End of an Odyssey

Well it's finally over. After numerous on-court outbursts, media-chanelled arguments, fines, suspensions, banishings and fatalities, the New York Knicks have reached a buyout agreement with Stephon Marbury, ending one of the most bitter relationships in sports. Although all us hoop heads have been kept thoroughly entertained these past few seasons by the ongoing beef between Starbury and his wayward employers, the whole saga was getting kind of stale. What began as arguments with coaching staff over philosophical differences escalated to public fallouts with teammates, an eventual dismissal from the lineup and painful buyout negotiations. Things always appeared to have hit rock bottom, only to have things grow more sour. It was amusing but at the same time depressing; here was Coney Island's savoir, a guy who used to be one of the best PGs in the League, returning to his hometown only to run his career into a brick wall and waste away his talent in designer threads on New York's bench. His own stubborn insistence on being bought out at 100% made it difficult for the Knicks to part with him, keeping a maligned, but insanely talented player off the court.

Whether he got paid in full or not, Marbury has agreed to part ways with the Knicks just days before the March 1st deadline that will allow him to sign with another team for the postseason. The talk around the league from sources close to both parties is that his signing with the Boston Celtics is imminent, which will re-unite the Showbiz and KG duo that seemed destined to rule the West in the late 90's. You know how the rest went. Apparently, Minny wasn't big enough for the two young stars and Marbury demanded a move closer to home. He arrived in New Jersey where he established himself as an All-League talent but began a steady descent into mediocrity and beyond, his teams always underachieved, his abilities as a leader were doubted. His slide culminated in the New York disaster, which may have crippled his career beyond repair. Who knows if he's even the same player that put up mediocre numbers on a shitty team a few years ago.

You all know how Garnett's story goes too; spent years trying to drag the Wolves out of the first round, becoming one of the league's most endearing and revered players (no to mention one of its best), before finally being dealt to a competitive team and gripping the Larry O as soon as it was within reach. His apparently imminent reunion with Marbury would bring full circle a duo that has gone in perfectly contrasting directions since splitting up, and bring Stephon into an environment unlike any he's experienced. Here he'll be asked to do for the team and not for self; play 5-man basketball, put his body on the line and get stats out of mind, concepts which hopefully are not beyond his grasp after numerous dysfunctions and dismissals have marred his career.

...and so Stephon finds himself back under Garnett's shadow, desperately seeking to contribute to a title defense. Hopefully by now he understands the point that he's had to learn harder than Kobe, T-Mac and Vince: being the man comes with a price. Marbury paid with laboring through the prime of his career in the Lottery, and more recently in a basketball-less abyss. Hopefully he's taken a page from KG's book, better yet read the whole thing a few times and adopted his philosophy because if Starbury's anywhere near the player he used to be he could mean the World to th Celtics...then again if he's the person he used to be he could seriously fuck things up.

In the Right Corner...

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to meet your Contenders. The NBA regular season's now somehow two thirds over. Teams league-wide are making final tweakings for a playoff push, some for a deep run into May and June. These are the League's elite, the ones who can hope to be raising the Larry O in June. With the postseason picture starting to take shape, here's a look at the Top 10 teams who could be last ones standing:

10. Houston Rockets
This is kind of a stretch. They're seriously deficient in the size, depth and (most notably) durability they'll need for a deep playoff run, but the balance the T-Mac's absence will bring to this roster will benefit them. When they don't have their best swingman playing like a mutant and ruining offensive flow, the Rockets are a coheisve team. They have the conference's best center, a maniac who can lock down anyone he faces, and an energetic supporting cast that although young and naive in the ways of the postseason, could take some teams by surprise.

9. New Orleans Hornets
Although they improved their roster and are (somehow) getting a better season out of Chris Paul, New Orleans hasn't made the bold claim for West supremacy everyone had anticipated. Instead they've swayed back and forth between brilliance and mediocrity, the recent Tyson Chandler trade fiasco certain to only add confusion to an already blurry season. That being said, counting Chris Paul out is never a good idea. His playoff debut was one of the most impressive ever, and after an epic bout with the Spurs, his team's had a taste of playoff battle and added Champion Journeyman James Posey; they should be better prepared this time around.

8. Portland Trailblazers
Another longshot, but I've gotta start this list with somebody. The Blazers are simply just ahead of their time; they've got all the right pieces for a title run, they'll need a few years before they ripen though. The fact that they're even in this conversation as one of the league's rawest teams should be enough satisfaction, and things are only bound to get better as Brandon Roy emerges as one of the league's best young players, Travis Outlaw's game continues to catch up with his freakish athleticism, Lamarcus Aldridge becomes more comfortable on the low block and Greg Oden (possibly) morphs into Patrick Ewing. This postseason will be a test of how ready they really are, but they've made a habit of exceeding expectations.

7. Orlando Magic
Just when they were looking like dangerous threat, riding the momentum of 4 straight W's over division leaders, Jameer Nelson goes down and brings Orlando back down to Earth. Getting Rafer Alston should help clot the bleeding but Nelson was vital to this team and their hopes of winning the East might hinge on healthy return, which looks shaky at this point. Oralndo's problem has always been peaking too early; bolting out of the gate them losing steam as the season winds down. They're plenty talented but against the likes of Boston or Cleveland in the second round, what's left of the Magic will have to dig real deep to stay alive.

6. Denver Nuggets
Maybe the most unlikely team on this list, the Nugs have held down a top-3 seed in the West through the absence of their most talented player. Now that Melo's returned, he fortifies a team that's now quarterbacked by a proven playoff vet (and former Finals MVP), who's instilled a winning attitude in Denver. They've improved defensively and play a game much more suited to the playoff grind; though still longshots to capture the title, they'll be a feared opponent that will probably win at least one series and begin building upon the foundations of mediocrity that have been long entrenched in the Mile High City.

5. Utah Jazz
Currently seeded 8th out West, the Jazz's talent belies their current record. They've stayed in the playoff hunt through extended absences of their two best players and 6th man; a testament to their talent and toughness. Their stars fell but their role players rose up to fill the void; Paul Millsap was almost an All-Star, CJ Miles became and athletic scoring threat and Ronnie Brewer continues to operate as one of the league's most underrated players. Now that Carlos Boozer is finally healthy again, Utah will have some time to gel before the playoffs begin and really assert themselves for the first time all season. We don't know what to expect yet, but trust that Jerry Sloan has some high expectations for this squad and should get them to perform as such.

4. San Antonio Spurs
Father Time seems to be catching up to the Spurs, who've looked more weathered this past year than ever. They lost several key veterans and have seen two of their big three on the chilling list for longer than they'd like. But as the Spurs usually do, they've found ways to win. Tim Duncan has been fundamentally brilliant and new additions like Roger Mason, Matt Bonner and rookie George Hill have filled gaps left in the rotation by departures and injuries. The Spurs are thus, not surprisingly, 2nd in the West and have been knocking off top contenders with the same cold, calculated efficiency of their glory days. They perenially peak for the postseason run after their February Rodeo Road Trip, which is bad news for Spurs Haters who can expect the best is yet to come from San Antonio. Their bench may be younger and shallower than in the past, but they've proven effective and are led by three of the most experienced playoff performers in the league. Nobody wants to play them, nobody should bet against them...unless they're playing one of these three teams:

3. Boston Celtics
KG's lingering kneww problem that's forced him to the sideline is a dark cloud hanging over the defending champs. While they've continued winning in his absence, without a healthy Garnett this team can book cruises and tee times for June. But once KG returns, they'll still have a month to work him back in before the playoffs begin and not many flaws to work out. The Celtics' defensive chokehold has looked as potent as last year and Rajon Rondo's emergence as a 4th gun on offense will give them a much needed boost in the postseason if Allen and Pierce have cold spells like they did against Atlanta and Cleveland last spring. They look set for another charge to the Finals, but I can't help but feel like it won't happen. For one, there was that spell back in January where they played like the bastard offspring of the Charlotte Bobcats and Washington Generals. Then there was that 18-point ass-whupping Cleveland put on them without Big Z, in what the Celts knew was a statement game. Then there's the intangible factor; the knowledge that yeah, they're the defending champs and have the winning experience they all lacked last year, but KG Ray and Paul got their rings after an endless odyssey and the rest of the team knows that consequently Garnett's much less likely to physically assault them. Complacent? No that's not these guys, but they'll be hard pressed to be as hungry this postseason.

2. Cleveland Cavaliers
Not only will KG's injury worry the Celts but will probably lose them the homecourt race to the Cavs, who are now back at full strength for the first time since the New Year and have seldom slipped all season. They seem destined for another playoff battle with Boston (this time for the East crown), and one has to think they'll have the edge. Cleveland took a newly fashioned roster into the playoffs last year, played some of their worst basketball possible and still took Boston to the 4th quarter of Game 7 before bowing out. This year their players are more familiar with each other and the addition of Mo Williams has worked wonders for their offensive potency. When you factor in #23's annual playoff retardedness, the aforementioned homecourt edge and the Cavs' (read: Lebron James') hunger for revenge, it's hard not to be optimistic about their chances for a return to the Finals, where they'd almost certainly play the only team to beat them at home this season:

1. Los Angeles Lakers
So Andrew Bynum's injured again. So what. That didn't stop Los Angeles from completely ruining the Western Conference before being swept up in a tidal wave of Celtic Pride last June. This season, the Lakers have looked even better, running away with the West and winning their big games. Kobe's adopted a more methodical form of brilliance and Pau Gasol has played his second fiddle brilliantly while Lamar Odom's adapted well to his supporting role. Their Bench Mob has continued its brilliance and even after shedding Vlad Rad and Chris Mihm to cut costs, they're probably still the League's deepest team. Bynum's absence wil hurt them most in the slow, physical grind of the playoffs but by the time LA faces a team that's really fucking with them, he'll likely be back close to 100%, and if he is, then it might be too late for anyone to stop them.

It's Been a Long Time/I Shouldnt've Left You...

What's up? I've been on the road for most of this week and haven't gotten a chance to put anything up here in a while; bad timing I know, this being one of the busiest times of the year in the NBA and whatnot, but I'm putting this up on a buddy's computer in Sackville, New Brunswick; the first time I've had internet since Sunday. So don't say I'm not trying here. With so much going on in the league right now, I figured I'd just post some random thoughts about the All-Star festivities, impeding trade deadline, and whatever else works. Enjoy:

- The All- Star Game was good fun as always; gotta love to see the league force the Kobe/Shaq co-MVP on us. As a die-hard fan I'm tired of these attempts to publicize a "feud" that, if it weren't for the league's publicity machine (and Shaq's subsequent attempts to fuel it), would've died a long time ago. Still, it's good to know these two can still join forces and win basketball games, even if they don't mean anything. Personally, I think Shaq had the MVP locked since his intro with the Jabawockeez (or however the hell they spell it). It was also nice that Mo Williams finally got the injury nod and received some recognition for the huge difference he's made in Cleveland this year; if Orlando got a requisite third All-Star based on their record, didn't it seem odd that the All-Star coach's squad only had one?

- The Dunk Contest kinda disappointed me; I was glad Dwight finally got to dunk on the 12-foot net (am I the only one who thinks he could've gone higher?), and it was cool to see Nate jump over a 7-footer (even if he did vault himself, just getting that high for 5'9" guy is 50-worthy), but fuck...I can't help but feel like the contest has become a gimmick. Dwight's phonebooth intro was hilarious when I first saw it, but in retrospect (especially after seeing Nate don his kryptonite outfit), it's getting a little out of hand. By the time the finals rolled around I felt like I was watching the Super Dave show or something...And the Commish needs to re-tweak the rules...2 minutes to get a dunk down and then 2 more attempts? I thought they learned their lesson a few years ago when the Birdman couldn't take flight. And don't force players to include a second man on their dunks. That's fucking stupid.

- Lebron in the dunk contest next year? Say it ain't so. Let's all pray he doesn't wuss out and other stars follow his lead; this could be the start of something huge.

- Word to Daequan Cook.

- And Kevin Durant....wow. Is anybody still claiming him and Oden have anything within the realm of a rivalry?

- Back in the real World, the Hornets had an awkward situation on their hands when Tyson Chandler, a recent victim of their cap-clearing efforts, failed his physical and was denied entry to Oklahoma City. Tyson now rejoins a team that tried to cut him loose, sending him to the Thunder of all teams, knowing that the top brass doesn't approve of his presence. Thing is though, Chris Paul does, and that's really all New Orleans should care about.

- Meanwhile, the Bulls actually did something kind of smart in the way of personnel moves; trading Drew Gooden and Andres Nocioni to the Kings for John Salmons and Brad Miller. I've been a fan of Salmons' game for a while; he's a versatile player who can handle, score and defend; really fill whatever role the Bulls ask of him. His addition also essentially relegates Larry Hughes to the bench, which can never hurt your chances if your team's short-term goals involve avoiding the Lottery. Miller gives them an able body in the post on offense; he may not be the player he was when the Bulls mistakenly got rid of him years ago, but he can still score better than any big man they've had since his departure and remains one of the best passing centers in the league. The Bulls also cleared the glut of power forwards ahead of Tyrus Thomas, who can hopefully become more consistent with some consistent minutes and deliver on those glimpses of brilliance he flashes every now and then. I dunno what to say about Sac-Town here, I have no idea what direction they're even headed in, and I don't really care either. They've officially assumed Indiana's old role as the League's most irrelevant team.

- ...And it appears the obituary I wrote for the Phoenix Suns might've been slightly premature. Instead of dealing Amar'e, they canned Terry Porter (as I'd suggested) and got back to the run game they thrived on. They consequently kicked off the season's second half with back-to-back 140-point blowouts of the Clippers (sure it's the Clippers but Phoenix will take it at this point). Good to have ya back fellas.

Enter The Matrix

Things were supposed to be different in Toronto this year. A franchise that has never really had it all figured out, they were supposed to compete this year; to be near the forefront of an Eastern Conference revival and make good on the progress they'd shown in recent seasons. As it sits, the Raps are firmly buried beneath many boxes of Christmas decorations in the Eastern Conference basement and in dire need of a shake-up. So the Raptors kicked off the annual Trade Deadline rush yesterday by shipping Jermaine O'Neal and Jamario Moon to Miami for Shawn Marion and the corpse of Marcus Banks. It's an interesting trade, one that isn't as terrible for either team as some recent deadline deals.

Let's start with Miami who are headed in the complete opposite direction as Toronto; a team that won 15 games last year and people were penning a fringe playoff contender. They've now solidified their place among the top 8 and should only improve with JO's addition. (Keep in mind, everything I'm about to say hinges on O'Neal's health, which given his recent track record is a shaky variable) His arrival will help shore up a thin front line that's been defensively inept; if O'Neal proved anything in T-Dot it's that he can still protect the paint with the best of them, although the lack of perimeter D meant he was being attacked from all angles. With Marion gone, I can see similar things happening in Miami.

Meanwhile, Marion's departure rids Miami of a player that probably wasn't ever part of their long-term plans and opens up time for future All-Star Michael Beasley to continue developing. He's shown vast improvements as the season's gone on and should slide comfortably into a starting role that will only the bolster the confidence his game thrives upon. Moon's addition may help some but his game's kinda schizophrenic. He's an insanely athletic player who shows occasional glimpses of competence, but his extended on-court napping and repulsive shot selection make him a liability.

What really confuses me about this move though is future implications for Miami; they're a rebuilding team who shipped an expiring deal for an overpaid big man, one who's hoarding $20 million off your cap and has serious long-term durability issues. Instead of staying under the cap after Marion came off the books and making a serious run at another superstar to join their core, they've picked up a deal they'll be hard-pressed to move. I expected better from Pat Riley.

Meanwhile, the Raptors are just rolling the dice, which at this point in their wayward season is totally legit. It's a calculated gamble though; they could've made much worse moves. O'Neal's presence didn't make them much tougher so they're going with a smaller, faster approach with Bargs as their big man. They'll add a defender on the perimeter, something their team needs desperately, and rid themselves of an overpriced investment. What's better, if the Marion experiment doesn't work out, his deal expires in a few months; it's unlikely he'll remain with the Raptors, so at the very least this trade pockets them a Get out of Jail Free card on the O'Neal acquisition.

They also are now forced to play small-ball (with Bargnani as your center you're trying to avoid playing the paint like it's herpes), hopefully run more and not run offensive sets through the post. It's an approach their team's better built for and Marion's ability to slash into the lane off the ball lets them mix it up offense instead of launching jumpers all night. Marion's also going to be able to give them more minutes and not be a nightly red flag health-wise, so from a basketball standpoint it's hard to criticize this trade. One could say the O'Neal era wasn't given much of a fair chance, but when you add a player to an otherwise unchanged core (unless you think Carlos Delfino was really The Answer) and the teams bombs this badly, it's safe to say things just aren't working out. It's a step in the right direction, but it's justthe first of many moves Toronto needs to make to get to where they had hoped to be by this season.

Setting Suns

Well, it sure was fun while it lasted; that too-good-to-be-true union of the league's most prolific pick-and-roll artist with its most explosive finisher is about to be abruptly ended when Phoenix inevitably deals Amar'e Stoudemire sometime in the next week or so. The trade will put the final nail in the coffin of Phoenix's Seven Seconds or Less era, signaling a rebuilding effort that (for some reason) is centering around three players in their mid-30's. It seems like just yesterday that Phoenix was a perennial contender playing the most electrifying game we'd ever seen; now they're a lethargic, underacheiving squad who are about to lose their best player for discounted return and are staring a difficult future in the face. What the hell went wrong?

Well first there was the departure of the Colangelos. Despite the disaster that Bryan's got on his hands in Toronto, there's no denying that he assemeled an uncannily talented roster in Phoenix. His father was valued and respected in his capacity as President, probably why US Basketball made him an offer he couldn't refuse to oversee the re-birth of their quest for Olympic gold. This superstar tandem was hastily replaced by a dude with no front-office experience whose first major acquisition set the wheels in motion for this team's demise:

Marion-for-Shaq was doomed from its inception. Sure, Marion was increasingly unhappy with his role; his production was suffering and his presence in the locker room was butchering team morale. He's an extremely well-rounded player with borderline All-Star numbers, who could surely draw much interest around the league. So why the fuck accept an offer for a player who not only has seen his legendary past drown in a bog of excess weight, but is bar none the worst fit as a centrifugal force in a running offense in the entire league. His presence forced the Suns to re-construct their game plan; everybody had to make adjustments, but ultimately the move was disruptive enough to push Mike D'Antoni out the door. The run 'n gun master saw the trade as too counter-productive; his third option turned from an athletic swingman into an immobile mass that clogged the lane and slowed the run. Apparently, his master plan was beyond salvation, and it appeared the Suns were too, now abandoned by the perfect coach for their system.

Nobody was more upset about this than Stoudemire, who had used Shaq's presence to avoid more constant double-teams and have without question the most dominant second half of 07-08 of any big man in the L. Steve Nash couldn't have been happy either, losing a friend and mentor in D'Antoni, someone who had a very similar approach to the game and played off him like peanut butter does jelly (or chocolate if you're more of a Reese's fan). Their dismay could've only been heightened when the Suns hired Terry Porter; the same Terry Porter who presided over a highly sub-par tenure in Milwaukee, highlighted by unimaginative offense and unsuccessful attempts to enforce tough D. Yup, this involuntary 180 in basketball philosophy was exactly what Phoenix needed.

So here we are several months into a season that's seen the Suns fall from fringe contender status, play boring basketball and house a roster full of malcontents. Stoudemire's impeding trade will be much to his relief after Porter's system schackled his numbers and forced him to focus on an aspect of the game he's grown to neglect. See the fundamental problem was that Phoenix had spent years playing the type of basketball every player dreams of: pushing the ball, shooting when you're open, lighting up the scoreboard on every opponent and throwing convention out the window. Beyond that they were winning with it; consistently among the league's best teams. Convincing their players to suddenly abandon the approach that always worked for them through a series of horrendous personnel moves was a hard sell, and ultimately what killed this team. It'll be sad to see this team fall apart (not that it hasn't already, but in the final sense), watching Amar'e finish someone else's lobs or Nash feeding dishes to Stoudemire's less-athletic replacement. It's even sadder thinking of what could've been, and knowing how it all went down.

Close Encounters of the Rodman Kind

I always knew Dennis Rodman was a little off his rocker. I compiled a list called the Dirty Dozen: the NBA's 12 Most Insane Players on a previous blog last year, ranking him 3rd, which after the events I witnessed last night, was definitely not enough recognition.

I work for a Halifax-based catering company that regularly puts on massive charity dinners at their multi-purpose facility, which are usually headlined by celebrity guests of honor. Over the past couple of months, I've been fortunate enough to catch many great acts on the company dollar; the hilarious Jerry Seinfeld, the inspirational Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, and most recently, the incoherent ramblings of Dennis the Menace.

The event in question was for the Progress Club, a community outreach and support organization that holds an annual sports dinner, attracting upwards of 1,000 people. Among the other celebrity guests last night were NFL and NHL Hall-of-Famers Jim Kelly and Bryan Trottier, Olympic gold medalist Adam Van Koeverden, and of course Rodman, who were escorted prominently to the head table by Las Vegas-style showgirls. Dennis refused to walk with his girl, insisting that she strut several feet in front of him while he staggered behind (giving the first of many indications that he was highly inebriated), not-so-discretely staring at her ass. Having been an NBA fan for years, and well-versed in Rodman's antics, I could've predicted such things, but from the looks on the faces of hundreds of wealthy socialites in the audience, they clearly had no clue what they were in for. In retrospect, neither did I.

As the event carried on, the guests of honor got up one-by-one to address the audience. There were stories of Stanley Cup victories and Olympic triumph, overcoming adversity and seizing the moment; the usual stuff you'd expect from celebrities at a charity dinner. A few jokes were told, a few jabs made at fellow guests; it was light-hearted fun... And then came Hurricane Dennis, a storm which I stood in the eye of, ten feet away from the stage.

Everybody before him had a general tenor to their words, clearly a few things prepared and a message for the audience. Rodman, heavily bent on Sambucca and God knows what else, clearly had no idea what he was embarking upon when he drew the largest applause of the evening as he was introduced. When the raucous noise finally came to a halt, leaving a massive room in complete silence, some drunk dude in the audience yells out "I loved you in Double Team!". Whoever this guy is, he's clearly the early favorite for Man of the Year.

The Worm's speech began with an unceremonious bashing of the event's host (...and this was after a woman loudly asked him if he was "available later on"). TSN analyst Rod Black had begun the evening with an admittedly kinda corny cheering activity to amp up the crowd. "That was total bullshit", Rodman said laughing, which was followed with "...Nah, nah, I'm just playin' man, whatever your name is". He then turned to Van Koeverden, a kayaker, and referring to him as "the guy with the boat", gave him extended praise for...well..I'm not really sure what. These were the first signs of an incoherence that was about to take full form.

When it became obvious that Dennis was completely out to lunch and had no material to work with, Black intervened and asked him to tell a story, presumably something about playing with Michael Jordan, battling the World's biggest athletes as an undersized post player, or winning any of his five titles. With little hesitation, Rodman launched into a graphic re-creation of the previous night at a Newark airport bar, where a woman had propositioned to let him fuck her while her boyfriend watched. Astounded and disgusted, there were a few laughs from the drunker audience members, while most sat jaws-dropped in the largest collective awkward silence you'll ever not hear...but it kept coming.

Black dug a little deeper: "Well tell us a story about the craziest thing you've ever done on the basketball court"...I immediately envision him saying something like "Well...this one time a referee was giving me lip, so I headbutted him" or "I chased a loose ball out of bounds and tripped over a cameraman many years ago...I decided it was a good idea to kick him in his junk", but he immediately comes out with "When I was with Carmen Electra...I did her on a basketball court...on her back. True Story". Unreal.

As his speech gradually lost its grip on coherent English, Rodman got into a story that began as his tale of upbringing in an empoverished neighborhood ("one thing we didn't have in the ghetto that alllllllll you people here always had growing up was opportunity"), delved into a revival of black/white tension in 60's southern US ("I was like wow...watching these white people coming through the neighborhood...blacks were beating on them, killing them..and today nothing's changed") and led to his legal troubles ("..I was a janitor at the airport...I stole like 50 grand worth of watches"), which allegedly helped him find basketball as salvation.

Before he got his act together and turned pro though, his mother abandoned him, leaving him unemployed and resourceless for a year ("I went to pack my bags...well, I had no fuckin' bags to pack"). He loses his composure and sheds a few tears as he tells the audience about the $20 and "get a job" note she left him as she ran off with her fiance. Even amid the hilarity and ridiculousness of what I've witnessed so far, my face goes stone-cold and my heart rattles. It's impossible not to feel for this man, who despite his immense celebrity has clearly led a troubled and turbulent life, understandably shaken 30 years later by those events. After this meltdown, Rodman loses all focus and breaks out into racially-charged rant, apparently about how he met the family that now runs his company. I'm sure he meant it as a touching tale of how inter-ethnic relations have grown over the years, but the intent is lost in translation as he drops the phrases "big, tall n*****" and "little white kid" no fewer than twenty times, swearing profusely and stammering repeatedly, before Black finally intercedes and cuts him off after 15 minutes of this tirade. He returns to his seat amid hesitant applause and the most "...what the hell did I just witness" grimaces since Michael Richards' last stand-up gig.

I don't really know what to make of it either. As I sit here the next day, still trying to wrap my head around the spectacle, I'm astonished by how deliriously inappropriate Rodman was, even having known he's never done anything PG-rated to speak of. Seeing the state he was in last night saddened me; here was pound-for-pound the greatest rebounder and defender ever to step on a basketball court beyond buzzin' and acting like he was with a few close friends rather than 1300 upper-classmen who weren't on the same wavelength. It was unfortunate, surreal; one of the most ridiculous things I've ever experienced. Being there was really beyond what words can describe, but hopefully I did a decent job.

Fit For The King?

"Today don't know nothin'...about this bullshit/there's more shit/than wantin' to be this King of New York shit" - Nas, Last Real N***a Alive

Last night's NBA schedule brought the Cleveland Cavaliers to Madison Square Garden for a tilt with the Knicks; a game that should be of little consequence in the scheme of the season. Despite this, because of a certain #23's looming free agency, the matchup was covered, even scrutinized like few others. Let's forget for a second that 'Bron had a historic 50-point triple-double, probably the game of the year (As hard as that is to do). This goes back further than that. The rumors about Lebron booking it to New York have been as persistent and annoying as Bruce Bowen's D; not only are they inescapable but built on paranoia, misinformation, and a baseball cap. Building towards the summer of '10, we've heard every possible reason why King James will assume a larger throne in the basketball Mecca when the Knicks surely swipe him away. Here's a few why they (and anybody else) might not:

The Business, Man
James wants to see his name synonymous with Jordan not only in on-court dominance but brand recognition; he sees himself as an industry and may have already reached the upper echelon of personal marketability. Granted, he plays in a small market that might not give the average athlete the exposure he desires. But Lebron can count himself among the League's jersey sales leaders, top All-Star vote-getters and World's most visible athletes. At 24, he's precociously graced the cover of every magazine from Slam to GQ to Time, hosted SNL and the ESPYs, and led his country to Gold in what might've been their most important Olympics ever. All straight outta Cleveland. Lebron should feel little concern about the market he's in because his celebrity transcends where he plays; he'll be a World-class athlete anywhere.

Dollars and Sense
Of coure there's the pure finanaces of the matter. This $1,000,000,000,000 bonus everybody seems to think James will get from Nike if he plays in the Big Apple doesn't exist; he already hawks more apparel for them than anyone not named after a jungle cat and is paid accordingly. So he's got no real monetary incentive to move to another market, and plenty to stay in Cleveland. The Cavs can offer Lebron a six-year contract (vs. five for everyone else), at an increase of 10.5% per year (vs. 8% for everyone else), which translates to $31 million more in his pocket. Rob Babcock could even make the right call here.

Pairing that Ace
The Cavs are currently committed to few players past the summer of '10, and with most of big contracts expiring will have Max dollars to wave in the face of another superstar to play alongside 'Bron. The opportunity to be Lebron's wingman would no doubt entice just about anyone, but in case they have trouble landing their first choice: Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudemire, Yao Ming, Paul Pierce, Manu Ginobili, Joe Johnson, Dirk Nowitzki and Michael Redd are all slated for free agency.

The Roots
Don't forget how the Cavs landed a hometown hero who was born and raised a half-hour outside Cleveland. He might've grew up cheering on the teams that always beat them, but he wants to elad this squad to a title. This is His Team; the one that drafted him, that tailored this lineup to his specifications and tried to meet his lofty standards. He's got family here, friends here, a whole city behind him and no comparably high-profile athletes sharing the spotlight.

The W
Then there's always the simple turth that the Cavs are a lot better than the Knicks. There's that corny old addage If it ain't broke don't fix it, and the Cavs sit atop the East, on cruise control most games. New York has underacheived for the better part of the decade and been mired in turmoil and controversy so thorough that Lebron might be wary of what could transpire if he signs there. He's at the helm of a potential dynasty, a team that's already contending and can get better, which is the best reason why James won't want to lead a rebuilding effort, in New York, or anywhere else.

The Tipping Point

Disappointment's been contagious this year. As the All-Star Break inches closer and the 2008-09 NBA season takes a firmer form, there's plenty of teams that are far from where they envisioned themselves before the season, and losing precious time to regain ground. While some squads are so screwed that major personnel changes and minor miracles are their only hope at redemption, others find themselves still in the mix, with the possibility of salvaging this season. Here's a look at a few teams who are stuck up shit's creek (giving a pass to injury-crippled Utah, the rejuvenated 76ers and the Pistons, who should've simply just kept Chauncey) and where they might want to look for a paddle:

Washington Wizards
The Wiz had dreams of contending in the East this season; dreams that have crashed and burned, leaving injury-plagued Washington lying in the smoldering ashes of league's worst record...inexplicably with the same roster that got them to the 5th seed last spring. While having their best player and starting center relegated to the sideline all season has been a primary cause, the answer might lie there as well. Brendan Haywood's injury has given rise to young stud Andray Blatche, who is still raw but has shown considerable progress since being drafted out of high school. Just 22, he's far from his ceiling and should become more consistent with more experience and maturity. Meanwhile, Gilbert Arenas is indicating he might not suit up at all this year, after just 13 appearances in 07-08. He's still revered as one of the deadliest scorers in the league, but has been the league's highest-paid cheerleader for almost two seasons, and had many heads saying last season that the Wizards were playing better without him. Dealing their walking wounded might be a good way for Washington to shake up a rotation that's never gotten them out of the first round; one that badly needs a fresh start.

Toronto Raptors
Another team that once thought they could run with the East's best, the Raptors have been rudely awakened to the reality that they're still soft, shoot too many jumpers, and have a weak killer instinct that belies their name. Needless to say that Jermaine O'Neal's presence on the low block hasn't opened up the court for more wing penetration and Chris Bosh high-post domination like they'd hoped, and now sit further out of the playoff picture than they've been in years. Trading O'Neal might be premature, especially for Shawn Marion (as rumored), a guy who doesn't address the team's immediate needs and will likely walk in July. This season might be a lost cause if Toronto can't toughen up, and the sad reality is that this team, saddled by O'Neal's unappealing contract, is a few moves away from redemption and has a 18 months until Bosh inevitably bounces for greener pastures. They need more post bangers (Andrea Bargnani doesn't fit the bill) and a slashing swingman to attack defenses, but securing those assets in time to convince Bosh to stay might be too much to ask.

Chicago Bulls
This team's lost. Owner Jerry Reinsdorf's "disaster" stamp on the season was a little harsh (considering they're the prime candidates to snatch the 8th seed out East when Michael Redd-less Milwaukee inevitably loses it), but the Bulls aren't headed anywhere significant. They have no post presence on offense, a glut of underachieving forwards and their best scorer can shoot them out of games just as easily as back into them (I won't even start ranting about the presence of Larry Hughes). This core was supposed to take them to the top of the conference last year, and has proved that Scott Skiles wasn't necessarily the problem; they're incompatible and too young. Trade for size and experience, let Rose continue to blossom and condense the talent on a roster with too many mediocre players fighting for minutes.

Houston Rockets
Another year of West Crown ambitions, another year as middle men well below the cusp of elite status. Sure it's been tough for them to stay healthy (it's cliche at this point), but this team needs to trade T-Mac while he's still considered an All-Star calibre talent, which he's looking less and less like every day. I know, I know, wasn't I just waxing about T-Mac ressurrecting his career just last week? Sure, I hope for his sake he does so his career isn't branded a tease like Vince before him...but it's also not very likely. If I'm Houston, I'm working the phones to find a guy who will stay healthy, play within the offense and, if he's a volume shooter, at least break the .400 barrier. If Mac's value hasn't plummeted as low as I'm guessing, maybe even snag a backup center in the deal and give yourself some bodies that may be a downgrade in talent, but a serious upgrade in funtionality.

Phoenix Suns
Terry Porter's hiring was a mistake. He's forced them to play a slower, almost shackled game, especially in contrast to D'Antoni's system. His emphasis on defense has spelled the Suns' minor implosion this season for two main reasons: 1) After several years of playing the most amusing, trigger-happy basketball the league's seen in ages, nobody on Phoenix's roster wants to buy into a defensive grind. Sure Shaq slows them down, they can't run as much, but their offensive sets are reminiscent of Porter's stagnant and inept Milwaukee teams; they're too talented to be this reined in. 2) Stressing D doesn't play to the Suns' skills. Steve Nash? Can't guard a D-league bench warmer. Amar'e Stoudemire? Foul-prone and easily frustrated. Jason Richardson? Twice the scorer he is a defender. Porter's approach evidently hasn't been popular with his players, especially Stoudemire who needs to be appeased or traded. Scuba Steve Kerr will have a much easier time canning a disliked coach than explaining to everyone why he got lowballed for his franchise player. In two summers, Stoudemire will likely be tempted by an offer to play alongside Lebron James or Dwyane Wade (there's several teams with that much cash to throw), so don't give him more reasons to walk.

Los Angeles Clippers
They have several tradeable assets, so the Clippers need to do something drastic, anything to shake things up. No one should be considered untouchable on this roster; they're talented but still are tied for the league's worst record. Like the Bulls, they're a team without a real identity, but with enough talent to make a serious splash at the trade deadline. Their team's been bogged down in a losing culture since their inception, and why they're continuing to struggle so mightily this year is seriously beyond me. Something needs to give though, that something being either Marcus Camby or Chris Kaman, which could fetch a nice return at the deadline and give DeAndre Jordan a chance to get some burn. They need more role players and perimeter defenders as a start, but they won't right the ship for a few years, and this being the Clippers, probably not at all.