Get Your Popcorn: The 2010 NBA All-Star Game, (not really) Live on Basketball Banter!

In about 5 minutes, the NBA's midseason classic will be getting underway. The 2010 All-Star Game has been billed a spectacle unlike any before. Mark Cuban's idiotic hyperbole ("It will make the Super Bowl look like a bar mitzvah") aside, this will be a huge event for the NBA; its 90,000+ attendees make up the largest crowd ever to watch a basketball game. Despite some key injuries, it's also the best collection of talent on a court together this year...and after the joke of a dunk contest we all labored through last night, us NBA fans are hungry for some highlights. After some Usher-led intros, tipoff's getting set, so let's get involved:

- West wins the tip. Quick Nash to Nowitzki for an 18-foot jumper. Early MVP favorite? After a Lebron miss, another Dirk jumper...not convinced yet?

- A whole lot of jumpers so far. A couple airballs. Melo just made the first move to the hoop but couldnt hit the rim either...Lebron finally responds with a trey to put the East on the board.

- Amare puts back a yet another bricked jumper for the game's first dunk. Not to be outdone, Dwyane comes back off the backboard and onto Steve Nash.

- The game's starting to open up a bit now, the West is driving, dunking...hahaha aaaand Dwight hits a 3. Career first? Then he bricks one off the dribble next time up court? Stan must have a good sense of humor. He gets back to business quickly, pinning Melo 10 seconds later, then finishing with an and-1 tomahawk at the other end.

- Apparently the behemoth this game's taking place in will also host the Super Bowl and Final Four in the next 3 years. Jerry Jones is doin' his damn best to get his $1.5 billion worth.

- 5 left in the first and we're knotted at 20. The refs are calling a clean game so far, couple surprising whistles. The East is still bricking a lot of jumpers, the latest offender: 3-Point champ Paul Pierce.

- Dallas heroes collide as Chris Bosh cleans up an inevitable East brick and puts a disheartening crowning on the Dirkster. Bad news for Diggler all around as Melo's doing his best to stymie the MVP early; he's already halfway back downcourt by the time his 11th, 12th and 13th points fall through the net.

- We hear from Craig Sager; haven't seen his suit yet.

- The East's jumper woes are finally cured by...Rajon Rondo? Somehow they're up.

- Gasol gets mugged by Bosh and Howard and the refs give him a goaltending call? The elephants (..can't really call them zebras..) are really earning those paychecks tonight. 37-34 East after one.

- As the 2nd quarter starts....shit Deron can get UP!..sorry, the broadcast highlights the elevated court the game's being played on, a recent trend in new arenas. I dont get this. Has 'severe injury' written all over it if a player chases a ball out of bounds...not that we'll see that tonight tho...

- The boys are starting to put on a show now; Wade's dunking on everyone, Deron's pushing everything, tossing and catching alley-oops, really making the most of it now that he's finally here.

- TNT's about to air a segment called "What It Takes to Be an All-Star". In the West? Don't get injured. in the East? A playoff team.

- D-Fish in the house. The NBAPA pres is on hand with more nervous kids than a Neverland Ranch party for a special 'NBA Cares' presentation. Couldn't they do the CSR bit at halftime?

- Back to the game; Derek Rose gets loose in transition...Deron to KD for a huge cram...DWade puts down his 27th dunk of the night, a nice slashign tomahawk. Been a nice game so far....not enough to make upfor last night but its a start.

- Finally we get a Craig sighting sideline with Kevin Durant. His attire's surprisingly subdued this evening; a red blazer dapperly adorned by what appears to be a black suede suit. He's got these stupid shiny things on his tie though...he just couldn't resist.

- We also have our first Chris Kaman sighting. Enjoy it folks, won't last long.

- The East is starting to hit a few jumpers now, has a few nice transition buckets, and a 7-point lead at the half. Melo's got 17, but the East has 4 guys in double figures. Between the lax D and these guys being the best players on the planet, you have to think the home team's gonna start finding the net in the second half.

- Halftime performers: Alicia Keys and Shakira...Well done, Mr Stern.


- Shakira ascends to the stage in a cage, has apparently hired Britney Spears' old wardrobe manager, and the camera's giving ample attention to her..um..ass(ets). I can't stand the song she's singing, but still enjoying this as much as the game.


- Now for some Songs in A Minor. This lady's got one of the smoothest voices out there. Unfortunately, Alicia went a more conserative route with her attire...still though...damn.


- USA Basketball introduces their squad for the upcoming World Championships, offering up what has to be a somewhat sarcastic "we wish the best of luck to all teams competing in Turkey" while lining up the best players in tonight's game and flanking them with some of the nicest young guns in the L.


- Alright, 40 minutes later, it's back to the game. Opens with...another ugly brick from the East.


- Dwight decides to man the point and goes coast to coast for a dotted-line slam. Shaq can say what he wants about the guy but he's a fucking monster and he knows how to put on a show. That being said, nobody should try to punk Superman's nickname, he sparked that beef.


- Wade to D12 for a nice one hand slam on the break. His head's well above the rim on the replay...with the East up 14, Howard's suddenly making an MVP push.


- Lebron airballs a trey...and just when I was about to write something slanderous, he catches a feed from Wade, clutches a reverse slam and sits on Tim Duncan's head...and serves a nice encore on the next play.


- Out of a timeout, Bron returns the favor a tosses Wade a lob on the break. James is even hitting jumpers now. My Dirk prediction's looking worse every minute.


- This is getting ridiculous. As Bron skies for a soaring 2-hander on the break, we're reminded that Wade's got a double-double with 20 and 10 dimes. The West is looking gassed, like they really coulda used those injured bodies.


- Durant ices one from the parking lot as the buzzer sounds. It's 118-109 for the East going into the fourth. Melo's got 25 to lead all scorers.

- 108,000 and change in attendance. Not shabby.

- West comes out on a tear and cuts it to two in just over a minute. Guess we're gonna have a game on our hands here.

- Celeb Watch: Jigga, P Diddy, TO, Chris Tuckered; lookin like he's 60, Gabrielle Union (anyone got her on Facebook?), The Governator, and of course Spike Lee.

- Wade saves/lobs behind his back to Lebron on the break...who saves it between his legs to Rondo...who dishes behind the back to Wade.........who loses it as he goes up and gets fouled. Rats.

- Next time up the floor, Zach Randolph lays the hardest foul in All-Star history on Wade as he flies baseline.

- The odd whistles continue, a backcourt violation leads to a goaltend to knot the score at 124.

- Rondo pilfers the rock, straddles the sideline, and hits Wade for a nice oop (I'm pretty sure all Wade's field goals tonight are dunks); East up 4.

- For some reason, they're still showing those lame dunk contest ads with those spoken-word poets begging for a night that "goes down in history" and "gives us something to read about"...were they watching? Fuck off already.

- Wade with another steal, another dunk, another nail in the MVP coffin?. The East is looking like they're in control, up nine with 3:30 to go.

- A pair of free throws from Dirk cut it to 5 a minute later. The East is back to bricking jumpers...stay tuned....oops another steal leads to a Lebron breakaway dunk...and Chauncey comes back with an icy 3. Mr Big Shot indeed.

- Another Nowitzki trip to the charity stripe, and it's a two point game with a buck thirty left. Too early to ask for overtime?

- Chaaauuuunceyyyyyy. Billups ties it with a stepback right in Wade's mug.

- The game is tied, 30 seconds left, 100, 000 people on their feet, Deron Williams....dribbles into traffic and turns it over...and then fouls Wade with 11.2 left under the false pretense that his team was down two. Dwyane hits both, setting up what's either going to be a very thrilling or very stupid conclusion.

- They draw up a screen to free Dirk for a triple. Dwight bites on a pump fake and sends Nowitzki to the line, where he inevitably hits both. Tie game with 7.7 left...

- So who's getting the shot? My money's on a Lebron iso...but no a screen for Bosh off his own inbound. He gets tripped and wets both at the line...enough with the free throws already.

- 5 seconds left...does Dirk get another shot at the win? Instead Melo bails on a trey, the East wins a tight one 141-139. Wade's gotta be the MVP. Between the high-flying antics of Howard, Wade and James, a halftime show that looked (..and mostly sounded) better than The Who, and a relatively thrilling game down the stretch, the largest crowd ever to watch a basketball game got their money's worth. Even at like $500 a pop for nosebleeds.

- Confirming the obvious, Dwyane Wade takes down the MVP. All in all, a pretty entertaining evening, but I'm all outta popcorn. I'll get back later this week to break down the trade deadline madness, til then, peace.

The Death of the Dunk Contest

I dunno about you guys, but I woke up with a bitter taste in my mouth this morning. Not the kind of "I forgot to brush my teeth last night" bitter, or even "too much stout draught" bitter, but "I watched the dunk contest die right in front of me" bitter. It didn't help matters that the audio was drowned out by some drunk lady belting out sub-par karaoke at my favorite watering hole, but even without the imitation Cyndi Lauper in the background, it was a disgusting display.

The Dunk Contest has been mired in a downward spiral for years now; a lethal mix of superstar reluctance and inane league rules have reduced what was once one of All-Star Weekend's most exciting draws (some would argue its marquee event) into a sad, mangled bastardization. We've seen many pathetic attempts to revive it, but based on the dud that was fired up last night, the A's a long way from getting their act together and restoring the glory days. Here's 10 things they might wanna look into:

10. Set the Mood - Kill the lights. Add some pyro. Bang a few club anthems. Hell, maybe even bring back the drumroll. Last night's contest reminded me of a Monday afternoon; no ambience, no excitement. Judging from the throw-downs, I wasn't the only one who wasn't feelin' it.

9. Fuck the Fans - I know it's just the League trying to reach out and keep fans involved, but these are the same idiots who voted AI as a starter this year. They clearly don't know what the hell's going on. Plus we're never gonna get to see that iconic wide-angle shot of the judges all raising 10s after someone throws down some niceness that clearly ends the proceedings.

8. Legalize Solo Flights - I'm still not sure why the League insists that participants include a teammate on one of their first round attempts, but this serves no constructive purpose whatsoever. If a player wants to catch a lob from his buddy, let him make that choice, don't force another shackle onto a contest whose essence (creativity) has already been stymied (more on that in a second...)

7. Ban Nate Robinson for Life - Perhaps most damning of the Dunk Contest's fall from grace is that a pint-sized cheerleader, who despite his undeniable athleticism and showmanship takes an average of 5 attempts to put one down, is now its most decorated champion ever.

6. Impeach Lebron - If I'm the commish, and the most celebrated, athletically gifted player under my rule openly declared his candidacy for the dunk contest, only to back-out quicker than Melo in a brawl, I'd be pissed enough to send him a Stern letter, informing him that he won't be allowed to win an NBA title until he delivers on that bold remark. If you want to restore the star factor (sorry Gerald, you don't count) to the contest, he'd be the Pied Piper.

5. Slash the Shot Clock - 2 minutes to put one down? Sorry, this is just wrong. No wonder we've had to sit through insufferable epic meltdowns of players trying desperately to finish a dunk 20 times (..and then having them win..). Giving players 30 seconds or so would force them to be realistic and on point; any dunk's better when it goes down the first time.

4. Kill the Fun Police - Five years ago, Josh Smith wanted to bring Paul Wall out and windmill over him. Clearly would've been the greatest dunk ever, but apparently this wasn't allowed. But it's ok for Dwight and Nate to don superhero outfits and turn the contest into a stupid gimmick? Again, let the dunkers decide what they want to do. Hell, let Rudy Gay clear the 3-6 Mafia from the foul line next year. You want hype? get better dunkers involved. Wanna get better dunkers involved? Reassure them this is THEIR contest.

3. Let Everyone Play - Enough with this invite-only crap. Limiting the field to four contestants chosen by the NBA is restricting and pretentious. If some young cat thinks he can show us something exciting, why not? Allowing players to declare their own entry would only open up more possibilities. You think James White wouldn't have entered at least once?

2. Lose the Dunk-In - The latest in a long line of forced attempts to spice up the Contest; all this dos is force a worthy participant to waste a nice dunk (there are only so many...) just to punch his ticket. In the worst-case scenario, you could have a guy like Eric Gordon, who isn't much of a flashy dunker to begin with, struggling to throw down during halftime of a game he's playing in?? Come on...

1. Put Some Real Money Up - First prize in the Dunk Contest is 35 grand. Not a bad check to be cut for a half hour's work, but to NBA players this is little to be excited about. Now suppose the purse got upped to 1 million (which the League can clearly afford with little hesitation), not only is there an instant buzz created (maybe big enough to get some big names involved), but young, athletic showmen might be inclined to go all-out, chasing the realistic prospect of making more cheddar on All-Star saturday than through a whole season on the league minimum. Regardless how big the ripple, you create interest and get people caring about the contest...because after last night it's becoming very hard to do.

...Say It Ain't So

The Los Angeles Clippers have been one of the most historically laughable teams in the history of professional sports. From botched draft picks, to inane trades, to moves aimed at shaving dollars regardless of the accompanying talent, this team has never been able to get it together long enough for anyone to take them seriously. So what does a perpetually terrible team do when their rookie stud's injured all year, their coach was recently dismissed and they're destined for another trip to Secaucus for the Draft Lottery?

They go after the best possible man to lead their franchise (into disaster) . Of course.

For all you Clippers fans out there, I'm sincerely sorry. Everyone else, let's pray this happens; it'll be way too much fun.

POWER RANKINGS!!

We're rounding the corner on the NBA season; this month should truly separate the pretenders from the contenders as the Trade Deadline leads into the regular season's final month. Before the madness, let's see where everyone sits in this month's Power Rankings:

30 (30) New Jersey Nets
What's there to be said that hasn't been already? Seriously, nothing.

29 (29) Minnesota Timberwolves
Luckily for the L-Wolves, New Jersey's been stealing the spotlight from their wayward season with their unrivaled awfulness. The constant trade talk surrounding their best player isn't entirely unfounded; this team needs a serious identity check.

28 (27) Detroit Pistons
At this point I'm willing to give them "Disappointment of the Year" status. They're too talented a team in too weak a conference to be routinely losing by double digits and shuffling through lineups like old socks. At least that $100 mil they threw at BG and Charlie V's looking like money well spent...

27 (28) Golden State Warriors
The struggles continue for the most erratic team in the Association; Monta Ellis is doing everything he can but this team's way undersized, way too useless on D and, dare I say, in need of a coaching change. Don Nelson's a historically frustrated coach in the twilight of his career and likely lacking the patience to deal with the massive re-building effort the Warriors need to undertake.

26 (22) Sacramento Kings
Down goes Tyreke, and likewise, the Kings. Even with Kevin Martin back in form, it's becoming clear that Evans is a much more dynamic presence in the backcourt and is vital to Sac-Town's success. There's little to salvage of the season at this point, but having nabbed (arguably) the best prospect in the draft can't hurt going forward.

25 (26) Washington Wizards
Now that the dust has settled from Gilbertgate, the Wizards can hopefully shift their priorities back to basketball and the impending trade deadline. Of course any moves they make will be clouded by the possibilty of Arenas' contract being voided, but their mangled roster needs some adjustments and with the Wiz at rock bottom, now seems like a great time to blow this mess up.

24 (24) Indiana Pacers
Chugging along in irrelevant obscurity, the Pacers contiue to betray the hopes of their basketball-crazy state by playing an uninspired, lazy game that has them destined for another lottery gamble. Still fighting to regain their standing after the Malice at the Palace fallout, at least they've finally learned to stay away from wanted felons, gang-rapes and high-speed shootouts.

23 (25) Philadelphia 76ers
Samuel Dalembert's been making headlines lately; obviously touched by the tragedy in his homeland, the Hatian-born center's been co-ordinating League-wide charity efforts while delivering inspired performances on the court. If only the same could be said for the rest of his team, who've been getting more ink in trade rumors than win columns.

22 (23) New York Knicks
Luckily they had the T-Wolves in town the day after Dallas bitch-slapped them by 50 at home; the worst loss in MSG history. Inconsistency's been the name of the game for a Knicks team that was one of the hottest teams around in December, but has dropped 7 of its last 10 to fall well outside the playoff chase. David Lee's been your buddy's couch: shamelessly slept on.

21 (21) Milwaukee Bucks
Michael Redd's career is in serious jeopardy, which doesn't bode well for a Bucks team that looks completely screwed without him. Brandon Jennings' shooting woes continue as this team aimlessly searches for a scoring punch. Suffice to say Carlos Delfino, Ersan Ilyasova and Luc-Richard Mbah a Moute aren't frightening too many people.

20 (19) Los Angeles Clippers
Hopefully they don't have an Oden on their hands, but the other franchise with a terrible track record of drafting big men will have to wait until next season for Blake Griffin to be a factor. Meanwhile, LA fans are surely crying foul about Chris Kaman's All-Star snub, which is setting the tone well for what's shaping up to be another crappy season for the Empty Clips.

19 (17) New Orleans Hornets
Things were looking up in New Orleans; not only did the Saints survive a scare to make the Super Bowl, but the Hornets were playing well and pushing back towards the playoffs...then Chris Paul went down for at least a month and sent their season straight down the toilet.

18 (11) Houston Rockets
The Rockets, once the surprise of the West, have fallen off more than a bit. Their last six games came against the Spurs, Bulls, Hawks, Nuggets, Suns and Blazers, but with Miami as their only playoff opponent in the next seven, now seems like an ideal time to make up for lost ground in the playoff chase.

17 (14) Miami Heat
This shallow squad once had as firm a grip as it could've on the 5th seed, and has tumbled all the way down to 8th thanks to some lackluster efforts from everyone on the team not wearing #3. Wade may have once wanted to finish his career in South Beach, but you have to wonder if his mind hasn't drifted elsewhere over several disappointing seasons.

16 (20) Chicago Bulls
Looking more like a legit playoff team with each passing week, DaBulls celebrated Derrick Rose's first All-Star nod with a 5-game winning streak, leaving San Antonio, Phoenix and OKC as casualties.

15 (18) Charlotte Bobcats
It seems a safe bet at this point that they'll pop their playoff cherry in April. Chalk up another franchise turnaround for Larry Brown, which means it's only a matter of a year or two before he gets bored and deserts them.

14 (12) Oklahoma City Thunder
The rest of the West is catching up these youngsters and their playoff ambitions, but they've shown an ability to contend with tough competition, so there's no reason to assume they won't win some needed games and push themselves into the postseason...Especially not with Kevin Durant being absolutely unguardable.

13 (16) Memphis Grizzlies
It seems kinda strange seeing them this high, but with a 7-3 surge over their last ten, the Grizzlies leave me with no choice. Zach Randolph's been a beast, Marc Gasol's making a serious charge for MIP, and aleeged trade bait Rudy Gay couldn't be helping his own cause much more with a series of high-scoring exploits en route to Memphis W's.

12 (15) Toronto Raptors
It seems kinda strange seeing them this high, but with a 7-3 surge over their last ten, the Raptors leave me with no choice. Even with Hedo Turkoglu being relatively useless, the Raps have been winning through improved defense and a more balanced attack between the uptempo physicality of Jarrett Jack and the passive efficiency of Jose Calderon. Chris Bosh continues to impress and tempt opposing GMs, and Bryan Colangelo continues to insist that he won't trade him. Time will tell which of these forces prevails; hopefully it won't be too late for the Raptors to salvage their franchise player.

11 (6) Phoenix Suns
Playing away from home against tougher competition, the Suns have looked like a shell of the team that jumped to a West-best start and had Steve Nash atop MVP discussions back in November. Now it looks like Amar'e's finally getting shipped and this team might have to hit up the 'ol drawing board. Advice for Steve Kerr: look ahead a couple of years before the next time you give a 36-year old near-max dollars; Nash surely doesn'y want to spend the twilight of his career mired in a re-building effort.

10 (3) Boston Celtics
Sound the alarm. Even with KG back, the Celts have dropped 7 of 10 and look to be having trouble closing out tight games. They outplayed the Lakers for 9/10ths of their painful home loss on Sunday, and took similar Ls to the Magic and Hawks last week (the latter having swept the season series). This is the wrong time to have the wheels start falling off.

9 (10) Portland Trailblazers
It's a miracle that they're still here after all the injuries they've weathered, but the current rotation looks to be doing the job, and the trade deadline could yield another big body to shore up their front line. Their steady ascent to Western Supremacy took a hit, but how they've responded can't be anything but inspiring to Oregon basketball fans.

8 (8) San Antonio Spurs
Losing Tony Parker (and subsequently a Sunday showdown with the Melo-less Nuggets) can't help a team that, outside of Tim Duncan's awesomeness, is struggling to live up to expectations. Calling them a playoff team is safe, but anything beyond that's a serious stretch for a squad that had the whole A on edge preseason.

7 (13) Utah Jazz
Finally playing to their potential, the Jazz have shot up to the 4th seed in the West behind brilliant play from Deron Williams. His partner in crime, Carlos Boozer, is looking all the more expendable with Paul Millsap producing well in extended minutes, which introduces a new dilemma: stay the course and cut costs?...Or give the playoffs a shot with one the League's most thorough rosters?

6 (5) Dallas Mavericks
Getting dusted by the Raptors must've hurt because the ensuing 50-point pummeling of New York might be the W of the year, and saw the Mavs show more determination than at any point this year. Still, Dallas' perimeter continues to fuel its success, and legitimate contention might rest on a deadline deal.

5 (9) Atlanta Hawks
I hated on the Hawks last month, and they responded by sweeping the season series with the Celtics and briefly usurping the Magic for the Southeast lead. They certainly look more comfortable than the Celtics right now, and arguably should've had 3 All-Stars. No longer 'safely 4th in the East', I've been forced to eat my words.

4 (7) Orlando Magic
They took the division lead back and now look to regain their health as they try to fend off the Hawks. There's no doubting that they're talented enough to make another Finals run, but there have been more bumps in the road to a return than anyone would've anticipated.



3 (4) Denver Nuggets
Even without Melo, they've been stepping up and winning big games thanks to the steady hand of Chauncey Billups and an increased scoring punch from Kenyon Martin. They're still a ways away from fucking with the Lakers, but the bridesmaid's gown in the West never looked so good on them.



2 (1) Los Angeles Lakers
They've been playing a lot of close games, albeit winning most of them, but the Lakeshow seems to have lost some of that championship swagger that carried them through the early part of the season. Only a serious skeptic is doubting their status as favorites to repeat, but they're not the best team in the NBA right now.


1 (2) Cleveland Cavaliers
I'm stoked as a Cavs fan. My squad's here not as a matter of personal bias, but because they're unquestionaly the class of the Association right now. They've won both meetings with the Lakers this year, and continue dusting the opposition even as Mo Williams nurses a separated shoulder. "Separate" might as well be the Cavs' word of the month, as it's also what they've been doing relative to the rest of the East, and what Lebron's been doing vs. his one-time MVP competition.

This and That

- The All-Star reserves were leaked, sorry - announced yesterday, and the A's bench bosses did a pretty respectable job of voting in the right players. Among seven first-timers will be the overdue Deron Williams, the precocious Kevin Durant, and Zach Randolph, the guy whose career had been on such a vicious downswing prior to this year that he couldn't even cop a spot on the fan ballots. Damn. 21/11 happens and suddenly the once-written-off Grizzlies are holding down a playoff spot. If only Comeback Player of the Year existed. My only serious beefs are with Josh Smith and David Lee's exclusions. Smith's been an all-around monster for a Hawks team that's carved a niche among the East's top-tier team thanks in part to his aggressive slashing, reluctance to launch jumpers and general defensive brilliance. Speaking of the Hawks, Al Horford's having a nice year, but he's the third-best player on his team and the Daily Double's grinding out huge numbers for a not-so-unbearable Knicks squad. This was a tragic example of a deserving player's crappy team robbing him of an All-Star berth. Oh well. They'll be better with Lebron next year...

- The looming uncertainty surrounding Gilbert Arenas' suspension was cleared up Wednesday as the Sternbot laid down the expected season-long ban on Agent Zero....and some guy named Javaris Crittenton. Although Arenas is expected to avoid jail time, and therefore legal grounds for his contract to be voided, he's lost 70% of his salary and countless millions in endorsements. He's played roughly half a season's worth of basketball over the past three and although his suspension's been etched in stone, that's about all that's certain about Gilbert's future. If and when he returns to the NBA, he'll have to be a shell of his former self on and off-court; any team that he suits up for will have him on a leash shorter than Earl Boykins. We've witnessed the tragic demise of one of basketball's most entertaining personalities, at the hands of his own excess. Let us never forget him.

(And in related news, apparently Kobe's on the same tip. Bad time for the editor to be freebasing.)

- Another event on the cluttered NBA horizon is the impending trade deadline, which for a plethora of reasons could be among the busiest in recent history. The Suns are openly shopping Amare, the Jazz have long intended to part ways with Carlos Loozer, and names like Monta Ellis, Chris Bosh, David West and Andre Iguodala are popping up in rumors frequently enough to imply the possibility of several blockbusters. While it's all speculation at this point, the old saying "where there's smoke there's fire" took root for a reason, and very rarely have this many big names been drifting around trade talk, especially in a volatile climate for GM's under pressure to shed salaries while remaining above water in a brutally competitive league. We could be looking at a much-changed landscape in a couple weeks, let's hope all the excitement isn't for nothing.

- Meanwhile, back on the court, several teams that got off to shaky starts are seriously hitting their stride as the season comes into form. The Chicago Bulls were an absolute fucking disaster in November, losing unfathomably and leaving fans and analysts alike calling for Vinny D's head. The Utah Jazz struggled to find a consistent rhythm amongst their talented lineup, frustrating even the un-fazeable Jerry Sloan. The Memphis Grizzlies were mired in the Allen Iverson mishap and one of the A's worst starts; they seemed destined to fulfill their expected status as doormats. Two weeks ago, all three of these teams were on the outside looking at the playoff party, which they all have since crashed with 8-2 runs over the last ten. Also cruising at slightly lower altitudes are the Toronto Raptors and San Antonio Spurs, both of whom faltered early and are stringing impressive victories together as they begin to play to their potential.

To find out exactly where all these teams fit in the whole scheme of the Association, tune in early next week for February's Power Rankings. Have a good weekend everyone, peace.

Want a Good Laugh?

Click Here

I'm still not sure whether I should be ROTFLMFAO, or horrified for the millions of innocent children who might stumble across this atrocity. The internet was never a safe place, but it just became far more troublesome.

I'll be back Friday to break down what's going on around the League as teams continue to find themselves and prepare for the trade deadline. Til then, peace.

Your REAL 2010 All-Stars

With the NBA's annual midseason classic a few short weeks away, it's once again time for the league's fans and coaches to team up and decide who will don the venerable All-Star tag. In theory this concept allows fans to see the players they want and be engaged in the process, while providing a certain degree of legitimacy through some more educated selections. What's unfolded instead is a dubious conundrum skewed by varying perceptions, position restrictions and the stupidity of "fans" who still think Tracy McGrady is one of the two best guards in the West. Every year, deserving players watch from the stands as their lessers don All-Star unis and take to the court on false premises. Paying some regard to team success, the guys on the court should be the class of the Association; its best players. Here's who they've been so far this season:



EAST STARTERS
G - Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat
The Heat have surprised nobody with their mediocre showing so far this year, and Wade's fallen a step from last year when he was making a very loud MVP push. 27/5/6 are nothing to frown about (or be blasted by your GM) though, Wade's easily been the best guard in the East this year.


G- Joe Johnson, Atlanta Hawks
Now that the Hawks have apparently arrived to the East's penthouse, Johnson should've gotten his proper dues as a starter (apparently Allen Iverson's just been too remarkable this year). A killer two-way player, Johnson's contributions were criminally underrated for years because Atlanta sucked. It's sad to see the same thing happening now that they're winning.


F- Lebron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
Not so much of a stretch to include a guy dropping 30/7/8 for the conference's best team. I could go on about James' All-Star credentials but I'd be wasting my and your time.


F- Chris Bosh, Toronto Raptors
The Raptors have played schizophrenically all year, their one model of consistency being Bosh, who's having a career year and is the only thing standing between Toronto and another lottery gamble. What's worse is that if he's still wearing a Raptors uniform far past the All-Star break, a shallow draft pool will be the least of Bryan Colangelo's concerns.


C- Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic
Not to slight Dwight at all but being called the best center in the East these days isn't much of a compliment. It doesn't take much to lock this spot down; leading the L in blocks and boards is more than enough.


RESERVES
G - Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics
His jumper's still uglier than Tyrone Hill after a triple-OT loss, but remains about the only flaw in Rondo's game. He scores when needed, rebounds very well for a skinny guard, and sits third in the league in assists while leading it in steals.


G - Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls
While he hasn't exploded like some heads predicted, Rose has been Chicago's best player and a worthy candidate in a conference where a sub-.500 record still but you in the playoff, and therefore All-Star, discussion. The Bulls were involved in some of the ugliest on-court debacles in the first half, but little if any of it can be blamed on Rose's tenacious attacking and playmaking.


F - Gerald Wallace, Charlotte Bobcats
If playoff contention demands All-Star votes, then Charlotte's (likely) first postseason appearance should coincide well with this guy being named their first All-Star. 18/11 look too nice; Wallace's own inclination to injury will be the only thing stopping him from making Bobcats history.


F - Paul Pierce, Boston Celtics
Boston's been far from healthy this year, and Pierce has done nothing to suggest he should relinquish his requisite All-Star nod. Fans already voted in KG, and Rajon's a near-lock, so the coaches might shun a third player from the Celtics, which is a damn shame.


C - David Lee, New York Knicks
An All-Star on the Knicks? What the fuck am I smoking? Well, there's gotta be a center on here somewhere, and Dale Davis wasn't available...So the coaches could do much worse than voting a guy dropping 19/11 on a team playing better than anyone could've expected.


F - Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks
For years, NBA coaches have indiscriminately awarded All-Star spots to mediocre players on good teams, following the logic that their contributions were more important because of team success. Riding that train of thought, Smith's stat-stuffing antics should be more than enough to snag his All-Star V-chip now that the Hawks' Mike Woodson could very well be coaching the East (Mike Brown's ineligible, as he had the honor last year).

G - Mo Williams, Cleveland Cavaliers
Before he went down with a shoulder injury, William was primed to make his second consecutive appearance with the Cavs holding court in the East standings. Even though he'll be unable to play, I'm still awarding him this spot because a) the Cavs 'need' a second All-Star and b) Who the fuck else deserves this spot? Gilbert Arenas?


WEST STARTERS
G - Chris Paul, New Orleans Hornets
I'm sure a lot of people are wondering how I could sleep on Steve Nash here. Well hop on over to nba.com and peep Paul's redundant but still incredible stat line. He's arguably the best point guard of this generation, doing all he can to keep the Hornets' heads above water while they try to shed excess weight like nervous girl before the prom. Remember it's the All-Star game, not the All- Team Success game; and CP3's excellence demands a starting spot.

G - Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers
Score at will on anybody. Play through lingering injuries. Hit multiple icy game-winning heartbreakers. Lead the NBA's best team...blah blah blah. You get it.


F - Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets
This has been Melo's finest season; he's not only managed to avoid any juvenile stupidity for a whole calendar year, but is leading the league in scoring and has the Nuggets contending for a second division title. A no-brainer, even among a glut of talented West forwards.


F - Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder
Nipping at Melo's heels in the scoring race is Durant, who's exploded onto the scene as a prodigious phenom who, at 21, is already hearing MVP chants from both over-zealous fans and experienced analysts. The Thunder are making serious playoff noise in the deep West, and his play has been central among many pleasant surprises in Oklahoma City.


C - Amare Stoudemire, Phoenix Suns
Now that Yao Ming's on the shelf for a whole season and we've been spared the onslaught of Chinese nationals pounding out All-Star ballots like Nike kicks, we're left with a struggle to find a legitimate center to replace him. The fans did well to vote in Stoudemire, who's a power forward by trade but spends a lot more time in the post than anyone else on the Suns' roster, and is talented enough to transcend a minor technicality.


RESERVES
G - Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns
Phoenix got off to a somewhat surprising start, and though they've cooled down as they've spent more time on the road, Nash has been as impressive as ever; 18/11 on something stupid from the field, stripe and long range.

G - Brandon Roy, Portland Trail Blazers
Fans have come to expect a lot from this guy, but Roy's been just short of dominant this season in leading the Blazers to a relatively secure hold on a playoff spot given their inevitable (Greg Oden) and unfortunate (Travis Outlaw, Ghostface Pryzbilla) injuries.

F - Tim Duncan, San Antonio Spurs
The Tim Duncan Robot continues to depreciate at an impressively slow rate; his 20/10/3/2 still come as efficiently as ever. It remains to be seen if the Spurs can live up to the preseason contender hype, but falling short will be no fault of Duncan's.

F - Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks
Pencil in another All-Star nod for Diggler, who's leading a maligned Mavs team with no consistent second option or post threat to a 2-seed. He's been impressive and consistent, which is about all the nice stuff I'm prepared to say about him.

C - Pau Gasol, Los Angeles Lakers
Although he's missed a solid chunk of the season with hamstring injuries, Gasol's made undeniable contributions to the A's best team going into the break. The Lakers deserve a second All-Star, and Pau's the clear choice.

F- Zach Randolph, Memphis Grizzlies
The acquisition of two black holes on a talented young team was mocked preseason, but while one was quickly and unceremoniously let go, the other has been an absolute beast and has the Grizz (maybe) in contention for a playoff spot.

G - Deron Williams, Utah Jazz
The Jazz have been a bit of an enigma, but Williams' stellar play has buoyed a team that's been openly shopping its former franchise player for most of the year and has serious doubts surrounding its intentions for the immediate future. This should/will be (no joke) Deron's first All-Star game.

Clearly things aren't going to play out this way; several guys who've spent too much time on the sidelines are already starting and the coaches are never on the same page about who plays where or what constitutes an All-Star. If Andrew Bogut or whoever somehow sneaks in there I won't be surprised, but here's hoping the right guys end up representing the NBA on its most star-studded night.

Half on the 82: The Midseason Awards

In what's seemed like a blink of an eye, the first half of the NBA regular season's sped by and we're already dawning on All-Star Weekend and the Trade Deadline. Things are gonna get pretty hectic over the next couple months, between the mad scrambling for financial flexibility in the offseason and the implications it'll have on the battle royale for the Larry O, we're in for some interesting days ahead. Not to say the season hasn't already been pretty entertaining so far. Here's a salute to the dudes who set themselves apart over the season's first half, the Basketball Banter Midseason Awards

Rookie of the Half: Tyreke Evans, Sacramento Kings

The Kings were destined for the Western Conference cellar this year, and although they're not making playoff moves, they've already won as many games as most heads predicted at the half. That they did this without their leading scorer can be attributed to the exploits of one Tyreke Evans, the explosive combo guard the Kings shrewdly scooped with the 4th pick last June. Reke's been an indomitable floor leader; a steady ball handler and distributor who can score at will against most defenses while being a hard-nosed stopper himself. The 20/5/5 he's averaging has him on pace to join some very elite company: Oscar Robertson, Michael Jordan and Lebron James are the only others to drop those numbers as rookies.

Regards to: Brandon Jennings, Omri Casspi, Ty Lawson

Defensive Player of the Half: Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

Although he's had some ups and downs, and although the Magic have looked far from the juggernaut many took them for, Dwight's gotta be the favorite to snag his second DPOY. It's very difficult to deny a guy who leads the league in rebounds and blocks, and his role anchoring a skeptical Magic defense is vital. His lurking presence in the post keeps many would-be penetrators at bay, easing the defensive burdens of, say, Vince Carter or Jason Williams. If Orlando gets healthy and wakes up, a strong record would lend even more credence to his cause.

Regards to: Josh Smith, Gerald Wallace, Rajon Rondo

6th Man of the Half: Carl Landry, Houston Rockets

A perfect fit for Houston's balanced attack, Landry's game is rounded and solid, short on dominance but with even fewer weaknesses. Far from flashy, he was always ultra-efficient in limited minutes, but this season truly came into his own as a two-way sparkplug as Houston's first man off the bench and go-to guy in the clutch. Still one of the most effective scorers in the L (55% from the field, 85% from the stripe), Carl's biggest threat in this category might be his own play; with Houston lagging a bit, he's got 'starter' written all over him.

Regards to: Jamal Crawford, Lamar Odom, Anderson Varejao

Most Improved Player: Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics

Yeah, I know, it seems a little late suggesting that Rondo's "improved" upon a postseason that saw him average a shade under a triple-double over two very tough series. Still, it would be foolish to ignore the huge strides Rondo's made to become one of the A's elite point guards and every bit as key to Boston's success as the Hall of Famers that surround him. He's one of the League's peskiest defenders (hawking 2.5 balls/games) and has come into his own as a prolific playmaker and able scorer in the key. His numbers have improved (marginally) but only tell part of the story; Rondo's a much more poised floor general who deserves an All-Star nod.

Regards to: Carl Landry, Marc Gasol, Michael Beasley

Coach of the Half: Nate McMillan, Portland Trailblazers

Injuries. The bane of a coach's existence. Not only do they strip talent from the lineup, but put the onus on the bench boss to make adjustments on fly, balancing minutes, running new plays, compensating for new mismatches. In the case of this season's Portland Trailblazers, who have been decimated by injury like few in recent memory, their maintenance of a playoff spot through extended injuries to four rotation players (including both their centers), is a slight miracle that can be attributed to Nate's steady hand at the helm.

Regards to: Rick Adelman, Paul Westphal, Mike Brown

MVP: Lebron James, Cleveland Cavaliers

Now that the Cavs are comfortably back atop the East and have swept the season series with the Lakers, Lebron's usual eye-popping numbers have vaulted him to a comfortable lead in the MVP race, regardless of how you want to call it. Is the best player on a consensus top-3 (many would argue top-2 or just even top) team? Yes. Does he have the most impressive individual numbers? Absolutely. Has he ratcheted his game up another notch this year? Career-highs in all 3 shooting categories would sugest so. Has he been unstoppable in the fourth, single-handedly winning several games for the Cavs? You see where this is going...

Regards to: Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony, Kevin Durant

POWER RANKINGS!!!

As we inch towards the halfway point of the 09-10 season, it's time to take another look at how each team stacks up in the whole scheme of things: here's January's Power Rankings (last month's ranking in brackets)

30 (30) New Jersey Nets

Still on pace to set the record for single-season shittiness, the Nets have been reduced to targets for fantasy owners and tired teams. Thoughts of John Wall and Brooklyn's greener pastures are all they have to hold them over til April.

29 (29) Minnesota Timberwolves

Kevin Love's been a beast since his return last month, but this team still lacks the scoring punch and veteran presence to progress. They're a few seasons away from the playoffs.

28 (25) Golden State Warriors

Now that Andris Biedrins is back on the court they can field a legitimate lineup, but inexperience, inconsistency and defensive neglect will continue to plague them. They have several nice trade pieces and need to do somethng drastic.

27 (21) Detroit Pistons

Someone in the Motor City needs to call a mechanic. The Pistons have dropped ten in a row, mostly by double figures, and lost any sense of identity they might have held. Their $90 million men are playing reserve roles and the media's suddenly (gasp) calling for Joey D's head.

26 (24) Washington Wizards

This team had enough problems before Arenas' armed antics got him indefinitely suspended and shrouded everyone else in distraction. Any kind of turnaround and playoff chase this team could've hoped for now looks about as likely as Javaris Crittenton ever seeing that money Gilbert owes him.

25 (26) Philadelphia 76ers

They got AI back but still can't find any rhythm. Somehow, a group of talented youngsters that was supposed to leap into the East's upper echelon with the addition of Elton Brand has flatlined for a year and a half. It's confusing.

24 (27) Indiana Pacers

They rise by default because they've managed to be slightly less crappy than the teams below them through injuries to ther two best players, and just smoked Orlando at home. Other than that, things have been as irrelevant as usual in Indiana.

23 (28) New York Knicks

The Knicks have managed to play slightly better than I, or anyone else gave them credit for this year. Nate Robinson's once-falling trade stock may be on the rise after he returned from a month-long suspension by single-handedly winning his first game back against the Hawks.

22 (17) Sacramento Kings

They've cooled off a bit since their near-.500 start, but are still waiting for their franchise player to return and fielding two of the top three rookies so far this year. Things in Sac-Town are a lot less bleak than expected this season.

21 (16) Milwaukee Bucks

Now that they're relatively healthy, the Bucks can continue to compete for the final playoff spots in the East. Although they're still young and stole Brandon Jennings last June, I can't help but think a roll of the lottery dice would be better for this team than a first-round walloping.

20 (23) Chicago Bulls

They've steadied themselves after a nightmarish run that saw them lose 8 of 10, take a 30-point L to the Raptors, give up a 35-point lead to the Kings, and nearly cost their coach his job. Derrick Rose's improved play has led the charge back towards a playoff spot.

19 (20) Los Angeles Clippers

The Clips haven't done anything to earn a rise or fall; they've managed to pretty much meet their subdued expectations with a shallow team in a tough conference. The around-the-corner debut of a certain highly-touted rookie will be a needed boost for a stagnant franchise.

18 (18) Charlotte Bobcats

They've been the NBA's proverbial box of chocolates this year; we never know what we're gonna get with them. One night it's an offensively-challenged mess, the next it's a W over the League's hottest team. Either way, they finally look primed to make the franchise's first playoff appearance.

17 (15) New Orleans Hornets

While Peja's bloated and untradeable contract continues to hinder their ability to make a much-needed roster move, they continue to sit in Western Conference purgatory; outside the playoff picture, but not low enough to realistically hope for a high draft pick.

16 (22) Memphis Grizzlies

Once thought to be a litter box for Western contenders, Memphis has assembled perhaps its msot talented team ever and is forcing unsuspecting victims to take notice. Marc Gasol's emergence has leveled the aftermath of his brother's departure, redeeming what was once thought to be among the worst deals in NBA history.

15 (19) Toronto Raptors

Hedo Turkoglu's injury/irrelevance has done little to affect their recent inspired play and improved record. If they had spent that 50 mil on something that actually helped their team, they might have reason to be excited about a recent 6 of 7 win clip, instead of worrying about the looming likelihood that their franchise player will have to be dealt next month.

14 (12) Miami Heat

Pat Riley can publicly blast his team and franchise player all season if he wants, but it won't change the fact that Miami is, at best, the 5-seed in the East and several steps away from a return to contention. It also won't offer Wade any incentive to put up with the rebuilding effort much longer.

13 (9) Utah Jazz

Among the seasons biggest question marks so far is this confounding Jazz squad that wins tough games, loses easy ones, and despite fielding a talented and deep roster, currently sits outside the West playoff bracket. The uncertainty surrounding their plans for Carlos Boozer should subside soon, as he's a near-lock to be traded before the deadline.

12 (14) Oklahoma City Thunder

Making a serious playoff push a year or two before anybody expected them to, they've been the surprise of the season. Durant's been a lethal scorer and mature leader; everything anyone could (any many did) expect of him. You can't help but assume most Thunder fans include Blazers GM Kevin Pritchard in their nightly prayers.

11 (13) Houston Rockets

If they play the Tracy McGrady card well, they can add a couple solid pieces to an already well-balanced roster. Easily boasting the least star power of any Western playoff team, they've beaten/lost close games to many contenders and memories of their near-win against the Lakers last spring will be fresh in minds of any opponent in April.

10 (10) Portland Ailblazers

Illness has stricken this team like no other, claiming their owner, coach (for a minute), and all of their big men, leaving the almighty Juwan Howard as their starting pivot. They've managed to keep their heads above water thanks to the brilliance of Brandon Roy and the emergence of Martell Webster. Keeping it up all year might prove difficult though.

9 (7) Atlanta Hawks

The Hawks started off on a tear but recent meltdowns against the likes of New York, Miami and Chicago have slid them back where they belong; safely 4th in the East. The additons of Jamal Crawford and Joe Smith have added lacking depth, but they'll still be hard-pressed to make a run past the 2nd round.

8 (11) San Antonio Spurs

Somewhat healthier and more cohesive, the Spurs have reeled off 8 of 10 and are starting to look more like the team we expected with Richard Jefferson in the mix. Like Portland however, staying healthy will a tricky and vital task; this team could be an injury away from the lottery in a deep conference.

7 (2) Orlando Magic

Granted they haven't been the healthiest team in the League, but they've been playing some poor basketball, given they boast arguably the deepest roster in the NBA. Dwight's been up and down, Vince has been hobbled and their offense has ben far too reliant on JJ Redick. Last year they responded to injury by making a Finals run, more recently they've sunken to .500 ball and a 3-game losing streak...at the hands of the Bulls, Pacers and Raptors.

6 (6) Phoenix Suns

Still scoring a bunch and paying little regard to defense, they're coherent madness; what the Warriors wish they were. Exciting as it is to watch, I can't help but feel like the window's closed on the Stoudemire/Nash era. This style didn't win them championships when they were more talented, deeper, and at least started one potent defender. There's no reason to expect one now.

5 (7) Dallas Mavericks

With Dirk now echoing my concerns about their lack of an offensive arsenal, the Mavs could be in the market to acquire any of the many players who are sure to be dangled in the coming weeks. Packaging Josh Howard with a lesser might net them Boozer, who would keep defenses much more anchored on the block than Erick Dampier. If Cuban adds a beast in the post and give Diggler, Terry and Kidd more room to operate, they just might be a new threat to the crown.

4 (5) Denver Nuggets

They've been losing games lately - as teams tend to do when their two best players are injured - but there's no reason to assume they're still not the second-best in the West. The only problem for them is that the gap they need to cross to catch the team ahead of them's the biggest one in the top 10.

3 (3) Boston Celtics

It's hard to peg Boston anywhere right now; a part of me's impressed that they've weathered a bunch of key injuries to maintain the best record in the East. But an even bigger part of me's concerned because if any contender has health issues and is an injury away from a premature playoff exit; it's them.

2 (4) Cleveland Cavaliers

The Cavs look a lot more comfortable with their new surroundings than they did a month ago. For all the talk of their soft early schedule, they've been winning the games they need to. Their hit list includes massacres of the Magic, Suns and Lakers, as well as a recent sweep of a home 'n home with Atlanta. If only they could stop losing to the Bobcats...

1(1) Los Angeles Lakers

Their Christmas Day misstep aside, no team's looked as impressive as the Lakers so far this year. Kobe's been lights out and even though Pau's playing on two tender hammys, they're deep enough to limit his minutes and keep him fresh for the playoffs while locking down the 1-seed. It's going to take a lot more than a single loss to the Cavs playing their best ball of the year to convince me that they're not still the favorites.

Arenas Kicks off the New Year with a Bang

Happy New Year (decade) everyone; hope the Holidays were everything they were supposed to be. As we embark upon the 2010's, the Association's top cheese and legions of fans are no doubt all praying for the next ten years to be a shade less turbulent than the last have been. PR (public and player) problems stole the spotlight from some amazing basketball too often in 2000's, but unfortunately, if primacy is any indication, we're in for more of the same:

As you all know by now, Gilbert Arenas, whether influenced by his Halo obsession or general stupidity, decided to stash a trio of handguns in his locker at the Verizon Center. Furthering his idiocy, Arenas turned the guns over to Wizards officials, claiming that he "didn't know how to dispose of them after his child was born", figuring that this wouldn't raise any eyebrows.

When the Wizards inevitably saw a problem with his weapons cache and the news became public, an NBA probe into the incident revealed a much more troubling incident: that Arenas and little-used teammate Javaris Crittenton had pulled guns on each other in a locker-room dispute that stemmed from a gambling debt. While details are still surfacing and being obscured by Arenas' very public and equally vague interpretations of what went down, it's apparent that these players were not only strapped in an NBA arena, but flaunted the weapons in a crowded locker room.

Arenas has since tried to dismiss the incident as being a "friendly confrontation", saying that it's been "blown out of proportion", but his indscretion's going to cause a lot of problems for a League that's been relentlessly trying to clean up its image.

The perceived need for pro athletes to protect themselves is debatable. For every stupid incident like this and Plaxico's Cheddar Bob moment, there are multiple robberies, assaults and murders of stars who, understandably, might feel targeted. If an athlete feels the need to pack heat, let's say, when at home with family or driving alone late-night, then that's their constitutionally-protected right and nothing for us to question. But deep inside the confines of a heavily-fortified NBA property, it no longer remains an issue of protection, but one of excess and poor judgement. Surrounded by friends, teammates, media and security personnel, Arenas and Crittenton had no logical reason to fear for their safety, and demonstrated even less logic in their decision to bring guns with them. That they whipped them out in the locker room, regardless of context, is beyond derogatory adjectives.

Even if we choose to give Arenas the benefit of the doubt and chalk this up as a joke between teammates, it's impossible to call the incident "harmless". The NBA spent the second half of the 2000's dealing with a multitude of image issues stemming from incidents like this , this, and this. While gun fueds between buddies might be all fun and games for them, explaining this seemingly irrational logic to legions of fans who've become disillusioned by the NBA's love affair with violence is difficult. Guns are a sensitive issue; they take thousands of innocent lives every year and spark endless debate. Arenas' exposure to gun violence has been limited to an online shoot-em-up, and his lax attitude towards his deliquency might not sit well with fans in Camden, Compton, Baltimore, or other violent cities plagued by gang violence.

As the investigation continues, suspensions, fines and God knows what else lay in wait for Arenas, who it seemed couldn't be having a worse year before this fell out. Now disgracing himself with his actions both on and off the court, the NBA's class clown might have to just chill at the front of the class and rest his head for a bit; his brand of humor might be wearing thin.