he deserve it?" and more importantly, 2. "Does this completely screw over the Pacers?" Neither can really be answered right now, because Hibbert is still only 25, has improved very dramatically over the past two years, and from all skills, conditioning, and attitude perspectives seems bound to continue. But the Pacers aren't prime candidates to bite the luxury tax bullet, and now have a ton of money tied up in Hibbert, while having made no significant upgrades this offseason. This means it'll up to guys like breakout-ready Paul George, and more so the dude this paragraph's about, to take Indiana further in a conference where they almost beat the NBA champs last spring, but have seemingly regressed against the competition up top.

3. John Wall
It was all too good to be true. Wall showed almost too much potential, his athletic ability was so far ahead of its time when he was drafted. He was Derrick Rose, only faster end-to-end; a perfect palette with which to paint a legendary point guard. Something had to go wrong. Enter the Washington Wizards. Enter Andray Blatche. Enter Nick Young. Enter Javale McGee. Rather than let his quarterbacking talents blossom, Wall was a relative daycare employee, and after a promising rookie campaign, hit a serious sophomore slump last season. Fortunately for him, the headaches appear to be gone; the immature mess that once marred the Wiz's roster has been replaced by stable veterans down low, and given way to another promising young gun (3rd pick Bradley Beal) to share Wall's backcourt. All the pieces appear to be in place for him to get back on the path to superstardom, but sometimes it's the immense amount of talent that's so difficult to harness. John Wall has all the potential in the World, but along with the possibilities, comes the potential for so much to go wrong.

2. Carmelo Anthony
Carmelo Anthony and Lebron James have been on very contrasting NBA journeys since their once-storied rivalry as high school and NBA rookie phenoms. Their stories met again this past year, linking up as Olympic teammates and putting on clinics as the US took the expected Gold. They face yet another indirect crossing as they return: in the same season James took himself from clear first to dead last (as in the entire League) on this list, Melo's inability to win became a popular topic among hoops pundits who wondered if he'd ever make the leap from hardcourt gunner to transcendent winner; be the Slim Charles of the NBA game (he's from B-More after all). Now almost a decade into his career with 0 Finals appearances under his belt, Anthony will be under the microscope like never before; his Olympic outbursts and triumph are fresh in everyone's minds, but we've all known he was a World-class scorer from Day One. What remains to be seen is everything else: Can he defend? Can he defer? Can he make those around him better? And, obviously, Can he win? Your move, Melo.

1. Dwight Howard
I'm sorta out of words at this point, not because I have a hard time justifying this slot or had a Writer's Block dropped on me, but there's really nothing more to be said about Dwight Howard that hasn't over the past 18 months. To sum things up for anyone who might be a new NBA fan or is simply nauseous from all the bullshit: Howard demanded a trade from Orlando, publicly denied it, then publicly confirmed, then denied it again (shit, who even really knows), mailed in all of last season, got his coach fired, attempted to model the team in his own image, got his GM fired when that didn't work, all the while acting immaturely in the media and with a lack of transparency that sabotaged his team's ability to move him effectively, so that when they ultimately were forced to, they got completely and utterly shafted. To say that he's humiliated the NBA would be a minor understatement, surely substantiating every negative stereotype about professional athletes held by the conservative public. The bad news for Dwight is that he's got a lot of making-up to do in the eyes of basketball fans. The good news for Dwight is that he landed in the proverbial Pot of (Purple and) Gold at the end of this shit-rainbow: he's on a team that's seriously threatening to take the NBA by storm, and as still the most dominant center in the League, he'll be right in the eye of it. Cue up "All Eyez on Me" and enjoy your season. 

Banter's 2012-13 NBA Preview: NHL Lockout Edition!

It's about that time. And it couldn't be coming soon enough.

With the NHL mired in another lockout, a bunch of French mimes masquerading as NFL officials, and the MLB playoffs again perpetually boring everyone, the NBA approaches its first full season under the new collective bargaining agreement (could've put 'CBA' I guess, just trying to avoid the 100th acronym in this sentence). Spared a two-month moratorium, and endless cliché 'Best Christmas Gift Ever!!' Facebook statuses, hoop-heads everywhere are bustling; prepping fantasy leagues, laying predictions and bets, ordering League Pass, taking their team's jersey to the cleaners, and getting set for the show. With only a week or so 'til training camps open, it's time for Banter's 2012-13 Season Preview:

Just as The Avengers was crushing the Box Office, the Lakers (as they tend to do) assembled their own blockbuster legion of superstars in Hollywood, in a completely movie-script fashion; convincing their once-and-probably-still bitter rivals to hand them their once-and-probably-still-close-to MVP, then ending the Dwight InDecision saga that had plagued the NBA for eons, flipping Andrew Bynum into his only possible upgrade (that Orlando somehow didn't manage to get Bynum back in the deal is a rant for another time...). Talk about your GM of the Year bids.

This uprising clearly stole the offseason - everything from headlines to the opposition's plans - and has potentially snuffed the momentum of the small-ball trend sparked by Miami's recent bid to form a dynasty without a dominant center (or Michael Jordan) for the first time in NBA history. These 'trades' (I envision something more closely resembling the electrocution scene from Taken with Mitch Kupchak playing Liam Neeson and Rob Hennigan the helpless Albanian as he reluctantly agrees to send Bynum to Philadelphia) couldn't have come at a better time for the seemingly-dead Lakers. Their perimeter speed on D is no longer an issue; Howard has that kind of deterrent effect on penetration that the US government likes to think the death penalty has on crime. Mike Brown can end his embarrassing charade as an offensive co-ordinator; he has one running his point. Metta World Peace, or whatever his name will be by opening night, will no longer have the touches to launch up his 'Little Engine That Could' 3-point bombs, and Pau Gasol will finally have the balance of Nash's friendly locker room presence and on-court generosity to Kobe's, well, exact opposite of those. Their depth issues are evident, but by the time the Trade Deadline and veteran signings pass, this team is sure to be a few spots safer, and can cruise through the regular season to a Top-4 seed even if they're not completely healthy. It'll be interesting, and entertaining (really, it wasn't enough that Chris Paul and Blake Griffin landed on the same team, but now we get Nash and Howard too?) to see how it unfolds, but the plot just thickened considerably.

Miami also made a big splash; seeing obvious room to improve in the afterglow of their title parade, they addressed their most basic need - find good distance shooters to knock down the open looks Lebron and Wade create and space the floor (keep in mind, this was prior to 'defend Dwight Howard on a serious contender' being a basic need) - by picking up a very good long-range assassin, and in a completely unrelated case, the greatest one ever. With Bosh and Lebron more comfortable as post players, they're making a very bold case to live up to that ridiculous Welcome Party (I'd link to YouTube but it's too painful to watch and think "These guys are the NBA Champions") and truly make their mark.

Brooklyn's new team will be breaking in the Barclay Center with a somewhat-intriguing look. Though they fanned on Howard, keeping Deron Williams was huge, adding Joe Johnson was an expensive improvement (keep in mind who owns them and how he tips luxury tax money to bathroom attendants), and having Brook Lopez as your center isn't the worst thing in the World when the guy beside him in the post grabs 11 rebounds/game.

The Knicks meanwhile, have conveniently agreed to further their team's role as media spectacle, by hosting an NBATV reality show aimed at reviving the careers of aging stars like every other celebrity reality TV disaster. "Be Our Backup Center" will star Marcus Camby, Kurt Thomas, and most amusingly Rasheed Wallace, in a bid to selfishly compete for shine on a middling playoff team. Coming off a tour as a heroic gunner in the Olympics, Melo's sure to be as trigger-happy as ever, which will surely set the tone for the Knicks as they struggle with the media and Eastern lottery teams, while trying to get over the fact that Jeremy Lin no longer plays for them. Did I mention they're trying to hire Isiah Thomas again? Stay tuned.

There's also a big buzz around New Orleans lately (sorry, too easy), with the arrival of the Unibrow and all his promise - not potential - promise. Adding the hungry, talented, and poised Austin Rivers (nothing says 'NBA-Ready' like a kid raised by someone who's spent the last 30 years deeply involved in it) is big, holding onto Eric Gordon is bigger, and forgotten in their wake is Ryan Anderson, and the noted absence of Rashard Lewis' contract. If you're a Conspiracy Theorist, you probably think the fix is on as a "thanks for taking this team off our hands" gift from the NBA. But everyone else is laughing at you. 

The Big Losers this offseason had to be the Mavs, who gambled their title defense on a shot at Dwight and Deron, came up with Chris and Darren, and despite Mark Cuban's attempts to validate their offseason, have a carton of eggs on their face for not just paying Tyson Chandler. This team looks even less likely to succeed than the Mavs team that won it all against all odds, and Dirk's window may have shut. The only real positive from their offseason is that Khloe Kardashian got to move back to Los Angeles. 

So how's it all going to play out? Here's my predictions so they can blow up in my face:

MVP - Lebron James: This is just kind of obvious. The things preventing James from winning this award, in order of ascending likelihood: 1. Lebron getting injured 2. Kevin Durant going on a complete rampage 3. The voters getting bored and giving it to someone else on principle. 

Sleepers: Kevin Durant, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul

ROY - Anthony Davis: Also kind of obvious. Jonas Valanciunas will be a nice addition for the Raptors, but Davis has too complete and polished a game already to not command this award's favoritism. He has the #1 pedigree, all the opportunity to shine he desires, and is coming off a summer with the best players in the World. His to lose. 

Sleepers: Jonas Valanciunas, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Damian Lillard

DPOY - Dwight Howard: If Howard was ever motivated to be nasty, then this is the time. Already by far the best defensive big in the League, he now has the best team he's ever played on (also one that will rely on him for plenty of help) and he finally realizes the entire country hates him. I'd hate to see him angry...

Sleepers: Lebron James, Tyson Chandler, Rajon Rondo

COY - Doug Collins: This award's nature sort of defies prediction - it tends to go to coaches who overcame adversity or performed unexpectedly well, so Collins seems like a safe bet: a steady hand with a knack for developing talent, at the helm of a young team that's been poised for a big jump, and just happened to have stumbled into Andrew Bynum, who appears ready to blow up, which leads me to:

MIP - Andrew Bynum: This sometimes-zany, sometimes-outright-dominant beast of a young man has spent a couple seasons flirting with brilliance, but lacked the consistent touches and autonomy his game needed to truly thrive with the Lakers. In Philly, he'll clearly be The Man on a team that's wondered whose theirs was since Iverson left. As if Bynum shouldn't be comfortable enough in his new surroundings, Howard and Andrew Bogut - formerly two of the East's three best defensive bigs - are in new threads, and the opportunities for him to ruin the opposition should be plenty.
Sleepers: Javale McGee, Goran Dragic, Nikola Vucevic (or at least Rob Hennigan had better hope so)

6MOY - Antawn Jamison: James Harden's officially ineligible. Anyone who's already won this award and is consequently seeking a Max deal doesn't need the validation again. Jamison on the other hand, has spent years going hard for crappy teams since copping this trophy with Dallas almost a decade ago, and now back on a contender (as if his half-season with the Cavs counted), will be the focal point of a bench that looks thinner than half the Lakers Girls' waistlines. He'll be counted on for consistent scoring and help on the glass, and will be the beneficiary of plenty of attention lapses on D with as many as four superstars surrounding him.  I'd be willing to wager he's at least somewhat rejuvenated by finally being rescued from the Lottery and has at least this much left in the tank.
Sleepers: Dorrell Wright, Grant Hill, whoever loses the Hawks' starting PG battle

Eastern Conference                   Western Conference

1. Miami Heat                           1. Los Angeles Lakers          
2. Chicago Bulls                        2. Oklahoma City Thunder
3. Indiana Pacers                       3. San Antonio Spurs 

4. Boston Celtics                       4. Memphis Grizzlies                      East Finals: Heat over Bulls

5. Philadelphia 76ers                 5. Los Angeles Clippers

6. Atlanta Hawks                      6. Denver Nuggets                       West Finals: Lakers over Thunder

7. New York Knicks                 7. Minnesota Timberwolves

8. Brooklyn Nets                       8. Dallas Mavericks                       NBA Finals: Lakers over Heat

9. Toronto Raptors                    9. Utah Jazz

10. Milwaukee Bucks                10. Golden State Warriors

11. Cleveland Cavaliers             11. Houston Rockets

12. Washington Wizards            12. New Orleans Hornets

13. Detroit Pistons                     13. Portland Trailblazers 

14. Orlando Magic                    14. Sacramento Kings

15. Charlotte Bobcats                15. Phoenix Suns

Ultimately, I just can't see the Heat stopping the Lakers. I've heard lot of people this summer point to 2004's acquisition of Karl Malone and Gary Payton as evidence that this doesn't guarantee success. I've mocked those people. At the time, Malone and Payton were beached whales at the tail-end of their careers, below an All-Star level of play, latching on to two superstars whose several-year feud was about to hit a boiling point. Nash is a consensus top-20 player and perhaps the ideal quarterback for a team of All-Stars, Howard's in the thick of his physical prime and has been the most dominant center in the NBA for years, and while Bryant and Gasol have never been the best of friends, their synergy as teammates has never driven Pau to publicly ask Kobe how his ass tastes in a freestyle diss. Depth aside, Kupchak still has a few months to fill out the roster, and with this kind of talent, going 9 deep won't be necessary. Their talent is comparable to Miami's, and much more well-rounded, so I don't see South Beach hosting another parade next June.

That being said, predictions are a fraction of any picture; watching it all take form is the best part. The  Raptors touch down in my hometown of Halifax next week for training camp; as direct a sign as any that the NBA season's upon us. I hope you all enjoy the next eight months as much as I will; God bless the NHL Lockout. 

USA vs. Spain: Live from Barcelona!

Let's get right into it: here's Part 2 of Banter correspondent Alex Livingston's live reports from the Team USA Olympic tune-ups in Barcelona...


As amped as I was about seeing USA take on a feisty Argentinian squad, I was even more excited to see them take on a more polished and talented Spanish team, featuring the Gasol brothers, Jose Calderon, and Serge Ibaka. I had a better seat, and was anticipating a raucous crowd on hand to support the home team. I was not disappointed. 


Now with full knowledge of the no-beer rule (which the poor 45 year old Floridians behind me in line at the concession stand for 15 minutes at halftime were not aware of), I prepared in advance with a few cold ones during my early evening session of texas hold'em. Eventually clubs started to look like spades, straights like full houses, and I decided it was time to head to the venue of Palau St Jordi.


I arrived at the game 30 minutes prior to tip-off, and there was already tremendous energy rippling through the crowd. Various pro-Spain chants and songs were breaking out from all angles. I was seated next to an extremely friendly couple from Madrid, who had made the 3 hour journey to see the game. I got into a friendly but spirited argument with the husband, Aflredo, about who the best player in the league is. He claimed it was Durant (who he, like all Spaniards, pronounced "Doooorahnn. "Bryant was pronounced "Brian", and my favourite, Melo was pronounced "Antoni"). I was of course defending my position of Bismack Biyombo being #1 in the league. Eventually, after polling nearby audience members and reaching a split decision, we agreed to disagree, and it was time for the player introductions.


I was interested to see if the Spaniards, who had cheered for every member of both the USA and Argentina two nights prior, would cheer or boo the American players. While there was a scattering of boos from the most diehard patriots, the American players were mostly received well. The Spanish players were of course given a raucous applause, with Pau receiving the biggest of them all. (Side note: one thing I'd noticed during the warmup was that Pau's jersey said "GASOL" on the back, while Marc's said "MARC." I wonder if this is an older brother status thing, or if Marc had had the more illustrious career thus far, he'd get the honour of wearing his team's last name).


After the intros, the crowd collectively survived a pathetic rendition of the national anthems and it was time for tip-off. Pau won the tip but the Spaniards missed a shot and Chris Paul ended up draining a pure 3 on the ensuing possession for the first points of the game. The Spaniards then went on a 10-0 run, spurred largely by the impressive mid-range jump shooting of Serge Ibaka. They were also assisted by several dubious travel calls against team USA in the early minutes. One thing I noticed in both games is that refs are much more liberal with calling travels; it's possible that they are doing it correctly here and we are just so used to the NBA letting things slide. In any event, Lebron was not happy.


At this point, Coach Krzyzewski (how on earth this name is pronounced "Sha-shef-ski is beyond me) called a timeout, in an effort to regroup his troops. I was going to write a paragraph in the Argentina game about how I felt Carmelo Anthony didn't belong on team USA. My thinking was that on a team so stacked with individual superstars, someone with Melo's selfishness and shoot-first mentality could be better replaced by a role player who played good defense and didn't demand the ball. Boy am I glad that I didn't publish that worthless drivel.


Melo went on an absolute tear after the timeout, starting with draining a tough contested 3, stealing the ball on the defensive end, and draining a wide open 3. He went on to finish with a sensational 23 points in the first half, despite coming off the bench in a game with 10 minute quarters. Still, the Spaniards maintained a lead thanks to a nice 1-2 frontcourt punch of Pau and Ibaka. The two subbed for each other fairly regularly, but also shared some minutes.


Kevin Love was inserted in the game late in the first quarter, which was a nice adjustment by Coach K to counter the size of the Spaniards. The first quarter ended with Melo and Ibaka trading baskets, with Ibaka looking like a 2004 KG, blocking shots, getting rebounds, and displaying a very nice mid-range jumper. By the end of the 1st quarter, the US had cut nicely into the Spanish lead, and were down 23-21.


Early in the 2nd quarter, Lebron nailed a dagger 3 pointer to give the US their first lead since it was 3-0. James Harden was inserted into the lineup midway through the 2nd, putting all four Thunder players on the court at once. As with the previous game, one of the most impressive things about Lebron was his passing and court vision, and he went cross court to a hot Carmelo Anthony for 3 to put the US up 8 with 3 minutes to play in the half. 


Melo continued to show, as he had in the first game, that there wasn't a shot he didn't like. Luckily, this game he was nailing everything, and the Americans lead was growing. With two minutes to go in the game, Kobe had the play of the game so far with an explosive dunk over a Spanish player, bringing the crowd to their feet. Once again, and especially for Kobe, the crowd was willing to cheer for the great Team USA plays, even if they were decisively pro-Spain. With the quarter winding down, Ibaka got called with a questionable goaltend, which was booed heavily by the crowd. Thanks to Melo's 3 and a very solid all-around half by Lebron, the US was up by 13 at the intermission.


Marc Gasol hadn't played any minutes by halftime and (spoiler alert) he didn't play any minutes all game. This was definitely a disappointment because he's probably my favourite member of Team Spain, and definitely my favourite Gasol. However he's recovering from some injuries, and the team is understandably trying to make sure he's healthy for the Olympics.


At halftime, fans were treated to an array of impressive trampoline dunks by a team of kids who looked no older than 16. Leaping 13-15 feet in the air off the trampolines, doing double flips, jumping over 3 people standing on top of each other, these kids were bringing out every trick in the books, and it was quite entertaining. By contrast, most of the other entertainment during intermissions and timeouts was very poor compared to NBA standards. A particularly cringeworthy segment featured the DriveCam, sponsored by some small European car company. If you see yourself on the big screen, you're supposed to imitate yourself driving a car. For some reason, the Spanish fans seemed to soak in this segment. Must be a cultural thing.


Eventually the buzzer sounded and it was time to resume the game. The 2nd half started with the US extending their lead thanks to two huge dunks from Lebron on consecutive offensive possessions. One thing I should've mentioned in the last write-up was the energetic play of Russell Westbrook. Probably the quickest player on the floor, he also played both games with the enthusiasm and intensity level you'd expect in an NBA playoff game. Midway through the 3rd, Westbrook put on a basketball skills clinic, starting by crossing over Calderon, deking around the rest of Team Spain, and putting in a reverse lay-up AND ONE. He followed that up by successfully gambling on a steal early in Spain's next possession, and running down the floor for a thunderous dunk.


At this point, the US was up 19, and Spain called a time-out. Here I began to reflect a bit on the difference between the two games. One thing that came to mind is that Spain lacked a clear leader. Neither Ibaka nor Pau, though both terrific players, possess particularly strong leadership qualities. Two nights prior, the Argentinians had kept the game close thanks to the leadership of Ginobli and Scola, both on the court, and in the huddles. Of the three teams I saw, I'd say Argentina had by far the most team chemistry. 


The main reason this game was turning into a blowout, though, was that the US was playing fantastic team basketball. There were moments in the first game where Lebron, Kobe, and several others, appeared too casual. There was none of that in this game. The stakes were higher, and it showed, as everyone on Team USA was playing with great energy, and the team's sensational offensive talents were coexisting harmoniously.


With 3 minutes left in the third quarter and his team up 20, Westbrook scrambled for a loose ball that eventually got away from him. Even with the outcome of the game barely in question, and having put forth a valiant effort to grab the ball, he was visibly upset with himself for not completing the play. You have to admire what a warrior this guy is. With the quarter winding down, Victor Claver, who was solid all game for the Spaniards, scored a couple quick 3s to keep the Spaniards in it. They finished the quarter down 14.


Just as Melo had dominated the first half, Lebron dominated the final quarter of the game. At one point he jumped what looked like 4 or 5 feet in the air to grab a loose ball over Pau and Ibaka. It's pretty cool that Lebron's strength, leaping ability, and athleticism makes him appear just as tall as Pau on the court. 


Halfway through the fourth quarter, Kevin Love had an impressive possession where, despite being well defended, he grabbed his own offensive rebound 3 times in the same play, before ultimately getting the fingerroll to go. This was followed by two quick 3s from Lebron, and with 4 minutes to go and the US up 23, the game was over.


At this point, much to the delight of the fans, Anthony Davis got his first minutes as a member of Team USA. He didn't score, but he did have a sensational block that was easily a top-5 play of the game. It's easy to see that this guy can be a superstar in the league if he bulks up. As the final seconds ticked off the clock, I was somewhat disappointed that the game was a blowout, but also happy to have seen another display of phenomenal basketball talent. 


The last thing I was wondering was who would win Player of the Game. In my mind, the two candidates were Lebron, who had a great all around game, led the team in assists, and scored 25 points, or Melo, who was almost single-handedly responsible for giving his team a sizeable halftime advantage. In the end, the two ended up earning co-MVP honours. 


I thought that was a classy move by whoever was responsible, and it (coupled with the cheering for plays by both teams) also somewhat illustrates the difference between the two countries. While the US is obsessed with individual success and the American dream (see: F. Scott Fitzgerald), Spain, like much of Europe, is more focused on the overall success and happiness of their society. Certainly a simplification, and perhaps a stretch of an analogy, but it was the first thing that came to mind.


Maybe the biggest thing I took away from those two games: Lebron James is a freak of nature. Seeing him live, you really appreciate all the little things he does in a game, and realize what an incredibly versatile player he is. Seeing those two games was an incredible experience, and an extremely rare one. The only other time to see so much talent on the court at once is during the all-star game, which is a largely fan driven, offensive minded affair. These games were hard fought, competitive basketball games, with players competing not only for themselves and their team, but for their country. 


Hopefully Alfredo isn't too bitter about his country's loss to email me those photos he took, and I'll be able to remember the games for years to come.


Awesome stuff Alex. Stay tuned to Banter next week for a breakdown of this year's ridiculous offseason shenanigans. 

Banter: Live From Barcelona!

Banter's gone International; After a private meeting with David Stern, I managed to secure media credentials for the Olympic tune-ups in Spain and sent my best reporter on the first red-eye out to cover the action...

Jokes aside, my good friend and fellow hoop head Alex Livingston found himself in Barcelona by chance during these "friendlies", and has generously agreed to cover them for Banter, offering a rarely-seen live glimpse of top-notch International play...lest there be a need to mention the Dream Team-esque assembly of talent on the USA roster.

His first recap, from the USA/Argentina tilt a couple nights ago, offers an eclectic look at the international game from the perspective of a seasoned NBA fan seeing his first game abroad, but the real goods are yet to come: Alex has better seats for what's sure to be as intense an exhibition game as could exist; tonight's USA/Spain likely Gold Medal-preview in front of an (albeit sober) hyped Barcelona crowd. 

I'll have that recap up for you guys soon as I can, but for now, enjoy Part 1, and much thanks to Alex for taking the time to share this with us. Without further ado....

I'm in Barcelona for 2 weeks, playing poker, enjoying the beach, and exploring the city. As I was surfing Facebook late Saturday night, after a long day of poker, I stumbled across some pictures on my newsfeed of Team USA players arriving at the Barcelona airport. Having thought the team was in London with the Olympics set to get underway soon, I was confused but decided to explore further. Lucky I did; turns out team USA is in town for 2 warm-up exhibition games vs Argentina an Spain. Thirty minutes later I had a ticket to the game vs Argentina. 

I've been fortunate enough to attend my fair share of NBA games in my life - 17 games in 7 cities if my count is correct. I've seen several high profile games, including a LAC-MEM playoff game this year, and 1 NBA Finals game (ironically the worst game I've been to, LA-BOS game 6, 2010). Nonetheless, until last night I hadn't yet seen the great Kevin Durant play. Nor had I seen that other guy who's better than him. So needless to say, I was pretty pumped about the opportunity to see a team assembled of the best players in the world take on Manu Ginobli, Luis Scola, and a scattered assortment of Argentinians for the low cost of 35 euros.

I attended the game solo and arrived early, planning on having a couple of beers and getting situated in the arena. Upon arrival, I was horrified to discover that there is a nationwide law prohibiting the sale of alcohol at sporting events. For a country that allows drinking on the streets and bullfighting, I found this extremely baffling. Cursing Jermaine O'Neal and Ron Artest, I strolled towards my seats, in search of some entertainment. I immediately noticed that not only were many of the Spanish fans were donning jerseys, but a lot of the jerseys were of random NBA players not on team USA.

I eventually decided to see how many different jerseys I could identify scattered in the crowd. The most common jerseys were (in order) Kobe, Lebron, MJ, Gasol. Other jerseys I saw included: Durant, Melo, Rondo, Blake, Calderon, D-Rose, Kidd, Duncan, Ginobli, Dwight, Fernandez, Garnett, Pierce, Ray Allen, and Westbrook, Nowitzki, Monta, D-Wade, Jennings, Noah, and Anthony Davis. Easily the most obscure jersey I saw was a vintage NJ Nets Shawn Bradley.

When the USA players arrived on the court to warmup, the crowd went absolutely nuts. Each player (not just starters) was introduced by the announcer. Kobe drew by far the loudest ovation, but every team USA player and every Argentinian NBAer received a healthy applause. Argentinian non-NBAers received a faint golf clap. Both national anthems were played and it was time for tip-off.

Tyson Chandler won the tip and Kevin Durant scored the first basket of the game, an easy mid-range jumper. The US got off to a blazing start, and after 4 minutes of play, were up 19-3, with Durant and Kobe accounting for all of USA's points. Argentina was simply too slow and unathletic to stop the US, and too small and soft to generate any offense on the inside. 

It looked like Argentina was going to get pummelled the way the Shambala School did when it faced H.G.S. in the ACIS soccer tournament. However, Argentina called a timeout and regrouped. The most impressive player for either team in the first half: Luis Scola. Scola led an Argentinian charge for the rest of the half, getting to the rim, drawing fouls, fighting for rebounds, and inspiring a more concerted effort from his teammates. Meanwhile, the US seemed content to hang onto their big lead.

With about 3 minutes to go in the first half, Scola and Lebron (who had been quiet thus far) got into a confrontation that turned physical for a second. The two started shoving each other, and for a second it looked like it might escalate, but teammates quickly intervened. I was surprised to see something like that in an international exhibition game, but at least it showed the players were competing. Argentina somehow got 4 consecutive free throws and the ball after the scrap. I have no idea why this happened. I even checked the box score after the game and neither team was assigned any technical fouls.

By halftime, Argentina had cut the defect to 47-41. Still, it seemed inevitable that the game was out of reach. Lebron could take over the game at any point he so chose, but had instead been content to distribute and let Durant and Kobe do the scoring. By halftime, everyone except Unibrow, Beard, and White Guy had seen some action.

One thing I always hate about going to a sports game is taking a piss at halftime. I don't like crowds, and I don't like lines, and trying to take a piss normally involves a healthy dose of both. It took me three or four minutes to find signs for a bathroom, so I expected to see a massive line. Not only was there no line, but there wasn't a single person in the bathroom. I kid you not - it was completely empty. I'm not sure if this was a function of the no-beer law or if Spaniads just don't urinate, but in any event I was quite relieved (x2).

At the beginning of the second half, there was a slightly scary moment where Ginobli jumped up and grabbed Lebron around the neck in an effort to prevent a fastbreak. Lebron fell awkwardly but seemed to be ok. It looked like a minimum Flagrant 1, but the refs just called a regular foul. That incident seemed to motivate Lebron, and he was sensational from that point forward.

About a minute later, Lebron brought the crowd to the feet with a powerful one-hander off of a (thematic) Melo missed jumper. No more than fifteen seconds later, Kobe fed Lebron for an even more impressive oop, which was probably the highlight of the game. Somehow, the dunk wasn't shown on the replay screen, which was disappointing. Lebron's passing was perhaps the most impressive part of his game, as he completed several beautiful cross-court no-look passes, and one lob to Durant that rivalled his own dunk for the best play of the game. His court vision and awareness of his teammates was incredible all game. Scola had a poor third quarter, but Ginobli kept the Argentinians in the game, with some help from some people who's names I don't remember. 

As the US built a 15 point lead in the early fourth quarter, the US finally brought Kevin Love on the floor, after going small most of the game (at one point their lineup was Williams-Westbrook-Lebron-Anthony-Durant). Around this time Ginobli started going crazy, scoring 8 points in about 2 minutes with a layup, 3-pointer, followed by a typical acrobatic Ginobli 3-point play. Meanwhile, the US was continuing to impress with crisp passing, fastbreak opportunities, and all-around athleticism, but were failing to drain shots they'd normally make. 

For some reason they were settling for jumpers (Durant, to his credit, was draining them, Melo was not), when they could've scored on the inside on almost every possession. Tyson Chandler's not known as a highly skilled offensive player, but he had an undeniable size advantage on the Argentinian defensive bigs, and Lebron could've got to the hole on almost any possession. Ginobli's efforts coupled with the USA's bricks meant that with 2 minutes left, the lead was down to 4.

However, Durant and CP3 drained a couple quick 3s, and the game was out of reach. Durant was presented a well-deserved Player of the Game, having scored a very efficient 27 points. It definitely wasn't the most competitive basketball game I've been to, nor was the crowd the loudest or more intense. Nontheless, it was an awesome experience. Lebron was simply incredible when he wanted to be, and seeing him live makes you realize what an insane freak of nature he is physically.

Having the game played at a neutral site was also cool, because it meant that the fans were rooting for good basketball and individual plays, rather than just fostering a stubborn bias towards the home team. Bad calls were booed against either team, and good plays rewarded with applause sizes according to their merit. Always having been a fan of the game and specific players moreso than a fan of a particular team (I have about 5 teams I root for in the NBA), I couldn't ask for a better experience.


And the best news is, I scored a ticket to USA vs SPAIN tmrw!


Sounds like quite the time. Tune in for Part 2 tomorrow...

New World Order - Miami Changes the Game

Now that we've all had a couple days to digest Lebron James being an NBA Champion, there's a much bigger issue lingering in the aftermath of his victory: the fact that the "bad guys" won. These NBA Finals were as close as you could come to a battle of Good vs. Evil in the NBA; like the Avengers movie they so relentlessly (and horribly) tried to tie into the early Playoff rounds. And dammit did Captain America ever just get the shit kicked out of him. Regardless of what you want to argue about Lebron, Wade, Bosh, hell even Erik Spoelstra's personal merits, Miami represents a troubling trend...

Small market teams are already at an inherent disadvantage in the NBA; getting the short end of the proverbial stick in a league that's expanded too quickly and diluted its talent pool, doesn't share revenue, and has shown a disturbing lack of initiative in keeping its teams in one place. 

The obvious irony is that the Thunder - the ostensible "good guys" in this case - arrived in Oklahoma City through a sleazy underhanded pillaging that robbed a deserving fanbase in Seattle of its favorite team. But what happened once Clay Bennett brought the Thunder there (except for going with his 2nd-grade son's art project as a logo) almost was good enough to justify it. The Thunder's fans were amazing, and not in a "We're really drunk and pumped for live sports!!" way like Memphis' GrindHouse faithful, but in a "This city badly needs a positive identity to unite around" way, and they cheered relentlessly, every night, showing a bond with their team unseen in pro sports. The only strike against them is that they're SO good, their team often appears a shell of itself on the road.

Meanwhile, behind the scenes, Sam Presti was being the shrewdest GM in the League. Sure, he got handed a once-in-a-generation player, but he also drafted James Harden and Russell Westbrook when they were far from no-brainers. He unearthed Serge Ibaka. He acquired Nick Collison and Thabo Sefolosha, inexpensive pieces that rounded out his lineup nicely. He hired a pretty good coach. He never panicked, let his team develop together,work hard, improve every year, and break through to the Finals on an epic run after mowing down the three teams that had represented the West in every Finals for the last twelve years. The guy who led them was an ideal superstar; humble, unselfish, had devoted his entire career to winning basketball games, and nothing else. Simply put, you couldn't find a more deserving team in the NBA. 

And then there's Miami.

While the Boston Celtics of 2008 (and likely the Spurs before them) birthed this newfound notion of needing three superstars to win an NBA Championship, the Heat took things to a whole new level. What happened in Boston was 85% a shrewd assembly by Danny Ainge, bringing together three aging legends who were hungry for the title that had eluded them...And 15% Kevin McHale gift-wrapping his best player for his former team (#CelticPride). What happened in Miami, well...shit...can YOU ever think of a time when three of the League's best players all "happened" to be free agents together, out of the same Draft no less (not insinuating anything, just calling facts facts), and signed with the same team? No, because it's never happened before. People were justified in calling it a "short cut" out of initial shock because there was no precedent against which to measure it; it just seemed sleazy and unfair, like they were destined to win (only it took them a season to figure it out because these three guys generally complemented each other like a bad hangover, Wild Turkey, and work). The guy who led them was a formerly arrogant young man who'd been gifted with the greatest physical composition and skill set ever for the game of basketball, but became so consumed with the bullshit surrounding it that he - in his own words - had to "hit rock bottom" before he could rediscover his passion for the game. Simply put, you couldn't find a less deserving team in the NBA. 

And even before they won, you could see unhealthy trends developing:

After fanning on Lebron, the Knicks have already fucked themselves trying to form their own Big 3; two-thirds there with the only foundation that could possibly make less sense than the Bosh/Wade/James lineup, and just not that great of a team. 

The Lakers tried to keep pace and land Chris Paul, somehow invoking the intervention of David Stern, who thought he could step in and denounce the trade. This obviously angered the Lakers, and their legions of fans, called some legitimacy to those conspiracy theorists that said the fix was on, and made the NBA's commissioner look  weak and lost.

Meanwhile, there's an absolute spending frenzy running amok while teams prepare to compete with this inevitable shitstorm of talent stockpiling. Nene just got near-max money. Deandre Jordan just got near-max money. People are realistically talking about James Harden getting a Boss Contract out of pure necessity. Already! DIDN'T WE JUST HAVE A FUCKING LOCKOUT BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT?!?!

South Florida is now sure to take on a role in the NBA much like it does in the Real World: a haven for veterans to chase rings and have fun at the end of their careers. Pat Riley will have his pick of quality againg players willing to barter money for glory at the salary table as this apparent dynasty evolves, which is already tilting the scales even further against already-oppressed small-market teams that aren't managed as well as the Thunder, and whose fans just don't care as much. 

Teams like Milwaukee, Charlotte and Portland (despite who owns them...) just don't have the financial firepower to go over the cap and compete with these superstar legions. Hell, even Oklahoma City, for all their tactically sound drafting and spending, faces big questions about how to keep their core intact going forward. It's cute that Miami's trio took pay cuts - you know, because Lebron James is really hard up for money - to play together, but they did the right thing for the wrong reasons; they fucked up the game. Talent like that is supposed to consume your entire roster, and for a team like the Heat - who just sold out an entire playoff run, sold untold fortunes in merchandise, and are on the verge of signing a TV deal in the $80-$100 million range - to absorb more talent will be pennies in couch cushions for the same sums that could bankrupt the Hornets. 

If things continue this way and really get out of hand; if the big markets continue to stockpile the best available talent, leaving the Underlings to gamble on lottery balls and un-trendy free agent signings, then the NBA can only suffer. The regular season will be a wash. The early rounds of the Playoffs will be formalities. Teams will continue to bleed money, move, and fold while fans lose interest and Skip Bayless annoys us. 

I'm not trying to play Nostradamus here. I'm a fan of the game above all else, and want what's best for the NBA. And as such, this trend scares me; a League that so quickly went from talking about overseas expansion to local contraction may have a problem growing beyond their control. There's only so much BRI to go around; and if a shrinking talent pool available to smaller markets continues to go up in price, then it's only a matter of time before the stands start to empty in some arenas.

When the Finals matchup was determined, it was set in stone that either the epitome of building a team the right way or the wrong way was going to be validated with a Championship. "Good vs. Evil". And Evil winning couldn't look much worse. 

Hate Me Now: A Tyrant Becomes a King

Well, it's happened. Lebron James has won an NBA Title.

Thing is, he didn't arrive here the way I'm sure he thought he would when he "took his talents to South Beach".

At first it was all fun & games, sunny with no chance of showers; even as the Haterade hit them from all angles, Lebron and his new team kept being their jovial, juvenile selves, blissfully ignorant to the trials they were facing. But the boisterous welcome party and arrogant comportment eventually gave way to not only to trepidation, but failure. The demon inside the Dallas Mavericks that the Heat awoke with their silly celebrations late in the 4th Quarter of the 2011 Finals' Game 2 had haunted them - particularly James - incessantly. Until last night.

This redemption wasn't just brought about by fluke coincidence or divine intervention; the Heat had to learn some lessons. Chris Bosh had to learn to get physical and body up on the boards. Dwyane Wade had to learn that he's not the man anymore, a tough pill to swallow. Erik Spoelstra had to learn a thing or two about half-court sets and in-game adjustments, and proved his prowess in these Finals. But mostly, Lebron had to learn to develop that killer instinct; that unflappable swagger carried by a guy who knows he's the best basketball player alive and isn't going to let his team lose.

In the second round against Indiana, down 2-1 and facing more of the scrutiny from the unrelenting Haters, Lebron put his team on his back while it was firmly against the ropes, delivered one of the greatest playoff performances ever, and never really looked back. He played out of his mind the past few weeks (remember who we're talking about here, the guy who perpetually bored us w/ 27/7/7 in regular seasons past), and really proved himself to be worthy of the Crown.

It finally fits.

And not just because Lebron was able to exorcise those Dallas Demons and deliver on the biggest stage; he underwent a total emancipation over the past year, one that consumed not only his game, but his entire being. He matured; he humbled; he evolved. Gone was the kid who mocked Dirk's sickness in the Finals, rocked his own "MVP" tees and embarrassed himself on Twitter every week. In his place was a visibly pacified young man, almost stoic in the midst of all the incessant hatred he faced; one that the entire team pointed to as their leader. He corralled them for a memorable statement of support after the Trayvon Martin shooting; one that drew light to a massive social media trend. He punked off his own team's security at an airport after they denied photos and autographs to fans in the US Military, telling them to step aside and making the whole team get up and sign. And he won the Heat a lot of basketball games by himself, unleashing the most multi-faceted dominance in the history of the NBA.

I said this last year about Dirk, and I'll say it again now, if Lebron James didn't impress you over the past few weeks, then Fuck Off - you're too hard to please. This was a transcendent performance on many levels; Lebron's faced ludicrously high expectations since he came into the public eye, and until his enigmatic collapse vs. Boston in 2010, had always managed to somehow exceed them. After pretty much everybody spent the past two seasons directing all their negative energy at him, we've been too blinded by our own biased emotion to remember why we did it. Because Lebron's become someone different; he's become that player that we always expected him to be: a gracious winner who definitively led his team to a Title. It didn't happen the way we thought it would, hell it didn't happen the way Lebron thought it would either. But after a tumultuous detour, he quickly put himself back on course to claim his Crown. It should cover up that hairline nicely.

I wrote this about Lebron almost two years ago; September '10 as the Heat prepared for their first training camp A.D. (Anno Decision):  it's easy and trendy to hate Lebron now, but it was also trendy (and much easier) to hate Kobe Bryant at one point, and ten times less fathomable that he'd bounce back. Let's let the Heat go do their thing for a bit; let this summer's madness subside. Don't forget that underneath this alleged monster is the best basketball player alive. He's got a fresh team - one that's far more talented than any he's been on - and plenty of critics to silence. We can shower Lebron James in Haterade all we want, but when him and D-Wade have their own Court Cuts segment every week, when the Heat win 60+, and when the King can finally hoist the Larry O and rest easy on his throne, it'll be hard for him to feel a single drop.


I'm sure plenty of people don't agree with me; that Lebron's still going to get hated on plenty.


But you could tell this year he was a Man On Fire, consumed with getting his team a Title. And he did.


So rest assured, he doesn't give a fuck. 

Clash of the Titans

So it comes to this.

A seven game bout between the two best teams in NBA, led by its two best players, seeking the ultimate goal.

These two superstars contrast each other as starkly as the teams they lead: a humble, quiet, almost passive-aggressive hipster at the head of a shrewdly-cobbled, well-developed Draft Machine, facing the sleazily concocted South Beach Dark Empire, and the arrogant, dominant Chosen One who despite being one of the most heavily-scrutinized people on the face of the Earth, is still largely an enigma to us.

There's much to be said about this series, and clearly on many levels it promises to be a thrilling conclusion to one of the best NBA postseasons - hell, seasons - ever. Either the epitome of the successful small-market model or trendy superstar-hoarding will be validated with a championship, and Lebron or Durant will win his first ring. While this matchup figures to focus on its two stars, there's much more to it, so let's break it down...

(I'd like to officially note that I'm not buying any "Lebron Choked!" nonsense from last year's finals. I'm writing this under the assumption that he's mentally much stronger - which the only evidence we've seen all year points to - and we're in for a much more standard Lebron showing. Any attempt to dissect this further would be convoluted and unnecessary because nobody else knows what's going on inside Lebron James' head and can aptly assume if he's truly ready.)

The Westbrook Factor - If the WCF proved anything, it's that the Thunder are a much more dangerous team down the stretch of close games when Russ is in Mark Jackson mode and letting Durant handle the scoring. This has been painfully obvious for a couple of years now, but Westbrook finally seems to have gotten the hint himself, and the Thunder are in the Finals because of it. Their chances here hinge slightly on his ability to continue doing this, and to attack an often-exposed rim instead of settling for pullup jumpers. He's the perfect kind of player to put Dwyane Wade in foul trouble, but he's going to have to be selective and keep himself out of overdrive. When Westy dominates the ball and shot chart late, the Thunder suffer, and this series will be too close for them to give that up.


"The Other Guys" - Although what still might be Dwyane Wade's city is now home to Lebron James' basketball team, Wade will have to come up big consistently for Miami to take this home. He's thrown up several offensive disasters already these playoffs, punctuated by his continued facade as a three-point threat. Although this series figures to feature a lot more transition ball than we're used to in the playoffs - which definitely suits Wade and James - close games are sure to slow down in the clutch, and they'll have to be executing well off-the-ball, or else OKC's bigs can easily clog the lane if Miami tries to go 1-on-5, and we all saw how that went last year...

Likewise, this is a crucial series for Chris Bosh, not only in that has to consistently hit shots to keep Ibaka/Collison/whoever honest enough to stay away from Lebron/Wade penetration, but regardless of OKC's lineup, will spend a lot of time fighting against physical off-the-ball play he's been at times reluctant to face head-on. He's developed a "fake tough guy" label, certainly in the seldom-spoken mind of Kevin Durant, and will surely be targeted by the Thunder bigs on the glass.

The Extras from "The Other Guys" - If Miami's supporting cast sucks, they're screwed. It's as simple as that. They went to Game 7 against Boston with sporadic performances, and OKC's just a much better team. Shane Battier will have to be defensively brilliant when matched up with Durant. Joel Anthony will have to battle bigger, better players on the glass, and somehow also protect the rim. Mario Chalmers will have to play his best defense, hit shots when needed and exist within the flow of the offense. Mike Miller will have to channel his 2004 self. All of this will have to occur with relative perpetuity, or this series will not go to a Game 7.

Tempo Control - Obviously both of these teams can score easily and thrive in transition, but the Thunder possess an advantage in that they're also very dangerous in the halfcourt, while Miami's still kinda figuring that one out. If they can keep the pace relatively slow, take care of the ball, and prevent the long rebounds that will let the Heat get out on the break (this means you Russell), the flow should play out in their favor.

Protecting the House - While this is an obvious concern for Miami (no sense in beating a dead horse), it becomes a serious question for the Thunder. Serge Ibaka's proven to be the ultimate help defender when players are slowed down by Kendrick Perkins near the hoop, but without any legitimate post threats on Miami's roster, the temptation may be to go small and play fast, which, tying into the above point, would probably play into Miami's hands. Keeping Perkins in the game not only allows Ibaka to play a more natural role, but keeps the best rim-protection in the series around against Wade and James. This slows things down, forces more Heat jump-shooting, and gives them an indomitable edge on the glass. I hope Scott Brooks sees this.

Clutch City - Perhaps the Thunder's greatest advantage lies in Durant's consistent ability to deliver monster performances down the stretch of big games. He's an ace in the hole, a guy who has never shied away from taking or hitting, not only "the big shot", but many "big shots" in succession against good defenders. People can argue all day about Lebron's clutch ability; allow his past preferences to let an open teammate shoot rather than force up over double-coverage skew them into thinking he isn't very dangerous in the clutch (and much more matured and motivated than he was this time last year), but with Durant, we're seeing the definition of Clutch; potentially one of the best of all time. While Lebron is capable of taking over games in a multitude of ways, Durant's poison has still proven to be more lethal, and after how casually he made his decimation of San Antonio look, I fear for what might be in store for Miami. Regardless of how well they defend the perimeter, this guy can give anybody nightmares, and he doesn't even have to for them to win.

OKC's got depth, homecourt, and a couple matchup options to exploit even if Lebron and Wade come out in "Man On Fire" mode, which is why I see plenty of Seattle basketball fans sending angry Tweets at Clay Bennett while watching a Title Parade on TV in a couple weeks. Thunder in 6.