Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Free Agency Power Rankings


So a couple weeks ago, all hell broke loose in the NBA, as the annual bonanza known as Free Agency kicked off and stuffed a massive amount of landscape-shifting into a several-day window.

In a dizzying flurry of player movement and dollar signs, franchises hit homes runs, stayed the course, confounded us, and whiffed miserably. With salaries bloating under the impeding TV cash influx, money was being spewed away like never before, but with unprecedented cap room and a very "Contend or Bust" mentality about NBA front offices, there would be plenty of risk-taking by someone either way.

What matters is how calculated those risks are, and how likely they are to improve a team. Some front offices are taking active steps, while others seem to just be spending money for the fuck of it.

The implications of the past few wekks are heavy for both franchises and players, and are scattered everywhere from dreams-come-true, to waking nightmares. Though the full stories won't play out for some time, here's a look at who's winning right now; the Free Agency Power Rankings:

Wherever Last Is. Portland Trailblazers/Damian Lillard
Shit just got real in RIP City. Six months ago, this team had an outside chance at the NBA title. Then in a single week, they lost three starters, including their best player, for nothing. Trading Nic Batum for Gerald Henderson and Noah Vonleh was a wise preemptive move that freed up money and gave them a potential prospect, but Vonleh's a long way off, and didn't show much as a rookie.

The bottom line's a devastating blow to the Blazers, to Portland, and to Lillard, who must be feeling like a bit of a sucka right now, entering his prime while locked into a difficult rebuilding project. For any star, let alone one as competitive as Dame Dash, being completely deserted like this is a rare and deflating predicament in the NBA.

340. Sacramento Kings
There's a scene in The Dark Knight where Alfred tries to allegorically decipher the Joker's addiction to senseless chaos. He surmises that some evil has no desire for personal gain; it's twisted enough to "watch the World burn" and be content.

Of course, this is in reference to a deranged comic book villain who commits random acts of mass terror, but Alfred could just as easily be talking about Vivek Ranadive, which is all you really need to know about the Kings' predicament.

267. Carmelo Anthony

Oops. That Big Apple money starting to not sit too well.

Now that the Knicks are over a year into the Phil Experience and still pitiful, the grass is starting to look far greener in other pastures. Chicago in particular would've been an awesome fit, or really anywhere that wasn't mired in a high-profile, long-term rebuilding project.

Melo now has two options: stay the course and waste what's left of your prime in the Lottery, or play the difficult, self-defacing Trade Demand Card. Neither is a great option, and Anthony can only blame himself. Unfortunately, all the millions in the World can't buy him the one ring he still hasn't come close to.

204. Dallas Mavericks
There's plenty of takes one can have on the delirious 24 hour love triangle that DeAndre Jordan just locked the Mavs and Clippers into, but when all was settled, there was one undeniable reality: Jordan won't be in Dallas next year.

You can say whatever you want about Jordan's integrity, the Clippers' tactics, Blake Griffin's mediation skills, Chandler Parsons' Twitter game, Chris Broussard's 'sources', Wesley Matthew's ankle, or the nuclear bomb Mark Cuban is about to detonate. The Mavs had Jordan - one of the NBA's best centers regardless of free-throw woes - and now they don't. And that really sucks for them.

151. Los Angeles Lakers
This franchise is just completely soulless right now.


As if they somehow felt short on manic volume-chuckers, they went out and added Lou Williams to the Kobe/Swaggy P brigade, a pure cap-space bonfire if ever there was one.

They traded for Roy Hibbert, and while a second-round pick wasn't a huge price, they're now forking over $15 mil to a guy who's an absolute lummox on offense, and might not be the best fit defensively in LA. Hibbert's an elite rim-protector, but he's also not very quick; he'll struggle to beat attackers (and there will be plenty of them with so much rancid D on the Lakers' perimeter) to spots and use his "Verticality" to his advantage.

They may not be paying Jeremy Lin and Carlos Boozer a combined $30mil+ anymore this year, but they're paying Kobe almost that much as he continues to lurk over the franchise like a creepy ex driving by slowly at 12:57 am.

The Lakers lack both talent and cohesion, and have begun the post-Jerry era in stunning irrelevancy. They fanned on free agency, and still have a coach who thinks shooting 3's is a bad idea. At least they can chase the Top-3 Lottery status that will save them from shipping a pick to Philly, and hope to pair D'Angelo Russell with another building block,

119. Rajon Rondo
He's essentially looking to bank his future on this one season, not wanting to sign long-term when his value's at an all-time low. Problem for Rondo is that he disgraced himself so badly in Dallas that nobody wanted him, so he was left to sign with quite possibly the most dysfunctional team in the NBA, where he'll be dealing with an off-kilter owner, a conflict-oriented coach, and perhaps the single most volatile star in the NBA. Sounds like exactly the right place for a fresh start.

98. Atlanta Hawks

Between losing DeMarre Carroll and dealing with the reality that their acceptance of Tiago Splitter's salary allowed the Spurs to lay an absolute gamebreaker on the rest of the NBA, the summer's gotten off to an even rockier star than last regular season.

74. Arron Afflalo
Afflalo has two reasons to be unhappy right now: 1. Even with this salary cap boom, he barely got any kind of pay spike, and 2. He now plays for the Knicks. Enjoy being an on-the-low media target and having Carmelo look you off all year.



59. Phoenix Suns

Not really sure what they're doing here, but there's no question that they're still semi-reeling from
losing Goran Dragic and Isaiah Thomas for a gumball machine and a pair of Pumas back in February. Now, they've sunk long-term bucks into an aging center to stifle the growth of Alex Len, who once seemed like The Future. After what this team did the last time they had preseason doubters, it's hard to write them off, but their gameplan seems to be going in different directions at once.

46. Brandan Wright
A textbook win/lose. Sure, he's now got a secure role on a fringe contender after being passed around the NBA like frathouse bong last season. But, dude... fire your agent. 3 years/$18 mil??
Aron Baynes got more skrill than you.

34. Indiana Pacers
Losing Hibbert is a wash for Indiana, as his plodding, inconsistent play was becoming less and less a part of what helped them win. Essentially trading centers with L.A, the Pacers then signed Jordan Hill, giving them center of similar effectiveness at a third of the cost. Adding Monta Ellis however is a huge upgrade over Rodney Stuckey; one that should offset any offensive punch lost with David West's departure.

25. Cleveland Cavaliers
Even with Tristan Thompson's increasingly-awkward lingering no-deal, this has been a win so far for Cleveland. Even though he's wildly underutilized on the Cavs, locking up Kevin Love has to feel nice after a season of widespread tension between their de facto GM and the Dude They Just Traded Andrew Wiggins For.

18. Memphis Grizzlies
Brandan Wright is a large addition for them at a great value. Locking up Marc Gasol is also massive, though there was a roughly .00015% chance he was ever leaving anyway.

12. Dwyane Wade
See, I get that Wade's an icon in Miami, and the cap increase, yadda yadda. But last year the guy missed a quarter of the season - one in which he was already slightly overpaid at $15mil - as his body continued to go the way of an NFL running back. He had one of his worst-shooting campaigns ever, and turned the ball over more, in fewer minutes, than he has this decade. Dude opted out and got a 33% raise to stay well-rested this year with the deepest team he's ever played on. And is still married to Gabrielle Union. Life's nice in South Beach.

10. Reggie Jackson
He's got his money and alpha-status in Detroit's backcourt on what might just be a Playoff team this year. Hope he's happy now.

9. Toronto Raptors

First off, Landry Fields came off the books. Immediate win.

The Raptors nailed the first signing of the Free Agency period, snaring DeMarre Carroll from the Hawks after a season in which he was subtly one of the NBA's most effective players. His ability to produce on a team whose ball movement is nowhere close to as good as Atlanta's will dictate whether his contract's a bargain or a burden, but it can't possibly go worse than some of Toronto's previous cap space blunders. He's a large upgrade over Terrence Ross' inconsistency on both sides of the ball.

Picking up Bismack Biyombo was a nice move at a good price; while he's abhorrent offensively, he's among the NBA's better paint defenders and will give the Raptors a much-needed deterrent against attackers. Cory Joseph is also a great defender (and underrated offensive player) who will help bolster this team's identity on D, after too many soft spots exposed them last season.

There's no question the Raps will miss Amir Johnson's length and hustle, but Patrick Patterson just might be ready for an increased role, and at the very least is a high-IQ guy who bangs the glass and space the floor very well. But while losing the reigning Sixth Man of the Year might seem like a deep cut, Lou Williams was an overrated chucked who ruined any semblance of team offense, complemented by defense ranging from "casual" to "absent".

The Raptors may not have taken a full step forward yet, but after a year in which their offensive punch was repeatedly betrayed by their defensive incompetence, they're at least stepping in the right direction.

8. Houston Rockets

They kept Corey Brewer at a reasonable price, signed Patrick Beverley to one of the best deals in the NBA, and won't be hit that badly by the Josh Smith departure with Motiejunas returning. Stealing the embattled Ty Lawson from the Nuggets was yet another savvy asset pillage that gives the Rockets one of the NBA's most dangerous backcourts. Morey wins again; maybe his team might someday.

7. Milwaukee Bucks

Step one was locking up Khris Middleton, one of the most subtly sought-after players on the market.
He was a vital part of what the Bucks did last year, and will provide plenty of incentive for defenses not to double down on...

Greg Monroe Baby! What a home-run signing for a team without a go-to scorer or any semblance of inside offensive presence. Moose will likely flourish in a system with more spacing than he ever had in Detroit (Michael Carter-Williams notwithstanding), no longer forced to share touches with Josh Smith and Andre Drummond.

Add him to a unit that's welcoming back Jabari Parker and will get to reach deeper into Giannis Antetokounmpo's complex toolbox, and you probably have a dark horse East contender if all breaks right.

6. "3 & D" Guys
They're the trendiest commodity in the NBA at the perfect time: gritty defenders who can cover a variety of matchups, also provide that most coveted of offensive assets: spacing. Two-way play has never been more easily quantified (and thus extrapolated to the realms of contract negotiations), so guys like the aforementioned DeMarre Carroll and Khris Middleton are getting PAID.

5. Jimmy Butler
Very seldom does turning down big guaranteed money work out for players as well as it did for Butler, who told the Bulls' cheapskate ownership to fuck off at 4 yrs/$44mil last October, then proceeded to win the NBA's Most Improved Player award. Because Jimmy Butler's either both smart or very well-represented, and also extremely good at basketball, he's also now $50 million richer than he would've been behind Door A.

4. Draymond Green
Now both has a championship, and makes over ten times as much money as he did last season. Talk about a Contract Year.


3. New Orleans Pelicans

The Pelicans may have just inked the largest contract in NBA history, but if there was a single player
in the league right now who you'd wanted secured long-term, they now have him.

Anthony Davis is going to be a destructive force of incomprehensible magnitude for the next decade. He's now given the Pelicans five of the best years of his career to build a winner around him, after a spirited run to the 8-seed. They've started by hiring a real coach (sorry Monty), and while Eric Gordon understandably exercised his gaudy $15-milly player option, they have room to grow with very little money tied up long-term and the salary cap exploding imminently.

But let's not overthink anything, this is really simple: The Brow is yours for at least the next five years. Twenty-nine teams are envious.

2. Los Angeles Clippers

The DeAndre Jordan heist was perhaps the greatest free agency coup in recent memory; cornering the
quasi-star center in his house and literally locking the team's braintrust in a room with him until he re-signed. You can crow all you want about the so-called 'ethics' of the whole thing but there's no arguing its result is absolutely massive for the Clippers.

That alone is worth a high spot on this summer's rankings, but L.A. also shored up their painfully shallow roster with the additions of Paul Pierce, Lance Stephenson, and most recently Josh Smith. Pierce will bring poise, swag, and infinitely better spacing than Matt Barnes; even in his career's twilight, he's still got it. While Stephenson and (to a lesser extent) Smith can be wild cards, both will be massive upgrades over anything the Clippers had coming off the bench last year, even if there are occasional headaches.

The Clippers beat the Spurs in an epic first-round battle with Austin Rivers as a 6th Man, which is basically to say they did it with no bench whatsoever. If Smith and Stephenson don't carelessly implode in their new roles (and they're less likely to do it under a no-bullshit coach like Doc Rivers), this roster will be a nightmare for opponents and definite contender.


1. The Dark Side of the Alamo

The Spurs always win. It's just what they do. Even when they lost in the playoffs this year, they went down in one of the greatest displays of defeat ever.

So they feel they need to level up - how do they respond? Oh you know, just by scooping the best fucking player available; a fringe MVP-type who will allow Tim Duncan to pick his spots on offense and Kawhi Leonard to blossom in the Pippen role he's best suited for (LaMarcus Aldridge, not Jimmer Fredette).

Speaking of Kawhi, they inked him and Danny Green to bargain-basement deals, while convincing David West to sign with them for the veteran's minimum; bolstering what was already one of the NBA's deepest rosters (and making Ray Allen eat his words).

They should be favored to notch another title next year, though given that the Spurs always win, that shouldn't really surprise anyone.