The Last Place Penalty

I got on the Shameless bandwagon this week; binge-watching the first season after more than a few friends recommended it, and I did my standard procrastinating. It's turned out to be clever, and hilarious so far.

I bring this up out of irony because there's something clever, hilarious, and ultimately shameless going on in the NBA right now. As if there were much doubt I'm talking about Tank-a-Thon, Riggin' for Wiggins, Impiid for Embiid, the Royal Fumble, or whatever other name you want to give the backwards race that's consumed so much of the Association.

The Sixers just reeled off 26 straight losses as a means to an end - catching up to Milwaukee (a team who was "supposed to compete" this year) and maximizing their equity in this year's lottery. It made headlines for all the wrong reasons, and drummed up plenty of media scrutiny, but the Sixers can't really be held to blame. Their season is merely indicative of a much larger problem; one that's run rampant amid the mainstream sport most driven by individual talent.

There's two sides to this issue, both legitimate gripes: One being that the NBA places too strong an incentive for front offices to engage in "tanking"; wasting their fans' money and time to get a stronger footing to - as they're paid to do anyways - put a winning team together.

The other is that it's never been easy for small-market teams to attract elite talent, a truth that recent trends suggest may only get worse for teams like the Bobcats, Jazz and Cavaliers. And in the interest of overall competitive parity, it's good that teams who, in theory, perform the worst and attract the least talent, have a means to level the field (by getting their choice of the best new players).

A dilemma's been created by conflicting interests; the NBA is sabotaging itself by either providing too little help for struggling teams (one of the many flaws of the "Draft Wheel" proposal) or, as they have now, fostering a system where losses are assets. Philadelphia's one of several franchises actively behaving counter-productively because league conditions have almost engineered it, the Sixers are just following an unfortunate trend and doing it better than everyone else.

A solution that's far from perfect, but makes more sense than the Wheel's convoluted selection schedule (seriously, the NBA has had enough of The Wheel, no need for another one), may be as simple as one commonly found in fantasy basketball: the Last Place Penalty.

Anyone who's ever played fantasy sports knows how easily a league can be wrecked by managers who abandon a season after combinations of injuries, poor strategy, and lack of interest sabotage their chances of winning. At some point, the person running the team figures the time they'd invest in managing rotations, making trades, paying attention to the wire, etc would be better spent, you know, actually doing stuff, since they can't win anyway.

Many people agree that this ruins the overall quality of a league, much in same way that tanking ruins the NBA's overall product. So, most competitive fantasy leagues feature a "Last Place Penalty"; managers will ante-up extra at the beginning of the year (usually 2x the league's buy-in), covering both their entry and the L.P.P (sort of like your damage deposit on a hotel room). At the end of the season, the league's commissioner refunds the penalty sum to everyone but whoever finishes last, with that money either added to the prize pool or broken up among the other teams.

This (in most cases) incentivizes fantasy managers to not totally throw seasons, and at least try to keep pace with everyone else, promoting season-long competition, especially in head-to-head leagues. By now you see where this is going; if the NBA's current Lottery system operated on these terms, the last place team would be paying no penalty, and getting a larger rebate than anyone else.

A pretty simple way to discourage teams from openly bombing as they have this year, while still giving relief to those that need it through the Draft, would be to incorporate the Last Place Penalty into the Lottery system. This would make teams at least think twice before pulling the chute on a season, and guarantee they wouldn't be as eager to slide in the standings.

The penalty could be anything; maybe the last place team automatically gets the 14th pick. Maybe they're levied a heavy fine, lose their mid-level exception that summer, or have to hire Mike Brown. Anything that outweighs the margin between a 20 and 25% chance at the first overall pick, and prevents careless abandon as a means of strategic improvement. It's one way to at least raise the bar somewhere acceptable, to where the NBA isn't being tarnished as easily as your Yahoo! league.

The Sixers have stumbled awkwardly through most of this season, Shameless-ly, like a waste-cased Frank Gallagher after a bender at the Alibi. Also like Frank, they'll be getting their disability check at the end of the month, and the system's going to keep getting worked until a change is made.

Top 9s: The Tank Brigade

Welcome to the Tank Brigade; where the race for professional basketball's worst record is heating up.

Tanking has never been trendier; a shift induced not only by the massive talent pool in next year's Draft, but by a dynamic historical precedent. Not only does it (with very rare exception) take elite talent to win an NBA title - we're talking at least one bonafide Top-10 guy - but with stars aligning in big cities and taking salary cuts to help their teams dodge the cap, it's never been harder for small market/less established teams to land the best players.

The mentality that competing for a low Playoff spot is the League's worst position has never been so prevalent, leading most teams to shoot for the stars, or lie down in the dirt. While the likes of the Thunder and Pacers battle for the Association's best record, there's a more subtle fight in full force. One for the best odds in a gamble to determine a complete gutterball of a season's ultimate worth.

The very worst team stands only a 1 in 4 chance of landing the top pick on a record-based scale, and even a loaded Draft class like the one upon us can have its busts.The Lottery is still very much a gamble. This is degeneracy at its highest stakes; snuffing seasons and making fans wait on a relative dice roll. In a league where owners spent a lockout griping about "competitive parity" just over two years ago.

Some franchises are more or less banking on a lottery miracle, while others have set themselves up nicely for whatever they net in this Draft to join a promising foundation; stockpiling other assets and clearing cap space.

So here are the NBA's Nine worst teams as of today, ranked from worst to first in order of how well they've managed through this whole "Tanking" thing:

9. New York Knicks
Woops.

So this season hasn't been great for the Knicks; the kind that's swiftly gone from alarming, to laughable, to downright tragic.

Their presence here is dubious for any number of reasons, from their Playoff ambitions and gaudy payroll, to the future picks they stupidly dealt, crippling their rebuilding effort. The Knicks will have no first-round pick this season, or in 2016; saved by the Stepien Rule from burying themselves deeper.

They've also traded a slew of second-rounders, to make sage, competitively-priced acquisitions like Andrea Bargnani. This was a total dud of the contract that the Raptors were just praying to unload on some GM who, like most of America, had mostly ignored them and didn't know just how bad Bargs was. Then along comes New York, offering to give them three draft picks, along with cheaper, shorter-term deals, to take him off their hands.

They literally yanked their own safety net before nose-diving down the East standings, and now face an offseason of many questions, with no idea where to begin on an answer.

8. New Orleans Pelicans 
The Pels bought up their own stock prematurely, and currently owning the NBA's second-longest losing streak, are cruising towards an early summer, likely with no redemption in sight.

Like the Knicks, they mortgaged their Lottery equity for current assets, figuring their team to be better and the pick much lower. Sure enough, as soon as you could say "Point Guard Injury Epidemic" and "Tyreke Evans was a waste of money", the Pelicans tilted the scales of the Jrue Holiday deal heavily.

Unless they luck out and land in the top-5, Philly will get the Pels' first-rounder, ironically in exchange for the very player whose absence (along with Ryan Anderson) made this pick become so attractive.

So far, we've learned that Tanking is mostly sub-optimal strategy when you've given away your Draft picks and are among the worst teams by accident.


7. Sacramento Kings
That so much of Sacramento's next season lies in Rudy Gay's $19million player option is a mildly terrifying predicament, especially for a rebuilding team that gave up a bunch of expiring deals for him.

Working in their favor is that Gay has been playing arguably the best ball of his career, able to dominate the rock and shoot with no conscience on a team with low expectations. This might lean him towards putting himself on the market now while his stock's high; locking up another deal before he's dealt to a stricter team ('Rudy Gay's Expiring Contract' would be the most-floated piece in trade rumors next year) and his shot selection becomes an international punchline again.

With Boogie beasting, and a reasonable cap scenario long-term, this could be a solid team in a few years if the pieces come together properly, but so far the movement under new owner Vivek Ranadive has been mostly lateral.

6. Utah Jazz
The Jazz have done an outstanding job of clearing cap room and producing a 2013-14 on-court product that would surely suck enough to get a high Lotto pick.

The problem for them is they may have done it too well.

This team has few attractive pieces, with Enes Kanter, and to a lesser extent Derrick Favors, failing to make much of a leap in their expanded roles, and meshing poorly together as a tandem. Trey Burke will remain, as will Gordon Hayward (for a year, at least) but it's hardly enough to convince the kind of talent Utah's banking on to come spend most of their year in a trendy, must-visit NBA locale like Salt Lake City.

I'm predicting a Jazz offseason that exemplifies why not all cap space is created equal, and leaves them short on the Free Agent Haul.

5. Boston Celtics
The Celtics' season has been somewhat confounding. The two apparent objectives this year were: 1) Trade Rajon Rondo, and 2) Lose as many games as possible. The former didn't happen, and the latter only did after a counter-productively hot start under Brad Stevens.

The good news is that Stevens was an ace hire, and that several Celtics pieces - most notably Jared Sullinger - have seen a spike in value, both to the team and on the trade market. The bad news is that they still have to pay Gerald Wallace $20million over the next two years, and the continuing Rondo uncertainty makes their future very hard to define.

4. L.A. Lakers

The Lakers' range of possibilities for next season is extremely wide:

They currently have over half their cap next year (roughly $35million) invested in two guys who've each played less than ten games this year. That said, the latest round of Steve Nash retirement rumors seem more well-founded than in the past, possibly shaving $10m off the tab.

Since a very large chunk of their roster is off the books this summer, the Lakers (if Nash does hang 'em up) could have safely over $30million in cap space, along with a decent-at-worst Lottery pick.

How all that potential comes together is obviously a tricky variable; TinselTown has always been a favorite destination for big names, but there's no telling just how willing Player X will be to team with Kobe or commit to a rebuild.

With such a large window, the Lakers are sure to come back reloaded, but they only have to rewind their franchise one year to see how throwing a bunch of talent together can be an unmitigated disaster.

3. Milwaukee Bucks
John Hammond is a genius.

I don't say this in any facetious regard; I really think the guy's a mastermind. Last summer, the Bucks were staring an obvious rebuild in the face, with senile owner Herb Kohl demanding that the team stay "competitive" (read: pick in the late Lottery or get swept by Indiana/Miami).

Instead of condemning them to middling mediocrity, Hammond had a plan; he knew his owner was being an idiot, but he didn't want to get himself fired. So he went about his mandate under the appearance of legitimacy, inking deals and making trades that seemed aimed at the short-term, but weren't making Milwaukee any better . He even coerced sports' trendiest website into exaggerating his team's worth in their season preview.

Then when the curtains came up, the Bucks confirmed everyone's suspicions that they couldn't score. At all. Hammond then hired local goons to provoke new-signed defensive backbone Larry Sanders into injuring himself in a drunken nightclub meltdown. As a result, they own the NBA's worst record (/best Lottery odds), two promising prospects in John Henson and Giannis Antetokounmpo (it's his name, get over it), and little long-term financial commitment.

2. Orlando Magic
Few teams made being bad look as easy this season as the Magic, who have a bottom-3 record in the East and plenty going in their favor:

- they have two legitimate foundation pieces (Nik & Vic); they're the only serious tankers who can say that.

- their whole team is bathing in upside; a roster to which they'll add a potential stud in late June

- they have oodles of cap space, and play in Orlando, which between the sunshine, Disney World, and the lack of state income tax, is relatively prime Free Agent real estate


All added up, this should be a pretty quick turnaround for the Magic, which after Dwight Howard hijacked their franchise for 18 months, should come as comfort to their fans.

1. Philadelphia 76ers
THIS is how you suck. The Sixers have by far the largest pot of gold of at the end of this season's shit-rainbow.

First they snaked likely future-All Star Michael Carter-Williams late in last year's Lottery and had him miss a convenient amount of games. They'll get continued growth moving forward from a guy nobody thought would be this good. Then they whittled their payroll down to the bare bones; with somewhere between 17-32million on tap for next year, they'll be the least-constricted team in this summer's spending spree. All the while, losing almost methodically by playing a frenetic pace with a D-League roster.

The plot thickens with the oncoming arrival of potentially game-changing defensive center Nerlens Noel, along with (and here's the best part) not one, but two Lotto picks from the much-ogled 2014 Class. Not only do the 76ers have their own selection, but that of the Pelicans in the highly likely event it lands outside the Top 5.

After the Bynum disaster, the floor fell out beneath the Sixers quickly, but this team has enough going for it beyond this season that they'll likely wind up reaping the greatest spoils of the Tank Brigade.

Throwback Thursday: The Dennis Rodman Experience

Basketball Banter just celebrated its 5th birthday and the party was off the hook! Kendrick Lamar performed, Kendrick Perkins hosted, and all sorts of NBA stars came out to show love.

In all seriousness though, much love and appreciation to everyone who's supported this blog over the years; whether it's those who've helped me with connections, helped me build my reach by sharing social media content, and especially those who've bantered about basketball, both in online and in person. I started doing this with provoking thought and discussion among both casual and hardcore NBA fans in mind, and it's always great to hear I've been able to do that. Profound thanks.

Since it is Thursday and all, I'm gonna go diggin' in the crates to share my favorite piece from these past five years with you guys: an up-close-and-far-too-personal encounter with NBA and Annals of Celebrity Antics legend Dennis Rodman.

This piece went up in February 2009; Banter was less than a month old, and for anyone who may have missed or forgotten, it was a totally surreal experience that should be taken in. I can still remember writing this in the back of class the following morning; completely aghast in awe as I zoned out my prof, trying to come to grips with just what the hell I'd seen. I'd braced myself for something inappropriate, but clearly not well enough.

So, without further rambling, I'll pass the mic (aka the cut/paste function) to my 21-year-old self, and let him tell you about the night Dennis the Menace came to town:

I work for a Halifax-based catering company that regularly puts on massive charity dinners at their multi-purpose facility, which are usually headlined by celebrity guests of honor. Over the past couple of months, I've been fortunate enough to catch many great acts on the company dollar; the hilarious Jerry Seinfeld, the inspirational Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, and most recently, the incoherent ramblings of Dennis Rodman.

The event in question was for the Progress Club, a community outreach and support organization that holds an annual sports dinner, attracting upwards of 1,000 people. Among the other celebrity guests last night were NFL and NHL Hall-of-Famers Jim Kelly and Bryan Trottier, Olympic gold medalist Adam Van Koeverden, and of course Rodman, who were escorted prominently to the head table by Las Vegas-style showgirls. Dennis refused to walk with his girl, insisting that she strut several feet in front of him while he staggered behind (giving the first of many indications that he was highly inebriated), not-so-discretely staring at her ass. Having been an NBA fan for years, and well-versed in Rodman's antics, I could've predicted such things, but from the looks on the faces of hundreds of wealthy socialites in the audience, they clearly had no clue what they were in for. In retrospect, neither did I.

As the event carried on, the guests of honor got up one-by-one to address the audience. There were stories of Stanley Cup victories and Olympic triumph, overcoming adversity and seizing the moment; the usual stuff you'd expect from celebrities at a charity dinner. A few jokes were told, a few jabs made at fellow guests; it was light-hearted fun... And then came Hurricane Dennis, a storm which I stood in the eye of, ten feet away from the stage.

Everybody before him had a general tenor to their words, clearly a few things prepared and a message for the audience. Rodman, heavily bent on Sambucca and God knows what else, clearly had no idea what he was embarking upon when he drew the largest applause of the evening as he was introduced. When the raucous noise finally came to a halt, leaving a massive room in complete silence, some drunk dude in the audience yells out "I loved you in Double Team!". Whoever this guy is, he's clearly the early favorite for Man of the Year.

The Worm's speech began with an unceremonious bashing of the event's host (...and this was after a woman loudly asked him if he was "available later on"). TSN analyst Rod Black had begun the evening with an admittedly kinda corny cheering activity to amp up the crowd. "That was total bullshit", Rodman said laughing, which was followed with "...Nah, nah, I'm just playin' man, whatever your name is". He then turned to Van Koeverden, a kayaker, and referring to him as "the guy with the boat", gave him extended praise for...well..I'm not really sure what. These were the first signs of an incoherence that was about to take full form.

When it became obvious that Dennis was completely out to lunch and had no material to work with, Black intervened and asked him to tell a story, presumably something about playing with Michael Jordan, battling the World's biggest athletes as an undersized post player, or winning any of his five titles. With little hesitation, Rodman launched into a graphic re-creation of the previous night at a Newark airport bar, where a woman had propositioned to let him "fuck her while her boyfriend watched". Astounded and disgusted, there were a few laughs from the drunker audience members, while most sat jaws-dropped in the largest collective awkward silence you'll ever not hear...but it kept coming.

Black dug a little deeper: "Well tell us a story about the craziest thing you've ever done on the basketball court"...I immediately envision him saying something like "Well...this one time a referee was giving me lip, so I headbutted him" or "I chased a loose ball out of bounds and tripped over a cameraman many years ago...I decided it was a good idea to kick him in his junk", but he immediately comes out with "When I was with Carmen Electra...I did her on a basketball court...on her back. True Story". Unreal.

As his speech gradually lost its grip on coherent English, Rodman got into a story that began as his tale of upbringing in an empoverished neighborhood ("one thing we didn't have in the ghetto that alllllllll you people here always had growing up was opportunity"), delved into a revival of black/white tension in 60's southern US ("I was like wow...watching these white people coming through the neighborhood...blacks were beating on them, killing them..and today nothing's changed") and led to his legal troubles ("..I was a janitor at the airport...I stole like 50 grand worth of watches"), which allegedly helped him find basketball as salvation.

Before he got his act together and turned pro though, his mother abandoned him, leaving him unemployed and resourceless for a year ("I went to pack my bags...well, I had no fuckin' bags to pack"). He loses his composure and sheds a few tears as he tells the audience about the $20 and "get a job" note she left him as she ran off with her fiance. Even amid the hilarity and ridiculousness of what I've witnessed so far, my face goes stone-cold and my heart rattles. It's impossible not to feel for this man, who despite his immense celebrity has clearly led a troubled and turbulent life, understandably shaken 30 years later by those events. After this meltdown, Rodman loses all focus and breaks out into racially-charged rant, apparently about how he met the family that now runs his company. I'm sure he meant it as a touching tale of how inter-ethnic relations have grown over the years, but the intent is lost in translation as he drops the phrases "big, tall n*****" and "little white kid" no fewer than twenty times, swearing profusely and stammering repeatedly, before Black finally intercedes and cuts him off after 15 minutes of this tirade. He returns to his seat amid hesitant applause and the most "...what the hell did I just witness" grimaces since Michael Richards' last stand-up gig.

I don't really know what to make of it either. As I sit here the next day, still trying to wrap my head around the spectacle, I'm astonished by how deliriously inappropriate Rodman was, even having known he's never done anything PG-rated to speak of. Seeing the state he was in last night saddened me; here was pound-for-pound the greatest rebounder and defender ever to step on a basketball court beyond buzzin' and acting like he was with a few close friends rather than 1300 upper-classmen who weren't on the same wavelength. It was unfortunate, surreal; one of the most ridiculous things I've ever experienced. Being there was really beyond what words can describe, but hopefully I did a decent job.

Putting the "Dead" in Deadline

The Trade Deadline came and went last week; a date that had built up with blockbuster potential for months "climaxed" dully with the seemingly inevitable dumping of Danny Granger's contract.

Despite an army of franchises actively shopping attractive assets, and others seeking to shake things up, the market may have over-played itself. Many teams' asking prices were reportedly too high, leaving most parties at the trade table favoring the upcoming loaded Draft and Free Agent classes to make their moves.

So what now for the teams that seemed destined to make moves, but hesitated to pull the trigger? Were they wise in waiting? What can they expect going forward? Let's see which GMs have screwed themselves, and which should come out on top:

Boston Celtics 
Rajon Rondo still being a Celtic is among the more bizarre aftermath of the Deadline, with Danny Ainge suddenly holding onto a guy he'd been shopping for years, at what seemed like the most logical time to finally deal him.

The irony of Ainge's decision gets diluted when you consider that Rondo's actually a very good fit for a young team searching for its identity through a re-build, as a versatile cog for a smart coach who's a whiz with quirky lineups. Keeping him can't be an awful decision; he's a Top 15-ish player, just turned 28, and his market value could rise if Boston suddenly seems less keen on dumping him.

It's one of those hands that's hard to misplay; Boston might not have liked offers that came their way, but being left to rebuild with one of the NBA's best point guards isn't a Saw game, which Ainge may be realizing.

Toronto Raptors
Few GMs in pro sports history have developed reputations as movers and shakers as quickly and astutely as Ujiri. After ousting the Raptors' two ugliest contracts in moves that showed immediate + returns, Masai was rumored to be in talks around a deal for Kyle Lowry for most of this season.

Masai's inability to move Lowry is a minor disappointment, but hardly a fatal wound for Toronto. The reality is that Lowry's trade value has never been this high, and likely never will be again, so unless he's their point guard going forward, the time to bail was now. His superb play this season will absolutely earn him more money next year, and it's unclear if he'll be as fit and motivated with his new deal locked up.

Masai's track record might even be hurting his cause, with at least one (confirmed) case of a team unwilling to be "fleeced" by him again. Regardless, few people in NBA front offices - likely only Daryl Morey - understand trading assets like Ujiri, and with virtually every player in Toronto's rotation playing up their own stock this year, he'll have nice pieces to work with, even if Lowry is signs elsewhere.

Houston Rockets
Speaking of Daryl Morey, his own shrewdness has come back to bite him in the ass.

Two years ago, Morey snaked the criminally under-utilized Omer Asik from the Bulls with a "poison pill" contract that saw his originally meager salary triple in its upcoming final year.

In the meantime, Asik's been one of the NBA's most improved players, and best defensive centers, but Morey's attempt to pass the buck (literally) on Asik's bloated remaining year came undone. Teams were wary of the looming salary boom, and Morey's habit of usually being way smarter than the guy on the other end of the phone.

And so, after the passing of several team-mandated deadlines, and finally the League's, Omer Asik is still on the Houston Rockets, in a limited reserve role, openly unhappy, and due almost $15 million next season.

Minnesota Timberwolves
Among the League's relative disappointments this season (remember, this is still largely a David Kahn team), the Wolves are seemingly under pressure to release Kevin Love from the pack.

A continually visibly unhappy superstar whose contract expires after next year, Love will eventually leave Minnesota, but they can decide whether on their terms or his. The lack of action last week only hurts their rebuild timetable; it's not as though there won't still be teams lining up for him in the offseason, when offices with room to maneuver might be more willing to make a big play for a superstar.

The Wolves need to begin to treat this with urgency though. Love can't remain undealt going into next season; it will delay the inevitable, shroud their team in uncertainty, and give opposing GMs more leverage as his departure draws closer. This is just like ripping off a Band-Aid; it will hurt a lot less if done quickly.

L.A. Lakers 
Everyone and their grandmother on Twitter spent the weeks leading up to the Deadline suggesting that Pau Gasol was about to be dealt, but the Lakers were unlikely to get as much value out of Gasol as they could this summer.

The Lakers are unloading most of their payroll in July, and can either re-sign Gasol at a significant rebate via 'Bird Rights', or let him walk and have eight figures in extra cap room. That cap room is intrinsically worth more to the Lakers than most franchises; they're able to attract top-tier talent easily and will never have to overpay someone to join them.

Already armed with a fresh Spending License, and a very good shot at a high Lottery pick, this was probably good spot for the Lakers to bide their time.

New York Knicks
Carmelo's still a Knick, and the odds of him re-signing in a few months rest somewhere between New York's chances of making the Playoffs, and having a Lottery pick in this year's Draft.

Knicks fans, my continued sympathies.

North Goes South for All-Star Weekend

If you don't live in New Orleans, or aren't a celebrity/connected with an NBA franchise, you more than likely got a second-hand glimpse of the NBA's All-Star Weekend festivities. You missed the excitement of the live arena, the flavor of Louisiana, and of course all the shenanigans that happened off-camera.

Fortunately, there's exceptions to every rule. Basketball Banter Buddy Sean Francois being one of them. Sean's website, Hoop Heads North, had a chance to take in the Weekend through their #ReignOn promotion with Crown Royal.

Sean spent the weekend shoulder-to-shoulder with NBA's past and present, with event tickets, media availability, and VIP access to shindigs including a sit-down with the immortal Julius Erving. Yeah, chilling with Dr. J... Kinda makes up for the Dunk Contest.

Hoop Heads North will be rolling out exclusive content all week, sharing the awesome experience with those of us who weren't on the Bayou for the party. There's a preview up right now, and plenty more to come...

So stay tuned to HHN for Banter's (outsourced) All-Star coverage; and big thanks to Sean for giving us a glimpse behind the scenes. Keep Reigning On!

Better Than Bruno Mars: The Halftime Awards

Welcome to Basketball Banter's Annual Halftime Awards, where we (I) salute the NBA players who've made the greatest impact on the season's first 41 games. It's been a bit of a tumultuous campaign so far, but these are the most deserving candidates for the League's individual awards:

Rookie of the Year: Michael Carter-Williams, Philadelphia 76ers
Seen as a bit of a wild-card pick, even in a wild-card Draft, Carter-Williams quickly rose to the top of the class with a near quadruple-double (22/12ast/9stl/7reb.One turnover.) in an opening-night win over the Heat, and hasn't looked back much.

He can't really shoot, and he turns the ball over too much - as most rookie PGs do - but MCW's quickness and size allow him to do so much else on the court, from defending several positions, to being a menace in the passing lanes, creating well off the dribble, and rebounding more than any PG.

Carter-Williams may be lightly bumping into the Rookie Wall, but he remains enough of a favorite that this may be wrapped up unless he (God forbid) goes the way so many other Ones this season.

Regards to: Victor Oladipo, Tim Hardaway Jr, Giannis Antetokounmpo

Most Improved Player: Miles Plumlee, Phoenix Suns
I know a lot of people are jocking Anthony Davis for this award, but regardless of how undeniably he's in the midst of "The Leap", his rookie season wasn't that far off his per-minute pace this year. He's playing almost seven more minutes per game now that's he's stronger and fully healthy, so naturally his numbers will jump.

Meanwhile, Plumlee is quietly having a productive season for the Phoenix Suns, averaging a shade under 10/9 in the pivot while emerging as a dangerous weak-side shot blocker, and irritating, energetic defender.

What bears noting is that the Alpha Plumlee appeared in 14 games for the Pacers last year (whose bench kind of sucked if you recall), amassing gaudy averages of 0.9/1.6. Yeah, he scored 13 points the entire season. Now he's the White Shawn Kemp, and the prime over-achiever on maybe the NBA's biggest surprise team. Tell me who's "Improved" more.

Regards to: Eric Bledsoe/Basically Everyone on Phoenix, Anthony Davis, DeAndre Jordan, Kemba Walker, Lance Stephenson (someone cue the "cut-off acceptance speech" music)

Sixth Man of the Year: Manu Ginobili, San Antonio Spurs
I'll be the first to admit, I thought Ginobili had finally faded after last year's awful Playoff run, and just like every other time I'd said anything even remotely pessimistic about the Spurs, I was proven wrong. He's bounced back with a signature Manu Season, in line for the Sixth Man trophy yet again (in fact, he's only actually won it once, which is kind of like Shaq only having one MVP).

Ever a living testament to the old "it's not who starts the game, but who finishes it" adage, Manu continuing to be Manu is one of the biggest reasons the Spurs - while "playing for June" - are still the West's best team.

Regards to: Taj Gibson, Tyreke Evans, the favorite-turned-replacement starter (Reggie Jackson)

Coach of the Year: Terry Stotts, Portland Trailblazers
The first of two awards that have been beyond difficult to decide, Stotts gets an alarmingly slim nod over Jeff Hornacek, whose teams have both massively exceeded expectations this year.

Portland was supposed to be fighting a losing battle for one of the West's final Playoff spots, while Phoenix was supposed to be trying to be the worst team in the Conference. Instead, the Suns are currently Playoff-bound (and have more games remaining vs. the East than any West team), while Portland is fighting a losing battle for the West's top seed.

Which is really what gives Stotts the edge in a race where both coaches have devised unique systems (Stotss on offense, Hornacek on both sides of the ball) and gotten career years out of several players; Portland's level of success, which can't be ignored.

Regards to: Jeff Hornacek, Gregg Popovich, Frank Vogel

Defensive Player of the Year: Roy Hibbert, Indiana Pacers
Shot blocking...blah blah blah...alters everything near the hoop...blah blah blah...backbone of NBA's best defense...blah blah blah...Verticality...blah blah blah...

Regards to: LeBron James, Tony Allen, Dwight Howard

Most Valuable Player: Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder
*DISCLAIMER* This does not mean I think Durant is a better basketball player than LeBron James. Nobody is. But this season, in the context of the MVP award, I think he's the more deserving candidate.

Also, this has nothing to do with being "bored" of voting for LeBron. An argument as stupid as "It's KD's Turn" can't influence the most important award.

Further, this isn't just a fickle reaction to Durant's recent string of malicious scoring nights either, though they certainly haven't hurt his case.

This is the result of KD being the more vital player to the better team out of Miami and OKC thus far, averaging career highs in scoring and (Rebs+Assts), and keeping the Thunder on track through two unlikely Russell Westbrook injuries. His percentages have fallen slightly - defenses are able to key on him all the more without Westbrook - but are still within striking distance of .50/.40/.90, which is relatively even more impressive without a co-pilot.

Both Durant and LeBron are in the midst of transcendent seasons, and really either of them could take this trophy without much of a legitimate protest from anyone. Both have had to do so much for their teams, but the following facts are true:

- Russell Westbrook, who against most standards is a better player than Dwyane Wade, has sat more games for the Thunder this year than Wade has for the Heat. This puts Durant, in the sense of playing as a lone star and thus individually "valuable" to his team, at a greater disadvantage. Peripherally, Chris Bosh is also better than Serge Ibaka and Reggie Jackson.

- Aside from a career-high FG%, all of LeBron's key stats, factoring Wade's periodic absence, are below his career averages. I hate to point this out when he does so much so well, but you'd expect the opposite if anything. And the Heat are routinely losing games Wade sits.

- Miami has a worse record than OKC, and plays in a substantially worse Conference. So both of these guys are making massive MVP contributions for Top-3 teams in the absence of fellow stars, only one of them is winning against much better teams at a higher rate.

So in a race this close, the scales are tipped ever-so-slightly in Durant's favor by his unconscious domination leading to his team's superior position, in the midst of a worse handicap. So what, it is KD's turn.

Regards to: LeBron James. That's It. 

Much could evolve over the coming months to change the course of the MVP, and (most of) the rest of the awards. Good luck to the contenders; on the the Second Half...

Banter's 2014 All-Star Ballot

Every NBA season, I leave my All-Star voting as late as possible, not because I'm a huge procrastinator (guilty), but to make the most developed and informed selections. As flawed as this democratic process may be, I'll be damned if my vote's going to waste.

So with voting closing in a couple days, who deserves to go to the show? Which players have been the most dominant and influential on this season so far? In the case of most of the Eastern Conference, who has simply sucked the least? Let's start with something my vote actually counts for; the Starters:

Leastern Conference

G. John Wall, Washington Wizards
The East's guard scene is dangerously anemic this year; not only are perennial All-Stars Rajon Rondo and Derrick Rose goners, but Dwyane Wade's sat a quarter of this season, and it's showing both in the Heat's record, and LeBron James showing signs of fatigue for the first time in his life. Deron Williams' injuries have been the key contributor to Brooklyn's train-wreck season, and even heir apparent Kyrie Irving's stuck in reverse with Cleveland being all kinds of awful under Mike Brown.

So ring up a vote for Wall, by default the best guard in the East so far this season. He's averaging career highs in points, assists and steals, and while his overall shooting % is down slightly due to his sudden love of 3-pointers (3.8/game up from 0.9), he's at least managed to crack 32% from beyond the arc. While Wall might be one of the NBA's more egregious jump-shooters, he's a lightning-quick athletic beast who scores well near the hoop and becoming one of the NBA's better playmakers. This year, that makes him the most suitable candidate to suit up among East guards.

G. Kyrie Irving, Cleveland Cavaliers
I tried to give this spot to both Demar DeRozan and Lance Stephenson; the Cavs have been mostly putrid (only compounded by their League Pass announcers) and Kyrie continues to be one of the worst starting PGs in the NBA on the defensive end. Still, he's rebounded from a slow start under the constraints of Mike Brown, while no other guards in the East have truly stepped up to take what was his spot to lose.

Giving this spot to someone else would be as much punishing Irving for his franchise's ridiculous decisions this offseason (hiring Brown again, drafting Anthony Bennett, signing Andrew Bynum - although they could've done much worse than flipping him into a Luol Deng freeroll) as anything, and against this weak a field, it seems like too much.

F. Paul George, Indiana Pacers 
His numbers have tapered off slightly from a torrid start that had him in the thick of the MVP discussion, but George has firmly delivered on the promise he signaled last spring as an elite swingman. Both Indiana's go-to scorer and top perimeter defender, he's the man on the East's best team, making his presence here a given.

F. Carmelo Anthony, New York Knicks
It's no secret the Knicks have been God-awful this year, but if there's one person who can't really take any of the blame, it's Melo. Stat-wise, his season has been more or less on par with last year (a couple fewer points, a couple more rebounds, and basically identical %s), when he was garnering MVP buzz. Meanwhile, the team around him has basically imploded; from Tyson Chandler's leg injuries, to JR Smith's head injury, to the roster injury the Knicks suffered by acquiring Andrea Bargnani. It's mostly gone to shit, but few things haven't in the East this season .


F. LeBron James, Miami Heat
He's better at the game of basketball than anyone on Earth right now. Let's save some time and move along...

Bestern Conference

G. Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers
Even if CP3 won't be able to lace up for this year's game, it would be a theft not to acknowledge yet another brilliant season. Before his shoulder injury, Paul was his typical self; the most complete point guard on both sides of the ball, and the only NBA player averaging double-digit assists on the year.

G. Steph Curry, Golden State Warriors
One of the toughest decisions this year (other than picking at the leftovers of the East Guard Buffet Platter) was Steph Curry vs James Harden for the 2nd guard spot. Both the lead triggermen in high-octane offenses. Both are capable of suspect defense. Their teams have nearly identical records. And both are doing impressive numbers that leave little room to differ; in fact their PER is within .14 of each other.

The edge goes to Curry for his superiority as a scorer/playmaker, accounting for a higher clip from scoring+assists while turning the ball over at a lower rate. Curry also rebounds nearly as much as Harden from the PG spot, so yeah, I'm starting four point guards in the All-Star Game. Deal with it.

F. Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder There's one guy in each Conference who doesn't need an explanation. This is the West's.

F. Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves
The Wolves have been kind of a bummer this year, but kinda like Kyrie in Cleveland, it's hard to fault Love much. Beyond Kyrie, Love is having a monster 25/13/4 season as the 3rd-most efficient player in the NBA behind LeBron and Durant. And this is the All-Star Game.

F. LeMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trailblazers 
Having a career year for the West's surprise contender, Aldridge has emerged as perhaps the A's best midrange scorer, anchoring a Blazers offense that's, well, (sorry) blazing. Always one of the League's quieter stars, he's announced himself on the highest level very loudly.

(Write In: Miles Plumlee, Phoenix Suns)

As for the reserves, I don't happen to be coaching an NBA team at the moment, so my vote doesn't really mean much, but if I had a ballot, here's what it would look like:

Leastern Conference

G. Demar DeRozan, Toronto Raptors
Well, this happened. I'm not entirely sure how, but I'm voting a Toronto Raptor into the All-Star Game. DeRozan's been a consistent spark for the Raptors, not only becoming a legitimate first scorer in Rudy Gay's absence, but dialing up his defensive focus as T-Dot has begun taking the Atlantic by storm. Double D's been the go-to guy on - gulp - the East's third-best team so far, good enough for a Least nod.

G. Lance Stephenson, Indiana Pacers
Sudden triple-double machine Sir-Lance-Alot is racking up impressive numbers, confined within one of the NBA's slowest-paced teams, playing with the kind of swagger reminiscent of another Coney Island veteran. Lance has made 'em dance all season, and his emergence is one of several reasons why the Pacers are safely atop the East for now.

F. Chris Bosh, Miami Heat
Bosh, if nothing else, is staying balanced as an NBA entity. As he continues his seemingly eternal evolution as an awkward internet meme, and is on the butt end of endless jokes, his play leaves less and less room for criticism. His embracing of (and improvement in) the center position has allowed Miami to do what they do, so don't let the falling numbers fool you into thinking he can be excluded.

F. Paul Millsap, Atlanta Hawks
Millsap's developed a reputation as one of the NBA's most sneakily-skilled power forwards; an ace second-fiddle behind guys named "Al" in post tandems. Horford's pectoral injury has not only put P-Milly on an island as the lone interior scorer for the Hawks, but left a vacant spot on this roster for him to assume.

Like many names you're seeing here, the "All-Star" prefix may seem excessive, but understand what we're working with here.

F. Roy Hibbert, Indiana Pacers
It's fairly evident what Hibbert is at this point: a 12/8 guy who plays at a slightly higher level in the Playoffs, especially (and understandably) vs Miami. More valuable to Indiana, Hibbert is the new Dwight Howard; that interior force who disrupts everything around the hoop and forces many teams to alter their attack plan. It's because of him that "Verticality" is the second-trendiest NBA term behind "Corner Three" right now, and Indy's ruled the East enough to deserve an All-Star triad.

W.C. Luol Deng, Chicago Bulls Cleveland Cavaliers
I can't punish Luol for Derrick Rose's injury and recently being traded to a team that by no other measure deserves a second All-Star. Not in such a weak Conference. Deng's ability to deliver top-level play on both sides of the ball, with unwavering consistency, makes him one of the League's most undervalued players. It's a shame the Bulls didn't get more for him.

W.C. Andre Drummond, Detroit Pistons
Some may see this as mildly premature, but again, this is this season's Eastern Conference, and the pickin's for healthy and worthy All-Stars have maybe never been slimmer. Meanwhile, Drummond's been beasting for Detroit, emerging as one of the A's best young big men in his first season as a starter. You just have to ignore certain things in the East, like Drummond's 38% foul shooting, or how only 27% of the Conference is over .500.

Snub Squad (if such a thing exists for the East): Kemba Walker, Jeff Teague, Greg Monroe, Kyle Lowry, Joakim Noah, Dwyane Wade, Michael Carter-Williams

Bestern Conference

G. James Harden, Houston Rockets
As explained above, almost had Harden starting, but ultimately Steph Curry's just more dynamic on offense and more influential to what makes his team successful. Not to knock Harden; 25/5/5 on a good West team is a strong season, especially with individual scoring rates falling with the rise of metrics-based analysis.

G. Tony Parker, F. Tim Duncan, San Antonio SpursNow that all of us have finally gotten used to the idea that the Spurs aren't going to fall off until Parker and Tim Duncan's appendages do, it's only right that the best team in the West be properly repped for its methodical excellence. They've been doing what Miami's trying this year by pacing themselves 'til the Playoffs for several seasons now. It shows in that they're keeping their stars fresh, while sitting atop the far tougher Conference. With Pop coaching again, it's only appropriate.

F. Blake Griffin, Los Angeles ClippersAnyone who still thinks of Blake Griffin as a one-dimensional athletic finisher needs to wake up to the progress he's steadily made. This season in particular has seen marked improvements in his toughness, jump-shooting, decision making, passing, and attention on defense under Doc Rivers. He's not quite on the Love/Aldridge level, but he's not far beneath it.

F. Dwight Howard, Houston RocketsHoward's days as the undisputed ruler of the NBA Paint may be behind him, but this season he's denied those who hinted at his demise, by turning back the clock - slightly - with a rejuvenated game hardly seen with the Lakers. If Marc Gasol had been healthy, this spot would've been a fight, but D12's back in All-Star form.

W.C. Damian Lillard, Portland TrailblazersThe West bench wouldn't be complete without Dame Dash; a terror for the League's best offense, and saving his best play for the most crucial moments. He remains a defensive liability in most matchups, but Lillard propels the Blazers to the tune of 109ppg - most since the D'Antoni Suns - and Portland's 2nd in the West.

W.C. Anthony Davis, New Orleans Hornets
With the final spot on the West roster, I'm invoking the Kevin Love clause yet again, because Davis is exploding in his second season as a two-way franchise force, despite the Pelicans' reluctance to, er, take flight. Regardless if his team doesn't really deserve the recognition, this is a game that's supposed to honor the NBA's best players and at a certain point, you have to draw the line. And they're hosting All-Star Weekend, which apparently means something, so here he is.

Snub Squad: DeMarcus Cousins, Dirk Nowitzki, Goran Dragic/Eric Bledsoe, Serge Ibaka, Klay Thompson, Monta Ellis, Ty Lawson

From Luol to Love - Trade Season

Halfway through 2014's first month, the NBA regular season's inching through a relative lull; that annual stretch after the early-season excitement, just before the All-Star break, where plenty of focus shifts to the trade wire. Teams like the Spurs and Heat are pacing themselves, others are waiting to heal up, and a good portion of the League is still trying to figure out whether they should be winning games. The season's most exciting stretch won't truly begin until after the Trade Deadline and ensuing (or in Andrew Bynum's case preceding) waived-player frenzy.

Look for next month's Deadline to be much more aggressive than last year's anti-climactic dud. Not only are a few intriguing players being openly shopped around, but with several teams in You Should Probably Trade Your Star Mode, the potential for big names to shift the NBA's landscape along with area codes is very viable. Hell, if Luol Deng can be had for cap relief and a bunch of non-lottery picks, it might be open season.

- The Deng trade was an unfortunate means to an end for the Bulls, whose season was destroyed along with Derrick Rose's meniscus, and were owned by someone too cheap to give a two-way All-Star the same kind of money as Carlos Boozer. So instead, with Deng almost surely bolting in the summer, the Bulls cashed him in for a chance to dodge the Repeater Tax and get a head start on the rebuild.

I don't think I'm stretching much here when I say the Bulls could've, and should've, got more out of this deal. Had they waited closer to the deadline, this offer from the Cavs - who are kind of up Shit's Creek right now - would've still been there, and more than likely trounced by a team looking to do more than transplant Deng for a few months, totally unsure if he'll re-sign.

Chicago screwed themselves twice (well, three times if you count the Boozer signing) by souring Luol, and then panic-trading him too quickly for returns that are unlikely to ever equate what Deng brought to the table.

- The late picks/swap rights Chicago got back for Deng call to mind an element of analysis that I've found usually missing from NBA coverage in this era of advanced metrics, especially amid the Tank Brigade, and with all the rage about the CBA, small market teams, Moneyball, Moreyball and everything else:

Draft Picks and Cap Space need to be valued within the context of the GMs that wield them, and very seldom is this discussed viably as a catalyst in trades. Not all tools are equal in different hands, and the weight these things carry in trades seems to be very general.

Take for example, the Oklahoma City Thunder. They got lucky to land Durant, but have also nailed every pick under Sam Presti, from board-toppers like James Harden and Russell Westbrook, to late-first-round steals Reggie Jackson and Serge Ibaka. They've built a top-tier team almost exclusively from the Draft, especially considering they've gotten the worse end of their biggest trades.

Then there's the contrast, say the Immortal David Kahn, or even former Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo, who has enough connections and reputation-bloating that he'll likely be back in a front office at some point. Colangelo scored relative hits with DeMar DeRozan and Jonas Valanciunas, but reached for Andrea Bargnani first overall (when this guy was the likely top pick), drafted Roy Hibbert and immediately traded him, and took Terrence Ross when Andre Drummond had inexplicably slid into his lap. All during an era where Toronto was crying for any kind of interior presence.

Put simply: Some teams are much better than others at drafting, and this has to be kept in mind when evaluating every transaction. A "Presti Pick" is much different from a "Jordan Pick". Lottery Picks aren't infallible, and even a late selection is worth a lot more, say, to the Spurs, than it would be to most franchises. (Basically, if you trade any draft pick to the Spurs, you're a moron).

This goes even more so for Cap Space, which is a far more calculated gamble, as teams have much better concepts of a player's value, and aren't relying on ping-pong balls to make or break them. Again, this measure should be mostly appraised by a front office's ability to pick the right players, and in some cases the team's location and reputation.

The room to maneuver and sign free agents is worth a lot more to crafty grinder with a plan like Daryl Morey or Masai Ujiri, than to someone like Joe Dumars - who's now twice tried to re-build the Pistons through Free Agency without really improving them either time - or whoever might be running the Knicks at the time.

It's all relative, and in an era where motion-sensor cameras are now quantifying every facet of the NBA, I'm surprised this concept hasn't become more standard.

- Back to David Kahn, as he's now haunting the Minnesota Timberwolves from the grave, having not only given them a shorter clock within which to build around Kevin Love, but damaged his star's relationship with the team seemingly beyond repair, even after his firing.

Love lashed out at the under-achieving Wolves last week, the latest in a Thabo Sefolosha's-Arms-long line of public criticisms that stemmed from Kahn's um, management, but appear to still be paving the runway for Love's escape.

(KAAAAAHHHHHHNNNNN!)

The move for Minny now should clearly be to trade The Love Below this season, before a team with many glaring flaws attempts to rebuild around an unhappy player who's leaving them in 18 months. Love wants to contend, the Wolves are far from it, and the longer they hold onto him, the more opposing GMs can take advantage of them, their leverage decreasing as his departure inches closer.

Acting now gives Minny the edge, capitalizing on the many teams that want Love's services, and forcing suitors to up the ante rather than calling them with a "You're Losing Him For Nothing This Summer, Take What You Can Get" kind of offer. This guy is a borderline Top-5 player; trading him now sucks but he's by far the most coveted "available" asset in the NBA right now. Minnesota can set themselves up very well for the future, and this would be a huge hand to misplay...

Rising Suns: Grabbing Life by the Hornacek

Happy New Year Everyone!

Newly-minted 2014 marks Basketball Banter's fifth anniversary; somehow I've managed to keep people interested in my esoteric, convoluted NBA monologues for half a decade.

Along the way Banter's seen many changes; from its infancy as my disorganized rants, to regular segments like the Water Cooler, Top 9s and POWER RANKINGS!!, to its placement on the back-burner after I signed on to write for BallOverAll.com. Through it all, the one thing that's kept it going has been the people supporting it; you guys are awesome and here's to much more Banter.

A lot of zany shit is going on in the NBA this season, but perhaps nothing has been as dramatically quizzical as the completely illogical emergence of the Phoenix Suns as a legitimate West Playoff team. So to kick off 2014, here's some thoughts on the most Banter-worthy squad so far this season:

Jeff Hornacek has been famous for strokes over the years; both the subtle brush “hello” to his kids before every foul shot, and the smooth follow-through of his jumper.

As familiar as we became with those, it’s Hornacek’s stroke of brilliance with the Phoenix Suns this season that’s standing out the most, taking what many pegged among the Western Conference’s very worst teams to the thick of the Playoff hunt in his first season.

Monday night, the Suns rolled into L.A. to face their Division-leading Clippers – one of those “statement games” – and ran them out of Staples Center with a vicious lesson in defensive rotation, and ball movement.

They’re now a half-game behind the Artists Formerly Known as Lob City, and forcing everyone to not only take them very seriously, but ask just how the hell this is happening. Nothing about this team makes sense really, they’re not supposed to be good: It starts in the backcourt where they play two point guards, one of whom had no experience with a starting unit prior to November. Their forward rotation is comprised of journeymen, identical twins, and a guy who missed all of last season. They salary-dumped their only established center for an injury liability who hasn’t dressed yet.

And somehow they’re threatening for homecourt when the West has never been tougher; the result of things going right in too many places for Hornacek not to be credited with an elite NBA coaching debut.

It’s almost unprecedented; virtually every player in Phoenix’s rotation is enjoying a career year; Dragic and Bledsoe look like All-Stars, while the latter is probably the MIP at this point. PJ Tucker has broken out as a lockdown perimeter guy. Miles Plumlee warmed the cold Indiana bench last year, and is now channelling Shawn Kemp. The Morris’ are sporadically dangerous. Gerald Green is suddenly much more than the NBA’s best Uncontested Fast Break Finisher. It’s contagious.

Not only has Hornacek motivated a team that had absolutely no reason to believe in itself to play with balanced poise, but used a system of creative lineups to emphasize his team’s strengths. They space the floor incredibly well on offense and collapse with suffocation on the other end. Heavy on athleticism and short on size, Phoenix is often playing a Miami-style game of pressure-and-rotate. This forces lots of turnovers and lets their young legs exploit the open court.

Most of their halfcourt sets feature a four-out perimeter with both Frye and Morris-Squared serving as stretch threats, Bledsoe slashing from one wing and Dragic doing both from the other. This not only gives the Suns plenty of room to swing for open looks, but doesn’t hurt them on D; Morris-Squared can guard bigger wings, Bledsoe can lock up virtually any guard, and the entire team rotates well enough to go zone whenever it suits them.

The Suns are a breath of fresh air in this NBA era of “Big 3s” and Big Markets; they look like a finely-tuned college team, consistently executing with that token “want it more” effort, and the synergy only purely bred from a team without stars that knows they need to work together. They’ve been encouraging enough that not a single eyelash has been bat about the Lottery pick they’re apparently playing themselves out of.

While the season’s gotten off to a hotter start for the Suns than anyone could’ve fathomed, a small part of the success has to come from the surprise factor they’ll no longer be able to take advantage of. Phoenix has a rather large target on them after leaving a trail of Western corpses in their wake; teams will be circling the calendar, reviewing tape, resting up and certainly not underestimating the Rising Suns.

Hornacek’s debut season will only thicken as more experienced coaches unload their arsenal of tricks on his unconventionally awesome team, but the honeymoon is over, the Suns are for real, and every indication is that this team is in good hands.  

The NBA's Best White Centers

A few weeks back, I had the rare honor of paying tribute to professional basketball's most often-humbled genus - the White Center - with a "Best Of" list for BallOverAll.com.

Unfortunately, the site underwent a management shift as the piece sat on the publishing desk, and it was lost in the shuffle and knocked to the floor like Shawn Bradley beneath a two-handed tomahawk.

So instead of letting this list grow moss, I'm tossing it up here as some Bonus Banter. Enjoy:

The NBA’s first true superstar was a dominant white center, but in the fifty-plus years since George Mikan crushed the Association’s opening era, the game has changed dramatically. It has not been kind to the pale-toned big man.

Nowadays stereotyped as plodding, clumsy poster shots waiting to happen, the white center’s reputation has fallen considerably. Speed, strength and skill have caught up to height, altering the game and reducing the edge of the (typically) least-athletic players on the floor.

So while the Jeff Witheys of the World become famous for being viciously dunked on (and then having Shaq accidentally call him “Jeff WHITEY!” several times on TV), here’s a nod to the guys holding down the pivot below the rim: the NBA’s Best White Centers

(Apologies to: Enes Kanter, Robin Lopez, Jason Smith, and Omer Asik, at least until he escapes Dwight Howard Island via trade)

8. Tiago Splitter
Like so many Spurs before him, Splitter came to the NBA a seasoned veteran of international play, and it took him little time to become a valuable cog in San Antonio’s rotation.

Splitter’s game is a versatile mix of slightly-above mediocrity. He’s a jack of all trades, who isn’t looked to regularly for big contributions by Gregg Popovich, but combines deft movement for his size with solid passing, finishing, and interior defense to complement Tim Duncan nicely.

Any player who’s been a part of the Spurs’ System for this long knows about giving what the team needs, and Splitter has rarely failed to deliver over several seasons of deep Playoff success.

7. Spencer Hawes
Hawes spent several seasons trying to find his footing for the up-and-coming Sixers; too inconsistent from outside and too soft in the paint, he was a man without a home on a team without much of an identity.

This season, the Sixers had a very clear identity: tanking in the most glorious way possible. As such, Hawes has seen the roster around him erode, expectations shrink, and Philly’s pace of play skyrocket.

Within the loose confines of this free-wheeling flow, he’s played himself onto this list, putting up career-average-crippling numbers of 17/10/3 with 1.5 blocks and a Top-30 PER of 20.87 (*has since fallen to 15/9 and 18.22). Only time will tell if Hawes can keep this up, but his play is more confident than ever, and it’s a big reason why the Sixers haven’t been nearly as bad as predicted.

6. Nikola Pekovic
Coming out of nowhere (well, Montenegro, but in NBA terms, nowhere) for the T-Wolves two years ago, Pekovic carried the intimidating look of a GTA henchman, and developed a reputation for his bruising, physical presence.

Carrying more mass than any current player, Pekovic isn’t a lumbering Oliver Miller-type obstruction. While he’s quite vertically challenged and offers little in the way of rim protection, Pek is a devastating finisher close to the hoop, who is skilled on the boards and makes up for his lack of athleticism by sheer size and smart positioning.

His stats are downsloping now that the best power forward in the NBA is back sharing his frontcourt, but Pekovic remains a vital part of the Wolves’ lineup. He’s one of a dying breed of physical NBA enforcers, but brings enough skill to make that role secondary.

5. Marcin Gortat
The Polish Hammer has been one of the NBA’s most consistently-underrated players, first buried beneath Dwight Howard’s minutes and drama in Orlando, and then relegated to the sudden abyss of the Phoenix Suns.

Claimed from the Suns’ liquidation sale by an ostensible “team on the rise”, Gortat helps form a dangerous-when-healthy starting core in Washington. With a nice scoring touch inside ten feet, and providing a strong backbone to a lineup short on good defenders with above-average shot disruption. He plays within himself and does it very well, bringing plenty to the court and taking little away.

Flirting with a double-double average, Gortat’s proving himself as more than a “good stats/awful team” guy, with one of the more likely squads to get it together in the laughably sad Eastern Conference.

4. Nikola Vucevic
At the time it seemed dubious: Orlando was giving up Dwight Howard – the undisputed best center in the NBA back then – and getting no All-Stars back. Well, 18 months later, “Things Done Changed”.

In a somewhat-unlikely turn, the Magic became the obvious winners of the trade after the Lakers and Sixers had total Hindenburg seasons and Vucevic – who flashed solid skills as a rookie – hit the Sophomore Speedway and instantly became a versatile scorer and one of the NBA’s best rebounders. Not to mention he’s the only center acquired in that deal who’s still with the team.

With upside to spare, the other Nik from Montenegro gave Orlando what Dwight couldn’t decide if he wanted to be: a center they could build a winning franchise around.

3. Pau Gasol
Long the NBA and Global standard for fair-skinned big men, Gasol the Elder is an all-around beast who’s adjusted to playing largely out-of-position for a Lakers team he vaulted to two rings with his arrival.

While his body’s begun to slow down after twelve years with the Grizzlies and Lakers – not to mention a Yao Ming-like level of international play – Pau remains a multi-faceted force who brings the skill and high intelligence that will continue to make him effective as he grows older.

With the Lakers going nowhere fast this season, and Gasol’s contract on its last legs, there’s no telling what the future holds for him. But count on him to age gracefully, hopefully chasing a few more rings to cement his Hall of Fame legacy.

2. Brook Lopez
When the Nets drafted Brook Lopez 10^th overall in 2008, few were thinking “this guy might be the NBA’s best low post scorer someday”. Sure enough, here we are five years later, and Lopez is – unless you count this guy,which some might see as unfair – one of the NBA’s best two or three best low post scorers.

His rebounding woes are well chronicled and confounding; Lopez is a reasonably athletic legit seven-footer, who for whatever reason doesn’t possess the same board-hungry gene as his own twin brother. Despite this, he can still disrupt shots near the rim (career 1.8 blocks) and moves better than most seven footers across and up the floor.

His IQ on offense belies his rebounding awareness; Lopez plays with purpose and scores at a high clip in an array of ways. He screens well, can pass out of double teams, and even grabs an impressive rate of his paltry board totals on his own team’s misses. This Cuban-Caucasian Sensation has been one of the many standouts of a sneaky-good ’08 Draft Class.

1. Marc Gasol

The Memphis Grizzlies’ salary-dump of Pau Gasol to the Lakers in 2008 was widely-bashed as one of the worst ever; L.A. gave up what seemed like painfully little to acquire an All-Star, and the final piece to the Title puzzle.

In one of sports’ ultimate ironies, Gasol’s own “little” brother would eventually turn those notions on their heads, evolving from unknown prospect into not only the best white center in the NBA, but in the eyes of many, the League’s best center, period.

Marcy Marc does it all for the Grizz; he scores pretty much at will from anywhere inside 18 feet with a crafty mix of face up/back down moves, is the best playmaking big man right now by a wide margin, and also happens to be the reigning DPOY as the backbone of Memphis’ suffocating #GNG defense.

George Mikan would be proud.