Recognize: The All-Decade Team

So the first decade of this new millennium's almost in the books. In a couple weeks we'll be ringing in not only a new year but a new era of sorts; history tends to divide decades; identifying each by the trends that defined them. The 2000's were plagued by constraint and censorship as the NBA weathered a pair of economic meltdowns, a referee gambling debacle, and increasing tension with the Players' Union. Ten years ago we would've laughed at the notion of a league-wide dress code, welcomed a brave high-schooler into the League and assumed the Malice at the Palace had something to do with Bill Laimbeer. But there was plenty more we didn't know. We had no idea who Lebron James was, that MJ had a third run in him, or the critical importance Eagle, Colorado would come to play in Kobe's Bryant's life. We hadn't seen the Lakers' heroics, the Spurs' monotony or most of Vince Carter's Greatest Hits. Yao Ming was an indie flick at some foreign film festival, the proper spelling was DwaYne, and 'Impossible is Nothing' was a cynical thought buried deep in Kevin Garnett's subconscious. Yup, the NBA's a different place; we've seen the game go global and its players are showcasing their awesome talent on an ever-expanding audience. Which is the one of the few things that's remained about the League, and always will: the sheer brilliance of basketball's elite. So before we jump into a new decade and the change it'll bring, here's a toast to the guys who really did it proper over the past ten years; the All-Decade Team.

STARTERS
Point Guard - Steve Nash, Dallas Mavericks/Phoenix Suns
Among the many other things we didn't see coming back in 2000 was a skinny, 6-foot, soccer playing white guy from Canada winning two MVPs. Nash was the medium through which Mike D'Antoni ushered in his 7 Seconds or Less brand of entertaining basketball, and he revolutionized the one spot. His unique passing ability and lethal shooting were ideal for an offense that thrived on fast-breaking, pick and rolls and habitually itchy trigger fingers. While his defense was never World-class (or even NBA-class in some minds), his impact on the high-octane Dallas and Phoenix squads he manned this decade was undeniable, and gives him the starting nod by a hair over Jason Kidd.

Shooting Guard - Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers
Arguably the most impressive individual in the League over the past ten years, we watched Bryant struggle with superstardom the most, but also win regular season and Finals MVP awards, annual All-Star, All-Defense and All-NBA recognition, not to mention four rings. Along the way, he re-wrote scoring records, truly meriting those inevitable and inescapable Jordan comparisons he faced for years. The 45+ streak. The 81. The countless hearts he shattered at the buzzer against all odds, over and over. Much tumult bruised his early career, but Bryant's finally found what he was looking for; he's the man on the best team in the League, and that he's ever played on. Believe his legacy won't end with this decade.

Small Forward - Lebron James, Cleveland Cavaliers

Even before he arrived on the scene, James was the man. The hype surrounding this kid was unfathomable, but despite Rider-high expectations, he managed to exceed them time after time. At a point where most high-school draftees are still gathering dust on benches, Bron was dragging Tayshaun-thin Cavs squads to deep playoff runs and making 28/7/7 seem mundane. The sad reality is that there's little he'll be able to impress us in the regular season at this point; once his playoff heroics are aptly complemented by the guys around him, he'll take his place among the game's All-Time greats. While we're just Witnessing the cusp of his greatness, what he's accomplished so far makes him a no-brainer for this spot.

Power Forward - Tim Duncan, San Antonio Spurs
Timmy D's always walked softly -never the loudest or flashiest guy around- but carries a rather large proverbial stick; over the past ten years he's established himself as the greatest power forward in the game's history. His methodical dominance was a walking embodiment of James Naismith's vision; a game so textbook, so flawless, that age, injury and countless lineup changes haven't phased his brilliance. Three of four titles, two MVPs, All-Everything All-Day. Even if he bored us all through the 2000's, he's in a class by himself.

Center- Shaquille O'Neal, Los Angeles Lakers/Miami Heat (...Phoenix Suns/Cleveland Cavaliers) In a decade that seriously contrasted the 90s' big-man dominance (making All-Stars out of Dale and Antonio Davis, Jamaal Magliore and Zydrunas Ilgauskas) Diesel's credentials easily stand out as the best among centers. Although he's spent most of the past few years buried in indifference and calories, the early 2000's Shaq was a force the League hasn't and likely won't see the likes of for some time. He re-defined unguardable, leading LA to a three-peat while feuding with Kobe and enduring a barrage of Hack-a-Shaq; basketball's version of the below-the-belt-blow. Though he was never a prolific foul shooter, O'Neal was a dominant scorer, rebounder and shot-blocker and severely underrated passer who imposed upon the post like none before.

BENCH
Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat

Flash has managed to match Lebron's lofty career arc almost step for step, putting up retarded numbers year after year, and hauling Miami on his back for an unlikely title run in 2006.

Jason Kidd, New Jersey Nets/Phoenix Suns/Dallas Mavericks

The best all-around point guard of our era, Kidd nearly copped a couple MVPs and led the Nets to two Finals appearances. His jumper and defense were scrutinized, but Kidd spent years as the L's most coveted quarterback.

Allen Iverson, Philadelphia 76ers/Denver Nuggets/Memphis Grizzlies?

While his teams struggled to complement him with functional surroundings, Iverson was an unstoppable scorer and pesky defender who dragged Philly to the Finals in his MVP '01 season, but stands as the player who's accomplished the least team success on this squad.

Kevin Garnett, Minnesota Timberwolves/Boston Celtics
KG's dominant all-around game through years of mediocrity in Minnesota cemented him a spot on this team long before his arrival in Boston finally brought a title and the completion of a Hall of Fame legacy.

Paul Pierce, Boston Celtics
Pierce spent years as a criminally underrated star in Boston; much like Garnett in Minny he was surrounded by talent that betrayed his champion potential, until the two joined forces and brought a 17th title to Beantown.

Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks

As much as I hate conceding it, Dirk has to be here. He brought a new and often-imitated dimension to a 7-footer's game, winning and MVP* and leading the Mavs deep into the playoffs more often than not.

Ben Wallace, Detroit Pistons (I'm ignoring the rest)

Although devoid of any offensive skill, Big Ben was the scariest mother-fucker and best defender in the League for the first half of the decade. His years as a bathtub plug in Chicago and Cleveland aside, he's a marginal choice over a dude who can hardly play 50 games a year.

All-Snub Team: Chauncey Billups, Vince Carter, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Webber, Yao Ming

"What do you get someone who has it all?"

'Twas long, long ago in a far away land, God (allegedly) sent a Son to live amongst man. Many years later, we celebrate and remember the birth of Christ every 25th of December. It's once again that time of year, when Christmas comes with all its cheer; carols are sung, and malls are packed, bells get rung and presents wrapped. Santa brings gifts to the good girls and boys, though NBA players can still enjoy toys. Some have been naughty and some have nice, either way, here's some last-minute Christmas advice:

For Chris Paul: a Slam Man, roll of tape, and pictures of New Orleans' roster. The Hornets are so devoid of the type of offensive arsenal the league's best PG needs to operate. Hopefully this'll help him take out some of the frustration that mounts every time he busts his ass to create a wasted shot for Peja.

For Greg Oden: Operation. Not only will it help him pass the time while he's on the shelf for the forseeable future, G.O. could use some positive motivation at this point in his career, and the Operation dude's about the only person who can make Oden look healthy by comparison.

...and on that note, for the Blazers: a Ouiji Board, so that they might make contact with the evil spirit that feels the need to cripple every potential franchise center they draft, and ask him to knock it off.

For Vinnie Del Negro: a pound of the finest kush you can get south of the border. He'll have a lot of free time pretty soon.

For Derek Fisher: one of those memory-erasing thingys from Men In Black.

For the LA Lakers: a set of Nerf guns and targets. With Pau two weeks off an injury and already complaining about a lack of touches, it's clear that there won't be enough shots on the court to please all their trigger-happy stars.

For Brandon Jennings: a sumo suit, to cushion the blow when he inevitably charges full-on into the Rookie Wall.

For The New Jersey Nets: an extensive arts and crafts set. After a historically abysmal start to the season, the Nets' young and lacking roster could use some wholesome distraction where nobody ever loses.

For the Toronto Raptors

For Antoine Walker: Monopoly Jr. Given the prolonged problems between 'Toine's real estate company and the city of Chicago, sounds like dude could use a more elementary lesson in property management. Then again, having a bunch of fake money to throw around might plant the wrong seed in his mind.

For the Cleveland Cavaliers: a fitting metaphor for the rest of their season.

And finally, for Tim Donaghy: With hope, it will consume his life and we won't have to hear from him anymore.

Stuck in the Woods

This past week, the NBA took a back seat in the mind of sports fans and the general population. Headlines on just about every website, newpaper and gossip-fueled TV show were covering all angles of one man's unfortunate personal collapse, which quickly became a public good. While nothing stirs our intrigue like controversy, it didn't help this man's cause that he was considered by some the most dominant athlete in history. Tiger Woods fucked up; an alleged infidelity led to a fight with his wife and mother of two children, climaxing in Eldrick crashing his (presumably) Buick near his home.
Since then, anyone with even a vague interest in sports or a pop culture pulse has been bombarded with story after story about Tiger's private life and affairs. Stuff that's absolutely none of our business is being shoved in our faces like those lame Twilight movies, forcing an incredible talent into retreat. Mr. Woods is on a downswing of sorts; he's taking an indefinite leave from the PGA tour, his ads are being pulled, his reputation - once an unscathed marvel of celebrity status - is on the rocks like Johnnie Walker. His play of late, while still world-class, seemed unfocused, short of his omnipotent self; perhaps telling of what was privately unfolding. Now that the shit's finally hit the fan, Tiger Woods will never be the same to us. Which is kind of a bum deal.
Sure, there are certain inherent risks with being a professional athlete, let alone a star, let alone the richest and most successful one on the planet. You'll be graded on a curve; publicized and scrutinized more than most. An awkwardly large mass of the general public loves living vicariously through celebrity news; the bigger the star, the bigger the deal. If this had happened to Steven Ames, then nobody would've given a shit; some golfer would've just drifted off the scene to little fanfare. Instead, we get the Story of the Year, built upon a man's very natural mishaps.
See the truth is that Tiger Woods very rarely makes mistakes. He lives his life under the microscope of mass media, and while he's enjoyed wealth that most of us can't even conceive, he has his share of issues and natural flaws like all of us. The thing about Tiger's that he's harnessed those flaws; focused himself on unprecedented excellence, both on and off the golf course. That he's lived his life under such intense public exposure from such a young age (think a less extreme version of MJ) makes it all the more incredible that its taken this long for him to falter. It's telling and disturbing that consequently, we as a society we feel the need to not only deny him forgiveness, but exploit his personal tragedy.
The morality of Tiger Woods' alleged actions is debatable, but in the whole scheme of things, irrelevant. If he really did do what we all seem to think he did, we're not ones to judge. Instead of frowning upon his indiscretions, which every mouth with a soapbox to stand on has seen fit to do, we should be shaming ourselves. Tiger Woods is to be celebrated, not bashed. He defied sports' sturdiest racial barrier; the only one that still stood in the 1990's, and re-defined dominance, bringing and Ali-esque competitive flair to a sport as mundane as golf. For over a decade, we've been entertained by his exploits, bought golf clubs, watches and razors 'cause he told us to, and been inspired by his trascendant brilliance. Now, every media outlet that's for years profited from covering his heroics, is tearing him apart the first chance they get, fueled by this public demand for celebrity controversy. "Nobody's Perfect", it's one of the tritest sayings around, but also one of the most honest, and its applies here perfectly. We could use a reminder that a man's personal matters are just that; personal. We've all screwed up, done something shameful and potentially embarassing; in a similar situation, we'd all want the utmost privacy, while a number of us get off on another man's pain.

To err is to be human. And although today's celebrity-obsessed society tends to neglect this truth, Tiger Woods is still a human being. Humans, by nature, screw up occasionally, but it's hypocritical for us to create a media soap opera out of his marriage; a very sensitive issue. The past week's Woodsgate inundation was even sadder than the situation it's all based on. Society at large needs to fuck off give the man some space to deal with an important, personal, situation. Just because he's such a part of our lives doesn't mean he shouldn't get the chance to live his.

The Donaghy Chronicles: Episode 283

Long after David Stern and any optimistic basketball fan would've hoped he'd have faded from our collective consciences, Tim Donaghy still lingers as a threat to the integrity of the NBA. Apparently he's got a book now, which names names and points fingers, painting a detailed picture of corrupt officiating rooted in gambling and personal prejudice. Along with the book's release came the requisite media tour, and in a recent interview with ESPN's Mark Schwarz, Donaghy sheds more light on the alleged crookedness than we ever saw during his investigation and trial: (the following are direct quotes from the former ref)

When asked which of the major pro sports is most easily manipulated by referees:
"I don't think there's any doubt that it's basketball...because of the subjectivity of the calls and the ability given to the top referees...and the fact is that they're not held accountable for the calls on the court."

Okay, this much we know. The NBA's senior refs have been accused of favored officiating by conspiracy (conSpuracy?) theorists for years. Donaghy's absolutely right that the refs aren't held accountable; the officiating in varies too wildly in this league and only in overt, game-deciding measures will the front office ever come out and say the refs fucked something up. This results in unpredictable play and the "subjectivity" Donaghy speaks of; it's not fair to players or fans (I won't even start on the gamblers) that the Sternbot's cronies leave so much autonomy to the crews that work each game.

When asked how often games' outcomes are being affected by officiating:
"...On a nightly basis the games were changed" "Most of it was subtle, but there were situations where...those subtle changes evolved into something very drastic."

How drastic? Well we already know TD bet on games that he officiated, making many thousands of dollars (and countless sums for his mob affiliates) by fudging questionable calls and technical fouls that influenced the spread of close games. But, like an ...It Was Written track, it gets deeper...

"For example (in 2007)...Allen Iverson threatened one of our top referees...the group of officials was upset that he was only fined and not suspended...we came to the conclusion that we were gonna do a little justice of our own and strictly enforce certain rules against him." "He (the NBA-appointed crew supervisor) came in at halftime and he was laughing and stated that he felt Iverson was getting the message...It was done often..and that's what allowed me to make winning picks in a lot of these games."

This is where things get a little more concerning. That the refs occasionally showed bias against a superstar with a high-profile attitude problem is obvious...But if it's happening to other players and often enough for Donaghy and who knows who else to be betting heavily on its outcome? Let's hear him out:

(on Rasheed Wallace) "Nobody liked him...it was just a situation where at times we would joke around and see who would be able to do it first" ('it' meaning hit Sheed with a tech. Kinda makes this seem a little more legit). There were others too; Donaghy names Ron Artest and Chauncey Billups (?!) as other prominent targets of referee discrimination, but alludes to the practice as being all too common: "...It all depends on the referee and the situation and the previous games".

This is where alarms really start to go off; when a former inside man, who despite his past indiscretions seems very sincere in his stance, alleges that personal vendettas are regularly influencing officiating. This goes beyond the scope of the lone-acting rogue Donaghy was cast as several years ago when news of this scandal first surfaced. The League's top brass wasted little time with an 'investigation' that threw TD on the grenade to shelter the rest of its officials. Their strategy was understandable; any other approach would even further embellish an already delicate situation and forever taint the league's credibility. With steroids plaguing baseball and football, fighting raising red flags in hockey, the NBA could dodge a critical blow by downplaying this issue.

What Stern & Co. didn't do was effectively regulate this trend and impose impartiality on its refs. A year later, the League was forced to suspend one of its top officials for maliciously targeting the game's most mild-mannered star. Two years later, wild officiating plagued the opening rounds of the playoffs, resulting in a rash of suspensions for players who couldn't have known what to expect. That this is still being allowed to happen is pretty fucking sloppy.

When asked to respond to David Stern's statement that he acted alone in corrupt officiating: "...He needs to take his head out of the sand". He stops short of directly implicating other refs in gambling, but his new book 'Personal Foul' makes allegations against some of the NBA's most prominent officials, substantiating the fears many fans have had for years. The League's referees have gotten far too comfortable; it's offensive to think that their personal motives, whether financial or vengeful, are taking the game out of the players' hands.

It's remained to be seen how the League reacts to this latest chapter in their ongoing saga with Mr. Donaghy. They've done a relatively poor job of regulating consistency in officiating, particularly in the postseason, and need to create a more objective culture. Donaghy may or may not have been the only one lining his pockets on fixed calls, but if there's any truth to his story, crookedness well beyond his reach might be fucking up the NBA. The Commish has been very good at steering clear of disaster over his 25-year term; if any of this bullshit is still festering in the League's bowels, he'd best do like Donaghy and make "subtle changes" before it "evolves into something very drastic".

POWER RANKINGS!!!

A quarter of the way into the season, things are becoming a little clearer: we've got a pretty good glimpse of who's looking to contend (the Lakeshow) and who's just waiting on John Wall (The Nots), who's coming on strong this year (the Thunder), and who's...well...Greg Oden. As the marathon to April's playoffs hits its middle stretch, now's a perfect time to size everbody up and see rank how these teams measure up; a Power Rankings if you will (c'mon, what hoops website doesn't have one of these things?). There's a lot of shit to wade through before we can get the League's elite, so let's jump in:

30-New Jersey Nets: Brook Lopez and Chris Douglas-Roberts have been huge for a team that's in desperate need of bright spots to celebrate after canning their coach and taking shittiness to a historical low with an 0-18 start.

29- Minnesota Timberwolves: Kevin Love's recent return won't hurt their shallow frontcourt, but this team still has little valuable experience, a confusing point guard dilemma and far too many holes to be close to the playoff picture.

28- New York Knicks: Recent inspired play had caused some undue optimism at MSG; this semi-talented team has some nice pieces who will occasionally sting teams like the Suns who show little defensive resistance. But this team's still a cohesion-lacking bunch of kids in contract years playing for a team with by far the most uncertainty surrounding its upcoming offseason. Anyone who thinks they'll be able do it consistently is kidding themselves.

27- Indiana Pacers: Danny Granger's ailing foot is a potential crisis for the Pacers. If he goes down and they don't have an All-Star this year, with the Kings playing way above par and New Jersey's legendary struggles, they might sink below the radar far enough to re-claim "Most Irrelevant" status. They're certainly playing poorly enough already.

26- Philadelphia 76ers: This woeful squad's been health, consistency and competency-challenged this year and welcomes AI back with open arms. With nowhere to go but up, he'll give them a much-needed offensive boost and put fans back in the seats.

25- Golden State Warriors: Erratic. Undersized. Redundant. Inconsistent. Malcontent. Regardless of talent (and they have plenty), these aren't attributes that win you many games.

24- Washington Wizards: I can't say I've given up on the Wiz yet but the vulnerable East playoff picture suggests they'll be the first team to make a big move this year. They've got plenty of scorers but not one shoot-second playmaker and few solid defenders. The Wiz are a living defenition of incohesive talent and performing way under expectations.

23- Chicago Bulls: The Bulls clearly lost a step offensively with the departure of Ben Gordon; Derrick Rose and Luol Deng have so far failed to deliver the scoring they've needed to recover. This season's goal has to be acquiring Carlos Boozer, regardless of the short-term implications(which given the Jazz's open intentions of trading him, might not be too serious).

22- Memphis Grizzlies: 'Allen Iverson's Ex' might as well be their new title; it's how they've become known to the masses of casual fana to whom this team is now a non-factor. Their starting 5's pretty nice, but the League's shallowest bench and legacy of failure will continue to plague this team.

21- Detroit Pistons: They haven't been healthy but they haven't been particularly good either. This is another team that has plenty of potential pieces to make a much-needed trade, and with Dumars at the helm it could be anytime (last year's Iverson deal came 4 games into the season). Also, concerning at Ben Wallace's peculiar career arc, it's become clear that the guy who for most of this decade defined "blue collar" in the NBA, plays his best ball in, of all places, Detroit.

20- Los Angeles Clippers: They're playing close to .500 ball against a soft early schedule; 'bout par for the course. Blake Griffin's yet to suit up, but if he plays well enough to shake up the ROY race, it also might be enough to put them in the playoff picture.

19- Toronto Raptors: The Craptors have had a rough start, both in terms of their schedule and their level of play. Hedo's been a plug. Jose's been hibernating. Reggie Evans, one of two players on the roster who embody the defensive toughness and hustle this team sorely lacks, is in suits. Chris Bosh is playing incredibly well now that, for once, his career has purpose and direction - south of the border.

18- Charlotte Bobcats: The addition of Stephen Jackson gives them needed scoring and another building block towards the type of franchise player they'll need to move up on the League's totem pole. Playoffs might be in the cards this year; the teams fighting for the East's lower slots have been duds so far and Captain Jack could be the difference against such weakness.

17- Sacramento Kings: Tyreke Evans is just nasty, and probably the ROY at this point. Encouraging production from Omri Casspi and Jason Thompson are among the other reasons why this team's blowing expectations out of the water with their best player on the chilling list.

16- Milwaukee Bucks: Another team that's been without its franchise player for most of the year and benefitted from the sudden emergence of a rookie phenom. Brandon Jennings has been in a shooting slump for the past couple weeks, but this guy's clearly an All-Star in the making and a steal for a team that lost two of its best players for close to nothing this offseason.

15- New Orleans Hornets: Remove Chris Paul from this sordid mess and they're one of the worst teams in the L, so that they've managed a better record with him on the sidelines than on the court this year is puzzling. Anyhow, hes back to his old 16/15/8 steals self, so thing should be on the up and up. Emeka's been his solid but unspectacular self, filling in nicely for Tyson Chandler, but they'd be so much nastier if they had another scorer taking Peja's now useless minutes (one single-faceted spot-up shooter doing 11/game on a 37% clip: $14.2 million, look on Chris Paul's face once that whale expires/is traded: priceless).

14- Oklahoma City Thunder: These guys are the new Hawks; a team built around a solid foundation of youngsters who are going to steadily improve every year and ascend the Western heirarchy. I hope to God that they deliver on that potential quickly enough to keep the Spurs of of the playoffs this year, but I don't see it happening.

13- Houston Rockets: Playing well above the sum of their parts, the Rockets have been sparked by MIP frontrunner Aaron Brooks and even without T-Mac and Yao are thinking playoffs with an attack that's more well-rounded than Oliver Miller. Fans must be sick at the thought of what might've been, but at least in the wake of inevitable injuries to their franchise players, the Rockets are keeping things interesting.

12- Miami Heat: As The Dwyane Wade Show grinds through its predictable seventh season, the title character still sees himself surrounded by a less talented cast than a performer of his caliber deserves. Still waiting for a dynamic twist that can re-vitalize his series' plot, Dwyane knows that although he's done big things with his current network, the glory days of Season 3 are far behind them, and he'll get many offers this summer from competitors wanting to write the next chapter in his story.

11- San Antonio Spurs: Dunno what to say here. The Spurs, for the first time this millennium (and seemingly much longer), look lost. They're a year older, a little more shallow and have never been known to peak early, but this .500 start's a disturbing trend for a team that saw themselves as title threats and seem a few steps away at this point. It's far too early to call it quits but their early season nonchalance has never looked so troubled.

10- Portland Trailblazers: Now that they no longer need to wait on the requisite Greg Oden injury, all the Blazers, also beset by ailments to Nicolas Batum and Travis Outlaw (not to mention their coach and owner) can do now is pick up the pieces. The Andre Miller experiment hasn't improved them yet and they look like they've reached that ceiling where they're a move away from fucking with the West's elite.

9- Utah Jazz: While P-Milly impatiently waits in the wings, the Carlos Boozer trade value tour has been a monster so far. Despite his gaudy numbers and Utah's stable of offensive prowess, their Western ascent has been grounded by their streaky shooting and abhorrent defense. Dare I say a Jerry Sloan team's underachieving, but this team should be capable of more consistent play.

8- Dallas Mavericks: Dirk's up to his usual semi-MVP antics, but suddenly the traditionally offensive Mavs are having trouble putting up points. A healthy Josh Howard would do wonders but aside from Nowtizki and Sixth Man frontrunner Jason Terry, they're very thin on scoring right now. Players like Marion and Kidd are much more comfortable putting up points when given the kind of space another 20-point threat will create. Either way, here's hoping something falls apart for them.

7- Atlanta Hawks: Off to a torrid start (and beating tough competition), they're better than last year, but not thorough enough to be in the same conversation as the East's best teams. The key will be maintaining this play over thewhole season, which I don't see them doing. Much like Portland out West, they're that young team that might be pushing their current limits; experience will be the best tool as they mature at a slower rate this season, but with Joe Johnson's impending free agency, time's of the essence.

6- Phoenix Suns: Now that Alvin Gentry's got a full season to impose his will on Phoenix, they're back playing a style of ball that's much more suited to their roster. Their run and gun ways are amassing points and W's now that Stoudemire's healthy and they've shed a hundred pounds (and gained 20 feet of shooting range) at center. They'll play well through the regular season, but this exciting, high-scoring Suns team looks doomed to same fate as its predecessors. Their lack of defensive ability or commitment could be fatal against a legit Western team over 7 games.

5- Denver Nuggets: Picking up where they left off last season, the Nugs look like the Lakers' bridesmaids in the West again this year. Melo's stepped up and is playing on the same level as his heralded classmates while Ty Lawson's been one of the steals of this year's draft, providing the aggressive energy and scoring they lost with Linas Kleiza. Denver's proving that their lack of preseason hype as contenders was just lost in the moves everyone else made; they'll be a force.

4- Cleveland Cavaliers: Despite a shaky start that included losses to the Wizards, Bulls and Bobcats, Cleveland has responded to some early-season adjustment issues with a string of impressive victories to put them back among the East's best. They've shuffled their lineup(using Varejao as an energetic 6th man makes a lot more sense), begun to show signs their offensive swag and dismissed Orlando and Phoenix like they were Braylon Edwards. Their schedule's been cushy so far but if they can continue this recent inspired play, they'll only continue to rise.

3- Boston Celtics: The Celtics are going to be a very difficult team to beat next spring. Not only are they deep roster of playoff-savvy veterans, but their stars know their windows are closing, and I'm already having visions of KG unleashing his inner William Wallace carrying this team to the Finals on one leg. They're just going through the motions while they wait; the regular season is more of formality for them than any team in the East. Keeping pace and getting a #1 seed out of it would make them the clear cut favorites to win the conference.

2- Orlando Magic: I can't say it any better than ESPN's Marc Stein: 'They've won seven in a row on the road. They've gone 8-1 since losing Jameer. They've won biggies at Boston and Atlanta and sit one disputed Miami basket away from an 11 game win streak. They've got to be #2.'

1- Los Angeles Lakers: Well, it happened. The Ron Artest bomb went off. Sooner than we could've assumed it would in Phil Jackson's Zen Garden. Now living it up on the Hollywood stage, Ron Ron's been making strange workout videos, doing Jimmy Kimmel in his boxers, and admitting to past on-the-job drinking, all within the season's first month...And yet nothing's happening. A few laughs have been had sure, but there's been no fines, no suspensions, (well a league investigation into his Hennesy habits can't help) just solid contributions to a Lakers team that, essentially without Pau, has earned the league's best record. Kobe's putting up another very convincing MVP argument, and even after all the offseason retooling done by the other contenders, the Lakers have to be the favorites to repeat.

Behind the Headlines

- The 76ers, down a trigger-happy point guard and in desperate need of a proverbial shot in the arm, have signed maybe the most prolific trigger-happy point guard ever; franchise icon Allen Iverson. The move ends maybe the shortest retirement in pro sports history and gives Iverson another, perhaps final, chance to right the sinking ship his legacy's riding. While he's still capable of top-notch scoring, I can only pray that AI buckles down and plays within the team; accepting that he won't be the man all the time and keep his mouth shut about it. Sure, the 76ers are going nowhere fast, but if the Answer can prove his value in a more balanced role, he could be an attractive free agent for a contender next summer and deal with the Question that's plagued him his whole career: his ringless fingers. The Philly fans are the clear winners here; their one-time savior returns to maybe once again rescue them from mediocrity, but Iverson could come out of this on top regardless of how well the Sixers do this year...or it could drive the nail in his career's coffin. The stakes are high but regardless, it's good to have him back.

- In unrelated (also unsurprising) news, Ron Artest, he of the Late-Night nudity, recently admitted to a Sporting News reporter that he used to keep Henny stashed in his locker when he played for the Bulls, and get his sip on at halftime. Apparently he had some difficulty kicking old habits, as Ron explains: "When I was a 19-year-old father, whew. I was a single pimp! I was wild...A lot of marijuana and alcohol -- even before [that age]. ... I [still] party and I have fun, but not like I used to. I used to drink every night and party every night." While this helps to explain some of the on-court antics we've seen from Mr. Artest over the years, it creates plenty of questions for his employer, and further skews the already distorted lens through which everyone observes him. I really don't know what to say about the guy at this point, other than it's clear he's not going to change. He's a grown man with a tormented yet goofy spirit who's been doing crazy shit in the NBA for damn near a decade. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the damage he's doing to his own image, but at least he's learned to stop doing damage to the team (...and Knicks TV equipment...and Detroit Pistons fans).

- Speaking of forwards whose lives have become running punchlines, Antoine Walker was in the news again this week. Last time we heard from the Round Mound of Ill-Advised 3's, he had tilted off nearly a million bucks at various Las Vegas casinos and bounced on the tab. Apparently 'Toine's patterned his business ventures after his gambling habits: several buildings owned by his Chicago-based realty company (which was already facing 12 incompetence-based lawsuits) have been cited by the city as a 'slum nuissance'. Respect the grind.

- Amare Stoudemire and Tyson Chandler's fans just had to know what was going down during their games last weekend, and their wallets are a little lighter thanks to new NBA rules that prohibit Tweeting during games. I don't know what's more ridiculous; that players can't focus enough on a game to leave their pretentious Twitter accounts alone for a few hours, or that League actually feels the need to regulate this kind of activity.

- And special shout-outs to the reeling Nets, whom the Lakers recently sent to a historical low: their failure to cop a W in any of their first 17 games is the worst start in NBA history. With Sacramento playing well, New Jersey is officially set to take over "Most Irrelevant Team" status once Devin Harris wins them a few games and people stop talking about them. All thirteen of you Nets fans out there, our prayers are with you.