Hate Me Now

I consider myself to be a pretty good basketball fan. I'm not a stubborn monogomist or a bandwagon hopper, but someone who can apprecaite different things about many NBA teams. I root for few, love to (insincerely) hate on many, but really I just want what's good for the game. Despite this, I'm convinced that there's an undeniable curse haunting the on and off-court lives of any team or player I've dared to call my "favorite" and shown unwavering affection for.

It all started back in '94 when I first started watching ball. Being young and easily excitable, I naturally began worshipping Shawn Kemp, who aside from being pretty damn good, was the most reckless abuser of other players' egos with his high-flying antics. The Sonics were an awesome team who seemed destined for a title, but then things didn't work out for Michael Jordan and baseball, and his 72-10 Bulls beat them in the Finals. Kemp thus doubled his weight, started doing massive amounts of cocaine, and was traded to Cleveland, where nothing ever works out for basketball teams (more on that in a second). Then came the Portland Jailblazers; a colorful bunch of NBA misfits, led by my boy Rasheed, who just happened to have themselves in the thick of the championship hunt. Again, they seemed destined to win it all; up 19 on the Lakers in game 7 of the West Finals back when the East stood no chance at all. Then they missed a few shots, Shaq caught that alley-oop on Sabonis, and an imminent title faded into the distance as the Blazers gradually degenarated into an abyss of selfish basketball, bad contracts and petty crimes. Things just weren't working out, so as an NBA fan, I played the field for a while.

In 2000, Slam magazine ran a feature about some high school sophomore named Lebron James who was trying to get drafted as a 17-year old kid and actually being taken seriously. This kid immediately struck me with his poise and composure; he didn't seem like some insane dreamer, but a young man who was not only determined to be the best, but was actually good enough to do it. I didn't start building it quite that early, but in my mind I was already drawing up blueprints for LBJ bandwagon.

The rest writes itself; the Sports Illustrated cover at 17, the ESPN games, the unheard-of attention and promise that surrounded this kid swept up a nation that was already quick to call for his head over a couple of f***ing throwback jerseys (again, more on that in a second). My admiration for Lebron's game and character kept mounting along with the insane expectations, because no matter how high, he always managed to exceed them, keeping a smile on his face and doing the same for the millions who Witnessed. Even when his NBA career dawned, it seemed we just weren't ready for what he was capable of. Maybe leaving high school early wasn't so far-fetched.

As the rest continued to write itself, Lebron became one of the most loved and high-profile athletes in the World, garnering more attention from the media for not only his stellar play and emerging brand identity, but trivial crap like baseball caps and jersey numbers (what is it with us and this guy's clothing?). As the plot gradually churned leading up to this past summer, things were inevitably going to get very thick for Lebron. Whatever choice he made be dissected under the mass media's most powerful microscope, and signing anywhere but Cleveland seemed like PR suicide.

Thing is, the Cavs just weren't getting it done. Maybe all the hype and expectation finally got to Lebron's head, or maybe he was sick of being a one-man show and still coming up juuust short every year. Whateve the case (likely both), he wanted to win championships. Now. And he found a better opportunity in Miami than the Cavs could offer. Plain and simple. Yeah yeah, I know, "The Decision" was a pretentious, humiliating way to break up with Cleveland, but James gave them a fair window to build a winning franchise around him. Fact is, they brought in some big names, but the 2-12 men came up short in the playoffs every year and visibly frustrated a guy who just wanted to win.

Now that he's Decided to go after greatness, James has been a punching bag, hell a pinata, for fans, talking heads, and even the game's legends this summer. The curse struck again. Not only was James denied a title in Cleveland, but suffered the worst imaginable blow to his image for chasing one. There have been (albeit, some very accurate) misled, exaggerated, out-of-context and just plain stupid things said about the guy who so recently was a basketball hero. One slight screw up and someone we'd spent years adoring was a trendy target for unabashed hatred; like last year when Tiger Woods couldn't keep it in his pants, or like in Scarface when Manny couldn't either. There has been more Lebron hatred raining since mid-July than over his entire career beforehand, and all this before the Miami Heat have played a single game of basketball.

Can we all just fuck off already? All we've ever built Lebron up to be was great. Now he wants to be, and we throw him under the fastest, heaviest truck on the freeway? So what if he's doing it on our terms, leading a team from his hometown to the promise land? He spent half his career slaving to while the team around him came up short. He took a once-in-a-lifetime chance to chase his dream; not money, not fame - he's already got too much of both - but glory. Is that so shameful? We as an audience demanded so much from Lebron that we lost sight of the reality that his own ambitions and desires are what should matter to him. We've seen it happen with countless pro athletes; the bigger the star, the smaller the fuck-up, the larger the outlash; but with James things seemed misguided...All the guy wanted to do was win.

There's not much more that can be said about Lebron's summer that hasn't already been tossed around by jaded, angry and stubborn basketball fans. So let's forget about the offseason, fuck it, it happened, move on. I can't sincerely say that I'll be cheering for the Heat this year - it's hard to root for a team that has the odds stacked so heavily in their favor - but Lebron's going to have a pretty good shot at breaking the curse with the Dream Team the Heat are fielding. It will be exciting, perhaps historical basketball, and if the Heat don't win multiple titles it will surprise many of us.

Keep that in mind, Because it's easy and trendy to hate Lebron now, but it was also trendy (and much easier) to hate Kobe Bryant at one point, and ten times less fathomable that he'd bounce back. Let's let the Heat go do their thing for a bit; let this summer's madness subside. Don't forget that underneath this alleged monster is (arguably) the best basketball player alive. He's got a fresh team - one that's far more talented than any he's been on - and plenty of critics to silence. We can shower Lebron James in Haterade all we want, but when him and D-Wade have their own Court Cuts segment every week, when the Heat win 60+, and when the King can finally hoist the Larry O and rest easy on his throne, it'll be hard for him to feel a single drop.

A Coming of Age Story

What's up everyone, I know it looks like I'm slacking, taking two weeks to get something new on here; the past little bit's been sorta hectic with moving into a new apartment stacked on top of the usual back-to-school routine. I spent last week throwing together a piece about the ten guys with the most important seasons coming up and thought I had posted it the other day, only to find that the same wonderful Blogger interface that religiously fucks up my paragraph spacing had instead deleted it. Having thrown several hours of my life down the toilet, my motivation to write an identical post all over again was shot, so I switched things up a little bit...

Every approaching NBA season brings a set of expectations and opportunities for eager players who have contracts to earn and reputations to establish. While players are hungry to make names for themselves and become stars in the league, they can also face lofty demands from fans, presure from coaches and front offices, not mention a wide-open door for media criticism and personal intrusion. There are a plethora of guys who'll face a crossroads of both this season; they seem to be on the verge of stardom, but are also in high-pressure situations that will allow little room for weakness. Here are the Top 10 whose games are going to have to grow up this season; some look much readier than others but this will be a defining season for every one of them.

Raymond Felton
Always an underappreciated point guard in Charlotte, Felton has found an ideal situation for his newly-turned leaf to land in. Not only is he the new quarterback of New York's much-anticipated NBA rebirth, he gets to run free under the loose reigns of a coach that traditionally churns top-notch performance out of point guards. Felton will experience not only greater exposure and potential stardom than were ever possible with the Bobcats, but the scrutiny of the NBA's most vocal (and fickle) fanbase and media. It's a volatile situation; the epitome of risk/reward, and Raymond Felton's implicitly signed himself up to be either a hero or a scapegoat.


Eric Gordon
Gordon landed a somewhat unexpected spot on Team USA this summer as the de-facto shooter on a team with few, but broke out with a surprisingly well-rounded gamle. He not only scored very well, but his strength at the 2 was an asset as a defender and rebounder, and benefited from being immersed in a far more constructive basketball environment than the Los Angeles Clippers have been. Thing is, it's supposed to be different this year. Blake Griffin's arrival, combined with Gordon's growth are supposed to elevate the Clips beyond their running punchline status and potentially into the playoffs. With those heightened standards comes the painful reminder that something will inevitably go wrong with this team - either the talent won't mesh or Donald Sterling won't cut the check to keep them together - but it's a safe assumption Gordon's stock will continue to rise.


Russell Westbrook
The Thunder clapped very loudly last season; a young franchise grew up far sooner than anyone had anticipated, scared the eventual champs in the first round, and are now counted among the best in the West. Their uprising can no doubt be blamed on the ridiculous antics of Kevin Durant, but Westbrook's maturity and increasingly steady hand are pivotal to this team as they round into form. Expectations will be much higher this year; not only will the Thunder be taking nobody by surprise but a further ascent up the Western heirarchy will be more trying than the leap they made last year. With a whole league on guard, Westbrook will be the key catalyst to OKC's success; we all know how Durant gets down, but Russ' continued emergence will be what pushes this team forward.


Andrew Bogut
Last season was Bogut's coming out party; helping Milwaukee get back to the playoffs and establishing himself as one of the best centers in the league. Although he's accomplished a lot, this season brings an even greater challenge for the Aussie, as the Bucks lost any element of surprise they had last year, along with (apparently) their franchise player. The task of leading this team will now fall upon point guard Brandon Jennings, but even moreso Bogut, after this team set the bar very high for themselves with last season's rapid development. He'll need to not only stay consistent, but healthy, as he'll be more important than ever to a Bucks team that knows it belongs in the playoffs and will be looked upon to continue growing.


Kevin Love
Expectations would already be high on a guy who had a standout performance on Team USA and an Entourage cameo in the same summer, but after winning gold and brawling with the Chase brothers, Love must now shoulder a heavy load as the new focal point of Minnesota's frontcourt. After the Wolves traded their best player for an N64 with one controller and a busted copy of Pilotwings, their awkward rebuilding will continue around Kevlar after an injury-plagued but extremely productive season. As this team struggles to find an identity, Love is a good fit; a hard worker who can score, defend, rebound excellently and passes incredbly well for a guy his size. His versatility will be tested routinely by a team that has 28 point guards, just inked Darko Milicic to a long-term deal, and is sure to be deficient in many areas. The dreadfulness will continue for the Wolves this year, but their franchise (and countless fantasy owners) has a lot riding on him now.

Rudy Gay

Another freshly-minted Team USA vet, Gay is also the proud new owner of a massive contract and the task of leading a Grizzlies team that people are actually taking seriously for once. In that sense, there will be lots of pressure on him to rise to the occasion, and '10-'11 will be a defining year for him. Gay's game has steadily grown into his freakish athleticism, but he will be looked upon for an increased presence from a team that's looking to build towards success. For once. The young talent Memphis has assembled is the best shot at long-term decency that this franchise has ever cobbled together, so after 16 years of sordid futility, here's hoping Gay can earn that top dollar.

Luis Scola

After an absolutely dominant performance at the World Championships, Scola's name will be ringing out much louder in across the NBA this season. His style's always been pretty low-key, grinding out solid numbers for Rockets squads that were short on (healthy) starpower after years of lamping over in Europe as the most sought-after talent outside the Association. Things are about to change. A lot of eyes will be on Houston this year as Yao Ming's career hangs in the balance. If Yao can stay healthy and be anything close to the player he was two years ago, the Rockets could shake things up out West and ...But if Yao gets injured (and he has a slight history of it happening), which could very well end his basketball-playing days, Scola will be of critical importance to a frontcourt that lost Trevor Ariza's athleticism and lacks size. If his play this summer carries over into the season, the playoffs and the All-Star game won't be far off.

Darren Collison
Last season, when Chris Paul took an extended injury leave, a rookie came out of nowhere and put on a very convincing impersonation in his absence. With CP healthy and a trade chip in hand, the Hornets dealt their young prodigy to basketball-crazed Indiana, where fans have become increasingly restless with irrelevant, boring and just plain awful teams. Something's bound to give soon - they can't be bad forever, I mean they're not the Clippers, right? - and Collison seems primed to do what TJ Ford's spine and Jamaal Tinsley's insanity couldn't accomplish. A legitimate point guard will go a long way in Indiana's rebuilding effort, and with an uncontested starting job, Collison's game should only continue to flourish.


JJ Hickson
There's not much point in sugar-coating it; the Cleveland Cavaliers are going to be pitiful this year. Not only has the wind completely been sucked out of their sails, but three important frontcourt players left a huge void that will give Hickson a chance to shine. After a season where he showed signs of star potential in limited minutes, he absolutely ate face in several summer league appearances. With O'Neal and Ilgauskas donning other jerseys will see plenty of time at the five for a team that is now very much in rebuilding mode. Meanwhile, this squad's performance is more important than that of the requisite crappy Cleveland sports franchise; a lot of eyes are on how they'll cope with Lebron's departure, especially after Dan Gilbert's embarassing public meltdown. Hickson looks like a Most Improved Player in the making and could be a huge part of any potential Cavs' redemption.


Andrea Bargnani
As basketball North of the border continues to move East of the Atlantic, the lanky Italian Toronto picked first in '06 with huge hopes for is suddenly in the in limelight as the new face of franchise following Chris Bosh's exit. "Bargs" or "Il Mago" (...fuck, somebody get this guy a new nickname) has shown flashes of brilliance since a disappointing sophomore campaign, and without Bosh he will be the focal point on offense; he'll have plenty of chances to feed the confidence his game thrives upon. What remains to be seen of Bargnani is if he can develop the toughness he'll need to lead this team, or perform consistently enough to be a legit go-to guy. With Canada's NBA existence decimated after losing a franchise icon, there will be a lot resting on this young man's ability to finally make the Raptors look smart for drafting him, and hopefully write a happier ending than Toronto's gotten used to.

"...Still a Whole Lot to Lose"

..So what now? It seemed like the entire Association was on guard for years, eagerly awaiting the summer of 2010 and gutting their rosters for the best chance at cashing in on the free agent jackpot. Most of them now return to the drawing board with their hands empty and their dreams dashed, facing the very daunting task of competing with a potential dynasty in Miami to deliver the title their fans all hoped this offseason would help bring home.

As the aftershocks from a ridiculous summer begin to settle, so too does the reality that the Heat are going to be very difficult to contend with this year. Few people on any side of the argument think that anyone besides the current champs and maaaybe a healthy Celtics squad could realistically beat them, and the teams with even a remote chance at doing so can be counted on a single hand. What for the past few seasons had looked like a wide open title chase is suddenly an exclusive endeavor that few teams will even catch a glimpse of.

Despite this cold new frontier, those that won't be playing for a championship will still have lots to lose, if not little to win. Without even mentioning a potential lockout, there's plenty of reason for urgency in many NBA cities; everything from plummeting profits and attendance to unhappy superstars and reputations to protect. Even in the ominous shadow of the league's best teams, the pressure will be immense and the outcomes potentially devastating. Someone's bound to get the worst of it, so giving some benefit of the doubt to the champs and the heir apparents (who, despite having a title to defend and expectations higher than Method Man to meet, are clearly on top of things), here are the ten teams with the most on the line this year:

10. Houston Rockets
Eight years ago, the Rockets drafted Yao Ming first overall in the hopes that he would be a dominant big man and ambassador of a game whose popularity was exploding in his native China. They managed to build a solid cast around he and T-Mac, every season promising a title run to its fans, every season ended prematurely by a fatal array of injuries to their stars. While Yao's done admirably when able, the toll that a decade of non-stop basketball (thanks to ridiculous offseason demands from the Chinese national team) took its toll on his brittle body, keeping him on the chilling list for large slumps of his career. This season will be his most important ever, as Yao, his doctors, and the Rockets all point to another injury being the end of his career. If he stays healthy, pairing him with Kevin Martin will give the Rockets an offensive punch they sorely lacked all last year and surely put them in the West playoffs, but if Yao succumbs to his ailments, we'll have lost a great talent, and Rockets season ticket holders will have been stymied yet again.

9. Detroit Pistons
Not only is this team struggling to keep their heads above water in the East, their fan base grew tired of stale, crappy basketball last season and attendance at Pistons games sank like employment rates in Michigan during the recession. Things have gone from good to bad deplorable too quickly in disinterested and economically-challenged Motown; the once Shaft-esque front office smoothness of Joe Dumars has become as coarse as the sandpaper his balls will soon meet after the bandsaw. Drafting Darko Milicic in the deepest class ever, trading your franchise player inexplicably for a reputed selfish tyrant, signing two third-tier talents to half your team's cap space to have them come off the bench...this is not the kind of decision making that builds winning teams or keeps people their jobs. If Dumars isn't able to put the brakes on this disaster very soon, he might be thrown on the grenade, but even that should do little to prevent this entire team from being blown up if they don't improve vastly. Don't count on it happening.

8. Toronto Raptors
The other squads on this list are rolling the dice on more tangible assets like players and season ticket holders. The Raps come into this season still reeling from their franchise icon's unceremonious exit, facing the implicit task of carrying an entire country's waning basketball interest on their shoulders. Well over half of the games broadcast on Canadian cable tv feature Toronto (...can't wait for this League Pass subscription), meaning most of the basketball we're being exposed to is flimsy, uninspiring crap that's sure to only get worse after RuPaul wasn't traded at the deadline, the team crashed their 5th seed into the lottery over the final 25 games, and he inevitably left. Canadians who (relatively) have little connection to the NBA beyond this shitstorm won't forever hold interest in a team that perpetually loses too many games and All-Star talents (don't forget about T-Mac) for nothing at all. Expectations won't be very high for this team, but the pressure has to be mounting for Toronto to at least come close to meeting them.

7. New York Knicks
What was once basketball's undisputed holy ground became its laughing stock over the last ten years as the Knicks took stupidity to new heights both on and off court. Their salvation was supposed to have arrived this past summer, but endless rumors, perennial tanking, and relentless hope amounted to only marginal improvements and a sense of uncertainty. Not only is this team's range of potential success as wide as any other's in the East, the swirling rumors of Chris Paul and Melo's interest now torment a team that just spent four seasons tanking for Lebron and probably came nowhere close to getting him. If the team plays well and the Knicks can lure both, or even one of their targets, then this year will be a success...If things don't play out so well, the basketball-crazed Garden regulars and boisterous media could turn on this team quickly and be a negative catalyst to any even slight progress. They have the largest window of opportunity of all these teams, but their situation can also become the most volatile if they don't capitalize on it; they haven't done much to make up for the past decade so far.

6. Orlando Magic
It was a summer of slight setback in Orlando; one where the competition got much, much better, and the Magic struggled to stay in neutral, losing Matt Barnes and overpaying to keep JJ Redick. Vince and Rashard aren't getting any younger, Jameer's health is becoming an annual concern, and Dwight's offensive game actually regressed last year as he was frustrated by incessant fouling and forced to earn more of his points at the stripe. Especially now in the imposing shadow of their stateside rivals, things aren't so sunny in Orlando; even Stan Van Gundy's been admitting to the media that the Heat are virtually unbeatable. He might just be trying to motivate his team, but they'll be hard pressed to make it back to the Finals with this squad. Having few big names they'll be willing to or able to trade, and a bloated payroll that will brutally handicap their ability to maneuver, this team will just have to dig deep and exceed all expectation to protect their contender status and prove their coach wrong.

5. New Orleans Hornets
Now that Lebron James is no longer in Leveland, Chris Paul holds the honor of being the single most important player to his team's success in the entire NBA. That he's publicly unhappy with the state of the franchise has to be of concern to a front office in a small, challenged market. The Hornets will have a difficult time being relevant in a city that just won a Super Bowl and a country that (not to sound insensitive) is further removed from the devastation of Katrina, if Paul ends up forcing his way out. It would be easier for Shawn Kemp to get hired at Planned Parenthood than it will be for New Orleans to get equal return on CP3, so being forced into dealing the league's best point guard could be devastating. They'd better hope Trevor Ariza's really that answer nobody expects him to be and the potential of Peja's expiring deal is enticing enough for Paul Wall to stay...But who honestly believes it is?

4. San Antonio Spurs
For the first time since Tim Duncan's rookie season, (think about it, this was back when we all thought baseball players were honest athletes, had no clue who Britney Spears was, and thought the World was going to end because of a misplaced computer digit) the Spurs are a few steps removed from the title conversation. They lucked out into landing one of the best big men ever and have milked four championships out of him, but face a serious crossroads this year with their often-injured trio of stars (especially Duncan) on aging legs, their competition getting much tougher, and their roster virtually unchanged from last season. Rebuilding seems almost unfathomable and probably too drastic, but something's gonna have to give here before Timmy D's knees do. Another title's out of the question, and last year's team gave little reason to suggest a slight-shake up's a bad idea.

3. Dallas Mavericks
It's hard to fault the Mavs. They've upgraded what was already one of the best rosters in a deep Western pool and should easily win 50 games this year while being cheered on by a raucous home crowd...But beneath that sugar-coating, this Dallas team is a perennial playoff disappointment that faces an ever-shrinking window to win a title. Disco's failed more often than succeeded with assorted arrays of talent around him, and Mark Cuban's undivided attention - the catalyst that elevated this franchise from lottery doldrum to playoff staple - is clearly wandering after numerous attempts to buy other teams. Like the Spurs, they're too good of a team to be rebuilding, but their feeble playoff track record only increases their need (and unlikelihood) to outperform teams that are simply much better than them to finally get that elusive title. Another first round exit would almost certainly amount to the end of Dirk's status as a franchise player, and the tossing of this roster into the proverbial blender.

2. Denver Nuggets
The Nuggets faced a tragic obstacle last year when a terrific campaign was derailed by coach George Karl's second bout with cancer, almost directly coinciding with a nose dive that ended their season far earlier than they'd hoped. With Karl's health hanging in the balance, an already delicate situation was suddenly dropped on the pavement when stories of Carmelo Anthony's imminent departure began surfacing. Denver now must placate their displeased franchise player, while trying to move him in a market that's ulikely to return equal value, working against a ticking clock that every other GM is aware of. So while the careful maneuvering continues and 'Melo plays the waiting game, the Nuggets and their fans are consumed by uncertainy, knowing only for sure that their best player wants out. For a team that's a lock for homecourt in the West at full strength, this is no way to start the season.

1. Boston Celtics
More than any other team in the NBA, the Celtics are built for the right now. Although their best player's barely grazing his prime (and to think three years ago he was a potential liability), this team's core is more susceptible to injury and age than anyone else's. Vulnerability to fatigue and fragility only heightens the urgency of this being perhaps their last shot at another title with the seniors' squad. This team went through a vicious mid-season down swing, but entered the playoffs armed with full health and their A-game, silencing critics and supposedly better teams with a defiant run to within an untimely injury and some Ron Artest (?!?!?!?!) heroics of a title. That bitter ending should only serve as motivation on what will be a very difficult road through Miami and/or LA; the Celts probably feel as though they need to redeem themselves, or at least Kevin Garnett has probably frightened them into believing it. Not that they need any extra motivation. This season could likely be the final shot at the Finals, the last chance for this crew to build their legacies and probably the last time the Celtics will be this close to contending for a while.

...So...It's Been A While...

About four months ago, I abruptly and inexplicably stopped writing Basketball Banter, right before awards season, the playoffs, and of course the Free Agency Saga. Admittedly, my timing sucked but for the first time in my life, I just got sick of writing. I had spent weeks logging full days of incessant typing; pounding out term papers that were left far too late, "proofreading" essays for friends, and trying to throw enough stuff on here to keep things interesting. Writing was consuming my life; lines and letters were beginning to blur as words slurred and the monotony chewed at my brain. So when school ended I took a pretty impulsive break from any kind of scribing. We needed some time apart,

Over this hiatus, I've given much thought to the on-again, off-again nature of this site. It's something I love doing, but it has too often succumbed to the other stuff going on in my life, even when things needed to be said. I watched Lebron fail. I watched the cement harden around Kobe's legacy. I watched the most turbulent offseason ever wreak havoc on the NBA's balance of power and make a bold stroke in its history books. And I didn't write a word. The summer was no time to re-commit myself to writing as almost every minute I wasn't working, sleeping or at a poker table was spent enjoying the scarce Canadian summer with friends, a blunt, and a brew. Despite this, my insides were searing at the prospect of chiming in on what was unfolding. The time apart was tough.

After much hesitation and deliberation, and with the summer gearing down into another school year and eventual NBA season, I've decided to make a firm, more sustainable commitment to the Banter. You're not going to see any more of the regular features like the Power Rankings or the short-lived Water Cooler, nor am I going to be putting out several hundred words every day or two. I'm going to try and stay as on-point as possible, but with school, work and habitual gambling on the go, the time for irrelevant blogging just might not always be there. There's never a shortage of Banter-worthy issues around the Association though, so stay familiar, better yet, invest thirty seconds into signing up for Blogger. You'll be able to post comments, chirp me and call me out when I'm wrong, suggest ideas and generate some discussion about a sport we're all huge fans of. Why not?

So here we stand, four months removed from my last post but worlds apart from the NBA we once knew. After the most eventful playoffs and offseason I've ever witnessed, things done changed. Most notably, the Miami Heat have evolved from solo act to omnipotent juggernaut. Pat Riley's going to be unanimously voted GM of the Year after loading up his roster with title-hungry veterans who will flank three of the league's consensus top ten players on a potential dynasty unlike any we've seen. Shrewd move, but as a basketball fan, I have to hate it for so many reasons: the alleged pact these guys made to sign together, that boisterous unveiling party for their Big 3, the stupid talent edge they've given themselves over pretty much all competiton. It's going to make the NBA a lot less competitive and a lot less fun, especially if stars begin aligning against them like the rumoured Melo and CP3 union with Amare under the Garden lights. So yeah, fuck the Heat. I don't care if Lebron plays for them. I'll still enjoy him as a basketball player but it's impossible for me to appreciate the titles he'll eventually no doubt win in the way I wished I could.

...As far as the rest of what's unfolded over my prolonged absence, here's a not-so-objective look at the summer's winners, losers and everything in between:

THE BIG LOSERS: If you're here, you're up shit's creek, without a paddle, while on several pills.The City of Cleveland - The Cavaliers sure took a loss; they fell from contenders to fringe lottery team and had their owner add insult to his own injury with a foolish Comic Sans rallying cry to Cavs fans that got him fined and essentially guaranteed a superstar will never sign with a team he owns. But the whole city was shaken by Lebron's eloping; a legion of fans who've faced years of bitter sports disappointment were let down yet again, this time by one of their own.

The Toronto Raptors - Losing your franchise player to free agency on less-than-ideal terms is never a great way to start the season, but after the bitterness of the Bosh breakup, Toronto had looked to have made a shrewd trade with the Bobcats to significantly upgrade their depleted frontcourt....Until Michael Jordan realized he was being completely screwed and vetoed the trade at the last second, marking his first competent front office move since relinquishing his control of the Washington Wizards.

Allen Iverson - He desperately wants to play basketball for a living but might have burnt his last bridge in the NBA. Teams are denying interest in he embattled former MVP left, right and center while the offseason countdown nears one month and free agent dollars are being spent very frugally.

Chris Bosh - In the capitalist, machiavellian sense of things, Chris Bosh is a winner. He raised his precious profile immensely by signing an obscenely large contract to play a game he loves professionally for a very good team with his two best pals in a balmy tax-free paradise. In the moral, "don't be an idiot" sense of things, Chris Bosh lost the respect and admiration of myself and just about anyone else who isn't a pretentious douchebag. His entire free agency - peppered with inflammatory and immature Twitter updates - was an admitted charade, documented by a film crew almost as large as his ego, only to later remark on his lame-ass Twitter account that the "attention was nice". What a nine year-old girl. Ride Dwyane and Lebron's jock all the way to the title homie, a whole legion of fans now know you're a fucking dweeb.

THE WOSERS: As the name implies, this group are part winner, mostly loser.The New York Knicks - Amare Stoudemire and Raymond Felton? That's it? The Knicks had spent years preparing for this free agent bonanza and although they're unquestionably a better team, they have to feel like they fanned on this one. New York put all its eggs in the ability of its bright lights to attract the biggest stars, and built this offseason up to be something much bigger than it was. Regardless of what happens over the next twelve months with the Knicks having money to spare and All-Stars imminently on the move, I'm feeling slightly cheated right now if I'm a Knicks fan. Right now, any hope of Melo or CP3 is all speculation, which this team just proved will always surround them, but not necessarily amount to much.

Tracy Mcgrady - He found a job, but the murky quagmire Detroit's bogged down in isn't exactly an ideal place for a struggling superstar to revive his career. He'll be looked upon to mentor the tumultuous youngsters he'll compete for minutes with, himself having never been much for veteran savvy, coming off another injury with more than ever to prove. All the best...

Byron Scott - Again, he's probably happy just to have a job in the NBA, but you can't help but feel bad for a guy who hears the most coveted free agent ever say the team who just hired him days ago has an edge for his services, but will instead be relying on the decrepit remains of the most depressed team in pro sports.

THE JURY-HANGERS: Sometimes you just can't tell...

Lebron James - ...and then there's this guy. Hearing that Bron was going to announce his free agency decision on an hour-long TV special was pretty lame. Hearing my favorite player say he was leaving his hometown squad to form a seemingly unfair triumvirate of NBA dominance broke my heart. I felt like he took the easy way out, and largely still do (many I've spoken to agree) but it's easy to criticize when we haven't spent years going all out for a team that utimately didn't give anywhere near as much back. Lebron carried the Cavs deep into the playoffs several times with meager surroundings that were hastily thrown together in several desperate attempts to convince him Cleveland didn't suck all that much after all. He re-signed with them a few years ago and gave them a fair window to assemble a dynasty for him, something Danny and Dan were unable to deliver.

Now entering the prime of his career, Lebron wanted to truly carve out a niche in the game's annals and had clearly grown tired of individual dominance leading to mild team success.
In Miami, he's already given up money and roughly 1/3 of the spotlight for a chance to win multiple rings, but he's also given up a piece of his own legacy; he'll never fulfill the prophetic promise of leading his hometown team to a title, and now when he inevitably wins one (several?) people are already willing to toss up an asterix. Alongside these other superstars, he'll never be the hero he once was and could've become. In the same fell swoop, he became one of America's most hated athletes, perceived by millions as a diva who deserted the Cavs like a rich businessman who has a mid-life crisis and dumps his devoted wife for some bombshell who's half her age.

You could really say pretty much anything you want about Lebron James after this offseason and I'd have a hard time disagreeing. That being said, there are many facets to his complex scenario that made his Decision more difficult than any most of us will ever have to make, it's tough to relate to. Always a very polarizing figure, Lebron's only escalated his own status with this move as the Heat will undoubtedly be the talk of the NBA; they will be the most exciting team, the most featured on TV, and probably just the best, but they will also be -by a very wide margin - the most hated on. Ultimately if Lebron's Decision becomes dynastic, I'll be happy for him, but will anybody have expected any less?

Chris Paul - Maybe it's just me, but I have a feeling this guy's days in New Orleans are still numbered. His feelings about the state of the franchise changed suspiciously quickly a few weeks ago after he had apparently demanded a trade, and after watching how Phoenix completely fucked up Amare's delicate situation (and nobody say a word about them "saving money", you know what they did with that "saved money"? They acquired The Artist Formerly Known as Hedo Turkoglu for 44 millions dollars.) New Orleans and Paul would both do well to play this out while creating the impression that he's not leaving. Gone by the deadline, I'm taking bets at even money.

Amare Stoudemire - I guess the prayers of a single NBA fan who loves watching large, clumsy oafs get put on posters and Highlight of the Night reels wasn't enough as Lebron and Amare wound up on different squads, again. Stoudemire now finds himself the centerpiece of New York's much lauded rebuilding effort; the face of the Mecca. He'll once again play for the coach who he blew up under and the Knicks will be a playoff team again. Still though, after he was left out of the Miami party and remains the only star on this team, Stoudemire's summer wasn't exactly ideal...Then again, if rumours become truth and two more elite talents are ready to join him, he might come out on top of this whole mess.

Joe Johnson - Straight up, the man got paid. 126 million is a very large number, especially for a guy whose last significant basketball was an embarassing disappearing act. Johnson's re-upping makes it that much more difficult for an Atlanta team that's nowhere close to contention to maneuer towards a title. Clearly he's happy being the man on a competitive team, and the Hawks are happy to have him back after years of pathetic teams and apathetic fans, but the sad reality is that the franchise's appartent commitment to winning still probably won't amount to more than a first round dismissal.

The Chicago Bulls - Well, they finally did it; they got Carlos Boozer. The potential opportunity cost of not getting him sooner could have the Bulls front office hurting worse than Vinny Del Negro after his boss beat him up and fired him in the same trimester. The pieces were all in place for Chicago to land either Lebron or hometwon hero Dwyane Wade, (a large part of me still firmly believes that James' best choice would've been to join an unreal Bulls roster and write his chapter of NBA history in MJ's own city, creating a four-way battle for East supremacy against his South Beach buddies and two teams against whom he has playoff vendettas to settle. But that would've been too much fun) and although they're still likely a homecourt team in the East, does anybody see them winning even one against the Heat? The magnitude of what Miami did this offseason cannot be underestimated, which brings me to...

THE WINNERS: Pat Riley and Dwyane WadeWhether by secret plot and careful planning or convenient development, these two engineered a completely unanticipated coup that turned the entire sports world on its head and immediately vaulted the Miami Heat from the middle of the Eastern Conference to the top of the NBA. It's been mentioned before but bears repeating: two of the three most talented players in the league now play on the same team, along with one of its best big men. They are flanked not by young scrubs like last year's Heat, but complementary and title-hungry veterans who will likely know their roles demand little attention; seeking rings, not money or fame. They are an assembly of talent arguably unrivaled in the NBA's entire history and they will quite likely change the game as we know it.

Riley is adding a compelling layer to what was already one of basketball's most accomplished resumes. A former NBA standout who's coached three teams to finals appearances will now add a GM of the Year trophy and quite realistically several rings to the three he already owns. His status as the don dada of front office tactics is currently unquestioned as his legend growth cruises on autopilot. In hosting the free agent party, Wade became this summer's unquestioned on-court winner. He calmly, discretely went about the process and helped reel in the two biggest catches for his franchise. Yes, HIS franchise. Make no mistake about it, even amidst Lebron and Bosh (both of whom also took a giant hit in the eyes of their fans, while Wade came out looking like the true hero), this will always be Dwyane Wade's team. He was the one who put them on his back and won them a title when his new teammates' squads were still grappling with mediocrity, the one who was tempted with the World by several teams and not only chose to stay but to give Heat fans something truly special to witness. If you're not either of these guys, you're not on top of the game right now....

Unless you're Kobe Bryant. Lost in all this summer hoopla is the stern reality that Miami's road to the title still goes through the NBA's most cold-blooded assassin who just copped a fifth ring and a clean bill of health for the first time in two seasons. He's no doubt freshly motivated to take on the Superfriends; I can already envision him running suicides in a dark, empty gym with a demented fire in his eyes and that stupid Miami welcoming party playing on a TV nearby. Regardless of the Free Agency Odyssey's final chapter, Bryant is the NBA's king right now. His fifth title moves him ahead of Shaq and levels him with Magic and Kareem (in purple and gold at least); many are now making the serious and legitimate argument that he's the greatest in a very long line of great Los Angeles Lakers. It's funny how shit turns out. Fourteen years ago, Kobe Bryant was the naive high-schooler who wasn't ready for the NBA, ten years ago he was the Jordan wannabe who could never live up to the hype, six years ago he was the alleged rapist who spurned a dynasty, and just three years ago he was the selfish teammate who couldn't stand his shallow surroundings and needed to be traded. The hate has rained on Bryant his entire career - his fucking hometown even booed him as the All-Star MVP - but his indomitable work ethic and respect for the game has ultimately turned him into such an excellent player, and winner, that all we can do is respect his shine.

Some are saying if he beats the Heat he might be the greatest of all time. I think I speak for most of us when I wish him the sincerest of luck. Only two months 'til the season tips off...

POWER RANKINGS!!!

Another weekend of Madness has passed leaving two somewhat surprising squads (and one complete shocker) punching tickets to Indianapolis, with just one #1 left. John Wall's inability to outplay a backup point guard put an abrupt end to his college career, though this means little to the bottom-feeders in the big leagues, hoping they're the ones who luck out and snare the right to draft him.

Speaking of which, there's encouraging news out of New Jersey where the Nots have managed to reach nine wins, ensuring that they won't (solely) hold the claim as the worst team in NBA history. They've got a very weak schedule down the stretch and could realistically grab #10, but it probably won't be enough to drag them out of the Power Rankings basement. At least it should ease tensions enough that team CEOs aren't screaming at disgusted fans a few feet from the court. Check out where the contenders to the title and to the most disappointed athlete in America sit in the season's final Rankings:

30 (30) New Jersey Nets
See above. I'm done with this mess.

29 (29) Minnesota Timberwolves
They've been doing their best to keep every lottery ball they can, losing 16 straight and staving off the Remains of the Wiz. I'm secretly hoping they snag the first pick; after they drafted 2 point guards in the top 6 last year then gave Sessions $35 mil to collect bench splinters, it'd be all too appropriate.

28 (24) Washington Wizards
Not surprisingly, the izards (they haven't seen a W in 15 games) have gone from bad to worse following the dismantling of their challenged core at the deadline. At least Gilbert managed to avoid jail time and will reportedly be back with the team next year, but this season was an unfathomable disaster in Washington.

27 (25) Detroit Pistons
Speaking of disasters, the Pistons made what they thought was a huge free agent splash last summer, but turned out to be an unmemorable waste of money, shackling a team that has little financial flexibility and was a bitter disappointment this year. They've dropped eight in a row, including a beatdown for win #9 by the listless Nets.

26 (26) Golden State Warriors
The emergence of Steph Curry as a dynamic scorer and playmaker was one of the few bright spots for this lost team. They were rarely healthy, rarely cohesive, rarely winning. Find a big man who can hit more than 15% of his foul shots and maybe, just one defensive-minded player in the offseason. With so many intriguing players being recklessly benched, how hard can it be?

25 (23) Philadelphia 76ers
Another year, more disappointment; more inconsistency, more attitude issues, more of Elton Brand's bad knee, more drama with Allen Iverson. Eddie Jordan's head is apparently guillotine-bound as the Sixers head back to the drawing board (and the lottery).

24 (22) Sacramento Kings
The Kings struggled to keep up their blazing .500 pace far past December, but have to be conisdred the winners of last summer's draft and hawked Carl Landry, who's been a much better fit than Kevin Martin. Things weren't all that great in Sactown this year, but could've - and should've - been much worse.


23 (28) New York Knicks
Things played out exactly as we'd expected them to in New York this year; the team struggled often, showed occasional spurts of youthful exuberance, and was largely overlooked by fans and the media alike, who were all so concerned about what lies next for the Knicks. One thing's for sure; you can count on them being more than a few notches higher the next time these rankings get done up.

22 (27) Indiana Pacers
The League's Most Irrelevant Team (trademark pending) has somehow climbed all the way to tenth in the East, winning 6 of 10 and sabotaging the slight chance that the team with the biggest point guard void in the Lottery will wind up with John Wall.

21 (21) Los Angeles Clippers
This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. Blake was supposed to be healthy; Baron was supposed to care. The playoffs were supposed to be in focus, rather than faintly drifting away in the peripheral. Oh wait - it's the Clippers. When Griffin finally suits up alongside whoever their cap space lures (presumably a small forward), they might finally have the pieces in place for a legit team, untill then, all we can do is sahke our heads.

20 (16) New Orleans Hornets
Clearly the Chris Paul injuries were devastating to a team that had trouble winning consistently with him in the lineup, but the breakout production of Darren Collison was one of the year's most pleasant surprises. I also had no Busta Rhymes was so good at basketball, but he was a great late draft pickup who's given them consistent explosive scoring; something the Hornets sorely lack. Only one more year 'til Peja comes off the books guys, be patient...

19 (19) Houston Rockets - All in all, this wasn't the worst season for the Rockets, but in retrospect, the more I think about it, they got screwed at the deadline. T-Mac's coming off the books for a league-high $23 million, and Carl Landry was one of the L's most underrated players; their record in his absence, despite huge numbers from Brooks and Scola, speaks for itself. Given their preseason prognosis, staying the playoff chase as long as they did was a stretch, hopefully Yao's career isn't over and this'll have a happier ending next year.

18 (14) Toronto Raptors - Another disappointing season is almost over for the Raptors, whether they're banished to the lottery or swept by the Cavs in the first round. A lack of toughness and shitty defense was again fatal to a team that scored very well, but made it too easy for opposition night after night. They enter their most pivotal offseason since 2000 with little room to maneuver financially (anyone looking to shell out $10mil/year for Hedo?...Anyone?...Mr Cuban?) and their best player clearly looking for an out. Just another season in T-Dot.

17 (12) Chicago Bulls
The up-again, down-again rollercoaster of the Bulls' season might be good enough to sneak into the playoffs, but a repeat of their epic duel with Boston last year is a near impossibility. They've lost too much offensive firepower with the departures of Ben Gordon and John Salmons, and their frontcourt's about as deep as a Kei$ha song, so the money they'll save when Warrick and Alexander come off the cap will be much needed.


16 (17) Memphis Grizzlies
The Grizz were a hell of a lot better than we gave them credit for; Memphis has a talented franchise that will only improve with more time together and the retention of Rudy Gay this summer. Zach Randolph's revival was as unexpected as Marc Gasol becoming one of the Association's best centers, leaving this team far better off than the other party in the early-season divorce.

15 (18) Charlotte Bobcats
Well, they've done it. It's not a mathematical certainty, but barring a We Are Marshall-type plane crash, the Bobcats are finally popping their playoff cherry. Kudos to Captain Jack, whose early-season acquisition was crucial to this team's success, finally turning things around for him after years of coaching arguments and violent crimes.

14 (20) Miami Heat
They've been on a run as of late, pushing back into a safe playoff spot by winning 8 of 10 and likely pulling one of the weaker two top-seeds in the first round. They're just another of the many teams waiting on the offseason; with no realistic plans to play into May, but a very serious dilemma awaiting them after they hang 'em up.

13 (15) Milwaukee Bucks
Raise your hand if you slotted the Bucks into the fifth seed at the beginning of the season. Or in early February. Now put your hand down because you're a fucking liar. The addition of John Salmons sparked the League's most dramatic turnaround and finally yielded some success for Scott Skiles' abusive father approach to coaching. They enter the playoffs as one of the hottest teams, and arguably the most likely to pull off a first round upset.

12 (10) San Antonio Spurs
They're putting it together: that annual late-season run we've always counted on the Spurs for. Only this season it's been late and subdued; hampered by an injury to Tony Parker and the inevitable age factor. Geroge Hill's playing well, Ginobili's been unreal, but for the Spurs to beat a top-4 team over seven games, they'll have to play basketball within a far smaller error margain than they've gotten used to this year.

11 (11) Portland Trailblazers
Let's hear it for the Blazers, who nobody could blame for missing the playoffs, but clawed through more injuries than a Saw movie to give their fans something to cheer for. It's unfortunate that their upward mobility (and Greg Oden's career) have been halted by continuous setbacks, but they should find a spot near the front of a church, not too close to the Rockets, and pray for their big man's convalescence.

10 (8) Oklahoma City Thunder
Regardless of how they perform in the playoffs, even being there is huge for this team who were merely looking to build on last season's late progress and step forward. Instead, they ran the hundred in 9.9 and sat comfortably in the playoffs all season, showcasing one of the most enviable stables of young talent in the League. Kevin Durant's been talked about a lot (not that its undue), but let's keep an eye on Russell Westbrook and James Harden in the playoffs, could be one of the best backcourts around in a couple years.

9 (7) Atlanta Hawks
The Hawks did manage to get better this year; although the margins are far smaller at the top of the conference. They're a real Wild Card heading into the playoffs, the one team that I really can't decide if I should pencil in for a first-round exit or a trip to the Conference Finals. Regardless, they're a step below contender status and in danger of losing their best player - who's a lot more important to their team than most people realize - in a few months, which would really clip their wings(sorry, too easy).

8 (13) Boston Celtics
After playing sub-.500 ball for a little too long, the Celtics have finally woken up and (aside from yesterday's meltdown at home to the Spurs) look healthier and more focused than the team that slid down these rankings last month. They'll get a slight benefit of my doubt because everyone knows they had very little to prove in the regular season, but this Celts team is historically late getting it going in the playoffs, so they'd like to be at their peak over the next few weeks.

7 (11) Phoenix Suns
Heating up at the right time, the Suns are eating the opposition with Stoudemire on a complete tear and Robin Lopez providing a big body who can lock down the middle with length and size while still running the floor to their track-meet standards. No matter how well they play right now though, this story's been told before, under better direction and plot development, there's no reason to expect anything more this time.

6 (6) Utah Jazz
The first of three teams that really doesn't want to serve as the Lakers' unofficial #2, the Jazz have been unable to separate themselves from the rest of the second tier to establish a consensus favorite to join LA in the West Finals. Boozer's apparently had a change of heart and "wants to stay" in Utah, sparked by their recent improvement. Dangerous words.

5 (3) Dallas Mavericks - Brought back down to Earth after their post-trade euphoria, Dallas has been struggling defensively down the stretch. They've gone 6-4 over their last ten, losing some very winnable games, including a clap-back at home for that beatdown they put on the Knicks a few months back. They're still talented enough on paper to make a deep run, but beating teams like Portland and Boston with consistency is the key to the playoff success they've failed to attain.

4 (5) Denver Nuggets - You wouldn't think Denver wants the 2-seed either given the way they've played over the past month with Melo and Chauncey back at full strength. While Coach Karl struggles with yet another cancer bout (all the best, George), this team has been sturggling with consistency in the offense they've become reknowned for. They've got the talent to challenge the best teams, but the hunger and the discipline remain to be seen.

3 (4) Orlando Magic - Statement games. Orlando seems to be winning a lot of them. Cleveland, LA, Boston, Atlanta (well...almost). If the favorite were to be judged on performance vs. their roomates in the NBA penthouse, it'd probably be these guys. They've struggled to find consistency through backcourt injuries, but they've showed up for the games that matter, leading me to believe that they'll be a dangerous team next month.

2 (1) Los Angeles Lakers
The usual late-season Bynum injury again leaves them vulnerable in the middle, where despite his skill, Pau Gasol can be completely abused by someone like Dwight Howard, or Shaq, or Nene, or Brendan Haywood (okay, maybe that's taking it a little far, but you get the idea). Add this to the standard Kobe-shoots-too-much beef, the suddenly underperforming bench, the recent string of losses/narrow escapes...This LA team's not looking nearly as scary as they did last year.

1 (2) Cleveland Cavaliers
They welcomed Z back to a team that was cruising without a real center, completing the outright theft of Jamison and bolstering what's suddenly (seems like just yesterday us Cavs fans were bitching every game about the talent disparity between Bron and his minions) the NBA's deepest team. Cleveland's playing the best ball anywhere right now, and still waiting on Diesel's return. There's no reason to assume Lebron would want to walk away from this team, and in the same breath no reason to assume he won't if they don't win a title. So, being a Cavs fan, they'd better live up to this billing.

Coping with the Hangover...at the Water Cooler

Ugh. It's been a slow start to the week. If you're like me, you're still reeling from the weekend; a couple birthday celebrations led to a drink or twelve, and very little sleep. As if that weren't overwhelming enough, we were all the while enduring the onslaught of March Madness' first round and its non-stop clusterfuck of action. There were an overwhelming number of upsets over the NCAA tournament's first weekend (at least you're not the only one with a busted bracket), leaving an interesting mix of perennial favorites and complete nobodies in the Sweet 16. It was a great run; close to forty hours of top-tier televised basketball in one weekend's a thrill unmatched anywhere else, but I'm feeling a little overserved, like I just left Ponderosa on a serious munchies run. Or maybe like Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in that scene from Wedding Crashers where they're collecting dust on the Washington Monument steps; bathing in the glory of their own excess. It was awesome, but I'm seriously burnt out and could use a change of gears for a second; a time out, a little water...leading us to, well, you know.

- Who impressed this weekend? The #1 seeds (with an obvious exception) came out pretty strong, especially in the second round with Syracuse and Kentucky delivering the kind of statement games that would startle any field, let alone one as, well...for lack of a better word, weak as this one. St Mary's look to be the safest bid for a Cinderella (God that sounds stupid. I used that term solely to point out how dumb it is) at this point, balancing nice shooting and stingy defense with the rock-solid play of Omar Samhan in the post. Please believe I'm rooting for them. And it's spelt P-o-ndexter, better remember. Then we'll get to Farokhmanesh.

- Back in the NBA, things are heating up for the home stretch as teams jostle for position now that the teams advancing to the postseason are more or less set. There's still room for Chicago to sneak up on the 8 seed (never underestimate the ability of the Raptors to blow it down the stretch) especially with the recent returns of Joakim Noah and Derek Rose to key an 11th hour push. Out West, the Spurs and Blazers continue to fight for the right to lose to the Lakers in the first round, while Denver seems to be the only team who really wants the bridesmaid's dress with Utah and Dallas beginning to lose the furious momentum they built up last month. Myself, I'm closely following the Nets and their backwards race against the wrong side of history. Shit, they didn't even look like the League's worst team THIS year...

- More irrelevantly, it seems Dwight Howard's feelings are a little hurt after a recent public lashing from Skip Bayless came on the heels of his over-hyped rivalry with Shaquille O'Neal hit (what I hope is) its apex a few months ago:

"I think everybody has a problem with anything I do on the floor. We got to the Finals last year with the same way I played this year. I'm not going to change who I am, I'm not going to change my personality. I'm not going to change anything about me. I've been playing basketball since I was three years old. I never changed one part of myself in this game. I've gotten a lot better since I've been playing basketball, but one thing that has always been consistent is I'm going to have fun out there. Basketball brings me joy. I don't care what people say about me smiling too much or having too much fun. Hey, I'm doing something I love. I'm going to be thankful and have fun doing it. ...

"I don't know what he could possibly say. Scottie Pippen said things, also Skip (Bayless). I know in order to win you gotta work hard and that's one thing that I do. I work extremely hard on both ends. I might have nights where I might not shoot the ball as well but I'm still going to work hard, I'm still going to play defense and do all the small things. Numbers don't lie...

Only people that we have to listen to are our coaches. Those are the guys that get paid to make us better players. Skip, he's called everybody out. He's called LeBron "Prince James." LeBron's one of the best players in the world, and he doesn't think LeBron is good. It's somebody just talking."

It's easy to see why Dwight feels he needs to be on the defensive, but I hope he gets used to the fact that this kind of criticism's just part of the spotlight, especially as a young player. People are going to call you out, start beefs, nitpick at your game and question your leadership; it's the nature of superstardom, you think Kobe, Vince and T-Mac haven't heard the hate out of everyone from players to analysts to the dude who's ten beers deep and two rows behind the visitors' bench?

Dwight, you're (apparently) a nice guy and pretty ridiculous basketball player. Don't change who you are, don't change your personality, but try delivering that offensive set you always give the Cavs with a little more consistency.

- Even more irrelevantly, some journalist in Miami wasted Dwyane Wade's time with a question about whether a shout out in the Jigga's patriotic anthem Empire State of Mind would factor into his free agency decision this summer. As flattered as Wade was, there's no music good enough to inspire someone to want to sign with the Nets.

This Week's Water Cooler

What's up everyone? Sorry I didn't get anything up this weekend; apparently you can't ignore your overdue internet bill forever. I had planned to spend most of yesterday writing a preview for some college tournament that's starting this week, but instead sacrificed about 3 hours of my life to the inefficiency of bank clearances and cable company payment processes. If this is what real life's like then I'm cool just staying in school. That's all straightened out tho and Basketball Banter's back in all its couch-surfing glory for another deep run into the NCAA Tournament. Before we dive into the Madness however, let's take a little breather from our hectic lives and chill out at the Water Cooler:

- First and foremost, the playoff races are close to over. The Ailblazers have finally strung enough healthy bodies together to put some space between themselves and the Western Conference Stragglers. Valiant efforts by the Rockets, Grizzlies and Hornets, who all battled varying degrees of injury and dysfunction to stay in the hunt, but unless the Spurs suffer a memorable meltdown (and as awful as they've been playing, who really believes this will happen?) it's time for a little high-stakes lottery. The East, while not exactly set in stone, seems to be about finished. Despite the best efforts of the Raptors, the Chicago Bulls have been sucking like a Hoover; their best two players injured, their losing streak at 7. Canadian basketball fans had better hope that's enough to seal their fate; at least with a playoff appearance Bosh might agree to a sign and trade.

- Gilbert Arenas managed to sneak out of David Stern's doghouse long enough to scribble a couple-hundred words for Esquire about - what else - what went down with his boy Javaris during that fateful locker-room mishap. His take's kind of funny, in typical Gilbert fashion, and while we can all have a good laugh in hindsight, let's not forget the monumental stupidity of what transpired here. Definitely worth checking out.

Meanwhile, Arenas also announced his intentions to change his number to 6 next season. Was there rampant speculation as to why? Reckless accusations of dishonorable motives? Nobody

seemed to care. Let's keep it that way.

- Speaking of Esquire, this might be one of the best ideas ever. Probably way behind fire but just ahead of the wheel in a historical context. Don't sleep on Adriana Lima out of the 4-seed; I still don't know what she seed in Marko Jaric, but between the massive paycheck and the supermodel wife, dude's a serious contender for Luckiest Man Alive.

- ...And the good news just keeps on coming: the NBA Jam trailer just came out. Looks sick.

- Tracy McGrady: ‘I Know I’m Not Healthy’. Amazing revelations. This is truly compelling stuff.

- The Los Angeles Clippers, speaking realistically about making a run at Lebron this summer (insert requisite punchline here), finally strayed from ineptitude by severing ties with Mike Dunleavy, the man who's become reknowned around the NBA for doing just enough not to get himself fired. Apparently not anymore. Clearly this is a step in the right direction for the Empty Clipps, but counting on them to stagger backwards soon is an even-money bet.

This weekend, the Madness will consume us all. I'll be doing live notes for most of the first round to stay tuned...

This Week's Water Cooler

It's Wednesday. You're deeply mired in the mid-week doldrums; work stacked above your head, too far removed from last weekend to be re-vitalized by it, not close enough to Friday to taste your freedom yet. You've got a murderous headache, it's raining harder than Dale Ellis outside, your fifth coffee just isn't doing the trick and by the boss' mood today, it's evident that things with the Mrs. haven't been at their best. It feels like you've been on the clock for many hours, and you reluctantly glance at your watch to find that it's only 9:30. Damn... As you reach for the pre-drafted resignation letter in your bottom drawer, you somehow manage to fight off every impulse in your aching body, take a deep breath, stand up and calmly stride over to that holy shrine of useless gossip, trivial ranting, and the rare token of indispensible wisdom. It's time for a break at the Water Cooler.

- While we're on the topic of beverages, it appears his daughter's ailments are far from the only tragedy plaguing the life of Allen Iverson these days. Allegations by Philadelphia-based NBA journalist Steven A Smith - a personal friend of Iverson's - point to AI being a problem alcoholic and gambler, whose life appears to be on a slippery downward slope. Iverson's responded to these developments only through his Twitter account, acknowledging that he's going through hardships (without elaborating) and thanking his fans for their support. Although I've had some very harsh words for Allen about how he's managed his legacy(I'm sure, of course, that he's read them many times and seriously taken them to heart), I can't help but feel for the guy. Iverson's had to abruptly face the cold reality that he's no longer a dominant basketball player, which has been his life for as long as he can remember. A steep fall from grace can really mess someone up, and despite (or perhaps becasue of) his reclusiveness, it's clear that things aren't A-OK for AI (alright, that was lame). All we can do is wish the best for him as he soldiers on, and hope that this intervention can stay amongst friends instead of evolving into a public meldodrama.

- Moving from something completely un-funny to something that might be slightly funny (or completely hilarious) depending on your disposition. Blazers center Ghostface Przybilla, recovering from season-ending knee surgery, managed to re-injure himself, not on the treadmill, not in rebounding drills, but by slipping the shower, just the latest in a long line of devastating blows to Portland's health this year. As unfortunate and terrible as this is, the irony of this a) happening to the Blazers and b) not happening to Greg Oden, is pure gold.

- Interesting work from my main man Frank Hughes, who sees some confusion for whichever team happens to land John Wall's services. Of all the teams with any hope of nabbing the first pick, only Indiana (and really, who wants to see Wall play there?) hasn't made deep financial or developmental commitments at the one-spot, so he might have to share a spotlight or be forced out of position. It'll be an interesting dilemma, but the lottery winners, if they are crazy enough to trade Wall's rights, should have no shortage of enticing offers. God, I hope it's the T-Wolves.

(Also in the same link, check out Frank's take on Jordan's new ownership of the Bobcats. Reailty bites.)

- Speaking of Jordan, of course he will. It's only a matter of time before they acquire Tyler Hansbrough, sign Joe Forte to replace Flip Murray, and formally apply for a move to Chapel Hill.
- Michael Finley is now a Boston Celtic, marking just the third time in NBA history that a team has suited up four players with 1000 games on the 'ol odometer. There's plenty of stances to take on the experience vs. youth debate, but the way Doc Rivers' squad's been playing these days, he's not happy about that stat.

- History was made yesterday when the Warriors announced that F/C Andris Biedrins would be missing the remainder of the season to undergo surgery on a torn abdominal muscle. Biedrins' latest injury cements his dubious honor as the worst single-season free-throw shooter the NBA has ever seen, hitting on 4 of 25 attempts for a scintillating 16% clip. Somewhere, Joakim Noah is smiling.

- On a closing note, I'll leave you with this: With the reigning champs looking very human and a number of teams seemingly ready to seize the crown, could The Larry O'Brien Trophy be more up for grabs right now than it was all last decade? Discuss.

Good luck surviving 'til the weekend everyone. Don't sleep on the Bucks. Peace.

Game Notes: Lakers @ Magic

Nine months ago, the Los Angeles Lakers wrote the latest chapter in a rather storied history, winning their 15th championship over the ambitious Orlando Magic. Since then, neither team has shown the kind of consistent play that makes one think they'll surely meet again for the title. As both try to hit their stride for the season's final stretch, their paths collide in south Florida, the second game in a Sunday quadruple-header (!)...Almost makes up for the curling. We pick things up midway through the first, Lakers are leading 12-10 (had to eat)

- Vince Carter. Big offseason shift from Hedo Turkoglu...Definitely a better player, just maybe not a better fit in Orlando. He needs to be far more aggressive than he's been on offense, and has shown more of it in the first 5 minutes of this game than the first 3 quarters against Cleveland the other week.

- Dwight puts the kind of swat on Ron Artest that will stick with him for the rest of the game. In related news, Artest finally crossed into the RodmanHair realm of insanity, rocking "defense" written in three different languages...in Laker yellow and purple. Some things just never change.

- With Bynum on the bench in foul trouble, the Magic are assaulting the Lakers inside; Pau's (unsurprisingly) not putting up much of a fight against Dwight...Luckily for LA, Kobe's shaking off a stomach virus and starting 5-7 on an array of jumpers and nice post moves. I don't hear Pau complaining right now.

- Another monster dunk for Dwight as he shakes off three Lakers trying to deny the entry pass. Gasol's completely helpless, but he's saved by the whistle as Dwight picks up his 2nd foul at the other end.

- Carter keeps attacking, drawing contact on a strong drive for - get this - his fifth trip to the line. No, I haven't misplaced this, it's really still the first quarter.

- ABC's mercilessly plugging the Oscars in anticipation of their broadcast tonight. Really hope they cut this out; I care about Mike Breen's opinion of Avatar less than Gene Shalit's 6th Man favorites.

- VC for three! Haven't seen this Vince since '02; he's got 15 in the first.

- Pietrus smothers Kobe's quarter-ending attempt; Orlando up 31-24 after one.

- The Polish Hammer falls hard on Lamar Odom; LA's just being abused in the paint.

- Mickael Pietrus might be to a season what Robert Horry is to a game. Their x-factor in last year's playoffs; he was nowhere to be found earlier in the year, has recently come out of his shell and opens this game with a few nice jumpers and some impressive D on Kobe.

- Howard checks in.

- Howard picks up a third foul.

- Howard checks out.

- ...Good thing Gortat's havin' a time against an LA D that's confirming every theory about them being soft inside.

- Jameer Nelson and Derek Fisher are being soft outside on the other hand, netting a pair of silky jumpers from long range...Ron Ron tries to join the party and tosses up two horrendous 3's on the same possession. 48-44 Orlando.

- Vince nets a runner in traffic after leaving Artest in his dust. His first bucket of the second quarter with 1:50, but he's above his season average and is perfect from the field and charity stripe.

- Gasol makes up for being a daisy down low, running the floor like a gazelle, trailing a Fisher/Bryant break for a nice transition dunk.

- As the half winds down, a confused clusterfuck leads to a commonplace bricked 3 from Artest. 52-48 Orlando at the half; Dwight's played 11 minutes. All is not at peace in the Zen Garden.

- The Oscar assault continues at halftime with "Dwight Howard's Best Picture"...the un-nominated Law Abiding Citizen. Still a badass movie tho; Gerard Butler verges on Liam Neeson-in-Taken-I'm-the-Coldest-Mother-F***er-Alive status.

- "Can that MyTouch bring me some more lemonade?" - Charles Barkley

- Good interview between Magic and Kevin Durant; I'm really stoked for next month when he'll be starring in the main event instead of the halftime show...and the Thunder's increased TV presence next year.

- Back to the game; Carter wets a wide-open three after a Kobe miss. Bryant and Matt Barnes exchange words under the hoop and get hit with double T's. Bryant, clearly with a score to settle, stares Barnes down the whole way upcourt and fires a blank from the baseline as soon as he touches the ball.

- After 3 straight misses, Bryant mixes it up, feeding Bynum on a cut through the lane for an easy dunk. Kinda wish Kobe would do this more often; he's an All-Star just waiting to happen.

- Down at the other end, Barnes claps back with a putback slam in Kobe's mug, where he hangs, jumps up screaming in Bryant's face, and somehow Dwight Howard picks up a T for subtly muttering something at the ref...2 minutes later and Barnes is still trying to fuck with Kobe, faking a pass off Bryant's face on an inbound. Bryant doesn't flinch. Barnes is putting in an impressive effort...to be benched/ejected.

- Artest continues his crappy shooting, muscling by Vince only to shank an open layup. LA still trails; 61-57. Riveting sideline interview with "Boogie", the barber responsible for the abomination on Ron Ron's head; apparently the script on his skull is Japanese, Hebrew and Hindi...Might help to explain the confusion with which Artest has been playing today.

- The $126 Million Dollar Man hits a baseline three to send the crowd into a frenzy and put the Magic up eight. Ya, Rashard Lewis, streaky shooter, questionable defender, top-10 NBA salary. They regularly hand out such contracts and wonder why they're losing $400 million this year...

- Kobe's disappeared from this game; three points since the first quarter. Lakers trail by ten with 2:30 in the third. And Whit Eboy nails an icy three, the hits keep coming.

-Bryant finally makes a nice dish to Jordan Farmar on the wing in transition...for an airballed trey. Kobe then clears out a defender in the post, draws coverage, and kicks to a lane-slicing Lamar Odom...for a dunk he takes off early for and shanks before falling awkwardly. Perhaps this ball-hogging thing isn't such a bad idea.

- Rashard for three! And one! Maybe he is worth all that money! Brick at the line. Ok maybe not.

- Third quarter comes to a close; if LA can't wake up and outscore Orlando by ten on the road over the next twelve minutes, they'll have their first three game losing streak in two years.

- Always nice having Jeff commentate a game that Stan's coaching..."Normally he's the worst third-quarter interview in the history of NBA coaching". What the f***.

- Kobe finally hits his first field goal since the first quarter; ironically a well-contested 20-foot baseline jumper to beat the shot clock. On the next play he works Pietrus in the post for a turnaround and suddenly it's a six point game...Enter Dwight.

- Odom wets a baseline jumper over Lewis. Down to four, might have a game here folks.

- ...Should've known this was coming; live from Orlando, it's the Van Gundys! Lebron wins Best Actor for the fifth time today. I need a Kit Kat.

- Shannon Brown nails, you guessed it, a baseline jumper. Down to two. Stan's visibly unnerved.

- Howard stops the bleeding; feeding Nelson for a layup out of a smothering double-team. Not to be outdone, Kobe draws his won double and dishes to Gasol for a dunk.

- Gasol's quickly deflated as he gets tangled with Howard on the offensive glass, stops to glare about the no call, then rushes back downcourt in time to pick up a flagrant while hopelessly trying stop a Dwight cram. LA trails 81-74.

- A peculiar call (offensive goal tending) on a perfect lob to Pietrus off an inbound. Didn't know you could goaltend an alley-oop, neither did any of the commentators.

- The Mamba's starting to wake up; Kobe buries a trey in Barnes' grill, then drives at Howard to draw his fifth foul.

- Milk carton: Vince Carter

- Howard turns a Nelson airball into two points off a tip. Kobe takes advantage of Howard's foul situation, hitting a smooth jumper over him off the switch.

- After a Vince sighting for a slashing layup; Fisher wets a three to pull LA within one...or make that two, guess his foot was on the line. Meanwhile, Vince is trying to end things as they started, driving into three Lakers for another trip to the line. Magic up 87-83 with 2:45 left.

- Kobe to the rack again. Unguardable. After a Dwight and-one, he accidentally tips a Kobe miss into his own net while battling with Gasol.

- A lost shuffle on defense leaves...Matt Barnes (!) wide open for three...icyyyy. Potential dagger? Magic up six with 1:10 left.

- Bryant abuses Barnes and draws what should be Dwight Howard's sixth foul coming over on help. Gasol cleans up the miss to keep LA alive.

- Barnes sets a no-called dirty screen on Fisher, who retaliates by chasing him down and shoving him, resulting in...a double foul? The strange officiating continues. When I wrote about the NBA needing to clean up the Donaghy mess better, this was exactly what I was talking about.

- After Howard takes care of business at the free throw line, Bryant wets a nasty three over two defenders to bring LA within two with 26 left. Lakers foul, Nelson splits...it all comes down to...A Kobe three! For the tie!....No hold up again, it's only a deuce.

- Vince gets sent to the line with 9.7 left...where he misses his first free throw of the game, leaving the door open.

- LA curiously declines to use their final timeout, Barnes defends Kobe's inevitable shot well and the Lakers are now proud owners of a three-game losing streak.

A Club Worth Joining

What's up everyone, hope the weekend's going a little better for you so far than it's been for Rodney Stuckey; glad to see he's alright. Also wanna (somewhat belatedly) wish the best of luck to the teams competing in the AUS basketball playoffs this weekend, and the worst of ills to the organizers of the Tim Hortons Brier, who ousted this cherished annual event for my hometown with a fucking curling tournament.

After I spent my last post shamelessly shredding one man's efforts to produce an accurate, thought-provoking piece of literature, I only figured it fair to share some of the good.

The other day, my boy Duncan shot me a link to Club Trillion, a basketball diary by Ohio State 12th man Mark Titus. Why Club Trillion? Well, Titus is hilariously honest and the name references the box score of a player who spent one minute on the court and recorded no statistics. Making light of his somewhat complementary role on the team helped Titus gain notoriety, but it's no shock that his site's become extremely popular. His articulate irreverence puts an entertaining spin on his perspectives from the proverbial "best seat in the house", and although he needs to censor himself for obvious reasons, is blunt and uncompromising. If you enjoy basketball and/or good writing, his blog definitely belongs in your rotation.

Stay tuned over the next couple days; I'll be back in action early next week. Enjoy the beers, the ball (...the curling if you must...) and the rest of the weekend. Peace.