2016-17 NBA Preview - Part 3: The Hardware

Now that I've crowed on about why your team's not going to beat the Warriors/Cavs for several thousand words, it's time to get to the real fun of Banter's NBA Season Previw - The Hardware.

(Premature) Envelopes Please!

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - JOEL EMBIID PHILADELPHIA 76ers

With teammate and #1 pick Ben Simmons gone for possibly the whole season, and Kris Dunn being brought on slightly slower than first thought, this could be Embiid's award to lose provided he can stay healthy. While pinning ROY on a guy who's missed two full seasons prior to his debut, the patience seems to have paid off with Embiid, who has been beyond impressive in a small sample.

Sternly reminding everyone why he was so hyped pre-injury, Embiid gets to compete against a pretty shallow class, with a number of likely impact-rookies - Dunn, Jaylen Brown, Domantas Sabonis, etc - stuck in competition for minutes. Embiid will have all the opportunity, he just needs to dodge some bad injury luck.

CONTENDERS: Kris Dunn, Marquese Chriss, Buddy Hield, Dario Saric


SIXTH MAN OF THE YEAR - BRANDON KNIGHT, PHOENIX SUNS


Much as it pains me not to go with Z-Bo, newly-minted to Memphis' bench mob, I have to give Brandon Knight the benefit of the doubt here. There's just too much potential for him to beast weaker second units, and being able to see minutes at both guard spots alongside either of Phoenix's starters will give him ample opportunity to contribute.

Knight has lots going for him as a young, athletic and largely-overqualified sixth man on a free-flowing team whose backcourt is sure to buoy its offense. What's more, the biggest knock on Knight - his poor shooting -might be moot, since Jamal Crawford has won this award three times.

CONTENDERS: Zach Randolph, Evan Turner, Bismack Biyombo, Andre Iguodala, Enes Kanter, Jamal Crawford


COACH OF THE YEAR - QUIN SNYDER, UTAH JAZZ

COY is always kind of a crapshoot since it's often predicated on defying expectation and may have the most abstract criteria of any of the NBA's awards.

This year, like any, it could go a number of ways: Pop is always a contender, Brad Stevens may steer the Celts' ascent high enough to snare the honor, Tom Thibodeau will preside over a T-Wolves leap, and someone else will come out of nowhere like Dave Joerger and Terry Stotts did last year.

But Snyder might stand the best chance, with Utah's stock set to skyrocket up the West standings, likely crashing the 50-win barrier and possibly homecourt with a top-4 seed. Snyder's coaching chops have been put to the test through two injury-riddled seasons on the Jazz bench; if he's as good with a healthy lineup as he is with reserves, he'll be right in the thick of this race.

CONTENDERS: Brad Stevens, Gregg Popovich, Tom Thibodeau, Coach X


MOST IMPROVED PLAYER - MYLES TURNER, INDIANA PACERS

This might be easily said after Turner opened the season with a 30/16/2stl/4blk rampage, but this is sort of something I've seen coming; stashing him all last year in my fantasy keeper league, while happily making him the fourth round's first pick in my yearly.

Turner possesses uncanny movement for a player of his size and reach, and his range on offense makes him a nightmare to account for pretty much anywhere on the floor. Now that Indiana's starting center spot is unquestionably his, the consistent playing time and confidence boost should translate to multi-faceted improvement for a player with such a vast potential of elite skill sets.

CONTENDERS: D'Angelo Russell, Devin Booker, Victor Oladipo, Dennis Schroder, Clint Capela, 


DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR - DRAYMOND GREEN, GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

So it's pretty much accepted that Kawhi Leonard is the NBA's best defender. He sustains himself on swingmen's souls. But just like LeBron James has been the NBA's best player for the last decade and has only 4 MVPs to his name, best doesn't always equate to the award. I think Draymond ships it this year, for four reasons:

1. He's lost two of the closest voting races in DPOY history to Kawhi the past couple seasons.

2. He's going to have to exert himself far less on offense with Durant eating so many touches, and can devote even more effort to defensive destruction. Draymond will also be playing with a chip on his shoulder, as he knows he very possibly cost his team an NBA title, and is not the type to take that lightly.

3. Tim Duncan - the NBA's leader in defensive plus-minus last season - has now become repeat liability Pau Gasol. The Spurs' D is thus highly unlikely to crush the team rankings like they did last year, removing a proverbial feather from Leonard's cap.

4. As much as we hate to admit, there's definitely a "boredom bias" against awarding a multiple-repeat winner, at least among some voters. As close as it's been between these two, that could be enough to tilt things Green's way. Said bias is only going to be further shifted by what you're about to read below.

CONTENDERS: Kawhi Leonard, Rudy Gobert, Hassan Whiteside, DeAndre Jordan


MOST VALUABLE PLAYER: KAWHI LEONARD, SAN ANTONIO SPURS


The pieces are all in place for this to happen for last year's runner-up. Timmy D's retirement means the Spurs are now unquestionably Kawhi's team, and he's a pretty consistent occasion-riser. A completely dominant defender across multiple positions, and one of the NBA's most efficient offensive weapons, he's likely to further benefit from a number of outside factors.

Curry and Durant will likely devour each other's odds of winning, LeBron will be on cruisiest of controls until April, and Westbrook and Harden's teams aren't going to be good enough for them to win unless they massively upend historical precedent. As such, Leonard may have just stepped into MVP status by default.

CONTENDERS: Russell Westbrook, James Harden, LeBron James, Stephen Curry, Kevin Durant


EAST ALL-STARS
STARTERS: G-Kyle Lowry, G-Kyrie Irving, F- Jimmy Butler, F-LeBron James, F-Paul George

Not really a whole lot to think about here; these guys should be pretty clear-cut starters in a perfect world. In reality Melo will probably swerve into a starting spot, but unless the Knicks greatly exceed expectations it won't be in merit.

BENCH: G-John Wall, G-Giannis Antetokounmpo, F-Paul Millsap, F-Andre Drummond, F-Al Horford, WC-Demar DeRozan, WC-Isaiah Thomas 

Wall is an obvious pick, and could-be starter if the Wiz didn't suck.  The Bucks are going to be mediocre at best this year, but Antetokounmpo will be hard to ignore when he's flirting with triple-doubles nightly.  Isaiah Thomas also gets the nod for what should be a top-3 team, ditto for DeRozan.

Millsap can also punch his ticket; coming off a career year, his all-around game even more valuable to Atlanta with also-slotted Al Horford gone, whose Celtics could very much be a "Should Have Two All-Stars" team. Andre Drummond gets a slight nod over Carmelo Anthony, mostly because Detroit will be noticeably better than New York.

Snubs: Carmelo Anthony, Kemba Walker, Hassan Whiteside, Kevin Love, Dwyane Wade, Reggie Jackson, Serge Ibaka


WEST ALL STARS
STARTERS: G-Stephen Curry, G-Russell Westbrook, F-Kevin Durant, F-Kawhi Leonard,
F-Draymond Green

Picking between the Curry/Westbrook/Harden/Paul Mount Rushmore of backcourt awesomeness is like pulling teeth with no anesthetic; those spots can go any way. Leonard is a no-brainer at one frontcourt spot, while Durant and Green should both still rep for the Dubs if reality meets expectations.

BENCH: G-Chris Paul, G-James Harden, F-Blake Griffin, F-Anthony Davis, F-Karl-Anthony Towns, WC-Damian Lillard, WC-Marc Gasol
Harden and CP3 are automatic, Blake Griffin should be as well if he can avoid breaking his hand on someone's face. Karl-Anthony Towns has all kinds of momentum in his favor, and if the Wolves make a leap, he'll likely be here. As should Davis, with his annual Great Player/Awful Team challenge. Bad D and all, Lillard is still a must for one Wild Card spot, and a healthy Gasol is still an all-around beast for what should be a top-5 team.

Lots more depth of top-tier talent here obviously, with Cousins and Aldridge both serious threats to Gasol's spot. Cousins would have pretty safe odds if the Kings weren't in complete disarray, while Aldridge is in limbo and might not even be on the Spurs by midseason.

Snubs: DeMarcus Cousins, LaMarcus Aldridge, Klay Thompson, Gordon Hayward, Mike Conley, Eric Bledsoe, DeAndre Jordan, CJ McCollum, Derrick Favors, Dirk Nowitzki 


ALL-NBA TEAMS

FIRST: G-Russell Westbrook, G-James Harden, F-LeBron James, F-Kawhi Leonard, C-Anthony Davis

SECOND: G-Stephen Curry, G-Chris Paul, F-Kevin Durant, F-Paul George, C- Karl-Anthony Towns

THIRD: G-Kyle Lowry, G-Damian Lillard, F-Draymond Green, F-Paul Millsap, C-DeAndre Jordan

Now comes the fun part: Seeing how wrong I am.

Enjoy the season everyone!

2016-17 NBA Preview - Part 2: The West

With the East Preview of out the way, it's time to shift scenery over the Wild Wild West, which, in contrast to its reputation, doesn't look all that wild anymore.

Time was, the entire conference was a stacked bloodbath of potential contenders, with upset potential throughout the playoffs. Now the West's depth has withered like a sun-dried tomato, leaving few established threats and a very distinct caste hierarchy:

The Warriors are unquestionably the conference's best team. Only the Spurs and Clippers have any hope of nabbing the 2nd seed, and beneath them just the Jazz, Grizzlies and Blazers project safely as playoff teams. After that, it's a murky quagmire of on-the-fly rebuilds, precocious upstarts, and identity crises.

While the West's bottom-feeders still have marginally brighter collective futures than their East counterparts, the parity between conferences seems to be inching back towards an equilibrium. How does it all stack up? Let's dive in:

LOTTERY LOCKS:

15. Los Angeles Lakers

After a few years of wayward purgatory at the end of Kobe's career, the Lakers can at least begin to steer themselves in the right direction. While they're free of Bryant's lifetime achievement salary and have a potential future core in the Russell-Ingram-Randle triad, they're still at least a season away from beginning their ascent.

In the meantime they're at least decent fodder for jokes about Timofey Mozgov's contract, the Russell/Nick Young dynamic, and how long it will take Luol Deng to regret signing here.

14. Sacramento Kings
xTo nobody's surprise, the Kings are yet again a mess heading into this year. Instead of building around All-Star DeMarcus Cousins, Sacramento seems more likely to trade him, with 1/3 of their roster now centers, and Cousins in near-constant malaise when the franchise does dumb shit like this, and this.

Even with Boogie, the Kings are likely lotto-fodder, but with both he and Rudy Gay swirling around in trade rumors, there could be a total bottom-out on the way in Sac-Town. Hopefully they use the upcoming lottery pick more wisely.

12. New Orleans Pelicans
xNot a wicked franchise arc for the Pels right now. Their pseudo-attempt at Win Now Mode topped out at the 8-seed, and now they're left with an ambiguous bottom-rung roster.

Anthony Davis is obviously awesome, but becoming somewhat of a lock to miss ~15 games every year. Jrue Holiday's indefinite absence leaves their point guard situation (an E'Twaun Moore/Norris Cole/Langston Galloway smorgasbord) in heavy flux. The Pels employ three terrible centers, are relying on a few guys literally playing for their careers, and have the Solomon Hill contract to answer for. Don't expect it to happen this year.

13. Phoenix Suns

The Suns' backcourt is pretty stacked. Shifting Brandon Knight to the bench is a natural adjustment that will allow him to see minutes at both guard spots against bench units he'll completely torch.

The frontcourt however remains a mystery, but has breakout potential. Alex Len's infuriating inconsistency should benefit from a year of health, while Dragan Bender and Marquese Chriss look like impact rookies. Either way there will be growing pains, and not much stock in a playoff run for another season at least.

11. Denver Nuggets

Denver's a tough team to peg this year. Heavy on mid-level assets, they've been involved in rumored blockbusters for years, but have never managed to work out a deal for a star with their myriad Kenneth Faried packages.

That could change this year, with Jusuf Nurkic very expendable, up-and-comers Will Barton and Gary Harris showing out (with lotto pick Jamal Murray waiting in the wings), and Danilo Gallinari coming off a career year if a Denver finds someone willing to gamble on his health. Really their only untouchable is Nikola Jokic, which leaves them open to many possibilities.

This roster could look very different even a couple months from now, but even as constructed, they have a balanced attack of good-to-elite shooters surrounding one of the league's best young big men. They project as a below-average defensive unit (hence why they're here) but Denver should be at worst a fun League Pass watch.

PLAYOFF CONTENDERS:

10. Dallas Mavericks

The Mavs' long string of shitty free agency luck kept spooling this summer when they settled for maxing out Harrison Barnes in perhaps the summer's most  egregious money-bonfire. Swiping Andrew Bogut from the Warriors' Durant Sale was a pleasant surprise (marking the first time the Mavs' summer center plans didn't get fucked over), but likely won't be enough to keep their playoff streak alive.

The Mavs have depth issues across the board, and will be able to rely less and less on Dirk Nowitzki's German-engineered longevity. Their fate lies in the hands of several past-their-prime guys most of whom have spotty health records. Unless Harrison Barnes is worth every dollar (and the safe bet is that he isn't), Dallas will be facing a transition very soon.

9. Minnesota Timberwolves

Welcome to Team Next. Now show-run by an elite basketball mind, and with the NBA's best stable of young talent, the Wolves are primed for a major leap this year.

Having Tom Thibodeau calling the shots instead of glorified assistant Sam Mitchell will mean all the difference in the World, especially to a young troupe of athletic legs with lots to learn and stamina to keep up with Thibs' rigor.

Most of their roster has upside to realize, Karl-Anthony Towns is an MVP-in-waiting, and Kris Dunn looks like arguably this year's most impactful rookie. Even just natural growth and continuity would hugely benefit these guys, but such a significant coaching upgrade will be like an HGH boost. They're doubtful to actually crack the playoffs, but don't expect them to be far off.

8. Houston Rockets

The Rockets are going to be an awesome League Pass team this year. Mike D'Antoni and a noticeable shooting upgrade are going to usher in a new era of high-paced :07 Seconds or Less offensive artistry.

Houston will rack up points, which is good, because they couldn't defend a parked Vespa. They have leaks everywhere on D, starting two minus defenders (Nene, Eric Gordon) and two abhorrently bad ones (Ryan Anderson, and perennial YouTube legend James Harden). With all the easy paths to the hoop, their only rim protector (Clint Capela) has awareness and positioning issues. Plus their best defender (Patrick Beverly) is missing the season's first 6 weeks.

Harden's new purely-cosmetic point guard designation will be plentiful with so much spacing around him, but Anderson, Gordon and Trevor Ariza aren't spreed demons; teams with long, switchable perimeter D (and there's more of them every year) could force turnovers and contested shots easily.

7. Oklahoma City Thunder

So ya, Kevin Durant's obviously gone. That sucks. But Russell Westbrook didn't bolt, and he's about to put on a Man On Fire act unlike any we've seen. That alone should carry OKC to the playoffs, in a West middle tier that suddenly isn't as fearsome anymore.

While Westbrook is one-man instant offense, the Thunder's spacing looks very weird, with little outside shooting and a Kanter/Adams post combo with maybe 6-8 feet of range. OKC is also depressingly thin at the 3 and 4, making Durant's absence all the more noticeable. Vic Oladipo will benefit nicely from Westbrook sucking defenses in like a Dyson - routinely creating open looks than he ever would've had in Orlando - but the Thunder are one of the NBA's ideal lane-clogging targets for opposing D.

PLAYOFF PROBABLES:

6. Portland Trailblazers

Portland shocked the NBA last year with an unlikely ascent into the West playoffs after losing five of their six best players over the summer of 2015. While there's no denying they blew away expectations as a team, the Blazers' results definitely benefited from several teams (namely the two that follow here) dealing with perpetual roster-wide injury. Thus, while they're a better team on paper, they'll have a tough time holding their footing.

That said, the Blazers have lots of potential upside to realize in their weirdly-effective frontcourt, and a more physical, athletic presence after committing grand larceny with the Festus Ezeli deal. Evan Turner is perhaps the NBA's best Swiss Army Knife 6th Man, and should thrive in an identical role and similar system to his Boston gig. Slotting Portland here kinda has to be done, but feels very much like their floor, especially if Allen Crabbe's worth anywhere even in the same area code as his new contract.

5. Memphis Grizzlies

RIP Grit N Grind. With Chandler Parsons' acquisition and Zach Randolph's bench demotion, the Grizz have finally drank the potion and zagged with most of the NBA into a space-and-pace system. Parsons, when healthy, is precisely the kind of player the Grizzlies have longed for, but the "when healthy" part highlights a major concern for Memphis.

As much as Randolph and Tony Allen are still cornerstones of the Grizzlies' culture and identity, their on-court makeup rests heavily on Marc Gasol, Mike Conley and Parsons, all of whom are coming off serious injuries with unclear long-term implications. It's supremely unlikely Memphis' roster is hit as hard by injury as last year, but a fully healthy season would be a pleasant surprise.

4. Utah Jazz

The Jazz have "leap" written all over them this year. Where to start? First off they have a stable
chocked full of young talent, any of whom could take large personal strides.

They also now start an average point guard, which would seem like a ho-hum statement if Utah's PG situation wasn't perhaps the single most deficient position in the NBA last year. As a bonus, they return Dante Exum from injury, embarking on one of the league's more intriguing dice-rolls at backup.

Utah, like Memphis, were also hit hard by injuries last year. While Gordon Hayward hasn't gotten them off to a great start they're even less likely than the Grizz to see such misfortune repeat itself. With fewer lineup shifts, Utah's young core will benefit from continuity and collective growth. They also made a couple great on-the-low offseason signings in Joe Johnson and Boris Diaw, who provide veteran presence and are still capable on-court contributors.

Add it all up and it's hard to see Utah not leaping at least several spots up this season's West standings.

3. Los Angeles Clippers

One of the NBA's most frustrating teams, the Clippers seem stubbornly bent on maxing out as a 3-seed and getting knocked out in the 2nd round every year. They have the pieces - one of the NBA's best Big-3s surrounded by a passable 2-way supporting cast and coached by one of the best - but the health, stamina, focus and overall desire are all question marks.

You pretty much know what you're getting with this virtually-unchanged roster. If they can string together a healthy season from both Chris Paul and Blake Griffin, they could challenge San Antonio for the 2-seed, but overall their potential range is very narrow. Only a serious injury will drop them out the West's top-3, and only a miracle will get them past the Spurs or Warriors in the spring.

2. San Antonio Spurs

The Spurs without Tim Duncan is going to be weird; like a peanut butter sandwich without the jam, Meth without Red, or Dany Targaryen without dragons. As the Spurs shift into a new era, they've found themselves a decent placeholder at center in Pau Gasol (albeit one who's far worse defensively).

There are several questions surrounding the Spurs' season, including how much Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili have left in the tank, the prospects of trading LaMarcus Aldridge, and how severe Pop's separation anxiety from Duncan will be.

Regardless, the Spurs set a franchise record for wins last year with Duncan in a cameo role, and rock by far the league's most stable system and pedigree. They're as safe a bet for the West's #2 seed as any team in any spot league-wide.

1. Golden State Warriors 
They won 73 games last year, then got Kevin Durant. What else do you want.

Stay tuned for Part 3: The Hardware, dropping any day now....

2016-17 NBA Preview - Part 1: The East

Ah, October.

The air is crisply cooling, the leaves are going all Bob Ross, pumpkins are being carved, pumpkin pie is being served, and everything else is pumpkin spiced. Most importantly, the struggle through baseball, golf and televised darts felt by NBA fans is on its last whimper.

After a historic offseason, we've been left with what seems like a foregone conclusion: the Warriors and Cavaliers will meet again in the Finals, with the Dubs looking unbeatable if healthy.

But between now and an inevitable ending, a very dynamic and delicate power struggle will play out among the NBA's middle tier. Venture far out of either conference's top-3 and the pecking order is very unclear. With so much player movement this summer, not only are some variables unknown, but the resulting margins slim - playoff spots should be a dogfight in both conferences.

Speaking of conferences, let's jump into a breakdown of each in Part 1 of Banter's 100% Guaranteed, Flawlessly Hypothesized NBA Preview; starting with the East:

LOTTERY LOCKS: 


15. Brooklyn Nets
As laughable as this roster is, it's still similarly talented on paper to a Simmons-less Sixers, and certainly more experienced. That said, they have far less upside and no means whatsoever to better themselves mid-season.

It's going to be a close race for the bottom between the two. If only Brooklyn had any incentive to be bad; forking over their next two first-round picks, both sure bets for the Top-5.

14. Philadelphia 76ers

The Ben Simmons injury hurts a lot. He was a Sixers rookie, so odds are it was happening, but it's a swift kick in the head to Philly's momentum. It also doesn't bode well for #TheProcess that their likely three best players are all centers.

Philly will now have to scrap either way to escape their token role as the NBA's Worst, but a seemingly inevitable trade of either Noel or Jahlil Okafor could put Philly in a better position to weather Simmons' loss and actually make sense as a basketball team.

13. Miami Heat
xThe bigger they come the harder they fall. By LeBron's count, Miami should still be defending an NBA championship; instead they find themselves unexpectedly thrust into a rebuild.

Losing both Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh signals a new era for the Heat, and knocks them down to the East basement where tanking is a very real possibility. They lack consistent scoring outside of Goran Dragic; relying on increased roles from a Josh Richardson/Hassan Whiteside/Dion Waiters/Derrick Williams quartet that cumulatively went for a whopping 35 ppg last year.

Even if Tyler Johnson lives up to his comical new contract, it's hard to see them winning any more than 30 games. Miami might be better off punting with their sights on 2017's plentiful Draft Class.

PLAYOFF CONTENDERS:

12. Charlotte Hornets

Last season the Hornets re-discovered themselves, playing at a top-10 pace with a balanced and varied scoring attack. After losing three key cogs, Charlotte will have to lean much more heavily on Kemba Walker and Nicolas Batum to put the ball in the basket.

While the defensive versatility of the Batum/Marvin Williams/Michael Kidd-Gilchrist trifecta gives the Hornets lots of options and a long presence on the perimeter, MKG's sub-par shooting will only further serve to constrict the offense, and subsidize double-teams of Walker drives.

Charlotte could potentially create headaches on D for certain small-ball lineups, but overall have lost enough scoring punch to suggest a regression back to the lottery.

11. Orlando Magic

So much nonsense going on here. Deal-happy Magic GM Rob Hennigan might be executing a thinly-veiled asset horde, but their awkward glut of big men serves to stymie both trade value and their progress as a basketball team.

So much of this bizarre experiment hinges on Aaron Gordon's transition to "small forward" (if positions still exist). While Gordon gives them a wide athletic framework within which to work, it's nearly impossible to see all of Orlando's bigs fitting into the rotation without marginalizing each other to some extent.

Rumors abound suggest that Nikola Vucevic may be on the trading block, but the market for a center who offers no rim protection and can't quite hit 3s might be dry. A forthcoming deal may help this team find an identity; as of right now it's nebulous at best.

10. Milwaukee Bucks 

Losing Khris Middleton for possibly the entire year hits the Bucks like a Ford Expedition, especially in terms of their spacing-challenged offense. Relics Jason Terry and Steve Novak might be forced into bigger roles out of pure necessity.

Milwaukee seems bent on replicating the Thunder's recently-dismantled Long Ball blueprint, and while all their limbs project as a strong defensive unit, they really couldn't afford to lose their best shooter.

The Bucks' best hopes of salvaging this season come in trading Greg Monroe, who's on a great deal and would fit better on just about any other team. They could fetch a badly-needed perimeter threat and open up the starting center spot for John Henson, one of the NBA's most comically-underused players.

9. Washington Wizards

Maxing out Bradley Beal was a gamble the Wizards had to take after completely fanning on the Kevin Durant Sweepstakes, especially in this summer's apocalyptic Free Agency market. That said, it pins a lot of resources on a player who's missed a quarter of his NBA career so far, while spending another third of it playing through or recovering from injury. At full health, Beal is a borderline All-Star, but our glimpses of it have been fleeting.

John Wall is obviously a franchise building block, but his greatest weakness - his shooting - is only exacerbated without Beal flanking him. In fact most of Washington's roster, like several other lower-rung East teams, seems bereft of en-vogue floor-spacing, unless the petulant Markieff Morris is suddenly becoming an offensive centerpiece.

8. Chicago Bulls 

A peculiar and lateral offseason for "Da Bulls". They traded Derrick Rose, presumably aware that he was ball-stopping Jimmy Butler and clogging their already-shaky spacing with his awful outside shooting.

Now with Robin Lopez as insurance for the imminently-departing Pau Gasol, the Bulls needed to get Butler some help on offense. They thus proceeded to sign not one, but two high-cost players who - maddeningly similar to Rose - will keep the ball out of Butler's hands and do little-to-nothing to space the floor.

It's unclear if this ill-advised hodgepodge of perimeter talent qualifies as a Big 3, but if so the Butler-Wade-Rondo trio is probably the most dysfunctional ever.

PLAYOFF PROBABLES: 


7. New York Knicks
The Knicks made progress this summer. There's no two ways about it; they'll be a better basketball team in 2016-17. But the pidgeon-steps they took towards contention with Melo's window dwindling are far from flattering for Phil Jackson's third offseason. Going almost-all-in on Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah is a serious gamble; the Knicks will be lucky to get a healthy season out of both, never mind their pre-injury selves.

Brandon Jennings will be a welcome addition to their scoring-bound bench, but behind him it's dental floss-thin. Meanwhile Kristaps Porzingis (he of the Latvian rap video) is the team's only significant realizable upside, and his development risks being stymied while Rose and Carmelo Anthony dominate the ball. Their ceiling seems fairly capped even at perfect health - which is far from guaranteed.

6. Atlanta Hawks  

The Hawks aren't in that bad shape for a team that lost two of its three best players over the summer, but maintaining their mid-level playoff spot will depend on several variables:

- that Dennis Schroder will make a leap from stud backup to above-average starter (possible)
- that Kent Bazemore's worth all the money they just gave him (probable)
- and that the Dwight Howard signing won't go up in flames (anyone's guess)

Howard certainly renders Atlanta more combustible than they've been since the Josh Smith era, and poses difficulties for Coach Bud's fluid offense if unwilling to seriously adjust. Paul Millsap is a beast, but there's only so much he can do to keep ATL's system together as the team around him gradually erodes.

5. Detroit Pistons 

Losing Reggie Jackson for the first month-plus of the season blows for a team that many are picking to rise to the top of the East's clusterfucked middle tier. Ish Smith is far from a bad replacement (he'll be great for Andre Drummond on the pick-n-roll), but that stretches an already-thin backcourt bench further.

Their sans-Jackson schedule isn't overly hard, but Tobias Harris is unproven as a primary scorer, and openings for 3's from KCP and Marcus Morris won't be as wide or frequent without Jackson's slashing.

But once Jackson returns, they field a fearsome starting five, well equipped for the space-and-pace offense Stan Van Gundy's so fond of. Not to mention they have Boban.

THE BRIDESMAIDS:

4. Indiana Pacers

The Pacers might've taken a step back defensively with their summer makeover, but the gains on offense - an area which has plagued Indiana for several seasons - are considerable. With a new scoring-friendly coach in the driver's seat, Indiana now has threats from every position to surround Paul George, who seemed like a one-man army at times last year.

Plus it's not like they're suddenly awful on D now. They only have leaks in a couple spots (#MontaEllis), Paul George is still a multi-positional defensive monster, and Myles Turner will become a truly elite rim protector as his IQ and positioning develop.

The net result of the Pacers' shift in philosophy may be a moot point overall. They're much deeper and more talented than last year's iteration, which is why they've returned to the East's upper tier.

3. Toronto Raptors

At first glance it seems like the Raptors had a blah offseason aside from the somewhat-likely Demar DeRozan re-up. Losing breakout Bismack Biyombo while some of their direct competition re-tooled heavily isn't a great start.

But the Jared Sullinger acquisition is large for a rotation that saw Luis Scola log heavy minutes last year. The Raptors now can time-share between two competent, multi-skilled fours without feeding Scola's corpse to opposing athletes.

The Six's summer also saw their All-Star backcourt win Olympic gold medals, an experience whose impact has translated dramatically to the NBA for a number of players. It's not irrational to expect some net positive effect after a summer of playing/training with a handful of the World's truly elite, and - more importantly - getting the best coaching Lowry or DeRozan have ever had. At the absolute least, Toronto's two most important pieces are riding a wave of confidence after inconsistent postseasons.

DeMarre Carroll missed a big chunk of last year and will certainly have a two-way impact, while any development from stashes Bruno Caboclo or Lucas Nogueira would only be icing on the cake. The East's top four will be tougher this year, but the Raps won't be helpless to defend themselves.

2. Boston Celtics

It can't be underscored how huge the Al Horford signing is for a team that hoarded assets in search of a star, then had one dropped in their lap, at their shallowest position no less. Horford would've fit well just about anywhere, but especially so in Boston, who retain their disposable youth and Rolodex of draft picks for the next move.

With lots of available talent, and now two All-Stars to beckon potential trade targets, the odds of Danny Ainge pulling the trigger on a blockbuster aren't bad, raising the Celtics' projected ceiling. But even at present they're probably the East's 2nd-best team, with depth at every position behind a sneaky-good starting lineup.

Losing alpha sixth-man Evan Turner hurts a varied roster like Boston's a lot less, especially given his price tag. Brad Stevens has an absurd knack for maximizing his talent's effectiveness, so he'll find innovative ways to replace Turner's production and continue the Celts' ascent.

HOMECOURT GOES TO:

1. Cleveland Cavaliers This just is happening. Long live JR Smith.

Stay tuned for Part 2: The West, and Part 3: The Hardware, coming soon to a smartphone screen near you...

Offseason Power Rankings

They came. They saw. They spent.

The 2016 offseason will be remembered for two things:

First, obviously, Kevin Durant joining the Golden State Warriors. Second, and more notably, the floodgates of TV money opening up and unleashing a Biblical wave of contract bloating upon the 2016 free agency class.

Plenty happened this summer, but those dominant themes shook the NBA to its core, rippling far in a summer of transition for an abnormal number of franchises (as you're about to see).

With hundreds of players, teams, moments and metaphysical concepts adrift in the aftermath, there's plenty to sort out. To help keep track of who got the best and worst of things this summer, here are Banter's 2016 Offseason Power Rankings:

Last. Hack-A-Shaq

Second-Last. The BasedGod Curse

Third-Last. North Carolina's All-Star Game Hosting Privileges

704. Brooklyn Nets

When it rains it pours. So soon after they forfeited draft picks for aging veterans, the Nets are awful, unable to rebuild, and attempting to incinerate money in a desperate dash for the Salary Floor. Fully expect them to assume Philly's spot as the NBA's Worst Team.

699. Dion Waiters

685. Vivek Ranadive's Q Rating

662. Oklahoma City Thunder
The Russell Westbrook re-up was significant, and the Ibaka trade was a nice scoop for a player becoming less relevant to the Thunder's success.

But examining OKC's offseason in any other context than "they just lost Kevin Durant for nothing", is kinda missing the forest for the trees.

650. Miami Heat
Gone are Joe Johnson, Luol Deng, and franchise icon Dwyane Wade. In their place are Wayne Ellington, Luke Babbitt and the immortal Dion Waiters. With Chris Bosh's career also in the balance, the Heat are inches away from a total rebuild, while matching one of the summer's most preposterous contract offers.

628. Dave Joerger
Jeorger bolted Memphis after a remarkable performance last year, amid a perhaps-legit beef with upper management. With suitors lined up around the league, he thus promptly committed to the franchise where he's far-and-away most likely to encounter perhaps-legit beef with upper management.

619. Washington Wizards

618. John Wall's Career Arc
As recently as 10 months ago, John Wall was one of the NBA's can't-miss up-and-comers, piloting the East's 'Team to Watch'. The rudderless Wizards have since missed the playoffs, hired Scott Brooks, signed Markieff Morris, and maxed-out one of the most oft-injured players in the league; none of which bode well for Wall returning them to relevancy.

601. Thon Maker 
Got drafted at least 15 spots too high; nobody knows how old he is. Sounds safe.

590. Jeremy Lin 

584. Dwight Howard
After leaving yet another city in a blazing shitstorm of acrimony, Howard lands in his hometown with Al Horford's big shoes to fill and a growing body of evidence suggesting he's fallen off significantly.

With the now-rhetorical questions about his character and desire to win still lingering, the ATL cookin' could be exactly what man-child D12 needs. But if history and circumstance are any indicator, he's just setting himself up for the most painful disappointment yet.

568. My Views on "Make Your Own Dream Team" Memes

541. Milwaukee Bucks
They made a dementia-suggesting draft reach for a guy who may or may not be like 40 years old, and largely whiffed on the shooting their offense badly needs. Unless Mirza Teletovic is somehow the key, this could be another long season in Wisconsin. At least they have Giannis.

526. Atlanta Hawks

499. Chicago Bulls
Mildly unclear what's going on here. Dwyane Wade and Rajon Rondo are two "name players" that will take the ball out of Jimmy Butler's hands (generally a bad thing) and clog any lineup without a Mirotic/McBuckets forward combo to spread the floor. Sorta defeats the purpose of the Derrick Rose trade.

465. Dallas Mavericks
Whiffed on all their major free agency targets and had to resort to massively overpaying Harrison Barnes. On the bright side, they salvaged Andrew Bogut and faded Dirk's retirement, but still not exactly a win for the Mavs.

443. Charlotte Hornets

411. New Orleans Pelicans

387. Detroit Pistons
BOBAN!! Relevant side-note: The Pistons are currently the second-highest-paid roster in the league at $116 million committed next year.

350. Toronto Raptors
Getting priced out of the Bismack Biyombo sweepstakes was a painful inevitability for the Raptors, one they tried to remedy by drafting a guy who apparently can't dunk in the lottery. Biz was one of the NBA's more underrated players before his postseason explosion, and a big hole to patch in their defense.

The DeRozan re-signing is a strong indicator for the Raps (and Canadian basketball in general). Despite Demar's sickening inconsistency in the playoffs, it keeps them competitive. Coming off a summer with some of the World's best coaches on Team USA certainly doesn't hurt him either.

Jared Sullinger gives Toronto a far more competent option than Luis Scola at the four, but combine the Biyombo loss with direct competition improving markedly, and The North will likely have a tougher run at an East Finals repeat.

322. New York Knicks

The Knicks' offseason has been much-trumpeted in many realms of the Internet, but for me it's mainly a wash. Cast into Win-Now Mode by Melo's ticking clock, they've dumped a whole lot of money and hope into two guys - Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah - who've each been paltry shells of their past selves for at least two years. In Rose, they've inherited the only deal signed in 2012 that could possibly suck under the current cap.

D-Rose and Melo's ball-dominance will be an interesting mesh, and even a fully healthy season from Rose and/or Noah would be a mild surprise. Courtney Lee is a good two-way guard and Brandon Jennings will give life to an offense-dormant 2nd unit, but the Knicks' likely fate is still a bottom-tier playoff team. A total sophomore explosion from the Porzingod might be their best chance at a real leap.

302. San Antonio Spurs
Tim Duncan's absence will be a strange concept to absorb; he was the San Antonio Spurs (at least on-court; #Pop) for damn near two decades. There are far worse replacements than Pau Gasol, but the Spurs' bid for West supremacy got dealt a pretty severe blow by a certain free agent. Leading us to...

270. Kevin Durant's Legacy

So as you may or may not have heard, Kevin Durant joined the Golden State Warriors this summer in a decision that loomed above the NBA for months and still shocked everyone out of sheer magnitude. It also created a vicious dichotomy for KD in the Court of Public Opinion; dividing those who harp he took the easy way out, and those who insist he made the best choice for his "legacy".

The reality to a large degree is that Durant did both.

He's put himself in remarkably good position to win multiple titles, and though he's unlikely to snag another MVP, he's right to act in the interest of rings if he wants to be remembered among the all-time greats. And he absolutely does.

Durant saw first hand just how difficult winning a title in a small market is. OKC struck a series of jackpot draft picks unlike any team in recent memory, and still, year after year, ran into either an untimely injury or a historic team. He's hedged his bets accordingly.

But in the process he's set professional basketball in Oklahoma City back a good decade. He's not only leaving a proud franchise he basically birthed from an ugly Seattle exit, but doing so after they came within God inheriting Klay Thompson's body of making the Finals. For the team that beat them.

He's sealed his Thunder's fate among the NBA's all-time 'What If' teams, and probably created a greater philosophical inquiry of his (likely) rings than anyone before him.

245. Phoenix Suns

230. Portland Trailblazers

209. Houston Rockets 
Dwight Howard's departure has to be seen as a net plus. Many metrics pointed to the Rockets being better without him last year, and his pseudo-jovial petulance is a detriment to any team's chemistry.

Meanwhile, they picked up a couple former Pelicans who (when healthy) provide great spacing for James Harden's free-throw forays to the paint. Moreyball may have overpaid for Ryan Anderson, but got reasonable value on Eric Gordon, two guys who fit his system well.

184. Draymond Green's Snapchat Account
Became a powerful source of memes, great parodies and Team USA bonding this summer, if only through unwittingly showing his penis to millions of people.

168. Austin Rivers' Contract
While he continues to be given a healthy leash by having dad as both coach and GM, it says a lot about the state of the NBA offseason that Rivers' 3-year/$35 million deal doesn't seem that ridiculous.

145. Los Angeles Lakers 
As the Lakers' heavy rebuild hits Defcon 2 with the clock whittling away on Jimmy Buss, they've overall had a strong few months. LA's Other Team signed good deals (Luol Deng, Jordan Clarkson) and bad ones (Timofey Mozgov, Yi Jianlian for some reason), but overall take a win on the offseason.

Buss is still a dog to hit his lofty deadline, but the Lakers are now freed from Kobe's oppressive contract, and have a player they can possibly build around in Brandon Ingram. They'll have a decent outlook once someone smarter than Jimmy is spending the money.

115. Memphis Grizzlies

Keeping Mike Conley is massive, and speaks to the loyalty bred from the Grizzlies' culture. And also perhaps that Conley's max under the new cap made him (before LeBron's new deal) the highest-paid player ever.

Gasp-worthy as that may be, it was a victory for the Grizzlies (and small-market franchises) that saved them from a total rebuild in Marc Gasol's prime. It also came as a morality boost after a season in which legions of injuries, and concerns about Robert Pera's ownership style haunted #GNG.

But Memphis also doubled-down and maxed-out Chandler Parsons. While the debate about that expenditure's legitimacy is itself legitimate, Memphis is defiantly refusing to quit. Sure they have virtually no chance of winning a title and will max-out as a 3/4-seed, but they're playing it to the bone. They're the anti-tankers; a refreshing sight in today's NBA.

89. Orlando Magic
So their frontcourt's a little crowded. Adding Serge Ibaka and Bismack Biyombo (more on him in a moment) to the Vucevic/Gordon combo gives Orlando considerable size, depth and the rim protection they've sorely lacked the past few seasons.

The question thus becomes whether the trigger-happy Rob Hennigan is just stockpiling assets for another deal, or actually plans on making this seemingly over-sized rotation work.

71. Philadelphia 76ers
Things are finally, kind of, coming to together for #TheProcess - if only Sam Hinkie were still around to see it:

Philly netted the #1 pick, managed to draft a guy who isn't a center, have an apparently-healthy Joel Embiid, and maintained their mountains of cap room. In fact, the Sixers' biggest concern at this point will be hitting the league's $84 million salary floor next year.

Better yet, with the Nets in utter disarray and no means to better themselves, the Sixers can finally be freed of stigmatization as the NBA's resident eyesore.


63. Joel Embiid
Continues to kill social media, and actually appeared on film playing basketball for the first time in several years.

49. Kent Bazemore
Couldn't have found himself in a better spot, hosting his coming out party over the biggest Contract Year in history, at a time when 3-and-D swingmen are a prime asset in a wing-deprived market.

Bazemore made off huge this summer for a guy who enthusiastically warmed the Warriors' bench 20 months ago, no two ways about it. But of the many sketchy contracts free agents were gifted with this summer, his potential to blossom might be the most realistic.

34. John Leuer
I mean sure, what the hell! 4 years, $42 million! Why not!

29. Solomon Hill

26. The Cleveland Cavaliers
They are the champs and everything, but Golden State just made a power move on them unlike any we've ever seen.

25. Pau Gasol
Getting out of Chicago was enough but landing with the Spurs makes Pau a large winner.


24. DeMarcus Cousins' Trade Odds
The writing has to be on the wall here, with Cousins perpetually perturbed, and the Kings acquiring like 50 centers under an owner who can do literally anything.

The issues of Cousins' petulant demeanor are well-chronicled, but the Nuggets should just ante up, re-unite DMC with Mike Malone, and reap the ensuing benefits.

23. Rasheed Wallace
Everyone knew Dame Lillard would spit nice, but the gully bars that Sheed laid down on the #SoFarGoneChallenge (while driving no less) were one of the summer's best videos.

22. Tristan Thompson
For doing maybe the most Canadian thing ever.

21. Carmelo Anthony
While his team's still not competing for that ever-elusive Finals trip, Melo might've on-the-low sealed his Hall of Fame bid this summer as the first man ever to win three Olympic golds in basketball.

20. Joakim Noah
Had the last two years of his career conveniently ignored by the Knicks during contract offers.

19. Ryan Anderson
He'll fit well in Houston, and 4 yrs/$80 million is very generous for a less-than-healthy one-way gunner whose best years are perhaps behind him.

18. Frank Vogel

17. Kris Dunn

16. Indiana Pacers

Lots of people hated the Vogel departure, despite his inconclusive results with Indiana. He presided
over Pacers teams that both massively over and underachieved, with a clear hallmark of stout defense and offensive deficiency. A Larry Bird team could only suck at scoring for so long.

Jeff Teague, Al Jefferson and Thad Young are all offensive upgrades over their predecessors, and Nate McMillian was likely a good fit as a Vogel replacement. Unless the Pacers' defense completely crumbles without George and Solomon Hill, they'll climb the East standings.

15. Chandler Parsons

14. Utah Jazz
One of the offseason's multi-way winners. They finally found a starting point guard in George Hill; one who won't command the ball too much or be Trey Burke. This still-young squad also benefits from a year of experience, continuity, and one can hope better health.

Count circumstance among the Jazz's fortunes too. With the West in heavy flux below the top-3, Utah could make serious strides up the playoff bracket. Quin Snyder for Coach of the Year; you heard it here first.

13. Ian Mahinmi

12. Pre-Existing Kevin Durant Championship Bets

11. The Summer of JR



10. Bismack Biyombo
Five months ago, Bismack Biyombo was a defensive specialist and capable backup, but a limited offensive game had kept him from seeing heavy minutes. He made $3 million last year.

His impact on the Raptors' shaky second-unit defense was one of their brightest spots this season; one that culminated in the most important playoff run they'd ever embarked on. It was there that Jonas Valanciunas was sidelined, and Biyombo vaulted from on-the-low-bench stud to maybe the breakout player of the 2016 Playoffs. His sublime glass-waxing, elite rim protection and impact energy plays were one of the Raptors' few consistent sparks.

While Biz might've already been in line for a slight raise, his value thus skyrocketed - to 4 yrs/$70 million - due to a very timely injury. Biyombo may have just financially benefited more from a teammate's sidelining than any player in history. Hope he's buying Jonas a car or something.

9. Russell Westbrook

While acting in self-interest and getting the most money, Westbrook is now an Oklahoma folk hero for re-upping after Durant bolted. He also has the team to himself now. While his title odds took a massive hit, he can make perhaps the closest run at Oscar Robertson's triple-double-season mark we've seen yet.

8. Minnesota Timberwolves
Sometimes everything just falls into place for a franchise. Take Minnesota, where the often-frail Wolves have landed back-to-back #1 picks, one of whom is a star in the making, the other is already perhaps the single most valuable long-term asset in the NBA.

With the last two Rookies of the Year in tow, the Wolves now have a serious shot at a third with Kris Dunn, making former PG prodigy Ricky Rubio - their highest-paid player - expendable. Minnesota can now potentially clear even more cap space for the future by dealing Pretty Ricky.

Then of course there's the bench upgrade from Sam Mitchell to Tom Thibodeau, which is like replacing a Hungry Man Salisbury Steak with wagyu ribeye. For a team with such young talent, Thibs will be a great source of knowledge, discipline, experience, and most notably - work ethic.

Already League Pass heavyweights, the Wolves only built upon perhaps the league's brightest future.

7. Timofey Mozgov, Allen Crabbe & Tyler Johnson

There will a be an ESPN 30-for-30 made someday about this year's NBA Offseason. About the oceans of money that were set ablaze in a perfect storm of salary influx and a shallow free agency class. Among the deals of particular note that will be highlighted:

Timofey Mozgov, the once-sought low-post brute who regressed all season, eventually falling completely out of the Cavs' rotation. He now makes $16 million/year, or more than any player in the NHL.

Allen Crabbe, the potential breakout 3-and-D wing whom the Nets inked to a restricted 4-year $74 millon script. Portland swallowed the pill and matched. The Blazers now cutting $18.5 million to a backup wing with career averages of 7/2/1 has helped balloon their payroll to a league-high $119 million.

And Tyler Johnson; inconsistent bench guard, also inked by the Nets to a literally vomit-inducing 4-years, $50 million. Unshaken by the Nets' manic spending spree, Pat Riley opened the coffers and matched the back-loaded deal, which gives Johnson a combined $38.5 million over its final two seasons.

Though the potential to redeem these whale contracts exists, these guys are already being paid beyond the apex of their realistic projections. Huge offseason winners.

6. Mike Conley
Much love as I have for Iron Mike, the fact that a 0-time All-Star spent a brief moment as the highest-paid player in NBA history is simply incredible.

5. Boston Celtics
Landing Al Horford was a significant coup for this precocious bunch of scrappers, consolidating their talent and solving their longtime search for a starting center. More significantly, they managed to do it without going over the cap or giving up any of their asset horde, leaving Danny Ainge plenty of ammo to make another blockbuster move. The Celtics are probably already favorites to nab the East's #2 seed.

4. Hassan Whiteside
Was playing in Lebanon two years ago. Just signed a $98 million contract, and could be a franchise cornerstone with the Wade Era now over.


3. LeBron James
LeBron not only got to revel in the spotlight of the greatest Finals performance ever, but gave himself a record contract. The Warriors have dealt a major blow to his Cavs' repeat odds, but this summer was LeBron's Moment in a career littered with so many LeBron Moments.

His career path - "legacy" if you will - isn't hurt that much by the Durant signing either way. If the Warriors beat him in the Finals rubber-match only injury can derail, they had to assemble arguably the greatest team ever to do so. If LeBron somehow emerges from this with another ring though, that's serious G.O.A.T material.

2. Harrison Barnes

I thought the notion of giving Barnes a max deal was incredulous before he came out and projectile vomited all over the Warriors' failed title defense; the kind of gaffe that normally costs a player millions in a contract year.

Mark Cuban knows things about investments that I don't, but the metrics suggest Barnes is overrated as is without the added expectation amid much worse surroundings. Even in an offseason of financial anarchy, how Barnes made off with this much money is unsustainable and sickening.

1. Golden State Warriors
It's still kind of hard to fathom. A team winning 73 games one year, then acquiring likely the 3rd-best player in the NBA for fifteen cents on the dollar.

The Warriors are going to be a terrifying offensive machine that will rack up the easiest buckets we've ever seen against any non-elite defense. It's going to be insulting how routine they'll make it look.


The Death Lineup just became exponentially scarier, with Durant's lethal scoring replacing Barnes' inconsistent shooting, and his length enabling him to cover even more space and bigger bodies on D. Getting Zaza Pachulia on the cheap was great Bogut insurance; with veterans riding them in every-trendy ring hunts (David West really making Ray Allen eat his words) they can fill out a bench to complement the best 7-man rotation ever.

Dub Nation is now very short on rim protection, but that seems trivial in the scope of what's just happened. This team is going to be fucking impossible to defend. It's supremely unlikely they go for a new wins record after last year's playoff semi-burnout, but we're about to witness devastation on a mass level.

Banter's 2015-16 NBA Awards

With the regular season running on fumes and all but one playoff spot decided, now seems like a pretty safe time to roll out my selections for this season's NBA hardware; before I read a bunch of analysts' picks and have my objectivity poisoned by groupthink.

This year's awards offered contests from every end of the spectrum: a few very competitive battles, an impasse of reluctant mediocrity, and two outright romps. So who takes home the hardware? Envelopes please...

All Rookie Teams:
First- G-D'Angelo Russell, G-Devin Booker, F-Kristaps Porgingis, F-Jahlil Okafor, C- Karl-Anthony Towns
Second: G-Emmanuel Mudiay, G-Jonathon Simmons, F-Justise Winslow, F-Myles Turner, C- Nikola Jokic

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: KARL-ANTHONY TOWNS
The ROY race started off as an intriguing three-headed argument that Towns eventually left in his dust. While Kristaps Porzingis could've easily taken it most seasons, Towns was nothing short of historic. He beasted through Sam Mitchell's stubborn refusal to play him more than 30 mpg most of the season, putting up per-36 numbers frighteningly similar to Tim Duncan's landmark rookie year, only demonstrating greater range and athleticism.

It's very seldom that you can watch a guy play for one season and say "If he doesn't get hurt, he's going to be a Hall of Famer". You can with Towns. This should be unanimous, even among what's shaping up to be a rookie class for the ages.
Regards To: Kristaps Porzingis, Jahlil Okafor, Nikola Jokic

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER: CJ MCCOLLUM
This award was a doozy, with a bunch of guys putting up monster years in MIP context. Jae Crowder came somewhat out of left field, becoming one of the NBA's most coveted 3-&-D guys. Draymond Green doubled down on last year's 2nd-place Most Improved finish, taking another, bolder, leap to MVP candidate and statistical unicorn. Speaking of MVPs and 2nd place, that's very likely where Steph Curry will wind up in this year's voting, escalating his dominance to a realm beyond our familiarity.

Those cases notwithstanding, McCollum's all-around explosion is just too much to ignore, regardless of his increased minutes or opportunity. The leap he made in scoring itself - from 7 to 21 ppg - is seismic enough that only a single player (Dale Ellis) has eclipsed it in the MIP's thirty-year history. Then also consider McCollum's doubled his steals, doubled his rebounds, and quadrupled his assists, while improving his shooting across the board. The Blazers' supremely unlikely run to the playoffs is another feather in his cap, and rounds out one of the most compelling Most Improved arguments we've ever seen.
Regards To: Stephen Curry, Draymond Green, Jae Crowder

SIXTH MAN OF THE YEAR: EVAN TURNER

A year of "What-Ifs" for this award. The only reason there's a discussion at all is because Hassan Whiteside is ineligible by a slim margin. Then there was Jrue Holiday, who was brilliant when healthy, but seldom healthy. Zach Randolph was an emerging candidate, but Memphis' injury onslaught ruined his bid. Enes Kanter put up an astonishing top-10 PER season, but I can't in good conscience disregard that he also ranked 446th in defensive real plus-minus.

Nobody really screams "winner" this year. My desperate search for a worthy 6MOY came down to five players: Jeremy Lin, Jamal Crawford, Ryan Anderson, Evan Turner and Will Barton; none of whom had stellar seasons, but any of whom could realistically win this award.

My vote goes to Turner by the narrowest of margins, for his all-around impact and feisty two-way play on one of this season's more deserving teams.
Regards To: Will Barton, Ryan Anderson, Jamal Crawford

COACH OF THE YEAR: BRAD STEVENS
This award was way too close to call this year, with so many coaches putting up very compelling arguments: Gregg Popovich steered the Spurs on a historic pace with a new identity. Terry Stotts shockingly jump-started Portland's rebuild by two or three years. Dave Joerger weathered a historic number of injuries to lead Memphis into the playoffs with a D-League roster. Rick Carlisle kept the Mavs competitive with a plethora of factors stacked against him. Dwane Casey made the most of his defensive upgrades, presiding over the Raptors' unlikely Best Season Ever. And if one person had coached the Warriors for the whole season, we wouldn't even be having this debate.

Stevens grabs the COY nod for two reasons: The first being, simply, he's the total package as a coach. He's an X's and O's ace, who's relentlessly creative with lineups and who players like and play hard for. The second is that, unlike so many others, his success has come with a team that wasn't really built to win. Boston's current state is very much that of a rebuild; a franchise stockpiling assets and playing up the trade value of guys who don't necessarily fit together or into the Celtics' long-term plans. Stevens is just too good for his team to tank through the motions, though I doubt many Boston fans will mind.
Regards To: Terry Stotts, Gregg Popovich, Dave Jeorger

All-Defense Teams:
First: G-Kyle Lowry, G-Chris Paul, F-Kawhi Leonard, F-Draymond Green, C-Rudy Gobert
Second: G-Tony Allen, G-Jimmy Butler, F-Paul George, F-Paul Millsap, C-Hassan Whiteside

DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR: KAWHI LEONARD
I'm no stranger to the concept of selective plays in fantasy basketball, but never before have I just benched players all season against a particular opponent in outright fear. That's more or less what happened this year with Leonard, and it played very seldom to my regret.

Draymond Green deserves a lot of credit for punishing anyone who entered his realm, and making the DPOY a tough call for the second year in a row. But Leonard is just too consistent; too automatic.

Picking one over the other statistically is splitting hairs; Green and Leonard are both among the league leaders in key defensive metrics, with each holding an edge. Draymond's intensity and versatility on D give him a leg up, but Kawhi ultimately lands a haymaker case as the resident stopper on a team that completely pummeled the NBA defensively this year. Another very close call between these two.
Regards To: Draymond Green, Rudy Gobert, Kyle Lowry

All-NBA Teams:
First: G-Stephen Curry, G-Chris Paul, F-LeBron James, F-Kawhi Leonard, C-DeMarcus Cousins
Second: G-Russell Westbrook, G-Kyle Lowry, F-Kevin Durant, F-Draymond Green, C- Anthony Davis
Third: G-Damian Lillard, G-James Harden, F-Paul George, F-Paul Millsap, C-Andre Drummond

MOST VALUABLE PLAYER: STEPHEN CURRY

You were expecting Ty Lawson?

This was in the bag months ago. What Curry did to the NBA this year was ruthless and unfair; dominating at an unheard-of rate, displaying unseen range and handles, breaking records about as casually as (in)humanly possible.

Even more so than Towns' ROY win, Curry's should be unanimous here; he was the best player in the NBA this year beyond any reasonable doubt, and hopefully the ballots will reflect as such. To any "voter" that disagrees and tries to weave a biased dissenting narrative, please hand in your press pass.
Regards To: Kawhi Leonard, LeBron James, Chris Paul 

Stephen Curry and the Defiance of Adjectives

It escapes words.

Sure the usual hyperbolic descriptions fit: "unbelievable", "extraordinary", "transcendent".

But an attempt to verbally illustrate what Stephen Curry did to the Oklahoma City Thunder last night - and is doing to the NBA in general right now - is to presume that we've seen something like this before and thus have words to accurately portray it. We don't.

It's tough, almost futile, to write this piece. My mind is still warped and coming to terms with the real-life NBA Jam game we watched last night, and attempting to do something I'm openly admitting shouldn't be possible. Maybe it's best to let his play speak for itself...

But just getting your head around it all seems difficult, like we just witnessed a glitch in reality. It had to have happened though; it couldn't have been made up. If last night's script landed on a Hollywood exec's desk, it would be laughed out the door as too far-fetched.

The stage couldn't have been set up better: The Warriors were on a record-setting pace after 50 games; where every loss mattered. They were in tough, down double-digits on the road against one of the few teams who could truly challenge them. Not only were they were weary - having not played a home game in three weeks - but to make matters worse, their emotional lynchpin (and 2nd-best player) lost his shit at halftime and stopped shooting.

Curry proceeded to roll his ankle mid 3rd-quarter, and had Russell Westbrook land on it a second later. It was a scary moment that left anyone familiar with Curry's ankle history feeling uneasy. Then the MVP played it out as no screenwriter could've contrived:

He came back limping noticeably, but began draining a barrage of comically absurd three-pointers, toying with defenders; equal parts jovial playground artist and Leon The Professional as he clawed into - and eventually overtook - the Thunder's lead. After absorbing his reality-altering performance, so many things stick with me, but don't even resonate the most:

See, it's not that Curry dropped 31 points after returning, draining attempt after attempt that would've had any other player in the World instantly yanked.

It's not that he led a dramatic comeback on the road; one that would've been over in regulation if Golden State hadn't missed about 47 Curry-created open layups in the 2nd half.

It's not even that he happened to tie an all-time record for threes in a game, or broke his own record for threes in a season with 24 games still to play.

And somehow it isn't that he hit the ballsiest game-winner in NBA history; not calling the available timeout, casually jogging upcourt and pulling up from the fringe of OKC's midcourt logo with almost 3 seconds left on the clock (note that the game was tied).

It's that none of this should really surprise us.

Curry has specialized in the indescribable to such an extent this year that this doesn't really come as a huge shock, absurd as that may sound.

We've been spoiled. We've gotten too used to these Human Torch antics: lobbing attempts at the net like red shells in Mario Kart, scoring 20 points in 5 mins on 7 shots or whatever, casually canning jumpers from halfcourt and beyond with unseen routineness.

Especially now, coming off games of 36. 42 and 51 points; on a destructive path in the wake of a new round of misguided criticisms from former players. Curry claims to find the commentary "annoying", but it clearly fuels a fire in him, one we should all hope continues to be fed if it produces explosions like this.

Stephen Curry is revolutionizing basketball; there's no other way to put it. Maybe we'll eventually figure out how to properly describe it, but for now we should be content with just seeing what he'll do next.

The Best Dunk Contest Ever.

I figured I should cut to the chase here and let title speak for itself. 

Apologies to Mike and 'Nique. Too bad for Vince and the No-Contest in Oakland.

The circus that Zach LaVine and Aaron Gordon just put on was the most innovative, thrilling and generally jaw-dropping display in the history of NBA All-Star Weekend. Regardless of Will Barton and Andre Drummond's somewhat-likely flameouts, this was always going to be a two-man show that the league smartly set up by pitting the reigning champ and possible Dunk Contest GOAT against a guy with well-documented past exploits.

Even the most naive optimists couldn't have fathomed the level on which LaVine and Gordon delivered; the script they wrote tonight was too ridiculous for anyone else to conceive. We actually watched a guy pass the ball underneath both his legs while jumping over his mascot's head. And he didn't win.

It's the boundless creativity that separated this contest from the hallowed Wilkins/Jordan showdowns of the 80s. Back then, the surface of contest dunking was only being scratched and it wasn't that tough for transcendent athletes like those guys to deliver something we'd never seen. But there's really only so much a guy can do with a ball in mid-air while also slamming it into a ten-foot hoop. A lack of creative progress crippled the Dunk Contest for years; most forays into new dunking realms ended with a painful blooper reel of botched attempts.

The Lavine & Gordon Show constantly pushed the envelope though; time after time delivering not only never-before-seen dunks, but ones that were put down crisply on the first or second attempt while the anticipation was still peaking. Despite Shaq's stingy judging, there were more 50's being thrown up than a circa-2004 G Unit song. Andrew Wiggins looked like he'd just watched a

cherished pet get hit by a car.

Their efforts were so insane that determining a winner took double overtime, for which both competitors somehow had extra shells in the chamber after their imaginative plans unfolded. While LaVine ultimately took the crown, Gordon matched - and perhaps surpassed - him dunk-for-dunk throughout, assisted by Stuff the Magic Dragon, easily the NBA's best-named mascot, and now also the runaway best cameo ever in the Dunk Contest.

It's easy to say that Gordon was robbed - as plenty about the internet have done in the half-day since. His energy was boundless, his creativity was limitless, his execution was spot-on, and his head was quite literally above the fucking rim on most of his dunks. What he did last night would've toppled just about any dunker in the contest's history.

But perhaps the lone exception is LaVine. He's an absolute zenith of contest dunking. The boundaries

of possibility that he stretches so casually are changing the game. As Kenny Smith pointed out last night, it used to be a big deal when Dr. J or Mike dunked from the free-throw line, but LaVine just used their iconic moment as an easel: I'll catch an alley-oop from there. Then I'll windmill. Next I'll put the put the ball through my legs from a step inside it. And act all "no biggie" while my teammates spaz out like 4-year-olds at a bouncy castle.

Last night not only brought the Dunk Contest "back" but injected an aggressive HGH schedule into its veins. Any of the rumblings that the 3-Point Shootout becoming All-Star Saturday's main card were viciously gunned down. It was a thrilling back-and-forth joust, a legendary game of "Can You Top This?", and may even be guilty of setting the bar too high for the future.

LaVine, Gordon, and the NBA really outdid themselves last night. There's lots of superlatives to lace the events with, but the result is simple: the league has never seen a better Dunk Contest.

Banter's 2016 All-Stars

All-Star voting. Don't get me started.

Whatever, too late. The whole process is backwards; starting with the fan voting. It's a popularity contest, which at the same time is used as a highly-touted yardstick when measuring a player's legacy and/or Hall-of-Fame credentials. The sometimes-quizzical coaches do a by-and-large better job of putting the right guys on the bench, but even they are subject to bias and error.

The NBA made a nice adjustment a few years back, eliminating the forced "Center" position to reflect the increasingly perimeter-oriented nature of the game. But even that measure has left out many deserving players, with more All-Star caliber guards than the NBA has ever seen.

Put simply, there's fewer All-Star spots available to the positions with the most talent. A "Perimeter"/"Frontcourt" designation with more spots allocated to the former would make a logical next step for wing players- we live in a world where Kobe Bryant was somehow just voted in as a Forward.

While the coaches did a mostly solid job of mopping up the mess left by the starters' voting, let's wipe the slate clean and travel to an alternate universe where I decide the All-Stars because I'm clearly smarter than every NBA coach, and the millions of fans who cast votes.

Using an abstractly weighted assessment of the player's overall season (Personal Performance x Team Success), I've come up with the 24 guys who truly deserve to be repping the title "All-Star" this season; the guys who have defined the season with outstanding play. Here are Banter's 2016 All-Star picks:

EAST STARTERS

G - Kyle Lowry

Lowry was already an elite two-way PG, but over the summer he lost a visible amount of weight and has thus attacked this season with the voracity of his former self at In-N-Out. Still an aggressive bull on both ends, Lowry's now a step quicker, and possesses greater bounce. It's translated to him averaging career-highs in (points+assists), rebounds, and steals - the latter of which he sits 2nd in the league.

Meanwhile the Raptors have somewhat-surprisingly been perhaps the East's steadiest team this year, and the only ones really threatening Cleveland's #1 seed. Canadian fans pulled a last-ditch rally to bump Lowry into the starting lineup for the 2nd straight year, and there's no question this time it was deserved.

G - Jimmy Butler
Much like Lowry, Butler's a menace on both ends of the court for one of the conference's best teams. While the Bulls have had some periods of adjustment through a new coach and their usual boatload of injuries, Jimmy's been a monstrous presence, carrying Chicago offensively for stretches and willing them to wins by himself on several occasions.

Unfortunately it's doesn't look like the Windy City has enough huff & puff to challenge Cleveland in the East this year, but even with John Wall's recent rampage of box score destruction, Butler's been the better season-long player for a top-3 team, making this spot his.

F- LeBron James
25/7/6, with a combined 2 steals/blocks per game would be a banner year for 99.9% of the NBA. For LeBron, it's become routine, beyond the point of being taken for granted. The Cavs have coasted to the #1 spot, even through chemistry issues, injuries and unforeseen coach-firings, and LeBron's pretty much been LeBron; as automatic an All-Star starter as has existed in the NBA.

F- Paul George
Both the Pacers and George have cooled off slightly after completely scintillating starts to the season, but in a conference somewhat light on compelling cases for starters, PG is a total no-brainer. He's rebounded from his injury-porn broken leg to have his best year statistically so far.

Moreover the Pacers have been pleasantly competitive over a first half marred by injuries and large doses of unfamiliarity on a mostly-flipped roster. Even if they'd slid outside the playoff bracket, George would still be a must-start.

F - Paul Millsap
Lost in the usual rhetoric about the Hawks' team play and their slight stumble in the East standings is that Millsap is having an absolute monster of a season. Already one of the NBA's most versatile players, he's currently averaging career highs in all five of the major statistical categories. He sits top-10 in steals, top-20 and blocks and rebounds, and top-30 in scoring. Millsap's brilliance has been subtle (aside from this vicious assault on John Henson) and unheralded, but he rounds out a fairly obvious East frontcourt. #SmallBall.

EAST BENCH

G - John Wall
Has been playing the best ball of his career over the past six weeks. Even with the Wizards decimated by injury and performing well below par, he needs to be here.

G - Demar DeRozan
DeRozan's smoothly transitioned from a mid-range gunner to a relentless attacker who shoots the third-most free throws in the NBA. He's top-ten scorer on a top-two team, making it very hard not to give the host Raptors a 2nd All-Star.

F - Carmelo Anthony
Melo has been getting jerked off a lot lately for trusting his teammates, trying on defense, and more or less playing the way everyone's been wishing he would for a decade now. Regardless, the Knicks are far less of a laughing stock, so Anthony's All-Star stock has risen as well.

F - Chris Bosh
Not that the Heat "need" an All-Star by any logical stretch, but both Bosh and Dwyane Wade (who's been remarkably durable this year) carry decent cases for bench spots. In the end, the Boshtrich gets the nod, largely due to having more potential roster spots and less competition.

F - Andre Drummond
If you can stomach the absolutely abhorrent free-throw shooting, Drummond's a destructive force that's cleared a path for Detroit's seemingly likely return to the playoffs. Hasn't dropped as many 20/20s lately, but still has left a large crater in this season.

WC - Isaiah Thomas
The first Wild Card spot goes to Thomas, who's having a borderline-dominant offensive season as the heartbeat of the wily, cagey Celtics, who thanks to the new division champs rules, are a game back of homecourt in the East.

WC - Pau Gasol
This spot comes down to a bunch of guys with somewhat-compelling cases. I changed my mind 2 or 3 times and went with Pau, still putting gaudy numbers on the board for a top-3 team, which none of the guys below can really front on.

REGARDS TO: Kemba Walker, Al Horford, Reggie Jackson, Dwyane Wade, Nicolas Batum, Kevin Love

WEST STARTERS

G - Stephen Curry
Duh.

G - Russell Westbrook
Westbrook's been a supremely destructive force on box scores and defenders alike, offset only slightly by Kevin Durant's return to health. Russ sits 7th in scoring and 2nd in assists, accounting for more raw offensive output than anyone but Chef Curry. For good measure, he also leads all guards in rebounding, and the entire league in steals.

Westbrook's relentlessly undying energy is a perpetual force of nature on the basketball court. You can expect the reigning All-Star MVP to put up a solid title defense, simply because he doesn't understand the meaning of "not trying".

F - Kevin Durant
It hasn't taken long for the Slim Reaper to slay all that preseason fretting about his foot and the total hatchet job OKC's medical staff pulled on it last year. Playing slightly fewer minutes than seasons past, his output is par for the Durant course, among the league's scoring leaders, shooting dangerously close to 50/40/90. Welcome back KD.

F - Kawhi Leonard

That season we were all waiting for, when Timmy, Tony and Manu finally turned the reigns over and Kawhi Leonard was fully unleashed, is happening. Not only is he continuing to wreak utter havoc on the defensive end, he's dropping a career-high 20/game on arguably the most efficient-shooting season in NBA history. Not even LaMarcus Aldridge's arrival has been enough to offset the assertion that it's Leonard Time.

F- Draymond Green
You have to love Draymond Green. He backs up every single brash and/or boisterous statement he makes with a pure embodiment of (sorry, Grizzlies) Grit and Grind. This guy isn't a transcendent athlete, he wasn't blessed with any otherwordly talents (like, say one of his teammates). He's just a very smart basketball player who hustles on every play and has busted his ass over the past 18 months to expand his game.

As a result, you'd be very hard-pressed to name a more versatile player in the league, such that he's averaging numbers nobody has since Grant Hill 19 years ago. To boot, Dr. Dray kicks in almost 3 steals/blocks per game, while capably guarding as wide a range of opponents as anyone. Curry may be the Warriors' best player, but Green is their heart, hustle, and a borderline MVP candidate himself.


WEST BENCH

G - Chris Paul
The Clippers were a sinking ship in November, but Paul's return to full health has sparked a dramatic resurgence in Blake Griffin's absence. They're back in the top-4, largely due to CP3's dominance on both ends.

(side note: I single out "CP3" as one of two examples of those dumb, once-trendy initial-to-number nicknames that should be used. The monosyllabic rhyme-rattle just works too well. The other is CB4, which is probably the coolest thing Chris Bosh has ever initiated, even if unwittingly.

G - James Harden
Houston's been a pretty big disappointment this year, but Harden's been a beast. You can only penalize a guy so much for his team, and there's no denying The Beard belongs. He's still putting up LeBron-esque numbers, so book his ticket.

F - Dirk Nowitzki
The Mavs aren't quite a team that demands an All-Star, but their unexpected status as mortal locks for the West playoffs is noteworthy, as is Dirk's refusal to quit leading a competitive team. This isn't a "Legacy Nod" like the fans gave Kobe, this is a "Still Got It" nod.

F - Anthony Davis
The Pels have been bit by the injury bug, the inconsistency bug, and the "All our Centers Suck" bug, but Davis is doing what he can. He hasn't yet displayed the growth many had hoped for this year, but the player he already was is really fucking good.

F- DeMarcus Cousins
Another West star who started the season in an injury-mired funk, Cousins has been Godzilla on the block this month, averaging an absurd 34 & 14 on 61% True Shooting. The Kings are also fighting for a suddenly-available playoff spot, making the All-Star game an official Boogie Nights production.

WC - Klay Thompson
The competition for the final two spots here was a lot fiercer than in the East, but Klay seems like a relatively easy pick. His numbers have dipped ever-so-slightly with Curry in GodMode, but Golden State might be the best team in history, so, you know...

WC - Damian Lillard
Finally there's the often slept-on Damian Lillard, who's been putting up outrageous numbers for a Portland team that maybe five people on Earth thought would fight for the playoffs this year. Even if he's a crappy defender, he's a destructive offensive player whose team's highly-unlikely 'success' propels his case.

Regards To: Marc Gasol, LaMarcus Aldridge, DeAndre Jordan Gordon Hayward, Rajon Rondo