The Rest of the Best: 2013 All-Star Reserves

I'm trying to stay ahead of the curve here; Banter's All-Star reserve ballot is being served up as a sequel to the starters before the coaches screwball everything and I have to write a column about why DeAndre Jordan is an All-Star.

First though, I've been taking some heat from a few readers about a couple of my selections as starters, namely Paul George over Dwyane Wade and Kobe Bryant getting "snubbed" by James Harden. I'll be the first to admit: I'm a huge hater of "reputation votes" and tried to find some underlying bias in these decisions, but still feel as though those two deserve to be there.

Through my jaded eyes, the All-Star game is a representation of the NBA season thus far, and should be an opportunity for the players who've defined it to be celebrated. It's not about who the better player is, it's about who has mattered more this season, that's George and Harden in this case. Let's travel back to the alternate universe where I decide the NBA All-Stars as I explain:

East Reserves

Dwyane Wade
Sure Dwyane Wade is a better player than Paul George, but Miami has been somewhat underwhelming at times this season, and never has it been more apparent that he's the second-best player on his team. Meanwhile, George's sudden eruption after their "franchise" guy went down and their "max" player couldn't cut it as a two-way focal point is the main reason Indiana's leading the Central. He's their leading scorer, gives them 8 rebounds/game from the 3-spot, and - on the League's #1 rated defensive team - is the most versatile, and probably best defender.

Kyrie Irving
Cleveland might be one of the NBA's worst teams, but Irving is without question one of its best young talents and belongs in the All-Star game not only on the merits of his stellar offensive play this season, but as an exciting, dynamic franchise talent that has loudly declared his arrival. There's only so much of a "his team's terrible" argument one can make to keep a player this skilled and - from the League's perspective -marketable out of the lineup (not that this should really influence things, but it's like Blake Griffin's nod as a rookie; it's good for the game).

Luol Deng
The answer to all of the following questions is: Luol Deng

Who is the only player in the NBA logging over 40 minutes/game? ____________

Who has been the best two-way player for a Bulls team that's pacing itself extremely well while their MVP heals up? _____________

Who is probably the most under-rated player in the entire League? ______________ (as evidenced by Shane Battier snaring more votes than him. Seriously)

Who unquestionably deserves a spot on this bench? ______________

There shouldn't really be any more questions.

Tyson Chandler
The 2nd-most important component to the Knicks' sudden dominance, Chandler has been a complete package, obviously defending at an All-World level while upping his scoring and leading the League in FG% by a simply astounding margin. There's an extremely valid case to be made that he should be starting, which even three years ago would've been an absurd notion. As late bloomers go, Chandler's been a stunning surprise, and yet another player Mark Cuban will likely eternally regret not re-signing.

Joakim Noah
Arguably as crucial to the Bulls' early success has been Noah's ever-consistent energy and defensive presence; he anchors an elite defense, disrupting everything around the basket with an irritating tenacity, and doing everything on offense excellently, save for actually putting the ball in the basket. Noah will likely never be a #2.... or 3 scoring option, but has increased his offensive production in Rose's absence, averaging career-highs in scoring and assists (as well as blocks and steals) to help fill the void.


Deron Williams
After some December faltering and Avery Johnson being taken out by Prokorov's elite squad of  covert-ops assassins, Brooklyn's new team has been reeling off some decent-to-impressive games, with Williams finally hitting shots and playing with the kind of swagger he used to show off in Utah before Sloangate. I don't think "over-rated" is the word, but as skilled as he is, it seems absurd that there was ever debate between him over Chris Paul.

Chris Bosh
The final spot on this roster came down to Bosh and Jrue Holiday, and while Holiday is in the midst of a breakout year that will put him in the thick of the MIP conversation all season, Kyrie Irving pretty much stole all his "awesome young point guard on a crappy team" thunder, and having the point guard of a 2nd sub-.500 team here seemed redundant. On the flipside, Bosh - a player who was never known for his toughness or versatility on defense - has manned up this season and spent most of his time effectively playing center, holding his own and producing impressively, while allowing Miami to maintain its optimal lineups. I rarely find room to compliment Bosh, but his and Dwyane Wade's contributions this season are the epitome of "less is more" in terms of the box score.

West Reserves

Kobe Bryant
So, about the whole Kobe thing: both Harden and Bryant are having amazing seasons, and that the Mamba is still doing it at this rate, at this age, is truly remarkable. But to me, this isn't even much of a question. Kobe's been visibly passive on D this year while still unloading on offense; a once-elite defender - the leader of these Lakers - selectively coasting to save energy for offense, on a team whose defensive issues have highlighted what is the most universally disappointing season of any NBA team. All Harden's done is put up similar numbers while still being a great defender, for a team with a better record and much less talent, who are performing above anyone's expectations largely because of him. I'm not sure what other than the weight of Kobe's name earns him the starter's nod, but here he is, an All-Star for the 482nd consecutive season.

Russell Westbrook
There's a lot of things you can say about Russell Westbrook, many of which used to be legitimately negative. As the seasons pass, those items are being steadily eradicated and have left us with the second-best point in the NBA this season. He's the most athletic guard in the League. He's a fearless competitor who plays hard every night (and I do mean every night; he hasn't missed a game in his career yet). He does many things at an elite level, always had the confidence to exert himself when needed, and is developing a much better sense of when to do so. He doesn't even turn the ball over that much anymore. He's a Top-10 player, helping to lead the NBA's best team this season. He's guaranteed not to mail in the All-Star Game and throw down 2 or 3 awesome dunks. Enough said. (for those of you who think I actually use dunks as All-Star criteria, I'm merely mentioning it as icing on the cake, honey on the blunt, chrome on the Bugatti, whatever lingo you like to use)

Blake Griffin
So, for those of you who thought this may have been some insane meta-joke by David Stern on his way out, the Clippers are actually awesome now, and Griffin's been his usual All-Star self. Though his numbers are down (on a team that's so deep their most legitimate rotation issue is finding minutes for everyone within the flow of the game) he's harnessing his athleticism and - especially on defense - playing with more control and focus. As for in-game dunk potential, well, when one's jaw-dropping poster shots have almost become redundant, one's presence in an event with defense as lazy as the All-Star Game is a must.

David Lee
Who needs Andrew Bogut? Lee's larger-than-life play for the surprise of the season makes him a must on the West bench. There's almost a certain algorithm at play here: ~20/10 Guy + Massively Over-Achieving Team + Playoff Solidification + Tough Conference - All-Star Caliber (when healthy) Center = All-Star Appearance. Easy math.

Zach Randolph
People thought Z-Bo was finished. People thought he couldn't be the same player after his injury. People were fucking wrong. Randolph has been the definition of a beast this season with his constant low-post assault of the basket and boards. He gives up quite a bit height and athleticism-wise to most NBA 4s, but makes up for it with raw hustle and pure positioning, leading all non-Dwights in rebounding and serving as the Grizzlies' go-to guy in a balanced attack.

Speaking of Dwight, you may notice he's not here, which I had brief second thoughts about, but don't really regret. Yes, he's been much more impressive over the past couple of weeks, but I haven't forgotten the first month and a half of the season when he was a complete shell of himself, nor can I look beyond the Lakers' utter dud of a campaign and honestly say they deserve a second player here. Sorry, but if the All-Star game is at all a "representation of the season thus far", the Lakers should be sweeping the floor on dead balls after they mowed down so many headlines, didn't hire Phil, and have sucked this much.

Stephen Curry
Like Lee, Curry has been lights-out for a Golden State team that's putting everyone's preseason predictions to shame, and most of the Western Conference on watch. He scores nearly at will, is one of the NBA's most underrated playmakers, and makes up for any size he gives up on D with lightning lateral quickness. The freedom he's been afforded in the backcourt this year without Monta Ellis has allowed him to truly find his role, and leaving no doubt that his team kept the right man.

LaMarcus Aldridge
Honestly, this feels like a bit of a freeroll since Kevin Love's knuckle pushups are the only reason this spot's available to begin with, but lost amidst the shuffling storylines and franchise-altering injuries, is the reality that the Blazers are above .500 in the West, and shallower than Kim Kardashian. Lamarcus Aldridge is still really, really good, and giving this team's fans just one reason not to hang themselves. So for trucking it out, being consistently awesome, and not making the slightest bit of pretentious media rumble about your team's long-term predicament, this spot's all yours Mr. Aldridge. See ya in Houston.

My 2013 All Star Ballot

Voting for the NBA All-Stars is always a painful process for me.

While it only takes a couple of minutes, and doesn't cost a penny, it's an attempt to put forth an honest assessment of the NBA season so far; casting a vote for the players I truly feel deserve to be there, that generally represents a flawed system. I know any attempt to have the most deserving players in the game will be bastardized.

See, anyone with a rational understanding of basketball and/or politics knows that NBA All-Star voting is no less a popularity contest than a 5th Grade class president election. Fans of all ages, exposures to the game, and levels of bias/education/intelligence have a say as to who starts (as it technically should be in any democracy) but it all too often sees the wrong players donning the All-Star threads (for dramatic examples see Ming, Yao and Carter, Vincent Lamar).

To make matters worse, both fans and coaches (who vote for reserves and often suffer from the same bias/ineptitude issues) were shackled by position restrictions that mandated the inclusion of dubious players. Thankfully, the League has spared us the Jamal Magloire Experience this year and abandoned the forced inclusion of centers, finally realizing that evolving athleticism has almost caught up with size and a lot of their best players aren't big men anymore.

While this revelation takes some of the pain away, it still numbs my brain to know that 218,246 people think Kevin Garnett deserves to be starting (as he likely will be), and Ray Allen has the 5th-most votes of any guard in the East. Before I vomit all over my keyboard and can't write the rest of this, let's get to the rational side of the argument (I know mine's just an opinion too, but at least it's thought out and backed up), Banter's 2013 All-Star Ballot:

EAST

Lebron James
I'll get the obvious one out of the way after Lebron spent 2012 jamming his size 17 signature Nikes down every hater in the World's throat and shows no signs of his reign ending anytime soon, now that he's shooting 3's at a 40%+ clip and looking even more unguardable. He's done settling the "best player on Earth" status, so while he works on the "best of all time" spot, he's a lock for this game.

Carmelo Anthony
Aside from a certain incident involving a bus and some Honey Nut Cheerios, 'Melo's been everything the skeptical masses demanded from him coming into this season from a basketball standpoint. He's still scoring at an All-World rate, but within the flow of his team's offense and not to the detriment of New York's win total, which is higher at this point in the season than it's been since Patrick Ewing was in town. It was a given that fans would be voting him in anyway, but unlike last year, Anthony has a positive leader on an East contender, making his place here well-earned.

Josh Smith
There were several deserving big men for this spot (Tyson Chandler and Joakim Noah most notably) but consider my inclusion of three swing forwards in the East's frontcourt as a slight "Fuck You" to the NBA for the years lacking centers appearing in this game. Smith was a deserving candidate last year, but had his spot given to his own overrated teammate by the coaches. Now that Joe Johnson's being paid too much money by another team, Smith has singled himself out as the biggest reason why Atlanta's performing at a level above last season, and everyone's expectations. He's an all-around beast of an athlete who stuffs stat sheets like few others and will be good for at least a few jaw-droppers when he makes his first All-Star appearance (keep in mind this guy tried to do a between-the-legs dunk in a playoff game once).

Paul George
Speaking of athletic stat-stuffers, George has come into his own this year as the bona-fide Man on the Pacers. Long-considered their most talented player, PG's rise was somewhat hesitant after Danny Granger went down and left a scoring void that he was capable of filling, but hadn't been called upon to at the pro level. When it became apparent that newly-minted Max-Man Roy Hibbert wasn't getting the job done, George came out in beast mode, not only filling the scoring void, but doing just about everything for the Pacers, who still lead the Central despite the absence of their most accomplished player. George has been a capable scorer from inside and out, and will only become more dangerous as his confidence grows, showing enough stride over the past couple months to reduce Indiana's former All-Star swingman to trade bait.

Rajon Rondo
Stat-padding aside, Rondo's been by far the best point guard in the East so far this season, and although it's becoming apparent he'll likely never be a consistent outside threat or decent free-throw shooter, he affects the game in so many other ways that borderline on dominance. His awkward effectiveness is only heightened by the fact that he both looks and plays like an extra-terrestrial, but there's no denial of his being elite on both sides of the ball, and though Boston's typical early-season quagmire's been murky this year, Rondo still has to be here.

WEST 

Tim Duncan
The Spurs are again defiantly staring Father Time in the face, rocking a top-3 record in the West and looking every bit like the legit Title threat we've learned not to count them out as. At the forefront of this (all respect due to Tony Parker) has been Duncan's trademark methodical brilliance, which to still be doing at his age, after so many deep playoffs runs, is just remarkable. There really isn't much to go on about here, Duncan's been an elite NBA player for longer than most of us can vividly remember, and his regulated-minutes numbers are incredible for one of the League's most dangerous teams. He's blocking 2.6 shots/game this year. In 30 mins. At age 36. Seriously.

Kevin Durant
One of two no-brainers in the West, Durant has been playing above adjectives as OKC shook off the sudden James Harden trade, started completely obliterating teams at Durant's whim, and now look like the favorites in June. He's taken his D to another level and is fucking with the offensive Holy Grail of .50/.40/.90. If you cast a ballot that didn't have his name on it, you should try watching curling, you're not a basketball fan.

Marc Gasol
Either Gasol or Zach Randolph had to be here, and choosing between the two was relatively difficult. It ultimately came down to Gasol's versatility: he's a capable scorer who's also the best playmaking big man in the NBA and the backbone of a defense that ranks near the top of every major stat category league-wide. Randolph might be Memphis' go-to guy in the clutch, and he's a couple of monster nights that have single-handedly won them games, but Gasol's subtle brilliance is more important to the Grizzlies in an all-around sense, and the once-infamously one-sided trade that saw him swapped for his brother has been re-written.

Chris Paul
As increasingly difficult as it is to wrap my head around the concept that the Los Angeles Clippers have the 2nd-best record in the NBA, there should be little doubt in the ability of this young man to bring out the best in even the most historically flawed franchise in pro sports. Paul's credentials really don't need to be repeated; he's by a wide margin the League's best quarterback, and his presence gave the stingiest billionaire in the World enough confidence to invest in this team and provide a pleasant contrast to the depressing mess going on with LA's other team.

James Harden
The irony is that BY FAR the toughest decision on this ballot was choosing between Harden and his former OKC running mate, Russell Westbrook. The reality is that Harden has been an absolute monster on Houston so far, completely justifying his unwillingness to take less money from the Thunder by proving himself  as an elite 2-way player that a franchise can build around; exactly the kind of player Houston had been trying to land for years, and the only reason they'll be challenging for a playoff spot down the stretch. The further irony, of course, being that after several seasons of All-Star searching after Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming drifted away, Rockets fans will get to see Harden rep their team in the big game on their home floor.

Putting the NY in Anthony

Carmelo Anthony is at what many would call a "crossroads" in his now decade-old NBA career.

Blessed with talent that saw him run step-for-step to the finish of an ROY race with a player currently being legitimately questioned as the best ever, Anthony has faded somewhat amid his star-studded Draft class, perceived by many as "only a scorer", "a me-first player", "he hasn't grown up", "he doesn't make his teammates better", or most damning "he doesn't win".

Just as those perhaps jaded reputations appeared ready to manifest themselves - coming off Anthony's most disappointing season, this was seen by many as his year to put up or shut up as an elite NBA player - Melo came out and beasted the season's opening quarter, legitimately putting his name in the MVP debate for the first time in years by leading the Knicks to a 23-10 mark heading into last night's home showdown with the Celtics. He was playing more inspired defense, passing more, playing within the flow of the game and attacking from the inside/out as defenses and the needs of his team dictated. More importantly, Melo was having fun, feeding off his teammates, and winning; he was beginning to look like a leader.

As most of you probably know by now, things didn't generally go very well for the Knicks last night, for three reasons:

1) They let an aging Celtics team employ their just-as-aging bullying tactics against them, gaining a mental upper edge (in what is now an absolute rivalry) through physical play and merciless Kevin Garnett-fueled vitriol to offset the absence of their best player.

2) They allowed said Celtics team - who have looked quite lost for most of this season - to beat them on their home floor.

3) Following the game, Melo decided to try and confront the Celtics (it appears Garnett in particular) not only outside the locker room, but on the way to their team bus, in an apparent attempt to show them that he's either "hard as fuck" or a very sore loser, which regardless of intent is bad for its own set of reasons:

a) It was videotaped, all over ESPN and Twitter within the hour, and surely drawing tons of negative attention to the Knicks, and in general the NBA (any time "police were on hand as a precaution" to get a basketball team to its bus, people tend to look at it negatively).

b) Emperor Palpatine, sorry David Stern in his increasing senility will probably suspend Melo for 15 games and fine him $5 million as he continues his "Fuck You, I Made You" Retirement Tour, harshly penalizing anyone who's dared defy his Orwellian reign.

c) This says a lot about who Carmelo Anthony still is. And frankly, it's not good. While he's putting it together on the court this year, a childish mentality still prevails: "It was like being in the schoolyard" recalls one witness.

Melo certainly hasn't helped himself much over the years.

This incident adds itself to portfolio that would make any self-respecting professional (or amateur criminal) blush: a vicious sucker-punch in the middle of an in-game skirmish followed by his running away like a scared rabbit, a DUI arrest following his worst game of the season, an appearance in a DVD bootlegged in his native Baltimore that advocated violence against those who co-operated with police, a confirmed affair with a teammates' wife, a well-publicized bar fight with someone approaching his own wife, and an arrest at an airport for marijuana possession that was cleared when his friend "claimed he owned the bag" (now go ahead, try and figure out which of those colorful moments I just made up).

This isn't a matter of basketball; the man's clearly very talented. It's a matter of being a man at all; not acting like a child. It's realizing that you're not in the schoolyard anymore, but on a professional sports team, hell, in the highest-profile city in the World, and that people are tired of asking "when will he just get it?".

Melo's spent most of his career cultivating an image of on-court selfishness, strongly buoyed by his off-court antics. When things seemed to turn the corner basketball-wise this season, the evident hope was that he'd, for lack of more eloquent deliveries, stop being such an idiot. I'm sure he thought he was being "hard" last night, letting the Celtics know he wouldn't back down or be rattled, but he showed not only that he is very rattled by a not-even-midseason loss, but that he's not yet ready to put the team above himself. He might've looked like a leader the past couple months, but this is hardly evidence of it.

What a truly effective leader does in that situation is highly subjective and dependent on those he leads, but pretty much universally dubious would be to draw more attention to the loss - and the whole organization - in a negative light through a selfish act that drums up a whole new round of questions about your character.

This obviously comes at an inopportune time for New York, who seemed to be in the midst of a dream season, and are now seeing the first of seemingly increasingly inevitable signs that something about the Knicks will come undone, be it Patrick Ewing's knees, Isiah Thomas' sanity, James Dolan's chequebook, or Michael Jordan's sense of mercy.

For Melo's Conscience not to add itself to that list of reprehensible Manhattan basketball terms, he needs to put himself in perspective here; realize the importance of his behavior off the court, as well as on it. His reputation is on the line, and even if that doesn't worry him, the balance of millions of dollars, the hopes of millions of fans, and the fate of a franchise is. He needs to embody a more mature mentality, one that focuses on beating KG on the court instead of off it, or at the very least resolves things in their next meeting instead of in the parking lot. This team wants to win a championship, and that takes more than what Melo's demonstrated thus far.

Carmelo Anthony has to realize once and for all that the team - much like this situation he very easily could've walked away from - is bigger than himself.

Top 9s - PED Watch 2012

The Most Improved Player award is always one of the most exciting every season; not only did its recipient probably surprise us, but we got to watch someone make a name for themselves, forging a new star in the NBA that shone brighter than the many that battle for MIP every year.

As usual, the competition's been furious out of the gate, with many making bold claims that this is their year. Some do it for the team (injuries, new roles), some do it for self (playing time, contracts) and some do it out of pure love for the game, so here's a nod to the Top 9 guys who've taken their game (or HGH schedule - just kidding) to new heights: PED Watch 2012

9. Larry Sanders
It's taken a while for me not to picture Garry Shandling every time I hear this guy's name, but Sanders is making us forget all about subpar sitcoms with his play so far this year. Left with a void in their frontcourt by Ersan Ilyasova's inexplicably sudden crappiness (didn't seem like the "get paid and stop trying" type), Sanders has assumed a pivotal - and growing- role off the bench, providing capable mid-range scoring and staunch defense to backup their gamble-heavy perimeter. He plays with the all the hustle Ilyasova's lacked this year, so with increased playing time, his name (and face) could start to ring out much louder.

8. Kenneth Faried
Faried was a standout as a rookie last year, but is bending the NBA learning curve to his own standards this season, outweighing skill and size with raw motor and athleticism. The guy just does not stop moving on the court, and every single one of his steps or leaps is of benefit to his team. He cuts relentlessly, he screens constantly, he challenges for EVERY SINGLE loose ball, and generally makes whoever's facing him on either end of the court earn their paycheck twice-over that night. He's already arguably Denver's most effective player, and is still developing an offensive game beyond his off-the-ball activity. Cheesy as it sounds (but also fitting) the sky's the limit for a guy with so much hunger who's shown such steady strides.

7. Mike Conley
Many things have accounted for Memphis' surprise romp to open the season, but chief among them has been Conley's completion of his evolution into (and even beyond) what the Grizz saw when they gave him all that money. Conley's an excellent defender who's become a dangerous offensive presence; an extremely efficient scorer who can morph aptly in between attacker and playmaker modes as the defense dictates. He isn't afraid to take big shots and has been hitting 43% beyond the arc, as one of several D-stretching threats that have made the Grizz so dangerous this year. It's getting crowded in the "Elite Point Guard" mansion, but anyone who doesn't leave Conley's keys does so at their own risk.

6. OJ Mayo
Meanwhile, Conley's one-time running mate has found a new home in Dallas, and somewhat of a renaissance on a team that was suddenly bereft of explosive scorers. Vince Carter was too old. Dirk was too injured. Jason Terry was too in Boston. Well, if there's one thing Mayo likes to do, it's score, and he's responded to the Mavs' void by dropping 20/game and significantly lifting his shooting percentages across the board. What remains to be seen is if the historically streaky and zone-loving Mayo (meant both as "oh, they're in a zone, awesome!" and "no guys, I'm in a zone here, not passing") can maintain the consistent shooting as the second option once Dirk returns, but the early signs have been promising.

5. Anderson Varejao
Ok, so we all knew Varejao was a sneaky-effective monster on the glass, but this season he's become a completely different kind of beast, taking his rebounding to league-leading heights while becoming an increasingly large factor on offense, scoring 4 more points/game and doubling his assist avg to over 3/game. You can appreciate the work this guy's put into his game watching his crafty post moves and smooth finish, knowing this was the same kid that used to make Lebron James cringe with bobbled passes and botched layups several times a night. All it takes is a game, no a quarter, of Cavs basketball to see he's one of the hardest-working players in the NBA, and the effort's paying off huge this year.

4. Goran Dragic
It was evident Goran Dragic was a skilled player when he dropped 23 points in a single quarter... the 4th...On the Spurs....In the Playoffs. It seemed like he was primed for his breakout eons ago, but stuck behind Steve Nash in Phoenix (and then Kyle Lowry in Houston), Dragic was a victim of circumstance and never had the chance to blossom. Now back with the post-Nash Suns, Dragic has been everything he promised to be given starter's minutes; quick on both sides of the ball, with a nice shooting touch and playmaking abilities that would be much better suited to a team with so few options. It's not unfair to say Dragic might have been deserving of Suns teams past, but at least he's finally getting the chance to run the show.

3. Omer Asik
I'll admit, I thought the contract he got this summer was absolutely fucking ridiculous. I'll also admit, I was wrong, as Asik has taken absolutely no time to adapt to a much-expanded role in Houston, becoming a rebounding machine and improving his finishing around the basket seemingly every game. He was pegged by many for a breakout year (I'm far from the only person who's happy they swiped him in their fantasy draft) and so far might even be exceeding expectations. But then there's these two:

2. Greivis Vasquez
General Greivis showed off a solid shooting touch, gritty defending and even a minor clutch factor during Memphis' playoff run two seasons ago; it was evident then that he'd be a solid player. "Solid player" has been a significant insult to the improvement he's shown this year after winning New Orleans' starting PG spot almost by default. His career averages have doubled in every major category, while working with a young, raw, often confused roster that's hardly seen Anthony Davis yet, hasn't seen Eric Gordon at all, and can credit Vasquez's sudden uprising with keeping their early season afloat.

1. Jrue Holiday
Often, a player makes the boldest claim for this award by taking what pretty much every avid sports fan refers to as "The Leap": that breakout season where they ratcheted up from solid role player to unquestioned star, leaving little to no doubt despite the impressive efforts of others (see: Love, Kevin; 2010). Holiday, by all indications, is in the midst of said "Leap" with Philly's point guard reins all to himself. Good for 19/9 with 1.5 steals through the first 15 games, Holiday is adding yet another name to the seemingly endless tally of top-notch NBA point guards, and giving the 76ers a reason to pull the theoretical gun out of their mouths after news broke that their new franchise player indefinitely aggravated his injury bowling. If the Uhu putty holding Bynum's knees together ever settles properly, then these two could be a fearsome duo with Thad Young lurking, but for now, Holiday might have to be content with this trophy, as it's the only hardware he has a chance of winning this season.

Enter The GrindHouse - Denver vs The Grizz

The Memphis Grizzlies have been the talk of this young NBA season, reeling off a string of impressive wins over tough competition, which has earned them the early consensus of Top Dog while the picture continues to take form. The Grizz have been scoring more easily while playing a suffocating team defense that gleans back to the '08 Celtics (note the Tony Allen connection), balancing the scoring with Russian Roulette-like variance and appear to be clicking on most (if not all) cylinders through the whole rotation.

This can be blamed on a whole array of things, from Zach Randolph's apparent P90x training, to he and Rudy Gay having more time to gel on-court, the relentless bench production, the bitter taste of Playoff disaster lingering in their mouths all summer, OJ Mayo being in a different uniform, Marc Gasol channeling Mark Jackson, Mike Conley looking every bit worth the contract I spit out half my tea (yes, I drink tea) upon reading he signed...

Of course, as is with every team that exceeds pre-season projections, the question is: can they keep it up? Tonight, the Grizz face off against the Nuggets; a team many see them fighting for playoff position with, as they chase a franchise-record 9th straight win. Banter's got the play-by-play: welcome to the GrindHouse.

- Zach Randolph hit with a delay of game warning before tipoff. Astounding.

- Tony Allen "looking for his offense early but not shooting the ball very well". Not so astounding.

- The Grizz's first bucket comes off a nice Conley 3 after Gasol gets crowded in the high post and (as usual) finds the open man. Hitting the 3 has been one of Memphis' new weapons; should be of note tonight against a reputedly tough Nuggets' perimeter D

- Lebron James is the only non-guard with more assists this year than Marc Gasol. That's just impressive, even nine games in.

- Grizz timeout early after their effort on D looks very Knick-like

- Midway through the first, the Grizz have been attacking the post and the Nuggets have been hitting easy jumpers. Knotted at 11.

- Again, Denver's defenders overload the post, leave the top of the perimeter wide open, and get stung with a 3, this time by Rudy Gay.

- Iggy with the game's first dunk; a nice 2-handed baseline reverse off a pump fake that just looks TOO casual for what it is.

- Enter: Quincy Pondexter. This is bad news for you, Denver.

- Memphis has been murdering the offensive glass early, but having a player named "The Manimal" is a great equalizer. He forces two second-chance points to cap a Denver run that gives them a 17-14 lead... Until a Mike Conley 3 from the corner in transition knots it again.

- Lotta turnovers by Memphis, and Denver isn't playing particularly great D

- The Grizz are just murdering the Nuggets down low right now, between offensive-rebounds and feebly-contested penetration, it's been ugly, and every time Denver's stacked the key to compensate, they've given up an open 3. Memphis at their best is certainly not a team you want to play small-ball against, and...

- Yes! stealing my thought, George Karl has checked Javale McGee into the game over the break. Instant entertainment spike. On cue, McGee catches an Andre Miller backdoor lob.

- Enter: the rest of Memphis' super-subs, Speights, Bayless and Ellington.

- McGee confusedly dribbles into a triple-team with no teammates within 15 feet, jumps as if he's going to try and dunk over everyone from the dotted line, and gets stripped. Such a majestic game.

- The pace picks up as Speights finishes a near-dunk over Brewer on the break to give Memphis the lead, but a pair of free throws put Denver back up 27-26 after 1 quarter.

- The announcers talking about Memphis' "15-game home winning streak" makes me laugh. Let's just conveniently forget about the Playoffs and that 27-point 4th Quarter collapse. At home. Led by Nick Young.

- Both teams come out of the gates running in the 2nd, looking to set the tone. The result? More turnovers. McGee appears to have Pondexter sealed in the post, but falls over while establishing position after Miller creates what in his mind is another easy bucket. The ball rolls by - just out of his massive reach - and the Grizz get back and score in transition.

- Commercial break: 32-32.

- After the break, McGee is curiously absent.

- Jordan Hamilton checks in, tries to make a move off the pass, and blatantly travels. The announcer deadpans: "It does not end well for him".

- 3 more Memphis turnovers to start the 2nd. Hard to score at that rate.

- When they're not losing the ball, the Grizz are finding Randolph for nice looks in the post; keeping it simple, exploiting the edge.

- Pondexter cages the Manimal, taking a charge on the break well ahead of the play; the kind of consistent gritty effort we've learned to expect from them.

- Gallinari catches a lob into the post off a switch with Miller and finishes maybe the toughest shot of his career over three Grizzlies; game's high scorer with 9. Not to be outdone, Gay comes back and sticks one of those 3's that makes the rim mic twang; game's high scorer with 11.

- "Danillo Gallinari, who did NOTHING against the Grizzlies in three games last year, has been the man of the match for the Nuggets so far." Flattering. 45-45 with 2:37 left in the half. Very tight game so far, but if Memphis could just take care of the f***ing ball, they'd be not only scoring more (clearly) but preventing the  fast breaks that have led to fouls and enough of Denver's points.

- The Nuggets have been playing some very sloppy transition ball themselves; numerous lucky deflections are the only reason they're still in single-digit TOs.

- A couple pretty bad no-call fouls have the GrindHouse raining boos on the refs, and the Grizzlies trailing 52-49. The Nuggets are shooting are 54% and the Grizz's D looks about as confused as you would if you saw a grizzly bear in the city of Memphis.

- Time for some blueberry pancakes while some Grizzlies "legend" gives weak halftime analysis.

- Players I pictured doing that segment: Bonzi Wells, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Blue Edwards

- Tip for blueberry pancakes, put more emphasis on the "blueberry", less on the "pancake"

- The first half was scrappy; the 2nd half at first impression won't be any different.

- Faried picks up 2 quick fouls - terrible news for the Nuggets as he now has 4. Karl isn't calling anyone off the bench though...oh...no...wait...here comes...JAVALE MCGEE! Who immediately throws up an awkward runner, but gets his own rebound over everyone for an easy putback, hardly jumping.

- Curious officiating. A lot of close calls going against Memphis nebulously, and a lot of swallowed whistles on close fouls. The Grizz are laughing, but what else can you do?

- More exploiting the post from Memphis; Denver's countered with a Koufos/McGee frontline that's getting confused on switches more than contesting shots.

- By the way, a quick shoutout to NBA League Pass for leaving this game and the Clippers/Spurs tilt untouched while blacking out the thrilling Magic/Hawks showdown. A rare treat.

- Memphis has grinded away, back to a 67-64 lead. As advertised their scoring is balanced: Gasol leads three in double-figures, Bayless has 9, Conley has 8, and only Ellington has yet to score.

- While Mcgee isn't doing much to prevent Gasol from scoring, he's at least answering with a few nice post moves of his own. There might be hope yet for the kid...

- A contested Corey Brewer 3 goes in (somehow) to bring Denver within one; 70-69 Grizz at the end of three.

- McGee's single greatest attribute might be his length allowing him to contest every single rebound; Z-Bo's working on the glass like Ruth's Chris is full and they lost his reservation.

- Nuggets on an 11-3 run up 73-70 early; the bench getting it done. Andre Miller's presence at least triple's McGee's value on offense.

- Admission: I went into this saying to myself "try not to talk about Javale McGee the whole game". Fail.

- If "50/50 balls" were an actual statistical category, Denver would just be completely pummeling Memphis. Then there's the 17 offensive rebounds - in which the Nuggets lead the NBA - but damn. The Manimal is just wreaking havoc.

- Speaking of which, Gay pulls down a board off a Pondexter miss for an uncontested two-handed slam that sends Denver to a time-out clinging to a 79-76 lead, and puts some much-needed wind back in Memphis' sails. It's their first bucket in the paint so far in the 4th, coming at 7:39.

- Conley for 3! Ties the game, validates that contract juuuuuuust a bit more. Gay swats a Ty Lawson floater on the other end, and Memphis is starting to bring out that energy. Tony Allen sinks two at the line and Grizz are up 83-81.

- The refs blow another call (a loose ball Faried knocks out - I swear, he chases every loose ball like he's a Season 3 Wire extra after "that WMD", the refs should just employ a "Faried rule" for sketchy plays they're not sure of)  that leads to a tying bucket for Denver.

- LEAVE TONY ALLEN OPEN FROM 18 FEET! I DARE YOU! Grizzlies up 87-83

- Allen makes a slightly less valuable play, getting T'd up for pulling Faried's hair after they fought for a loose ball. The ensuing free throw knot the game yet again at 87; the 12th time tonight.

- The refs blow another call (God this game's getting repetitive), but tony Brothers steps in off the ball to set things straight and cut Memphis some slack, after they've been on the bum end of virtually every close/blown call.

- The Grizz run an extremely dangerous play with Gasol isolated in the high post and slashers from the right baseline and flashing on the left perimeter. Rudy streaks baseline, Gasol with the beautiful drop pass, and-one.

- The quizzical officiating continues as McGee grabs Gasol's jersey while they fight for a rebound, and Gasol gets nailed with the call.

- I love how the GrindHouse routinely plays the instrumental to "Yonkers" in the 4th quarter. Apparently, Tyler does too:

Tyler, The Creator ‏@fucktyler

DUDE MY SONG WAS PLAYING DURING A FUCKING BASKETBALL GAME!!! THATS TIGHT CAUSE I DONT REALLY KNOW SHIT ABOUT BASKETBALL BUT HELL YEAH

- With the game under 2 minutes and Memphis up 92-90, the two teams trade deadly offensive possessions: a Tony Allen running pump scoop over 2 defenders with the shot clock dwindling, and an Iggy 3 off a broken play. Deadly.

- The offensive glass continues to be Denver's savior; two straight 2nd chance opportunities put them back up 93-92. Javale Mcgee, ladies and gentlemen.

- Gay picks up his dribble in an iso set with nobody near him, awkwardly tries to lob the ball back out to Conley, and gets picked off by Gallinari, comes back down and drills what appears to be the dagger off a Lawson drive-and-kick. 96-92 with 12 seconds left.

- ANOTHER Grizzlies turnover. Laaaaaate.

- Final score 97-92, the Nuggets end the Grizzlies' "15-game home winning streak", sending them to 8-2 after a pretty flat performance.

I recall reading a Randolph quote a few days ago, something about his team "thriving off the underdog role". Well tonight, they certainly played like a team who knew they were 8-1; they were too casual on offense, and turned the ball over a lot. They didn't challenge shots very well, and Denver hit a lot of them. Their effort on glass was so shoddy that Denver grabbed 21 offensive boards, which led to virtually all of their key baskets down the stretch. The officiating wasn't great, but Memphis did themselves no favors along the way to disappointing first home loss.

This wasn't the Grizz we've seen over the past few weeks; this team looked lost, careless and lethargic more often tonight than in their past eight games combined. Maybe this is just a crack in the proverbial windshield, but these kinds of lapses in effort are reminiscent of the Game 1 Incident, and the Grizzlies simply aren't talented enough to win a best-of-seven against a team like the Lakers - whom they face next on Friday - playing this carelessly. Three days off until then, hopefully they can get it together.

Mike Brown - Thrown Under The Buss

Last summer, Jerry Buss was faced with an important decision.

Phil Jackson had decided to take another coaching sabbatical, and the Lakers' owner would have to replace the most accomplished and revered coach in modern professional sports.

It was pivotal; not only in the immensity of the matter, but in its urgency too; LA's favorite sons had just been swept out of the Playoffs, suddenly weren't even the best team in their own city anymore, and were eyeing the twilight of Kobe Bryant's career.

So, of course, when  respected coaching veterans (Rick Adelman) and straight up legends (Jerry Sloan) were out of work, and could've been offered the World by basketball's most valuable entity, Buss instead hastily hired Mike Brown without so much as a phone call to his franchise player.

Brown's resume was somewhat sparse: he had harvested a reputation as a defensive guru, woefully inept offensive coordinator, and probable lost sibling of a certain McDonalds mascot through five seasons in Cleveland. He won a Coach of the Year award (mostly because of Lebron James) and made a Finals appearance (mostly because of a pitifully incompetent Eastern Playoff bracket, and again Lebron James) despite never earning the type of praise the best in the business tend to garner. Players weren't crazy about him. He didn't instill discipline, respect or fear. He wasn't great at in-game adjustments. He (with one unavoidable exception) didn't consistently get the best out of his young talent. He simply sort of existed, riding the wave of accolades that would come to any half-decent new coach with no expectations and the most ideal basketball specimen ever starting at small forward.

Things were certainly different this time around: Brown's "credentials" steadily built his profile to the pinnacle of expectation-ridden coaching gigs. Now under the bright lights of Los Angeles, trying to restore a proud franchise and harness the most mercurial and daunting coaching task in the NBA, we'd get to see what he was really made of. 

The first season was a relative disaster from a new coach's perspective. Any attempt Brown made to saddle Bryant into a team concept fell on deaf ears, as Kobe went on tear that laid to rest any question of how his knees were holding up and gave sabermetric stat geeks massive aneurysms. Coach Kobe was running the show as Brown regularly feuded with Andrew Bynum, failed to keep Pau Gasol engaged without the touches he craved, and the Lakers flamed out unceremoniously in the second round.

The year-long murmurings for Brown's head turned to open conversation, but Buss wasn't ready to drop the axe. He (well, more specifically Mitch Kupchak) had other plans. Kupchak's legendary offseason coups need no re-hashing (okay, yes they do, he pried a legendary, loyalist point guard away from a bitter Lakers' rival for nothing and then acquired the game's best big man without surrendering the player every team in the deal wanted. Incredibly played.) but they upped the ante yet again for Brown, when he was already struggling with the stakes.

As the Lakers bombed out the gate this season, the open conversation got very loud and heated. Press, fans, and people who just wanted to see an incredible Finals this year (like me) were screaming for Brown's demise. Things took a sharp turn this week: one second Brown was allegedly safe, and then as quickly as a cold look from Kobe can turn into a Tumblr phenomenon, Grimace was gone.

Instead of dwell on why the hell Brown was hired in the first place, or lament last season's waste of Kobe's mileage, the Lakers need to realize what 2012's failure has delivered them: a legendary assembly of talent that should contending for a title, not confounding the masses. 

The urgency to find a new coach and right this sinking ship is pressing, but with the importance magnified, this decision can't be as blind as their last coaching hire. Moreover, this hire needs to be fitting of what this team could become: legendary. This team needs a coach who will instantly command the respect of every one of its stars. This team needs a coach who won't panic under the pressure of the LA media and the dire situation his team finds themselves in. This team needs a coach who gets Kobe Bryant, and really, there's only one person on the face of the Earth who does. This team needs the man who Mike Brown tried desperately to replace but could never hope to: Phil Jackson.

Throw money at him. Throw a custom-designed Zen multiplex at him. Do whatever needs to be done to get this man out of retirement (I mean, hell, he's essentially Jerry Buss' son-in-law, how difficult can it be?) because it would be the easiest remedy to a situation that's turning a $100 million+ payroll - and the entire sports World - on its head. 

Hopefully Mike Brown can find work at a McDonalds Playland somewhere (more likely teaching one of the many needy teams in the NBA a proper defensive scheme), but this was a task far too great for him. This Lakers team is unparalleled, not only in its assembly of talent, but the precariousness of it coming together properly. 

Few would be up to it, and only one really makes sense. 

Back Like Obama: The NBA Returns

This time last year, we were all in hell.

Days were getting colder, nights were getting longer, and we were facing the seeming certainty that there would be no NBA action to carry us through the long, harsh winter. 

Saved by a last-minute (though hastily-compromised, we'll see how that plays in five years) CBA agreement, we got our season, and this year us Canadian fans might even get to enjoy baketball without the constant pestering of the NHL, mired in its own lockout.

A week into the season, things are at the usual frantic pace as teams welcome newcomers and jostle for position out of the gate. Here's a look around the League at some of the highlights: 

- The early season thunder (pun intended) was stolen suddenly when OKC woke up out of nowhere and traded James Harden to the Rockets after contract talks went south. Things got thicker than James' beard when he took off with an MVP-like romp to open the season, completely revitalizing Houston's hoops scene.

The unfortunate word out of the Thunder camp is that Harden was unwilling to budge on a deal that was $5m below the max, but would have covered the difference in easy incentives, dealing a huge blow to the Thunder's uber-nucleus. So, facing four max players on a small-market team, Sam Presti's hand was forced, and now instead of a player blossoming into the NBA's best two-way two guard, he's left with a great scorer and defender at the position, unfortunately they're just not the same person. The Thunder have also started the season looking like a feeble shell of the team that shook the Spurs last May, and who's to know if they can regain their swagger?

On the other hand, you've got the Rockets, who are looking like Anna Nicole Smith post-divorce (and pre-bloating), happily inking Harden to the max after stockpiling assets for years to land a player of his caliber. The Beard now teams with Linsanity to form perhaps the NBA's most intriguing backcourt, has all the room to shine, a city on his back, money in his pocket, and a straight-up frightening start to the season under his belt. Only time will tell, but this has all the makings of a historic, franchise-altering move for both teams. 

- Amid the Harden shockwaves were tremors out of Los Angeles, where the Lakers started 0-3 and underwhelmed everyone. The problems were plenty: Mike Brown shackling his imposing offensive arsenal with a Princeton system, a lack of defensive cohesion to mask the holes at several positions, incomplete health (something massively exacerbated by Steve Nash's demise). Where the Lakers go from here is anybody's guess, but by the time Nash returns in a couple weeks, if this ship doesn't begin to right itself, Mike Brown might be getting the axe. I'm not entirely sure why he has this job to begin with, but Brown trying to co-ordinate an offense for Nash and Kobe Bryant is sort of like Riff Raff trying to give Kendrick Lamar rapping lessons.

Mike, take a page from Erik Spoelstra, who's survived a baptism-by-fire in Miami to actually become one of the NBA's better coaches, recently saying that putting Lebron James "in a box" (theoretically) during his first year in Miami "was the worst thing I could've done". You've got revolutionary talent on your team, and the two players leading it are both more experienced and simply smarter than you offensively. Let them do their thing.

- The remaining unbeaten teams are (somewhat predictably) the Spurs, and (complete f***ing shocker) the Knicks and Bucks. San Antonio's doing what they always do: play monotonously effective basketball, Milwaukee's only played two games, but the Knicks have been shooting the lights out, despite being old, hobbled and hated on by pretty much everyone outside of Manhattan (they don't even have the other Boroughs anymore). Melo's been playing like he heard everyone's mumbles about his mentality this summer, Raymond Felton appears to have shed his Burger King addiction, and Mike Woodson might finally have made a sane human being out of JR Smith. Of course, this is the Knicks so things could be a Rasheed Wallace drug violation away from completely unraveling, stay tuned.

- The player everyone was probably most anxious to see - human pogo stick/ROY apparent/unibrow revolutionist Anthony Davis - was abruptly sidelined after concussion-like syndromes from an inadvertent Austin Rivers elbow ("thanks, pal!") prevented him from traveling with the team by plane after the NBA went all NFL on us and revised their policies about head injuries. The issue of brain damage from sports injuries is a very serious and relevant one; in all cases, not just that of a rookie phenom. But Hornets coach Monty Williams spoke out and hit all the right points; that basketball's a much less physical game, that this policy was revised without much history within the sport, and the players should be more involved in the decision (Davis was apparently fine the next day). That and my fantasy team's already got enough injuries.

- Meanwhile, over in Oregon, Blazers rookie Damian Lillard has been putting on a clinic and setting the bar very high for Davis. If the Summer League and Preseason exhibitions he put on weren't enough to convince you that the stunner of Draft Lottery might also be its best player this year, then tune into a Portland game on League Pass, watch his lethal stroke, killer quickness, great passing for a score-first guard, and try lying to yourself and saying he isn't the truth. It'll likely be a two-horse race for ROY, but it should be a damn good one.

- Mavs' owner Mark Cuban's been back in the headlines (where he seems to have taken a slight backseat from after his failed foray in Major League Baseball), picking fights with Donald Trump via Twitter in an effort to get Trump to first shave his immortally horrendous haircut off for charity, and then to match Cuban's $1m for Sandy relief (in his own state no less) when The Donald scoffed at the offer. Say what you want about Mark Cuban; he comes across as arrogant and maybe a man in his position has the right to, but he speaks his mind, is the best owner in the NBA, and in this case is using his public platform to not only raise money for a good cause, but have fun at the expense of one of the most unanimously disliked people in the World. Try and hate.

- Until Love and Rubio return and make Minnesota the indisputable Official Team of League Pass, there should be an interesting fight for the interim title. Houston has to be included for Harden Watch after his early season antics. Golden State's playing some inspiring ball, has several players to watch, and could actually (maybe) be something this year. The Clippers are obvious choices. The Cavs are less obvious ones. But for my money, I'm going to be watching a lot of Nuggets games over the next few weeks. Their team is young, exciting and dynamic; they play the kind of gritty, unselfish basketball you'd expect a good team with no superstar to play, but with a level of flair an athleticism that has to put them high for any true fan. Then there's the added bonus value of Javale McGee doing something completely, utterly unforgettable. Makes an easy win.

And last, but most definitely not least, a salute to David Stern - unmistakably the best commissioner in pro sports today - who recently announced his impending retirement after what will be a 30-year reign that saw him steer the NBA from fringe market to global juggernaut. He presided over an era of absurd economic expansion that saw professional basketball become adopted in media and countries it had previously never heard of. As with any commissioner there were highs and lows; along with his knack for expansion and reputation as a policy guru, relentless worker, and "stern" negotiator, were failed attempts at social engineering (the Dress Code), failed attempts to keep his owners' wallets in line (resulting in two season-shortening lockouts, though let us note the MLB and NHL both lost entire seasons to lockouts during his tenure), failed attempts to keep his referees from fixing games for the mob, and obvious signs of a decline into senility (the Chris Paul Fiasco). Despite these blemishes, the historical record will surely state that Stern was a basketball legend for his impact on the game's sharp rise in popularity. He was as steady a leader as a league that constantly found itself in public turmoil could ask for, and we can only hope (as is indicative) that Adam Silver will wear the shoes well.

Here's to an awesome season, enjoy and take care.

Top 9s: Greatest Facials

The term "facial" has taken on a rather loose meaning since its inception as a pre-Botox cosmetic treatment to smooth wrinkles and cleanse the skin.

Depending on who you ask, it could mean anything from a re-styling from the shoulders-up to an adult film shower on a (potentially) unsuspecting victim.

Ask any basketball fan, and the first thing that comes to mind (other than Tori Black) is a vicious assault on a (potentially) unsuspecting victim of a totally different variety: The Poster Shot.

We pray for it every game we watch: some lumbering lummox to be caught off-guard by an athletic skywalker who's beaten his man and is streaking to the hoop like an Aston on the Autobahn. They put in a valiant effort: defending their team's goal like the last man at the Alamo (ok, enough with the "A" similes), only to wind up permanently seared into our memories and on YouTube (and now, in this blog) as casualties of the Greatest Facials:

...Ok, honesty time, I've spent the last twenty minutes trying to cut some of these out and just can't, so before we get down to the Top 9, here's a rather extensive Honorable Mention: (writing this was basically just an excuse for me to watch a bunch of demoralizing dunks, so I might as well share the experience)

Dwyane Wade on Anderson Varejao

Andy Varejao has had an extremely effective, underrated NBA career. He does all the gritty things that help a team win without demanding touches while always playing his ass off. Parcel and package with this of course, is cagey defense that plays heavily to the refs and has led to many accusations of flopping, or as Varejao puts it, "I don't flop, I Samba". Regardless, the NBA has put rules in place this year to crack down on excessive flopping, but Dwyane Wade seemed to have his own solution years ago: (rule of note: a facial is automatically anywhere between 15-30% better if Marv Albert is commentating)




Kevin Johnson on Hakeem Olajuwon

KJ was always an courageous player; one who battled through early failures in his career and numerous injuries to help lead the Suns to several deep playoff runs as a premiere point guard among a cast that resembled today's talent-packed quarterbacks. Even beyond his playing days, he ran a successful mayoral campaign in Sacramento, and is now fighting the League's bureaucratic bullshit to keep the Kings in town. But perhaps nothing took more ambition than this baseline foray against the greatest shot-blocker of the modern era, that took a surprising turn for Olajuwon.



Taj Gibson on Dwyane Wade

Gibson always had the kind of dynamic, athletic talent that would lend himself well to the evolving NBA game. He can defend multiple positions, score, rebound, and unleash the occasional monster dunk. He was all set to blossom in Chicago as part of an emerging Bulls core, until they dumped Carlos Boozer enough money to buy Western Samoa, forcing Gibson to the bench behind him and Bulls fans to plead for Amnesty. Unfortunately for Dwyane Wade, this also meant that Gibson's frustration mounted every time Boozer would botch a defensive assignment, trot casually by the bench downcourt or force an awkward baseline jumper. He felt the need to deliver not-so-subtle reminders of what he was capable of, and the occasional monster dunk just had that added little something to it.



Lebron James on Kevin Garnett

The Celtics always seemed to have Lebron's number while he was in wine & gold, but even if for one brief moment, he completely and utterly owned them.



Vince Carter on Alonzo Mourning


Vince was always a frustrating player that casually toyed with otherworldly talents and left the fans constantly asking for more: "Why aren't you playing defense?", "Why are you just shooting jumpers all the time?", "Are you actually just not trying until the Raptors trade you?...For real?...Aw, C'mon Mannnnn". His time in New Jersey was par for the course: lots of scoring and All-Star appearances, sparse playoff victories. Even less frequent were his demolitions of elite shot-blockers, which when you witness below, just makes you wonder "Why?".


 Scottie Pippen on Patrick Ewing 

Patrick Ewing had a pretty rough career. He had to deal with the expectation of being the first ever Draft Lottery prize and resurrecting a proud basketball tradition under rabid fans and a raging media. He had to deal with immense pressure. He had to deal with papier-maché knees. He had to deal with Michael Jordan. Well, 1994 came around, and Jordan had dominated Ewing (and everybody else) to the point where he felt basketball had nothing left to offer him, and suddenly there was this window of hope that the Bulls could be beaten. Although they eventually succeeded in toppling their rivals while Jordan was smashing dingers, Scottie Pippen was not about to go down without a fight, as this visceral reminder shows.



Blake Griffin, et al

We've all seen these. We could all stand to again.




9. Tracy  McGrady on Shawn Bradley

No list of Top Facials would be complete without a nod to Shawn Bradley; the human birch tree that seemed to be getting banged on every time we turned around. Of all the abuse Bradley endured over the years, none was more malicious than this particular attack, where Tracy McGrady (perhaps frustrated by his perpetual inability to win a playoff series) displayed emotion for the one time in his career, breaking furiously baseline and riding poor Bradley to the hoop like a pony at the carnival. McGrady didn't make it out of this first round - or any other - but will live on in the annals of NBA cult lore as the guy who did Shawn Bradley the worst.




8. Baron Davis on Andrei Kirilenko

Certain dunks are about so much more than the play itself. Pippen's cram on Ewing encapsulated the intensity of a bitter playoff rivalry, compacting all the emotion of an entire series' aura into a single play that perfectly defined it. Consider this the 2K remix: the Warriors were a brash, loud, free-wheeling team that played like they were defending home court at Venice Beach and had just rode their aggressive swagger to an upset of the #1-seeded defending champs that drove the Bay Area into a completely ballistic frenzy. Laying in their path was a boring team of mostly white dudes from a city of Mormons, who were for some reason called the Jazz. Shit was about to go down. (note the "Sound Level Meter" not only existing, but hitting 100+)

 
 7. Corey Brewer on Derek Fisher

Thoughts going through Derek Fisher's head as he collects himself from the basket support: (in order)
"Am I dead?"
"Let's never try that again."
"Maybe I should remove SportsCenter from Tivo record..."
 
  6. Dominique Wilkins on Larry Bird

Borrowed from Bill Simmons' epic The Book of Basketball : "During the '87 season, Larry Legend made the mistake of challenging 'Nique on a fast break and got dunked on so violently that the momentum sent him sprawling into the basket support like he had been struck by a car. This nearly caused a bigger Atlanta riot than the bomb that spoiled the '96 Olympics. People went berserk. they almost charged the court."


5. Kobe Bryant on Dwight Howard

The announcers make reference to Kobe's foot being hurt, but the only thing ailing after this crowning was Dwight's ego.

4. Tom Chambers on Mark Jackson
So many things are awesome about this dunk:

- Tom Chambers is an anglo-saxon, and therefore not one you'd expect to do something like this
- Tom Chambers looks like a supporting character from an 80's action movie
- Tom Chambers found a glitch in the Law of Gravity, and humbly chose not to accept his Nobel Prize
- Most of you have probably never heard of Tom Chambers
 
3. Michael Jordan on Patrick Ewing
No single play better epitomizes Jordan's oppressive dominance of the Knicks than this hallowed murking from the '91 ECF that set professional basketball in New York back far enough that it hasn't recovered yet. The Knicks threw everything they could at Jordan, and he was just too fucking good. Ewing was brave in his efforts to protect the hoop with all his knees would give him, but as was so often the case with MJ, resistance was futile. Poor old Patrick hadn't even been served by Scottie yet.
2. Shawn Kemp on the Golden State Warriors

Before cocaine, alcohol, Jim McIlvaine's contract and pro basketball in Cleveland turned him into a whale among men, Shawn Kemp was the most feared high-flying assassin in the NBA, routinely humbling those who dared to step between him and an NBA Jam moment. Things got particularly devastating in the '92 playoffs for the front line of the Golden State Warriors; first Kemp set a still-standing professional basketball record by being the only player to cram an opponent hard enough to get props from him (as Chris Gatling obliged). But the respect didn't seem to be enough, as that was only a set-up for the immortal Lister Blister.







1. Vince Carter over Frederic Weis

You all knew this was going to be here. Really, it's just beyond words ("He jumped over his HEAD!"), so enjoy the French commentary. And the view.

Top 9s - Show and Prove

Welcome to Banter's newest feature: Top 9s.

The temptation to rank players, teams, events, dunks, plays or whatever else is almost inescapable for anyone with a brain and an opinion. I also happen to have an outlet, a boredom problem, and suffer from separation anxiety between early June and late October, so I figured having some rankings on here to pass time and spark discussion every now and then wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Why the Top 9? Well, it's just a 9.

Coming into every NBA season, there's players with something to prove: a spot in the NBA to secure, a starting job to battle for, a contract year to put on for. But some stakes are even higher; reputations, legacies: historical shit, not only for the players themselves, but sometimes they carry the weight of entire franchises and the expectations of countless fans on their shoulders. This adds another compelling layer to the NBA's dynamic story and lets us see who's truly made of fire underneath it all. So without further ado, the first edition of Top 9s: The Most to Prove This Season

9. Jeremy Lin

Seems like a logical place to start. Lin's flash in the pan last season caught the NBA's entire stove on fire and made a World-wide celebrity of a player who was out of work just weeks earlier. His controversial offseason departure from the team he'd briefly resurrected - something about a grown billionaire holding an insecure grudge like an 11 year-old girl - not only landed him on a new squad suddenly bereft of talent, but promised to make him a very rich man relative to his NBA accomplishments. We've seen plenty of guys go on tears for crappy teams and disappear before (the name Ronald Murray comes to mind) but Lin flipped the script involuntarily. When Houston inked him that back-loaded offer sheet, they promised to make him a poster boy for the League's spending issues, but when James Dolan felt spited and refused to match (which was just monumentally stupid. I know it's a lot of money, but this guy just made your team over twice the amount you're going to pay him over the next three years. In two months. Get over yourself.) Lin became a focal point of whatever the hell Houston's got going on this season. If he keeps up his level of play from last season, he'll easily be the best player on their team, put talks of his contract to rest, and ensure James Dolan get less of it. But it's that "if" part that has everyone wondering...

8. Zach Randolph

Last season was an absolute disaster for the Grizzlies. They came into 2012 with serious playoff ambitions for the first time in their franchise's history, and Randolph was being celebrated as the NBA's most lethal low-post threat. Well, Z-Bo tore his MCL and missed 37 games, throwing Memphis' season into a flux that set a dubious record along the way to putting the words "playoff disappointment" in a Grizzlies fan's vocabulary. After returning, Randolph wasn't his same self. Part of this was due to Memphis' inability to align him offensively with Rudy Gay, but also that Randolph tends to put on a rather convincing Yokozuna impersonation when sedentary. The months on the shelf made it harder to regain his form, being rushed back into the lineup in time for the playoffs. Reports from apparently reliable sources point to Randolph now being fully healed from the injury, and carrying around several less pounds than last year, which is sure to be easier on his legs. He'll have to be healthy and motivated to re-assert himself on the level he did in 2011, which the Grizzlies need wholly if they want to get back on the right end of playoff dream-crashing.

7. Deron Williams

Time was, a lot of people in the know considered Deron Williams the best point guard in the NBA. "Time" seems like an eternity ago, but this "was" around 2009 and since then, not only has the League's overall point guard talent blown up like the Gangnam Style video, but Williams has spent time on some very questionable teams, not to mention the wrong end of a feud that apparently ended Jerry Sloan's career (seriously, we're talking a 23-year tenure in a field where the average life expectancy of a position is worse than a hemophiliac wrapped in barbed wire in a shark tank - must've been some deep shit). Now that the Nets have found a new home with Deron locked into a long-term deal, they can start to build towards the lofty goals their celebrated owner has set for them, with Williams steering the ship. A lot of eyes will be on Brooklyn; they've been much-ballyhooed over everything from their flashy new arena, to their owner's ambitious 5-year title plan, to their attempt to resurrect a borough and revitalize The Mecca's basketball scene. And I also remember reading somewhere that Jay-Z's involved with the team apparently? Sounds cool. With the ante as high as it possibly could be for a team in a new city, a lot of it will rest of D-Will's shoulders after Dwight didn't happen and the team overpaid for the rest of its roster. If ever there was a time to boldly re-claim his status on the shaky PG totem pole, it's now.

6. Kobe Bryant

Regardless of how much he accomplishes in his storied career, Kobe's more or less a formality on this list. He's spent the past 15 years cultivating a niche as by far the most polarizing figure in the NBA (you hear that so much it becomes trite) by giving puritans, underdogs and most casual fans every reason to hate him, while spellbinding others with undeniable talent, bulletproof work ethic, and an indomitable love for the game. This season is the same story: coming off an inevitably-much-scrutinized 6th place showing in ESPN's #NBArank, Bryant will have to adjust his Bieber-like usage rate from last season and mesh his offensive tyranny with the Lakers' new arrivals if they hope to live up to the hype surrounding them. As his legacy would dictate, most of the skeptics' questions surround his role: "Will Kobe be OK with Nash controlling the tempo?", "How's he going to react when his shots get cut in half?", "Is the Staples Center locker room big enough for his and Dwight's ego?", "He's not the man anymore. He won't like it." But, as is perpetually the case with Kobe, no matter how he addresses these issues this season, you can count on there being more for him to face.

5. James Harden
In most cases, having a career year where you exceeded lofty expectations and won the 6th Man of the Year award would put you far away from having anything to prove. I use the word "you" because, unless you're James Harden, this hasn't happened to you. Setting the tone for this contradiction was Small Game James's complete dud of a Finals: put bluntly, he played by far his worst ball of the season when it mattered the most. As if that weren't enough, he spent the offseason watching free agents get thrown money like GMs were drunken, insecure recent Bellagio jackpot winners at the Spearmint Rhino, and demanded his own max money, driving a very awkward curveball into the Thunder's long-lingering long-term financial dilemma. Playing in a small market, with two max deals already on their roster (at least they extended Ibaka before he played himself into that conversation) Harden's threatened a divide in Sam Presti's plan to keep this young core together. He's currently a fringe max player at best (at least in anything even vaguely resembling a sustainable economic model) and Presti could get heaps in return from a team more able fork over the money Small Game James is seeking. The future of the Thunder's composition could very well lie on Harden's play this season, and whether he proves himself too valuable to lose.

4. Roy Hibbert

As you've probably figured out by now, the words "max deal" are being tossed around the NBA these days like "swag" and "YOLO" are by hip-hop wannabes, nowhere more evident than in Indiana, where ascribed All-Star Hibbert (who for argument's sake posted career bests of 12.8/8.8 last year, offering a defensive presence that, while valuable, was at-most 4th best among East centers) will be raking in as much money as he possibly can next season. The obvious questions are 1. "Does he deserve it?" and more importantly, 2. "Does this completely screw over the Pacers?" Neither can really be answered right now, because Hibbert is still only 25, has improved very dramatically over the past two years, and from all skills, conditioning, and attitude perspectives seems bound to continue. But the Pacers aren't prime candidates to bite the luxury tax bullet, and now have a ton of money tied up in Hibbert, while having made no significant upgrades this offseason. This means it'll up to guys like breakout-ready Paul George, and more so the dude this paragraph's about, to take Indiana further in a conference where they almost beat the NBA champs last spring, but have seemingly regressed against the competition up top.

3. John Wall
It was all too good to be true. Wall showed almost too much potential, his athletic ability was so far ahead of its time when he was drafted. He was Derrick Rose, only faster end-to-end; a perfect palette with which to paint a legendary point guard. Something had to go wrong. Enter the Washington Wizards. Enter Andray Blatche. Enter Nick Young. Enter Javale McGee. Rather than let his quarterbacking talents blossom, Wall was a relative daycare employee, and after a promising rookie campaign, hit a serious sophomore slump last season. Fortunately for him, the headaches appear to be gone; the immature mess that once marred the Wiz's roster has been replaced by stable veterans down low, and given way to another promising young gun (3rd pick Bradley Beal) to share Wall's backcourt. All the pieces appear to be in place for him to get back on the path to superstardom, but sometimes it's the immense amount of talent that's so difficult to harness. John Wall has all the potential in the World, but along with the possibilities, comes the potential for so much to go wrong.

2. Carmelo Anthony
Carmelo Anthony and Lebron James have been on very contrasting NBA journeys since their once-storied rivalry as high school and NBA rookie phenoms. Their stories met again this past year, linking up as Olympic teammates and putting on clinics as the US took the expected Gold. They face yet another indirect crossing as they return: in the same season James took himself from clear first to dead last (as in the entire League) on this list, Melo's inability to win became a popular topic among hoops pundits who wondered if he'd ever make the leap from hardcourt gunner to transcendent winner; be the Slim Charles of the NBA game (he's from B-More after all). Now almost a decade into his career with 0 Finals appearances under his belt, Anthony will be under the microscope like never before; his Olympic outbursts and triumph are fresh in everyone's minds, but we've all known he was a World-class scorer from Day One. What remains to be seen is everything else: Can he defend? Can he defer? Can he make those around him better? And, obviously, Can he win? Your move, Melo.

1. Dwight Howard
I'm sorta out of words at this point, not because I have a hard time justifying this slot or had a Writer's Block dropped on me, but there's really nothing more to be said about Dwight Howard that hasn't over the past 18 months. To sum things up for anyone who might be a new NBA fan or is simply nauseous from all the bullshit: Howard demanded a trade from Orlando, publicly denied it, then publicly confirmed, then denied it again (shit, who even really knows), mailed in all of last season, got his coach fired, attempted to model the team in his own image, got his GM fired when that didn't work, all the while acting immaturely in the media and with a lack of transparency that sabotaged his team's ability to move him effectively, so that when they ultimately were forced to, they got completely and utterly shafted. To say that he's humiliated the NBA would be a minor understatement, surely substantiating every negative stereotype about professional athletes held by the conservative public. The bad news for Dwight is that he's got a lot of making-up to do in the eyes of basketball fans. The good news for Dwight is that he landed in the proverbial Pot of (Purple and) Gold at the end of this shit-rainbow: he's on a team that's seriously threatening to take the NBA by storm, and as still the most dominant center in the League, he'll be right in the eye of it. Cue up "All Eyez on Me" and enjoy your season. 

Banter's 2012-13 NBA Preview: NHL Lockout Edition!

It's about that time. And it couldn't be coming soon enough.

With the NHL mired in another lockout, a bunch of French mimes masquerading as NFL officials, and the MLB playoffs again perpetually boring everyone, the NBA approaches its first full season under the new collective bargaining agreement (could've put 'CBA' I guess, just trying to avoid the 100th acronym in this sentence). Spared a two-month moratorium, and endless cliché 'Best Christmas Gift Ever!!' Facebook statuses, hoop-heads everywhere are bustling; prepping fantasy leagues, laying predictions and bets, ordering League Pass, taking their team's jersey to the cleaners, and getting set for the show. With only a week or so 'til training camps open, it's time for Banter's 2012-13 Season Preview:

Just as The Avengers was crushing the Box Office, the Lakers (as they tend to do) assembled their own blockbuster legion of superstars in Hollywood, in a completely movie-script fashion; convincing their once-and-probably-still bitter rivals to hand them their once-and-probably-still-close-to MVP, then ending the Dwight InDecision saga that had plagued the NBA for eons, flipping Andrew Bynum into his only possible upgrade (that Orlando somehow didn't manage to get Bynum back in the deal is a rant for another time...). Talk about your GM of the Year bids.

This uprising clearly stole the offseason - everything from headlines to the opposition's plans - and has potentially snuffed the momentum of the small-ball trend sparked by Miami's recent bid to form a dynasty without a dominant center (or Michael Jordan) for the first time in NBA history. These 'trades' (I envision something more closely resembling the electrocution scene from Taken with Mitch Kupchak playing Liam Neeson and Rob Hennigan the helpless Albanian as he reluctantly agrees to send Bynum to Philadelphia) couldn't have come at a better time for the seemingly-dead Lakers. Their perimeter speed on D is no longer an issue; Howard has that kind of deterrent effect on penetration that the US government likes to think the death penalty has on crime. Mike Brown can end his embarrassing charade as an offensive co-ordinator; he has one running his point. Metta World Peace, or whatever his name will be by opening night, will no longer have the touches to launch up his 'Little Engine That Could' 3-point bombs, and Pau Gasol will finally have the balance of Nash's friendly locker room presence and on-court generosity to Kobe's, well, exact opposite of those. Their depth issues are evident, but by the time the Trade Deadline and veteran signings pass, this team is sure to be a few spots safer, and can cruise through the regular season to a Top-4 seed even if they're not completely healthy. It'll be interesting, and entertaining (really, it wasn't enough that Chris Paul and Blake Griffin landed on the same team, but now we get Nash and Howard too?) to see how it unfolds, but the plot just thickened considerably.

Miami also made a big splash; seeing obvious room to improve in the afterglow of their title parade, they addressed their most basic need - find good distance shooters to knock down the open looks Lebron and Wade create and space the floor (keep in mind, this was prior to 'defend Dwight Howard on a serious contender' being a basic need) - by picking up a very good long-range assassin, and in a completely unrelated case, the greatest one ever. With Bosh and Lebron more comfortable as post players, they're making a very bold case to live up to that ridiculous Welcome Party (I'd link to YouTube but it's too painful to watch and think "These guys are the NBA Champions") and truly make their mark.

Brooklyn's new team will be breaking in the Barclay Center with a somewhat-intriguing look. Though they fanned on Howard, keeping Deron Williams was huge, adding Joe Johnson was an expensive improvement (keep in mind who owns them and how he tips luxury tax money to bathroom attendants), and having Brook Lopez as your center isn't the worst thing in the World when the guy beside him in the post grabs 11 rebounds/game.

The Knicks meanwhile, have conveniently agreed to further their team's role as media spectacle, by hosting an NBATV reality show aimed at reviving the careers of aging stars like every other celebrity reality TV disaster. "Be Our Backup Center" will star Marcus Camby, Kurt Thomas, and most amusingly Rasheed Wallace, in a bid to selfishly compete for shine on a middling playoff team. Coming off a tour as a heroic gunner in the Olympics, Melo's sure to be as trigger-happy as ever, which will surely set the tone for the Knicks as they struggle with the media and Eastern lottery teams, while trying to get over the fact that Jeremy Lin no longer plays for them. Did I mention they're trying to hire Isiah Thomas again? Stay tuned.

There's also a big buzz around New Orleans lately (sorry, too easy), with the arrival of the Unibrow and all his promise - not potential - promise. Adding the hungry, talented, and poised Austin Rivers (nothing says 'NBA-Ready' like a kid raised by someone who's spent the last 30 years deeply involved in it) is big, holding onto Eric Gordon is bigger, and forgotten in their wake is Ryan Anderson, and the noted absence of Rashard Lewis' contract. If you're a Conspiracy Theorist, you probably think the fix is on as a "thanks for taking this team off our hands" gift from the NBA. But everyone else is laughing at you. 

The Big Losers this offseason had to be the Mavs, who gambled their title defense on a shot at Dwight and Deron, came up with Chris and Darren, and despite Mark Cuban's attempts to validate their offseason, have a carton of eggs on their face for not just paying Tyson Chandler. This team looks even less likely to succeed than the Mavs team that won it all against all odds, and Dirk's window may have shut. The only real positive from their offseason is that Khloe Kardashian got to move back to Los Angeles. 

So how's it all going to play out? Here's my predictions so they can blow up in my face:

MVP - Lebron James: This is just kind of obvious. The things preventing James from winning this award, in order of ascending likelihood: 1. Lebron getting injured 2. Kevin Durant going on a complete rampage 3. The voters getting bored and giving it to someone else on principle. 

Sleepers: Kevin Durant, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul

ROY - Anthony Davis: Also kind of obvious. Jonas Valanciunas will be a nice addition for the Raptors, but Davis has too complete and polished a game already to not command this award's favoritism. He has the #1 pedigree, all the opportunity to shine he desires, and is coming off a summer with the best players in the World. His to lose. 

Sleepers: Jonas Valanciunas, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Damian Lillard

DPOY - Dwight Howard: If Howard was ever motivated to be nasty, then this is the time. Already by far the best defensive big in the League, he now has the best team he's ever played on (also one that will rely on him for plenty of help) and he finally realizes the entire country hates him. I'd hate to see him angry...

Sleepers: Lebron James, Tyson Chandler, Rajon Rondo

COY - Doug Collins: This award's nature sort of defies prediction - it tends to go to coaches who overcame adversity or performed unexpectedly well, so Collins seems like a safe bet: a steady hand with a knack for developing talent, at the helm of a young team that's been poised for a big jump, and just happened to have stumbled into Andrew Bynum, who appears ready to blow up, which leads me to:

MIP - Andrew Bynum: This sometimes-zany, sometimes-outright-dominant beast of a young man has spent a couple seasons flirting with brilliance, but lacked the consistent touches and autonomy his game needed to truly thrive with the Lakers. In Philly, he'll clearly be The Man on a team that's wondered whose theirs was since Iverson left. As if Bynum shouldn't be comfortable enough in his new surroundings, Howard and Andrew Bogut - formerly two of the East's three best defensive bigs - are in new threads, and the opportunities for him to ruin the opposition should be plenty.
Sleepers: Javale McGee, Goran Dragic, Nikola Vucevic (or at least Rob Hennigan had better hope so)

6MOY - Antawn Jamison: James Harden's officially ineligible. Anyone who's already won this award and is consequently seeking a Max deal doesn't need the validation again. Jamison on the other hand, has spent years going hard for crappy teams since copping this trophy with Dallas almost a decade ago, and now back on a contender (as if his half-season with the Cavs counted), will be the focal point of a bench that looks thinner than half the Lakers Girls' waistlines. He'll be counted on for consistent scoring and help on the glass, and will be the beneficiary of plenty of attention lapses on D with as many as four superstars surrounding him.  I'd be willing to wager he's at least somewhat rejuvenated by finally being rescued from the Lottery and has at least this much left in the tank.
Sleepers: Dorrell Wright, Grant Hill, whoever loses the Hawks' starting PG battle

Eastern Conference                   Western Conference

1. Miami Heat                           1. Los Angeles Lakers          
2. Chicago Bulls                        2. Oklahoma City Thunder
3. Indiana Pacers                       3. San Antonio Spurs 

4. Boston Celtics                       4. Memphis Grizzlies                      East Finals: Heat over Bulls

5. Philadelphia 76ers                 5. Los Angeles Clippers

6. Atlanta Hawks                      6. Denver Nuggets                       West Finals: Lakers over Thunder

7. New York Knicks                 7. Minnesota Timberwolves

8. Brooklyn Nets                       8. Dallas Mavericks                       NBA Finals: Lakers over Heat

9. Toronto Raptors                    9. Utah Jazz

10. Milwaukee Bucks                10. Golden State Warriors

11. Cleveland Cavaliers             11. Houston Rockets

12. Washington Wizards            12. New Orleans Hornets

13. Detroit Pistons                     13. Portland Trailblazers 

14. Orlando Magic                    14. Sacramento Kings

15. Charlotte Bobcats                15. Phoenix Suns

Ultimately, I just can't see the Heat stopping the Lakers. I've heard lot of people this summer point to 2004's acquisition of Karl Malone and Gary Payton as evidence that this doesn't guarantee success. I've mocked those people. At the time, Malone and Payton were beached whales at the tail-end of their careers, below an All-Star level of play, latching on to two superstars whose several-year feud was about to hit a boiling point. Nash is a consensus top-20 player and perhaps the ideal quarterback for a team of All-Stars, Howard's in the thick of his physical prime and has been the most dominant center in the NBA for years, and while Bryant and Gasol have never been the best of friends, their synergy as teammates has never driven Pau to publicly ask Kobe how his ass tastes in a freestyle diss. Depth aside, Kupchak still has a few months to fill out the roster, and with this kind of talent, going 9 deep won't be necessary. Their talent is comparable to Miami's, and much more well-rounded, so I don't see South Beach hosting another parade next June.

That being said, predictions are a fraction of any picture; watching it all take form is the best part. The  Raptors touch down in my hometown of Halifax next week for training camp; as direct a sign as any that the NBA season's upon us. I hope you all enjoy the next eight months as much as I will; God bless the NHL Lockout.