Being David Kahn

There's a lot of confusing shit going on in the NBA this year. Granted, this was a hastily assembled season that's given way to statistical oblivion and managerial panic, but still, some things have always just managed to escape all boundaries of logic and justice.

Take, for example, David Kahn being given a job as an NBA GM. At the time, Kahn was a dual degree holder (English and Law) with an impressive real estate portfolio, who although having had spent time working for the Pacers in 90's, had absolutely no first-hand experience with any sort of basketball operations. So, of course, he was handed the keys to an NBA franchise. This made absolutely no sense and was completely unfair.

Kahn went on to perform a myriad of impressive, and equally confusing, feats over his front office tenure: A month after his hiring, he kicked off his regime by drafting three point guards in the same first round, keeping the worst to run his offense (Jonny Flynn), trading the best (Ty Lawson), then weeks later handing two career fringe starters (Luke Ridnour, Ramon Sessions) - who by sheer coincidence also happen to be point guards - like $45 million. The hits continued: taking a public spin as Mike Beasley's narcotics councilor, getting no equity from salary-dumping their best player, over-paying Darko Milicic when no one else was willing to pay him anything...These were not only impressive in that it took either a massive amount of courage or miseducation to pull them off, but the fact that Kahn was able to continuously do this without getting fired was just simply fucking incredible.

This past week was a big one for Kahn; he had to make good on just about the only thing he's done right so far as GM by getting All-Star forward (and glimmering inspiration for white, unathletic ballers everywhere) Kevin Love to commit to the team long-term. It was widely assumed that Love would be getting the same max deal classmate Russell Westbrook had inked the previous week, but in an unrivaled feat of ballsy under-valuing of talent, Kahn managed to convince Love - you know, the guy doing 25 and 15 - that he was worth relatively the same amount of money as Nene - you know, the guy having a career year at 14 and 9.

I'm at a loss here - genuinely confused - because this demonstrates more savvy than all of Kahn's previous transactions combined. He got great value on a borderline top-10 player, and while Love's opt-out clause gives Minnesota a small window to grow into a real team, they'll be better positioned going forward to lock down guys who they'll need to contend. While K-Lovie undeniably got screwed (seriously, he's working harder than anyone on that team at all times), the bullet he bit financially will reap benefits for the franchise in years to come, make him the unselfish superstar, and Kahn the.....(hold on, I need to mentally prepare myself for this).......(still not ready yet)......(ok, here it goes)...competent GM.

Is David Kahn finally getting it? Was he just playing dumb the whole time and duping rival GMs into underestimating him? Was the whole point guard thing just a sick level? Because suddenly, Minnesota's roster - with the addition of Nash heir apparent Ricky Rubio - is exciting, (relatively) competitive, and loaded with upside. While most GMs would've thrown as much money as they could at Love to entice him to stay in a cold, crappy basketball market with no winning history, Kahn didn't lose sight of the team, and in fact put more pressure on himself to turn this team around on a tighter schedule. Not what I ever expected from someone who had the foresight to joke to reporters about the league fixing last year's draft lottery for Dan Gilbert's autistic son (and expect to not be murdered on Twitter within 5 minutes), but still impressive.

All things said, I hope for Love's sake that this works out in his favor and he gets to reap the benefits of a successful basketball career. Up until this week, I would've said there wasn't a chance in hell of that happening with Minnesota under their current reign, but if this isn't just a momentary lapse of intelligence and cunning, then maybe Kahn isn't so dim-witted after all.

Of course, part of me is still secretly praying it is. This guy's just way too hilarious. KAAAAAHHHHHHNNNNNN

Watch the Throne

The NBA's gone Hollywood. Big-Market teams have always prospered in professional sports, but the recent trend toward the bright lights and sandy beaches of populous locales - coupled with the notion that it takes 3 superstars to win a championship - has put teams in smaller markets at an even steeper disadvantage. Amid all the free agency insanity, blockbuster trade rumors, Twitter chatter and front office ineptitude, they remain spectators to the juicy action, shackled by trade vetoes (apparently not just by players) and limited financial maneuverability.

Despite this, underneath all the madness, in relatively humble Oklahoma City, lies the closest thing the NBA has to a flawlessly-run team. Although the Thunder arrived there through one of the dirtiest schemes in the history of pro sports, they fell into good hands; not only the best fans in the league, but GM Sam Presti, who set up a team of balanced, cohesive talent by drafting well, acquiring affordable veteran support, and having the massive fortune of Portland favoring Greg Oden. Four years ago they were bench fodder, but after a rapid ascent through the ranks, they're now favored by many to come out of a Western Conference that's suddenly having an identity crisis. Things were almost going too well...

Last night, things hit a boiling point between Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant, with the two screaming at each other during a 2nd quarter timeout. Although both had typically downplayed it in interviews, a discontent between the two had been visibly brewing since last spring, when Westbrook's amazingly stubborn refusal to pass the ball to the 2-time reigning scoring champ down the stretch of close games became one of the playoffs' most talked-about stories. That this apparently-resolved issue has led to the team's two most talented players getting at each other in the 2nd quarter of the season's 3rd game sets a disturbing precedent for the rest of the season.

Give the two of them some slack; they embody a precocious team that, still among the NBA's youngest, is also among its best. But the Thunder narrowly missed out on the Finals last year in a conference that now looks like David Kahn; real weak at the top. In order to seize control of this team's momentum and truly contend, there has to be a seamless synergy between two guys who are of such importance. It already wasn't happening on the court, but the threat of it becoming greater, if it hasn't already happened, can't be risked. This isn't the first Westbrook bench outburst, nor is it the first time he's forced serious debate about his role on this team (who pulled out a win over a tough Memphis team despite his 0-13 masterpiece).

It's a difficult dilemma for several reasons; first because Westbrook is obviously a loose cannon and extremely strong-headed (aside from very good at basketball). Second because Kevin Durant and Scott Brooks, for all their merits, both seem to lack that "fuck you" meanness to put him in his place. Trading him would be an extreme measure, but again, think about what's on the line here: a shot at an NBA title. Westbrook's already a consensus top-20 talent with upside to spare, and headcase aside might have one of the highest trade values in the league. Any point they fetch in return wouldn't be as talented, but would be infinitely more likely to defer to the team's best player and be generally less volatile, toss in some perhaps-needed bench support on the wing, move Harden into the starting 5 and maybe it works.

The direction this situation takes will be the ultimate measure of talent vs. cohesion. Kobe and Shaq was a no-brainer; they 3-peated even as they seethed at each other. This could not only determine OKC's stock as a future contender, but swing the title. If Westbrook can get himself on a leash and become more of a consistent leader, then there's no reason why Oklahoma can't contend for several titles with this squad. But that will require him doing a lot more growing up this year than he's shown the potential for. He could stand to learn a lesson from the guy he's beefing with; Durant has been a model of humble, committed, and prematurely mature superstardom; a rare gem in a league cluttered by the billboards, fanfare and excessive contracts of massive markets, much like his team.

But while they're fighting for the NBA throne, Westbrook and Durant can't be fighting between themselves for the right to rule the Thunder. Something's gotta give.

After The Goldrush: Looking Back and Forward on the New NBA Season

Well, it wasn't so much of a goldrush, maybe more like a pyrite rush after some of the ridiculousness we saw over the first few weeks of a belated, official NBA "offseason". It was a bizarre, hectic and in some cases league-altering couple of weeks, so now that most of dust's settled and we're just days away from what's sure to be the best Christmas ever, let's take a look back at the madness, and try to make some sense of it:

- Surely the story of the past weeks was the Chris Paul trade odyssey and David Stern's repeated attempts to get his Gaddafi on, blocking completely legitimate offers for his adopted team's prized PG not once, but twice. Finally enough league and public outcry forced him to realize he was being an irrational asshole, and he let the re-submitted deal pass. The result: the Empty Clips now look like legit homecourt threats in the West, and we've been blessed with the divine privilege of watching CP throw Blake Griffin oops all year. This trade made sense on too many levels: Paul wanted to play in LA. The Clippers had considerably the best package to offer. It would be the ultimate "Fuck You" to a Lakers team that's had the odds stacked in their favor for decades and just got denied their own shot at Paul. We now get to indulge in what could become the best highlight reel tandem ever, finally spared of an increasingly delusional tyrant's iron fist.

- Not too far behind the trend-meter was Dwight Howard's "they love me, they love me not..." trade drama in Orlando, which is making Dwight look more like a child every day, and leading me to think he'd be best off just staying with the Magic and being so close to Disney World. Dude, just be straight with Otis Smith; the poor guy already has a very difficult time with his job, and you changing your mind about your trade desires every time a Twitter follower talks you into it isn't gonna make this go any smoother.

- In missing out on CP3, the Lakers continued the implosion that seemed to have reached its peak with the their 2nd-round sweep last spring. Lamar Odom, upset that his team felt was good enough to trade for the BEST POINT GUARD ALIVE, felt betrayed and demanded a trade. So where do they send him? Obviously to the team that knocked them out last year. And what'd they get in return? Oh ya, absolutely nothing! Great move! Now the Odom giveaway has angered Kobe Bryant (who's also getting divorced and has a legion of NBA heads telling him he's not that great anymore), Metta World Peace (...really?) is dawning upon the most useless season of his career, the words "condensed schedule" might as well mean "injured reserve" for Andrew Bynum, and your nefarious, two-headed point guard demon of Derek Fisher and Steve Blake? Probably the worst in the NBA. That Jerry Buss decided to replace the modern era's greatest coach with a McDonald's mascot didn't help matters much. When the Lakers lose in the first round this year, count me unsurprised.

- I know big men are scarce in the NBA today, but was it REALLY necessary to give Nene, a guy with a heavy injury/illness record who's never been a top-2 player on his team or averaged 8 rebs/game, 14/mil a year?? Didn't we just have a lockout because of shit like this?

- Speaking of stupid contracts, Joe Dumars sealed his nosedive in complete senility last week when he spent $40million locking up his team's 3rd and 4th small forwards; Tayshaun Prince (who hasn't wanted to play in Detroit for like 5 years) and Jones Jerebko (who played pretty well for 6 months and then sat out all last year). For the record Joe, you'll be committing roughly 25% of your team's cap space next year to three reserve small forwards while your starter makes less money than all of them. It looks like Joe's trying to get himself fired, but I find it far more likely a bunch of angry Pistons fans will just put him in ICU instead.

- The Big Apple just got bigger: The Knicks have picked up Khalid El-Amin.....er, sorry Baron Davis, to shore up their pathetic backcourt. whether Baron has anything left in the tank remains to be seen, but if he can lose the In N Out addiction and his un-entitled air of accomplishment, his coupling with Tyson Chandler could take the Knicks' renaissance to yet new heights. At the very least, all the running he'll be doing in Mike D'Antoni's system should be good cardio.

- KAAAHHHHHHHHNNNN. Why did you sign JJ Barea when you already had four guards? Moreover, why did you sign JJ Barea for $20mil when you already had four guards? We knew somebody was going to overpay Barea after last year's inevitable "I'm going to play the best basketball of my career for these six weeks, sign a fat deal, then never do anything relevant again" run, but that it ended up being David Kahn couldn't have been more appropriate.

- David West also spurned Boston, in what Ray Allen called an "ego-driven" move, to sign with Indiana(right, like anyone with a fucking ego goes and plays for the Pacers). They now sport a slightly-frightening frontcourt corps (aided greatly by Mike Dunleavy no longer being a part of it), some promising young talent, and have the advantage of a solid headstart on the rebuilding effort that's sure to face many teams...Which leads us to....

THE LEAGUE IN FLUX
The ultimate effect of the lockout and its subsequent few weeks of open-market madness is that the NBA is in a state of serious transition that is sure to engulf an overwhelming majority of the league's teams. Right now, only three squads (Miami, Chicago, OKC) can safely call themselves contending teams with absolutely no reason to blow things up. Everybody else is vulnerable; that includes the Lakers, Mavs, Celtics, Spurs, Magic, Hawks, and even teams on the rise like the Knicks and Grizzlies. Plenty of other teams didn't get what they were looking for in the offseason, and still more over-rate their contention chances and feel they're "one piece away" from grabbing a Larry.O trophy that, like last year, could be anyone's. This might be most uncertain season we've ever embarked upon, and with 66 games coming in 120 days between under-prepared teams on unfamiliar schedules and regimens, with plenty of trades and free agency rumors circling like an annoying flock of shrieking vultures, things may only get crazier from here. If ever there an NBA season where "anything can happen", well this is it. Get ready to expect the unexpected.... Which is why I'm counting on the predictions I'm dropping here to blow up in my face, but oh well, what can ya do:

MVP - Lebron James. I just think he'll hungrier. He just spent a whole summer listening to people say he cost his team an NBA title, which you can trust he took much more personally than everything else he heard the summer before. Look for a serious "fuck off" statement.

DPOY - Dwight Howard. Not even gonna bother explaining this.

ROY - Kyrie Irving. Being Rookie of the Year is usually all about opportunity and how you respond to it. Irving will have plenty of opportunity now that Baron Davis is out of Cleveland and he'll have the point guard duties all to himself. There's sure to be a steep learning curve, but in a shallow class, there's no reason to bet against him.

MIP - Serge Ibaka. A lot of people like to overlook this, but Ibaka first picked up a basketball at age 18. That was three years ago. He's now one of the premiere defensive bigs in the NBA, has improved in bounds each season, and now as a full-time starter is primed to make "the leap".

6th Man - James Harden. This is a stretch, because a big part of me is convinced he'll punk Thabo Sefolosha's starting spot by the All-Star break (is there even one this year?). But most of me hopes he remains on the bench, where he's a dangerous 2nd scoring punch, who can also see minutes at the point and aptly playmake, because I think it makes the Thunder a better team, and so I look smarter.

COY - Fuck, I dunno, is Hubie Brown still coaching?

EAST PLAYOFF TEAMS - 1.Miami 2.Chicago 3.Boston 4.Indiana 5.New York 6.Atlanta 7. Philadelphia 8. Orlando

WEST PLAYOFF TEAMS - 1.OKC 2.Dallas 3.Memphis 4.LA Clippers 5.LA Lakers 6.San Antonio 7.Denver 8.Portland

EAST FINALS: Heat over Bulls
WEST FINALS: Thunder over Grizz
NBA CHAMPS: Miami Heat (let's all pray this doesn't actually happen. Last June was way too much fun)

Before I wrap this up, just wanted to offer some proper dues to a few we lost this week: Brandon Roy, who was tragically cut down in the prime of an All-Star career, Peja Stojakovic, who also retired after terrorizing perimeters all decade, and Jeff Green, the latest in a disturbing line of heart ailment suffered by NBA players, will be sidelined all season. All the best to Roy and Peja in their future endeavors, and our thoughts and wishes should be with Jeff Green and his family, that he might overcome this illness and return to the Celtics soon.

Well, sure enough, it's almost here. The regular season's tipping off in 5 days and has me sleeplessly awaiting Sunday like a giddy 5-year-old. Merry Christmas indeed everyone, enjoy the season.

VICTORY!!!!

I felt like Johnny Drama waking up on the precipice of the Grand Canyon this morning.

I was (probably) still drunk from last night, feeling slightly lost and forlorn, and immediately got a call that changed my life:

The NBA Lockout, after 150 days of monotonous bullshit, is over.

I know you're probably expecting some massive write-up about how resilient the players were, how greedy the owners were or how obstinate both sides were, but I'm sorry, that's not happening. You're not getting some in-depth analysis of what happened and why, because frankly, I don't care.

What I really care about is that WE won. Not the players, not the owners, but us, the fans; the people that drive this business that was subject to such meticulous scrutiny and really make the NBA what it is. We were on the verge of being cheated out of an NBA season by trivial bullshit, and now by some act of divine intervention, we've been spared a whole winter of hockey and curling.

So crack a beer, light up a stogie (word to Red); celebrate. It's time for some fucking basketball...

It's Gonna Be a Long Winter...

Well, it's happened.

It lingered in the back of our minds all last season (as incredible as it was), loomed over our heads all summer, and as the weeks and days kept counting down, all we could do was watch in disbelief, and hope, against all indications, for salvation. No such luck.

After all the closed-door meetings, hardball tactics, verbal warfare, media obscurity and other muddling bullshit, we're left with an empty void where our 2011-2012 season was supposed to be.

With the NBAPA's head in a noose, there are obviously many more questions than answers about where the league's headed, but this situation has devolved beyond any fan's worst fears. Whatever the outcome, we're going to spend the coming months listening to painful litigation quotes instead of EJ, Kenny and Chuck, seeing more of David Stern and Derek Fisher than Blake Griffin and Kevin Durant (not that we haven't enough already), impossibly trying to fill the NBA's shoes with some other sport.

As a die-hard NBA fan, it took me a very long time to come to terms with what happened here. I committed a long ago to remove myself from the lockout; to not read into the shallow and misleading quotes being fed to the media dogs outside every meeting. Basically I was in denial, but now that we've been robbed of a season, I've been served the rudest of wake-up calls. I still don't know exactly how to feel; I'm shocked, a little depressed, but most of all I'm angry. No, sorry, angry doesn't really cut it, I'm fucking livid.

What enrages me the most is what's cost us this season: rich people being greedy. The casual uneducated fan would immediately assume I'm talking about the players for demanding pay increases when they're mostly already millionaires, but no, I'm talking about the ones even higher on the pyramid; the billionaires trying to manipulate them like puppets on strings.

I'm talking about Dan Gilbert, the small-market owner taking a hard line on salaries after he blew his chance to keep a once-in-a-lifetime talent by overspending on role players. I'm talking about Bruce Ratner, to whom the New Jersey Nets were little more than a chess piece (the piece Malcolm Gladwell did for Grantland's a must-read). I'm talking about every NBA owner (and it's the vast majority of them) that inked ridiculous contracts over the past decade, establishing an unsustainable spending pattern that was either going to drive them into bankruptcy or eventually screw over the players. And eventually just happened.

The facts are right in front of us: Right now, Vince Carter (10), Michael Redd (5), and Rashard Lewis (2) are all among the highest-paid players................(ok, just wanted to give you a second to absorb the fact that Rashard Lewis is actually making the 2nd-most money in the NBA), years removed from their last All-Star game, never franchise guys. There's plenty more: Hedo Turkoglu. Luke Walton. Erick Dampier. Beno Udrih. Jerome James. Joe Johnson. Amir Johnson. Josh Childress. Eddy Curry. Andrea Bargnani. Larry Hughes.....It goes on and on. No wonder they were losing millions.

What the owners have done with this precedent is present players with an illegitimate ultimatum: either accept a lower percentage of the BRI - and thus a sizable paycut - or the vast majority of teams continue to hemorrhage money while they try to keep up. They're looking for the guys who ultimately drive their investment and determine its value to shoulder the load for their own stupidity. That's why we're not watching the NBA right now. And that's fucking ridiculous.

The owners dug their own graves, and too proud (or savvy, whatever) to accept blame, took a hard stance applying pressure on those who they saw as below them. As much as I wish a deal could've been reached, a big part of me respects the players for not giving in, and furthermore for proving their love for the game: using the lockout to throw impromptu All-Star games and charity events, trying to ensure that Basketball Never Stops.

But today, it seems like it has. Sure, we can still watch college hoops, maybe find a good site for streaming EuroLeague games, but the fix we crave as basketball fans is going to be much harder to come by as we sit through what's sure to be long, cold winter.

Hope you all like hockey.

Dream On

Lebron James had a dream.

He dreamt of fame; media glory and international worship. He envisioned success; highlight reels, blowout wins, All-NBA nods and Championships. But he thought it was all going to come easy after "taking his talents to South Beach", that life was going to be a breeze with Wade and Bosh along for the ride. He was rudely awakened several times this season; by the Heat's horrible start, cohesion issues with Wade in the halfcourt, and issues closing games against good teams that plagued them right until the playoffs. But still, his dream stayed alive.

It was surely dancing merrily through his head as he basked in the media spotlight last summer, blissfully feigning deliberation while he plotted his exit from Cleveland. It was definitely consuming his thoughts when he had an Adam Morrison-esque on-court meltdown after finally beating the Celtics, in the 2nd Round. It was absolutely all he could think about a couple Thursdays ago when the Heat took a seemingly insurmountable 4th quarter lead in Game 3, and began celebrating like they were already the champs....Right before Dallas stormed back and brought Lebron's dreams crashing back down to reality where, after last night's fatal loss, they'll remain grounded.

Don't get me wrong, last night was about so many other things, but not only was watching Lebron fail extremely satisfying for someone who spent years cheering him on only to have him pull the most despicable cop-outs in the history of pro sports, it upholds justice for the good of the game.

Miami went about the whole thing wrong; they concocted a sleazy pillaging of top-tier talent (perhaps illegally), presented themselves as though they were Gods, boasted and made fools of themselves for most of the season (even when they were losing), let their coach admit guys cried after losses (now we know who), behaved like 4th graders in the Finals, and ultimately got what they deserved; a humbling loss on their homecourt to a team that wanted it more. Their entire season was a crash course in poor conduct, with James at the forefront. His Twitter was on point for once; this wasn't his time. They'll get sent back to the drawing board, and hopefully (for their sake) come back more humble and focused. He obviously didn't learn from his failure in Cleveland, or the severe lynching his image has taken this year, so who's to know if he'll get the message, or keep dreaming.

But yeah, the Dallas Mavericks! NBA Champions! Fuck, that feels weird, not only because it's never been said before, but because jokes about the Mavs choking were as longstanding a spring tradition as horrible officiating. I'm glad to see them break through, even though I've spent more time hating on Dirk than pretty much anything else in life over the past few years. He really impressed me this spring, putting his team on his back and delivering absolute monster performances, closing out games with an unseen killer instinct, battling through injury and illness, and, in contrast to the Heat, acting like a deserving champion. If you're still a Dirk hater, get over yourself, you're too fucking hard to please.

Beyond the Diggler solidifying his Hall of Fame legacy, Jason Kidd was also able to add a title to his Springfield credentials after many a playoff run; if he wasn't a wife-battering asshole I'd probably be happy for him because he's, at 38, still an amazing player. It's nice to see Jason Terry get a ring, Tyson Chandler too; JJ Barea looked like the hungriest guy out there and was a huge X Factor, so he deserves his shine. Shawn Marion's a wash 'cause he played very well, but a huge part of me can't help but feel like his locker-room diva act that forced his way out Phoenix is the biggest single reason why Steve Nash doesn't have a ring...and Deshawn Stevenson...Just hilarious...I'm putting his over-under for Lebron jokes at their postgame party around 80.

Nobody deserves this championship more than Mark Cuban though, because he's the best owner in pro sports. He was like a kid with a toy, except that toy happened to be an NBA franchise. But he took great care of it; he bought a team that had sucked ass for years, was losing its fan base, and fading into obscurity, and immediately made them relevant. Not only were they winning games, and entertaining everybody, but Cuban was drumming up publicity with his in-game antics and constant scrutiny of league policy. Sure, he overpaid players (and didn't overpay the one he should have) but he treated them amazingly well, pimped out their locker room, flew their families around, and created a winning environment that finally reached its apex last night.

Now, much like last year, we drift into an offseason of uncertainty, and its hard to fathom, but much bigger outcomes are at stake. As much as I loved watching Lebron's dream die, I can only hope it's not too long before he gets to chase it again.

The ReBirth of Dirk: Back to the Finals

June 24, 1998;

The soon-to-be-vacated GM Place in Vancouver played host to the NBA Draft; one that would produce a multitude of success stories such as Paul Pierce, Vince Carter, Antawn Jamison, and of course, Michael Olowokandi. Somewhat buried in the annals of franchise-altering horrible trades was one that went down that day; the Milwaukee Bucks snagged German 7-foot prospect Dirk Nowitzki with the 9th pick, and shipped him to the Dallas Mavericks with Pat Garrity for 6th pick Robert Traylor. The Bucks took the loser's end hard, as Traylor's career buckled before it ever took off, while Dallas rode Nowtizki's revolutionary play to a decade's worth of playoff appearances. The tragic part about Dirk's success was that it never seemed to come when it mattered most, and the Mavs flamed out in the playoffs, year after year.

A tragedy of a much greater magnitude took form on May 11th, when Traylor - who had been plagued by conditioning issues throughout his career - suffered a fatal heart attack at his Puerto Rico apartment. Around the same time, the Diggler - who had been plagued by playoff invisibility issues throughout his career - began an all-out assault on opposing defences that's forced even the most jaded Dirk hater (me, in case you're wondering) to admit that he's playing the best basketball in the NBA right now, leading an emphatic charge into the Finals.

Now, by no means am I trying to claim that some preordained supernatural bullshit is connecting these two incidents. Nor am I even suggesting that Traylor's passing made a light go off in Dirk's head that produced this devastating blitzkrieg. But the irony of this timing can't be ignored, because Nowitzki is suddenly playing playoff basketball with a sense of something he's never grasped before: urgency. He's 32, and been in the NBA for 12 years; he saw the window closing and knew this was the time to go all-out with the best team he's ever played on. Dirk spent years listlessly drifting through the playoffs; sure he scored in bunches, but he hardly ever served his opponents with the vicious killer instinct he's displayed these past few weeks. The kind of mentality that evokes not only respect, but fear.

The Mavs now roll into the Finals, looking to avenge the collapse that has marred their last decade's success, against the (well, not really) same team that buried them. While they have depth and experience on Miami for days, the Heat just beasted the team that was probably best equipped to defend them in the NBA and are looking very serious. Miami (obviously) owns the edge at 2 & 3, and although that's about all they have going for them, stopping Lebron & Wade (I'm not going to mention Bosh because as impressive as he was against the Bulls, Boozer was a bum, and Nowitzki is going to destroy him, like confidence-shattering ownage) - by anyone's measuring stick, two of the top five players in the league - when they're this close to a title is going to be very f***ing difficult, especially for a team with only two serviceable defenders to throw at them.

The key to this series figures to be the ability of Dallas' offensive secondary to offset the LeWyane Effect. If guys like Barea and Terry, and Marion can overcome what's sure to be a stifling defensive effort from James and Wade, and provide Dirk with consistent scoring support, then Dallas will be tough to beat. But what I can't get out of my head is how the Western Finals were essentially decided by OKC repeatedly shooting themselves in the face down the stretch of close games, while the Heat closed out several games with crippling 4th quarters, forcing silence upon all those that criticized their clutch factor this season. Which is what's forcing me to believe that despite Dirk's emancipation, the Mavs are, once again, about to come up short. I really hate saying this (even if it validates my preseason prediction): Heat in 6. It's a shame the title celebration won't look this stupid.

For All The Marbles: Game 7

In what's been a nothing-short-of ridiculous postseason so far, we've somehow managed to claw within hours of the Conference Finals without getting to check out a Game 7. Something had to be done, and stepping up to answer the call, as they did when we needed someone to force a triple-overtime thriller, and humiliate the Spurs in the first round before that, ladies and gentlemen; The Memphis Grizzlies.

It's Win or Go Home for both them and the Thunder, and Banter's crack team of resident hoops junkies have assembled to break down (and make fun of) the action. For this afternoon's Game Notes, I'll be joined by my boys The General; Official Thunder Bandwagon Captain, Streeze; Isaiah Rider enthusiast and Blue Chips extra, and Goodie; ruthless high-post assassin, and the subject of a $900 swing dependent on this game's outcome (let's say he's not rooting for the underdogs). The stakes (among other things) are high at Banter HQ, but nowhere higher than Oklahoma City Arena (...Really? That's the best name you could come up with?). Someone's going to end a season today, let's see who's got it in them:

The General: I'm expecting a big game from Kevin Durant...(If Westbrook passes him the ball)

- Meanwhile, Z-Bo's rocking a scowl in the shootaround like he just got told his contract's been voided. Kendrick better watch out.

- Kush in the air, time for tipoff. Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo (seriously) back in the starting lineup.

General: (on OKC's first possession) This is a good sign, Westbrook's touched it twice, and passed it twice

- Apparently, I'm the only one of us cheering for the Grizz, who've beasted their way to an early 10-8 lead. Gasol = The perfect center for a team named after a bear.

Goodie: (on OJ Mayo's real name) Was the " J' " really necessary? Like, "Anthony" is a real name...

Streeze: (on Zach Randolph's recent contract) God he makes so much money...Outside of basketball....Moving drugs.

- Memphis is bringing it early on the road; Conley buries a nice reverse lay-in to put them up 13-8 at the first break.

- Question of the day: What to do with Rudy Gay? (what do you say?)

- Doris Burke is wearing a totally horrifying outfit. It's like she realized Craig sager was stepping his suit game up a bit and saw a niche opportunity. Seriously, Don Cherry looked better last night.

- Kendrick Perkins is being completely overwhelmed by Gasol on both ends.

Streeze: The way he runs, no lumbers, makes me think he won't be around in ten years.

- Durant's doing his thing at the line (go with what works...), OKC up 21-17 as the 1st closes. Memphis and OKC are 7 and 8 for 22 from the field, respectively.

Streeze: How much do you think the people sweeping the floors get paid? I'd probably pay them to do that and get those seats.

- "Running Down A Dream" plays during the pre-break highlight reel. Streeze: Nobody on these teams listens to Tom Petty. Except maybe Nick Collison.

- Daequan Cook, welcome to the Mike Miller Club of wide-open jumpshooters who can't hit wide-open jumpshots. Goodie: When all you do is shoot how can you not just master the dribble-release?

General: Eric Maynor or Steve Blake?

Streeze: Blake was garbage this year... He just put on a headband and missed threes.

Streeze lightens up the commercial break: Which white player in the NBA do you think gets the most ass? General (immediately): Birdman...But Jimmer's gonna get the most handjobs.

Goodie (10 seconds before Westbrook sprints through Memphis on the break and hits KD for three): They're such a better team when Westbrook can get loose in transition

- OKC up 10 halfway into the 2nd; Memphis leads playoff teams with 3 wins after trailing by doubles in the 2nd half, so the Thunder had best not get lazy, or things are going to get unpleasant for me.

Perkins turns the ball over and blows a gasket;

Streeze: God, When you run out of milk, and you're Kendrick Perkins' wife... you're terrified

- As Westbrook careens out of control into Shane Battier, we get curious and find out that GRANT HILL of all people, at 38, after injuries robbed him of a first-ballot Hall of Fame career, put his body on the line to draw the charge more than anyone in the league this year. Way to go.

- Durant makes icy 30-footers look way too casual. 40-29 OKC, 2 left. "Goodie's paying for a stripper if OKC wins". Just a casual Sunday afternoon.

- Durant with 18 in the first half, leading OKC to a 42-34 edge. The Westbrook Factor's been minimal: 7 assists/8 shot attempts = series high.

- From Twitter: "At 3 AM, in a dimly lit bar, Tony Allen's jumper would still go home alone"

- Ovinton kicks off the third by getting under Westbrook's skin and drawing a T, then burying an icy jumper; 42-38. Goodie (on his beard): Harden's grandfathering you.

- Goodie's financial implications are now visibly wearing on his tone when he sincerely asks Russell Westbrook to "please, stop dribbling".

General: I heard they're trading Cold Aldrich and Daequan Cook for Dwight Howard

- Memphis, after a 3-assist first half, is getting back to what won them games and moving the ball well for an open Conley 3; 52-49 OKC

- Durant buries a bomb from 3 to put the Thunder up 8. Streeze: He's got swag for sale today

- Memphis keeps trying to hit home runs from 3. They need more doubles.

- Durant buries another bomb from 3, after Harden beats the shot clock with one, and the place goes buck as a 14-point hole forces a Grizzlies timeout. Westbrook's a bucket away from a triple double.

- James Harden is the most popular guy in this room as he keeps Memphis in their 14-point grave going into the 4th.

- OKC's bench holds serve to open the 4th, keeping the lead at 14 and sending Randolph to the bench lookin' like Charles Barkley after a Pizza Hut buffet.

- The crowd enthusiasm from the Thunder is amazing; They're all on their feet chanting "O-K-C!" with 8:30 left. Say what you want about how they got them (and there's plenty to be said), but these fans deserve this team.

- Russell Westbrook just notched the first Game 7 triple-double since Pippen in '92. #wow

- Memphis gets bailed out by a rare case of good officiating after a faulty shot-clock violation, but OKC's stellar post defense turns them away again. Still down 15 with 6 to go.

- If there was any doubt left, James Harden just killed it. Up 19 with 2:32 left, the Grizz are Thunderstruck.

- Durant leaves to a standing O; why not, he just killed the biggest game of his career on the heels of one of his worst.

- Book the win; 105-90. Durant = The Man. Westbrook = The Unsung Hero. Goodie's Wallet = swole.

Before we get onto the Conference Finals, a quick requiem for the Memphis Grizzlies; a team that wasn't supposed to do anything this year, was home to a midseason-card-game-brawl, lost one of its best players, and oh, only beat the best team in the West and came within a game of doing the impossible yet again. Enjoy your summer boys, if anyone's earned it, you guys have.

My Words Taste...Bitter

I ate my own words last night.

It was really uncomfortable.

Not only was I tied up and force-fed, but they went down about as smoothly as a day-old donair and rested twice as bad in my stomach. I felt like throwing up all night and hardly slept.

The Dallas Mavericks, and in particular Dirk Nowitzki, did what I couldn't have fathomed last night; sweeping homecourt from the Lakers with a decisive win that left the two-time champs reeling. Disco (and unlikely sidekick JJ Barea) buried LA down the stretch with a series of cold-hearted daggers; Kobe was beside himself, Pau was (predictably) helpless, hell Jack Nicholson was losing his cool. Boos rained down from the Staples center while the "favorites" put themselves in a crippling hole against, of all teams, the one with the most troubling past of playoff collapses.

Game 2 forced us all to wake up to the reality that these are indeed a new Dallas Mavericks; now fortified by likely the best defender they've had in the past decade, they've started to adjust and be able to win games without consistent scoring depth. They still have a decent corps of guns that can punish a sleeping defense (see: last night), but these Mavs have adopted a defensive toughness unseen in the past, and it's made them a completely different team in the playoffs. Their history was so deep that their playoff success was one of those "see it to believe it" type phenomena. Well...Believe.

The odds and momentum are heavily in their favor. We've seen this movie before, but there's likely a plot twist or two in store.

Fight For Your Right! Sacramento and the US Get Theirs

What a glorious Monday!

I say that somewhat facetiously because a) it's Monday, b) it's really shitty outside, and c) I just had a week in Vegas get thwarted (the post from the Bellagio sports book would've been something else...). But last night marked the culmination of the most epic wild goose chase of all time; the US finally tracked down Osama Bin Laden, and gave him what was hopefully the slowest death possible. Any day marking the end of the most heinous terrorist alive is one worth celebrating, and although this completes the prime objective of the vague and much-sidetracked "War on Terror", it hardly eliminates the threat that looms worldwide. We can only pray that the images of 9/11 remain horrifying memories that are never re-lived, and that those who have to live in constant fear of violence can be liberated by this endeavor.

On a much smaller scale, but still importantly, today also marks a massive victory for small-market NBA teams, as the Maloof brothers have agreed to keep the Kings in Sacramento for at least the next year while All-Star turned Mayor Kevin Johnson tries to cobble together the cash to keep the team around. The Maloofs say they were swayed by fan support and enthusiasm from several local wallets, but the Commish could have also -to a certain degree- finally put his foot down against owners being idiots with their money and shipping a franchise to the most attractive market to stop the bleeding, leaving a city of pissed-off fans and making everybody look bad. In either case, what was once the Association's most rabid fanbase can attempt to hold onto their only major sports team (hell, even their WNBA team folded) and find a new arena.

Aside from being a nice moral plus to a league that's never long on good PR, the non-move sets a valid precedent for owners, fans and local authorities. Hats off to KJ and his band of local businessmen. It's the closest save in recent memory, and proof that the right combination of enthusiasm and money can save a team from stupidity and greed. Well, unless this happens.

Back on the court, the 2nd Round got underway yesterday, with the Heat and Grizzlies pulling out impressive wins, with slight assists from some bad officiating and worse crunch-time decision making from Russell Westbrook;

Becoming the first 8-seed to first strike blood in Round 2 solidified Memphis as a threat. They frustrated the Thunder on D, moved the ball extremely well, and got a truly scary performance from their post duo. I immediately regret saying what I did about this series being a walk, but I also seriously doubt OKC will play worse than they did in Game 1 for the rest of this series. Westbrook was simply atrocious down the stretch, turning the ball over whenever he wasn't forcing bad shots and freezing out KD, who you know, only went on a personal 14-4 run to win their last game. No biggie.

Boston looked gassed against a Heat team that came out with too much intensity, and too much Dwyane Wade. A lot was made of Wade's regular-season struggles against the Celts (and his consequent 3-hour pregame shootaround), but he completely torched them yesterday, and harassed Ray Allen on every cut. The Celtics' D keyed in on him too much, leaving James Jones open for the easiest 25 points of his life. The story of this game was of course Pierce's questionable ejection, which punctuated a scrappy game and set the tone for serious rivalry. Furthermore, it highlights a league-wide crackdown on players' emotions that's, honestly, pretty f***ing stupid. Stupid, not only because of situations like this where a team's go-to scorer sat out the final minutes of a playoff game on a bad call, but because NBA basketball, especially in the playoffs, is an emotional contest that thrives off of players being 100% invested in the game. Putting the players on such a short leash, under constant scrutiny for getting into it with each other, can't be a healthy trend for a league facing a lockout.

But all complaints aside, today's about something bigger than basketball. Justice and a purpose were served in high order when Bin Laden took the Big L. Hopefully it's not the last step towards eradicating the type of hatred that continues to breed conflict.