Javale Mcgee Knows No Fear

One of the many highlights of League Pass this season has been getting to watch Javale Mcgee on a regular basis. Washington's highly athletic, highly inconsistent starting centre is truly unique. He's versatile; comfortable both posting and facing up far from the basket, where his go-to move is typically an unconscious dribble in the general area of the hoop, followed by a long-jump-style leap into an awkward floater over 3 defenders, while Andray Blatche and Al Thornton stand wide open in disgust. It's absolutely hilarious. (Every now and then, when he's motivated, he turns into a one-man shot-blocking production line, sending anything that comes near the net into the 20th row, but back to the point...)

Last week, the Wiz were being completely waxed by the Kings in a mundane affair that obviously left Mcgee craving more excitement. In the game's waning moments, he found himself on a wide open break, decided to attempt a free-throw line dunk, and missed it as horribly and awkwardly as humanly possible (...and believe me, I know a thing or two about embarrassing missed dunks).

Evidently, the jeers from the crowd, the laughs from his teammates, and the dubious internet stardom (his shank was featured on Yahoo's homepage, among other places) haven't phased him. A few nights later, well...if you haven't seen this already, you really need to just take it in and come up with your own ridiculous adjective for it; the title says it well. This guy might be my new favourite player in the league.

To Sad Endings & New Beginnings...

When news broke earlier this week of a stress fracture in Yao Ming's foot ending his season for the zillionth time, reactions throughout the basketball community were, well, subdued. Although this was obviously a tragic setback for a star who put retirement ahead of more rehab, there was an utter lack of surprise; to some extent, we all knew this was coming. Like Greg Oden before him, we'd all seen Yao succumb to his own body too many times to expect he'd get it together.

Yao was different though, in that he had already established himself as a star in this League, and probably would've been fine if the commies running China's national team had bothered to let him rest for a few weeks during the prime of his career. Yao played in 82, 82 and 80 his first three seasons, and was becoming a dominant talent. But the second Houston's seasons ended, he was shipped back to the homeland for a busy international schedule that often had him arriving late for training camp and certainly betrayed the concept of an "offseason". As the constant pounding took its toll (remember, 350 pounds is a lot to carry around), Yao averaged an anemic 58 games over the next four seasons, before shutting it down all of last year, and now facing a similar fate.

It seems far safer to call Yao's career over, relative to Oden's. He's older, has nothing really to prove, owns his own pro team in China, and has already hinted at this being the end. It's also far more difficult; he was a much better player and a noble, gregarious global ambassador for a league that's clearly looking to grow its international influence. If this is the last we see of him - and all signs point to it being that way - what a shitty (albeit predictable) way for it all to end. Keep your head up Yao, hope that "fried chicken and beer" tastes damn good.

Only a few days of mourning passed before Yao's dilemma was sidetracked by the season's first blockbuster(s), which dramatically overhauled the floundering Orlando Magic. Their first deal shipped Vincent Lamar to Phoenix, along with Mickael Pietrus and Marcin Gortat, in exchange for Jason Richardson, Earl Clark and the ghost of Hedo Turkoglu. As though that weren't enough of a dice roll, the Magic then shipped Rashard Lewis to Washington for Gilbert Arenas, setting a new Guinness record for "shitty NBA contracts traded in a single day".

Phoenix, caught in that awkward no-mans-land between contending and rebuilding, now at least has a more functional team. While they shed two of their 90 small forwards, they gained a legitimate centre and probably the only defensive-minded player on their roster. Gortat will allow Channing Frye and Robin Lopez to spend more time at the 4 (where both of them should be more effective), helping to shore up the league's worst-rebounding team. The jury's still out on whether Vince can provide any positive effect, but I can already envision Steve Nash becoming frustrated with him and freezing him out of the offense. In about two weeks. Ultimately, these Suns, (read:Nash) have made offensive contributors out of anyone they've plugged in, so the versatility they gained should outweigh the firepower they lost.

Washington, meanwhile, made a dubious decision. Trading Gilbert was an obvious move; after last season's handgun mishap and John Wall's drafting, he made (Agent) Zero sense for them. What made even less sense (I know it's mathematically impossible, but work with me here) was for them to take on what's very likely, dollar-for-dollar, the worst contract in the NBA in return. Lewis' monster of a deal comes off the books a year later than Gilbert's, forcing a rebuilding team that's losing money even more than easy games into deeper financial commitment. Although Wall will have a much more freedom now, the team as a whole might've just enslaved themselves.

...Which brings us to Orlando; the centrepiece of these blockbusters and the team with, far and away, the most to lose. After losing 5 of 6 and watching Boston and Miami reel off double-digit win streaks, I've heard this makeover get called everything from a panic move to a calculated gamble. The Magic gained a lot of offensive potency, picking up two bonafide scorers and returning Hedo to a city that clearly has some sort of PED-type effect on his game. Vince and Rashard were both having their worst seasons in recent memory, so getting rid of them wasn't hard, but fitting the new pieces together may be harder than it looks... (disclaimer: I'm of the firm belief that the Magic aren't done dealing yet, but let's proceed under the necessary assumption that they're going to try and win a title with this team)

First of all, this was a very expensive move for the Magic. They shed Lewis and Carter's bloated contracts, but also took on those of Arenas, Turkoglu and (to a lesser extent) Richardson, while burying JJ Redick (35$ mil this past offseason) on the bench. Obviously they're a successful team in a competitive market, but they just raised their risk profile considerably.

Defense also becomes a serious achilles heel for this team. Forget that they have Howard in the middle, the Magic have now lost their only potent wing defenders (Pietrus, and previously Matt Barnes), and given up Gortat; an excellent defender himself, and one of the NBA's best backup big men. Not that Carter or Lewis was a great defender, but all this does is increase the reliance on Howard, with more holes to patch, which will likely lead to more help-D fouls and less time on the court for their franchise player.

Orlando now possesses the weapons to be an offensive nightmare, but leaves serious doubts about its ability to succeed in the physical, halfcourt grind of the playoffs. They made it to the Finals two years ago with Dwight drawing coverage and open 3's raining from all angles, but the competition is far tougher this year. Dwight will have a much harder time dominating Boston's deep frontcourt than he did the Cavs' joke of one, and Miami's Superfriends will be much harder to match up with in an up-tempo shootout.

Orlando looks to be on Phoenix's flipside after this trade; they're certainly more talented, but perhaps less functional. In any event, it looked like a move needed to be made, and the front office certainly can't be blamed for a lack of balls. Regardless of whether this team's done shuffling, it'll be a serious adjustment for Stan Van Jeremy, D12, Jameer, hell the rest of the East's contenders. The Magic seriously shook things up here; it's gonna take a while for it to settle and see just what the payoff is. That being said, there's been an epidemic of complacency around the NBA lately when moves clearly need to be made, so Orlando should be applauded for pulling the trigger and at least rolling the dice before the season slid further.

PED Watch: The Early Most Improved Candidates

Now well into December, we're already rounding the corner of the regular season's first quarter, weird as it seems. "Weird"s also a rather appropriate way to describe the NBA season so far; things are just a bit out of place. I mean sure, the Lakers, Spurs, Magic and Celtics are kicking ass, Greg Oden and Yao Ming are down for the count, the Clippers are underwhelming and every player who isn't a Boston Celtic hates Kevin Garnett, some things never change...

But look at the other side: The almighty Heat, despite having hit their stride since The Return, have kinda sucked so far. The Indiana Pacers, long buried in boredom and awfulness, have been kinda good. A 6'9" white dude who your arthritic grandfather can outjump is owning the rebounding game. Derek Rose can suddenly shoot, Brook Lopez suddenly can't, Darko Milicic suddenly is a legit starting center and the Post-Bosh Raptors (!) actually look like playoff contenders. Hell, the early-season MVP favorite hasn't been the best player on his own team so far, in a race where the names "James" and "Wade" are nowhere to be found for the first time in over a half-decade.

Yep, things are-a-changin' all over the league, as it is with these next few players; the guys who really put in work over the summer and have come out with significantly improved game, the early season favorites for Most Improved Player...


Roy Hibbert - A big part of the Pacers' impressive early start (and subsequent shaking of Least Relevant status) has been Hibbert showing up looking 50 pounds lighter than last spring and displaying a more polished offensive game than ever. His svelte new cut has meant an improved motor without all that weight to carry; he attacks the boards harder, still imposes as a shot blocker, and finishes with greater athleticism. Indiana's resurgence this year has been almost as unlikely as Hibbert's transition from immobile mass to future All-Star.

Eric Gordon -Despite his recent 3-point woes, the all-around maturation of Gordon's game has given the Clippers one of the best young prospects they'll ever eventually lose to free agency. One of the many beneficiaries of the "Team USA" effect(no joke, with the exception of a slightly-injured Kevin Durant, every player from that team has come back much better than last season), Gordon has become a relentless basket-attacker who gets to the line at an alarming rate and defends the wing much better than your typical scoring 2. Unfortuantely for him, the growth he experienced this summer is unlikely to be fostered well while sharing a backcourt with Baron Davis and playing for the f***ing Clippers.

Kevin Love - Nobody's arguing about playing time now. Perhaps sparked by an opening-night benching, Love has been dropping 20/20 more than your local optometrist and pairing with a fellow MIP candidate (see below) to make Minnesota's frontcourt future without Al Jefferson look pretty bright. Another Team USA vet, Love has also displayed an impressive touch from distance, recently icing 43 straight free-throws and tying a franchise mark with 8 consecutive 3's made. His improved scoring, unlikely dominance of the boards, and now unquestioned role in Minny's frountcourt will make him a strong candidate all year.

Michael Beasley -Emerging from his purple haze, Beasley has been re-born in a T-Wolves jersey as a much more potent scorer who plays with more energy on both ends of the floor. His early-season outburst of 25+ games fueled his confidence and earned him the green light as the go-to guy Minnesota thought they'd spend the whole season searching for. While he waits for his defensive attention span and decision-making to catch up with his knack for putting the ball the in the basket, Beasley can operate under the low expectations and long leash of one of the NBA's worst teams, and hopefully not lose his mind again.

Darko Milicic - I mean, the rest of Minnesota's frontcourt's here, why not round out the lineup? Milicic has come out of nowhere this year with several monster offensive performances to complement his league-leading shotblocking. He rebounds with more aggression, is becoming a more confident passer, and scores efficiently when Michael Beasley decides to share the ball. He's still eons away from justifying his immortal draft selection, but after such immense disappointment, its encouraging to see he's finally becoming, well, something.

Russell Westbrook -Team USA stand up! Westbrook has been putting up absolutely gaudy numbers for a Thunder squad that's found itself in an awkward early-season purgatory between last year's 8th seed and this season's immense expectations. While Kevin Durant's been at less than 100%, Westbrook has picked up the slack as a lethal scoring threat, improving his jumper while getting to the hoop against anyone and wetting 90% from the stripe. He's upped his assists, rebounds and steals, while owning the floor in recent overtime Ws at Indiana and New Jersey. Everyone knew Westbrook was good, but if the season ended today he'd likely get more MVP votes than his boy KD.

Dorrell Wright -Wright, foolishly disbanded from the Heat's makeover, landed in Oakland where he found a niche in the Warriors' new slightly-more-defensive scheme with his length and athleticism on the perimeter. Along the way, he proved himself to be a lethal 3-point shooter, which never hurts your stock in Golden State. The result has been increased numbers across the board for Wright, including a double-up in scoring. He may be seeing the floor twice as much, but his game has obviously improved if he could only log 20/game with the shallowest team in the League last year.

Raymond Felton - Mike D'Antoni has significantly augmented the career prospects of yet another point guard. After getting two MVP's for Steve Nash and a guaranteed contract for Chris Duhon, Mike plucked Raymond Felton from the obscurity of the Bobcats and made him a star in the Big Apple. Felton's responded by playmaking at a much more efficient rate and becoming the dangerous scorer that the Bobcats' molasses-paced offense never allowed for, and unlike previous D'Antoni quarterbacks, he's a solid defender, hawking almost 2 balls/game. When the Knicks return to the playoffs in April, they should give him a garnished portion of Eddy Curry's salary.

Tyson Chandler - Everyone and their grandma claimed Chandler had gone the way of forever-linked-classmate Edward Curry after the dud he put up last year. A trade to Dallas and a summer with the best young players in the country did wonders for a re-born Chandler who appears to have gone the way of Hedo Turkoglu circa 2008 instead. Anchoring the best defense the Mavs have ever fielded, he's a feared rebounder and shot-blocker who's proving he can finish without Chris Paul setting him up and earning praise from teammates and media alike for his improved basketball IQ and court awareness.

Jrue Holiday -Surprising nobody, the Sixers are pretty bad this year. A mis-matched bunch of youngsters with very little identity or cohesion are bound for another wayward season. In this instance though, the lack of direction should be blamed on the ship and not the captain, for the guy running the point for the Sixers might be the only thing that's right about them right now. Holiday brings a unique mix of scoring and adept playmaking; he's Lou Williams on ritalin. He plays a controlled game, defends well, and would be getting many more assists on a team that wasn't so shitty on offense. The 76ers have been part of rampant trade talk, in which Holidays has been rumored to be their only untouchable, which can't be very good news for him.

Seriously? Nah, You're Joking...

I know, I couldn't believe it either. Just as one often-mocked draft bust solidified his legacy, another, seemingly bound for eternal damnation, sought to create a new one. The big buzz around the NBA has been punchline/punching bag Darko Milicic showcasing more talent this past week than in seven prior seasons combined. His latest outing of 21/4/2 with 3 blocked shots was preceded by 23/16/5, swatting 6 against the feared Lakers frontcourt (I know you've heard about it 100 times by now, but read that over again a few times, maybe Youtube some Darko Milicic compilations to remind yourself just how bad he is, and really appreciate it).

Seems like Darko - who had previously developed into a respectable rebounder and good shot blocker - has found a way to be something more than a moving screen on offense, being called "unstoppable" by Kevin Durant after a close Thunder victory. After endless awkward trials to adapt Milicic to the NBA game had failed, it seemed he'd never get it together. Two games is relatively little to be excited over, but if Milicic can keep himself anywhere near this lever of production, he might be able to salvage a career that, as recently as last summer, had frustrated him to the point of near-retirement. Not to mention that the same player who began to make Joe Dumars (formerly the smartest man in basketball) look like an idiot, might make David Kahn (a mis-cue on repeat) actually look kind of smart. Funny how shit works out sometimes.

Elsewhere, the Toronto Raptors made the first big splash in the trade market, shipping Jarrett Jack, Tracy Morgan and Joe Dirt to the Hornets for Jarryd Bayless, and some guy named Predrag, who hasn't done anything noteworthy lately, but apparently this guy was fourth in MVP voting a few years ago so he must be okay, right?

In all seriousness, Stojakovic fits the Raptors mold for a ton of reasons:
a) he's white and European
b) he's allegedly a good shooter
c) he can't create his own shot or defend a third-grade child
but most importantly...
d) his contract is worth more than the BP cleanup and expires this year, giving a team with way too much long-term capital to have won two games a lot of flex room.

The Raps are an absolute mess (speaking of the BP disaster...) but at least Brian Colangelo's begun to reason that re-building comes through change and sustainability, not greedily throwing money at your problems like he (...and BP...) did this summer. After burying the Raptors' slowly-fossilizing remains in the bloated contracts of Andrea Bargnani, Jose Calderon, (indirectly, now) Hedo Turkoglu and Amir Johnson, he's finally starting to dig them out of their hole.

See you guys in a few days. Please, for your safety, remember to stay of out Blake Griffin's way.

Requiem for a Career

"Microfracture surgery" and "Greg Oden" are probably the most devastating injury-related terms in pro basketball right now, so when they're mentioned in the same sentence, you know not to take the situation lately. News broke last night of yet another devastation, the latest in a list longer than Shawn Kemp's baby mamas, one that will keep the former no. 1 pick in suits for the rest of the season.

The easy assumption is that his career is over. There have been too many long-term issues with this dude's entire anatomy for any GM off the Great Lakes to want to invest in him; forget the wear-and-tear of an NBA season, Oden's body has regularly succumbed to rehab. In terms of on-court development, he's essentially still in his first year; he's not getting any younger and, at this rate, will be ordering off the senior's menu at IHOP by the time he fulfills his rookie contract. With every passing season, and every awkward, dubious ailment, there was always that slight hope that "maybe, just maybe, Greg Oden can stay on the court this year", but any optimism the Blazers and their fans could've held onto must be dead now. We hardly knew ya.

Whether Oden's ever healthy enough to return to pro basketball, this latest setback will likely cement a historical draft day faux-pas; one that reeks eerily of Portland's immortal fuck-up in '84. Although Oden was touted as a revolutionary defensive presence, nobody needs Captain Hindsight to point out the meteoric rise of the neglected Kevin Durant, only adding insult to injury, after injury, after injury. There's no telling where the Blazers would be had they gone the other route on that fateful day (clearly much closer to a title), but at least they walk away from this mess finally knowing damn well never, under any circumstances, to draft a center with their top pick.

While we're witnessing history here, we're also caught up in a young man's tragedy. I'll be the first to admit that I've had many laughs at Greg's expense, from his bumbling injuries, to him awkwardly and unintentionally ending Dikembe Mutombo's career, to him getting his penis shown to way more people than was ever hoped. But you can't help but feel terrible for this guy right now. His entire life, he was touted as basketball's next big thing; a can't-miss prospect bound for NBA stardom, success and (obviously) millions upon millions of dollars...And now that's all in serious jeopardy. Even if Oden's able to bounce back and have a productive career (which seems very f***ing unlikely at this point), it certainly won't be like it was supposed to.

Never mind Lebron, Greg Oden's really the one asking himself "What should I do?". Hell if I know; he's in an unbearable predicament none of us should envy. All the best going forward, Mr. Oden.

The Appearance of Legitimacy

The 2010-11 NBA season, barely a fortnight old, will be a climactic paradox and carefully manipulated optical illusion. Most fans are going to be distracted by the trials of the Heat, the tribulations of the T-Wolves, the Lakers' quest for another 3-peat, and countless other compelling stories that are unfolding. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, a league that couldn't appear to have much more going for it is having, at least by David Stern's standards, a meltdown.


The last decade was far from kind to the NBA; two waves of economic crisis, rampant player misbehavior, dwindling ratings and attendance, Donaghygate, that whole dress code mishap...Things were another Damon Stoudamire drug arrest away from coming completely undone. The Sternbot, as usual, did a respectable job of protecting his product, but the owners got greedy and began overpaying mediocre-awful players of all shapes and sizes. While those ratings fell and attendance died along with the average American's disposable income, revenues hardly justified the reckless spending, but didn't stop the madness.


Jerome James. Raef Lafrentz. Brian Cardinal. Wally Szczerjiashnfk. Adonal Foyle. The Kandi Man. Beno Udrih. Erick Dampier. Eddy Curry. Rashard Lewis. Charlie Villanueva. Darko Milicic. Amir Johnson. Most recently, Mike Conley. A combination of temporary on-court brilliance and temporary front-office stupidity led to a lot of teams in small markets leaking money like blood in your typical Dexter episode...and the league's apparently losing millions, headed for a lockout, and talking about contraction. Things are about to get ugly.


The current CBA on its deathbed, its wake will be marred by bickering and litigation between players who are understandably pissed about not benefiting from this idiocy, and owners who can't afford to keep being, well, idiots. This idiocy might cost us the first few months of next season, maybe the whole thing, hell it might be even longer if the same type of logic that dug this whole is used to bury it. In the meantime, keeping this impending mess buried beneath the headlines will be easy for Stern and Co: there should be no shortage of them. But the NBA might have done too much damage to get itself there; we've got ourselves a League that's very top-heavy on talent, leaving many teams struggling to stay above water; rising salaries working against a shrinking cap. The front office is going to have to work harder than a Scott Skiles team on a 3-game losing skid to stay out of the danger zone yet again, and after the run they've just had, can ill afford another blow...



...But in the meantime...


- The New Orleans Hornets (!) have slugged it out as the last remaining unbeaten team, against the better judgement of just about everyone. Defensive cohesiveness and a balanced scoring attack have triggered an impressive run that can hardly be blamed on a soft schedule and has stolen all the wind from those Chris Paul trade rumors. Yes, it's still early, but the Hornets have stood out among a slew of impressive starts. I know I was far from alone in pegging them as a lottery team; they're making plenty of fans second-guess themselves with every passing game.


- Minnesota might finally be forced to give the best player starter's minutes after Kevin Love erupted for the hallowed 30/30 against the Knicks; something nobody's done since Moses Malone 28 years ago. Yeah, Shaq, Hakeem, The Admiral, Patrick Chewing, The Mailman, Barkley, Timmy D, KG, none of them ever did that. It's a pretty loud statement coming from a guy who's been averaging 28 minutes/game so far this year, but given the stubbornness and lack of clarity shown by the T-Wolves' suits the past few years, there's no telling if the message was heard...




- Alarms are continuing to sound in Miami after they blew a 20-point lead to the Jazz and needed an LBJ Takeover to even make things close with Boston for the second time in as many weeks. While there are obviously cohesion issues with a team assembled largely form players who've never shared uniforms, more glaring problems are showing. Lebron's complaining about minutes (and then explaining himself...seems like he's had to do that a lot lately...at least he got a Person of the Year nod from Time out of it). Dwyane looks like he misses having the ball so much and goes 1 0n 5 with little hesitation. Bosh is being regularly manhandled on a team even shorter on size than the Raptors, and he'll be the only player not to regularly benefit from Wade/James double-teams. Time (and a healthy Mike Miller) will only help, but talk of 70 wins has suddenly ceded and been replaced with more question marks than Pat Riley had ever hoped to answer to.



- Things are looking relatively better in the city LBJ deserted, where the "desolate" Cavs have been playing close to .500 ball against tough-ish opposition and actually spent a couple days ahead of the Heat in the East standings. Cleveland has a reasonably talented team (at least when you put them up against the rest of the Right Coast's bottom feeders), and now that they're not being coached by a McDonalds mascot's lost brother, are continuing their tough defending while moving the ball more effectively than they're used to and taking advantage of their many shooters. Feel-good stories are corny as hell, but this is a team that had every reason and excuse to fall apart; and one we should all be rooting for.



- A quick moment to truly appreciate what the Indiana Pacers did to the Denver Nuggets the other night: A merciless and ridiculous 54-point quarter, in which the Pacers were an ill-advised Josh McRoberts 3 attempt from going 20-20 from the field. Yup. The f***ing Pacers. The Nuggets have been known to indulge in the occasional defensive lapse, but that'd be too absurd to believe if I hadn't seen it (what up League Pass!). Of course, if only logically follows that two nights later, those same Nuggets handed the defending champs their first loss of the season.



I'm out for now; check back later this week for PED Watch, as Banter takes a look at the season's early Most Improved Player candidates.

One Week In...

Well, it's happened; we're officially back into the regular season grind. After about a week's worth of action, our appetites for somewhat meaningful basketball have been whet, but there's plenty of the ususal early-season uncertainty lingering; things have yet to really take form. While the dust settles and we wait for everything to fall into place, here's a few thoughts from Opening Week:

- When the Wolves traded Al Jefferson to the Jazz in what had to be salary dump (though presuming to know what exactly motivates David Kahn's decisions is foolish and dangerous), the assumption was that versatile pivotman Kevin Love would become the team's new focal point. Naturally, a few eyebrows were raised when Love spent the latter of their opening-night L to the Kings on the bench, his minutes beasted by journeyman Anthony Tolliver. Immediate rumors of dissent began cirulating, stemming from Love's open doubts about his team's long-term plans and an alleged beef with head coach Kurt Rambis. This pattern continuing will lead nowhere constructive, but then again, nothing Kahn's done yet has either. Now that the Knicks are a somehwat-legitimate franchise again, it's comforting to know that at least one billionaire out there's willing to place his valued asset in the hands of a confused dunce for our amusement.

- Rajon Rondo continues to defy adjectives, racking up a ridiculous 24 assists to help the Celts avoid a second humbling loss to a much worse team. Rondo's brilliance - especially in the playoffs - has been almost redundant, but there's still a seeming reluctance to include him in the discussion of Paul, Williams, and (in some circles) even Nash as the NBA's best point guard. Put that talk to rest. I know, me, you and half the European Rider Cup team have nicer jumpers, but Rondo is a transcendant game-changer in every other aspect. As Boston gradually slides into senility, this'll be more and more his team, and that doesn't seem like a bad thing at all.

- The Heat's opening night L to the Celtics stirred up painful memories of last spring's dismantling of the Cleveland Cavaliers: an awkward mess of laughable offensive chemistry that eventually drove Lebron James into "F*** This, I'm Taking Over" mode, only to fall juuust short of a win. Obviously there was going to be a few jitters on opening night, on the road, against the menacing D of a team that arguably was a Kendrick Perkins injury away from kicking off the season with their own ring ceremony...But Miami looked just fucking awful. Alarms went off immediately, but the Superfriends responded with complete dustings of (expectedly) New Jersey and (impressively) Orlando. James, Wade and Bosh are (understandably) still getting used to their new surroundings, and although this was (obviously) going to be a process, Miami (clearly) got sent a message on opening night.

- Nobody's really surprised that the Lakers are still 3-0, but anyone who nabbed the Hawks, Blazers and Hornets as the squads joining them among the last unbeatean deserves a beer or five. Portland took advantage of a sorta weak week (although they looked very nice in an opening-night road win against the unorthodox Suns), while N.O. grinded out three impressive wins over playoff teams that were all favored. The Big Easy was supposed to be a Big Question Mark this year with Chris Paul's ominous trade desire, but a healthy CP3 and a roster of similar talent almost won the West a couple years ago. Obviously it can't be assumed they'll keep this up all year, but if they do, it'll be hard to picture him going anywhere.

- From an allegedly unhappy superstar to one who's just plain blatantly unhappy, Carmelo Anthony has become more vocal about his need to find a basketball court closer to sea level. An obvious inconvenience to a team whose Western Powerhouse status was already in danger, but how exactly this will play out is anybody's guess. Everyone from 'Melo to Spike Lee and countless internet conspiracy theorists see blue and orange in Anthony's future, but the odds are stacked against the Knicks landing him. See, the simple truth is that Carmelo Anthony is incredibly unlikely to be a free agent next summer, so he's unlikely to have an ultimate say in the matter. There's a 0% chance the Nuggets are going to let him walk, and only a minutely higher chance that a team will part with the proper talent to land a Top-10 player only to lose him in a couple months. 'Melo's going to be dealt to a team he's happy with and will commit to, but New York simply doesn't have the pieces (outside of Amar'e of course) to make much of an offer. Unless Denver's front office feels desperate, the market for a superstar gets Sham-Wowed, or the conspiracy theorists are all right, bet against the Knicks. Again.

- And finally, this week delivered the shocking revelation that, after months of relentless demonization, Lebron James would've handled The Decision differently. Really. No Shit. Because it went so smoothly, and everybody really agreed with how things played out. James said what we all wanted to hear, but after hating Lebron became a popular fad and the race card was played so stupidly, this admission seems kinda trite and results-oriented. It's the season now Lebron, let this be the end of the drama and let your play do the talking; it's what we'd all rather hear.

Here We Go Again...

I fucking hate winter.

This isn't some kind of casual "this moron's driving ten under the limit!" or "that emo couple over in the corner of the library needs to lay off the heavy petting" half-hearted discontent, but unrelenting despising. The miserable bite of the cold. The mounds of emission-stained snow. The nasal congestion that always ensues. Exams. Term papers. Christmas carolers.....Ugh. It's nature's version of The English Patient; long, confusing and depressing. Half of me doesn't blame Bosh and Lebron for signing with the Heat if only to escape the chilly abyss.

Of course, as with most things in life, there's an upside to this shitty turn of events; when the weather falls off, it's a sure sign that the NBA season's not far away. Sure enough, in just under 48 hours the 2010-11 season will tip off, giving fans plenty of reasons to get excited:

10. The End of Baseball

Seriously. What a waste of time. A pointlessly long 160-game season, consisting of 98% stationary "athletes" who treat HGH like it's a column in their box score. Any "sport" in which a man in David Wells' physical condition can be an elite performer should be broadcast exclusively on ESPN3. Not a single one of us should be sad to see it go...And even if you are, don't worry, it's not like "Spring Training" doesn't start in f***ing February or anything.

9. Miami Brings the Heat

Some of us will love them, a lot of us will hate them, but all of us are going to have our eyes glued on South Beach this season. Like it or not, the Superfriends are gonna be the talk of the NBA. They're gonna hog beat writers, tabloids and highlight reels like Ben Gordon with the rock in the 4th quarter, but their situation will be compelling regardless of how it plays out. There's not much to be said about them that hasn't been a million times by any basketball fan, so let's just enjoy the show.

8. Being David Kahn

I have a very tough time figuring out how this guy manages to keep a straight face when he appears in public. I think it must be incredibly difficult to try and rationalize (to a large audience) your extended praise of - and financial commitment to - Darko Milicic, your unconstructive point guard hoarding or explaining your apparent side gig as Michael Beasley's drug counsellor, without at least smirking. Even deeper, I'm astonished that a look of unmistakable "...dude...they actually still haven't fired me!" disbelief isn't constantly plastered on his mug. As confounding as this is for me, after the summer saw him take on more dead weight and trade his best player for a pair of New Balances, the biggest mystery is going to be figuring out just what exactly Kahn's trying to do with his franchise.

7. Redemption Songs

Comebacks are always an essential part of a good season; guys who overcome any of many hurdles to get their once-derailed careers back on track. There's no shortage of potential this year, beginning with the well-chronicled woes of one Yao Ming. The Rockets center will be on the shortest of leashes as he delicately tries not to shatter the glass slippers that support his 7'6'' frame for the 328th, and potentially final time. Speaking of short leashes, Gilbert Arenas is back, ironically now at shooting guard, hoping to make it through an NBA season for the first time in five years. Hedo Turkoglu finds himself in an ideal system for his game after a season of utter embarassment in Toronto, and Blake Griffin will finally get a chance to suit up and bring some hope to LA's other team. Andrew Bogut aims to shake off a horrific arm injury, while Michael Redd tries to salvage his career, both would be key to Milwaukee's sudden rebirth...And then there's Greg Oden. Portland's wayward big man has averaged a whopping 20 games over his first 3 seasons, while his one-time draft rival is the trendy MVP favorite. Any of these stories having a happy ending would be an inspring touch to the season, but Oden's has to be the longshot.

6. Thunderstruck

Seats on the Oklahoma City bandwagon have reportedly been breaking sales records at Ticketmaster; everyone from analysts to casual fans seem to be rooting for the ahead-of-their-time Thunder, who appear primed to seize control of a homecourt seed out West. Seriously. The team that was sweeping up the heavy dust in the West basement 18 months ago grew up some fast. With Durant and Westbrook fresh off the most constructive basketball experience of their lives, this team reeks of upside and has a loud cheering section. OKC has quickly evolved from transplanted mess to media sweetheart, and just might become one of the NBA's best teams.

5. More Ron Artest

With every NBA season comes the renewed promise of more quality time with Ron Ron, and the complete lack of limits on the zany shit he might do. After he's done auctioning off his championship ring, there's no telling how Artest will behave as he grows accustomed to life On Top. Maybe he'll compensate with a crown during pregame. Hell, maybe he'll build a palace with his bare hands in the Staples Center parking lot and throw Hennessy parties at halftime. That's the thing with Ron though, he's the biggest box of chocolates Forrest Gump's mom ever bought, there's no telling what we're in store for, but bet on it being completely hilarious.

4. The Return of Court Surfing

Canadian television is horribly neglectful of the NBA, whose season unfortunately syncs perfectly with that of the omnipotent NHL. While hockey dominates most of the sports stations, quality NBA broadcasts are hard to come by. Not only are the habitually awful Raptors playing in over half the games, but the on-air personalities are bland, annoying, obviously Canadian. Breaking the mold cast by Rod Black and Jack Armstrong is the off-center hilarity of Sid Sixseiro and Tim Micallef, who host this weekly basketball ChatRoulette, hopping over to a new game when the current one gets boring. Sid and Tim layer the action with irreverent banter and goofy jokes, topping things off with Court Cuts, the greatest 3 minutes of the week.

3. Like Kobe

I hate going there with the Jordan comparisons, but Kobe Bryant's probably as close as we've seen to His Airness, and with a hand's worth of rings and a dynasty in the making, Bryant is approaching that Rare Air of finally living up to these lofty parallels. But at this point, can't we stop measuring him against the Greatest and just appreciate him as one of the best? We're going to be witnessing history; a crucial chapter in the epic tale of a once-in-a-generation player who always appeared to be jumping at a bar above his own lofty heights. As Kobe builds his impressive legacy, let's not call him Like Mike; let him be Kobe. The least he can ask for at this point in a legendary career is a name for himself.

2. ...Ever Heard of a Lockout?

Let us also not forget that this might be the last full season we get for a while. The players and owners appear to be miles apart on a new CBA, and a lockout of at least a few months is apparently inevitable. So let us all take moment to appreciate what we have, let us not take it for granted. I know it sounds corny, but believe me, next winter when you're stuck watching hockey and curling, seeing more of David Stern than Kobe, Lebron and Durant combined, you'll remember.

1. Behold, League Pass

And on a personal note, the roommates and I decided to splurge on a sports package, which includes my golden ticket to uninhibited NBA coverage.A ny game I want, any time I want. I'm literally shaking as I type this just thinking about it, I'm more excited than I've been since my parents took me to Disney World. On premonition alone, I'd urge any NBA fan to invest, especially Canadians who can save themselves from another season of ballet basketball and Leo Rautins. Or just roll by the crib and see how great it is; I'll be here all winter.

Sticks and Stones Break Bones...Apparently So Do Suitcases

It's that time of year again; the leaves are falling, baseball's almost over (thank God) and Carlos Boozer's injured, yes the NBA season's just around the corner. It's shaping up to be a compelling season, with many stories surrounding a few great teams and the many who aspire to run with them someday. As always in October, there's plenty abuzz in the league, but before I get on with things, a salute is due to New York streetball legend John Strickland, who passed away in his sleep this week at just 38. Most recently an on-court and front-office player form my hometown Halifax Rainmen, his influence ran much deeper: (from the New York Post)

Strickland’s reach goes so far that even Miami Heat star Lebron James mourned his passing on his Twitter account saying: “R.I.P to homie Strick.”Finish Your Breakfast”. Roc Boyz in the building.” Strickland was mentioned in Jay-Z’s hit song Public Service Announcement in the line: “No one can do it better. I check cheddar like a food inspector. My homey Strick told me, ‘Dude, finish your breakfast.’... As a low-post wizard and a superb passer, he once averaged more than 40 points per game at Nike Pro City, considered the circuit’s primer league. Strickland became the first person to win a title there as a player and a coach when he led Gold’s Gym to the championship this summer.

Obviously a huge blow to the basketball community; I'd honestly heard that line hundreds of times, ignorant to it being about the same guy helping hold down my city's only link to pro hoops. Rest in peace Strick, all the best to his family and the Rainmen.

Back in the NBA, the Carmelo Anthony trade rumors that dominated the past couple of weeks have dissipated. After Melo showed up training camp denying any interest in a trade and saying he was perfectly happy, things curiously faded between the Nuggets and the indiscriminate list of teams they had been openly talking to. Based on the reported offers and the complexity of most deals, it sounds like the Nuggets are learning the hard way what Phoenix did every year for the last 3: It's hard to get legit return on a superstar. Denver's going to have to make a rather shitty decision pretty soon: (discounting the .006% chance Carmelo isn't completely full of shit and all these trade rumors are unfounded) either get lowballed for their franchise player or linger on with this imposition looming.

Carlos Boozer and Dwyane Wade have surprised few and vexed many injuring themselves already; Boozer's hand the apparent victim of a dreadedly sinister.....path-blocking suitcase. For some reason, most of the media attention has shone on Boozer and his repeated bouts with the chilling list, but Wade's spotty bill of health seems like a much more pressing matter for the Heat; the plan behind having him exert himself less doesn't seem to be producing the right outcomes. Miami's likely going to bring him back slowly and lose ground in what's sure to be an adjustment process; an injury was bound to happen but one this early, before they've developed any kind of momentum, is critical. Boozer's baggage is clearly a setback for the Bulls, but not only are the stakes not as high for them, plugging 'Los into their offensive scheme in a few weeks will be far easier than orchestrating the co-existence of the two most potent and ball-dominant scorer/distributers in the NBA.

The preseason tipped off with the usual Euroleague cross-promotion, only with their champs (FC Barcelona) knocking off the reigning Lakers. There have been alarms raised by pundits who see this as a cause for concern in LA, but c'mon really? This is the preseason, the rust is getting knocked off (along with a few spare players) and bench mobs are running wild. This isn't a tangible gauge of how teams will play, hell the Raptors are scoring blowout wins. Not only is international basketball getting better by leaps and bounds (like you didn't know), but most NBA teams, let alone the one with maybe the safest bet on playing 'til June, don't give a fuck a right now. Let's not make this into more than it is.

The NBA's annual GM Survey dropped last week, and apparently the high minds disagree with my title prediction, overwhelmingly picking the Lakers to 3-peat. Can't say I mind it. They'll be very, very tough, being not only extremely talented, but having poise on Boston, experience on Miami, and everything on just about everyone out West. I stand by my selection, but regardless of who comes out on top I feel like this is going to be a very competitive Finals; one to rival last year's, which is the only prediction I really care about getting right.

...And in unrelated news, the downward spiral of Steve Francis continues: the former All-Star, whose career arc took a curiously steep dip in the middle of his prime, was arrested yesterday at LAX for public intoxication. An altercation at a ticket counter led to police being called, and Francis posting $10 G's bail after the cuffs were slapped on, he was "intoxicated, unable to care for himself, and combative toward police". Nice to see you're enjoying retirement, Steve.

Call Rasheed Wallace, It's Prediction Time

Training camps opened up league-wide a couple days ago, ringing in the beginnings of a new NBA season. Every basketball addict who spends the summer months struggling with few places to turn for a fix (there were even dry spots in this summer, which even more people were waiting on than Detox) savors this time of year; another eight months of the best hoops on the planet, and with a lockout on the horizon, maybe the last full season we'll get for a while.

With the preseason tipping off next week, this seemed like an ideal time to write up the Official Basketball Banter 2010-11 Preseason Predictions, my hopefully accurate insights about who's going to define the upcoming season. Before I begin, a quick confession: I think predictions are kinda stupid. As Tracy McGrady and Rasheed Wallace before us have proven, they're bold and falliable presumptions that we can see into the future and things will play out to our expectations...But man it's fun when you're right. Here goes nothing...

Rookie of the Year: John Wall, Washington Wizards

This is gonna be really tough. Both Wall and the belated Blake Griffin figure to be immediate impact players for teams that are supposed to be much better than last year. Griffin will surely bring solid rebounding and scoring help to a team that could use both, Wall's cieling is tremendous and his momentum much greater, having not just sat out an entire year. His dynamic with Gilbert will be fun to watch, but Arenas himself is coming off another season in suits, one that may have finally humbled one of the league's brashest personalities. If he cedes control to Wall's superior playmaking, it won't surprise me much, and might line the rookie up for this award and (!) maybe even a playoff spot in the suddenly wide-open bottom of the East bracket.

The Contenders: Blake Griffin, Demarcus Cousins, Evan Turner

Defensive Player of the Year: Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

This is kinda obvious. Howard's a safe bet to lead the League in rebounds and blocks, which would make it very hard to argue against him come April. You know what to expect from D12, and although his numbers dipped slightly last year (party due to teams becoming increasingly wary of his presence), he'll be the most dominant post defender in the NBA this year, and by far the most automatic award prediction.

The Contenders: Josh Smith, Rajon Rondo, Andrew Bogut

Coach of the Year: Erik Spoelstra, Miami Heat

Trying to predict this award's a bit of a crapshoot; winning it involves improving a battling through injury and other roster adjustments, and generally getting more out of your players than was expected. Although said expectations are tremendous in Miami this year, Spoelstra seems like a good coach who's respected by his players and has a team talented enough to spark talk of a 72 win season. The NBA brass didn't shy away from giving Mike F***ing Brown the COY when the Cavs won 67 games, so if Miami dominates the regular season and doesn't get complacent, and Spoelstra manages three superstars well amid more media sctrutiny than any team before, it'll be tough to deny him.

The Contenders: Scott Brooks, Scott Skiles, Jerry Sloan

Most Improved Player: JJ Hickson, Cleveland Cavaliers

Again, a tough one, simply because the guy who won it usually wasn't supposed to. "Improvement" often gets quantified by statisical margins when voters get down to it, and Hickson's an athletic beast who will have tons of minutes for the rebuilding Cavs after he destroyed Summer League and they lost their two centers (not to mention the biggest 3 in the league). With all the opportunity he'll have, it's hard not to see him becoming much more of a force by default; if his game's even a slight bit nicer than last year, it might be enough to lock this up for him.

The Contenders: Eric Gordon, Anthony Randolph, Goran Dragic

6th Man of the Year: Goran Dragic, Phoenix Suns

With Leandro Barbosa gone in Phoenix, Dragic becomes the de-facto backup in the rotation, who will see an increased presence as Father Time slowly creeps up on Steve Nash. Dragic likely won't start if the Suns are healthy, but he'll bring witty playmaking and dangerous scoring off the bench. Just ask the Spurs. He'll get plenty more time to shine, but with Nashty still playing at an MVP level, probably not enough to rule him out for this award.

The Contenders: Carl Landry (if he doesn't end up starting), Corey Maggette, Jamal Crawford

MVP: Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder

The fate of the MVP award this year might hinge on Miami doing something historic. If the Heat win 70+ games, then Lebron or Wade is clearly going to be the MVP. In any other situation, their great seasons are likely to have a counter-productive effect on each other's chances, much like Shaq and Kobe in LA. Meanwhile, Durant is the poised leader of an improving team, fresh off a runner-up in last year's voting and a dominant romp at the Worlds this summer. The Thunder are sure to improve as they mature and under a player whose leadership has been highly touted, they will become a true force; an MVP-caliber team for a guy who's already got those letters written all over him.

The Contenders: Lebron James/Dwyane Wade, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard

East All-Stars: G - Dwyane Wade, G - Derrick Rose, F - Lebron James, F - Chris Bosh, C- Dwight Howard, Bench: Joe Johnson, Rajon Rondo, Paul Pierce, Gerald Wallace, Amare Stoudemire, Andrew Bogut, Carlos Boozer

West All-Stars: G - Chris Paul, G - Kobe Bryant, F - Kevin Durant, F - Dirk Nowitzki, C - Chris Kaman, Bench: Steve Nash, Deron Williams, Tim Duncan, Rudy Gay, Al Jefferson, Brandon Roy, Russell Westbrook

East Bracket

1. Miami Heat - Easy choice here. Their offseason remodeling was the most impressive makeover since She's All That. Everyone and their grandma has them atop the East.

2. Boston Celtics - They got older, but also deeper; there won't be as much of a strain on their frontcourt's hobbled bodies. Should win 50+ easily if they stay healthy.

3. Orlando Magic - A few questions surround them now after Vince and Rashard regressed so much last year and Dwight failed to become a lethal offensive presence. Still very dangerous, but not the team that made the Finals two years ago.

4. Chicago Bulls - Landing Boozer and Korver helped ease the burn of missing out on the big fish in the Free Agent pool. They'll be much improved with the new faces, the continued growth of Rose and Noah, and not having their coach and GM brawling in the locker room.

5. Atlanta Hawks - You have to wonder how much better this team can get, or if they'll be as hungry now that JJ's Paid in Full and they know they have no chance of winning the East.

6. Milwaukee Bucks - Regardless of Michael Redd's health, this team is well-rounded and young enough that they could still surprise a few people with their developments. Fear the Deer.

7. New York Knicks - They're much more suited to D'Antoni's high-scoring antics with Felton and Stoudemire joining Gallinari, and much deeper than last year. They were dreaming of what Miami got, but after what they put themselves through to get there, any step forward is big.

8. Washington Wizards - Forget the abysmal season they had last year. They've got Arenas back, will have John Wall running the point, a healthy Josh Howard and the continued beasting of Andray Blatche. They have several young guys with lots of potential, and a chance to make this re-building thing pretty quick and painless.

West Bracket

1. Los Angeles Lakers - Last year they were the best team in the West by a large margin with both their bigs missing long stretches. Then they got deeper. Why bet against them now?

2. Dallas Mavericks - Adding Chandler to a full season of Butler and Haywood might make this the best team Cuban's thrown together, certainly the toughest defensively. Chances are it won't be enough for that title though...

3. Oklahoma City Thunder - As Durant continues to torment Seattle basketball fans, this team will be served much more notice this year, but also might have the highest cieling of any squad in the NBA.

4. San Antonio Spurs - The Spurs were much unhealthier last year than they've ever been (funny how that comes with age) but with Parker and Ginobili allegedly back at 100%, they stand a good shot at homecourt.

5. Utah Jazz - Losing Boozer stings, but Jefferson's a proven scorer who can hopefully develop some defensive intensity to endear Jerry Sloan. They covered themselves pretty well.

6. Houston Rockets - Things kinda hinge on the health of their two star players, but if Kevin Martin and Yao Ming can stay on the court, they'll bring the postseason with them.

7. Portland Trailblazers - I've kinda given up on bloating this team's preseason hopes on the hope that Greg Oden can redeem himself. They've lost both their backup points, Travis Outlaw, and a lot of faith in their big man's long-term durability.

8. Memhpis Grizzlies - This is my gamble. History and logic both would suggest that something will go horribly wrong in Graceland this season, but they've certainly got the talent to get here.

East Finals: Heat over Celtics

West Finals: Lakers over Thunder

NBA Finals: Heat over Lakers. I don't wanna see this happen, but I can't help but think it will. A lot of people seem to underestimate the devastation that Dwyane Wade and Lebron James will cause on the same team. Throw Chris Bosh in the mix, add a bunch of veterans who wants titles and know their roles, this team has size, skill and experience in spades. They're gonna put on one hell of a show, one that even us who are rooting against them will have to appreciate.