- There hasn't been enough Raptors hate lately, so let me take this opportunity to rip into a soft, passive team that would be aptly called the Brontosaurs. Their "franchise" player's been playing with the tentativeness of a rookie, not a four-time All-Star. Their point guard, a model of offensive efficiency, underlines this team's wide-spread defensive shortcomings. Their bench is America's Next Top Model thin. They've been getting blown out by shitty team after shitty team en route to walking punchline status and more than their share of lottery balls. The only positives the team can take away from this season are the emergence of Andrea Bargnani as a lethal scoring threat and that their washed-up, overpaid big-name acquisition will come off the books this year as opposed to next. That should do little to quell the reality that they'll finish the season 7-10 spots lower than they should've in the East this season... At least there's always next year (to again insult expectations)- Meanwhile, across the Mississippi, much more exciting things are going down. 4.5 games separate seeds 2-8 in the West, setting up a scramble for seedings that will be every bit as contested as last year. While the Lakers have been running away with the conference all year, there's been plenty of impressive play from the teams nipping at their heels. San Antonio was rescued from early injuries by stellar reserve play and, now at full health, hold the safest lead on their second seed while Houston has somehow defied T-Mac's inevitable collapse with their best season in recent memory. Utah has to be that "team nobody wants to play" now that they're back at full strength and looking even better than they did at this time last year. Even sleepers like New Orleans and Portland, that nobody's really talking about come playoff time, could sting a higher seed in the opening round; the disparity in talent between these teams is so small that anything could happen. We're being set up for another killer Western playoffs, hopefully this time it happens.
- Somewhere on the set of The Price is Right, Drew Carey's pleasuring himself to the highlights from last night's Cleveland/Orlando showdown. Anyone who still doesn't think Lebron James should win the MVP is politely asked to remove Dwyane Wade/Kobe Bryant's nuts from their throat.
- In completely un-related news, Rockets forward Carl Landry was shot in the leg last night. Apparently Landry, who's won much praise in Houston for his energetic and ridiculously efficient play, was sidewiped in his SUV while on a late-night munchies run. After pulling a U-turn, he got out of his car to investigate the damage, when two dudes from the perpetrating car rolled on him fired two shots, one of which Landry took in the leg. He took off, somehow still outrunning the gunmen with a slug in his stride. The motive of this bizarre incident is still unknown, but luckily Landry was alright; treated and released for a flesh wound, he'll be back in the Rockets' lineup inside a month. Let's hope this is the last we hear of this business.
- Scott Skiles was always a master at alienating his younger players in Chicago, his tough-love, old-school attitude wore thin with many players who found him intense, constricting and intolerant on and off the court. So imagine the fireworks that went off in his head when he discovered that Charlie Villanueva had posted on Twitter from his phone during halftime of the Bucks' recent win over the Celtics. How dare he? The NERVE! Forget that he scored a team-high 19 in a huge win for a team fighting for its playoff life, he was publicly called-out and Skiles banished the evil Twitter from his locker room. Actually. This really happened. If Skiles still has a job this time next year I'll rock a fu-manchu 'til he's fired.
- And finally, a funny story from a buddy of mine who was at the Lakers blowout win over the T-Wolves a few weeks back. It was late in the fourth quarter of a long-decided game when reserve center DJ Mbenga, sopping up garbage minutes like a Sham-Wow, was sent to the line for two. The Staples crowd broke into the "MVP! MVP MVP!" chorus usually reserved for Kobe, to which Mbenga (who, for the record is averaging 3/1.5 in 12 appearances this season) horrendously bricked both shots.
Hope everyone's got their brackets stacked; the Madness starts tomorrow. Enjoy the action.
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