It's about that time. And it couldn't be coming soon enough.
With the NHL mired in another lockout, a bunch of French mimes masquerading as NFL officials, and the MLB playoffs again perpetually boring everyone, the NBA approaches its first full season under the new collective bargaining agreement (could've put 'CBA' I guess, just trying to avoid the 100th acronym in this sentence). Spared a two-month moratorium, and endless cliché 'Best Christmas Gift Ever!!' Facebook statuses, hoop-heads everywhere are bustling; prepping fantasy leagues, laying predictions and bets, ordering League Pass, taking their team's jersey to the cleaners, and getting set for the show. With only a week or so 'til training camps open, it's time for Banter's 2012-13 Season Preview:
Just as The Avengers was crushing the Box Office, the Lakers (as they tend to do) assembled their own blockbuster legion of superstars in Hollywood, in a completely movie-script fashion; convincing their once-and-probably-still bitter rivals to hand them their once-and-probably-still-close-to MVP, then ending the Dwight InDecision saga that had plagued the NBA for eons, flipping Andrew Bynum into his only possible upgrade (that Orlando somehow didn't manage to get Bynum back in the deal is a rant for another time...). Talk about your GM of the Year bids.
This uprising clearly stole the offseason - everything from headlines to the opposition's plans - and has potentially snuffed the momentum of the small-ball trend sparked by Miami's recent bid to form a dynasty without a dominant center (or Michael Jordan) for the first time in NBA history. These 'trades' (I envision something more closely resembling the electrocution scene from Taken with Mitch Kupchak playing Liam Neeson and Rob Hennigan the helpless Albanian as he reluctantly agrees to send Bynum to Philadelphia) couldn't have come at a better time for the seemingly-dead Lakers. Their perimeter speed on D is no longer an issue; Howard has that kind of deterrent effect on penetration that the US government likes to think the death penalty has on crime. Mike Brown can end his embarrassing charade as an offensive co-ordinator; he has one running his point. Metta World Peace, or whatever his name will be by opening night, will no longer have the touches to launch up his 'Little Engine That Could' 3-point bombs, and Pau Gasol will finally have the balance of Nash's friendly locker room presence and on-court generosity to Kobe's, well, exact opposite of those. Their depth issues are evident, but by the time the Trade Deadline and veteran signings pass, this team is sure to be a few spots safer, and can cruise through the regular season to a Top-4 seed even if they're not completely healthy. It'll be interesting, and entertaining (really, it wasn't enough that Chris Paul and Blake Griffin landed on the same team, but now we get Nash and Howard too?) to see how it unfolds, but the plot just thickened considerably.
This uprising clearly stole the offseason - everything from headlines to the opposition's plans - and has potentially snuffed the momentum of the small-ball trend sparked by Miami's recent bid to form a dynasty without a dominant center (or Michael Jordan) for the first time in NBA history. These 'trades' (I envision something more closely resembling the electrocution scene from Taken with Mitch Kupchak playing Liam Neeson and Rob Hennigan the helpless Albanian as he reluctantly agrees to send Bynum to Philadelphia) couldn't have come at a better time for the seemingly-dead Lakers. Their perimeter speed on D is no longer an issue; Howard has that kind of deterrent effect on penetration that the US government likes to think the death penalty has on crime. Mike Brown can end his embarrassing charade as an offensive co-ordinator; he has one running his point. Metta World Peace, or whatever his name will be by opening night, will no longer have the touches to launch up his 'Little Engine That Could' 3-point bombs, and Pau Gasol will finally have the balance of Nash's friendly locker room presence and on-court generosity to Kobe's, well, exact opposite of those. Their depth issues are evident, but by the time the Trade Deadline and veteran signings pass, this team is sure to be a few spots safer, and can cruise through the regular season to a Top-4 seed even if they're not completely healthy. It'll be interesting, and entertaining (really, it wasn't enough that Chris Paul and Blake Griffin landed on the same team, but now we get Nash and Howard too?) to see how it unfolds, but the plot just thickened considerably.
Miami also made a big splash; seeing obvious room to improve in the afterglow of their title parade, they addressed their most basic need - find good distance shooters to knock down the open looks Lebron and Wade create and space the floor (keep in mind, this was prior to 'defend Dwight Howard on a serious contender' being a basic need) - by picking up a very good long-range assassin, and in a completely unrelated case, the greatest one ever. With Bosh and Lebron more comfortable as post players, they're making a very bold case to live up to that ridiculous Welcome Party (I'd link to YouTube but it's too painful to watch and think "These guys are the NBA Champions") and truly make their mark.
Brooklyn's new team will be breaking in the Barclay Center with a somewhat-intriguing look. Though they fanned on Howard, keeping Deron Williams was huge, adding Joe Johnson was an expensive improvement (keep in mind who owns them and how he tips luxury tax money to bathroom attendants), and having Brook Lopez as your center isn't the worst thing in the World when the guy beside him in the post grabs 11 rebounds/game.
The Knicks meanwhile, have conveniently agreed to further their team's role as media spectacle, by hosting an NBATV reality show aimed at reviving the careers of aging stars like every other celebrity reality TV disaster. "Be Our Backup Center" will star Marcus Camby, Kurt Thomas, and most amusingly Rasheed Wallace, in a bid to selfishly compete for shine on a middling playoff team. Coming off a tour as a heroic gunner in the Olympics, Melo's sure to be as trigger-happy as ever, which will surely set the tone for the Knicks as they struggle with the media and Eastern lottery teams, while trying to get over the fact that Jeremy Lin no longer plays for them. Did I mention they're trying to hire Isiah Thomas again? Stay tuned.
There's also a big buzz around New Orleans lately (sorry, too easy), with the arrival of the Unibrow and all his promise - not potential - promise. Adding the hungry, talented, and poised Austin Rivers (nothing says 'NBA-Ready' like a kid raised by someone who's spent the last 30 years deeply involved in it) is big, holding onto Eric Gordon is bigger, and forgotten in their wake is Ryan Anderson, and the noted absence of Rashard Lewis' contract. If you're a Conspiracy Theorist, you probably think the fix is on as a "thanks for taking this team off our hands" gift from the NBA. But everyone else is laughing at you.
The Knicks meanwhile, have conveniently agreed to further their team's role as media spectacle, by hosting an NBATV reality show aimed at reviving the careers of aging stars like every other celebrity reality TV disaster. "Be Our Backup Center" will star Marcus Camby, Kurt Thomas, and most amusingly Rasheed Wallace, in a bid to selfishly compete for shine on a middling playoff team. Coming off a tour as a heroic gunner in the Olympics, Melo's sure to be as trigger-happy as ever, which will surely set the tone for the Knicks as they struggle with the media and Eastern lottery teams, while trying to get over the fact that Jeremy Lin no longer plays for them. Did I mention they're trying to hire Isiah Thomas again? Stay tuned.
There's also a big buzz around New Orleans lately (sorry, too easy), with the arrival of the Unibrow and all his promise - not potential - promise. Adding the hungry, talented, and poised Austin Rivers (nothing says 'NBA-Ready' like a kid raised by someone who's spent the last 30 years deeply involved in it) is big, holding onto Eric Gordon is bigger, and forgotten in their wake is Ryan Anderson, and the noted absence of Rashard Lewis' contract. If you're a Conspiracy Theorist, you probably think the fix is on as a "thanks for taking this team off our hands" gift from the NBA. But everyone else is laughing at you.
The Big Losers this offseason had to be the Mavs, who gambled their title defense on a shot at Dwight and Deron, came up with Chris and Darren, and despite Mark Cuban's attempts to validate their offseason, have a carton of eggs on their face for not just paying Tyson Chandler. This team looks even less likely to succeed than the Mavs team that won it all against all odds, and Dirk's window may have shut. The only real positive from their offseason is that Khloe Kardashian got to move back to Los Angeles.
So how's it all going to play out? Here's my predictions so they can blow up in my face:
MVP - Lebron James: This is just kind of obvious. The things preventing James from winning this award, in order of ascending likelihood: 1. Lebron getting injured 2. Kevin Durant going on a complete rampage 3. The voters getting bored and giving it to someone else on principle.
MVP - Lebron James: This is just kind of obvious. The things preventing James from winning this award, in order of ascending likelihood: 1. Lebron getting injured 2. Kevin Durant going on a complete rampage 3. The voters getting bored and giving it to someone else on principle.
Sleepers: Kevin Durant, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul
ROY - Anthony Davis: Also kind of obvious. Jonas Valanciunas will be a nice addition for the Raptors, but Davis has too complete and polished a game already to not command this award's favoritism. He has the #1 pedigree, all the opportunity to shine he desires, and is coming off a summer with the best players in the World. His to lose.
Sleepers: Jonas Valanciunas, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Damian Lillard
DPOY - Dwight Howard: If Howard was ever motivated to be nasty, then this is the time. Already by far the best defensive big in the League, he now has the best team he's ever played on (also one that will rely on him for plenty of help) and he finally realizes the entire country hates him. I'd hate to see him angry...
Sleepers: Lebron James, Tyson Chandler, Rajon Rondo
COY - Doug Collins: This award's nature sort of defies prediction - it tends to go to coaches who overcame adversity or performed unexpectedly well, so Collins seems like a safe bet: a steady hand with a knack for developing talent, at the helm of a young team that's been poised for a big jump, and just happened to have stumbled into Andrew Bynum, who appears ready to blow up, which leads me to:
COY - Doug Collins: This award's nature sort of defies prediction - it tends to go to coaches who overcame adversity or performed unexpectedly well, so Collins seems like a safe bet: a steady hand with a knack for developing talent, at the helm of a young team that's been poised for a big jump, and just happened to have stumbled into Andrew Bynum, who appears ready to blow up, which leads me to:
MIP - Andrew Bynum: This sometimes-zany, sometimes-outright-dominant beast of a young man has spent a couple seasons flirting with brilliance, but lacked the consistent touches and autonomy his game needed to truly thrive with the Lakers. In Philly, he'll clearly be The Man on a team that's wondered whose theirs was since Iverson left. As if Bynum shouldn't be comfortable enough in his new surroundings, Howard and Andrew Bogut - formerly two of the East's three best defensive bigs - are in new threads, and the opportunities for him to ruin the opposition should be plenty.
Sleepers: Javale McGee, Goran Dragic, Nikola Vucevic (or at least Rob Hennigan had better hope so)
6MOY - Antawn Jamison: James Harden's officially ineligible. Anyone who's already won this award and is consequently seeking a Max deal doesn't need the validation again. Jamison on the other hand, has spent years going hard for crappy teams since copping this trophy with Dallas almost a decade ago, and now back on a contender (as if his half-season with the Cavs counted), will be the focal point of a bench that looks thinner than half the Lakers Girls' waistlines. He'll be counted on for consistent scoring and help on the glass, and will be the beneficiary of plenty of attention lapses on D with as many as four superstars surrounding him. I'd be willing to wager he's at least somewhat rejuvenated by finally being rescued from the Lottery and has at least this much left in the tank.
Sleepers: Dorrell Wright, Grant Hill, whoever loses the Hawks' starting PG battle
Eastern Conference Western Conference
Sleepers: Javale McGee, Goran Dragic, Nikola Vucevic (or at least Rob Hennigan had better hope so)
6MOY - Antawn Jamison: James Harden's officially ineligible. Anyone who's already won this award and is consequently seeking a Max deal doesn't need the validation again. Jamison on the other hand, has spent years going hard for crappy teams since copping this trophy with Dallas almost a decade ago, and now back on a contender (as if his half-season with the Cavs counted), will be the focal point of a bench that looks thinner than half the Lakers Girls' waistlines. He'll be counted on for consistent scoring and help on the glass, and will be the beneficiary of plenty of attention lapses on D with as many as four superstars surrounding him. I'd be willing to wager he's at least somewhat rejuvenated by finally being rescued from the Lottery and has at least this much left in the tank.
Sleepers: Dorrell Wright, Grant Hill, whoever loses the Hawks' starting PG battle
Eastern Conference Western Conference
1. Miami Heat 1. Los Angeles Lakers
2. Chicago Bulls 2. Oklahoma City Thunder
3. Indiana Pacers 3. San Antonio Spurs
2. Chicago Bulls 2. Oklahoma City Thunder
3. Indiana Pacers 3. San Antonio Spurs
4. Boston Celtics 4. Memphis Grizzlies East Finals: Heat over Bulls
5. Philadelphia 76ers 5. Los Angeles Clippers
6. Atlanta Hawks 6. Denver Nuggets West Finals: Lakers over Thunder
7. New York Knicks 7. Minnesota Timberwolves
8. Brooklyn Nets 8. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals: Lakers over Heat
9. Toronto Raptors 9. Utah Jazz
10. Milwaukee Bucks 10. Golden State Warriors
11. Cleveland Cavaliers 11. Houston Rockets
12. Washington Wizards 12. New Orleans Hornets
13. Detroit Pistons 13. Portland Trailblazers
14. Orlando Magic 14. Sacramento Kings
15. Charlotte Bobcats 15. Phoenix Suns
Ultimately, I just can't see the Heat stopping the Lakers. I've heard lot of people this summer point to 2004's acquisition of Karl Malone and Gary Payton as evidence that this doesn't guarantee success. I've mocked those people. At the time, Malone and Payton were beached whales at the tail-end of their careers, below an All-Star level of play, latching on to two superstars whose several-year feud was about to hit a boiling point. Nash is a consensus top-20 player and perhaps the ideal quarterback for a team of All-Stars, Howard's in the thick of his physical prime and has been the most dominant center in the NBA for years, and while Bryant and Gasol have never been the best of friends, their synergy as teammates has never driven Pau to publicly ask Kobe how his ass tastes in a freestyle diss. Depth aside, Kupchak still has a few months to fill out the roster, and with this kind of talent, going 9 deep won't be necessary. Their talent is comparable to Miami's, and much more well-rounded, so I don't see South Beach hosting another parade next June.
That being said, predictions are a fraction of any picture; watching it all take form is the best part. The Raptors touch down in my hometown of Halifax next week for training camp; as direct a sign as any that the NBA season's upon us. I hope you all enjoy the next eight months as much as I will; God bless the NHL Lockout.
Ultimately, I just can't see the Heat stopping the Lakers. I've heard lot of people this summer point to 2004's acquisition of Karl Malone and Gary Payton as evidence that this doesn't guarantee success. I've mocked those people. At the time, Malone and Payton were beached whales at the tail-end of their careers, below an All-Star level of play, latching on to two superstars whose several-year feud was about to hit a boiling point. Nash is a consensus top-20 player and perhaps the ideal quarterback for a team of All-Stars, Howard's in the thick of his physical prime and has been the most dominant center in the NBA for years, and while Bryant and Gasol have never been the best of friends, their synergy as teammates has never driven Pau to publicly ask Kobe how his ass tastes in a freestyle diss. Depth aside, Kupchak still has a few months to fill out the roster, and with this kind of talent, going 9 deep won't be necessary. Their talent is comparable to Miami's, and much more well-rounded, so I don't see South Beach hosting another parade next June.
That being said, predictions are a fraction of any picture; watching it all take form is the best part. The Raptors touch down in my hometown of Halifax next week for training camp; as direct a sign as any that the NBA season's upon us. I hope you all enjoy the next eight months as much as I will; God bless the NHL Lockout.
