Here We Go Again...

I fucking hate winter.

This isn't some kind of casual "this moron's driving ten under the limit!" or "that emo couple over in the corner of the library needs to lay off the heavy petting" half-hearted discontent, but unrelenting despising. The miserable bite of the cold. The mounds of emission-stained snow. The nasal congestion that always ensues. Exams. Term papers. Christmas carolers.....Ugh. It's nature's version of The English Patient; long, confusing and depressing. Half of me doesn't blame Bosh and Lebron for signing with the Heat if only to escape the chilly abyss.

Of course, as with most things in life, there's an upside to this shitty turn of events; when the weather falls off, it's a sure sign that the NBA season's not far away. Sure enough, in just under 48 hours the 2010-11 season will tip off, giving fans plenty of reasons to get excited:

10. The End of Baseball

Seriously. What a waste of time. A pointlessly long 160-game season, consisting of 98% stationary "athletes" who treat HGH like it's a column in their box score. Any "sport" in which a man in David Wells' physical condition can be an elite performer should be broadcast exclusively on ESPN3. Not a single one of us should be sad to see it go...And even if you are, don't worry, it's not like "Spring Training" doesn't start in f***ing February or anything.

9. Miami Brings the Heat

Some of us will love them, a lot of us will hate them, but all of us are going to have our eyes glued on South Beach this season. Like it or not, the Superfriends are gonna be the talk of the NBA. They're gonna hog beat writers, tabloids and highlight reels like Ben Gordon with the rock in the 4th quarter, but their situation will be compelling regardless of how it plays out. There's not much to be said about them that hasn't been a million times by any basketball fan, so let's just enjoy the show.

8. Being David Kahn

I have a very tough time figuring out how this guy manages to keep a straight face when he appears in public. I think it must be incredibly difficult to try and rationalize (to a large audience) your extended praise of - and financial commitment to - Darko Milicic, your unconstructive point guard hoarding or explaining your apparent side gig as Michael Beasley's drug counsellor, without at least smirking. Even deeper, I'm astonished that a look of unmistakable "...dude...they actually still haven't fired me!" disbelief isn't constantly plastered on his mug. As confounding as this is for me, after the summer saw him take on more dead weight and trade his best player for a pair of New Balances, the biggest mystery is going to be figuring out just what exactly Kahn's trying to do with his franchise.

7. Redemption Songs

Comebacks are always an essential part of a good season; guys who overcome any of many hurdles to get their once-derailed careers back on track. There's no shortage of potential this year, beginning with the well-chronicled woes of one Yao Ming. The Rockets center will be on the shortest of leashes as he delicately tries not to shatter the glass slippers that support his 7'6'' frame for the 328th, and potentially final time. Speaking of short leashes, Gilbert Arenas is back, ironically now at shooting guard, hoping to make it through an NBA season for the first time in five years. Hedo Turkoglu finds himself in an ideal system for his game after a season of utter embarassment in Toronto, and Blake Griffin will finally get a chance to suit up and bring some hope to LA's other team. Andrew Bogut aims to shake off a horrific arm injury, while Michael Redd tries to salvage his career, both would be key to Milwaukee's sudden rebirth...And then there's Greg Oden. Portland's wayward big man has averaged a whopping 20 games over his first 3 seasons, while his one-time draft rival is the trendy MVP favorite. Any of these stories having a happy ending would be an inspring touch to the season, but Oden's has to be the longshot.

6. Thunderstruck

Seats on the Oklahoma City bandwagon have reportedly been breaking sales records at Ticketmaster; everyone from analysts to casual fans seem to be rooting for the ahead-of-their-time Thunder, who appear primed to seize control of a homecourt seed out West. Seriously. The team that was sweeping up the heavy dust in the West basement 18 months ago grew up some fast. With Durant and Westbrook fresh off the most constructive basketball experience of their lives, this team reeks of upside and has a loud cheering section. OKC has quickly evolved from transplanted mess to media sweetheart, and just might become one of the NBA's best teams.

5. More Ron Artest

With every NBA season comes the renewed promise of more quality time with Ron Ron, and the complete lack of limits on the zany shit he might do. After he's done auctioning off his championship ring, there's no telling how Artest will behave as he grows accustomed to life On Top. Maybe he'll compensate with a crown during pregame. Hell, maybe he'll build a palace with his bare hands in the Staples Center parking lot and throw Hennessy parties at halftime. That's the thing with Ron though, he's the biggest box of chocolates Forrest Gump's mom ever bought, there's no telling what we're in store for, but bet on it being completely hilarious.

4. The Return of Court Surfing

Canadian television is horribly neglectful of the NBA, whose season unfortunately syncs perfectly with that of the omnipotent NHL. While hockey dominates most of the sports stations, quality NBA broadcasts are hard to come by. Not only are the habitually awful Raptors playing in over half the games, but the on-air personalities are bland, annoying, obviously Canadian. Breaking the mold cast by Rod Black and Jack Armstrong is the off-center hilarity of Sid Sixseiro and Tim Micallef, who host this weekly basketball ChatRoulette, hopping over to a new game when the current one gets boring. Sid and Tim layer the action with irreverent banter and goofy jokes, topping things off with Court Cuts, the greatest 3 minutes of the week.

3. Like Kobe

I hate going there with the Jordan comparisons, but Kobe Bryant's probably as close as we've seen to His Airness, and with a hand's worth of rings and a dynasty in the making, Bryant is approaching that Rare Air of finally living up to these lofty parallels. But at this point, can't we stop measuring him against the Greatest and just appreciate him as one of the best? We're going to be witnessing history; a crucial chapter in the epic tale of a once-in-a-generation player who always appeared to be jumping at a bar above his own lofty heights. As Kobe builds his impressive legacy, let's not call him Like Mike; let him be Kobe. The least he can ask for at this point in a legendary career is a name for himself.

2. ...Ever Heard of a Lockout?

Let us also not forget that this might be the last full season we get for a while. The players and owners appear to be miles apart on a new CBA, and a lockout of at least a few months is apparently inevitable. So let us all take moment to appreciate what we have, let us not take it for granted. I know it sounds corny, but believe me, next winter when you're stuck watching hockey and curling, seeing more of David Stern than Kobe, Lebron and Durant combined, you'll remember.

1. Behold, League Pass

And on a personal note, the roommates and I decided to splurge on a sports package, which includes my golden ticket to uninhibited NBA coverage.A ny game I want, any time I want. I'm literally shaking as I type this just thinking about it, I'm more excited than I've been since my parents took me to Disney World. On premonition alone, I'd urge any NBA fan to invest, especially Canadians who can save themselves from another season of ballet basketball and Leo Rautins. Or just roll by the crib and see how great it is; I'll be here all winter.

Sticks and Stones Break Bones...Apparently So Do Suitcases

It's that time of year again; the leaves are falling, baseball's almost over (thank God) and Carlos Boozer's injured, yes the NBA season's just around the corner. It's shaping up to be a compelling season, with many stories surrounding a few great teams and the many who aspire to run with them someday. As always in October, there's plenty abuzz in the league, but before I get on with things, a salute is due to New York streetball legend John Strickland, who passed away in his sleep this week at just 38. Most recently an on-court and front-office player form my hometown Halifax Rainmen, his influence ran much deeper: (from the New York Post)

Strickland’s reach goes so far that even Miami Heat star Lebron James mourned his passing on his Twitter account saying: “R.I.P to homie Strick.”Finish Your Breakfast”. Roc Boyz in the building.” Strickland was mentioned in Jay-Z’s hit song Public Service Announcement in the line: “No one can do it better. I check cheddar like a food inspector. My homey Strick told me, ‘Dude, finish your breakfast.’... As a low-post wizard and a superb passer, he once averaged more than 40 points per game at Nike Pro City, considered the circuit’s primer league. Strickland became the first person to win a title there as a player and a coach when he led Gold’s Gym to the championship this summer.

Obviously a huge blow to the basketball community; I'd honestly heard that line hundreds of times, ignorant to it being about the same guy helping hold down my city's only link to pro hoops. Rest in peace Strick, all the best to his family and the Rainmen.

Back in the NBA, the Carmelo Anthony trade rumors that dominated the past couple of weeks have dissipated. After Melo showed up training camp denying any interest in a trade and saying he was perfectly happy, things curiously faded between the Nuggets and the indiscriminate list of teams they had been openly talking to. Based on the reported offers and the complexity of most deals, it sounds like the Nuggets are learning the hard way what Phoenix did every year for the last 3: It's hard to get legit return on a superstar. Denver's going to have to make a rather shitty decision pretty soon: (discounting the .006% chance Carmelo isn't completely full of shit and all these trade rumors are unfounded) either get lowballed for their franchise player or linger on with this imposition looming.

Carlos Boozer and Dwyane Wade have surprised few and vexed many injuring themselves already; Boozer's hand the apparent victim of a dreadedly sinister.....path-blocking suitcase. For some reason, most of the media attention has shone on Boozer and his repeated bouts with the chilling list, but Wade's spotty bill of health seems like a much more pressing matter for the Heat; the plan behind having him exert himself less doesn't seem to be producing the right outcomes. Miami's likely going to bring him back slowly and lose ground in what's sure to be an adjustment process; an injury was bound to happen but one this early, before they've developed any kind of momentum, is critical. Boozer's baggage is clearly a setback for the Bulls, but not only are the stakes not as high for them, plugging 'Los into their offensive scheme in a few weeks will be far easier than orchestrating the co-existence of the two most potent and ball-dominant scorer/distributers in the NBA.

The preseason tipped off with the usual Euroleague cross-promotion, only with their champs (FC Barcelona) knocking off the reigning Lakers. There have been alarms raised by pundits who see this as a cause for concern in LA, but c'mon really? This is the preseason, the rust is getting knocked off (along with a few spare players) and bench mobs are running wild. This isn't a tangible gauge of how teams will play, hell the Raptors are scoring blowout wins. Not only is international basketball getting better by leaps and bounds (like you didn't know), but most NBA teams, let alone the one with maybe the safest bet on playing 'til June, don't give a fuck a right now. Let's not make this into more than it is.

The NBA's annual GM Survey dropped last week, and apparently the high minds disagree with my title prediction, overwhelmingly picking the Lakers to 3-peat. Can't say I mind it. They'll be very, very tough, being not only extremely talented, but having poise on Boston, experience on Miami, and everything on just about everyone out West. I stand by my selection, but regardless of who comes out on top I feel like this is going to be a very competitive Finals; one to rival last year's, which is the only prediction I really care about getting right.

...And in unrelated news, the downward spiral of Steve Francis continues: the former All-Star, whose career arc took a curiously steep dip in the middle of his prime, was arrested yesterday at LAX for public intoxication. An altercation at a ticket counter led to police being called, and Francis posting $10 G's bail after the cuffs were slapped on, he was "intoxicated, unable to care for himself, and combative toward police". Nice to see you're enjoying retirement, Steve.