One of the top prospects in what's touted as a blockbuster draft class; a rangy offensive maestro with A-list court vision and fundamentals (questionable short form notwithstanding).
Instead, we're talking about his father. Why? For a plethora of reasons, but mostly two:
1. LaVar Ball is completely unavoidable
2. LaVar Ball is completely misguided.
The Asshole Sports Parent can take many forms: from the ones who work their kids too hard, to those who yell at coaches and referees, or can't even sit and enjoy a game without committing a violent felony.
But in LaVar Ball, the nefarious concept has reached its zenith: an insufferable omnipresence of ignorance and bellicosity that - like most Asshole Sports Parents - is annoying everyone within earshot and damaging his child's experience.Only his is a national audience, with millions of dollars at stake.
Word broke yesterday that the NBA's powerhouse shoe companies - Nike, Adidas and Under Armour - weren't interested in signing Ball; an unheard-of affront to an elite draft prospect.
The variable in this instance was LaVar's moronic insistence that his Big Baller (sweet name bro) brand of apparel be licensed by whichever company signed Lonzo. In a typical LaVar-ian response, the Ball patriarch unleashed an amusing assortment of sound bytes that suggest a limited business acumen:
"We're looking for co-branding, a true partner. But they're not ready for that because they're not used to that model. But hey, the taxi industry wasn't ready for Uber, either."
"Just imagine how rich Tiger [Woods], Kobe [Bryant], Serena [Williams], [Michael] Jordan and LeBron [James] would have been if they dared to do their own thing"
"When Facebook bought WhatsApp for $19 billion, those guys weren't profitable"
The verbal miscues were nothing new for LaVar, who's firmly crammed his foot in his mouth at every possible opportunity since rising to fame along with his talented offspring:
He's declared that Lonzo was, right now, better at basketball than Stephen Curry.
He's hypothesized that the NBA will be easier for Lonzo than the college game was.
He pulled the clicheed Championship Guarantee for Lonzo's UCLA squad, then after his son was eviscerated by fellow lottery pick De'Aaron Fox in the elimination game, blamed the Bruins' loss on their "slow white guys".
He's done just about everything verbally possible to scar his family's reputation in the basketball community, drawing the ire of everyone from Nike executive George Raveling (who called him "the worst thing to happen to basketball in 100 years") to actor/hoops junkie Michael Rapaport (who called him a "bullying soccer mom"), and just about everyone in between.
LaVar's litany of borderline-senile assertions has stolen the spotlight from its rightful holder: Lonzo's basketball ability. His intent of benefitting his family through relentless attempts to raise their brand's profile, is woefully misguided.
Big Baller may have been a viable name on the AAU circuit and in high-school PTA fundraisers, but LaVar was completely deluded to think he could strong-arm the sport's three biggest apparel giants into co-opting his backyard brand on his terms. Apparently they also felt that way.
This was perhaps the first sign of tangible detriment that LaVar has caused. Lonzo is now going to have several million fewer dollars in his pocket next year, unless one of the market's underlings - with vastly inferior budgets - is willing to pony up a similar offer. If you've seen the Balls' cushy Chino Hills digs, you know they're not exactly hard up for the money, but this was still coin that Lonzo earned and deserved. Being robbed of it by his dad's self-aggrandizing is unacceptable.
It also sets a frightening precedent for an NBA career that hasn't even started yet. How many other potential endorsers could be put off by LaVar's style? How many already have been? How many agents are going to deal with his bullshit? How many coaches or owners won't even want to try? LaVar's clearly stubborn enough to push the envelope with anyone, and demonstrated an inability to recognize its effect on his children.
I could go on at length about why LaVar needs to be silenced, if only to preserve the sanity of legions of basketball fans who already can't fucking stand this guy. But the situation goes well beyond those motives. LaVar needs to be silenced because he is legitimately disrupting an opportunity his sons have worked their entire lives for. We need to stop giving him the attention he so regularly and desperately seeks.
Now, I realize that I'm implicit in this LaVar media frenzy, merely by taking the time to write this. But I'm a fan condemning him on a sparsely-read blog. I'm not a major media outlet probing him for the latest bit of click-bait nonsense, then plastering him all over the front page. His influence should be nipped in the bud, but because ridiculous sells, he's become one of basketball's most talked-about entities.
So, as basketball fans, as internet-surfing information seekers, hell as generally decent human beings, I implore you, please, start ignoring LaVar Ball. The next time you see a link to something ridiculous he's said, just pass it by. Is it really news at this point? You know the man's willing to say anything to draw attention to himself, and that the momentary hilarity it delivers can't outweigh the damage it could do - hell, is already doing - to his sons and their dream.
This isn't about growing the family business. This is about inking with the world's biggest companies. This is about playing in the NBA. This is about Lonzo Ball.
Hopefully his dad can get the hint.
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